Author's Note

In lieu of writing more Displaced Into Nothing, I wrote more bullshit instead.

Chapter 2 - My Fever's Rising, please come quick!

"Amazing..." one of the nurses said as they walked out of the surgical ward.

"Astounding..." another one said.

"Who would've thought that you could replace a patient's liver with a baked potato?"

The young pony who'd been brought in had survived one of the most severe cases of Extreme Awesomeness Overload the hospital of ever seen, and was now recovering in his room, the baked potato's magical properties filtering out the dangerous levels of Radicalness that had been coursing through his veins. The stallion who'd walked into the OR had saved a life that day.

Also he had an amazing cock.

At that moment, said stallion was walking through the hallways with the esteemed head surgeon, Doctor Lolipop.

“You did good, Dick. I dare say this is one of the most impressive cases we've seen in this hospital.”

“Why, thank you,” Doctor Dick responded, “I do try my... hardest.” He bobbed his eyebrows.

Doctor Lolipop gave a little chuckle, reaching out and opening the door to a fancy looking office, which had a wide window overlooking the Manehattan skyline. He stepped inside, taking a lolipop from a large jar and opening his mouth, reaching out with his tongue to wrap it around the bulk of it, before taking it into his mouth and sucking, working his lips around it like a pro. “Mmf,” he said, opening a closet and rummaging for a moment. He slipped the sucker out of his mouth, running his tongue over his upper lip to savor the flavor, reaching out and handing a semen-colored coat to Doctor Dick. “Here's your Labcoat, Doctor Dick. Welcome to the team.”

“Why thank you, Doctor Lolipop, I look forward to working with you in the future.” Doctor Dick said with a smirk.

"We don't have any offices available at the moment, but I'm sure we could find something..."

"No need," Dick raised a hoof, "A broom closet will do just fine."

"A broom closet?"

"How do you think I'll be spending most of my down time?" Dick gestured to his crotch.

Doctor Lolipop drew a blank for a moment, then nodded, "Good Point."

There was a knock at the door. Short, clipped, as if that of a serious pony. Clearly the knock of an antagonist to a serious story such as this one.

“Come in!” Doctor Lolipop called.

The handle turned, and a wiry looking pony wearing a lab-coat and a short-cropped mane and tail sauntered in.

“Doctor Lolipop.” he said in a gravely tenor.

“Doctor Geld. What can I do for you?”

“I'd heard you were considering adding a new surgeon to the staff. Some pony who wandered into the O.R.?” He narrowed his eyes a little at Doctor Dick.

“Yes. Doctor Dick here is an amazing surgeon. I just hired him.”

“Right... So... Where did he get his Doctorate?”

“I don’t have one. College was never part of my...” he bobbed his eyebrows again, “passage.”

“Well, then, you’re not really a ‘doctor’ are you.” Doctor Geld narrowed his eyes a little more.

“A doctor is somepony who heals others, and I can assure you, I excel at a certain kind of healing.” again, the eyebrow bob.

“I agree,” Doctor Lolipop nodded, “Just because he doesn’t have a piece of paper doesn’t mean he should be barred from the craft.”

“I don't know Doctor Lolipop,” Doctor Geld went on, “he doesn't have a medical license or even a degree. I don't think you can just make him a surgeon.”

“I assure you, his qualifications have been presented to me, and they’re more than acceptable.

“Oh, well, that’s good to hear.” Doctor Geld said with a nod, “I just wouldn’t want an unqualified surgeon operating on living ponies. May I see them then?”

Doctor Dick simply smirked for a moment, “Oh, you can see them alright.” He bobbed his eyebrows at Doctor Lolipop for a moment, before rearing up to reveal his throbbing erection, slamming it on the table, letting the massive member’s perfect shape and tone do the talking. The cold glass fogged slightly around it as it showed itself proudly to the other ponies.

Doctor Lolipop gave a nod, smirking at Doctor Geld, his point proven.

“That’s... A very healthy penis, I guess... But what does that have to do with being a medical professional?”

The other two just stared at him for a moment.

“Well...” Doctor Lolipop said, “It’s a really nice cock, so...”

Doctor Geld raised a brow.

“You know, maybe the quality of his cock translates into the quality of his surgery?”

“How is that supposed to work?” Doctor Geld asked, as if it wasn’t obvious.

“Well, you know... Good in the bed, good in the head?”

“You made that up just now!” Doctor Geld finally snapped, “There is literally no reason to assume he’s a good surgeon just because he has a nice dick!”

“Now now, Doctor Geld, no need to get personal here,” Doctor Lolipop raised his forehooves defensively, “Doctor Dick here is perfectly qualified to-”

“No, he’s not qualified! He just told you he has no education or training. For all we know, he just wandered in here one day and decided to be a surgeon!”

“Now, now, I’m sure that’s not what happened.” Doctor Lolipop assured.

“Actually, that’s pretty much exactly what happened.” Doctor Dick unassured.

“Regardless,” Doctor Lolipop reassured, “Doctor Dick is a perfectly capable surgeon with a very nice dick, and I see no reason to deny him the right to practice his craft.

Doctor Geld narrowed his eyes again.

The dick throbbed a little.

“The board...” Doctor Geld measured his words out, “...will be hearing about this.” Slowly, he turned to leave, walking back out the door, letting it drift closed behind him.

The other two stallions stood there in silence, watching him go.

Doctor Dick turned to Doctor Lolipop, letting that still rock hard and still perfect cock slide off the table, the smooth, moist surface making a loud wiping noise as it was dragged along. He spoke again in his sexy baritone, “Is he going to be a problem?”

“Oh, don't worry.” Doctor Lolipop waved a hoof, “He’s probably just jealous because he doesn't have balls."

Doctor Dick nodded, “Indeed.” And he would know, because he had the best balls.