Chapters TFW You Find Your Crush's Nudes
TFW You're Gay and your Friends are Hot
What's this?"
-click-
"...oh."
It started off as any normal day. Twilight Sparkle woke up, brushed her teeth, got dressed and presentable for school, and boarded the bus. She had triple checked that all her of homework was completed before pulling into Canterlot High, she had eaten breakfast in the cafeteria, she had met up with her friends and let them engage each other in small talk as she had none of her own to contribute, she had given her full attention to her morning classes. Everything went normally until lunch, when the day officially had diverged from her normal schedule.
"Do you mind if I ask you a favor, darling?"
During a playful debate between Rainbow Dash and Applejack about some sort of sports thing, Twilight had taken a moment to read ahead in her AP calculus textbook so as to get a sneak preview for what the class would be like next week. It took her a moment to register that the question that Rarity had proposed was directed towards herself.
"Me?" she asked, clarifying.
"Yes, I'm sorry. I didn't want to interrupt you during your reading but it is fairly pertinent that this favor be accomplished tonight, else I'll lose out on a particularly large order." The dressmaker placed her fingers on the table in front of her and leaned in, conspirationally whispering. "I'd like to know if you would be able to help me with something internet related after school today, but only if you yourself were able to." she leaned back and examined her fingernails as she continued, this time in a normal voice. "There is a chance that my sister will be able to assist me with this if you are unable to, so please don't feel any sort of obligation."
Twilight nodded. "Of course I'll help you, Rarity," she affirmed, closing the book and slipping it back into her bag. "I enjoy the time I spend with all of you, whether for business or pleasure." She adjusted the sleeves of her jumper that had bunched briefly up before crossing her arms and placing them on the cafeteria table. "So what is it that you'll be wanting my help with?"
"You're such a sweetheart, Twilight!" She beamed and placed her palms together before daintily reaching into her purse for her smartphone, careful so as not to hurt the manicure she had gotten during the weekend. She tapped out the unlock code before swiping through a page of red then orange apps, and so on through the rest of the spectrum until she got to the blue, and pressed one that had a white letter 't' on it. She then turned the screen to allow her friend to see as well.
"I use a blogging platform in my spare time to find inspiration for my designs," she explained as the application began to fully load. "Is this something that you would be able to decode?"
Twilight studied the screen as the features slowly began to come online. So to speak.
"It seems to be a dashboard based short form social networking site." She cracked her knuckles. "I could probably hack into the database by the end of the school day. Doesn’t seem too difficult to work with. Not at all a problem!"
"Oh, delightful!" Rarity chirped. "And then perhaps we could get you to take part in it and create an account of your own?" she inquired, batting her eyelashes. "I could always use an extra follower or two."
Twilight shook her head. "I don't get into all of that," she said. "I won't have enough time on my hands to even sleep with all of the scholarship essays I'll have in a few months, let alone try to manage another one of these... facespace things.”
“It’s not...” Rarity sighed. For as smart as she was, Twilight sure was ignorant about many things. But that’s life for most. “Oh, very well then. Your technological expertise is plenty enough assistance regardless.” She nodded and gently smiled. “I can drive you to my house after school today and save you the walk.”
“I appreciate that, Rarity,” Twilight responded, thanking her for the offer. “I can’t wait!”
That was technically a lie. She could wait, and wait she did indeed do. Once the afternoon classes had passed, Twilight gathered up her belongings at her locker in preparation to bid farewell to yet another fairly uneventful day at school. When she closed the door, however, she was surprised by the sudden appearance of-
“Pinkie!?”
Thwoompf!
“Surprise!!!”
Twilight brushed the sudden onset of confetti out from her bangs, behind her glasses, and what she could get to from out of her chest, as a large amount of it had coated her entire head, face, and somehow- confusingly enough- inside of her bra. That wasn’t going to be coming out any time soon. She’d have to ask to use Rarity’s bathroom. What a nuisance!
The bitter and snarky interrogation on why she’d gotten blasted almost at point blank range with the patent-pending glitter gun was cut off by the sweet angelic giggling of a former devil, and all of a sudden the vitriolic indignation melted away into a gentle flowing river of calm, trickling throughout the entirety of her nervous system. Twilight turned her head slightly and only then noticed the other girl’s presence, hidden a little behind a covered cake pan.
Sunset Shimmer. Badass biker chick extraordinaire, living proof that even the worst eggs could have a heart of gold once they’d made a friend or two (or six). A beautiful soul with a shining personality that glowed brighter than her namesake, an amazing talent for music, and a fashion sense that put almost everyone- sans Rarity- in their peer group to shame. And a really nice butt.
...wait, what?
“Happy two-and-a-half-year-iversary of going to school with us!” Pinkie exclaimed, having stashed the glitter gun somewhere or another and holding out a plate with a small cupcake sitting in the middle with a single lit candle at the center.
Has it really been that long? Twilight thought to herself. Yes, it had indeed been six months since it had been two years after the first day Twilight had left Crystal Prep and begun to attend Canterlot High with the girls. Thirty-two whole moons... it still hadn’t felt like that much time had elapsed. And yet here she was, the last year of high school, on the fast track to graduation. It still didn’t feel real.
“I heard you’ve got a thing with Rarebear later on,” Pinkie continued, still holding the navy blue square paper plate reading ‘Celebrate!’ seemingly unaware of the staring contest that Twilight was trying to start with Sunset. “So during study hall I went and borrowed the home ec room to make a cupcake since all I made today was the regular size cake since I didn’t know that you were gonna be too busy to be able to stick around for a full blown party after school like we did the last time we had a half-a-year-iversary for you and that was a total disaster because I overdid the frosting a little bit and Principal Celestia walked in right as I set off my party cannon and she gave us all detention and made us clean the entire gymnasium but that was really fun because we all did that impromptu karaoke sessie but anyways I can tell I’m kind of getting off track here because I should be talking about this year instead of last year and definitely not next year although now that I’m thinking about it there’s not gonna be a next year and now I’m suddenly really sad about that but I’ll totally still make you a cake next year and we’ll all drive to your college and give it to you and do all the stuff that I wanted to do this year but it’s really not that big of a deal because I have parties like this every single day almost but the cake I made today is different than the ones I make normally because I know you’re super lactose intolerant so I made this cake with almond milk instead of cow milk so it’s chocolate cake with a little bit of a nutty taste and I just really hope you like it!”
By the time she had finished, Twilight had gathered herself, waved at Sunset, taken and eaten the cupcake, relieved Sunset of her burden, placed the cake pan nearby on the ground, given Sunset a hug, then picked the cake pan back up and held it securely in the crook of her arm.
“Thank you Pinkie,” she said as she gave a one armed hug to the manic pixie dream girl on account of both of their other arms were otherwise occupied. “I’m sorry that I forgot about the anniversary party. And I really appreciate you remembering my dietary restrictions, and being so thoughtful as to use your study time to do this for me.”
“Aww, it’s really nothing Twi!” Pinkie rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand. “Baking’s easy when you’ve done it as much as I have. It’s worth it to see you guys smile.”
Twilight nodded and gave an attempt at a grin that came off as more of a smirk, as the other half of her mouth refused to cooperate. She gripped her sleeve and pulled it up into the palm of her hand, pretending not to notice the brief flash of concern on Sunset’s face. She adjusted her backpack and purse, before turning to face Sunset and minding that her gaze didn't wander or stay in one place for too long.
“Is Rainbow going to be fine without me today?” she asked, trying to shift the conversation.
“Yeah, it’s Rarity she’ll miss,” Sunset replied, taking the hint. “Apparently she wrote some new material with keyboard harmonies that we were going to get to after our homework was all done. Since you two are the furthest along academic wise, though, we won't lose too much practice time today anyway.”
“Good to hear,” Twilight said, careful to keep the slight twinge of envy out of her voice. As much as everyone swore up and down about her being a true part of their group rather than just a parasite that had latched on and been along for the ride, they never really put very much thought into the possibility of adding string parts to their songs so that Twilight could participate. She could play the violin, cello, piano, and a little bit of the harp, and everyone was aware, but that didn't stop Rainbow and the others from always having some reason or another why they couldn't include her in their music.
It really wasn't that much of a problem, honestly. She wasn't upset with them for that since they had been a band for longer than they'd even known she had existed. Well... they suspected that she did, and Pinkie had seen her before, but she wasn't a conscious part of their minds until more recently than that. She just wished that maybe she could be something other than their cheerleader, the girl along for the ride, their studio backup singer on that one song that they never did live. But alas, it was best that she didn't try to integrate into them since she’d have to part ways soon anyways.
“I shouldn't keep Rarity waiting,” Twilight continued. “She's on a time crunch but we can talk later, right?”
“Of course,” Sunset gently assuaged as she nodded. “I'll text you when we’re finished.”
Twilight nodded as they exchanged waves, Pinkie enthusiastically waving the reappeared glitter gun rather than her arm as she walked. She felt her eyes pull towards their hips but forced herself to turn away. ‘No, Twilight. Bad!’ she chided. Quit staring at your friends’ backsides, one day they'll notice and get really creeped out.
She shook the notions away and refocused. HTML editing. That’s what would be going on today. Specifically converting it all into layman’s terms. And maybe also secretly installing adblock on Rarity’s web browser, running a malware scanner in the background using the command prompt and hotkeys, and a few other odds and ends that would drive Twilight completely up the wall otherwise. Luckily they were able to exchange their knowledge on tech and fashion, the two things in which the two girls were experts on one but completely lost on the other.
These thoughts distracted her on the way to the Mercedes sitting in the back of the parking lot. Between the dress commissions, cuts from her contributions on the record label, a long history of good credit, a small loan from daddy, and just the slightest batting of the eyelashes in the dealership, Rarity got a really good deal on a decade old model that was still as sleek and shiny as one of the newer models and for less than half the cost. She parked all the way at the back so that any roughneck hooligans on skateboards (*cough* Rainbow Dash *cough*) didn't cause anybody any dings or dents.
Once she approached the car, Twilight noticed Rarity was on her phone, but couldn't tell from the screen what was happening. She went ahead and grabbed the car door, pulling it open and causing Rarity to jump with a shriek and accidentally fling her phone into the windshield. Twilight was startled by the sudden loud noise and nearly dropped the cake.
“Twilight!” she cried, placing a hand on her chest, and closing her eyes. “Darling, I do apologize, I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings.” Her face was flushed and her jacket was halfway unzipped despite the low temperature outside.
Twilight slid into her seat, placing her bags by her feet and setting the cake in her lap. “It's okay,” she placated, before taking a deep and meditative breath. “I should have tapped the glass first.”
She reached out to grab the phone that had slid over onto her side of the dashboard, intending to hand it back to Rarity, but the image on the screen caused her to pause. Rarity took that moment to open her eyes, and her breath hitched as she saw Twilight’s face frozen and locked on the screen. A young woman adorned in lacy, revealing lingerie sat on a kitchen island, illuminated by moonlight.
“Th... that's...” she stammered, brain not being of any help whatsoever since it was overwhelmed with a hundred different variations of ‘Holy shit she’s hot!’
“Darling, I...” Rarity gaped, trying to come up with an explanation. She had none, so instead elected to slowly snake her own hand over to slide it from Twilight’s grasp as if her hands were dead fish.
Twilight blinked and shook her head a little, before bringing her eyes up to Rarity’s own, which were a bit... fearful? Or maybe just searching. Judging? No, surely not, she was of course very supportive of Twilight and her orientation. Maybe she's just still reeling from the surprise of being jolted back to reality? Yes, that must be it.
“So you're looking to buy some lingerie,” Twilight said, putting her hands up placatingly. “I'm not here to judge you, Rarity, you're a responsible woman. Whatever you want to wear for your future man is your business. I was just a bit... surprised, is all.” She gave a nervous, awkward, but supportive smile. “It's really pretty though, and I’m sure that you'd look amazing in it.”
Rarity’s eyes slid to the left, processing, and then she closed her mouth and turned back to Twilight. “Yes, right,” she said, hesitantly at first but picking back up to her normal pace and tone. “I thought I'd have a few minutes of privacy to find a nice set to put an order in for. It's the holidays soon, my gift to me, because I can't exactly put something like that on my family’s christmas wish list. I didn't intend to make you uncomfortable.”
“No no no,” Twilight interjected, shaking her hands side to side. ‘She bought it!’
“I'm not uncomfortable at all! It was just a bit unexpected.” She folded her hands gently in her lap over the cake pan. “I mean, I’ve seen girls in underwear before. My bathroom mirror, the girls’ locker room, and when I've glanced through catalogues wondering whether I should bite the bullet and buy my own pair, but... you know me and how I always rule against buying something I'm not going to use for its intended purpose.”
“Darling, wearing sexy underthings for yourself IS one of the intended purposes,” Rarity placated. “Feeling confident and empowered in your own skin does wonders for other areas of your life. In fact...” she bit her lip in thought for a moment before shrugging and lifting her shirt a little.
At Twilight’s ‘eep’, she paused for a moment. “I'm actually wearing one of my favorite pieces now,” she explained, before pulling her blouse up just enough to reveal the material of the bra she was wearing underneath. “It's a midnight blue silk charmeuse that I oftentimes wear when I’m a bit stressed.” she pulled the article back down and straightened it.
“I... didn't know that,” Twilight offered, eyes only briefly having left Rarity’s own to acknowledge the bra. “I always assumed that things like that were only for the pleasure of our paramours,” she explained. “Maybe I should go ahead and get a pair for myself.”
Rarity set a comforting hand on Twilight’s knee. “And if you ever do want a bit of moral support, or a helpful eye for complimentary palettes, I'm here if you need me.” She smiled, tilting her head slightly so she had a better angle to look in her friend’s eyes. “All of us are. Although Rainbow may accidentally laugh at you if you ask her considering of your history with each other, Fluttershy might simply die of embarrassment, and I don’t think that Applejack would even know where to start, but Pinkie Pie and Sunset would absolutely be ready and willing to jump at the chance to help you. I’m sure even Juniper would if she ever really answered any of us.”
Twilight’s heart skipped at the mention of Sunset but she nodded and hesitantly placed her own hand atop Rarity’s own. “I appreciate that,” she said. “And I'm glad you're willing to help me with things like this even though I'm...” she couldn't finish the sentence.
Rarity nodded. “I trust you, Twilight. With my body, my chemistry notes, my computer...” She glanced at the steering wheel. “Anything but my car. No matter whether you love women, men, both, or neither. You're a good person.”
‘No I’m not.’ “Thank you, Rarity. That really means a lot to me.”
The two beamed at each other for a moment before they pulled their hands apart and Rarity out her key in the ignition. They both buckled in before Rarity turned on her CD player, making the speakers churn out a thumping, bassy percussive backbeat alongside a funky low piano riff and a man chanting rhythmically.
“Pinkie made me a cake,” Twilight said, opening the floor back to small talk. “Biannual party for me attending school here. She made it with almond milk so I can actually eat it, but I'm not going to eat a whole cake. Will you want any?”
Rarity barked a laugh for a moment before she covered her mouth and excused herself. “Maybe I’ll have a slice if you're offering, but please don't leave much more than that with me,” she playfully begged. “Either I'll eat it and hate myself for the calories, my sister will eat it and be hyperactive for hours, Opal will eat it and get a tummyache, or it would just go bad in the kitchen and Pinkie would be upset that we let a perfectly good cake go uneaten.”
Twilight nodded. “I know you don't like to eat too much sugar. Or carbohydrates. Or fats... or calories...” she furled up her lips. “I actually have no idea what you do eat.”
A rustling crinkle immediately followed this as Rarity held up a protein bar. “Two of these a day, dried fruit, light jerky, plenty of raw vegetables. Occasionally I'll eat some toast, but never white bread. Whole wheat only. And always butter, never margarine. A glass of red wine in the bath. Oh, don't give me that look, Twilight, you’ve had more vodka in lemonade than I’ll probably ever drink in my lifetime. Breakfast is oatmeal or granola, and sometimes I'll treat myself to a cereal, but not the kinds that are chock full of sugar and high fructose corn syrup.” She slipped the bar back into the box inside the center console. “I eat plenty, I’m just very particular about what I will put inside my body.”
Twilight nodded. “I’m a bit more lenient than that but I get the feeling. I try to shy away from junk food, but sometimes I just get so invested in my studying that I'll realize it's past midnight and decide to just heat up something in the microwave the next time I’m in the kitchen refilling my coffee.”
“I could never do that,” Rarity interjected. “I will never go without sleep. Even if just for a few hours when I'm up late with an order. Although some days I will sleep immediately after getting home from school. Two four hour periods of sleep are just as good as eight hours uninterrupted.”
“Well, actually Rarity, it's not. REM cycles come in ninety minute interludes. According to many case studies, we need five and in some cases six or seven full cycles for the highest functionality. If you sleep four and four, you're only getting about two complete cycles each.”
Rarity was silent for a minute before sighing heavily. “Well, that's the last time I trust clickbait articles.”
The conversation continued to migrate until Rarity finally arrived at her home, pulling into the empty driveway.
“And that's why I think that squirrels are cuter than chipmunks,” Twilight concluded, before undoing her seatbelt buckle.
Rarity nodded as she unbuckled herself and turned off the radio. “You raise some valid points, darling, but I still disagree on account of the fact that there are no troupes of singing squirrels in dapper little suits.” She gathered her purse and various bits before turning the key, silencing the vehicle.
Twilight shrugged. “Fair point,” she said, as she gathered her own items... and then encountered a problem. “Rarity?”
“Don't worry,” she replied, muffled through the windows but still remaining audible. “I'll help you carry your things,” carrying on as she opened the car door and took the cake pan. “I'll be a good host no matter how incorrect you are about the cuteness of rodents.”
Twilight replied with an akanbe, pulling on her eyelid and sticking out her tongue while taking Rarity’s open hand in her own free one. She released her lid to pick up her own purse and bag. “Thanks, but Fluttershy would agree with me here.”
“Wrong, Twilight. Fluttershy would disagree with both of us and say that all rodents are equally as cute. Even...” Rarity said with a shudder. “Rats.”
Twilight giggled. “Well, I can agree with you on that, at least.” she adjusted the straps on her shoulders before falling into step behind her friend, but immediately began to regret this decision as Rarity’s skirt was... very form fitting.
‘Don't look down don't look down don't look do- dammit Twilight, you looked down! Idiot!’
Unaware of the inner turmoil going on behind her, Rarity unlocked the front door to her home and stepped into a fairly cramped dining room. “I apologize for the limited maneuverability, darling,” she said. “My parents are a bit of... collectors.”
The room was full of tacky knick-knacks and antique furniture, stacks of cardboard boxes and plastic bins, and of course the table at the center replete with a gaudy navy cloth adorning it. Twilight looked around and briefly wondered whether Rarity was adopted. Everything smelled musty.
“If you'd like anything to eat, then the kitchen is through that doorway,” she continued. “My room is near the back of the house, if you’ll follow me.”
The pair meandered their way through and around the walls of crap, stuff, and junk alike. Through a pair of double doors, past an overfurnished living room, and down a narrow darkened interior hall they walked. Two of the rooms Rarity showed Twilight, the bathroom and her own bedroom.
“Hello Opal!” the fashionista cooed, rousing the feline from its nap. The cat was displeased with its awakening, evident by her swiping sharp claws at her master’s face before hopping off of the bed and sprinting through Twilight’s legs out the open door.
“Mama loves you!”
Twilight bit her lip as she surveyed the scene, unfamiliar with her surroundings as she had never been to Rarity’s house before, and more than a bit confused at how very un-Rarity the room was.
In the far corner lay a small twin bed with a simple set of white sheets and comforter, underneath which were nearly a dozen pairs of shoes of many styles. Next to it on the wall was a small window that faced right out into the side of her neighbor’s house. In the corner before them was a desk with a desktop computer and several shelves, the space of which were cluttered with notebooks, pencils, fabric swatches, various sewing supplies, and two electronic tables. In the final corner were two dressers piled high with different clothes and even more shoes, placed aside a closet full of yet more clothes. The walls were adorned with a few posters- Songbird Serenade among some other R&B, hip hop, and pop artists, but not much else.
The room was only a few meters wide and long.
“Sorry about the mess, Twilight,” Rarity apologized, placing her purse and the cake on the bed before removing her shoes, jacket, and blouse, revealing the camisole underneath. “I didn’t have time to clean up this morning. If you’d like then you can- are you feeling well, darling?”
Twilight, whose face was now significantly redder than it was before, took a deep breath before replying. “The temperature is a bit high,” she lied. “But it’s fine.”
“I’ll open the window, then,” Rarity said, striding towards it. “I don’t want you roasting or feeling otherwise uncomfortable.”
‘Then don’t take your clothes off, please...’
“Don’t go through too much trouble for me,” Twilight replied quickly, hoping not to let her true thoughts shine through. “I’m here for you after all, and not vice-versa.”
Rarity nodded understandingly. “Of course,” she responded, turning back around to find Twilight staring at the wall to her side, not having moved. This time Rarity bit her lip and inhaled as if to speak, faltered as she re-examined what she was about to say, and then pushed through. “Would you like me to put my shirt back on? I wasn’t thinking.”
“You don’t have to!” Twilight cried. “I mean. You can if you want to. But don’t feel obligated to do it just because I’m being awkward. I’m sorry.” ‘Smooth.’
“It’s really okay-”
“No, I don’t want you to have to do anything differently with me than with any of the other girls just because you have nice collarbones.” Beat. “No! That’s not what I meant to say! I just mean that... I’m not uncomfortable by anything except the possibility that I could be making you feel uncomfortable if I accidentally stare or something. It’s me who has the problem and needs to get a grip on my stupid hormones. It’s your house so please just wear what you want and don’t worry about me because I’m fine, okay?”
Twilight wiped her eyes of the thin sheen of moisture that had welled up during the unexpected burst of emotion. Needless to say, she was not fine. Remnants of Midnight still lingered, always hovering on the edge of her subconscious, lurking. It had been years, and yet it still interfered at the worst moments. This was supposed to be a good, fun, positive experience with one of her best friends, but her brain was running in a dozen different directions just because Rarity happened to be baring her shoulders.
It literally isn’t a problem, it’s not at all a big deal: she has seen Rarity and the rest of the girls in their swimsuits before and there wasn’t an issue. She had seen Rainbow Dash in her underwear when they were dating and that didn’t make things weird between them. She had even accidentally seen Pinkie Pie completely nude in the locker room and things couldn’t be any different! But ironically enough, it was seeing her friends in casual clothes that just so happened to emphasize certain body parts over others that was causing a whole wealth of unpleasant and unwanted emotions to bubble over.
Ever since Midnight, life had been hell in the whole... gay department. Back at Crystal Prep, the uniform for girls called for thigh-highs or knee socks underneath short skirts, but it hadn’t phased her whatsoever back then. She of course knew where her attractions lied, but didn’t pay all that much attention to them. Now, however, if she went back then she would probably literally explode in a rainbow for reasons other than magic. Midnight exacerbated everything: her fears, her doubts, her anxieties... and her capacity for arousal.
It was painful. It physically hurt to see her friends as more than such. It hurt to feel her mind sexually objectifying her friends, for the foreign presence to direct her focus towards their bodies. Fluttershy’s legs, Rainbow’s abs, Applejack’s arms, Pinkie’s breasts, Sunset’s butt, Rarity’s collarbones and shoulders: Midnight had a favorite of all of them, and she made those be the only thing in Twilight’s mind while they were present. It hurt so much, the guilt was so much to bear, and when it inevitably got to be too much...
Twilight wept as Midnight taunted her, absentmindedly rubbing her scarred wrists together through the hems of her sleeves, suddenly lost in the pit of despair yet again.
Until...
“Twilight Sparkle.”
She opened her eyes to see Rarity standing right in front of her, her hands firmly planted on her own shoulders. She bore holes right into Twilight’s eyes with her own and chose her words with great care and precision.
“You're my friend. One of my best friends. In fact, I daresay that aside from Fluttershy, Sunset, and Coco, you are my best friend. You are here out of the goodness of your heart in order to assist me with something of great importance to myself. If to make you more comfortable I need to wear three sweaters and a trench coat, I will do it. I know that it can't be easy for you to love who you love while being around six attractive girls with very few physical boundaries for a large majority of most of your days. I understand this and will do whatever is in my power to make your environment conducive to your happiness.
“I don't want you to feel guilty about being who you are, because that more than any amount of gawking is what will upset me most. Men have drooled over me for years now, said horrible and nasty things, and only cared about my cup size and getting into my pants. You’re different, Twi. You don't stare at me, even when you think I’m not looking. You don't make lewd comments. You don't do anything out of sorts. You go out of your way not to make me feel like a walking pair of breasts, and that says more about your character than anything else.
“You respect me for who I am, and you support me through my dreams, and you would drop an entire evening of studying at a moment’s notice for a friend. I appreciate you so much, Twilight. I hate to see you beating yourself up over feelings that you can't control.” Rarity pulled Twilight in and embraced her, holding tightly enough that they could feel each others’ pulse. “And besides that,” she said, pulling away. “I actually quite like the confidence boost that comes from you looking at me the way you do, so it really doesn't bother me at all. But I can tell that it bothers you.”
Rarity picked the blouse back up from the bed and slipped it back on, buttoning it up as she spoke. “Besides, your focus would be better spent on my computer’s hardware, not on mine, wouldn't you agree?”
Twilight laughed through the tears that continued, but no longer from sadness. “It's the software we’re working with,” she said before sniffling and taking her glasses off to wipe her eyes. “But that was a good one...” she readjusted her spectacles and hesitantly stepped forward. “I'm sorry for being dramatic.”
Rarity hugged her again. “No apology necessary darling,” she placated. “I'm the one who should apologize for being careless. So let's just both agree that nobody is at fault so we can get on with the blog, okay?”
Twilight nodded in the crook of Rarity’s neck. “Okay.” and with that she pulled away.
“You're welcome to remove your own sweater, though, if you'd like.”
The improved mood evaporated instantaneously.
“It's cold with the window opened.” Twilight quickly interjected, putting her hands deeper into their sleeves. “Or at least at a lower temperature than is comfortable to not wear it.”
“Should I close the window again then?”
Twilight shook her head. “Not for my sake if you also don't want to. Let's just... get to it so I don't cause any more...” she flapped her hands around a bit, unable to find the proper word. “Problems.”
Rarity pursed her lips, crossing her arms and analyzing Twilight’s body language. “I won't press the matter further. I appreciate you doing this for me so I’ll leave it be, because I know that if there was something serious going on then you would let us all know.” She stepped forward and kissed Twilight on the forehead before turning around and turning on the computer.
Her heart froze for a moment before almost having a palpitation catching up. ‘Breathe, Twilight. It was only a platonic display of heartfelt concern and affection, calm down.’ Her eyes glanced down and quickly back up.
‘Does her skirt have to be so short...’
“Alright, it's booting up,” Rarity said, lurching Twilight out of her reverie. “I'll let you sit down while I go borrow a chair from the dining room.” and with that, she left.
Twilight pulled her sleeves down, glancing at the pink ribbons. Glaring at them. ‘Stupid things.’ She quickly hid them again, so as to avoid having a THIRD emotional heart-to-heart with Rarity that would only end up causing a big huge rift. It isn't even a problem, she double and triple checked her research on where to cut so as not to cause any permanent lasting damage to any arteries or tendons or anything. It was something that would surely just go away given enough time. Midnight couldn't torment her forever.
...could she?
Twilight sat down at the desk and cracked her knuckles. Now wasn't the time for worrying about what may or may not happen somewhere down the line. Now was the time for helping Rarity.
By now the borderline ancient computer had finished warming up and was ready. Rarity really needed an upgrade; luckily she knew a technical wizard. Twilight logged in, password ‘Cestmagnifique’, and beheld a photograph of the seven friends from Camp Everfree holding up their newfound geodes. The sight reminded Twilight she was still holding her purse and bag, so she gripped her necklace and carefully levitated her bag over to the bed, but left her purse on the floor.
Twilight scanned the screen looking for an icon for a web browser but found none. She furrowed her brow and sighed before clicking the start menu. And then promptly wanted to throw up.
“This is the worst thing I've ever seen in my entire life.”
There was nothing but folders labeled various bits of gibberish organized in seemingly random order. Twilight removed her glasses to pinch the bridge of her nose. She moused over to the box labeled “My Computer” and decided to do it the old-fashioned way. She went into the C drive and clicked around, finally finding a web browser. Begrudgingly she made a shortcut and a little blue E appeared on the desktop. She double clicked it and waited for it to load.
Rarity had returned with the chair and a bag of reduced-sodium gluten-free pretzel sticks by the time it was finished opening. She offered it to Twilight who merely shook her hand and turning back to the screen. What popped up killed what little appetite she had left anyways.
“... Rarity... why do you have seven different toolbars installed?”
Rarity’s response was simply crunching and a confused shrug. Twilight sighed.
This was going to be a long day.
Luckily after cleaning up the workspace and ensuring that the browser worked properly (and a lecture about not clicking every single thing that says “install me!”), the pair were able to get into Rarity’s account, create the new blog, and completely tailor it- no pun intended- to their needs. Twilight walked Rarity through everything: uploading the designs, linking to the website she used to the process sales, changing the colors and theme of the blog itself, and even a little bit of beginner’s coding. Unfortunately it seemed like that last bit didn’t really stick, but it didn’t have to since Rarity seemed to have learned pretty much everything else.
They had of course taken a break or two during the several-hours-long endeavor. The cake had gotten demolished, as had the pretzels, and they had also picked from a bag of trail mix: Rarity took the nuts and Twilight took the fruit. By the end, Rarity’s blog was complete, and the sun had begun setting. They had decided on the url “sleek-chic-cest-magnifique”, and as Twilight hit ‘save’ one last time, she leaned back in the chair and finally breathed a long sigh of relaxation.
“Thank you so much, Twilight!” Rarity cried, giving her friend a hug. “It looks absolutely gorgeous! I’m sure to rake in sales with this beauty!”
Twilight returned the eager embrace, glad to have made her happy. “It’s no problem at all, Rarity,” she said, glancing at the completed web page. It did indeed look great. “I had fun doing it, and hanging out with you today.”
They were interrupted by Twilight’s cell phone buzzing. The duo separated so Twilight could dig in the purse at her feet: notepad, palm pilot, wallet, flash drive, tampons, half empty pack of gum, the unused condom Rainbow had put in there as a joke years ago that Twilight didn’t want to get rid of, pack of tissues, another flash drive, the knife that had never been opened once, makeup bag, glasses case... finally she found the device at the very bottom for some reason. Flipping it open, she read the message aloud.
“We aren’t going to make it home tonight. Flight got delayed, ugh, frowny face emoticon. Will be home tomorrow though. You can order pizza if you’d like. See you soon, love you.” she snapped the phone closed. “Well, mom and dad won’t be home, so it looks like I’ve got an empty house to look forward to.”
“Would you like to stay the night?” Rarity inquired. “It wouldn’t be any trouble.”
“No,” Twilight replied. “I have to take Spike out, but I appreciate the offer.”
Rarity nodded. “Well that’s unfortunate, but I understand.”
They sat in companionable silence for a minute before Twilight turned to go back to the home page on the computer. The link she clicked instead brought her to a list of urls. There was the one they had just made at the bottom of the short list. The next one was titled “rare-indeed” with a subheading that read “palettes and designs”, and a third one titled “theiofthe-beholder”, and its subheading was... interesting, to say the least.
“I’m going to use the restroom, darling. I’ll be right back.”
Twilight barely registered her saying this as she was busy rereading the subheading wondering at how that just can’t possibly be right. After a moment she noticed that the room was empty, and fully processed what had been said. Her eyes were pulled back towards this mysterious chronologically first blog, one that Rarity had never said anything about in her long years of using this website.
“The Pure Beauty of the Female Form: 18+”
Curiosity killed the cat, they say.
"What's this?"
-click-
"...oh."
Author's Note
I hit writer's block on dusk's dawn and then again on stupid girl and then again on milkshake and then finally I plowed through another palate cleanse (this) and now I think I'm ready to complete the last chapter of dusk's dawn (two segments) and then back to stupid girl (since it's more popular). This story takes place in the same chronology as stupid girl (all my equestria girls fics are roughly in the same continuity) but it isn't recommended reading, and it's about a year and a half or so into the future.
The Dark and Sex tags come into play next chapter. Twilight is 18 I guess; no explicit sexual activity occurs since I hang a lampshade over the scenes where it does happen but it's still technically kinda nsfw and I wanna avoid making the mods unhappy. Also, I'm not providing a link for the cover art :P
TFW You Find Your Crush's Nudes
TFW You Find Your Crush's Nudes
Rarity entered her bedroom to find Twilight staring intently at the screen, jaw practically on the floor. Her heart seized: ‘I’ve been found out! Play it cool, Rarity, a lady keeps her composure.’
“Did I miss anything?”
“GAH!” Twilight cried, hand flying violently off the mouse and sending it flying. Quickly her other hand smashed the Alt and F4 keys, and she prayed to every deity she knew that Rarity didn’t know how to check her browser history. Quickly the gears began to turn and churn in her head for a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why she reacted so violently.
Rarity, meanwhile, was recovering from the near heart attack she endured when the mouse came flying directly at her face. Luckily she didn’t use a wireless mouse, so she was spared what could possibly have been a broken nose. She gripped her chest above her left breast, feeling the suddenly rapid beat come slowing down as she breathed, and tried to come up with a good reason as to why she had... that kind of blog.
The two simply stared at each other for a moment before they heard someone clear their throat through the door. The pair turned to face...
“Scootaloo?” Twilight asked incredulously. There before them stood one of the ‘little sisters’ of the group alongside Rarity and Applejack’s siblings, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom, respectively. The only thing shocking Twilight more than the fact that she was here in Rarity’s house right now was what she was wearing: a hoodie, boyshorts, and socks. That seemed to be it.
“Hey Twilight,” she responded groggily. “So, uh. Sweetie Belle still isn't feeling well. She's asleep. We both were. Can you try not to yell anymore please?”
Rarity nodded. “Of course, darling: it won't happen again. Wait-” she cried as Scootaloo turned to walk back away. “I'll make some more tea and chicken soup in the morning, so you don't have to do anything. Just... keep her company, please: she feels better when she's with you.”
Scootaloo nodded, muttered “Thanks, Rare,” and walked off.
Twilight’s confusion about Scootaloo’s presence, attire, and attitude dissipated and was replaced by concern for the apparently sick child in the next room over. Well, teenager: the adolescents had grown so much in the time that Twilight knew of them.
“Is your sister okay?” she asked.
“She's just feeling a bit under the weather right now,” Rarity assuaged. “Nothing serious.”
Twilight nodded, glad the more pertinent issue was not anything to worry about, but that still left the matter of the displaced girl in a house that she didn't belong to wearing clothes that were most certainly inappropriate for the setting.
“Why is Scootaloo here?” she asked in less of an interrogative and in more of an ‘am-I-missing-something?’ way.
“Darling, Scootaloo has been living here with my family and I for several years now,” she explained. “We try not to make it public knowledge.”
“Okay...” well that answers one question. “So why is she wearing... that?”
“They.” came Rarity’s blunt reply.
Twilight blinked. “What?”
“Sorry, that was... harsher than I intended it to be. I'm just so used to doing that. Scootaloo prefers to be addressed as they or them rather than by she or her.” Rarity sat down on the bed before continuing, watching as Twilight put her hand over her mouth in thought. “The clothes are a personal choice that I wouldn't be caught dead in unless I was living alone or with a paramour, but those are simply pajamas.”
“Okay, so... They. Got it.” Twilight picked up her purse and walked over to the bed and sat down next to Rarity. “I'm aware that some people use nontraditional pronouns, I just didn't know that Scootaloo did as well. But I'm still confused. Where does she- do they- sleep?”
“Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle sleep in the same bed,” Rarity explained. “We don't have enough rooms in the house for Scootaloo to have their own bedroom but the two are very close and don't particularly care sleeping together.” She shrugged. “Fluttershy and I are the same way. So are Rainbow Dash and Applejack. It's nothing weird or perverse or anything like that. That's just how they've been for as long as Scootaloo has lived with us.”
Twilight nodded, starting to understand the situation. “I know that it's normal for a lot of girls to sleep together even in a state of undress but for purely platonic purposes,” she adjusted her purse and felt her cheeks color. “I just don't think that I could do that myself, considering...”
Rarity bit her lip, then placed a comforting hand on Twilight’s shoulder. “It's a personal choice, darling, and nobody expects you to do or not do anything that you aren't comfortable with.”
“I know,” she said, nodding and giving a half smile. “And I appreciate that.”
The two looked at each other for a moment before both of their thoughts snapped back to what caused Scootaloo to emerge in the first place. The blog. They both turned to the computer screen.
Rarity cleared her throat. “Are you staying for supper? I'm probably going to be making myself a salad but we have other things as well. I know you have a dog and a pizza waiting for you at home.”
Twilight stood. “No, I should go soon, otherwise Spike will whine my ears off about unethical animal treatment or something. Thanks for offering though.”
Rarity nodded. “Go ahead and gather your things, then,” she said. “I don't want to keep my wittwe Spikey-wikey waiting for too long... Thank you again for coming to assist me.”
“It was my pleasure,” Twilight responded with a hug. “I had fun. Just let me know if you need any other help with any of your... blogs.”
‘Oh no, why did I say it like that???’
‘Oh no, she really does know!!!’
“Of course; I know that I can always count on you. And I'll take care of the cake pan and return it to Pinkie.”
Twilight nodded. “Thanks.”
Both girls deathly afraid of bringing up the topic they didn't know that the other was stressing out about, they went back to Rarity’s car and headed to Twilight’s house, exchanging no more than small talk. Externally nothing was different, but inside they both had a terrible feeling that the other was silently judging the for being perverted.
Eventually Rarity pulled into Twilight’s driveway, and the two hugged before bidding farewells and separating. Twilight waved from the front door before closing it and hearing Rarity drive away. After taking Spike outside (“Finally!”) and ordering the pizza (soy cheese with garden veggie) she went into her dimly lit bedroom, clapping twice to activate the lights. She placed her purse and bag on her bed before collapsing on it herself.
A lot of thoughts raced through her mind, none really standing out more so than any other except for ‘Go look.’
She turned her head to her computer, sitting there on her desk so insidiously. She looked back up to her miniature planetarium. She looked to the left at her bean bag reading chair and closet. She looked forward at her door and academic awards. She looked to the right at the telescope and many bookshelves. Each time her sight returned to the computer.
“I don't want to,” she said as she stood up and walked over to it.
“Yes we do...”
“This is wrong,” Twilight muttered as she pressed the power button and waited for it to boot up.
“Only if we get caught...”
Twilight violently shook her head trying to dislodge the unwanted thoughts but they stayed, ever present, as she felt her fingers type in her passcode, a complicated string of letters and numbers put together algorithmically using a program of her own design.
“Please don't make me do this...” she whimpered, clicking the web browser.
”You know as much as I do that you want this just as much as me, my dear.”
She clicked the address bar and typed in the URL she was looking for. “theiofthe-beholder”, a simple enough sounding phrase. Nothing insidious about that, right? Nothing to betray the contents hidden inside. There wasn't anything really bad, per se. But something that could cause something bad...
Pressing enter, a photograph popped up on the screen. It was one she had seen twice before that day, of the woman in lingerie. The one on Rarity’s phone earlier, then on her computer, and now on Twilight’s computer.
“Why can't we just ignore it?” she pleaded. “I can't do this, it's an invasion of privacy!”
No reply came, but Twilight found herself scrolling. After a moment she felt her heart slow down, and then rapidly speed up. After another moment she felt another hand on top of her own, forcing her to continue turning the mouse wheel. An orchid gloved slender fingered hand that refused to budge no matter how much her own arm struggled.
“Ssshhh...” Midnight muttered, reaching her other hand around to stroke Twilight’s hair. “It’s just a little more...”
Twilight couldn't move her head to get the cold fingers away. It wasn't really happening in real life, not on the observable plane of existence. Her hair wasn't actually moving, but the sensation still existed. She wanted to throw up.
Another woman in lingerie. Another woman with her breasts visible. Another woman looking seductively over her shoulder as her posterior was facing the camera. Another gripping her breast, putting her fingers on either side of the piercing on the nipple. Another woman in lingerie. Two women kissing while groping each other.
“Please stop...”
Finally her finger did stop... exactly where she didn't want it to.
“Sunset sure does look more beautiful without her clothes, doesn't she!?” Midnight cackled before removing her hands and walking away. Twilight didn't turn to look as there was no point. Even when she couldn't see Midnight anymore, she always know that it was there. Watching, waiting, constantly on the hunt for the next time she was emotionally compromised.
Her wrists burned.
Sunset Shimmer was in the computer right now. She was laying on her side on her bed, illuminated by the sun’s rays. One arm was outstretched, holding the phone that had presumably taken the photograph. The other hand was resting on her abdomen between her chest and stomach. Her legs were crossed in just such a way that her pubic hair was showing, which is relevant because she was completely nude.
Twilight blushed furiously, and felt her pulse quicken, her toes curl, and her stomach turn. She didn't feel sick, no; this was a turn of arousal, pure and simple. She felt another part of her body twitch, one that hadn’t seen any use before. Not by anybody else.
Sunset was was grinning, her eyes half-lidded, and her hair was just freshly washed, conditioned, and brushed, falling around her face, framing it perfectly. Her hips curved nicely, and Twilight imagined how it would feel to grip them. How it would feel to kiss her, not just on her lips, but everywhere else too. Her jaw, her collarbones, her breasts, her stomach, her inner thighs...
She swallowed, feeling her hands furl up her skirt.
“I'm sorry...” she whispered, slipping one of her hands inside.
/x/x/x/
“Darkness!” Rainbow yelled, wrist moving so fast it blurred. “Imprisoning me! All that I see! Absolute horror! I cannot live! I cannot die! Trapped in myself! Body my holding cell!”
She, Sunset, Applejack, and Pinkie were finishing off their practice session with a cover song that Rainbow was interested in trying. There weren't any keyboard parts so she had picked the day that Rarity wouldn't be there in order to see if the other girls would be interested.
Everybody sans Fluttershy had really liked the idea, which was good since there was no tambourine part either. She was in the next room surveying the recording equipment, ensuring that Rainbow and the others would be able to go back and listen afterwards. She didn't particularly care for how loud and scary the second half of this song was, but she really enjoyed how pretty the first half had been.
The next two minutes consisted of Rainbow and Sunset’s hands and Applejack’s fingers moving near constantly, and through the soundproof glass of the school’s music room she could tell that they were all having a great time. She smiled to herself. She loved that she could still help them do something even if it was something she herself had no desire to partake in.
When the song finally completed, the girls just stopped, standing still for a moment. They were all panting heavily. After this passed Rainbow let out a whoop before slipping the guitar from around her shoulders, and walked towards the amplifier to unplug it. The others followed suit and Fluttershy took this as her cue to open the door and turn off the microphone.
“My entire hand hurts,” Sunset complained, wincing as she rubbed at her sore wrists. “But that was pretty fun.”
“‘Course it's fun,” Applejack replied with a hearty pat to the back. “Now do y'all see why Rain and I love this music?”
“What?” Sunset asked, ears ringing.
“Hey Pinkie!” Rainbow shouted, placing her guitar on the stand. “You did great, but you gotta mind those sixteenth note triplets. I was hearing thirty-second notes instead at one part but honestly I like that more.”
“Creative license!” She yelled back before chugging an entire water bottle. Pinkie’s hair was tied back in the frizziest ponytail in all the world, and her tank top was practically soaked. When the bottle was empty she shoved the drumsticks in her hair before undoing all the pieces of the set.
“You girls look like you sounded great,” Fluttershy offered, passing out more water. “I just hope I did the recording right.”
“You always do,” Rainbow said before thanking her and chugging half her own bottle before pouring the rest on her face. Her hair was tied in a messy bun, and her sports bra was slightly less wet than Pinkie’s top. Well, from sweat. She began to roll her shoulders. “AJ, on point as always. And Sunset, nice job on the second solo. When we get the wah pedal backorder through, I'm sure you'll do wonders with it.”
After the girls put their guitars away, they helped Pinkie with the rest of the drums, and then took care of the amplifiers and recording equipment. By the time everything was put fully away the sun had set, and the girls all put jackets on before heading to the parking lot.
“Man, I hate the time change,” Rainbow complained. “It makes it so dark at night.”
“Maybe if you went to bed at a reasonable hour then y’all'd appreciate seein’ the sun earlier in the morning for those of who actually have things we need to do then.”
Rainbow narrowed her eyes before flipping off Applejack. She in turn offered one of her own, prompting Rainbow to bring up her other hand for a second one. Applejack then flashed a second bird of her own before both girls dissolved in a fit of laughter.
“I just hate how gradually cold it gets,” Sunset interjected, putting her hood up. “Back home in Equestria it was just boom, suddenly winter. It didn't help we have fur over there either... or heat magic.”
“Yeah,” Pinkie said in between mouthfuls of a cupcake nobody had seen her holding earlier. “I mean, I never feel cold anymore because of my thermo-thingamawhatsits, but I remember when winters were terrible cuz I've got bad circulation, like Twilight.”
“Oh!” Sunset cried. “That reminds me...” she dug in her purse for her phone and typed out a quick message to Twilight. “We are done. We’ll talk tomorrow. Hope you had fun with Rarity. Send. Alright, cool. You okay with taking us all home, Applejack?”
She merely shrugged. “If y’all are okay riding in it. Heater ain't the best but it beats walkin’.”
“Shotgun!” yelled both Pinkie and Rainbow simultaneously. They immediately launched into a match of rock paper scissors: both threw rock, then both threw paper, then rainbow did rock as pinkie did paper. She cheered as Rainbow put her face in her hands.
“Every time...” she groaned, before climbing up into the back seat.
Sunset was halfway up into her own seat before she stopped.
“Need help, sugarcube?” Applejack asked.
“N... no...” Sunset pulled herself all the way up before putting her hand on her stomach. “It just feels like someone shoved an ice cube... up there.”
“Yeesh,” Rainbow muttered. “You feeling okay?”
“I'm fine, it passed. But is that normal for humans?”
The girls all shrugged.
“Well one of my ex boyfriends shoved one up there one time and it felt super amazing-”
“PINKIE, NO!”
/x/x/x/
Twilight sat panting, staring up at the ceiling, eyes still unfocused. Her underwear sat at her ankles, wet. She blinked, and the projected stars came together. The feeling had passed, the afterglow gone. Now she just felt cold.
She sat back up in her chair, feeling the unpleasant squelch of sweat underneath her thighs. She looked down at her legs, at her sticky fingers, and cursed at herself. She slipped one foot out and slowly brought herself to a standing position, using her elbows to keep balance on the desk.
Twilight glanced around the room before sighing and removing her skirt. She wiped the fluid on her hands as best as she could before wiping a dry bit on the chair. She reached down to pick up the panties and bunched them up inside the skirt before stepping over to an empty laundry hamper and plopping them in.
After a brief glance at the computer screen, she stormed over to it and made as if to hit alt f4, but paused. Sunset’s smile made her feel sick. Dirty. Twilight instead clicked minimize and then put it to sleep before pulling off her jumper. She tossed it on her bed before removing her own shirt and bra, glaring at the glitter that fell to the floor.
“Great, I'll have to vacuum again...”
She tossed the remaining clothes in the basket before brushing off the remaining bits of shiny little synthetic plastic, or as much as she could get off. Some still stayed, especially after the earlier activity, and she clenched her fists. She took a deep breath and released it before striding to her closet.
Opening it up, she grabbed her fluffy lavender bathrobe and wrapped it around herself. She turned to the dresser and pulled open a shelf, picking out a pair of pajamas to wear. A flannel button-up top and a fuzzy pair of sweatpants. She closed the drawer and opened up another, pulling out a different pair of panties and a roll of fuzzy socks.
She stepped back over to the bed and laid the articles down before casting one last glare at the computer.
Suddenly her phone buzzed. She dug into the purse and luckily didn't have to spend as much time as she did earlier finding it. However, what she saw made her drop it immediately back in.
“Sunny<3
Twilight took a step back and put her hands over her mouth, then on her temples.
“She knows, she knows, she knows, she knows, why did I do this, I'm so stupid...” she pulled her glasses off and tossed them haphazardly on the bed before putting her palms over her eyes and cursing again.
She heard scratching on her bedroom door and a small voice. “Hey, Twilight?”
She sniffed. “I'm fine, Spike.”
“...no you're not.”
She stormed to the door and put her hand on the knob. She took a deep, steadying breath and pulled it open.
“I'm fine.”
Spike stepped forward and nuzzled her calf. “You know that I can smell feelings, right?” he reminded her. “You're upset about something and... well, I don't wanna talk about that other thing that just happened. But please, just... be careful. I'm here if you need me.”
She bend down and picked him up, hugging him against her chest. He licked her cheek twice before nuzzling the crook of her neck.
“I know,” she whispered.
The moment was interrupted by the doorbell. Spike barked twice before looking at Twilight and grinning sheepishly.
“Sorry... force of habit...”
Twilight put Spike back on the floor before turning to pick her wallet out of her purse, thumbing to the credit card in her parents’ names. She then headed down the stairs to the front door, tying her robe as she walked. She’d tip with money, thank you very much.
She opened the door and beheld a familiar face.
“That's one large garden veg- oh, hey Twilight! Didn't know you lived here.”
She nodded. “Flash Sentry, hello.” That was his name, right?
His eyes traveled down to her bare legs for just a moment before he cleared his throat and looked back into her eyes. “So yeah, garden veggie with soy cheese, brings you to ten eighty five. How've you been?”
Twilight handed him the card before pulling the robe tighter around her body. “I've been... okay.”
He swiped the card in his scanner before he bit his lip. “So uh...” he sniffed the air and then his face grew a little redder. “Got company over?”
Twilight put her palm on her forehead. Of course. “Nope. It's, uh... just me.” Awkward. “Alone. By myself.” Nobody else he could see, at least.
Flash gave back the card before handing over the pizza box with a receipt on top. “How's the, um... other Twilight?”
Twilight shrugged, filling out a generous tip. She wasn't paying for it, after all. And Flash was a nice enough guy, she just didn't really... gel well with him. Didn't help that he was in love with what was essentially her clone. But since the bus crash he had been in constant need of a pick-me-up.
“Flash Flash.”
“No.”
“Haven't seen her in a while. Sunset would know.” A pang of guilt racked her stomach.
Flash glanced at the receipt then did a double take. “I'll ask her later then... thanks Twi.” He grinned at her. “See ya around. You should order more pizzas.”
Twilight nodded, giving the ghost of a friendly smile in return, but failing to make it reach her eyes. She slid the door shut with her foot, not seeing him turn back to see if she was still watching him. But she knew he did anyway.
She walked into the kitchen before setting the box on the counter. She wasn't hungry but she opened it anyway. They never cut the soy cheese pizzas themselves, which was her biggest pet peeve about the chain because...
“Aww, it's so sweet that you know when I’m going to pay you a visit.”
Twilight opened the silverware drawer and dug around for the round pizza slicer. The various knives glinted at her. Ignoring them, she eventually found what she was looking for, and removed the decorative orange plastic safety bit.
“Let's have some fun.”
“You had enough fun earlier today,” Twilight replied. “Or did you already forget mind raping my best friend?”
“Don't act like you didn't enjoy it, baby.”
Twilight huffed, and began cutting. Twelfths, so it would last longer, and also so the individual pieces would be more satisfying.
“Only as far as sexual pleasure goes, but there are plenty of other girls out there.”
“Maybe so, but you don't love any of them. You're too much of a coward to pursue any of them. The only one you can see and talk to and hold and feel every day is her... that makes it so much more delicious to see her naked body sprawled across that bed, in that picture you were never meant to see...”
Twilight looked over her shoulder at Midnight, leaning cockily against the wall. She licked her lips as Twilight rolled her eyes and finished the last cut.
“You can influence me to explore my sexuality but you have no power over me-”
Before she could even take a breath to finish her sentence, Midnight shoved Twilight into the counter. She grabbed Twilight's hand and forced it around the pizza cutter, and held it against her throat. With the other hand she stroked Twilight’s hair, cold fingers sending wave after wave of deathly chills down her back.
“IS THAT SO?” she snarled, pressing the blade into Twilight’s skin. “Well, correct me if I’m wrong, my dear, but I seem to have immense power over you. Unless, of course, you WANT to slice your own neck open.”
Spike started barking.
“How tragic that would be. How horrifying for your parents to come home to. How sad for your dog to watch, wondering why you turned red and grew colder and colder, and then stopped moving. How sad for your friends to know that they never got a chance to say goodbye, to always wonder if it was their fault, to have to attend your funeral. What do you think Sunset will say at your eulogy?”
“Please let me go!” she cried, trying feebly to move her other arm anywhere but pinned under her chest, useless. “Don't hurt me, I'm sorry!”
Suddenly the pressure was gone, and Twilight pulled herself up, throwing the cutter across the room, smashing into a utensil basket and scattering its contents on the floor. She fell to the floor on her knees, coughing, sobbing. Spike came running up and began licking her hand. She pulled him in and started stroking his fur.
“You're stronger than her...”
Twilight merely shook her head no. She wiped away the tears with the back of one hand before feeling her throat. Her fingers came away with red dots. Spike licked them away.
“Have you learned not to argue with me, pig?”
Twilight nodded.
“Good... now about that eulogy. I actually doubt if she'd come when she realizes you not only purposefully sought out her personal, private nude photos, but... you masturbated to them? Disgusting. You can't even blame me for that one, that one was all you.”
Twilight didn't respond, she just sat and wept.
“Enjoy your pizza.” and with that, Midnight turned and walked away.
/x/x/x/
Author's Note
This is like, literally the only time in my years long history of fic writing where I've done a full chapter in a day, or less than a month. I decided to take this in a darker direction than I had originally intended to because of Midnight. It wrote itself straight until 3am, basically, and I was just along for the ride. I've slipped in references to other fics I'll write eventually, and In fact I may or may not have spoiled a side plot of Dusk's Dawn. No big deal. Enjoy the suffering :D
TFW You Find Your Crush's Nudes
TFW You Reach Your Last Resort
/x/x/x/
When Twilight stood back up with Spike, she looked over at the clock. She’d cried with him for twenty seven minutes, give or take a few seconds. That was the worst that Midnight had ever been.
She glanced at the mess, at the spatulas and wooden spoons and whisks littering the kitchen floor. Not a mess she wanted to clean up right now. All she wanted was to sit in the shower for a while, alone with her thoughts. Hopefully alone.
“Are you gonna be okay?” he asked, between licks to her throat.
“...yeah.” she croaked, raw from sobbing, before setting him down on the floor. “No chewing on the utensils.”
“Yeah, yeah...” he muttered, padding off into the living room.
Twilight closed the pizza box and walked it over to the oven, sliding it onto the pizza stone on one of the grilles. She looked down to her feet at the pizza cutter, which was red along the edges, and not just from tomato sauce. She bit her lip before reaching down to the tool, and glanced at her reflection. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, her glasses askew, and the scratch on her neck was still dripping slightly. Luckily it wasn’t enough to stain her robe.
Still, after dropping the cutter into the sink, swearing to clean it off later, she pulled out a few paper towels and pressed them under her chin, holding them in place as she slipped out of her robe. She crossed the fabric over one arm and her free hand pressed into the paper before she headed back to the stairs.
Twilight wouldn’t exactly call herself a naturist, but the lifestyle had definitely been a passing curiosity in her younger years. And not just because of seeing naked girls closer to her own age rather than to her mother’s. She would never go to a resort or participate in social nudity, and in fact even dreaded changing in public locker rooms even when alone, but if she was alone and in private, she didn’t mind shedding her clothes, provided the temperature was befitting. She did avoid windows, however; she was no exhibitionist.
‘Not like Sunset...’
“Shut up...” she whispered to her traitorous mind before moving up the steps on her way back to her bedroom. After dipping in and setting the robe down on her mattress, she dug her cell phone out of her purse to see that she had two text messages.
“Rainbow
“Sunny<3
“...Sunset what the fuck...” Twilight whispered to herself, her cheeks coloring as she thought of Sunset’s vagina.
‘I’d stick more than an ice cube up there.’
“No,” she muttered as she slid right on Rainbow’s message. “Hey,” she began. “I’m about to go take a shower but I can listen to it when I come out.” Her thumb hesitated over the ‘send’ key before she continued. “But when I do can I also ask you a potentially weird lesbian related question? Send.”
She went back to her other messages and clicked on Sunset’s text. She analyzed the prior ‘We are done’ message with a critical eye. Maybe she just meant they were done with band practice. She was a psychic but she wasn’t omniscient. With how short and blunt her replies were compared to how she normally typed, it seemed that she was upset, but either she was no longer upset anymore or she was never upset and it was merely cold. That was probably it.
“I’m not sure if it’s bad per se. You are a horse after all. As long as it isn’t burning and there is no discharge it should be fine. Sometimes vaginas are just weird. Send.”
‘Interesting how she felt cold down there right after you flicked the bean. Coincidence?
“Ugh,” she groaned before striding to her desk and pulling open the second drawer down. Her phone buzzed. She pulled out the pill bottle and popped one into her hand and dry swallowing it.
‘I thought you hated feeling like a zombie.’
“Be quiet,” she ordered before putting the bottle away and walking back to her bed, sitting down next to her purse and flipping her phone back open. Rainbow had responded.
‘Cool. And yeah, sure, I’m always down for those ;)’
Twilight rolled her eyes and chuckled before tapping out her reply. “Have you ever accidentally found your crush’s nudes? Send.” And with that she grabbed her clothes and headed to the bathroom just around the corner from her bedroom door.
It was a nice bathroom if a bit small. Basic white tile floor, basic light brown walls, basic toilet, but really nice pearl handled faucet for a sink inlaid into a dark marble counter, and the shower took up the far wall. The showerhead was removable which was... strictly for cleanliness purposes. Yeah. There was no curtain, simply sliding frosted glass doors.
She set her clothes down on the seat before reaching in and turning on the water. First she turned the cold knob to max, then flipped from the lower spout to the upper head, and then she turned the hot water to max. After waiting for a moment she gave the cold water half a turn down before reaching her hand under the stream. Once it got to be lukewarm she set her glasses on the sink counter, removed the ties from her hair, and stepped in under the water.
After a minute of letting it beat down on her skin, she reached over and bumped the cold down slightly more, raising the temperature by a few degrees, and ran her hair under the stream. The warmth spread from her scalp down the back of her neck and through the rest of her body, out to each extremity. She breathed a sigh of relief as she felt her muscles relax, letting the stress of the day melt away. Her brain still worried, of course, as it always did, but her back and shoulders were now about as carefree as Pinkie Pie on her best days.
She reached over to her shampoo bottle, ‘midnight rose’ scented, and squeezed out a fair amount into her palm. She took a step forward and began lathering up her scalp, gently rubbing her nails into the skin underneath the hair. As she did so she turned around and let the water rain down on her chest and stomach before maneuvering her hands to her occiputal region underneath the main bulk of her hair.
Her mind brought her back to her first date with Rainbow Dash a few years ago. It certainly had not ended well, being coated in milkshake from some jerk who had a problem with the two girls being in a relationship. Rainbow had to scrub at her hair for several minutes washing away all the milk, cream, and sugar. In a way she was glad it happened, though, as the experience had brought them closer together as friends, even if their romantic exploits didn’t last.
She rinsed her hair of the soap before grabbing the conditioner and massaging it into the wet strands hanging down to her mid-back.
Twilight smiled as she remembered the good times she’d had with her first girlfriend. The smile faded as her memories came closer to their breakup. It was certainly mutually amicable, but still bittersweet nonetheless. They had decided that it was better to just be platonic. “Les’ be friends” Rainbow had joked. Their friendship was strong, and despite having a set of very different if not polar opposite interests, their bond was worth too much to throw away trying to force each other to love the other in more than a platonic sense.
Twilight stepped back and placed her foot on the raised ledge of the bathtub half of the shower. She rain her hand up and down her shin. There was barely any stubble, so she decided to put off shaving her legs for one more day.
While it was true that Pinkie liked girls, she also liked guys as well, and in fact preferred them. Applejack and Rarity were definitely straight, Fluttershy sought platonic life partners rather than datemates, and Sunset... well, she probably liked horses. Regardless, Rainbow was the only one of her close friends who was strictly homosexual and so could really understand such a core tenet of her personality. That was why it wasn’t really weird or embarrassing to talk to Rainbow about her sexuality, since Rainbow was the same way.
Twilight squeezed out a dollop of hair removal lotion, split it evenly between her hands, and began to apply it to her underarms. Once completed she rinsed her hands of the foul smelling solution and rested her wrists on top of her head, mentally counting down the seconds before the exact amount of time it took to work.
At first, Rainbow was mildly uncomfortable with the prospect of talking about that kind of thing, but soon she realized that it wasn’t really discomfort with the act of discussing their sexuality, but the unfamiliarity of finally having a sapphic friend who understood what it was like to find girls significantly prettier than most ‘normal’ ie straight girls would. Once past that roadblock, however, it became so much easier to just be able to sit around and talk freely about her attractions without constantly glancing up to make sure she didn’t say too much and make her conversational partner feel uncomfortable by the mentioning of the alien emotions.
Twilight didn’t have that specific problem, however. Rainbow had had friends to talk to about things, just not about gay things. Twilight just never had anyone to talk to who wasn’t family or her baker’s dozen of therapists she’d had over the course of her life. Friendship in general was a new thing for her, so luckily the individual problems were nothing compared to the big picture. The anxiety she felt when discussing her sexuality was the exact same as what she felt the first time she was invited to Pinkie’s house for a sleepover, or went shopping at the mall with Rarity, or volunteered with Fluttershy at the animal shelter. After the first few times she did those things, she just shrugged off the panic, and for a time everything was going swimmingly.
The correct amount of time had passed, and so Twilight stepped back under the water, washing away the lotion and the tiny bits of underarm hair that had started to poke through her skin, leaving it smooth as silk. She then followed up by washing the conditioner out of her hair and combing through the long strands with her fingers, briefly losing herself in the stim.
She wouldn’t say that Rainbow was the only friend she shared a common bond with. But she was the only one she shared two distinctly separate ones with. Though they had different “tiers” as one might say, they were both still very much autistic. Perhaps that was part of why they were so easily able to talk to each other about abstract concepts like lesbianism? She didn’t think too much about theories like that, though. It was simply a different methodology of processing information. But regardless, she wouldn’t say that Rainbow was either her best or her closest friend, but she certainly wasn’t at the bottom of either list. Not by a long shot.
Twilight grabbed her washcloth and squeezed her shower gel into it, lavender lemon scented, then took a bit of brown sugar infused body scrub and mixed it in. She turned around and stepped forward out of the water for a moment before she began applying the mixture to her skin. She began rubbing on her upper stomach as an anchor point before going in other directions. Between and under her breasts, down both arms, down both legs, then turning around and getting her back. The soles of her feet came next, then her underarms, and then lastly her pubic region. Once she was satisfied that every square inch of her body was clean, she hung the washcloth over the bar and removed the showerhead, rinsing everything.
And no, she didn’t pay any ‘special attention’ to any specific parts. This time.
Once finished, she turned the cold water down slightly more than it already had been, and elected to stand in the now-steaming water for a few minutes.
If she devoted any amount of time and thought into it, Twilight would probably end up saying that her closest friend was Sunset, and that her best friend was Rarity. Sure, Fluttershy was an absolute joy to be around, Applejack was probably the most dependable person in the world, Pinkie was pretty much the glue that held the seven together, and Rainbow was her easiest, most effortless, and probably strongest friendship, but Sunset was the only one who could understand the dark magic that possessed her and what it was like being an outcast shunned by all, and Rarity was just... the best.
She could sit and talk to Rarity for hours if they had the time. She could confide in Rarity all of the things that nobody else in the group would hear, whether because it was sappy or too personal or just beyond the scope of understanding of. She could be as physically affectionate with Rarity as she wanted to, and it would never make her uncomfortable or falsely come off as anything other than pure and chaste. She could ask a hundred questions about fashion and social etiquette and all the things that couldn’t be learned in books and never once be called or even feel annoying. In fact, all the soap she had used in the past few minutes, all the makeup she was now comfortable with wearing, and pretty much every single article of clothing she owned and would leave her home in was selected by and bought with Rarity.
Rarity was the only girl, the only person outside of her family, that Twilight was perfectly comfortable with saying she loved with all her heart.
Only occasionally would she feel a little bit upset that Rarity was heterosexual, but that would always pass quickly since there was no sense getting upset that somebody’s preferences didn’t include someone of her gender. Creator knew that she had more than enough experience being on the receiving end of those feelings, and she didn’t want to put anyone else through that. And besides, considering her past with Rainbow, it was probably best that there were no mutual romantic feelings present after all. One day Twilight would find someone who felt the same way about her that she did about them.
A pang of sadness hit her as she thought this. Though the medication had kicked in and blocked the unwanted voice at the back of her head, she had grown so accustomed to it that she knew it would have reminded her of her huge crush on Sunset. She gently lowered herself to the shower floor, putting her knees in her chest and letting the water beat down on her back. It was unavoidable to have ended up getting emotional, as it always happens. Eventually her mind always dragged her thoughts back to the forever-unattainable Sunset Shimmer. Except now she had the added guilt of having done... what she did.
“That’s right, my dear,” Midnight said, perched on the toilet back and to Twilight’s right. “You did something bad, and this is your punishment. It’s a good thing you cleaned yourself up before realizing that. We wouldn’t want to go back to skipping showers, now would we?” She cackled from her roost as Twilight hid her head between her legs, waiting for her to leave.
“Oh, don’t be so morose. Are you still upset about earlier? Fine, I’ll set out some concealer so you don’t get questioned when you go into school tomorrow.” Through the frosted glass, if Twilight were looking up she would see the faint outline of Midnight pulling open a drawer, rifling through one of the makeup bags, and setting a bottle of lavender makeup on the counter.
“There you go, Princess Pouty-pants. Don’t say I never did anything for you. You’re welcome, by the way, not that you would be courteous enough to thank me for going out of my way to help spare you some shame and humiliation. But then again, you are being uncharacteristically nice by not whining and griping about how it was all my fault that I made you cut your throat in the first place, because you’re the one who upset me first by saying I don’t have any power. So I suppose I’ll take your silence as thanks enough. Do finish up soon, though, I surmise you only have seven more minutes of hot water left. Ta ta!”
And with that, Midnight opened the bathroom door, left, and closed it behind her. The hot, stinging tears running down Twilight’s face made the shower’s water feel ice cold in comparison. She turned her eyes up to look at her wrists. The crossed cuts taunted her. She could vividly remember each individual one, the days when she made them, the way she lost her sense of self control more and more easily each and every time. It was now to the point that her left hand had grabbed the razor without her even noticing.
“Please don’t...” she whispered as her hands undid the cage holding the blades in place. It was a cheap and shoddy design, a product that had been taken off of the store shelves on account of it was far too easy to fall apart, so one she had had to order off of the internet from across the ocean. It’s not accurate to say that she was controlling her own body at the time. The razor came apart in her hands, and the strips of metal glinted at her.
“Stop...” Her free hand reached over and grabbed one of the blades by her fingertips, tilting it back and forth. This one was brand new out of the box. “Don’t do this today, please just let me go...” To no avail, her hands continued to move of their own accord. It was like inside of her brain, she was frantically pressing all of the buttons on the control panel, but nothing was going through and it just kept going; like watching a horror movie and trying to press pause because it’s right at the worst part but the remote’s batteries chose that exact moment to pop out.
Helplessly, Twilight sat and watched as she placed one edge of the blade on the skin of her wrist. She’d made the same cut on the other side just a few days ago, so she knew exactly where to go and what to do and how it would feel and how much blood would come out and how long it would trickle down for. Her hand applied pressure, digging the blade under the skin, until it broke the elasticity and penetrated.
“FUCK!” she felt herself cry, as the pain shot up her arm. A droplet popped out and slid down, slowly, stopping at her cubital fossa. “Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it” she continued to mutter as she drug the blade across, widening the cut and releasing more blood. Rivulets of crimson continued to pump out, staining her arm red. It continued to sting.
Her hand took that moment to stop, and she set the blade down next to the rest of them. It rested on her knee and she sat watching herself bleed until the water suddenly turned to ice. She sat for a minute more until her teeth began chattering, and her body began to shake, and she reached back to turn the water off. She continued to sit, shivering, until the blood stopped flowing, and began to dry. It would be easier to clean that way.
After that, she finally regained control of her motor functions.
Twilight stood up, pulling herself up with her good arm, until she was fully stood up. She grabbed her washcloth and stepped over to sit by the faucet. She turned the bath on very slightly, hot water all the way maxed. She ran the washcloth underneath it, wetting it again, and cursed the fact that it was still cold. She then rubbed gently on the stains up until a few inches below the cut itself. The high off of the endorphins was starting, but it was severely muted from how often it happened, and didn’t even feel good anymore. She just felt tired.
Once all the bulky bits were washed out, she ran the cloth under the water until there was no more red in the runoff after she squeezed it. Once satisfied it was completely clean, Twilight hung it back on the bar before stepping out onto the bath mat. She was mostly air dried now, and very cold, but she welcomed it. The general feeling of misery and dull pain was enough to distract her from the concentrated stabbing heat in her arm. Her heartbeat made it begin to throb, and she winced each time.
Twilight stepped over to the sink and put on her glasses. She pulled open one of the drawers for the often-used first aid kit, the nearly empty bottle of hydrogen peroxide, and the last few cotton swabs. She started the micro-scale cleanup, being sure to use as much of the peroxide as she had left to ensure that no infection would happen. She had to clear a day in her schedule to secretly go buy some more everything for the next time that this would happen, because she knew that it wasn’t the last time.
Not by a long shot.
After several minutes of cleaning up, Twilight eventually got as much of the blood as she was going to get off of her wrist. She shook the bottle to get a sense for how much was left. About half a shot’s worth.
“No.”
This time her hands obeyed her, and she screwed the lid back on, setting it carefully back in its home. She tossed the empty box of the swabs in the garbage bin and opened up the first aid kit. She pulled out several bandages and put them over the cut, then wrapped the long gauze pad over, keeping light but not too light pressure on it. She secured the adhesive in place before putting the kit away. With a glance to her clothes she analyzed that it would be hard to put them all back on one-handed, so she merely grabbed them and walked to her room without them on.
Twilight haphazardly tossed the clothing onto her bed before picking up her phone and carefully crawling over to rest her head on the pillows. She flipped it open to see she now had four texts.
“Rainbow
“Sunny<3
“Rarity<3
“Pinkie
Despite her earlier activity, Twilight still had a small smile on her face. Even if she had this problem for another year, or several, or even for the rest of her life, she knew she always was welcome with her friends.
Well...
“Until they find out about your perversion...” Midnight whispered from the chair before the computer.
Twilight ignored her as she tapped out replies. “Of course you would have colon P, but what about if you, for example, saw someone you had a crush on naked in the locker room or something. And it’s nobody in particular, I’m just curious is all. Send.”
“Liar.”
“I would hope you don’t have any of those. I’m not sure how they would affect you since your blood type is different. And same, LMAO. But I’m glad you’re not hurting anymore. I missed you all too, and Rainbow told me what happened today. I’m a little sad I missed out, but I had a lot of fun with Rarity. Send.”
“Oh yes, you sure did. And then you came home and had a lot more fun...”
“That’s such exciting news. I’m glad I could be of service. What kinds of orders did you get and how much are you going to make off of it. And you’re very welcome, just let me know if you need any more maintenance work done on any of your blogs. Send.”
“I bet you’d like to do maintenance on one blog in particular.”
“You can stop that at any time, you know. That would be really cool, Pinkie. I would love to do that with you girls. Every party you throw is a fun one. Send. What are you even doing over there?”
“Oh, nothing... just looking at the other pictures of Sunset on here.
Twilight dropped her phone directly onto her face.
“THE WHAT!?” she cried, sitting up and looking over at the computer, seeing nothing but her desktop background and a cruelly simpering Midnight.
“My oh my,” she chuckled. “I didn’t think that would work. You really are a dirty girl after all.
The only response Twilight could muster was a glare, which only made Midnight’s laughter stronger.
“Although I do wonder if there are any others...” Midnight gripped the mouse and clicked on the window, bringing it up to full screen. There was Sunset again; still smiling, still beautiful, and still naked.
Twilight’s eyes widened.
“Oh, don’t look so shocked. I’m a being of pure magical energy, I can do whatever I want.” She began scrolling, and Twilight couldn’t help but step over and watch the screen. She was more fascinated by the fact that Midnight was able to do this. There was a little bit of fear, yes, but the scientific curiosity was currently winning over, and she let it.
There were more of the same types of photographs. A nude woman sunbathing on a beach. One woman kissing another on the inner thigh. A woman in lingerie. A woman’s buttocks on a bed. A nude woman with a lotus flower covering her vagina. A woman’s stomach covered in hickeys. Another woman in lingerie. A familiar-looking buttocks with a familiar-looking tattoo wearing a lacy scarlet thong and matching garter belt.
“...for the record I did not plan this.” Midnight whispered as she turned to face Twilight’s blushing face. “But this is glorious, wouldn’t you agree?”
Well. She wasn’t wrong.
Twilight’s mouth fell open as she felt her stomach turn again. She’d seen Sunset’s butt in a bikini before. But this? Hot. As. Fuck. Twilight bit her lip as she realized her eyes weren’t moving at all, nor did they have any desire to. Subconsciously she began slowly rubbing her thighs together, and her good hand rested gently on her lower stomach.
“I’ll just leave you two alone then... heh...” Midnight stood up and walked over to the bed, putting her hands behind her head and making herself right at home.
Twilight took her place and sat in front of the computer screen.
“Maybe it’s not her...” she muttered, hand crawling lower on her body. Her middle finger was resting on the top of her pubic hair. “Maybe it’s just another girl with a similar mark?”
She snapped her hand to the mouse.
“It might not actually be her, right?” No response. She scrolled back up to the earlier picture of maybe not but probably Sunset, and studied her face. If it wasn’t actually Sunset, maybe it was her twin sister, or clone, or...
Wait, that’s it!
Twilight had no idea why Rarity’s blog lead to this one but she thought she had an idea as to why there were nude photos of her closest friend on it. Because this wasn’t her closest friend at all! Surely this must have been the other Sunset, the one who was in this world first, right? After all, when the other Twilight came through the portal, she herself was already there. Maybe the same thing happened here? Maybe this was just some random stranger who happened to look exactly like someone she knew?
Twilight also noticed a mark on the bottom of the photograph. There was a little picture of a sunset next to a pound key, possibly this ‘hashtag’ phenomenon that Pinkie and Rainbow had talked about many times. She clicked it, and the page turned white before showing the picture again, but this time she could see both the first nude photo and the garter belt photo on the same screen. She was about to scroll down but hesitated.
Even if this was the other Sunset, they still looked exactly alike. Looking at pictures of this Sunset may not have been the exact same as seeing pictures of the Sunset that she knew, but she still knew what the Sunset she knew looked like naked because she now knew what this Sunset looked like naked. To put it in perspective, if the other Twilight had come into this world and had nude photographs taken of herself for whatever reason and had them posted on the internet, her own social life would be doomed because everybody would know what she looked like naked as well, and that prospect was a nightmare and a half.
It was this thought that lead her to move the mouse to the X box at the top right of the screen, but she still hesitated before clicking.
Then again, if this really was the Sunset she knew, she seemed to have been fully aware that the pictures were being taken, even taking the first one herself. Would it really have been a violation of her privacy then if she made these photographs and presumably gave people permission to upload them to the computer? And if it wasn’t the Sunset she knew, and it was the other one, Sunset honestly probably wouldn’t even care that people knew what she looked like naked. She was a horse from a society where clothing was optional. In fact, Twilight vaguely recalled a rumor from when Sunset was still new to this world where she accidentally streaked across campus.
Would she actually care? The problem wasn’t that Twilight didn’t want to see Sunset naked, because she always had. The problem was that she didn’t want Sunset to be disgusted or feel betrayed or embarrassed by any of this. But thinking about it a little more, would Sunset really be any of those things by knowing that Twilight saw nude photographs of her?
Sunset was really open about her body with Twilight just earlier, talking about phantom icy pains in her vagina. Twilight would probably have an anxiety attack if she talked about her own vagina to anybody, except for maybe Rarity, Rainbow, or Sunset herself, but even then under only the most extreme dire circumstances.
Twilight knew that Rarity, Fluttershy, and even Pinkie Pie occasionally shared personal photos with each other seeking body positivity, since they were all... well, not really that sexually into girls. Applejack didn’t participate on account of her very conservative sensibilities and Rainbow didn’t participate because she had confidence enough in her own body but not really any confidence in complimenting her friends’ nude forms without putting her foot so far in her mouth she’d have bite marks on her knees since the only word she was really comfortable using was ‘sexy’.
Twilight would have participated in that kind of thing if she, well, was okay with showing her body to anybody else, and if she wouldn’t have crippling guilt spirals over seeing them nude as well. Judging by her reaction to seeing Sunset earlier, it was probably for the best that she was never asked, and that she herself never asked either.
But since they were okay with it, and Sunset wasn’t into girls (or, at least, human girls; she did once drunkenly admit to having sex with Starlight Glimmer in her pony form one time), who’s to say that she didn’t privately join in their ring? She probably did, and utilizing Occam’s Razor, either she did and was fully ready and willing to consent to having these photographs on the internet for all to see, or she isn’t the one in these photographs in the first place and wouldn’t care.
“You are very good at rationalizing your perversion.”
Twilight grit her teeth, and then realized she was staring at Sunset’s boobs the entire time she was thinking. Not that she blamed herself, they were really nice, probably Cs if she were eyeballing them. Which she was. Electing to ignore Midnight and not let her feel any worse than she was already, she bit the bullet and scrolled.
It was another picture of Sunset, but this time it was multiple photos. The first one was of her in a crop tank top and panties, the second was of her removing them, and the third was of a small teddy bear covering her vagina while her legs were spread. She scrolled again. It was another picture of Sunset, wearing nothing but a bra and underwear, in the midst of either removing or putting on a shirt. She scrolled again. It was another picture of Sunset, this one focused on her collarbones and jawline.
She scrolled again, and her heart stopped. Sunset was on her knees facing the camera, legs spread slightly. She had a hair tie in her mouth, and her hands were putting her beautiful scarlet and cadmium yellow hair into a very messy bun. She was grinning, and her eyes were playful, childlike, innocent, and in stark contrast to her stark nudity.
“...oh my.”
With her arms up, her breasts were more taut and perky than they were in the first photograph. They were also a hell of a lot cuter since her nipples were a lot smaller and pointier. But that’s not where Twilight’s eyes were drawn.
“...fuck...”
Seeing movement on her left, she turned to see Midnight holding out her... phallic vibrating personal pleasure device. Which had been locked away in a shoebox in a safe in her closet underneath several blankets. And unused. And empty of batteries.
“Don’t worry...” Midnight snickered as she turned it on. “I took care of the batteries.”
Twilight hesitantly reached out for the device. It was definitely real, and it was definitely vibrating. She turned to the photograph on the computer screen again, and made a split second decision she would come to later regret. She slowly brought the device down, and began to masturbate for the second time that day.
/x/x/x/
Rarity finished typing out the final sentence on her seventh new order of the night. Her blog had surged in popularity and now she was set on work for the next month and a half. Over four thousand dollars would be finding its way into her pocket for merely spending one and a half hours a day for the next forty two days sewing and stitching.
She pressed enter, leaned back, and sighed.
“Business before pleasure...” she breathed to herself. Glancing over at her bedroom door to ensure that it was locked, she moved her chair back slightly, stood up, and began to remove her clothing. She placed a clean towel on her chair before sitting back down and clicking a few times to a little secret that nobody except for maybe Twilight knew.
She paused for a moment. Twilight was a lesbian after all and surely wouldn’t judge her at all for this, right?
The webpage fully loaded, revealing her pride and joy, the reason why she even made any blog in the first place. Back when she was just thirteen years old and realized that she was actually bisexual, as liking both boys AND girls, she started a secret hidden blog to collect photographs of women that she found attractive. At first it was just pretty girls, celebrities in beautiful dresses (dresses that would inspire her choices in career), girls chastely kissing other girls, and famous people who were just like her. But then as she got older and started becoming actually sexually active, her blog started to become more racy and adult-oriented and truly NSFW.
She had no idea how the website worked behind the scenes, but she knew the basics. She knew how to post things, like things, share things, how to click a button to change the wallpaper to pink and blue with a tiny bit of lavender. And she knew how to make the photographs into a randomized slideshow. A very sexy one at that.
And that was all she needed.
After getting everything set up, she reached into the bottom drawer in her desk for a lockbox with a four digit passcode she would never tell anybody for as long as she was alive. Inside was a set of fake male genitalia and a gag. She put the ball into her mouth and the faux penis on the towel before slowly lowering herself down on it, and she began pleasuring herself to the many photos of pretty, pretty girls.
And nobody was any the wiser.
/x/x/x/
Sunset had just laid down to go to sleep when her vagina felt like it had an ice cube inside of it for the second time in a few hours. She then cursed the heavens, Princess Celestia, and Starswirl the Bearded.
/x/x/x/
Author's Note
I have a bad habit of writing entire chapters of this fic in one sitting at three in the morning. It ends up being different than I wanted it to be. Oh well. Hope you guys enjoy the update. Better Nate than lever.
TFW You Find Your Crush's Nudes
TFW You Just Can't Catch a Break
/x/x/x/
“‘Sup, Rares?”
Rarity glanced up from her phone to face the new arrival to the table occupied only by herself. A warm smile crossed her face as she placed the device down.
“Rainbow, hello,” she greeted, nodding slightly. “You're a bit early, which is a good thing. We don't really have much time to chat between ourselves nowadays.”
Rainbow plopped her tray down, whose contents garnered a sour look from the more sophisticated of the pair. “Yeah,” she responded. “We should def hang out more. Practice was different without you yesterday.”
“Terribly sorry about that,” Rarity volleyed, still giving the questionable-looking sandwich an odd look. “Opportunity was knocking, and you know me and how I must answer the door!”
Rainbow nodded before lifting the bun to reveal the... chicken? Shrugging, she started tearing open ketchup packets. “No biggie, we did a song I've been meaning to do. No keyboard part. Not even a bass part, really. And you know, speaking of answering the door, that reminds me...” she plopped the bread on top of the crimson sludge before cracking her knuckles. “Any reason why Twilight didn't stay?”
Rarity cocked an eyebrow. “I'm curious as to how you came across this information, but yes, her parents were delayed. Nobody was home to look after the dog so I took her home.”
“Ah.” Rainbow nodded firmly before taking a bite of her... ‘food’. She continued, chewing as she spoke. “We got pizza last night. Flash came, said he delivered to her too. So I figured that unless the Princess came over and pretended to be our own resident geek for the night, she didn't stay the night with you.” She finally swallowed after she was done speaking.
“Astute.” Rarity grimaced. “I have no idea how you can bear to eat that... gruel.”
With a first in the air, Rainbow exclaimed, “By the almighty power of ketchup!” She tore open the box of chocolate milk and took a swig. “Also, skipping breakfast doesn't hurt things much. It's not that bad if you're hungry.”
“I... suppose your way makes sense to you, Rainbow. Though it's not a path I’d like to walk.”
“Yeah yeah, eat your granola bars. How’s the squirt?”
“They’re well,” Rarity sighed. “Sweetie’s still sick.”
“That's a shame, hope she gets better soon.” Nom. “How was your blog thing?”
Rarity grinned and her eyes lit up as she reached back to her phone. “Absolutely terrific!” She exclaimed, tapping away furiously. “Twilight really outdid herself. Here, look!”
Rainbow’s eyebrows were indecisive as to whether they should furl together or attempt to climb her forehead while she puzzled over what it was she was looking at. There were just pictures of dresses with prices next to them like any other shopping app, with text involving lots of seamstress jargon the athlete didn't even try to ascribe meaning to.
“It looks like every other shopping app I’ve seen,” she swallowed and took a breath before taking another bite and continuing. “I mean it's cool that it looks all professional and stuff, but I figured she could at least do that in the first place. But it works so hey, good for you.”
Rarity pocketed the phone before turning to face the cafeteria line. She picked out Fluttershy and Sunset near the front, and Pinkie and Applejack near the middle. Twilight was nowhere to be seen. She turned back to Rainbow and watched her take one final bite of her sandwich.
“You at least make much bank?”
Rarity nodded. “Nearly a dozen orders so far since yesterday evening. At this rate I’ll have to start putting an extended backlog and a waiting list. I’m sure to earn enough to pay off my car in no time at all!” She put her hands together as a gleam caught in her eye. “Perhaps soon enough I’ll splurge and get front row seats for the upcoming Coloratura concert!”
“Sweet.” Rainbow swallowed her meal before beginning to snack on her fries. “I don't really like her much, but if she was someone like Megadeth I’d be hella excited.”
Rarity’s eyebrows arched. “Mega death?” She asked, visions of church burnings, goat skulls, bloody crucifixions, upside down pentagrams, and various other forms of sacrilege ran through her head.
“Yeah. You know, Pinkie likes Coloratura and Slipknot. Maybe if I can get her into them or like Killswitch Engage, Drowning Pool, Bullet for my Valentine, Five Finger Death Punch, I’ll go ahead and give a listen to Rara and Songbird and those other pop stars you both listen to. Hey, what's up Fluttershy? Sunset?”
Rarity was feeling queasy by the terrifying names Rainbow had listed off. Killing, drowning, bullets, death and punching... absolutely horrid. But hey, whatever Rainbow liked, she liked. Regardless, that conversation was thankfully over by the new arrivals to the table; Fluttershy sat by her oldest friend as Sunset took a seat next to the budding fashionista.
“Hello girls,” she nodded, eyeing their salads with respect.
“Hi Rarity,” Fluttershy greeted with a warm smile that only grew as Rainbow set an arm around her shoulder. “Hi Dashie.”
Sunset merely nodded at the two before leaning in close to Rarity. “Can we talk privately before next class?” She muttered.
“I was actually going to ask you the same thing,” she responded in the same tone. “So of course; can we chat in the restroom? I’ll need to stop by there anyway.”
“Yeah, that's fine. It's about Twilight and I’d prefer if she not overhear us.”
“Oh, that's interesting,” Rarity said as she raised an eyebrow. “I needed to talk about her as well. I'm very worried about her.”
“Me too.”
“Whispering sweet nothings?” Rainbow chimed in, before draining her milk. “I ship it.”
The girls glared at her as she began laughing at their expressions. They glanced at each other and then quickly away, blushing furiously for the same reason. Rainbow was only teasing but she hit dangerously close to home.
“Stop trying to turn everyone gay, Rainbow,” Fluttershy gently scolded, but with a smile on her face. “Aren't you and Twilight enough?”
“Nope.” Rainbow grinned as she carried her tray to a garbage can. “I'm gonna hang with Pinkie and AJ in the line for a bit, plus I’m still hungry anyway. Be right back!”
Sunset had returned to her meal by then, already having forgotten the brief embarrassment and exchanging light conversation with Fluttershy. Rarity, however, was still dwelling on what Rainbow said. Sunset was nice and all, and definitely very cute, but not only was she a horse anyway, she wasn't the person that Rarity really wanted. No, that honor belonged to-
“Is Twilight okay?” Fluttershy asked, disrupting that train of thought.
Sunset froze, forkful of lettuce halfway to her mouth. She slipped her gaze to Rarity and back before leaning up and finishing the bite. Chewing slowly, she frantically began putting together a believable explanation that wouldn’t spark any anxiety. Luckily before her brain exploded, Rarity chimed in.
“So you heard our little conversation?” She asked. “I forgot that you have sensitive hearing, especially the day after your attacks.”
Fluttershy nodded. “I'm just worried is all. She's not in any danger, is she?”
“Oh no,” Rarity assuaged. “No danger at all. It's more of a personal issue than anything else, just something that concerns the three of us. A private matter, I’m sure you understand.”
“Oh yes, I do.” She took a small bite of her salad before putting another forkful into her bulky yellow backpack. “I must just be being paranoid right now. But something seems wrong with her, like she’s just... always scared. She spaces out a lot, too. I hope that whatever this is is just a little thing.”
“I'm sure that it is,” Rarity affirmed. “But it involves matters that the three of us wish to keep quiet. I’ll explain what directly concerns me afterwards if it helps settle your own anxieties.”
“Yeah, it’s nothing big, but it is important and I also REALLY need to use the restroom so we can talk about it there.” Sunset was speaking quickly and had apparently already finished her own food in the short time since Rarity had looked. Sunset’s face looked grim, which unsettled Rarity’s stomach.
“Of course,” she replied, keeping her own face neutral and impassive. “We’ll be right back, darling.”
Fluttershy nodded. “I'll see you two in a minute then.”
Sunset walked quickly over to bin her trash and snap turned to the hallway. Rarity picked up her own pace, worry building with every one of Sunset’s quick, resolute strides. Once they were around the corner, Sunset slowed considerably and rested her hands on her knees.
“Sunset?” Rarity inquired. “Is Twilight actually in danger?”
“I don't know,” she answered. “But we shouldn't talk about it yet. It might concern the stuff that happened at the end of the Friendship Games.”
Rarity put her hand to her mouth. Not Midnight!
Before she could ask a follow up question, the pair found themselves interrupted.
“Rare?” asked a high pitched southern drawl.
She turned to face Applejack’s younger sister, Applebloom. Rarity could probably make a very accurate educated guess as to what she was going to ask about.
“They're fine,” she said, placing her hands on her hips. “Sweetie Belle is still sick but I made her tea and chicken soup this morning, and Scootaloo promised to make sure she drank it all.”
“Okay, good,” Applebloom said as she sighed in relief. “I miss ‘em. It ain't the same when they're gone, it just ain't.”
“I know that. And they miss you as well. I would by all means let you come over to visit them, but you know your grandmother’s immune system.”
The middle schooler sighed. “I know, I don't want her to get sick too, least not ‘cuz of me. But I’m glad to know they ain't worse.”
“No, no, in fact Sweetie is getting much better. She was able to talk a little this morning.”
“Really?” She cried, stars in her eyes. “That's great! Thanks for letting me know, Rarity, it really means a lot.”
“Of course,” she nodded in response. “Anyway I’d love to stay and chat but right now we,” motioning to the ever-patient Sunset, “Really have to use the bathroom, so I’ll take my leave.”
“Right, I won't keep y'all waiting. Bye Rarity, bye Sunset!” She turned and walked back into the cafeteria, a spring in her step.
Rarity sighed and turned to Sunset. “Let's go,” she intoned as the girls strode quickly to the girl’s bathroom.
Once inside, Sunset pulled her hair together in her hand and bent down to look under the stalls. They were all empty.
“Is everything all right?” Rarity asked after she got the thumbs up. “Midnight hasn't returned, has she?”
Sunset sighed. “I don't know.” She turned around and leaned against the wall, crossing her arms and legs. “Today in psychology I glanced over at her notebook. There was a little doodle of Midnight in one corner.”
“In her notes?”
Sunset nodded. “I thought that was weird in and of itself but, I mean, it's psychology. She hates soft science so that might explain that. But she was acting weird... Fluttershy said she looked scared. When I put my hand on her back, that's exactly the look her face made. Fear.”
Rarity made a fist and rested it over her mouth. “...but what could she have to be afraid of?”
“And that's another thing,” Sunset continued. “The reason I came to talk to you about this is because today Twilight told me that she was acting weird because she was cramping up, which is one thing, but also that she had a really emotional talk with you last night.”
“Well, she did,” Rarity said. “She mentioned that she was afraid we would feel uncomfortable if she looks at us while we’re... well...”
“While we’re what?”
Rarity took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. “Well, for lack of a better term, when she glances at us in a lustful manner.”
“Really?” Sunset asked, disbelief coloring her voice. “She thinks we’re gonna have a problem with her thinking that we’re hot?”
“That's what I picked up. That's part of what I wanted to talk to you about. I told her that was ridiculous and that she doesn't need to worry about that because she doesn't objectify us like straight guys would do. I also said that it's good for my own confidence and that it's okay for her to have the feelings she has for us.”
“Right... I mean, when we were all at the beach house, she was definitely ogling us out of the corner of her eyes, but I didn't feel weirded out about it, especially since Rainbow sometimes does the same thing. And I kinda get the confidence boost thing, that's why I took those pictures for you for your blog, and that's really worked to help me be okay with this body when I’m here. But does she really think we’ll judge her for her attractions?”
“I believe so... and...” Rarity bit her lip. “Well, about the blog...”
Sunset raised an eyebrow, stepping forward from the wall. “Yeah?”
Rarity wrung her hands together. “The other thing that I needed to talk to you about was... well, I think she may have seen it.”
“WHAT!?”
“I'm not entirely sure of it!” Rarity placated, taking Sunset’s balled fists into her own hands. “I only think that she might have!”
“I thought you said that nobody I know would ever see it! That the only people who would ever see it or say anything about it were complete strangers who didn't know anything about who I was!”
“I did say that!” Rarity cried. “But I was only out of the room for a moment, there wasn't nearly enough time for her to have seen any of the pictures of you if she even saw it in the first place!”
“Fuck, Rarity!” Sunset shouted as she tore out of her grip. “What if she did? What if she loses respect for me over this? I don't want to lose her friendship...”
“You won't! If anything she’d judge me over this, and if she feels guilty about looking at us with our clothes on, she’ll certainly feel a lot worse about herself than she would any of us. And I can delete them if you want me to.”
“Please do that!” Sunset pleaded, wrapping her arms around Rarity. “If we need to help her out with Midnight, I can’t worry about feeling violated. I don't want to resent her and drive her away... not to anypony else, not again.”
“It's okay, Sunset,” Rarity cooed as she stroked her back. “You've told me about what happened with your Celestia, remember? How your desire for power got in the way of the relationship you wanted with your mentor?”
“Yeah...” she sniffed, holding Rarity tighter. “I can't lose anypony else.”
“You won't lose Twilight,” Rarity promised. “This is a different situation. Back then you weren't thinking clearly, and pursued power for selfish purposes. But that isn't you anymore! Now, all you want to do is to keep your friendships where they are. You're a good person... a good pony. No matter what form you take, there is so much good in you.”
Sunset was openly sobbing by then, and deepened her hug. “Thank you, Rarity...”
“But of course. And Twilight is a good person too. She isn't going to judge either of us if she even saw your photographs in the first place. She saw me posting to it yesterday and thought I was just lingerie shopping, and I’m sure she’ll believe me if I tell her it's just for aesthetics if she even asks me about it in the first place. But she’s like Fluttershy when it comes to nude women, and I know it won't be a problem in the long run.”
“I sure hope not...” Sunset pulled away and wiped her eyes. “You promise you'll delete the pictures of me?”
“As soon as I get home today. Cross my heart and hope to fly,”
In unison, and while making the matching gesture, “Stick a cupcake in my eye.”
“I appreciate that, Rarity.”
“I'm a woman of my word. Now, do you have any ideas when it comes to this Midnight issue?”
Sunset nodded. “I have an outline of a plan, but I need to talk to a few friends first.”
“You mean-”
“Yup. Who better to talk about magic than the Princess of it, and her own faithful student?”
“You simply must tell me!” Rarity glanced to the nearest stall. “Hold on, I actually do need to use this room,” she said as she made her way inside.
“Okay, well, I figure I could see about taking our Twilight through the mirror under pretenses of hanging out with Starlight and her other self to get her out of this funk that she’s been in recently.”
“Good, I like it already. But how would you bring up magical studies?”
“I'm glad you asked!” Sunset cried, triumphantly smirking. “Now, you know Pinkie’s sister Maud? She’s one of Starlight’s best friends. She's also a geologist, one of the smartest ponies when it comes to rocks in all of Equestria. I figured that maybe she would be interested in seeing the geodes.”
“Oh, then when they discuss magical artifacts you would bring up the issue of Midnight?”
Sunset bit her lip. “Well, no. The last thing I wanna do is make our Twilight feel self-conscious. I'm not gonna bring that up directly. Instead, I’m gonna see if I can have Princess Twilight or even Starlight run a magic decontamination field. That way, if we do have a Midnight problem, we’ll have five of the strongest unicorns in Equestria, the Elements of Harmony, and a reformed scion of chaos on our side.”
“Ah... that certainly seems like good odds. But I’m confused. Who are the five unicorns? I'm only counting two, you and Starlight.”
Sunset facepalmed. “Right. Thanks, by the way. So yeah, there's me and Starlight, and I know the Princess is an alicorn but I count her as a unicorn because she’s a magic user, and there's Fizzlepop Berrytwist-”
Rarity burst out laughing as she flushed.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, we ponies sure have silly names. But she used to go by Tempest Shadow and she managed to overpower Celestia, Luna, and Cadance with a broken horn, and she almost got Twilight too. And there's also Star Swirl the Bearded, who’s only the greatest wizard in all of history. So yeah, if there is a Midnight problem, we’ll blast her out of Equestria and fix Twilight.”
Rarity now had a somber expression as she exited the stall and moved to wash her hands. “She got three Princesses... well, that's the last time that I judge someone based on their name. But I have a question, actually. Star Swirl the Bearded. Is he your dimension’s version of the Starswirl who discovered the atom?”
“Uh...” Sunset frantically ran her mind through all of the human history she could remember and drew a major blank. “I honestly couldn't tell you.”
Rarity hit the hand drier. “I don't blame you if you don't. It isn't like that's been instilled in you since kindergarten like it has for the rest of us. It's just a shame that history of science is a mandatory subject here because it means you don't get perfect marks like you deserve.”
She shrugged in response. “Nah, the only one who deserves perfect grades is Twilight. I could totally do better if I wanted to but on the other hoof- er, I mean, hand- I’d rather spend time with Fluttershy. Especially when Tree is over, if you know what I mean..”
“Oh my... well, I think I can agree with you. I don't know how I even touched the stuff back then, but I’m glad that you two enjoy it. Shall we return to the cafeteria?”
Sunset nodded. “Of course. I'm gonna talk to Twilight, and... then I'm gonna talk to Twilight.”
Rarity giggled as the two pushed their way out the door. “That’s never going to stop being confusing, is it?”
The response was muted by the door swinging closed, and the bathroom sat silent and for the most part unoccupied. Two thumps hit the ground, and the leftmost stall door slowly swung open.
Out stepped Twilight Sparkle, mascara running down her cheeks. She sniffled, before using the wad of toilet paper in her hand to wipe away the dark smudgy smears on her face as best as she could. She glared at the mirror, at the pitiful girl she saw through the reflective glass.
“They betrayed your trust...”
“...shut up.”
“I’m only pointing out the obvious. Sunny blabs about the private conversation you had with her, judges you on being jumpy, and pries into your business.”
Twilight glowered at the reflection of the demon in the mirror, unable to say anything in response. She was right, after all.
“And then Rarity runs her mouth about something you told her in confidence. Not that that’s even a big deal, because Sunny already knows that you stare at her when she’s wearing a bikini. And did you see her reaction when she thought you saw her pictures?”
“Rarity is worried about me!” Twilight snapped. “She just wants to make sure I’m okay!”
“What about Sunset?”
Twilight punched the sink with her good hand before hissing through her teeth, whining and cradling her now-bruising knuckles.
“You know I’m right, too... Especially now that you know it’s actually her. By the way, punching solid ceramic isn’t a good idea for mortals. Idiot.”
“What do you want!?” Twilight cried, facing the monster. “I already heard everything they said! I already feel like shit enough! I made her cry even though I love her, even though she already has enough problems as is! I understand her, and why she made those pictures, and...” She turned back and set her forehead on the wall, beginning to weep some more. “...and I betrayed her trust.”
Midnight strolled over and started stroking Twilight’s back as she cried. “It’s okay, she’s going to delete those pictures tonight, and then you’ll never have to worry about them again...” She let go and pulled herself up so she was sitting on the lip of the next sink over. “Well, as long as you never let her use her geode to read your mind and see what you did to them. But hey, you’ll be all good in the short term.”
Twilight’s eyes snapped open and she took a step back in shock. She didn’t even think about that until just now, now that Sunset talked about her plan. Which in and of itself involved a whole host of things she couldn’t think about yet. The next time Sunset used her geode for whatever reason and read her mind, she could see everything, if she was subconsciously fearing it. Only reason she didn’t piece together her secret was because there was no reason to think it was even a possibility. But this? This was a nightmare waiting to happen!
“Oh, come now, she doesn’t even like using that anymore. Only reason she’d bring it up would be going to see the Princess. It’s just unfortunate she’ll use false pretenses and lie about caring about you so she can drag you over and kill me.”
“If she didn’t care about me she wouldn’t try to get rid of you.”
“Are you really that naive?” Midnight taunted. “She just doesn’t want you to use me to hurt her or her real friends. You wonder why they all shy away from you. Why Pinkie Pie doesn’t hug you anymore. Why Rainbow dodges your messages. Why Sunset will only deal with you if there are countless powerful magic users in the vicinity. You remember what she told you about the lightning rod principle.”
Twilight thought back to one of Sunset’s many discussions of Equestrian magic. It was pretty much impossible to purge evil magic out of a host unless they had enough magical prowess in the first place to allow magic into the body through the horn. Pegasi and earth ponies allegedly didn’t have the problem as they didn’t use magic other than tapping into nature. But unicorns needed to channel the magic out of their horn, and if they weren’t strong enough and well versed in spells enough to allow for a controlled burst of magic...
“...I would explode.”
Midnight nodded. “Does it make sense now? She wants you gone.”
Twilight shook her head to either side. “No!” She adamantly stated. “That’s not true! She’s my friend and she doesn’t mean me any ill will.”
“Maybe not now. But imagine when she finds out you masturbated to her.”
Twilight said nothing, but ran her pained hand under the cold water. Midnight had a point. When faced with the possibility that she saw the photographs, she panicked and cried and pleaded with Rarity to delete them. She said she felt violated just knowing somebody looked at them, so if she learned somebody she knew had pleasured themself to them... that might be game over.
“But...” she muttered to herself. “If she read my mind she’d see all the things that you made me do...” she glanced around the bathroom to see that Midnight was gone. “She’d know about you. She’d know it was all your fault! She’d understand!”
...
Would she though?
Deciding to drop the subject for the time being, as the lunch period was nearly over, Twilight turned the tap off and flexed her fingers. She didn’t hit that hard, and they didn’t hurt very much. They just looked a lot worse than they felt, but only if you could tell it was there. Luckily the purple bruising blended in well with her skin. She’d just have to avoid rapping them on anything, which was fine as she was already avoiding bumping her wrist anyway. That pain was a lot more intense anyway.
The door opened and in walked a familiar face.
A monotone “Hello.” greeted Twilight as she gently waved at Pinkie Pie’s older sister.
Satisfied that the intellectually stimulating conversation was over, Maud merely nodded before walking to one of the stalls.
Twilight turned back to face the mirror. Her face was clear of black streaks, but her eyes were a bit red and puffy. Surely she could blame that on the period cramps she was most certainly not having this week. The problem then became how not to reveal her hand to Rarity and Sunset and hide the fact that she’d been eavesdropping, however unintentionally.
On one hand she could make something up about how she had to stop by some other teacher’s room to discuss homework, but she doubted they would buy that. Especially Applejack. No go, Twilight was a terrible liar. The second best plan would be to say that she had been in the bathroom the whole time, but was in the fetal position on the toilet crying- which was already true. But she could blame that on the cramps as well.
Since telling the truth about her whereabouts was the best course of action, the next step would be to figure out how she would have avoided overhearing her friends’ conversation. She glanced at her purse, silently praying to The Creator that she had earbuds today. Luckily she did, and with a sigh of relief, Twilight began quickly untangling them. Once they were fully straight, she stuck the jack into her phone and one bud into her ear. She wrapped the other one around the other ear, and turned her head to either side, analyzing through the mirror whether it looked natural.
Perfect. Now to decide on a song. She flipped open the phone and scrolled over to the music app. There really wasn’t much to choose from, just gothic piano ballads, symphonic metal, folk punk, lo-fi hip hop, baroque pop, and plenty of staples of classical music. If she were on her period and cramping up enough to cry, she would probably be listening to something gentle at a very loud volume, so her thumb lead the cursor into the piano folder.
Since it was about 30 minutes into the lunch period, she did some quick calculations with the time of each track and clicked on one that was a half hour into one of the albums listed. Oh, Hello! A favorite. With one look over herself, Twilight ensured that she looked pretty pathetic and in pain. Pulling the hood of Rainbow’s jacket over head to complete the grungy aesthetic, she turned and set off out of the bathroom.
Technically speaking, listening to music during the day was against school policy, as was wearing a hood indoors. But granted, as long as you did well academically and behaviorally, Celestia and Luna granted pardons to minor infractions when they happened in the halls outside of class, especially during free periods like lunch. A minor pang in the stomach reminded Twilight that she hadn’t eaten a proper meal in... a while. That didn’t matter, she would eat at Pinkie’s party after the day was over.
Wait... oh no! She’d have to go to Pinkie’s party with bruised knuckles and freshly scarred wrists. Well, hopefully she didn’t need to take the jacket off. Rainbow seemed pretty okay with her keeping it but there was always the possibility that she’d want it back. She’d cross that bridge when she came to it though, and worry about the now. The now was, of course, keeping a straight face as she lied to all of her friends.
Stepping into the cafeteria, she spotted them immediately. Rainbow was excitedly telling a story which kept Rarity’s rapt attention, Pinkie was draped over Applejack while wearing her hat, Sunset was sitting on the table with her legs on the chair, and Fluttershy was feeding whatever animal she had in her bag today. They seemed like such a complete unit... there wasn’t even anywhere to sit to be included in the rough circle they made! Losing confidence, she thought about just turning back around and hiding in the bathroom listening to sad music until the lunch hour was over.
Before she could do that, though, Pinkie made eye contact and began excitedly waving as the rest of the six turned to face her, smiles crossing all of their faces. Twilight mentally waved away all of the negativity and simply opted to sit with her friends. They’d make room for her.
“Twi Twi!” Pinkie cried. “I was worried we wouldn’t see you today for lunch!”
“You certainly had us worried when we came to see you were still gone,” Rarity added, moving in for a hug, which was returned in kind. “Where were you?”
“You’re never just gone,” Rainbow remarked. “Well, maybe the bathroom.”
“Nope,” Sunset denied, nodding. “Rarity and I were just there.”
“Really?” Twilight asked, feigning ignorance. “I was as well...” Keep it cool, Twilight.
“They went a while ago but came back a few minutes ago.” Fluttershy glanced between her best friend, her roommate, and Twilight. “Why didn’t you see each other?”
“I...” she gulped before glancing briefly at Applejack before turning her attention to the interrogators. The lights suddenly seemed brighter and she was overcome with the desire to remove her jacket. Her heartbeat increased in intensity as a single bead of sweat dripped down her forehead. “I was in one of the stalls, sitting with my knees up and listening to music while I was waiting for my painkillers to die down.” A brief moment of silence went around before she pulled the earbud out, now on a song that wasn’t exactly her favorite on the record.
Applejack’s eyes briefly narrowed before she shrugged and took a bite of her food, and Twilight felt her stress melt away as Rarity began speaking again.
“Well, that’s... certainly a coincidence.” She sounded thoroughly unconvinced.
“Yeah, it’s a small world.” Sunset believed it almost as much as Rarity did. Almost.
“It’s just a bathroom, guys,” Rainbow piped in. “We’ve all gotta use it. Especially when we’re bleeding more than on a Cannibal Corpse album cover.”
Rarity slammed a hand down on the table. “Do you listen to any bands whose names don’t have to do with death, blood, or eating people!?”
“...Sepultura?”
Rarity sighed and placed her head on the table.
“What?” Rainbow asked, glancing around the table. “You asked!”
Pinkie giggled. “Silly Dashie, that’s Spanish for ‘grave’!”
Rainbow slowly hid her face in her hands as the rest of the table began laughing at her monolinguistic faux pas. Twilight included.
They were unfortunately cut off by the bell signifying that lunch was over. The teenagers all said their goodbyes as they all began to walk their separate ways out of the cafeteria. Twilight didn’t mind not eating, though her stomach was quite angry at her for it. Instead, she was glad she managed to successfully convince at least some of her friends. It wasn’t the ones she wanted to convince but they wouldn’t push it. Besides, all she would have to do is feign surprise when Sunset eventually asked her to go to Equestria. Easy peasy!
“Wait, Twi Twi!”
She turned to face a pink blur that stopped just slightly shy of ramming into her at full speed. Willing her pulse to return to normal, Twilight blinked at her friend.
“Y... yes?” She squeaked out.
“You’re coming to the anniversary party after school, right?” Pinkie asked. “You don’t have to do anything or go anywhere or have any obligations after school or later tonight, right?”
“Of course, Pinkie,” she promised. “Yesterday was just a fluke because Rarity needed me, so today I’m all yours.”
“Woohoo!” Pinkie cheered before beginning to dance in place.
Twilight glanced nervously around at all the students giving her weird looks, and tried to block them out. “Hey, uh... Pinkie... people are starting to stare... please stop.”
“But I’m so happy!” She pouted. “Can we dance at the party?”
Twilight inaudibly sighed as her thoughts drifted to her wrists. Pinkie was typically a very energetic and grabby dancer. Twilight hoped that in the wake of Pinkie’s recent decrease in supplying close physical contact of any kind, this wouldn’t be a problem if the request to dance came in.
“Sure.”
“YEET!” Pinkie shouted, pumping her fists victoriously into the air. “Well, I’ll see you then. Remember, music room right after school ends, got it?”
Twilight nodded, lips pursed.
“Coolio, later gator!” And with that Pinkie skipped off down the hallway to her next class, art.
After just a few more moments, the hallway began to clear out, leaving Twilight alone with the lines of lockers. Sighing, she strode down the floor and dragged her fingers along the cool metal. It was a small comfort she awarded herself in her solitude, as she thought back to the bathroom.
“Playground school bell rings again...” she gently sang to herself, not particularly paying attention to how far she walked. She stepped through a T intersection and resumed the pitter-patter of the dance her hand played on the walls.
“Rain clouds come to play again...”
Twilight cursed the depressing song stuck in her head as she approached where she knew her own locker was. She was still entirely alone in the hall, almost as alone as she felt for the better part of the past few weeks. Or would it be the worse part?
“Has no one told you she's not breathing?”
The teen absentmindedly fiddled with the combination lock eleven from the gap, knowing it was hers without having to see it. The ocean waves of despair crashing around her, suffocating her, pressing in on her chest, all served to keep her unfocused on anything but the song.
“Hello...”
Through sheer muscle memory, Twilight got her door opened. She slipped her bag off the hook and over her shoulder and stared melancholically at the photographs on magnets within. Pictures of her with her friends, smiling and laughing. The echoes of those memories rang through her mind, but offered none of the warmth she could barely remember having felt before.
“I'm your mind...
She rested her fingers over one in particular. In frame was Pinkie, who had been in the process of taking a selfie that included the whole group. Rainbow and Applejack were yelling at the television, Rarity was braiding Fluttershy’s hair as Fluttershy was rubbing Winona’s belly, and Twilight herself was cuddling Sunset in her sleep on the couch.
Her body ached to feel her closest friend in her arms again.
“...giving you someone to talk to...”
But alas, it was not to be. Not again. Not anymore. Darkness began to envelop the locker’s contents as she closed it. The bell rang as she sighed again. She was going to be late for class. Shrugging, she made no effort to hurry back. Late was late... might as well take the scenic route.
She popped her earbud back in and clicked play.
/x/x/x/
Author's Note
Hi I'm back. I've been busy. Got fired, been job hunting. Got a girlfriend. Dealt with drama. Found out a friend of mine has been molesting his stepdaughter. Former friend now. Ate a strong hash brownie and then had a panic attack. Very very busy couple of months for me here. But! Better Nate than lever. ALSO I just watched all of the Equestria Girls specials and the legit Season 8 episodes that have been out so far and I've got very big plans for my fics. This one in particular. Sad and depressing plans, actually. As you can probably tell. I've been having issues of my own but that's neither here nor there. Point is, I'm back to writing (hopefully for a while), and so I just really hope that y'all like what I'm doing here, and I wanna thank everyone for their patience and support. It really means a lot to me, because I love doing this. So thank you <3 and in return, have some feels.
TFW You Find Your Crush's Nudes
TFW Your Teacher Gets On Your Ass
/x/x/x/
Dear Princess Twilight,
Turns out you were absolutely right about joining the yearbook committee! While it is a bit lonely in the classroom itself, I’ve been able to foster so many positive relationships with the same student body I used to keep locked down with an iron fist. There are still a few people who I still don't really get along with (certain Great and Powerful people come to mind), but I’m making a lot of progress.
Speaking of progress, I’m curious as to know how things are going with re-establishing trade routes with the dragons. When I was still living at home we were barely on speaking terms with them after what happened with Thunder Fang the seventh. But then again I could just ask you in person... which very well may have to happen very soon.
I've been concerned for this side’s Twilight. She’s been acting strange for a while now, and I fear that Midnight has returned. She’s lying about having menstrual cramps even though you and I both know that can't be the case, struggling with a guilt complex about physical attraction, and worst of all her grades are slipping in psych and who knows what other classes! I don't mean to pry and hover because I’m not her mother, but... I’m really worried about her.
I was hoping to know if we were able to come over to Equestria at some point soon. Surely a simple magic decontamination field can take care of the Midnight issue. I miss you and Starlight anyway so it wouldn't exactly be a lie to say that's the reason, right? And Twi definitely deserves to have a night out with friends. She hasn't hung out with any of us unless we ask her a favor, and even then she goes home before the end, using Spike as an excuse even though he can take care of himself! It just makes my heart hurt to see her so lonely.
I know you're probably busy, so I won't obsess over this for much longer. But whenever you have a bit of free time, setting up a girls’ night out might do all of us some good. I also kind of need to talk to you about that thing I can’t talk about through the book, so please just let me know when you can.
Your friend, Sunset Shimmer.
P.S. Also, how is Princess Celestia?
“Oh no...”
“What's up?” Asked a kite-flying unicorn. “Demons in the human world again?”
“...possibly.”
Starlight Glimmer turned her head from the windborne fabric to the princess of Friendship sitting on the park bench next to her. The alicorn bore a worried frown as she furiously scribbled an inked quill in the book.
“Seriously?” Starlight asked. “I swear, I thought things were bad here when it comes to evil monsters. I should know, I was one of them... is it a we-have-to-go-right-now emergency?”
Twilight Sparkle nodded. “Just a concern, nothing more,” she assuaged, before continuing. “The other me might be dealing with Midnight again.”
“Oh boy, that can't be good.”
“Hopefully it's nothing. We just have to run a quick magidecon and worst comes to worst we have the Elements.” Twilight signed the last of her reply with a flourish. “Sunburst told you how to lightningrod properly, right?”
“Yup.” Starlight returned her focus on the aerial activity. “Just let me know if and when you need me.”
“Would tonight work?”
The unicorn nodded. “I don't have anything going on. What would be the plan? Who's coming?”
Twilight stepped off of the bench and cracked her neck. “Well, Sunset is bringing Twilight, Applejack and Pinkie get off work soon, Fluttershy just has tea with Discord this afternoon, Rainbow’s only reading today, Rarity just finished some big orders, Ember doesn't really need to go back home until tomorrow, and I’m sure Trixie and Maud don't have many plans today.” She slid a sly look to her protege. “You know what that means?”
“... Mares night out?”
“Mares night out.”
Starlight grinned. “I’ll buy cupcakes... a baker’s dozen.”
/x/x/x/
Dear Sunset Shimmer,
See, what did I tell you? Princess Cadance knows popularity, whether you're a pony, a human, or any other creature. And don't worry, Trixie may be a bit brash and abrasive, but she is pretty nice once you get on her good side.
Ember has been very cooperative with me and Spike! As you know, when the mantle of Dragon Lord passed from Thunder Fang VII to Torch, Princess Celestia attempted to reach out to them, but unfortunately things didn't go well. That whole incident is where the Dreadstone terrorists came from, after all. I'll have to talk to you about that, actually, considering recent events.
That's unfortunate to hear... you know more than I do the horrors of magical corruption. And while it is a bit disconcerting that she’s lying about that, I really don't blame her. I know I’ve had to lie about estrous before. And while that does sound a bit worrying, psychology is only a soft science, after all. But you don't have to worry; concern is normal in that kind of situation, and nopony is going to judge you.
You can absolutely come over! You know you're always welcome in Ponyville. Magidecon is very simple, and of course we miss you too. A mares night out is a great idea, especially if she's been isolating herself like that. And if what you need to talk about is what I think you need to talk about, then by all means come. If you wanted to tonight then that would work out well, I think. So please do come, I’m having Sunset withdrawal!
Your friend, Twilight Sparkle
P.S. She is well as always. She's started writing in a little different style recently but maybe she’s just a bit stressed about the honeycomb opal heist? But as I always say, you really should just ask her yourself. You never know when the opportunity will elude you forever...
“Sorry Twilight, but I can’t do that...” Sunset muttered as she closed the book, the smile that had built up over the course of the letter being suddenly dashed into the shameful frown she wore upon reading the post script. “Not yet.”
If given a choice between wrestling a ravenous hydra with her limbs tied together, or attempting to reconcile with her old teacher, she was more than willing to feed the beast. When last they spoke, things did not exactly go the way the Princess had planned.
For her pride and avarice, Celestia had removed Sunset from the position of her star pupil, banned her from the castle, and escorted off the premises. Along the way she had assaulted the guards and entered the forbidden mirror that lead her to this world. While she didn't regret meeting her human friends a single bit, she did regret betraying her teacher whom she loved and admired, even if at the time she didn't realize it.
Sunset turned her thoughts from the unpleasant subject. There would be plenty of time to beg for forgiveness from an immortal being. Celestia was not going anywhere any time soon. Besides, there were more important things to worry about right now than to make up with what was basically her principal. Ironic considering the Celestia of this world.
No, Sunset’s biggest concern at the moment was the safety and well-being of Twilight. Their next period together was their final block, calculus. All that stood between her and inviting Twilight to a good time with her interdimensional friends was language arts... which was totally fine because she shared the class with Fluttershy, but for no other reason because gOD was the book they were reading terrible.
‘Withering Widths’, a story of a weird incestuous love pentagon between orphan brat, female love interest, jealous boyfriend slash brother, female love interest number two, and jealous boyfriend slash brother number two, featuring vengeance, corporate greed, revenge fucking, angst, and, oh yeah, the ostentatious reek of literary pretentiousness.
The criticism brought a sharp stabbing pang of guilt to her stomach as she remembered Twilight was a rather big fan of the book. She made a mental note to keep her complaints quiet while around the girl. She was nearly as sensitive as Fluttershy herself when it came to her favorite books, music, movies, and pretty much anything. It wouldn't do to upset her any more than she already seemed to be recently.
Sunset pondered how to proceed with her plan to get Twilight out of this funk if there wasn't an issue with Midnight after all. That was only one small thing that might explain a few other things, however it was foolish to assume it was the only explanation. Besides, purging the hypothetical demon to remove the fear of being touched and the need to hide the secrets of her body and the attraction based guilt didn't make any sense.
She had no problem with gay people or ponies. While Sunset wasn’t exactly homosexual, as she did have a thing for stallions [thus why having sex with Flash wasn't so bad as a penis is a penis], she did also have a thing for mares [thus that one time she and Starlight got more than a little frisky]. Just not really human women. No offense to them, their bodies were just... weird.
After discovering the term ‘body dysphoria’ during the course of her own independent studies in psychology, Sunset had realized that was why she always felt strange inside her body. It wasn't right. She was a pony, and being forced to exist in this bipedal primate form was just pure hell. She would have gone to Twilight about it but that may have been a huge breach of several unspoken social rules in a society of mandatory clothing. Pinkie also had a few qualms about the way she looked, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were freaking sculpted goddesses, and Fluttershy was the one in need of support herself at the time.
That left Rarity, the only one Sunset thought would be able to help with the problem. Her first advice was to attempt to become more comfortable in her own skin, and when that didn't exactly work, exhibitionism was the next suggestion. At first Sunset loathed the thought. She understood the concept of sluttiness well enough and wanted to avoid another scarlet letter. Despite Rarity’s attempts to explain that the human body was a perfectly natural thing and that anybody who had a problem with it was a giant pride who wasn't worth worrying about, the idea still filled Sunset with anxiety.
Still, the idea also somewhat intrigued her. Sunset had left Equestria before she had fully matured as a mare and so never had the experience of looking and feeling sexy in any capacity. Not that her mind was on that in the first place, as world domination was a much more lofty and noble pursuit at the time. So after some time had passed she had talked to Rarity again and expressed a desire to do so.
The plan was simple. Make an anonymous blog on the internet, take nude, lewd, or otherwise suggestive photos of herself, post the photos, get positive feedback on her body, obtain self esteem with zero negative consequences, feel better about being in her own skin. There really wasn't much in the way of things potentially blowing up in their faces.
Sunset trusted Rarity with the photographs. She had been fully nude around Rarity before, mostly for education in human female clothing purposes. Rarity was a seamstress and was desensitized to nudity anyway, so that didn't fell Sunset with any dread or trepidation. In fact, Rarity had been the camera for many of the photographs. The girl had an eye for detail and cinematography unparalleled by any other, except maybe for Photo Finish.
The photographs turned out nicely (according to Rarity, as Sunset herself had no frame of reference for anybody who wasn't a horse). Rarity had uploaded them and set tags and did a few other basic things that caused the pictures to have at least some attention paid to them. Nothing but love and admiration of her body had poured in. When Rarity showed some of the comments to her, Sunset cried... though she would never admit it.
It didn't magically cure the hatred of living in a body that wasn't hers. It didn't instantly wash away all of the bad feelings and the occasional sleepless nights lost over wishing more than anything to have her pony body back. She still sometimes snuck off to the mirror in the middle of the night and got found by Princess Twilight in the morning sprawled out on the castle floor snoozing peacefully. But it did help a little bit with being more accepting of her situation.
That is, until Twilight may have discovered the blog.
There was always a failsafe in place in case someone from the school found it. Blaming it on the other Sunset wherever she may be was certainly a part of it, as was deleting everything. Unfortunately it seemed like now was the time for it. Everything was on a hidden encrypted flash drive courtesy of Twilight herself (irony drenched much of Sunset’s life, it seemed) so it wouldn't have been lost forever, and the memories of all the wonderful and supportive comments would never be gone, but... as of this afternoon they would no longer be available online for all to see. It was bittersweet but necessary. She was much more comfortable with her body nowadays anyway.
“...are you even listening to me?”
Sunset jolted out of her thoughts. After a quick glance to the clock to reveal she had been spacing out for much of the period and looking at a blank computer screen, she returned a sheepish grin to the... complete stranger sitting next to her.
“Ugh, of course,” the girl with a palette comprised entirely of different shades of green said with a facepalm. “I should've asked earlier before talking for so long. This is embarrassing...” she began rifling through her bag. Also green.
“I'm sorry,” Sunset responded. “My mind was just elsewhere. Who, uh-” the mystery girl pulled a strange rock out of her bag, leading Sunset to change her question from ‘who the heck are you’ to “What the heck is that?”
The girl shrugged. “Nothing you'll remember. Sorry for being awkward and also for this.”
Sunset was about to question what this meant when the rock began glowing and-
The bell rang, and Sunset jolted out of her thoughts. After a quick glance to the clock to reveal she had been spacing out for the entire period and looking at a blank computer screen, she glanced around the empty room. Luckily nobody had been present and she sheepishly grinned at herself. Tomorrow she would do twice as much work to make up for doing nothing today.
She gathered up her items, her supplies and the journal, and stuffed them all in her bag. She rolled her shoulders and began the slog towards the second worst class of the day, topped only by history. Pausing only for a second to shake the feeling that she was forgetting something, Sunset turned off the lights and entered the hallway.
It was probably nothing.
/x/x/x/
Twilight left the English room in a huff. What did it matter that she was a few minutes late to read a book she had practically memorized by now??? Besides that fact, regardless of the fact that it was a total lie, she was having cripplingly horrible menstrual cramps. This really wasn't turning out to be a good day, or week, and it was only Tuesday.
“Twi, wait up!” Rainbow Dash called, jogging to catch up. Twilight paused for a moment to catch her breath and to let her friend come over. The pair shared this and their next class, history; unfortunately they didn't sit together in english, partly due to the combined fact that Twilight had already read pretty much every single book in the curriculum, with Rainbow’s tendency to just rely on plot summaries and goof off the entire period, and the fact that they had the same language teacher back when they dated, it all added up to being seated on literal complete opposite ends of the room.
“Sorry,” Twilight simply offered. “Today everything's just getting me upset.”
“I feel you,” Rainbow replied, falling in step as the pair headed off down the hallway. “I get punchy on my monthly too. Especially when teachers are on my ass. That was super uncalled for, by the way; you've read this book probably a hundred times since you first came here.”
Twilight nodded. “I'm not even writing the essay next week, I’m just putting the one I wrote three years ago for fun onto a flash drive and setting that on her desk.”
“Ah shit, that's next week?” Rainbow groaned. “I can't do next week, I’ve got too much going on! I've got basketball AND tennis on Friday, plus my shop project and studying for algebra. How am I gonna get everything done?”
Twilight gave her The Look.
Rainbow sighed. “Yeah yeah, I know, write a schedule and stick to it.” She offered puppydog eyes to her former tutor. “Mind helping a girl out?”
“Of course.” Twilight nodded. “I'm not doing anything after Pinkie’s party tonight. Oh, hi Sunset.”
“Ayy, what’s up Shimmy?” Rainbow greeted, offering a fist bump, which was returned.
“Hey guys,” Sunset greeted. “Heading to the torture room?”
Twilight exaggerated an eye roll as Rainbow laughed.
“No, we’re cutting class to go make out in the bathroom,” Twilight teased before her face darkened. “You know, like Harshwhinny accused us of two years ago. Bitch.”
“Uh oh, Twilight’s pissed,” Rainbow said, putting her hands up defensively. “Clear the area, let's cordon off the hallway.”
A smile returned to Twilight’s face as she bumped her friend with an elbow. “Wouldn't you be mad if Spitfire got on your ass about attendance at your soccer practice?”
“Spitfire’s cool, Twilight!” She defended. “Not like Hardass. She knows I've got stuff goin’ on, and personal issues, and she's not gonna bitch me out about it. Although...” a mischievous glint caught in her eye. “I wouldn't mind too much if she got on my ass, if you know what I mean.”
“RAINBOW!”
Sunset snickered from behind her hand as the intrepid lesbian dodged an embarrassed punch from the flustered one.
“I take it class didn't go well?” She asked. “Harshwhinny didn't give you too much trouble today, did she?”
“Hardass bitched at Twilight for being like ten minutes late,” Rainbow answered. “Said she was disrupting the class and delaying her own education by not reading the material on time.”
Sunset’s eyebrow raised. “Aren't you reading Withering Widths?”
“Yeah.” Twilight bluntly stated. “I was reading it in my free time when I had her as a teacher last time after I finished rereading the other books she had us read. Which I reminded her of. She... didn't like that.”
“She looked like a friggin’ tomato.”
“She told me to ‘stop abusing my natural intellect as an excuse to be lazy’ and that I was disrupting the class regardless.” Twilight rolled her eyes yet again. “So I told her she was the one disrupting it because I'm not the one who stopped reading it out loud when I walked in.”
A worried frown crossed Sunset’s face to match Rainbow’s grin as Twilight continued.
“Then she was all ‘I wouldn't have stopped if you were here the whole time’ so I was like ‘well I'm sorry I can't control the blood coming out of my vagina’,” Twilight paused to take a breath as Rainbow began guffawing, and she waited for it to die down. “She just sighed and told me to go sit down. Lucky I didn't get a detention but eh, it was worth it to see her scowling.”
Sunset nodded. “Cool, I’m glad I get to have her in a bad mood.” She flashed a fake smile. “And I just love reading for an angry Hardass.”
Twilight and Rainbow exchanged a nervous glance before lamely laughing as they rubbed the backs of their heads.
“Yeah, sorry,” Twilight muttered as a brief darkness flashed in her eyes. “I'm, uh... not in the best mood right now. As you guys can probably tell.”
Sunset’s lips pursed as Rainbow nodded.
“About that,” Sunset began. “So are you doing anything tonight?”
Rainbow turned to Twilight as she opened her mouth.
“Actually,” she replied. “Rainbow asked me if I could help her write out a schedule for next week. I said I would. Also, Pinkie’s party.”
Sunset turned to Rainbow. “Do you mind if I borrow her tonight and let you have her some other day?”
Rainbow shrugged. “I got three other days this week. What's goin’ on?”
“Yeah, got anything special planned?” Twilight asked.
Sunset nodded. “Yeah, I was talking to Princess Twilight in yearbook today, and she mentioned that she’s not busy tonight, and neither are the rest of the mares.” She spoke pointedly at Twilight. “She also mentioned that she and Starlight have been meaning to chat with you in person since it's been so long.”
Twilight pursed her lips as she remembered Sunset’s words in the bathroom. ‘I could see about taking our Twilight through the mirror under pretenses of hanging out with Starlight and her other self to get her out of this funk that she’s been in recently.’
“Hey, it’s fine,” Rainbow assuaged, nudging Twilight. “Yesterday you did stuff for Rarity, today you should have fun. We can hang out another time.”
Twilight sighed. “Are you sure?”
“Positive. If I had a chance to hang out with the other me, I’d grab it with both hands.”
Sunset leaned in. “Is that all you’d grab with both hands?”
Rainbow burst out laughing. “NO!” She cried, catching her breath. “I like human chicks only. No offense.”
“None taken.”
“Well... if you're sure it's fine,” Twilight interjected. “Then I guess it would be cool to go see Equestria tonight. My parents are home so I don't have to be. Would I need anything from home?”
Sunset shook her head. “The only things that go through the portal are things that came with you in the first place, or any magic items. Basically all that’s gonna come through is two ponies, my journal, and our geodes.”
Twilight slowly nodded. “That sounds like fun... I’ll look forward to it.”
“Great!” Sunset exclaimed. “I'll let Twilight know. We can talk more after the party?”
“Sounds like a plan,” Twilight said with a fake but convincing smile, hiding the fear in her voice. “I'm looking forward to it.”
Suddenly the bell rang, and several clouds of dust replaced many of the students in the hallway.
“Hey, I’ll talk to you guys later,” Sunset said, eyes glancing down for a moment. “I probably shouldn't be late, especially not today.”
Rainbow nodded and put a hand up. “Later.”
Twilight merely nodded before the teenagers all parted ways and headed to their respective classrooms.
“Hey, Twi...” Rainbow muttered.
“Hm?” She asked, clenching her hand and willing her pulse to slow down.
“Not trying to be a dick or anything, but uh...” she clenched her own hand in response.
Twilight looked down at their intertwined hands before she snapped her own away and began to blush. “Sorry!” she exclaimed. “I didn't even notice, I didn't mean to, I-”
“I'm not upset,” Rainbow said, placing her now freed hand on Twilight’s shoulder. “You actually haven't really broken my sappy pda rule at all since I told you about it.”
“I know, but...” Twilight wrung her hands together and continued to avoid Rainbow’s gaze. “I should still be better about this. You said that it was just an emergency thing to grab your hand or call you or hug you or whatever, and I need to respect that.”
“Dude, I’m not mad, I’m worried.” Rainbow leaned down so that she was at least in peripheral vision. “You tensed up as soon as Sunset told you about going through the mirror, and you still look really uncomfy. It's like you're scared of Equestria or something...”
Twilight locked eyes for only a moment before pulling away. “I'm just... nervous about how I’ll look as a pony.”
Rainbow blinked a few times before bursting out laughing.
Twilight neutrally glared at a nearby locker. On one hand she was thankful that the lie worked but on the other hand she was actually a little upset that Rainbow found humor in the becoming a pony situation because from what she knew about equine biology it was more than a bit concerning.
“Okay, sorry, that was just...” Rainbow wiped her eyes. “Okay, I’m good. Sorry I laughed. I'm just relieved, I thought you were dying or something.” She didn't notice Twilight’s wince.
“No, not dying... just being dumb.”
“It's not dumb.” Rainbow flashed the same friendly smile she did on their first date so long ago. “Your body turning into a completely different animal... not gonna lie, when I was little one of my biggest fears was turning into a werewolf like one of those shitty b-movies. It's freaky. But Sunset did it and she's fine. You will be too.”
Twilight only experienced a small comfort at this. She was still terrified of Sunset finding Midnight and then killing her. Exploding was a lot worse than just basic body horror. Her body had changed enough already that it wasn't big deal. But being murdered by a bunch of unicorns and rainbow magic wasn't exactly high on her bucket list.
“...okay.”
Rainbow hugged Twilight and held her close. “You know I don't really do intimacy, or phone calls, or anything except when there's a big problem. Like, Fluttershy’s panic attacks levels of problem. But...” she squeezed for a moment. “I know this is a thing for you so I don't mind, so don't beat yourself up over this.”
“Okay.”
“Just don't expect it all the time.”
Twilight giggled before pulling away and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “I won't... but thanks.”
“Not a problem at all,” Rainbow affirmed. “Now come on, let's get to class. Don't wanna be late.” And with that she turned on her heel and walked quickly down the hallway.
“Oh, Twilight-”
“Fuck you,” she spit at Midnight before focusing on the next step.
So tonight was the night Sunset had picked for purging Midnight. There weren't many hours left in the day. She made a mental note to text her family and tell them that she loved them before she went through the portal since she wouldn't really have a chance to afterwards.
If Midnight was right, and the lightningrod effect was the intended angle to kill both of them, Sunset might not waste any time. Princess Twilight had a world to protect from evil magic, so she wouldn't either. Starlight was a wild card but she clearly idolized both Sunset and Twilight. Tempest sounded really scary, and Star Swirl the Bearded was allegedly the most powerful unicorn in Equestria. All of them had the means, will, and stakes necessary to destroy any threats to the world.
Twilight sighed before following Rainbow. She decided to put up a brave face for her friends and have a really nice time in the afternoon before she went through the mirror. With the day now effectively ruined, she didn’t particularly feel much need to care about paying attention to class. There were more important things to think about, like how best to enjoy her last few hours alive.
She had caught up to Rainbow and the two walked together in silence, making it inside the history room moments before the bell rang. Rainbow held up her hand for a high five, which was returned as they took their seats.
They were assigned questions from the next chapter before the teacher fell asleep.
“So, Twilight...”
“I’m not giving you the answers.”
“I’m not gonna ask you for the answers... yet.”
“Then what’s up?”
“...whose nudes did you see?”
*smack*
/x/x/x/
“I’m telling you, Night, this is blood. Pizza sauce doesn’t congeal like this!”
“Vel...” Night Light sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Maybe she nicked her finger with it.”
“If she cut her finger she’d have worn a Bandaid!” Twilight Velvet slammed the utensil back into the sink. “There’s a scar on her throat, there’s blood on the cutter. What do you think that means?”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS IT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, VEL?” He screamed.
“Stop shouting at me.”
“...I’m sorry.” Night stepped over and pulled his wife into an embrace as he began gently rubbing her back. “But I don’t want to think about our little girl hurting herself.”
“Neither do I!” Velvet volleyed. “But if she is, we need to help her. Haven’t you noticed she doesn’t wear short sleeves anymore?”
“Baby, please, it’s cold outside right now. Surely you don’t think she’s slashing her wrists too?”
“I don’t know, but she’s been going through razors so quickly.”
“She has a lot to shave, you know this.”
“Still!” Velvet pulled away and jerked open the dishwasher. “Haven’t you read all of those pamphlets she gave us when she was trying to tell us about this whole... thing?”
“I did, yes...” He rested a hand on her shoulder. “But don’t you think she’d have come to us by now if there was really a problem?”
“We’re not even here often enough for her to come to us for anything...”
“Babe, we have to work.” He motioned around the kitchen. “We have to pay for this house, for her education, for her medications. For a car if she ever gets a job. For the dog!”
“I know that!” She snapped. “But do we really need a thousand dollar television we never watch, a fifty thousand dollar car we never drive, and a six hundred thousand dollar house we never live in?”
Night sighed. “What do you suggest?” He asked. “One of us quits our job and we move somewhere else? Filthy is a bloodthirsty villain, this was the cheapest one in the area. And you know how Neighsay is with tuition. If we don’t do this she’s gonna be in debt up to her eyeballs. And what about that surgery?”
“I know! You’re right. We can’t change anything...” Velvet started unloading the clean dishes. “But what if I’m right?”
Night stepped in behind her and took the basket of silverware, and started putting them away into their respective drawers. “Then we get her to go to another therapist. If she needs support for that, I’ll use some of my vacation days. And I can talk to her soon...” He turned to her suddenly. “Why don’t we invite Shining and Cadey for dinner tomorrow?”
Velvet stopped in her tracks. “That might help her.”
He nodded. “If something’s the matter, the girls will talk. They’ve always been so close. You remember how much happier she was when we hired Cadey as a babysitter.”
She put the stack of plates away where it belonged. “I miss our happy little girl...”
Night deposited the basket back. “I do too. But now she’s our happy growing woman. Maybe she nicked herself shaving, maybe she slipped and fell, maybe Spike got a bit rowdy. She probably didn’t even know that it was there, because it obviously didn’t hurt. And that wasn’t a cry for help, because she’s always direct with us when it comes to her health. Remember when she told us about autism?”
“Of course I remember the twenty-page essay she made when she was nine years old.”
“That, and her depression and anxiety, and all of the side effects when she started taking those medications. She’s a scientist, obviously she’s going to trust psychiatry.” Night slipped his arms around her midsection and put his lips on her ear. “She’s going to be fine. She’s a smart girl.”
Velvet melted into his embrace, before turning around and putting her forehead against his. “I’m just worried about her... I’m her mother, aren’t I allowed to worry?”
“I’d be worried if you weren’t worried about everything...”
“Oh, shut up,” she chuckled, placing her lips on his own for a moment. “Are you sure she’ll be fine?”
“I’m absolutely positive,” he affirmed, slipping his hands down to undo the tie of her robe. “She’s going to be okay, she’ll graduate as valedictorian, she’ll be top of the class at university, and then she’ll cure cancer or something.” With the fabric opening slightly, Night slid it off of her shoulders. “And then when we’re old and gray she’ll have beautiful children who visit us and let us spoil them with candy and non-educational TV.”
“That sounds like a wonderful plan,” Velvet murmured as she took her turn to remove her husband’s clothing. With his shirt off and tossed haphazardly towards the dining room, they began kissing again. “Grandchildren would be wonderful.”
“Only because you know she’ll name her first daughter after you.” Night teased as he lifted her by the thighs and placed her on the counter.
“Don’t forget that it’s your turn to clean this.”
He shrugged as he removed his pants. “I don’t mind that at all,” he said as he got down on his knees. “But I don’t plan on letting anything hit the surface.”
Across the room, Spike turned the corner and then upon witnessing what was happening, he slowly backed up and turned around to pad off in the other direction. Oh sure, THEY could put their tongues on each other’s genitals for FUN, but when HE does it for CLEANING that’s a ‘No no, bad dog!’ and a swat with a rolled up newspaper. Humans are weird.
/x/x/x/
Rarity scrolled through her phone in the bathroom. She had just used it for its intended purpose during lunch, so this was cutting class, pure and simple. Granted, it was choir and their spring concert was months away so they were merely watching a movie she had seen a dozen times before in the exact same class, so it was fully justified.
Marismeno was going to leave the abbey and babysit the rich spoiled brats and fall in love with the father and then they were going to use the power of music and love to escape the fascist Coldbloods of Griffonstone whether Rarity was present to watch it or not. No, there were much more important tasks to take care of at the moment.
Like deleting photographs.
Though she much regretted burying evidence of natural beauty, it was for the best. Sunset was afraid of losing one of her best friends due to potential judgment over nude photographs, and it was Rarity’s obligation to indulge her request. That didn’t mean her finger didn’t hesitate every step of the deletion process. However, through mind over matter, each individual post faded into nothingness, never to be seen again.
Goodbye, bedroom eyes. So long, deep red lingerie. Sayonara, striptease. Au revoir, underwear. Ciao, collarbones.
Rarity especially regretted deleting the next one, as aesthetically it was a favorite of hers. However, with a deep sigh, she ignored the devil on her shoulder telling her to save it to her phone first because that would have been dishonest, disloyal, unkind, and just plain wrong. The angel on the other side nodded sagely, and then the devil made rude hand gestures to both of them.
Once the final step was completed, Rarity couldn’t help but sigh. All of the positive comments on the photographs really brought Sunset’s mood up from the pits they were in when she’d approached her with the problem. Of course Rarity was a bit carnally excited over being asked to help with body positivity for a fireball such as Sunset, but that was massively overshadowed by the vicarious joy she experienced upon seeing the former pony come to better terms with her body, nude and otherwise.
Besides, Rarity had an image to uphold. She didn’t have any problems with gay people. Heck, two of her best friends were lesbians, another had been with girls before, and yet another used to identify as queer. Many of her clients were gay men and crossdressers, and she had even had several transgender clients of multiple varying genders all across the spectrum. She even lived with a genderqueer bisexual!
No, the problem wasn’t any prejudices of her own account. It was a matter of her parents.
They were not fond of L, G, B, T, Q, A, I, or any letters of the alphabet in that regard. Sure, they didn’t actively speak out against the proverbial rainbow, and they tolerated the existence of the people of these demographics, so long as their own flesh and blood were strictly heterosexual ‘as the Creator intended’. The thought had made Rarity’s stomach turn before she even knew that she herself was bisexual. And that was why she hid it from everybody.
If anybody knew, there was a chance that word could spread to her parents. That could NOT happen. They would surely bar her from ever being able to see her sister again, let alone the fact she would lose her car, her home, and her education, the very ability to allow her to see her friends. She loved them too dearly to ever be apart from them.
That was why she couldn’t tell anybody that her sexual proclivities were of a sapphic nature. That was why she could only ever support Twilight and Rainbow Dash and the others from a distance. That was shy she had to pretend like there was no reason whatsoever why she should have any inhibitions with helping her friends with things that involved them being open, vulnerable, and occasionally nude around her. Making dresses, suggesting clothes, taking photographs, supporting through body positivity...
She felt sick.
That was why she was afraid when Twilight saw the lingerie on her phone. Why she panicked when she thought Twilight had seen the blog. If Twilight found out what she was hiding, that she was only pretending to be straight, she might be accused of perversion. Predation. Voyeurism. That wasn’t the case, as she truly did believe in desexualising female nudity, but would anyone believe her?
Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, especially Sunset. She could lose them forever. Rainbow and Applejack too, as their loyalty to their friends was unmatched, and they wouldn’t forgive betrayal of that caliber well. It would have been so much easier to just come out and tell them before they all became close enough to share nudes and let her custom-tailor outfits, but alas, that bridge was long burned by now. Not that she even could have told them without losing the rest of the things keeping her life together.
The constant ocean of nausea was somewhat quelled with self-justifications. To be fair, she had never said that she wasn’t sexually attracted to women. She had never said she was explicitly heterosexual. She had never behaved in an untoward manner or flirted or ever done or said anything to ever make even Fluttershy uncomfortable with expressing their bodies around her. But if she said she had never glanced around the locker room, or stared for a second too long at a bikini, or had a passing thought of one of Sunset’s photos while pleasuring herself, or didn’t long to design complementary wedding dresses for herself and her future wife... that would definitely have been an outright fabrication.
Rarity sighed as she scrolled through the rest of the blog. A part of her wanted to delete the whole thing. She wanted to just erase it all, throw the identity away, bury her gynesexual desires and fantasies so deep into her subconscious that they might as well have never existed, and just pretend to be mommy and daddy’s perfect little girl seeking a husband and nothing else. How she wanted to...
She did try it once, from the moment she realized she wanted to have sex with one of the girls at the chartered middle school she attended. However, the resulting depression left her almost paralyzed with guilt and self-doubt, unable to even get out of bed some days. Never again, she vowed. Unfortunately, no matter whether she chose to embrace or reject the identity, she still had to keep it hidden, no matter how terrible it made her feel to do so.
It was okay, though. She was a pillar which the others used to brace upon. Sunset, Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rainbow, even Applejack some days. If she had to suffer in silence and cry alone in the bathroom some days in order to be what her friends needed her to be, then so be it. It was worth it as long as they were happy.
Thus, her pride in Sunset’s joy. The bitterness and anger and fear dissipated once she saw the payoff. Her friends’ happiness.
Rarity dabbed away the tears that had formed before leaving the stall and analyzing herself in the mirror. Waterproof eyeliner and mascara was definitely worth the slight decline in quality if it meant she looked strong and confident and powerful even at her lowest points emotionally. Perfect.
The smile on her reflection looked so alien compared to the poisonous thoughts swimming through her head. Still, it was believable. With a resolute nod, she shouldered her purse and headed back to the choir room.
The darkness obscured many of her classmates snoozing, listening to music, and- making out in the corner? Wow, get it Amethyst! Anyway, Rarity settled in her seat next to Big Macintosh, who offered her a friendly, good-natured nod, and focused on the musical number she’d heard dozens of times in the past year alone.
“You are sixteen going on seventeen, fellows will fall in line... Eager young lads and rogues and cads will offer you food and wine~”
Rarity muttered along with the rest of the words. “Totally unprepared are you to face a world of men... Timid and shy and scared are you of things beyond your ken~”
She sighed. Hopefully things went well at Pinkie’s party. A pick-me-up was definitely necessary. Maybe she would actually eat a cupcake this time... Pinkie always ordered a baker’s dozen.
/x/x/x/
Author's Note
I'm setting up for a sequel series centered around Sunset Shimmer on an adventure in Equestria. There's a lot of musing in this chapter but it's necessary. The Forgotten Friendship easter eggs are more than just easter eggs. Twenty bucks go to whoever picks out the *other* Twilight reference (and whoever makes fun of me for her emo music taste owes me that much). I love Twidash friendshipping. Bet that's not the people y'all thought were gonna have sex. Have some feels and sad backstory. I also love The Sound of Music. I'm also noticing I use the same couple dozen tropes and phrases a lot. Oops.
Have a quick freebie, by the way. Literally wrote this in a couple hours broken up only by food. It's slightly longer, too. Enjoy!
Also, aaayyy 69 likes. Thanks guys ^.^
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TFW You Find Your Crush's Nudes
TFW You Turn Into a Freakin' Horse [read A/N]
Applejack’s hand rested over the handle of the door leading to the band room. Through it, she heard the muffled sound of very familiar music. The bass resonated so hard she thought she saw the glass dancing along with it. Through the clear window she could see Pinkie Pie doing the same, spinning and dancing and jumping to the beat as she put up party decorations.
With one final resolute intake of breath, and an adjustment to her daddy’s old hat, she turned the latch.
“-ing hard, hard, ha-ah-ah-ard, just like the world is ours, ours, ah-ah-ah-ours-”
The farmer scrambled to slip through the doorway and pull the hydraulics closed behind her before Pinkie deafened any poor souls left in the hallway with the as-loud-as-it-was-catchy pop song. Satisfied that everything was closed properly, she turned around and strode to the stereo.
Ordinarily, turning down the music would be a cardinal sin. Though the girls’ tastes were as significantly different as their personalities, they both understood the sacred golden rule that music is better when it's loud. It wasn't that either of them had issues communicating nonverbally, or reading each other’s lips in noisy environments, but AJ did not particularly want to spend the evening in detention by violating Principal Celestia’s noise ordinances.
Again.
Applejack placed her fingers gently around the dial for the volume. She wiped away the bead of sweat that had appeared on her forehead, and spared a cautious glance at the party girl who most certainly should not be crossed when it comes to music and parties. With a slow and steady inhale, Applejack turned the dial counterclockwise by one increment.
In one instant there was a freight train barreling towards the poor unlucky sap who dared to make the perfect party preparation playlist at all quieter. If one didn't blink, they could see actual fire emojis pasted over her eyes for a split second. In another instant, the train had again become a normal teenage girl who was extending her arms invitingly and grinning widely, although continuing to move quickly.
“AJ!” Pinkie cried, wrapping her arms around the slightly taller girl’s shoulders. “I'm glad you're early, I didn't wanna be lonely while I was getting ready!”
Applejack slid her own arms around Pinkie’s hips, or at least attempted to around the flared hot pink skirt, and settled around the waist. The pair gently twisted back and forth a few times before they squeezed tightly for one last second and pulled apart, Pinkie gliding her fingers down Applejack’s muscular arms until they were gently gripping each other’s hands.
“I ain't got nothin’ to do but homework,” she said with a shrug. “And I get up early enough in the mornin’ that I can do it then. Plus I know that the others got stuff to do and y'all were gonna be alone if I didn't come by.”
“It still super duper nice though!” Pinkie exclaimed in response, reaching over to turn the music down even further. Then in a normal tone of voice, she continued. “I mean I have no problem with doing it all by myself but I want it to be perfect for Twi-Twi because I know she’s been having a really hard time recently.”
Applejack sighed. “Yeah, I know that. To be honest I’ve been worried about her too. That's also part of why I’m here to help you help her have a better time.”
Pinkie gave a melancholic smile as she turned to lean against the wall. “Rarity says that she really liked the cake.” She pointed at a table across the room. “So I made another one just like it. I can tell that something's making her sad, I just don't know what, so I can do my best to make her happy until she can do it herself again.”
“I don't see sad,” Applejack replied. “I see a girl who’s scared of somethin’ or other. I just don't know what either.”
Pinkie nodded before pushing off and gathering a roll of streamers together on a table before heading to a stepladder off to the side. “Mind keeping this steady while I put up more decorations?”
“On it,” she said, striding to the chunky metal tool. She picked it up and motioned with her head. “Over this way?”
“Aw, you don't have to use your geode for me.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “...I’m not.”
“...oh.”
“Here good?”
Pinkie splayed her fingers out and looked up at the ceiling though them. She stuck her tongue out a bit and squinted her eyes. After a few moments of analyzing, she gave a dual thumbs up before heading back to return the radio to its original levels and snatch up the streamers.
Applejack rolled her eyes a tad and placed the ladder in position. Once Pinkie had the party supplies in hand she climbed the steps as her... ‘cousin’ held it in place. True, there was a slight chance that the Pie’s fifth cousin twice removed was the Apple’s great great aunt, but it would be a far cry to say that they were blood. However, both girls firmly believed that family wasn't who you were born to, but the people who you call home.
Regardless, over the years the two had grown close enough to practically be family anyway. They, as well as Rainbow Dash, were an inseparable trio who probably had spent more nights in the same bed than they did on their own, each in spite of their wildly different upbringings. Sure, they both had their own strong friendships with Rarity, Fluttershy, Sunset, and Twilight, but they were closer to each other than to any of the others.
The two continued to work for around twenty minutes, wordless but for Pinkie’s singing every line of every pop song coming out of the speakers. Though she would never admit it, Applejack quietly hummed the choruses of each one at least once. It wasn't exactly her cup of tea, but Pinkie loved it, which made it tolerable.
In the end the pair managed to complete the entire ceiling worth of decorations and then some. Once finished they turned the music to a more gentle level before they took a spot on the floor, kicked back, and cracked open some cold soft ciders, courtesy of Sweet Apple Acres themselves. Pinkie nestled herself firmly in Applejack’s lap, resting her head on the farmer’s chest.
“She was lyin’ today, ya know.”
Pinkie craned her neck and arched an eyebrow.
“At lunch.” Applejack took a swig. “Twilight.”
“What was she lying about?”
She shrugged. “I dunno. She said she had her knees up, her earbuds in, and painkillers goin’. She kindly left off the reason why, on account of we all know what’s goin’ on. But that just ain't true.”
“How do you know, AJ?” Pinkie asked. “I think it makes a lot of sense. She's done it before.”
“I know that. It happens to every girl. But the thing is, there ain't no way it could be today.” Applejack took another draught. “We know that periods go with the moon, every 28 days. I don't spend much time thinkin’ ‘bout y'all girls’ coochies but if there’s one part o’ math I’m good at, it's the patterns.”
Pinkie didn't answer with words, but took a contemplative sip.
“What I noticed is that it's always the third week o’ the month. Shy and Sunset are the fourth, we’re the first, and Rare and the kids are second. Right now.” Applejack set her bottle to the side and was motioning with her hands now. “But the thing is, that since months aren't all a perfect number o’ days, the number o’ the week changes around a bunch. Say it's the Wednesday one day, next month it’d be the Monday, or even the Sunday for the longer months.”
“Uh huh...?” Pinkie said with a voice that sounded slightly unconvinced about the ‘I don't think about your vaginas’ comment.
“Right, well. A few months ago, you, me, and Dash did on the second week. Before that we were the third. I know that maybe cycles can be different lengths of time, but that’s pretty rare around this town. But irregardless, if yer on a twenty nine day cycle, or twenty seven, or any other day, then it'd be one thing. Even on an exact thirty. But that's just the thing. It always seems to start on the same date every month. But the problem is that it's been hard for me to nail down when it happens. So it's like, there ain't the right consistency.”
“Well why does that means she was lying?” Pinkie asked, leaning away and observing Applejack with skepticism. “Maybe she just has weird ovaries that go at different times every month?”
Applejack took another large drink. “I thought so too. I never put much thought into it, maybe she has funny business with her lady business that really ain't my business. Could just be coincidence. But then I noticed that she took one of her earbuds out halfway through us talkin’ to her. She didn't touch her phone at all the entire time she was walkin’ over to us.”
“So?”
“Twi’s taken meds and listened to music before, and every time she always has it turned up really loud and doesn't really turn it down until she gets back close to the lunch table. As a creature o’ habit, there's no way somethin’ different woulda gone down.” She drained the last of her bottle. “Plus she looked up and to the right before she answered the question. That’s a major tell.”
Pinkie pursed her lips as she pondered this information. Nothing Applejack said was incorrect. However, what reason would Twilight have for lying? She voiced her question.
“I don't know. I know it ain't anything bad... at least, I hope it ain't.”
“Do you-” Pinkie stopped herself and swirled her drink for a moment. “Do you think it has to do with whatever’s scaring her or making her sad?”
“Probably.”
Pinkie stood up, taking the empty bottle with her. “I just hope she's okay,” she said. “I hate when she's not happy.”
“I’m sure she’s just got some personal issue goin’ on or something. If it gets to be a real problem then she’ll tell us.” Applejack brought herself up and cracked her neck. “I reckon the others should be here soon. We should talk about lighter stuff, ‘specially for Twilight’s sake.”
Suddenly a small flame appeared in front of her face, attached to a small metal box in Pinkie’s hand. Behind it was her own mischievous smirk she held in reserve for only the worst of puns.
Applejack responded with an ‘are you bucking kidding me’-worthy glare, prompting Pinkie to fall into a fit of giggles.
“Y'all know y’ain’t allowed to have lighters on school grounds.”
“Well how else would I light the candles, AJ?”
Beat.
“Alright, fair point. But that was terrible.” She checked the time on her phone. “That was your bad joke of the day. Any more and... uh...”
Pinkie tossed it lightly in the air and caught it, sliding it safely into her bra for safekeeping. “Banishment.” she stated.
Applejack gave her a questioning face.
“To the moon,” Pinkie continued. “A thousand years. No parole.” She leaned in and whispered conspirationally. “And the only thing on tv is golf.”
Applejack adopted a more shocked visage which failed to stay in place. “Gasp!” she cried, holding one hand to her chest and one to her hat, exaggerating every movement. “Anything but g-g-g-g-golf!”
The girls fell into a fit of giggles as the doors opened.
“So I was like, ‘Banger? But I just met her!’”
A gasp, a smack, and a stern “RAINBOW!” followed, as an offended Rarity turned the corner, face turning red. A guffawing Rainbow followed soon behind her, gently rubbing her shoulder.
“Hi Rarebear!” Pinkie cried. “Hi Dashie!”
Rainbow put up a hand, and Rarity offered a demure wave. Applejack nodded her head at the both of them.
“It looks marvelous, darling,” Rarity said, praising. “You’ve outdone yourself as always, Pinkie Pie.”
“AJ helped!”
“Oh yeah, sure,” Rainbow teased, dismissively. “Holding a ladder is a real help.”
“More help than makin’ dirty jokes and showin’ up late.”
Silence reigned over the group before Pinkie whispered “Oooohhh, burn.”
Rainbow chuckled nervously, looking everywhere but at Applejack, who merely adopted a cocky posture with crossed arms, a smirk, and a raised eyebrow. “Well, uh... you got me there.”
“Well,” Rarity interjected, walking between the two. “The room certainly screams ‘party’ to me. And I do see, Pinkie, that you made another sheet cake. Is this the same recipe as the other one?”
As the two babbled about baking, Rainbow stepped towards Applejack. “Hey,” she said. “Apparently Twilight’s going to Equestria with Sunset tonight.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, the three of us chatted a little bit ago. Turns out she's a little freaked about turning into a horse. You said to me the other day you thought she was scared of something, well, there ya go.”
Applejack nodded in understanding. “That makes plenty of sense, actually. I know I’d be too in the same position. I'm just glad it ain't somethin’ big like...” she rolled her hand in thought. “Midnight or somethin’.”
“Yeah, no,” Rainbow replied, putting her arms behind her head. “Just Twilight being Twilight.”
“Well that sure is a relief. Pinkie and I were just talkin’ about her. She's concerned too, so y'all should probably let her know on the side later tonight what's up.”
“Mmhmm.” Rainbow turned to survey the decorations. “I'll do that later tonight after Twi leaves. Don't want her to think we’re talking about her behind her back or anything. My schedule for tonight got cleared anyway.”
“How so?”
Rainbow put her arms out to the side and shrugged. “I asked Twi to help me write a schedule tonight for next week about two minutes before Sunset invited her to horseworld,” she said, putting her hands into her pockets. “Told her that it wasn't a big deal but now I’ve got nothing planned tonight after the party.”
“Don't worry, darlin’, there’s plenty o’ cider back at my place. I won't letcha be bored tonight.” she said with a wink.
“Thanks, man.”
On the other side of the room, Pinkie was apparently teaching Rarity how to use a file sharing application so that they could share the cake recipe. It wasn't going terribly, but...
“Wait a second darling, I’ve lost you. What is a... pudiff file?”
“No, silly Rarebear, it's an acronym. PDF.”
“Oh... what does that stand for?”
“Uh... probably something. You'd have to ask Twilight. But that doesn't matter, it's basically a really big picture.”
“Pinkie, I don't want a picture of the cake, I want the recipe for it.”
“It's not an actual picture!”
“But you just said it was a picture!”
“The picture is OF the recipe!”
It wasn't exactly going well either.
“Uhh, gals?” Applejack inquired, moving in towards them. “Everything goin’ okay?”
Rainbow’s phone buzzed. She pulled it out to see a new message from Fluttershy indicating that she was with Sunset and Twilight and they were on their way. She sent “cool” and a thumbs-up emoji before slipping it back onto her pocket.
After a moment of deliberation, she pulled it back out and sent another message to someone else.
/x/x/x/
*bzzz bzzz*
Two figures underneath a thick comforter suddenly stopped moving.
“... Is that me?”
One hand slipped out from underneath the blanket and began patting a side table. It searched back and forth until it came across two cell phones stacked on top of each other. Once secure in its grasp, the hand retracted back inside of its fabric prison.
“Looks like it.”
“Oh, it's Rainbow Dash!”
The blanket came flying off, revealing Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. The former began furiously tapping a response as the latter quickly pulled the discarded cotton around her exposed body.
“Scoots!” She cried in shock. “Warn me next time...”
“Nobody’s gonna be home for hours, it's fine.”
“Still, and plus I’m cold anyway. I'm still sick, remember?”
Scootaloo rolled their eyes before flashing a teasing grin. “Too sick to go to school but not enough to make out?”
Sweetie Belle blushed. “Alright, fair point, but you know how my family is. I just can't let them find out about this...”
Scootaloo sent the last of the response before clicking the phone closed and tossing it gently at the foot of the bed. “They're not gonna, and worst comes to worst they'll believe us if you say you’re just sweaty or something.”
“If you say so...”
“I do say so.” The young teen looked the anxious girl in the eyes. “I'm sorry I got excited but it's not just every day that Rainbow Dash texts me out of the blue on a Thursday. And besides, if they were home then we wouldn't even be doing this stuff anyway, right?”
Sweetie didn't react for a moment but eventually sighed and relented. “I guess you're right... it's just really kind of scary knowing what would happen if they did find out.”
“You're their daughter, they'll get over it.”
“...I meant what would happen to you.”
Scootaloo’s grin faded immediately. “Oh...” they reached for the phone again before sprawling on the bed. “Okay, yeah, I wasn't thinking about that.”
“Mom and dad probably won't let you stay here anymore, and I know Rarity probably wouldn't let me leave to see you-”
“What!?” Scootaloo shouted. “Rarity wouldn't have a problem with that. She's best friends with Rainbow, Twilight, Pinkie, and the others. Even Applejack is okay with it and she's the only other one of your sister's friends who's totally straight, plus she's known us for as long as we’ve known Applebloom.”
Sweetie sighed again. “It's different with family... Rarity is fine with Rainbow and the others because she's a good person, and a good friend. But she's just like mom and dad... she wouldn't understand if her sister was... you know.”
Scootaloo frowned. “You don't know that. And there's nothing wrong with the word bisexual.”
The phone vibrated again, but they made no attempt to grab at it.
“Aren't you gonna get that...”
“Rainbow can wait a minute. It's you I’m worried about right now. Are you really scared that your sister is going to reject you if you come out to her?”
“...no, but I know she could.”
Scootaloo sighed. “I can't really identify with that since Rainbow’s been out for longer than I’ve even known her personally, but... if you're really that afraid, then I’ll try to pay more attention to your fears and stuff, okay?”
“...okay.”
“Cool. Now hold on, I can't take too long to respond... actually... you know what.” Scootaloo deleted what was written and opted for a different and much shorter message before setting the phone back on the nightstand. “This is probably where I should ask if you need a hug or something like that, right?”
Sweetie shrugged. “If you’re okay with that then it would be really appreciated- oh!” She was cut off by two arms wrapping around her shoulders and pulling her close against her paramour’s skin.
“Of course I’m okay with it... I don't really like sap but if we’re dating then I’ve gotta meet you at least halfway. And honestly, I can think of a lot worse things than hugging you.”
She giggled and nestled into the hug, returning the affection in kind. “I'm glad... I really like hugging you too... especially when... you know.”
“Yeah, I do have pretty nice abs, don't I?”
“They're okay,” she teased. “Better than mine at least.”
“Hey, stop that,” Scootaloo gently warned. “Just because you don't work out doesn't mean you're not cute and stuff.” Hands wandered lower than the shoulders. “I wouldn't be with you if I didn't think so.”
“Oh, so you're only dating me for my looks?” Sweetie said, continuing to tease. “Does that mean you wouldn't if I was ugly?”
“Well,” Scootaloo said, turning to straddle their girlfriend. “I'd think about it.”
The two started laughing as they pulled the blanket over their bodies and started kissing once they were out of sight of the rest of the world, alone on their small oasis for what precious little time they had.
/x/x/x/
“Rainbow says, um, cool... and, uh, a thumbs up.”
“Wonderful,” Sunset said as she loaded all of her books into her locker. “Sounds to me like Pinkie didn't accidentally set the whole room on fire... again.”
“That was a fun week of detention,” Twilight dryly muttered, doing the same. “Will I need anything else for tonight?”
“Nah, just enough to get ready for school in the morning.”
“Oh, I’m so envious of you two,” Fluttershy said, standing behind them, a wistful dreamlike quality to her voice. “Equestria sounds like such a wonderful, magical place.”
“Yeah,” Sunset said, smiling at the memories of her home. The good ones, at least. “It is pretty amazing if you really think about it. Other than the occasional monster, tyrannical dictator in search of conquest, world endingly horrible eldritch entity, or rampaging god of chaos running around. But other than that it's a great place to live.”
“Oh, I don't know about living there... maybe a visit to see all of the animals you can't find in this world. And to see myself as a pony would be so...” she began to inaudibly squee as she imagined herself as the pegasus she turned into when she ponied up.
“Hold your horses there,” Twilight joked to cover the grim feeling that embedded itself into her bones. “I can tell you all about it if I get back.”
“If?” The two other girls asked simultaneously.
Twilight swore under breath and frantically thought of a way to dig out.
“The Dreadstone terrorists are not that big of a deal,” Sunset eased, placing a soothing hand on her friend's shoulder. “The most dangerous thing in Equestria right now is probably gonna be the prospect of tripping on your own hooves.”
Twilight blanched. On one hand she was glad that her cover wasn't blown, but on the other hand...
“Dreadstone terrorists?” she asked.
Sunset facepalmed. “So that's not what’s got you worried.” She sighed. “Ugh, okay, so the short version is that a bunch of ponies who hate dragons stole some magic armor for presumably nefarious purposes, but Twilight says that they're not a big issue, but it doesn't mean that ponies aren't still kinda paranoid about them. I thought I mentioned it before but I guess I haven't.”
“Oh my goodness,” Fluttershy murmured, wide eyed. “That sounds awful...”
“Awful as that may be,” Twilight said, now with a plan in place. “I just mean that the last time I had anything to do with a magic mirror, it didn't go so well.” Better than nothing.
“Ooohhh...” Sunset closed her locker and put her hands in her jacket pockets. “I gotta say, this is really making you paranoid... are you sure you're okay with going?”
“It’s a trap...” Midnight whispered.
“No, I’m fine!” she lied. “I don't wanna ruin the plans you made with the ponies. I'm just a little overwhelmed because it was such short notice and there's the party first and I’m on my period and that's probably just making me super emotional but everything’s fine!”
Sunset remained impassive for a moment. She didn't want to reveal her hand and call out Twilight on lying, but couldn't because Fluttershy was standing right there. She cursed the taboo as she considered her response. Before she could say anything, however, Fluttershy embraced the girl.
Twilight froze at the contact, arms out and a look of confused shock plastered on her face. After a moment she found herself returning the hug in kind, closing her eyes and burying her head in Fluttershy’s neck, shuddering and fighting the urge to cry. “Thank you...” she whimpered.
“It's okay,” Fluttershy consoled, motherly. “Don't be mad but Rainbow told me that you're worried about becoming a pony, but everything is going to be just fine. Sunset did the same thing. It's okay to be a little anxious but I hate seeing you panic...”
Twilight pulled tighter. Though misplaced, it was still nice to know that she cared. It also felt nice to hug Fluttershy; plus she smelled like Jasmine and fresh-cut grass.
Sunset looked off to the side. Why did Twilight tell Rainbow that she was scared of Equestria if her issues were with guilt over attraction and Midnight having returned? Could this just be a straw that’s breaking the camel’s back?
“I'm just worried is all...” Twilight finally stepped back, wiping her eyes of the thin sheen of tears that had formed. “It's stupid, I know, but I’m still a little on edge.”
“If you really don't want to go,” Sunset said, figuring she’d have to find another way to purge Midnight if she had to cancel. “The mares will all understand. If this is this much of a problem for you, you can just help Rainbow like you were going to anyway.”
“It's fine, really,” Twilight insisted. “I'm honestly looking forward to it, honest. I just get weird about dumb things sometimes, you know?”
“Oh Twilight, it's not dumb just because someone else doesn't have the same problem!” Fluttershy gently reprimanded her self deprecation. “I have those feelings too, all the time. Your fears are all valid, no matter how unfounded they might be, because your feelings are still real... And your friends will be here to help you through it.”
“That we will,” Sunset said, clamping her hand on Twilight’s shoulder. She could have more than one thing going wrong at a time. Celestia knew she herself had a lot. “Every step of the way.”
“...thank you girls.” Twilight said, pushing her locker closed. “I’ll try to be better about all this... and i’ll keep that in mind.”
“Do you need anything right now?” Fluttershy asked.
“Ten million dollars, a kilogram of chocolate, and a hand to hold.” she joked.
Fluttershy, however, took Twilight’s hand in her own, which brought a blush to her cheeks.
“I- I was only kidding!” she exclaimed.
“You can let go if you want to, then,” Fluttershy replied, gently beaming. “But if you're not then I don't mind doing this for you.”
Twilight ignored Midnight and the terrible accusations she was hurling, and simply opted to grip tighter. “If you don't mind... then thank you.”
The two girls then began to walk down the halls, Sunset trailing behind. She contemplated Twilight’s somewhat odd behavior. She merely shrugged and attributed it to the body horror of transforming into an entirely different creature. Becoming a human was... utterly horrible.
Surely that was all that was wrong.
/x/x/x/
“I’m home!”
Flash Sentry shrugged off his jacket as he placed his car keys on the kitchen counter, throwing the fabric onto the back of the couch. He shimmied along the cramped space between on his way to the hall.
He knocked twice on one of the doors. “Hey bro, you awake?” He asked.
“I have never been less awake, my man!”
Flash nudged the door open to see a giant mess of art supplies. Several easels with canvas sat around the room, unfinished projects on all of them. Large white pieces of paper covered much of the room, cans of paint scattered here there and everywhere. Rags, palettes, brushes, and other supplies littered everywhere that was left.
At the center of it all was a burly man with a blue mohawk. He wore jeans and a scarf comprised of different shades of pink, and had flecks of paint all over his face and bare skin. He was hunched over one piece of paper, paintbrush in hand.
“I hit a sick batch of inspiration this morning and I've been on a roll, man, on a fuckin ROLL.”
Flash carefully stepped around the mess before making his way to the small desk in the corner next to the bed. There was no other furniture.
“That's great to hear, Spearhead,” he said, pulling open a drawer. “What's the piece gonna be called?” He asked as he pulled out a plastic container.
“Insomnia, the nameless phantom...”
Flash sighed. “You didn't take your pill this morning.”
“Sure I did, right before you left for work.”
“That was yesterday afternoon, Spear.”
No response came.
“Did you even sleep last night?”
Spearhead nodded. “Art doesn't sleep, my man. War and art are the two things that sleep doesn't wait for, and I know my share of both.”
Flash glanced up at the wall, at a large framed photograph of Spear in full military regalia. Next to it was a glass box showcasing multiple medallions and pins.
“I know you do...” he muttered somberly to himself. “But you have to take your meds or you're just gonna get bad again. I can't be here for you if you have another flashback.”
Spear leaned back, kneeling, and glaring down at the solid wall of black. “I will when I finish.”
“Do it tonight, all right?” Flash warned. “I worry about you, man.”
“I will tonight... I just... I have to finish this one.”
Flash knelt down behind him and embraced him. “I know. And you gotta remember to eat, too.” He sniffed. “And shower. Mom and dad would be pissed at me if they knew I let you go without bathing.”
“...I miss ‘em.”
“Me too.” Flash stood up. “I'll cook tonight. I'll let you know what things are ready.”
“Got it... love ya, bro.”
“Love ya too, bro.” He said, making his way back out the room. “If you need anything else just let me know.”
No response.
Flash slowly closed the door behind him before sliding down to the floor, placing his head on the wood and sighing. His eyes scanned through the photographs on the wall. Many of them were of Spearhead with his old squadmates from the war.
They were all dead now.
“Fuckin’ Coldbloods...” he pulled himself back to his feet before dragging himself to the next door. Inside, the lights were off, and through the curtains which blotted out most of what natural light would have come in from the sun, he could barely make out a lump in the bed.
“Hey June,” he greeted, closing the door behind him and kicking off his shoes. “Class was fine. You do more than sleep today?” He removed his shirt and sat down on the bed.
“...no...”
Flash turned to lay down behind her, and wrapped an arm around her midsection. “No big deal. At least you did sleep. Spear’s been awake since yesterday morning.” He cast his eyes at the small refrigerator and the microwave in the corner of the bedroom. “Did you eat?”
She shrugged. “Had an apple.”
Flash sighed. “I'm cooking tonight. You want anything?”
She shrugged again.
“Do you wanna go outside for a bit?”
“...okay.”
Flash nodded and got up. He stepped around the bed and reached down to move his arms under her body. She slipped off the blankets and let him pick her up. He was careful not to bump her legs, but picked her up bridal style.
He made his way out the room and down the hall, stepping through the small gap between the couch and the wall into the living room. He continued over to the balcony window. She pulled it open and he stepped through before placing her down on one of the chairs.
“You good?” He asked.
She merely nodded, and he took that as his ability to sit in the one next to her.
“I really hate this.”
He reached over to take her hand in his. “I know,” he said. “I'm sorry.”
“It's not your fault,” she interjected. “You weren't even driving.”
He glanced down to her mangled legs before he looked back to her eyes. “Maybe I should have been. Then maybe we wouldn't have crashed.”
“It doesn't matter. We did. My uncle paid for the hospital bills. My legs are destroyed. But we’re alive. That's all that matters to me.”
Flash grimly purses his lips before leaning in to kiss her forehead. “I'm glad for that, at least.”
She smiled and kissed him back. “Love you.”
“Love you too.”
/x/x/x/
The party went on uneventfully.
Pinkie’s cake was a hit, the tunes were jamming, the decorations were appreciated, and the girls all had a great time.
It was bittersweet for only one.
Twilight stood in front of the Wondercolts statue, gazing into the portal. She couldn't see it but she knew it was there. The faint scent of lemongrass emanated from it, and there was a just barely audible hum.
“Well girls, I’ll see you all tomorrow,” Sunset said, hugging Rarity before moving on to Pinkie. “Be sure to let me know what all I’ll be missing tonight.”
“Don't worry Sunny!” Pinkie exclaimed, turning their bodies to either side in a bone crushing hug. “I'll keep a super mega ultra detailed log and let you know every single thing that happens down to every time I blink!”
“Ahaha... maybe not that much... also I can’t breathe.”
“Oopsie!” She stepped back. “Sorry.”
Rainbow slung her arm around Sunset’s shoulders. “Don't worry, I’ll let you know all the cool stuff that happens.”
Twilight watched the banter from a distance more emotional than physical. This was probably going to be the last time she ever saw any of her friends again. She glanced down at her cell phone at the last message she'd probably ever get from her parents.
‘It’s okay, be safe, we love you’ in response to ‘Hey is it alright if I spend the night at Sunset’s?’
“If only they really knew what was about to happen...”
“I'll go first,” Sunset said, snapping Twilight out of her reverie. “That'd probably be best for everyone involved. I'll see you on the other side!” And with that she stepped into the stone, disappearing out of sight.
“That's still so awesome!” Rainbow cried.
Fluttershy came over and hugged Twilight again. “It's going to be okay,” she whispered. Twilight merely nodded as she returned the hug, knowing she might not ever see her again.
Applejack gently clapped a hand on her back. “Y'all better have fun now, ya hear?”
“Oooohhhh it's gonna be so super duper funtifferastic!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I'd ask you to send me a postcard but only magic things can go through.” After a moment she gasped. “Wait, what if they have MAGIC POSTCARDS???”
“Postcards, schmostcards,” Rainbow casually dismissed. “You should find a way to take a picture of the other me.” At everyone else’s looks she started rubbing the back of her neck. “Or, uh... all of them, ehehe... but seriously though, have fun.”
“I'll certainly try,” Twilight nervously chuckled, knowing that even if she could she probably wouldn't be able to.
Rarity was the last to approach.
“I do certainly hope you enjoy yourself, darling,” she said, comfortingly, before stepping in with another hug. “Creator knows that you deserve a good night away from all of the drama this world has to offer you.” Then, quieter. “And maybe seeing Sunset as a horse will make her less attractive to you.”
Twilight snorted laughing. “Well now that you mention that...”
It then just dawned on Twilight that this would be the first time she was seeing Sunset fully for who she was in even more intimate a sense than she had already. After this she’d have seen Sunset nude in more ways than literally anyone else in the world. The thought brought color to her cheeks.
“Well regardless of whatever happens, I do hope you enjoy the time you spend in Equestria,” Rarity said, pulling away. “And you simply must tell us all about it when you return.”
“If...”
“Oh, don't worry, I definitely plan to,” Twilight said, stepping back from her friends. She took a mental snapshot of all of them, affirming this would be what she sees before the end.
‘Don't cry, damn it...’ she whispered to herself. ‘Be strong for them...’
“I, uh...” she put her fingers together. “I love you guys.”
Three ‘awwws’ and one ‘gaaay’ chimed out of the group.
“We’ll miss you,” Rarity said. “And we all love you too.”
Twilight smiled one last time before turning around. She steeled herself with a deep breath before stepping forward, and disappearing out of sight.
/x/x/x/
Twilight, Starlight, and Spike were all sitting at the Cutie Map, reading. Twilight had a copy of Star Swirl’s Complete Compendium of Spells Volume III. Starlight had How To Win Friends And Influence Ponies. Spike had the comic book Watchmares that he swore was called a graphic novel but was literally just a long comic book.
A flash of light from the other room suddenly came from out of nowhere, soon followed by none other than Sunset Shimmer.
In an instant, the spellbook found itself discarded on the table as Twilight’s hooves wrapped around the new guest.
Starlight smiled as she set her own book down- much more gently and carefully- as she trotted over to the pair.
“Ah, it's been so long!” Twilight cried. “How in the hay have you been!?”
“It's been wonderful, Twilight,” Sunset greeted, returning the hug in full force. “No monsters have tried to enslave all the humans for a few months, life couldn't be better. Hey Spike!”
Spike looked up briefly and waved a claw, hungry to get back to his comics. Sunset was cool and all but Detective Inkblot Shock was cooler.
Twilight pulled away and allowed Starlight to step in and give a hug herself.
“How are the girls?” She asked. “Fluttershy still quiet, Rainbow still cocky, Pinkie still Pinkie?”
“They're all well,” Sunset chuckled, pulling away. “It's weird knowing you know them here better than I do.”
“Well, weirdness abounds wherever there's magic. So uh...” Starlight looked over Sunset’s shoulder. “Where’s your entourage?”
“Twilight’s saying goodbye to everyone,” she replied. “Where’s yours?”
“The girls are arriving soon,” Twilight answered. “Magidecon is kind of a smelly business. But it's definitely worth it if it means I can help out the other me!”
“This will be so confusing...” Starlight muttered. “I can barely keep one of you straight!”
Twilight playfully scoffed and nudged her with a hoof. “Shut up, I’m sure the wings will be enough to tell the difference.”
The mirror flashed again.
“Speaking of which...”
*THUD*
“...ow.”
The three mares shared an awkward, uneasy glance before they all trotted in.
“Maybe one of us should have been in here...” Sunset murmured, reaching a hoof out.
The new arrival rolled over and frantically attempted to orient herself, hooves waving wildly. Eventually she made contact and righted herself, pulling to her rear legs. Her forelegs wobbled before meeting the ground, and the girl shook her mane to either side.
Twilight the alicorn approached her winglesss doppelgänger before reaching out a hoof.
“Hi Twilight,” she greeted. “Been a while.”
Twilight the unicorn was frozen in shock by the three magic talking ponies who bore suspicious resemblances to two of her friends and a mirror.
She fainted.
/x/x/x/
Author's Note
First and foremost, the events that occur while Twilight is in Equestria will happen in the first chapter of my fic The Dragonbourne Identity, which mainly focuses on Spike. After that, however, the story continues in this fic. I will leave a link to it [here] when it's done for those who want to see it but it's not 100% necessary to continue reading this fic. Actually, this fic is almost required reading for the sequel, The Dragonbourne Supremacy because the Sunset from this fic is a main character. It's complicated, I know, but I'll link to the blog that discusses the timeline once it becomes necessary.
Anyway, this chapter mainly exists to bring up the main plot lines I will be pursuing in side stories, but after this I'll be predominantly back on Twilight's character arc. Consider everything up until this point acts i and ii, and act iii will begin next chapter.
Pinkie and Applejack's bit is necessary for later on. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle's bit is to take part in Rarity's arc for the sake of the sequel to this fic's sequel, and also to kind of tie together the overarching idea of what I wanna do with their characters in all of my fics. Fluttershy and Sunset are due to have some work done to explain why they live together, it just hasn't been necessary yet because it has nothing to do with Twilight or Rarity who are the main focuses aside from Sunset [who becomes significantly more important than the object of Twilight's affections in act iv. Flash's segment is important and not just feels porn, I swear. Overall I'm not really a fan of this chapter, necessary though it may be to bridge the gap, and I feel bad because I wanna get back into Twilight so badly, but I just needed to shove her through the mirror so I could get to the next plot arc already. Hope you all understand.
I wanna thank everyone for supporting this fic. Every day I get more and more notifications of people adding this to their Favorites libraries, so I'm glad to know that people are really getting into it. Thank you for reading, and have a happy Mother's Day.
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TFW You Find Your Crush's Nudes
TFW You Literally Have a Panic Attack [intermissionary subchapter]
“Beaten, tortured, killed. Here. In Manehattan. Outside her own apartment building. Almost forty neighbors heard screaming. Nopony did anything. Nopony called guards. Some of them even watched. Do you understand? Some of them even watched. I knew what ponies were, then, behind all the evasions, all the self-deception. Ashamed for harmony, I went home. I took the remains of her unwanted dress... and made a face that I could bear to look at in the mirror. ”
“Are you still reading that silly little comic?”
Spike looked up from his book at the alicorn and cleared his throat.
“Graphic novel.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Okay Spike. I'll indulge you.” She glanced back at the group of mares in the next room over. “Anyway, once the other me wakes up, I’ll need my crystals for magidecon, so...”
Spike pursed his lips and slipped a bookmark in place. Twilight had set up a mare’s night out with all the girls, including Sunset and the Twilight from through the mirror. There was some worry about the evil magic that had grown on the other side of the portal but Spike never particularly cared about the nitty gritty of magic corruption. The Elements of Harmony were always able to beat it in some form or another.
And besides, the sooner he helped the sooner he could get back to his comi- to his graphic novel, so rather than protest ‘just five more pages’, he shrugged and did as he was asked the first time.
“Okay,” he said, tucking the book under his arm. “Be right back.”
Spike then padded off through the castle, claws clicking on the smooth glassy crystal. He gave a dismissive wave of his claw at her thanks before he turned the corner. Sighing, he simply glanced down at the cover, at the smiley face with the tiny splash of... raspberry jam. At least, that’s what he told Twilight it was. She’d no doubt freak out if she knew what it really was.
Twilight freaking out was something he'd rather avoid, for obvious reasons. She was definitely more palatable when she was sane and not yelling at you. Not that she wasn't usually pleasant to be around. Most of the time. The sentiment was shared among everyone who was going to be there, and though it seemed there was fun to be had, he wasn’t particularly interested in hanging out with the girls.
There wasn’t anything particularly wrong with them, or their activities. Girly as they may be, there wasn’t exactly anything *wrong* with being girly. Inkblot Shock himself had a job making dresses, a detail that reminded him of Rarity. He also kept a diary. And anyway, fillies, mares, girls of any species, whatever, they were all great. He sometimes did need some time for manly things like Ogres & Oubliettes with Big Mac and Discord, but dressmaking and cupcake baking and getting treatments at the spa were all perfectly enjoyable in their own right too.
No, the problem wasn’t the gender of the ponies hanging out in the castle. The problem was their identities. Though to be more specific, just one.
His Twilight was great once you really got to know her as more than a neurotic mess obsessed with checklists and procedure. Rainbow Dash was certainly as awesome as she constantly claimed to be, and always had your back. Applejack was dependable, an unbreaking pillar of support who tells it like it is. Pinkie Pie was fun and funny and always good to have around when times were tough. Fluttershy was a bit quiet but one of the nicest ponies in all of Equestria. Rarity was amazing and wonderful and beautiful and perfect, obviously. Starlight had made a lot of progress from being the evil world destroyer she almost was, and was now quite pleasant company. Sunset was in the same boat. Trixie and Maud were a bit difficult at first but once you cracked their exteriors they would follow you to the ends of Equestria. They were all good friends to have by your side.
The problem came with... the other Twilight.
Now, there wasn’t anything wrong with Other Twilight. But... she was a significantly more awkward version of His Twilight, reminiscent of back when they lived in Canterlot. Spike imagined that if Other Twilight was put in a room with Moon Dancer circa a few years ago they would hit it off. That wasn’t a good thing. It was almost painful to be around her the few times he and His Twilight had crossed over to hang out for whatever reason.
She was always hiding in the corner, fiddling with her cellophane or whatever it was called, muttering and correcting grammar under her breath, staring off into space at random times. Her emotions seemed nonexistent, talking the same way happy as she did when she was upset. When she spoke it was often monotone and hard to hear. When you could hear it, sometimes she changed topics in a split second. And she didn’t even look at you when she did so. She was just... weird.
Spike shook his head of the thoughts; he’d arrived at the cabinet where the magidecon crystals were stored. Magical decontamination, as it was formally known, was a bit of a complicated and smelly process that basically amounted to making sure that dark magic wasn’t present, and expelling it into a quartz block if it was. When Sombra’s horn was discovered on the outskirts of the Crystal Empire it was encased in a cage of quartz in the Canterlot Archives for these properties.
Contrary to popular belief, there wasn't much pain or danger involved in the decontamination process provided a unicorn worth their salt would channel the excess energies properly. This was referred to as a lightning rod despite the lack of any actual electricity. It would definitely freak out the human Twilight, but to be honest Spike wouldn't be at all surprised by that. She seemed as nervous and antsy about things as either of the Fluttershys.
He palmed the chunk of quartz, stuck his book under that arm, and took the black velvet box in the other claw. Much as he wondered what they would taste like, these gems had special properties and were absolutely not to be eaten under any circumstances. He didn't remember the full nerdy explanation but basically they resonated with certain things and drew magic out that way. Or something.
The dragon did take a little peek inside. There sat six little crystals. They were colorless, onyx, milky white, cobalt, yellow, and a glowing tealish green. His tongue slipped out involuntarily for a second before he slapped the box closed. The yellow one smelled especially delicious, probably brimstone, but Spike wasn't really looking forward to being murdered by Twilight as these things were really rare and expensive.
He shut the cabinet with his tail and headed out of the room, only to almost walk into a dripping wet dragon with two fluffy pink towels wrapped around her hip and on top of her head.
“Uh...”
Spike tried but miserably failed to stifle a giggle. His face turned red and he began to guffaw, unable to cover his mouth with either of his full claws.
“Yeah yeah, laugh it up Spike,” Ember grumbled, crossing her arms in front of her chest and blushing. “These were the only ones in the bathroom...”
“Oh, I am so totally using this for blackmail!” Spike joked, catching his breath. “Imagine, the mighty and fearsome Dragon Lord takes bubble baths and wears pink!”
Ember’s eye twitched. “You're lucky I know you're kidding or else I'd burn you to a crisp.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure, ooookay,” he continued to tease as the pair walked through the hall. “We all know you love me too much to do so.”
An awkward silence settled.
“Platonically!” Spike cried, realizing his phrasing.
“That's not it,” she replied, thoughtfully glancing at the stained glass windows looking down at them. “It's just... huh.”
They continue to walk in a slightly less awkward silence for a short while.
“I don't know,” Ember finally continued. “We don't really have love at home. Platonic or otherwise. I'd be hard pressed to even say that I ever loved my dad growing up.”
“Wait... dragons don't love their parents?”
“No no no, it's not like that. It's just different. We imprint on our parents through our egg memories, you know? Imprinting is...” she placed her fist over her mouth in thought. “It's an instinct that we have that doesn't really have a pony comparison. You know how long it took me to get used to friendship. It's just not really something I can explain easily.”
“That makes sense...” Spike rolled her words around in his head for a little bit. “What are egg memories?”
Ember side-eyed him. “It's... the memories you have from inside your egg.” She turned fully to face him. “When our eggs are laid, we’re already developed enough to be able to feel the aura of our parents, so when we hatch we’re instantly drawn to them. It's purely a survival thing, since you'll die without them and if they don't keep you alive their genetic line ends. It's not because of the whole magic of friendship thing.”
“That's... cool. But sad.”
“I guess. But I was born in the culture so it's normal for me. Not so much for you. You know... I actually don't know anything about your parents.”
Spike shrugged. “Neither do I.”
After a second or two of walking, Spike realized he was alone. He looked behind him at the shocked expression on Ember’s face.
“What?” he asked.
“You... don't know anything about your parents?”
Spike merely shrugged again. “The way I see it, Twilight’s mom is my mom. Or Celestia. Or, heh, Twilight acts like my mom sometimes. And one day I’d like to call Rarity’s mom my mom, if you know what I mean.”
“...what about your sire?”
No response came.
“Spike, I...” Sigh. “I'm sorry I brought it up.”
“It's fine, I'm not upset about knowing who my real parents are anymore.” He smiled at her. “I’m just adopted, no big deal. Happens all the time here. I just...” the smile faded slightly. “I used to be really upset about it. But that's in the past. For right now, my family is my friends. Twilight, Rarity, the rest of the girls, Thorax... you... oh yeah, and the birds.”
The somber mood evaporated. “Birds?”
Spike cocked his head. “Yeah, Owlowiscious and Peewee.”
Ember blinked. “Those names mean nothing to me.”
Spike chuckled. “Right, you probably haven't met ‘em yet. Owlowiscious is our pet owl, and Peewee is a Phoenix I raised from a hatchling.”
Ember furrowed her brows. “...you have a pet owl?”
“Yeah, he's just...” Spike unfocused and stared at the wall as he racked his brains for the last time he saw the bird. “...huh.” Try as he might, the most recent time was a couple of years ago when Ponyville had the dream fight against Princess Luna’s Tantabus.
“Spike, there you are!” Twilight yelled, flustered, before catching the other dragon out of the corner of her eye and much more successfully covering a snicker. “I thought you got lost again. Hey Ember, you find everything okay?”
“I found the towels.” She grimaced. “Unfortunately.”
“Twilight,” Spike asked. “Where's Owlowiscious?”
Twilight blinked, returned to reality. “He's in the library with Alan. Why?”
“Who the heck is Alan?”
“The raven.”
“... We have a raven?”
“Never mind Alan, Spike, did you find the crystals?”
Spike tossed the little box towards her and hefted the quartz. “Yeah, no problem, Ember and I were just chatting. Sorry we were slow.”
“It's fine, Twilight’s still passed out, but Maud and Pinkie are here and they wanted to take a look at the set. What were you guys talking about?”
“Dragon culture, our parents. Other stuff.”
“Yeah,” Ember cut in. “That reminds me, I wanna chat with you in private about something later, Princess. And uh... what do you mean Twilight’s passed out?”
“Oh! The other me from the human world.”
“...I have several questions but the most important one will be what the heck is a human?”
“Well, I hope you girls have fun,” Spike said, stretching. “But I’m gonna head to the library and read... and say hi to the raven we apparently have now. Later!”
The two girls glanced after him before returning their gazes to each other.
“There's a magic mirror that leads to a different world where ponies are turned into non-magical simian creatures called humans and dragons are turned into dogs.”
Ember merely gaped at her. “...I have several more questions.”
“Long story short, there's copies of all of us through there, myself included, and my copy is here to hang out with us tonight.”
“Okay, yeah, I figured that out when you said that, but... dogs? Seriously?”
Twilight shrugged.
“Do... do dogs turn into dragons?”
“I... don't know,” Twilight said, filing away that she would have to ask Applejack to borrow Winona for an experiment in the future. “And I have a question for you in return.”
“Shoot.”
“Why do you have a towel on your head if you don't have any hair?”
/x/x/x/
“- and then Maud said, ‘apocalypse? I thought you said a rockfish!”
A rimshot went off somewhere.
“Yes,” a flat voice intoned. “I did say that.”
Sunset Shimmer had a fake grin to match the one on Starlight’s. “That's an... interesting story, Pinkie Pie. It's almost like I was there.”
This technically wasn't a lie. When the circumstances surrounding the event that the energetic pink earth pony had just described had happened to the energetic pink human who bore the same name just a few days ago, she was definitely present. However, unless there were significantly marked differences in the things that happened in the parallel universes, the story was full of a lot of embellishment.
However, she thought it prudent not to speak on that.
“And you know, it's just as funny the third time you told that story.” Starlight said, nervously laughing. This, too, technically was not a lie.
“Well duh, it's a classic!” Pinkie boasted, lovingly wrapping her hooves around the impassive Maud. “My big sister has got to be one of the funniest mares in all of Equestria, and I'm just lucky that she lets me tell the stories of her epic hilarity!”
“You do tell stories really well,” Maud added, tone not raising or lowering whatsoever as she spoke. “You really brighten things up in a way that I never would be able to. It's one of your many talents that I envy.”
“Aww,” Pinkie said, rolling her eyes and waving her hoof dismissively. “You're just saying that...”
Sunset could see movement out the corner of her eye. She turned her head to look at the lump of lavender sitting on a bedroll in the mirror room, who was now sitting up and rubbing her eyes.
“Twilight’s awake,” she said, turning to the cutie map and snatching the pair of glasses in her magic. Despite the mirror’s properties to only transfer magical objects, she had come through with glasses almost identical to the ones she wore back at home, just shaped for a pony rather than a human.
“Twilight was taking a nap at this hour?” Pinkie asked, incredulous. “Aw man, I didn't know it was do impressions of Rainbow Dash day, I could have sworn it was next month! My party senses have failed me!”
“No,” Starlight said, touching her hoof to Pinkie’s barrel. “Other Twilight.”
“Oooooohhhh!”
Maud blinked.
“Oh yeah, you haven't really been told yet...”
Sunset pushed past the exposition dump, glasses in tow, and pursed her lips as she took a closer look at her friend. The marks on her inner forelegs were hardly visible, but they still concerned her heavily, and explained a couple of things.
Twilight was gently patting the ground around her, apparently calm, but only the exterior. Her eyes were rapidly scanning her surroundings, or what little she probably could see without the lenses, and her breathing was very shallow and rapid.
“Sunset...?” she whimpered, practically inaudible, hooves reaching the cold crystal. “... where are you?”
“Hey,” Sunset cooed, placing a hoof on the side of Twilight’s muzzle. “I'm right here.”
Twilight quickly brought her own up to touch Sunset’s, and squinted her eyes. “I can't see you.”
“Here, don't move for a sec,” she uttered, unfolding the glasses and slipping them over Twilight’s eyes. “There, is that better?”
Twilight blinked a few times before her eyes widened as she took in Sunset’s form. She... well, she was definitely a horse. But she was also most definitely Sunset. That hair, those eyes, that smile.
“Yeah,” she breathed. “A lot better.”
“Good...” Sunset glanced over her shoulder at the trio of mares peeking in. “So uh... how are you feeling?”
Twilight tried to pull herself to her legs and wobbled slightly, but managed to stay fully upright. “A little weird...” she responded. “I hate not having my hands, first off. And all of my muscles are doing different things than I want them to. But I think I'll be okay with this for the... night...”
She suddenly seemed fearful of something, and her breathing sounded shallow.
“Twi, what's...” Sunset turned and glanced at Pinkie’s waving. Starlight facehoofed as Maud just stood there. “...oh.”
Probably just the new arrivals.
“Hey, come on,” Sunset motioned with her head, wrapping a hoof over Twilight’s back. “They're not gonna bite. You've met Starlight before, and this side’s Pinkie is just as nice as our Pinkie.”
Twilight very nearly shrunk back from the contact, but kept it together. She turned her head from the figure in a dark corner of the room to the mare giving her a gentle, encouraging smile. She put together what Sunset was getting at, and merely nodded. Might as well go along with it.
She nodded and let Sunset walk her over to the doorway. Upon arrival, the three mares stepped back and fell to their haunches, expectantly.
Sunset cleared her throat. “Twilight,” she proclaimed. “Starlight, Pinkie, Maud. Starlight, Pinkie, Maud, Twilight.”
Twilight gave a light wave, and Pinkie started to blush profusely.
“Awwww...” she muttered. “She's so cute !”
Twilight returned the blush in full as she mined putting a lock of hair behind her ear, except she didn't have hands, or ears in the same place, and her hair was all up, so she ultimately ended up just conking herself in the head and knocking her glasses askew.
“Whoa there,” Sunset warned, adjusting them with her magic. “Not used to that either, are you?”
“Ugh!” Twilight cried, gently rubbing the side of her face. “How do you ponies deal with these blocks at the ends of your arms?”
The four looked at each other for a moment before all simultaneously saying “Magic.”
“Unicorns use levitation, mostly,” Starlight explained. “And earth pony magic allows them to grip things with their hooves differently. You, uh...”
“As a unicorn your hooves aren't gonna be of much use,” Sunset continued. “Technically you should be able to use magic, but since you never have you probably won't be. Actually-” she turned to her saddlebag and pulled out a necklace with a violet crystal attached, draping it over Twilight’s neck.
Maud’s eyes imperceptibly widened. “Is that the other geode you mentioned?” she asked, sounding unexcited as could be.
“Whoa there, sis, calm down there! You're gonna scare her like that!”
“I apologize, but I am incredibly curious as to see this in action. I've never seen crystals with these properties.”
“I tested out mine earlier,” Sunset said. “It at least works the same way, but I’m not sure about yours.”
Twilight raised a brow. “On whom?”
Starlight raised her hoof. “I volunteered.”
“I know how to become an effective cult leader now, so there’s that.” Sunset winked at Starlight.
“Oh come on, that was one time!”
“We’re ba~ack!” Twilight cried with Ember in tow.
The five mares turned to face the Princess and the Lord, and Twilight’s breath hitched as her gaze zeroed in on the dragon.
“Hey, Twi, it’s cool, she’s-”
“A real life actual dragon...” she breathed. “You didn’t tell me there were going to be dragons!”
“What about Spike?”
“Spike doesn’t count.”
/x/x/x/
Spike laid down in his bean bag chair reading his book when suddenly he felt a sharp, stabbing sensation emanating from somewhere in his pride.
/x/x/x/
Ember glanced between the two Twilights. “Oh,” she muttered. “I see what you mean.”
“Oh, Twilight, you’re awake!” Twilight cried. “And I see you’ve met some of the other girls. This is wonderful!”
“Yeah, I’m sorry I kinda passed out,” Twilight said with a nervous chuckle. “But yes, I just got introduced to these girls. Or, um... mares. We haven’t had much opportunity to chat yet.”
“Well, that’s what we’re all here for!” Twilight exclaimed, adjusting her wings. “To make new friends and good memories!”
Pinkie looked between the two Twilights. “This is confusing, you both sound exactly alike.”
“At least Princess Twilight has wings,” Starlight said. “When the two of us crossed over it was so much harder to keep in mind that they were different Twilights. Rainbow and Sunset here had the bright idea of making them switch outfits for the sake of pranking me.”
“Oh my gosh!” Pinkie started cackling. “Classic Dashie!”
“That was certainly fun,” Twilight said, adjusting her glasses. Gentler this time. “I like being a part of the practical joke rather than on the receiving end of one.”
“Oooh, oooh, ooh, I wanna go next time!” Pinkie shouted, waving her hoof in the air. “Please can I go, Twilight!? I won’t tell everypony about Equestria!”
Sunset pursed her lips. It was hard enough to handle one Pinkie Pie, let alone two Pinkie Pies. And when Twilight told her about the incident with forty-five (or was it forty-six) Pinkie Pies, she had shuddered so hard she very nearly slipped a disk.
“Pinkie would probably really like that” Twilight said.
“Yes, I would really really like that!”
“No, the... the other Pinkie...”
Maud gently nodded her head. “How similar is the Pinkie from your world?”
“Better question,” Pinkie interjected, “is the Maud from your world just as cool and fun and awesome!?”
Twilight glanced at Sunset, who shrugged. She looked back and affirmed, “Yes.”
“Alright, girls!” Princess Twilight authoritatively stated. “I understand you’re all excited to meet and hang out with Twilight, and with Sunset, but may I ask all of you except for, well, anypony named Twilight, to take a few steps back please?”
Starlight and Maud shared a knowing glance before joining the rest of the group in the movement, leaving the center open with the two Twilights.
“Wh- what’s happening?” Twilight asked, despite knowing the answer. The back of her neck suddenly felt very hot, and she glanced back behind Sunset at the leering Midnight Sparkle standing behind her.
“It’s okay,” Sunset cautioned. “It’s called magical decontamination. You haven’t been here before so Princess Twilight’s just gonna run a quick spell on you to make sure there isn’t any residue of dark magic on you. You know, like with Gloriosa Daisy?”
Twilight nodded before swallowing, and turned her head back to face forward. Her pulse suddenly skyrocketed, and found she wasn’t getting enough air through her nostrils alone. She watched as the other Twilight levitated a black velvet box open, and six crystals of different colors came out, arranging them on the ground around her. She could distinctly smell ozone, sulfur, and garlic. In her peripheral vision she saw Starlight’s horn begin to glow.
Twilight then clenched her eyes shut, and waited for the end.
“It really is a shame...”
Twilight shook her head to either side as she focused her mind on her friends and family. Rarity. Cadance. Rainbow Dash. Spike. Fluttershy. Her Parents. Applejack. Shining Armor. Pinkie Pie. Sunset. She cycled through all of the images of things she did with all of them, holding onto the memories as a high pitched whine rang through the air.
Suddenly she felt something touch her chest, and she cried out in shock. Her eyes snapped open and she looked down at the tube of magical energy surging through her body, coming out her side and into Starlight’s horn, and she started to hyperventilate. Everything around her was glowing neon. The blurry images of all of the ponies and dragon sitting around her blended and faded together. The odor intensified.
Words started echoing in her head, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. Hot tears pooled and streaked down her face, and Twilight’s difficulty breathing only got worse. Every muscle in her body collapsed, but she found she didn’t hit the floor, but was in fact suspended in the air. Her ears started ringing, threatening to overwhelm all of her other senses. Her vision started to go black.
“You’re going to die.”
In an instant, all of the stimulus died, and Twilight felt her body laid gently down on the ground. She blinked several times but couldn’t see anything. Her ears continued to ring, and she still smelled the disgusting blend of rotten eggs and rancid garlic. Breathing was not happening, as she was acutely and painfully aware of all the tubes in her throat and inner ears down her chest. She tasted blood.
Through it all, the tears continued to fall.
“...ot breathing, Twili...”
“..ver happened befo...”
“...ill crying, why the fu...”
Voices continued to echo, the ringing growing in intensity. She felt something pressing in on her side. Maybe. She couldn’t tell. Her tongue shifted. Everything was still dark. She heard shouting. Still couldn’t breathe. Midnight was laughing. This was it.
“Twilight,”
She recognized that voice, it was Sunset.
“Twilight, I need you to breathe.”
As if on command, her body cooperated. She felt a fleshy mass at the back of her throat move, and she gasped for breath. Her vision started to come back, but all she could see was yellow.
“This will all be over soon, okay?”
Twilight somewhere found the strength to nod, and she continued breathing as Sunset told her to do. She trusted her. She didn’t feel dead so she must not have died. If she was dead there was no way Sunset would be there too because Sunset had nothing to do with the process.
“There’s nothing to be afraid of, you’ll be fine.”
Twilight blinked again, and she could see a fuzzy outline that looked vaguely Sunset Shimmer-ish. The ringing was gone, and all she could hear was the encouraging voice. Her breathing returned to normal. Everything felt better. Her throat was still a little bit raw, though.
“How are you feeling?”
Twilight shifted her head and looked at the space around Sunset. She could see other figures, shadows, but only the outlines. No colors. Twilight blinked again and brought her vision back to Sunset. She licked her lips and tried to speak, but no words came out.
“Do you want to move from where you are?”
Twilight shook her head no to the best of her abilities. She didn’t want to leave, she wanted to stay right here with Sunset. Sunset meant safety. Safety was good. The black was bad.
“Someone get a glass of water. She’s out of the woods but her throat probably isn’t feeling too good. Hey, Twilight, you’re going to be okay. I’m right here, all right?”
Twilight nodded, and moved her hoof to wrap around Sunset’s. She could breathe again, and she couldn’t feel her lungs anymore, so that was probably good. Her memories started to reform as well.
“Hey, can you tell me the last thing you remember?”
“Glow...” Twilight tried to roll to her hands and knees, but she stumbled as soon as she remembered that she no longer had hands and knees to roll to. Warm, comforting arms wrapped around her. “Loud. Black. Midnight. Sulfur. Pony. Sunset.”
“That’s really good,” Sunset said, voice closer now. “Can you tell me if this has ever happened before?”
“No...” Twilight nuzzled closer into the protective blanket enclosing her, too warm and fuzzy to be arms. “Never before. Frightening. Thought I was dying...”
“You’re not dying, Twilight, you’re okay. I think you just had a panic attack from the shock of seeing the magic. It’s my fault, I’m the one who wanted Princess Twilight to do the spell.” The embrace tightened. “I’m so sorry...”
“It’s fine,” Twilight assuaged, pressing her muzzle deeper into what she deduced to be Sunset’s chest. “You didn’t know what would happen. I still love you... you should be mad at me.”
Flashes of the photographs on Twilight’s computer flashed through her mind before being buried by guilt.
“I could never be mad at you, Twilight. You haven’t done anything wrong. Oh, thanks. Twilight, Starlight brought a glass of water. Are you thirsty? Can you drink?”
Twilight gently nodded and allowed herself to be moved. A glass found its way to her mouth, and she started to sip. After a moment she brought a hoof up to tap the glass, sending it away. She blinked and scrunched her eyes.
“I can’t see.”
She felt familiar glasses frames slip behind her ears, and she blinked, vision having returned. Around her she could see the other mares with looks of concern etched on their faces. Princess Twilight especially looked incredibly guilty, crying as she placed a hoof against her mouth.
“What...” She shook her head. “What happened?”
The doors slammed open as Spike came running in.
“Twilight!” He cried, rushing to Princess Twilight’s side. “Are you okay? What happened? I heard you screaming!”
“...it wasn’t me...” Princess Twilight whispered before turning and running out of the room.
“Starlight!” Sunset commanded. “Go to her, I’ve got this.”
Starlight nodded and complied, rushing out after the Princess. Spike gave a look of contempt to Twilight before turning and following.
“...I was screaming?”
Sunset sighed. “You screwed your eyes shut and started crying, then you opened them and started to scream, yes. I think seeing the magic just put you in a state of shock. You gave off all the symptoms of panic attacks, so I just did what the psych textbooks at school say to do.” She gave one brief, weak chuckle. “And you call it soft science...”
Twilight wiped at the wet streaks on her facial fur. “My opinion on the science hasn’t changed, but... I respect your interest more now. ...thank you.”
“Of course, Twilight,” Sunset said, pulling her in for a hug. “I love you too, by the way.”
‘Oh shit, I did say that... hmm... maybe now more than ever is the best time to tell her.’
“Sunset... I-”
BOOM!
“Rainbow Dash has entered the building!” Exactly two seconds passed before- “Twilight? Where are your wings?”
/x/x/x/
“Twilight?” Starlight asked, nudging open the bathroom door. Inside, the purple alicorn princess was sobbing and hiding underneath her wings.
“How could I do that to her?” She whimpered.
“You didn’t know she was gonna flip out like that,” Starlight assured, sitting behind her and rubbing a hoof on her spine. “That was one hundred percent not your fault.”
“But-”
“But nothing. Sunset’s the one who asked you to do it, so if anything it’s her fault.”
“Sunset didn’t do anything wrong!” Twilight yelled, wings aflare.
Starlight remained impassive, merely nodding. “And neither did you. See?”
Twilight breathed heavily for a moment before sitting back down, wings drooping to the ground. “...I still feel so bad... I should have told her what it would look like...”
“She’s been through a lot of magical trauma, so I doubt telling her that would have made it any easier. But hey, look on the bright side. No dark magic. She’s totally fine!”
Twilight nodded, numb. “I guess... I just...” she sighed. “I just hate feeling so helpless when the ponies around me are hurt. I just... I froze. When Tempest came, when the Princesses went down, I just stood there and watched. I didn’t know they were still alive. I thought they were dead. And I just... I just froze. She would have got me too, but I was lucky enough to be saved.”
“Yeah, I know,” Starlight said, stepping closer. “You sent her a muffin basket. What does that have to with this?”
“What kind of princess am I if I can’t even help the ponies right in front of me?” She asked. “What would happen if there was another international crisis? What would happen if the Dreadstone terrorists came to Ponyville and it was up to me to save one of my friends and I froze at the last minute, and they di... they d...” Twilight shuddered as a fresh batch of tears began to fall. “I can’t just rely on my friends to save everypony for me. I don’t deserve these wings...”
“Oh, that’s a load of shit.”
Twilight blinked, unused to her friend’s vulgar language.
“What, you think that just because you freeze when there’s danger it means anything bad on your character? That it makes you weak, or helpless? No... it means you empathize so hard with the plights of others that it literally stops you in your tracks when they could be hurt. That doesn’t make you weak, Twilight. It means you have a strong heart.”
“But... but I... what if next time somepony dies because of me?”
Starlight shrugged. “Sometimes ponies die.”
Twilight gaped.
“Let me put it this way,” Starlight continued. “Let’s say somepony attacked me. It was sudden and it came from out of nowhere. You were in the room but it happened so fast that neither of us had any time to react, and they killed me. That isn’t your fault. My hypothetical assailant would be at fault there, for choosing to attack me.”
“What about something like a panic attack!” She volleyed.
“Then the panic attack was predetermined by destiny or whatever and you wouldn’t be able to do anything anyway. But the best you could do would be to read up on what to do if something like that happens and prepare for it accordingly. If Sunset hadn’t read up on that back at high school over on the other side of the mirror, she wouldn’t have been able to do anything, and Twilight would probably be in a worse place than she is right now. Or Twilight would have found the strength to pull through. Or any number of things would have happened. And if, Creator forbid, she did die from it, it would be no more your fault than Sunset’s fault, or even my own. You seem to forget that I was the lightning rod.”
Twilight simply kicked a hoof on the ground.
“Look, Twi...” Starlight came over and bent down so she could look her teacher in the eye. “I understand that you feel responsible. It’s a very strong feature of yours that I heavily admire and covet. But responsibility can go too far. Besides that fact, think of all the ponies you did save. You alone rescued your sister in law and stopped Chrysalis. You saved Stygian. You saved the entire Crystal Empire, and took part in saving it a different time. You saved Princess Luna. You saved Sunset. And... you saved me.”
A small smile came to Twilight’s lips at that.
“As for Tempest, you eventually stopped the Storm King. Right? Doesn’t matter that you were saved. If he’d have gotten you, well... I told you about how Discord and I hid out and were just about to execute our own plan when you guys showed up in a cake. But you were saved because you do so much good for the ponies of this town, and all across Equestria. You saved everyone from that mole rat slave trader, then you saved everyone from falling out of a zeppelin, and then because of how you helped out the pirates, they saved your flanks. You don’t need to be strong, you don’t need to be powerful. You’ve showed me time and time again that sometimes, all you need to save somepony’s life is to be their friend. It’s the greatest lesson I ever learned... and I was lucky enough to learn it firsthoof”
Twilight leaned forward into Starlight’s embrace.
“Thank you...”
“Any time, Princess...” Starlight said with a smile of her own. “I owe you a lot, so I’m only happy to return the favor. But, um... maybe we should go check and make sure the other Twilight’s okay first.”
“Oh my gosh!” Twilight cried, scrambling backwards and unfurling her wings. “You’re right! I’ve been so foolish, I can help more out there than crying in the bathroom!”
Starlight stepped back and waved her forward, following past the gust of wind left behind. When she left the bathroom, she encountered a very out-of-breath dragon.
“Did... Twi... light... just... leave... for... real?”
Starlight chuckled. “Come on, get up here,” she said, grabbing him with her magic. “I’ll teleport us back.” She heard no complaints and did such.
/x/x/x/
One hour later...
/x/x/x/
Rarity stepped into the cutie map room to quite a full house. The last to arrive, as was her custom, she managed to search out the room and identity the groups, at who was talking to whom. Rainbow Dash, in the air, was the first she spotted, who was hovering next to Ember and Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie was practically riding Maud, who was speaking to Starlight and Trixie. Applejack was embroiled in a conversation with Twilight, another unicorn she couldn’t quite recognize, and Twilight.
Wait a minute.
Rarity blinked a few times and glanced harder, confirming that she did indeed see two Twilight Sparkles. One sans wings. Maybe a time travel spell gone wrong, or another excursion to the mirror pool? Nonsense, both ideas were implausible and neither explained the glasses.
“Rarity!” the winged Twilight called, waving a hoof. Both of the other unicorns looked up and smiled. Rarity returned it and cantered over, waving at Fluttershy as she passed. When she finally arrived, Twilight wrapped a foreleg around her.
“Rarity, this is Sunset Shimmer, and Twilight Sparkle.”
“A pleasure,” she said with a gracious nod. “You must be the Sunset Shimmer from behind the crystal mirror, and...”
This other Twilight nervously giggled and blushed. “I’m the Twilight Sparkle from the human world,” she explained. “I’m actually really close friends with the other you.”
“Yeah, me too,” Sunset said. “It’s nice to see that this side’s Rarity is just as beautiful as the one that I know.” She winked.
Rarity blinked. She blinked again. And then she blushed profusely.
“Well now,” she managed to eak out, ignoring Applejack’s feeble attempts to hide her laughter. “It’s nice to see that you’re well versed in flattery. That silver tongue will definitely take you places.”
Sunset gave a weird look to the bespectacled Twilight, who rolled her eyes.
“Shut up...” she whispered. “You’re worse than Rainbow Dash when it comes to mares.”
Sunset bumped rumps with her, and the two nearly fell to the ground laughing.
“Wow, uh...” Applejack scratched the back of her head. “Maybe it was a mistake to bring the hard cider.”
Princess Twilight snapped her gaze to the farmer. “Wait, those were the hard ciders?”
Applejack raised a brow. “Uh... yeah. The soft cider is only sold once a year.”
A small ‘o’ of recognition formed on the princess’s face as she reevaluated her human-world friends’ markedly more sociable and boisterous behavior in a different light. “AJ, you realize these girls haven’t really drank any actual alcohol in years, and they’re just teenagers, and that’s 60 proof, right?”
Applejack shrugged. “I’ve been drinkin’ hard cider since I was Applebloom’s age. Ain’t like it’s illegal over there.”
“It IS illegal over there!”
Applejack slowly nodded. “Oh. Uh. I messed up.”
“It tastes just as good as the other Applejack’s cider...” Twilight nuzzled Sunset. “Maybe better.”
Sunset snickered. “I’m gonna tell AJ you said that.”
“You better not!”
“Yeah...” Applejack backed away slowly. “I’m just gonna have RD take the rest somewhere else...” And with that she left the conversation, only to be replaced by Starlight.
“Few too many?” She asked. “Hi Rarity.”
“They’ve only had one each,” Princess Twilight indicated. “They’re just more used to the human world’s drinks.”
“Hey Star,” Sunset said at rather than to her. “What say you and I... discuss friendship... upstairs?”
“ALL RIGHT!” Princess Twilight cried, grabbing Sunset’s ear with her magic. “You need some coffee and you need it now!” She dragged the winking Sunset out of the room, leaving a flushed Starlight, a flushed Rarity, and a very depressed Twilight.
“Hey sugarcube,” Applejack said, pushing through the other mares. “What’s gotcha down all of a sudden?”
Twilight sighed. “Wouldn’t you be sad if you were flirting with your crush but they thought you were just being friendly and then flirted with someone else right in front of you?”
“Uh...” Applejack adjusted her hat. “I don’t really have much experience with romance.”
Starlight pursed her lips. “Hey, Twilight, you haven’t seen the skies over Equestria, have you? Princess Luna decorates the stars in the most beautiful patterns, and I heard you were into astronomy.”
Her sadness dissipated as quickly as it came, replaced by the hopeful glint of knowledge. “That sounds fun!”
Starlight beamed at her before leading her off into the next room over, leaving Applejack and Rarity alone.
“Y’all sure took your sweet time gettin’ here,” Applejack teased. “What, didja come halfway to the castle then realize yer eyeshadow was the wrong shade?”
“At least I look good in the right shade of eyeshadow,” she volleyed back with a playful nudge. “But alas, it was merely a business venture. Sassy Saddles’ grandmother passed recently and her wake and funeral are scheduled for this weekend. I was putting together final preparations on my last orders. I’ll take care of them tomorrow so the day after I have no obligations prior to my train ride.”
“Y’all are goin’ a day early?”
“Wouldn’t you want support from your friends during those circumstances?”
Applejack pursed her lips. “Right. When Granny passes, I... I know I’d want y’all to be there for me.”
“And we will.”
The two mares hugged.
/x/x/x/
In the next room over, a very inebriated Sunset was drinking coffee straight out of the carafe as Twilight’s eyes bugged out of her skull. She was in huge danger of losing the title ‘fastest coffee drinker in Equestria’ but figured that it was worth sparing Starlight some public humiliation.
“There’s a time and a place, Sunset.”
She drained the last precious drops of bean nectar before slamming it down, cracking the glass. “Another!” she cried.
Twilight lifted the glass and cast a quick repair spell before slipping it back into the machine. “In a minute. Did you hear me?”
“Mmhmm, time and... relative dimension... in space. You are so pretty.”
“Ahaha, haha... you’re absolutely not that drunk.”
Sunset snickered. “I mean it. Both of you are great. If Twilight wasn’t a human, I’d totally get with her. She really likes me, you know? But human girls are just not sexy. They’re so unfuckable.” She frowned. “At least human guys have dicks. But they’re so small. I hate it, Twilight, I hate being so...” she snickered again. “Ehehe, it’s funny because unicorns have horns.”
Twilight sighed before stepping over and wrapping a hoof around her drunk friend’s shoulders. “I can’t say empathise, but I can sympathise. And need I remind you that my offer still stands to set you up with a long distance relationship if you just say the word?”
Sunset nodded. “I know but... it would be best if I don't.” She slumped her head over the countertop and started tracing the patterns with her hoof. “It's not that I wanna be alone... but I should get a full handle on friendship before I tackle romance. You know?”
“I understand,” Twilight said, wrapping a wing around her. “So why are you flirting with Starlight?”
She shrugged. “We fucked before. I was hoping maybe we could again.”
Silence.
“Oh!” Twilight cried in surprise. “That makes sense. I was not aware of that... well... once everypony goes home and the castle’s empty, you might have a chance then...”
Sunset gave a weak chuckle. “Hopefully...”
The coffee machine buzzed, the heat-activated sonic resonance of the crystals indicating that the pot was finished brewing. Twilight turned and brought the glass case to Sunset’s hoof. She glanced at it, grabbed it with her magic, and attempted to chug, but found nothing was coming out.
“Twiiiiiliiiiight... it's broken...”
“It's too hot!”
“... you're too hot.”
“SUNSET!”
/x/x/x/
Above them in the observatory, Twilight ooh’d and aah’d at all of the astrological implements scattered about the room. It put her own telescope to absolute shame, and the had one of the highest end ones on the market for anybody who wasn't NASA.
“Eeheeheehee...” she gleefully muttered. “This is just marvelous... can I live here?”
“Well, I’m sure you could stay the night here if you want to. Living here will be complicated. Won't you miss your family?”
Twilight shrugged. “I can always visit them.”
“Your friends will miss you.”
“...will they?”
Starlight froze. Those two words were full of more pain than any she had heard in a long, long time.
“Twilight?”
“Hmm?”
The natural born unicorn stepped towards the displaced human and fell to her haunches.
“Twilight. Can you look at me for a second?”
She complied, if begrudgingly.
“If your human friends are anything like the pony friends I've made here, I know for a fact that they would miss you. And from what I've seen and heard, they're all pretty similar. Wouldn't you agree?”
Twilight shrugged.
Starlight brought her foreleg up and placed it around the sad, drunk unicorn’s shoulders. “We’ll put a pin in that, then. But I'm gonna ask you something else. When Sunset said what she said to me, it looked like she just bragged about kicking Spike. Can I make a guess as to why?”
Twilight sighed. “Because I love her and stuff but she only has eyes for mares.”
“Wow, I was... right on the money.”
“It's fine, she doesn't have to like me back... I just need to get over this stupid crush.”
“How long have you liked Sunset for?”
“Since she saved me from Midnight.”
Starlight pursed her lips at that. That was a little longer than since the other Twilight saved her. Three years plus change. Quite a long time for it to just be a little crush. Nearly Spike levels of devotion, it was.
“How long have you liked her for?” She asked, striking the pink unicorn completely by surprise.
“Uh... well...” this was awkward. “Truth is, I don't like her like her like that. I mean, she's cute and she knows her way around my- well, let's just say that she's really good and knows what she’s doing and I totally enjoy casual- alright look.” She inhaled. “What we have is purely a physical thing. We don't love each other. She just...” and sighed.
Twilight placed her head on her hooves, awkwardly putting her rear legs to either side. Clearly she would need to be put through some basic etiquette training because her- wait a minute.
“Okay, I got it!” Starlight cried. “Sunset and I have this thing going where I can affirm her as a mare. She needs that from somepony and I'm more than willing to offer it. I'm sure you know what it's like to be in the wrong body, in a couple ways. Imagine if you were in a situation where nopony saw you as, say, a girl, and Sunset wasn’t able to help you feel like one.”
Twilight grunted.
“You two have more in common than I think you realize sometimes. I get how you're feeling, kind of. My friend, Sunburst, I really wanted to rekindle our friendship after it had effectively died. But it seemed to me like he was better friends with all of my other friends.”
“You're getting way too relatable, Star...”
“That's the point. Would you think it was fair if Sunset held it against whoever you had to affirm your identity because you didn't spend that time with Sunset? Would you be upset with your other friends if they spent more time with Sunset than you did?”
Twilight sighed. “I'd be upset but not at them...”
“Okay. So... what's the problem here?”
Twilight groaned and rolled over. “I like Sunset but I also like Rainbow and Rarity and Fluttershy, and I kinda like Pinkie and Applejack too. But they all have other people. Sunset has you, Rainbow has every gay girl in the district, Rarity has boyfriends, Fluttershy has her special friend and Sunset, Pinkie has everybody, and Applejack... I don't know, we don't even get to talk much because we have nothing in common. ‘Hey, Applejack, wanna talk about quantum entanglement theory?’ ‘Well gee Twilight, I’d love to, but I don't know the first thing about quanti-watchamacallit, do you wanna talk about apples instead?’”
“Applejack has other interests.”
“I know! And I don't wanna be mean... but I just don't know how to have a normal conversation with her, or with anybody. I only know how to infodump about science and ramble on for hours about my special interests and complain about how shitty and terrible my life is and how gay I am. I never learned how to talk to people like a normal girl!”
Starlight couldn't help but let a chuckle escape. “You're preaching to the choir here, Twi. All I knew was how to enslave ponies to do my bidding and steal a time travel spell. I once brainwashed all of the girls so I could hang out with all of them at the same time more easily. I'll never forget the earful Twilight gave me for that one... but I understand what it's like to feel like an outcast. Like nopony understands you. Like the only pony who’d ever wanna hang out with you is the person obligated to reform you because it’s their duty. But you gotta believe me when I say that there’s always ponies out there who will enjoy spending time with you. You just gotta find your Trixie.”
“But I want Sunset to be my Trixie...”
The sober unicorn grimaced before glancing out the window. This clearly wasn’t working. What could she do? Twilight was clearly depressed, that much was certain. She has a whole dearth of other issues to boot, not least of which she was probably autistic too, since she had mentioned special interests in the context she did. Sunset told her an overview, so there was definitely some social isolation. There had to be something else too, some final puzzle piece that would tell her exactly what she would need to say to get Twilight out of this funk, but she just couldn’t see it.
“Look...” She said, laying down next to Twilight and facing up at the ceiling. “I wanna say what you wanna hear and make you feel happy, but I can’t. Tough love seems to be my specialty, heh. But sometimes we can’t have what we want. Sunset isn’t going to be your Trixie. Sunset is your Twilight. She’s the one who pulled you out of the pit, and it would be asking too much of her to expect her to be your shepherd too. What you have with her now, a close friendship with somepony who cares so much about you but maybe not in the way you want her to... sometimes you just gotta take the silver lining and run. She’s a good friend. That should be enough.” She turned her head to see that Twilight was crying again.
“I know...” she croaked. “I know that I should be happy for what I have. But... all these thoughts in my head tell me it’s not enough. That I’m not enough. That I don’t deserve them as friends. That they deserve better than me. I want to be happy with them. I want to be happy having them as friends. I’m just... not. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to not hate myself because I can’t figure out something as simple as getting over a stupid crush. I’m smarter than this, I should know what to do...”
“Hey.”
Twilight turned to meet Starlight’s warm, compassionate eyes.
“You ARE enough. You’re more than enough. Fact you were born means you deserve to be happy. What’s the worst you did, got curious about magic and had it swallow you? Please. Nothing bad you ever did or could have done is nearly as bad as what I did, or even what Sunset herself did. And we deserve happiness, and we got it. Right? You’re in the same boat. You deserve it too. You do deserve to be happy, and have friends, and they deserve to have you in their lives, because I’m sure you enrich them.”
Twilight merely bit her lip. Maybe what she did to Sunset wasn’t as bad as enslaving her and turning her into a zombie, but it was still bad. Still, Starlight did have a point. Logic prevailed over emotion yet again. Her brain was merely swimming in a hormonal soup and affecting her judgment. Yes, that was clearly the problem. Teenage hormones. She vowed to go delete those pictures as soon as she got home, and move on from there.
“Thank you...”
“It’s no problem at all, Twilight. Now come on, let’s get back to everyone else. I ordered cupcakes and they should be in soon.” She rolled to her hooves and outstretched one leg. “Once you and Sunset are sober again we should be heading out. You okay to walk?”
Twilight took the outstretched leg and after a moment of flailing hit solid ground. She was feeling less tipsy by now. “Yeah... thanks for talking to me.”
“You’re a lot of fun to hang out with, Twilight.” Starlight flashed a smile. “One day, when you find your Trixie, she’s going to appreciate the heck out of you. And remember, just because Sunset and I have a physical relationship that goes beyond friendship, doesn’t mean that what you two have is any less important or valuable, okay?”
Twilight nodded. “...okay.”
“Good. And, uh, don’t worry, I’ll definitely teach you how to use this thing later tonight. I did kinda lead you here under false pretenses.”
“That’s fine, you did what you had to do to get me in better spirits. And... I appreciate that.”
“No problem. Now let’s get a cupcake before Pinkie eats them all.”
“Wow, the counterparts really are similar...”
/x/x/x/
“Okay Soarin, everything’s cool. Everything’s fine. No big deal. These things happen. He’s not gonna shoot the messenger or anything, no, he’s gonna take it pretty well. We got stuff put in place for this kinda situation. Zebranda’s still gonna be safe, it’s chill. It’s not my fault it wasn’t done right. It was totally that hippogriff’s fault, one hundred and twenty percent. Heh, listen to me, sounding like Crash. No! Focus! Get in there, let him know, get out, get back to practice, no big deal. Everything’s fine. Everything’s cool.”
“You gonna stand outside my office all day, first lieutenant?”
Soarin gulped before pushing the door open.
“Hey... boss...”
A large and imposing wooden desk sat in the center of the room. The walls were covered in boxes of medals, framed certificates, and multiple armor stands with uniforms behind walls of glass. A nameplate reading ‘Champagne Corkscrew’ sat at the front of the desk, and behind it was a mean looking pegasus with a scar under his left eye. His auburn hair buzzed military style sat perfectly even atop his pale brown coat, adorned in the standard uniform for the Equestrian Air Force. His hooves were clopped together, covering his mouth as he hunched over in his chair and glared at the wall.
“What do you have for me?”
Soarin nervously adjusted the clipboard in his wing towards his open hoof, and he slowly hovered towards the desk. He could see the blue officer’s uniform freshly pressed, pins attached freshly polished. Champagne was very particular about his physical appearance, and was absolutely obsessed with order. Soarin was suddenly made acutely aware of the fact that his collar was slightly off kilter, and sweat beaded on his forehead.
“I, uh... have the mission results from the Zambezi incident.”
He slipped the clipboard onto the desk, sliding it towards the Lieutenant Colonel, as the silver oak leaf pinned to his shoulder attested to. The solitary silver bar pinned to Soarin’s own shoulder paled in comparison to it, quivering under the higher rank. The Wonderbolt darted his eyes around the room, seeking out escape options for when the boss went nuclear. After all, the mushroom cloud cutie mark was very fitting for his temper.
It was only then that Champagne looked anywhere but the far wall, and quickly scanned the report. He was methodical and slow, and when he finally finished, he resumed the glare. He placed his hooves on the table, and pressed in, pushing his entire body back to proper posture. Soarin swallowed again as he prepared for the tongue lashing of a lifetime.
“Well, this is unfortunate. Mission failure.”
Oh hey, that was actually pretty mild-
Champagne slid everything from his desk onto the floor, wings flaring. “WHEN I GET MY HOOVES ON THAT MISERABLE FAILURE OF AN ASSASSIN I’M GONNA FIND A WAY TO TURN HIS FACE EVEN MORE BLUE!”
“Boss-”
“Put out an APB on Krill. That dumb son of a bitch will just about cost me my job, and I refuse to have my ass chewed for his fuckup. Now YOU, first lieutenant, are gonna tell your captain that you’ll be taking a break from your fancy flying tricks until this hippogriff is dead, do you hear me? D E A D dead! I want him in a body bag by tomorrow sundown, am I clear!?”
“Sir, yes sir!” Soarin chanted, snapping a salute. Well, he figured, at least Thunderlane wouldn’t be bored tomorrow. He’ll be stoked to hear that. Of course, he won’t be as stoked to hear that it’s because Soarin himself suddenly got stricken with a horrible case of the feather flu.
“Now get out of my office unless you feel like organizing my desk.”
He didn’t even need to finish his sentence before he found himself in solitude.
“Well this sucks...” Soarin muttered as he dejectedly flapped his way to the front desk. “APB on Krill,” he said to the unicorn on desk ops. “LC Cork’s orders.”
The mare sighed and flipped her long pink hair. In a heavy Prench accent, she spoke. “So ze hippogriff has failed, I take it.” She then took a bite of salad.
Soarin shrugged. “Yeah, Fleur, I guess he has. You know, can I ask you how smart it is to put out a hit on an ultranationalist hippogriff with terrorist ties and his claws on the most powerful weapon in all of Equestria?”
“You are not paid to ask questions. You are paid to keep your mouth shut.”
“Fair point... can you pen a message to Spits?”
“You are terribly sick with ze feather flu and cannot make it to ze Wonderbolts practise.”
He clopped the table twice. “You’re the mare, Fleur! I owe you. How about coffee this friday?”
“I don’t drink coffee,” she said, taking a sip of coffee.
“Worth a shot...” he said, only a small amount of dejection showing through. “Well, I’m off to do some paperwork, I’ll leave you to your work.”
“Yes. You will.” She took another bite of her salad, watching as he flew away. “...flyboy...” a small smile graced her lips.
Just another day in the Equestrian Black Ops.
/x/x/x/
Author's Note
(edit- this is not fully an official chapter of this fic: it's a chapter of another fic, The Dragonbourne Identity, that just so happens to take place at the same time with the same characters. apologies for the confusion!)
Here it is, the fateful branch chapter. Not only is this chapter the next instance in TFW, it is also the jumping off point for a separate fic, The Dragonbourne Identity. It follows the events that occur in Equestria during the rest of TFW. You'll understand why in the final chapter. You don't have to read The Dragonbourne Identity to continue to enjoy this fic. However, its eventual sequel The Dragonbourne Supremacy is a sequel to this fic as well, and this fic is suggested reading for that fic. They are an homage to the Jason Bourne films. If you are interested in the plot arcs brought up, [here] is a link to it.
Watchmen references abound. The views expressed by Spike the Dragon do not indicate the views expressed by the author. A cookie will be awarded to whoever guesses what the magidecon crystals represent. I love Ember. I love Maud. No, Twinkie shippers, Pinkie Pie is not flirting with Twilight. RIP Spike's pride. If y'all want I'll make a oneshot about when the Twilights swapped. Featuring Rainbow 'Cockblocker' Dash. Oh yes, the movie is canon, it's official, and YOU get PTSD and YOU get PTSD and YOU get PTSD! Drunk Sunset is about as much of a lesbian as sober me. Applejack's applejack is applejacked. No, Granny Smith is not going to die. Sunset is a giant nerd who watches too many human movies and shows. I love Starlight, the Twilight whisperer. FLEURIN! FLEURIN! FLEURIN!
Sorry about the delay, I hope the extra length makes up for it. I know I said in my blog that I wasn't gonna be done until Friday but here we are. I won't publish TDI now probably (plus I think it goes against moderation rules but I'll reread them) but it's a fairly good time for exposure right now. I'll make an addendum in the blog. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Don't worry, the next will detail the nights for Twilight and Sunset, Rainbow and Applejack, Pinkie and Rarity, Fluttershy and Tree Hugger, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, Shining and Cadance. No clop, jfc get y'all's minds out of the gutter :P
TFW You Find Your Crush's Nudes
TFW You Realize Humans Don't Eat Hay
/x/x/x/
Twilight furrowed her brow at the plate sitting before her.
Around her the sounds of ponies talking drowned out the ambience. Clatters of metal on ceramic filled in the gaps. The greasy stench of charcoal and burnt hay assaulted her nostrils, but at least the lighting was pleasant. Easy on the eyes as it was all natural lanterns, no fluorescent bulbs like they had back home in the human world.
In the booth on her left sat her counterpart, the Princess of Friendship, and past her was the Dragon Lord. Across the table in front of her were the pony counterparts to her own group of friends, and to her right sat Sunset. Past her were the last few members of their party of a dozen. All were chatting amicably.
Twilight felt the frequent glances from at least one of them at any given moment. She didn't blame them. It wasn't every day that they saw two of the same pony sitting right next to each other. Granted it did happen sometimes, particularly with Pinkie Pie or an evil bug queen she’d have to ask several more questions about. But not all the time.
Out of the corner of her eyes beyond her glasses lenses, she managed to make out the fuzzy movements indicating the consumption of junk food. Even without, she could hear the oh-so-familiar voices of Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack through mouths that sounded full of food. Food that made her feel the slightest twinge of envy. And a slightly bigger twinge of hunger.
She clenched her jaw and focused on the useless nub sticking out of her forehead. Still nothing.
Twilight glanced to her sides. The other Twilight was enraptured in a discussion about taxes with the dragon, Ember. Sunset was answering some questions that this Rainbow Dash had about her own Rainbow Dash... Not that Rainbow belonged to her, exactly, that’s just the way she thought to distinguish the two.
She turned her vision back to glare at the burger on the plate before her. The fact that it was made of hay notwithstanding, it was still probably made of as much meat as most hamburgers back home. And a lot more appetizing now than it had been ten minutes ago. The only problem was eating it.
It should, in theory, be easy. Levitation was apparently the easiest spell to learn, especially for objects with low mass like food. Even the children here could do that! And yet here she was, unable to perform even the simplest feat of magic in the unicornian repertoire. She grit her teeth in frustration and sharply exhaled, blinking away the tear that threatened to spill over.
“Hey,” Sunset said, cutting off the conversation she was in the middle of. “Something wrong?”
Everyone at the table stopped speaking altogether and glued their eyes to the hair partially obscuring Twilight’s face. The insides of her limbs and the back of her neck felt hot, and she could hear her pulse. It was rapid, to say the least.
“N...no,” she replied, voice hoarse. No pun intended. “I just...” she swallowed and sighed. “I don't know how to pick this up.”
A moment of silence passed before she heard the start of a peal of laughter from what was quite unmistakably this world’s Rainbow Dash, cut off immediately by a firm smack.
“You don't wanna pick it up with your hooves and make a mess everywhere, huh?” Sunset asked. “I take it magic isn't exactly coming natural to you?”
Twilight nodded.
“That's okay, it'll take time and work. So uh... that doesn't leave you with much opportunity to eat anything.”
Twilight grimaced. “Well, you're not wrong.”
A teal blue aura enveloped the sandwich and lifted it in the air. Twilight brought her eyes to Sunset’s.
“Here, I’ll hold it if you want me to. You shouldn't have to go hungry just because of something like this. Honestly I thought you weren't eating it because it was made of hay, that's why I didn't say anything earlier.”
Twilight pursed her lips. A bead of perspiration slipped down her forehead as she tried not to notice the stares. “I’d appreciate that, but...” she glanced at the burger floating in front of her. “I'm not breaching any pony etiquette here, am I? It seems... well...”
Sunset patiently waited for a response.
“Eating using your magic isn't some kind of... weird intimacy thing over here, is it?” She finally asked, slightly lowering her head and volume of speech. “The silence feels awkward and oppressive and I feel like it's because of me...”
“Well sure, it can be intimate for some,” Rarity chimed in. “Especially in the Prench district of Canterlot. But I’ve fed Fluttershy with my magic before.”
“I've fed Rainbow,” said the other Twilight. “No big deal.”
“And I’ve fed Tri-” Starlight began before faltering, exchanging a nervous glance with a certain periwinkle unicorn, a single bead of sweat appearing on her forehead. “Eh... I mean... Maud... without it being romantic or anything like that.”
“Yeah, Twi, it’s only a big deal if you want it to be one.” Sunset moved her hoof to wrap around the bespectacled mare’s suddenly-tight shoulders. “We’re friends, so it's fine. Social norms are a little bit different here than they are at home.” She blinked. “Your home, I mean...”
Twilight pursed her lips. “I guess if you say so it must be so...” Her eyes darted around again. “It's just so weird to be in a body and a culture that's so... foreign.”
Behind her, Princess Twilight offered a quick wink obscured from everypony else at the table. In response, Sunset twitched the eye facing away from the rest of the party.
“Yeah...” she returned, cautiously at first before fully focusing her attention back on the food. “Going from human to pony can be disorienting when you do it at first. Learning about all of the differences in culture can be a lot too. It's like going to another country but ten times weirder.”
“Right... I have been to Estonia before,” Twilight offered. “And one time Nihon.”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “You would call it that, ya weeb.”
“It's what they call it!” She defended, not even close to privy to the looks of confusion she was now garnering. “At least it's not some horse pun like ‘Es-pony-a’ or ‘Ni-pony’... or Equestria!”
Sunset blinked before receding back into her chair. “Actually, there's... there's a city called Neighpon here.”
Twilight stared off into space as if there was a person with a camera filming her as her soul for one very brief moment astral projected itself all the way back through the mirror.
“With all seriousness, though,” Sunset continued, attempting to bring her back to the present. “It's not anything weird or romantic or anything if you don't want it to be. We’re just two friends sitting here, having dinner.”
Twilight was refocused with the immediacy of panic of when somebody shouts ‘fire’ in the middle of a crowded room. Externally she managed to remain neutral in her expression, but internally she could feel the metaphorical knife that's been embedded in her gut for months now twisting in place.
‘Right. Just... friends.’
“Well, technically it's two, four, six... twelve friends. But, eh, you know what I mean.”
Twilight gently nodded, hoping her melancholic grimace could successfully masquerade as the kind of awkward non-grin one would muster when at a friend’s house and trying to ignore the fact that said friend’s parents are screaming at each other in the next room, or another situation of comparable discomfort.
“Yeah, Suns, I... I know what you mean.”
A tiny smolder of fuzziness burned in Twilight’s belly as Sunset merely offered the same dazzling smirk she always did, brightening her mood quite considerably as she even managed to let out a nickname that went completely unnoticed. Her heart beat a little harder in her chest, which did feel strange as typically there was breast tissue there to muffle the feeling, but it was enough to distract her from the sadness that their relations were strictly platonic. Starlight’s words from earlier rang in her head, muffled slightly from the mild intoxication coloring her hearing at the time.
“Now come on,” Sunset said, pointing her horn at the accursed hayburger. The teal aura of her magic glowed brightly in the dim lantern light, enveloping both her horn and the sandwich. “Don'tcha wanna try the epitome of fine equestrian dining?”
Twilight positioned her neck to have easier access to the food. Her own vision flickered between the twelve pairs of eyes rooted on her own, briefly stopping at her dimensional counterpart, at her lilac adviser, and at the demon that had somehow followed her through the mirror and evaded both detection and capture, before coming to rest on Sunset’s compassionate gaze.
She set her jaw, nodded, and leaned forward. Sunset positioned it at the prime height for bite-taking without it feeling awkward; clearly she had done this before. Twilight felt her teeth sink into the bun, setting all kinds of warning bells off inside her head because, little known fact, human teeth are a fair bit differently shaped than horse teeth. Still, it wasn't too much of a difference, and before any time passed at all, a bite was taken.
She chewed gingerly, feeling the contradictory textures battling for dominance inside her mouth. The bun tasted good, like bread as any bun worth its salt should taste. The toppings were a standard and decent quality; the tomato was juicy, the onion bitey, the pickles vinegary, the lettuce... lettucey. In theory, all of that made for a pretty mediocre but not altogether unenjoyable burger just like from home. The problem, however... was the meat.
Or, to be exact, the most-definitely-not-meat.
Her eyes crinkled, her stomach turned, and the back of her throat threatened to implode upon itself, gag reflex in fight-or-flight mode. She stopped chewing and widened her mouth as far as it would go while staying closed. It literally tasted like dead, dried-up grass.
“Not good?” Sunset asked, trying to keep the mirth out of her voice.
Twilight merely nodded.
She immediately found a napkin covering her mouth, and took the opportunity to spit out the offending goop. She let out a small whine of pure unadulterated disgust once her mouth was free, and cursed her existence. A glass of water replete with a straw also materialized, and she gratefully guzzled it down, scrubbing her palate against the roof of her mouth.
“Not much for hay, huh?” Sunset asked.
Twilight drained the glass, and found her mouth was at least sufficiently clean enough to speak. “It tastes like that weird fake meat that Fluttershy has. But worse.”
“I actually like that stuff...” Sunset muttered.
“What?” Fluttershy asked from behind Sunset.
“No, darling,” Rarity whispered, setting a hoof on her confused friend’s shoulder. “Not you.”
“Gah!” Twilight scraped her tongue on the fur of her foreleg. “It's so bad! No offense everybody but how can you eat hay?”
Applejack shrugged. “We’re ponies, we grew up on it.”
“So what do humans eat instead of hay?” Pinkie asked. “Grass? Alfalfa? Clover? Oats?”
Twilight sucked down the rest of her water, privy to Sunset’s badly-hidden snickering but choosing to ignore it. “Among fruits, grains, vegetables, and the occasional cake... Meat.” She said, simply, to the utter shock and horror of the pony she answered.
“Rock on, little pony human dude,” Ember said from the other side of this world’s Twilight, digging into her fangs with a toothpick. “What kinds?”
“Mostly cow, chicken and other fowl, pig, fish and other small maritime creatures, sometimes goats and sheep,” Twilight continued despite the sudden drop in half the table’s attitudes as she went on. “Some places insects, deer, cats, dogs, buffalo, turtles, rabbits-”
“RABBITS!?” Fluttershy cried in horror.
“Turtles?” Rainbow muttered, growing defensive.
“Buffalo!?” Pinkie gasped, leaning back in revulsion.
“Dogs?” Applejack growled, leaning forward and squinting.
“...Cats?” Rarity asked, trailing off as her eyes glinted with a half-formed idea that was immediately squashed.
Twilight blinked. “Well... only in some places. I've never had any of those more exotic meats...”
“Girls, please,” Princess Twilight said from behind a piece of parchment she was scribbling on. “The animals of Terra are a different species entirely from the ones we know and love in Equestria. Angel, Tank, Prince Rutherford, Winona, and Opalescence would certainly not be on the menu.”
As the girls gently shook their heads and murmured in agreement, Ember stood up from the table.
“Em?” Princess Twilight asked.
“I need some air,” the Dragon Lord answered as she headed to the door. “Be right back.”
“I'm sorry everyone,” Twilight half-whispered. “I didn't think about what I said before I-”
“No biggie,” Sunset comforted, wrapping a hoof around her friend. “Ponies don't really eat meat at all, so asking a question like that is bound to get an answer nobody likes.”
“Yeah, our bad for gettin’ hot,” Applejack uttered with a shrug. “Ain't our place to judge another culture.”
“Ember, is it-?”
Ember merely nodded without turning around, shoulders slumped slightly.
“Besides, it's just eating an animal that shares a resemblance to a sapient creature from another dimension,” Starlight added. “Not like... starting a cult.”
“Or utilizing magics great and powerful to... show off and then seek revenge and banish a mare from her home.” Trixie exclaimed with a flourish before fading into a more sheepish tone.
“Or turning into a demon and brainwashing an entire school in order to develop an army to take over Equestria.” Sunset continued.
“Or... inadvertently trying to destroy Equestria.” Starlight shrugged. “You're among forgiving company here.”
The girls all laughed at this, both Twilights included even if to a lesser degree.
“So what kinds of grains do you eat if not hay?” Pinkie asked after the spat of laughter died down.
Twilight sought a warm grin from Sunset before taking a deep breath and letting the prior upset go. “Usually wheat, rice, corn-”
“Isn't that a vegetable?” Rainbow asked.
“Technically it's a grain, but we just call it a veggie.” Applejack put a hoof to her mouth in thought. “Kinda like how tomatoes are actually a fruit and potatoes are actually veggies.”
Rainbow leaned back. “...Tomato is a fruit?”
“And oats,” Twilight finished. “But not raw. We usually cook them, sometimes in oatmeal.”
Pinkie gasped. “Oatmeal!?” She cried. “Are you cra-”
“Whoa!” Rainbow called, accidentally interrupting Pinkie, as she lurched from her seat and toward the front door.
“Dang it...” Pinkie muttered.
“Rainbow, what’s-” Twilight asked as she turned and cut herself off, joining Rainbow.
The two mares stood side by side with their wings aflare, Rainbow saluting. In front of them were two ponies, a mare and a stallion, both pegasi, and both wearing military garb.
“At ease, kid,” the stallion said with a smile. His mane was pale white and close cropped, his coat a pale yellow, and his eyes sitting behind round glasses were a gentle aquamarine. A single silver star was pinned on his chest. “I’m not here for you, she is. I’m here for the Princess.”
“Hey Dash,” a familiar scratchy voice greeted. “Sorry to interrupt your day off.”
“No problem, cap,” Rainbow said, dropping the salute. “I'm just surprised to see you is all. Everything okay at HQ?”
Spitfire cracked her neck. “Yeah, ‘cept Soarin managed to get a real bad case of the feather flu. He’ll be out all week. So I’m in town to give Thunderlane a twenty four hour heads up that he’ll be taking his place, and I need to give you some intel. Also, as you know, the Admiral shouldn’t leave Cloudsdale without an escort because he's a high prio target, especially now, and he's gotta chat with the Princess about something not even I know about.”
“Speaking of,” the stallion said, putting out a wing towards Twilight. “Do you mind terribly if I have a word with you outside, Princess? It'll only take a minute, but Celestia herself entrusted me with this information.”
“Of course!” She said, taking his primaries in her own. “Lead the way, Admiral Dawn.”
“So whaddaya need to see me for?” Rainbow asked as the two left. “I mean, no offense and all but-”
“Yeah yeah, I’ve known you long enough that I can tell when you're being disrespectful and when you're being you.” She pulled a photograph out of a pocket and showed it to her. “This stallion has escaped from Tartarus and he was last seen by a hidden operative of mine in the town’s outskirts. I want you to discreetly keep an eye out, and let the mayor know she might wanna establish a night watch. It can wait until daylight but it is important.”
“Wow he's ugly.” Rainbow looked back up. “Yeah, I can do that. Anything else, cap?”
Spitfire nodded as she returned the photograph. “To enjoy your night off.” She looked past Rainbow towards the table. “Hm? Isn’t that the mare from Operation Supernova?”
Rainbow nodded. “Yeah, Sunset. But she’s chill.”
“I know,” Spitfire said before biting her lip. “I just... could swear that I’d seen her before.” She blushed slightly.
Rainbow blinked. “Cap?”
In an instant Spitfire’s composure returned. “Is that a changeling or are there two Twilight Sparkles?”
Rainbow facehoofed. “...long story.”
Meanwhile, back at the table...
“What do you think they're talking about?” Pinkie asked in between mouthfuls of hay fries doused in ketchup.
“Beatsh da heck outta me,” Applejack said, through a mouthful.
“Who’s the yellow one?” Sunset asked. “She looks familiar.”
“She looks like Spitfire, right?” Twilight asked. “The captain of the Wondercolts? Wonder what she’s captain of here...”
“Yes, that is Spitfire, and she’s the captain of the Wonderbolts, darling. But, pray tell,” Rarity began to ask. “What in Equestria are the Wondercolts?”
“Soccer team,” Twilight said. “It's a sport.”
“Like buckball,” Sunset clarified. “But the ball stays on the ground. Most of the time.”
“And what are the Wonderbolts?” Twilight finished.
“They're a subsidiary branch of the Equestrian military devoted to aerial reconnaissance, crime investigations concerning the throne, and athletic stunt flying,” Fluttershy said before all eyes turned to her. “What? I’ve been friends with Dashie since we were fillies. Why wouldn't I know that?”
“Maybe that's why you recognize her?” Twilight asked.
“No,” Sunset nodded. “That's not it. It's gotta be something else- OH!” She leaned back before dropping her volume and leaning back in. “She looks kinda like a stallion I had a crush on before I went through the mirror for the first time. But older, and... you know, a mare.”
“Somebody told me, you had a boyfriend, who looked like a girlfriend...” Twilight murmured.
“Stop.” Sunset said with a smirk and a leer.
“Wait a minute...” Twilight furrowed her brows. “How old are you?”
Sunset blinked before dropping her gaze. “...well, I’m... not seventeen in human years.”
Twilight’s mouth dropped open. “You're not?”
“Figured this would happen eventually,” Sunset muttered, face blushing as she took a very large drink of water. “Please drop it.”
“I'm sorry!” She quickly apologized. “I didn't mean to-”
“I know you didn't mean to,” Sunset interjected, hugging her. “But I don't wanna talk about any of the things that happened before I was reformed. Including how long I lived. I've just, I’ve put that life behind me. You understand that, right?”
Twilight hugged her back. “Yeah... completely.”
“Awww...” Pinkie whispered.
“Well it was certainly good to meet you, Dragon Lord!” Boomed a voice from the front door.
“And you as well, Admiral Dawn!” Ember volleyed. “I just might take you up on that game of pai sho next Friendship summit, if you're prepared to lose.”
He chuckled. “You underestimate my ability, Lord Ember. Until next we meet. Princess.”
“Admiral.” Twilight said, nodding.
“That's my cue to leave,” Spitfire said, clapping Rainbow’s shoulder. “I trust you with your orders.”
“Yes ma’am!” Rainbow exclaimed, saluting. “I won't let you down.”
Wordlessly, Spitfire and Dawn turned and left as the remaining trio returned to their table.
Rainbow briefly eyed Sunset before returning to her food, contemplating Spitfire’s reaction. But then...
“Pinkie...” she said, cautiously. “Where are my fries?”
She looked up to see Pinkie’s cheeks bulged out and covered in red splotchy sauce.
Pinkie shrugged. “Mm drr nmm.”
Rainbow sighed. “Hey, waiter! Can I get some more hay fries?”
The girls all laughed except for Princess Twilight. She merely stared at the table in thought.
“Abacus Cinch...” she whispered to herself. “Where have I heard that name before...?”
/x/x/x/
“Ugh, don't even get me started on Cinch. She’s being an absolute pain in the neck, even more so than usual.”
The speaker pierced a piece of lettuce with a fork before putting it in her mouth. She glanced around the table, at her husband and parents in law, the dog, and the empty seat. She frowned slightly before swallowing and returning to her conversation.
“Ever since I took her position as principal and she took the new seat on the board of education, it's like she never left. For the spring dance, she had demanded to the superintendent that she be there considering we were on the yacht and it was a public safety hazard. And now she’s bogging me down in financial reports and inspections.” She sighed. “I don't even have time for the kids any more.”
“I always knew she was a nasty woman,” said a second female voice from across the table. “Every single thing Twilight has said about her the entirety of her attendance at Crystal Prep just reeked of fear and revile. But, Cadance, the important thing to note is that you were the one who okay’d the yacht. And as dean, you were there for all of them, especially our daughter. The students love you, and they all know how bad Cinch was.”
“I appreciate that, Velvet...” Cadance leaned in towards Shining, who wrapped a supportive arm around her shoulders. “I can really use some encouragement right now.”
“In fact,” Night said from aside his wife. “Just last week when I picked up Twilight from something she did with her friends, I recognized two of the girls there. Flare, I think, and Zap. She told me a few things about what they think at school under new management. All of them good, of course.”
“See babe?” Shining asked. “The ‘bolts love you.”
“Eh, I guess I can't argue with definitive proof... and it's good to see Sunny and Indigo being social, especially with those girls.” Cadance looked to the empty chair again. “So Twilight won't be here tonight?”
Velvet nodded. “She's staying the night at Sunset’s apartment.”
Cadance blinked. “Sunset Shimmer’s? Ahhh...” she couldn't help but smile. “Say no more.”
Velvet and Night shared a confused glance, and upon seeing this, Cadance stiffened in her seat.
“Uhh...” she continued, turning to see that Shining also had no idea what she was talking about. “I'm not implying anything, I just mean. You know. Sleepovers. Ignore me.” She stuffed a large forkful of salad into her mouth.
“Is that what she texted you about last night?” Shining asked.
“Twilight texted you last night?” Velvet asked. “What about?”
Night scratched at his five o'clock shadow. “Hmm. Didn't she text you that night before the first time she slept over at Rainbow’s house while they were dating?”
“Twilight and Sunset aren't dating!” Cadance exclaimed. “And what we talked about was a private and personal conversation. How did you know?”
He shrugged. “Accidentally checked your phone instead of mine.”
“If they're not dating then what did you mean by say no more?” Velvet asked. “That sounded fairly suggestive. I don't mind if she’s romantically involved with her friends, but she's never been outright deceitful about anything... before this week.”
Night sighed and pat his wife’s knee as Shining leaned forward.
“Before this week?” He asked. “Did something happen? Is she okay?”
“She's fine, son. She just... had a little accident or something last night.” Night wrapped his hand around Velvet’s. “There was a cut on her neck this morning, and the pizza slicer had some blood on it. You know your sister’s penchant for clumsiness. She didn't say anything, so I don't think she even knew it was there. But she's okay. If she wasn't, she'd have told us by now, don't you think?”
Cadance bit her lip. Twilight was notorious for hiding things from her parents. In fact, Cadance wasn't even entirely sure that they even know who Midnight was. They didn't know Spike could talk for weeks. They didn't know half of what she herself knew about Twilight. Her fears, insecurities, anxieties, worries... inadequacies.
Shining leaned back, not thoroughly convinced. “Alright... she’ll be here tomorrow though, right?”
“As far as we know, yes.” Velvet poured more wine into her glass. “I texted her when you arrived but she hasn't even opened it yet. I told her that you two were staying here in the guest bedroom for the next few days. Surely she’ll want to stay here tomorrow night, she hasn't seen either of you in so long.”
Cadance hid her worried frown as best as she could, and decided to talk to Twilight tomorrow after school.
She’d have to check Twilight’s wrists to make sure she hadn't relapsed.
/x/x/x/
Twilight adjusted her ear plugs as the deafeningly booming bass tried stabbing through to her brain. The dusky blue settled over the atmosphere, interspersed with flashing neon of the entire spectrum. A pony who looked an awful lot like Vinyl Scratch ran the turntables, bearing a sign that said “DJ P0n3”.
Twilight was in the middle of wondering what a Pon Three was when a glass was gently set in front of her. She glanced to the side to see this world’s Trixie slowly levitating several glasses of colorful liquid onto the table, one at a time. Starlight was at her side, gently motivating her. A small smile came to Twilight’s face as she remembered Sunset’s instructions on how to properly use her geode.
Those were better times.
“I did it!” Trixie exclaimed, arranging the final glass onto the table. “Levitation is now my- hic! My bitch...” She drifted slowly to the side as Starlight put a hoof out, keeping her from falling over. “Star Swirl the Beardless can... can suck it!”
“Congratulations, you can do grade school magic.” Starlight rolled her eyes and pushed Trixie back to standing. “To be fair you're a little drunk, and that's somewhat impressive. But you also put them in the wrong order.” With a quick flash of her horn, all but one of the glasses lifted and moved to a different spot on the table. “There we go.”
“How many drunk people are you going to babysit tonight, Starlight?” Twilight asked, yelling slightly to be heard over the music.
“Too many, that's for sure,” Starlight answered, laughing a little as Trixie began to lean in the other direction. “Applejack’s got her hooves full keeping Rainbow from flirting with every mare in here, and Twilight’s constantly purging Ember’s liver. We’re just lucky that Rarity can keep her alcohol down, and Fluttershy’s asleep.”
Fluttershy snored in response, facedown and drooling on the table. Her mane was sprawled everywhere, and her tongue was lolling out. All grace had fully vacated the premises.
“Aren't you gonna go dance with Sunset, Pinkie, Rarity, and Maud?” Starlight asked, convincing Trixie to sit down. “They look like they're having fun.”
In the background, they could see the two unicorns and Pinkie having an absolute blast of a time, while Maud stood motionless. Like a rock. Wait, no, if they looked carefully enough they could see Maud slowly swaying to the beat. But the other three were stomping a different hoof down on every beat.
“I'm good,” Twilight said, before bending down to her cup. She put her mouth around the entirety of the slim glass, gripped with her lips and teeth, and turned up to chug the whole drink. It was only two shots worth, so nothing too impressive. Satisfied, she placed it back down and lightly flourished a hoof. “I can now drink without help.”
“Ha!” Trixie shouted, levitating a drink of her own. “Trixie can do that too!” She said as she splashed her own face with the drink. “Ta da!”
Starlight burst out laughing as she reached for some napkins. “Alright, that's last call for you. But are you sure, Twilight? I'm sure Sunset would dance with you. Maybe more if you wanted to.”
Twilight’s cheeks burned. “Yeah, no, I’m fine right here. I just... don't dance. At all. Ever. You saw our music video. That's proof enough.”
“What? Come on, you're not that bad. You nailed that choreography at the beginning.”
Twilight shrugged. “You're not... human... though.”
“Racist,” Starlight replied, sticking her tongue out. “What, just because I’m a pony it means I can't compliment my friends? Besides, you've never seen this Twilight dance.” She leaned in to whisper. “She's really bad.”
“No Discord,” Fluttershy mumbled. “The ceiling is not for dancing on... don't eat the couch.”
“What did she drink?” Twilight asked. “That must be some dream.”
“No... Discord just likes dancing on ceilings and eating couches. He's a god of chaos.”
“Ooohhh... does Fluttershy dream about the god of chaos often?”
Starlight blinked and then snickered. “Uh, well, he's kind of her roommate. She's his best friend.”
Twilight stared at Starlight, searching for any sign of jest. Finding none, her mouth fell open. “You're serious.”
“Watch this.”
Starlight stepped off her stool and over to Fluttershy’s sleeping form.
“Oh no!” She said, wooden, voice almost as devoid of emotion as Maud’s was. “This is a real shame. Fluttershy has drank so much alcohol, that she is going to fall out of her stool!” Starlight slowly reached over to nudge the chair, when suddenly the front door of the club kicked open and a puff of smoke burst through over everypony’s heads.
It materialized into a set of arms providing a net of safety.
“I've got you, Fluttershy!” Cried a creature Twilight had never seen before. His voice was deep and mellow; delicate. He had a powder blue shower cap on his head, and a fluffy pink towel was wrapped around his chest. “I told you once and I told you a hundred times that pegasi can't handle their liquor as well as earth ponies can.” Beat. “Hold on a second. Starlight, she's perfectly fine.”
Starlight presented him with a foreleg. His visible fur was grayish brown, his limbs all belonging to different animals. His arms were that of a lion and an eagle, his legs a lizard and a goat. He had two horns, one like an icicle and the other an antler. His face was shaped like a number 8, his yellow eyes two different sizes. He had a constant light sneer on his face, or at least it seemed such as he had one fang protruding out one side. “Twilight, this is Discord. Discord, this is Twilight.”
Discord crossed his arms and frowned. “Don't try to change the subject, Starlight. I’ve met Twilight before. Oh, by the way Twilight, nice glasses. They suit you. Anyway, Starlight, you made as if Fluttershy was in trouble just to summon me. I told you not to abuse that except in emergencies. You interrupted my bubble bath! Trixie, hello.”
Twilight was busy picking her jaw up off the floor as Princess Twilight returned to the table behind her with a passed out dragon lord slumped over her barrel.
“Hello Discord,” she greeted. “Fresh out of the shower, I see? Very fresh...”
Discord turned to the voice, froze as he registered there were two of them, and rubbed at his eyes. “Wow,” he said, as the towel fell. “Okay, I give up, what spell is this?”
“It's not a spell, she's from the magic mirror.” Starlight tried to discreetly put the towel back but to no avail. “She and Sunset Shimmer are here to hang out for the night. The rest of the girls are here too. Is Ember okay?”
“I decided to just let her drink enough to pass out,” Twilight answered. “Surely the hangover she’ll have in the morning will be warning enough to her not to go so hard on equine drinks just because they're weaker than dragonmead.”
“Oh! The world beyond limbo, eh?” Discord reached out a paw. “Good to meet you, human Twilight Sparkle. You know, I met a human once. A captain of an enterprising spaceship. He was delightful to toy with once upon a time. I'm Discord.”
Twilight tentatively reached a hoof out and shook hands with the god of chaos. “I'm Twilight... so uh... which god of chaos are you?”
“The best one, of course.” He finally looked down, before covering his chest with his hands. “Oh my, now that's embarrassing. My first meeting with a human after my reformation and I'm completely naked. One second.” He snapped his claw and was suddenly wearing a black shirt, red jacket, large black hat comically in the shape of an upside down cone, and a golden chain around his neck. “There, that's better.”
“You look ridiculous,” Starlight said, voice flat. “And we’ve established with her that humans don't care about clothes on ponies, dragons, or... a klutzy draconequus.”
He turned to point a threatening claw. “I will throw you into the dimension of eternal tickling if you ever bring that up again.”
Princess Twilight leaned in to Twilight. “He's kidding. I think. Oh, they're laughing now, yes. Phew.”
“Oh, I know,” she responded. “Friends often threaten each other in a playful manner. Rainbow Dash, or mine, at least, and I used to do it all the time. Especially when we were together. I just didn't expect to meet a chaos god tonight.”
“You also probably didn't expect to meet the dragon lord, spit out a hay burger, or almost die, either. But here we are!”
Twilight nudged her royal counterpart, grinning, and turned her attention back to their new arrival. He'd taken the seat next to Fluttershy, and was pulling her mane off the table to keep it somewhat straight. In Starlight’s lapse of attention, Trixie had fallen into the floor, and she was currently occupying the responsibility of picking her back up again.
“So, I take it that this is a mares night out, thus why I wasn't invited?” He asked. “I'm not jealous or anything, nope. Princess Ember is here despite not technically being a mare even though she doesn't even live anywhere close by, yet I live literally a snap away and not even a card. Nope, not jealous at all.”
“Discord, you just had dinner with Twilight and Trixie I the other day.” Starlight pointed across the room with her free hoof, the other occupied by a now unconscious and snoring Trixie. “And didn't Pinkie and Rainbow just bake a bunch of cupcakes with you last week?”
Princess Twilight put a hoof to her chin. “And come to think of it, aren't you going with Fluttershy and Rarity to the spa in two days?”
Discord offered a sheepish look as he shrunk down in his chair, continuing to stroke Fluttershy’s mane. “Well... none of those involved alcohol.”
“You can't even get drunk!” Starlight complained. “Only Chaosville tequila and zap apple jam can even get you tipsy!”
He turned his nose up at this. “Hmpf. Does that even matter?”
“Heyyy, Discord!” Cried Rainbow, lazily flapping over to the table followed closely by Applejack. “You came to the club too? Niiiiiice...”
Out of the corner of her eye, Twilight saw Midnight standing amongst the throngs of dancing ponies. She was just standing there, staring.
“Hey, um...” Twilight muttered. “I'm gonna go and dance with the others for a bit.”
“I'll go with ya,” Applejack said, pressing Rainbow’s flank down into the chair as she swayed. “I wanna let loose a little now that this one’s all partied out.” She set her hat on Rainbow’s head and shook her hair out of her omnipresent ponytail. “That okay?”
“Yes!” Twilight exclaimed, a little more energy than she wanted to. “That's fine, let’s go.” She pulled an earplug out, immediately assailing her senses with the full spectrum of noise and chatter.
The two stepped away from the table and onto the dance floor, and Twilight lost sight of Midnight.
But... Why on earth was Midnight here in Equestria?
/x/x/x/
White lines of text scrolled up a black background on the television sitting front and center in Rarity’s living room. Next to her on a green pinstripe couch were Fluttershy on the left, her sister on the right, and Scootaloo on the far side. In front of them on a glass coffee table were empty plates decorated with pizza crusts and empty plastic sauce containers, and napkins in various states of use. Four red plastic cups held various drinks.
Across the room, her parents shared a sofa, and stood up from their seats.
“Well, I can't say that was the best movie I ever saw,” her father Hondo said, causing her to wince at the poor grammar. “But it sure was funny.”
Fluttershy said nothing, nibbling away at a thin crust garden veggie slice. The entire couch was fairly quiet, actually.
“You girls don't stay up too late,” her mother Cookie playfully teased. Rarity winced again but got a different reason. “School waits for no woman!”
“Eh, they'll be fine,” Hondo responded, fiddling with the DVD player and removing the completed film. “As always, just keep whatever you watch down. Clean up the kitchen, and good night.” With that he headed into the hallway on the right side of the room, removing his overshirt as he did so.
Cookie began to gather his trash and dirty dishes, as well as her own, as the teenagers did their own items. They all remained wordless.
With the five of them, it took as many minutes to make the kitchen completely spotless with time to spare. Leftovers were consolidated: the older teens’ thin crust and gluten free in one box, the youngers’ pepperoni sausage in the other. Cookie put her pineapple ham in with them, and both boxes were placed into the refrigerator.
She kissed her daughters on the forehead, nodded to the others, and quietly excused herself out of the room.
Only when a full minute passed did anyone speak.
“That wasn't a very good movie.” Fluttershy said. “It was shallow, bland, trite, poorly edited, and it had a lot of racist undertones.”
The others shrugged in agreement.
“Dad likes a lot of bad movies,” Sweetie Belle said, casual and aloof. “But watching them with him makes them a little better. Or... tolerable.”
“I think I'm ready to go to bed though,” Scootaloo continued. “No offense to you guys but I’m tired.”
“I don't blame you dear, you didn't get much sleep last night.” Rarity replied, patting Scoots’ head. “By the way, Sweetie, are you feeling better today? Applebloom was concerned about you two today.”
“Better now,” she said. “I think I'm ready to go to school tomorrow. So, uh... I should go to bed soon too.”
The two excused themselves, leaving Rarity and Fluttershy alone.
“Next time I’ll invite you over,” Fluttershy whispered. “No offense, but I don't... like it here.”
“I know, Fluttershy... I know.”
The two simply headed to Rarity’s bedroom, and sat down side by side.
“It's strange,” she mused. “Just last night, Twilight was sitting right where you are. And now she's in a dimension of magical talking ponies. Just what kind of life have we run into?”
Fluttershy silently nodded in reply, and bit her lip as her thoughts drifted to their mutual friend. More specifically to a concerning series of events a few months prior...
Recently after Twilight and Rainbow had broken up, the group had planned a shopping trip to try on and purchase swimsuits for an excursion to Cadance’s beach house. Cadance had granted Twilight permission to use it, and it was an ideal location for a last hurrah of a summer outing.
While they were at the mall, Twilight had a slight meltdown once things got to the trying-things-on phase. She'd sprinted away upon seeing Rarity and Sunset in suits that were admittedly too small, and Rainbow had gone after her. They came back fairly okay, whereupon Twilight had come clean, saying that she’d never seen other girls in swimsuits before, and she was worried they would think she was being perverted and lusting after them. After comforting her and letting her know that everything was fine, everything seemed okay and they all split up to continue trying on suits.
Sunset had wanted to pair with Rarity, and Rainbow with Applejack, leaving Twilight and Pinkie with Fluttershy. She herself had already been in one of her own, which definitely seemed to have still caused Twilight some small distress. It had seemed for a moment that she would push through, but alas, it was not to be, and Twilight went and changed in another room.
For the next few days she seemed incredibly detached from the others. Her responses had all been much shorter than anyone was used to. She didn't participate in as many activities. One of the days she’d actually excused herself to the house at around six, and they'd discovered that she’d taken some allergy medication and gone to sleep for some reason.
The pattern of behavior had continued once school had begun. Twilight rarely spent time alone with any of the girls. Her clothing had become much more plain, opting for jeans and a gray wooly jumper rather than her usual more complex getups courtesy of Rarity. She was quieter, more solitary, and seemed to be spending a lot more time alone. The only time she ever really went anywhere with them were when they asked her a favor. She was more than happy to help, but she never stayed longer than was necessary. And worse still, all of her grades in the biology class they shared were slipping inch by inch.
Fluttershy noticed signs, signs all too familiar to herself. Signs of depression. She recognized them because she went through all of them herself back in middle school. Her parents were too concerned with favorite child Zephyr to pay any attention to her, so Fluttershy considered herself lucky that she had Rainbow Dash, who helped her through it. She feared that had it not been for Rainbow, she wouldn't be here today.
And that fear now persisted, inhabiting her every waking thought towards Twilight. She was scared that Twilight was going through the same thing, and didn't have her own Rainbow. Twilight wasn't close to any of them the way Fluttershy and Rainbow were, or at least the way they used to be back in middle school. Even Twilight looked scared when she thought nobody else could see her.
Luckily Rainbow appeased some worry with letting her know Twilight was just afraid of turning into a pony. That explained some things. But still, there were nagging doubts in the back of Fluttershy’s mind. Doubts that wouldn't go away. Doubts that were strengthened by their interaction earlier.
Despite Twilight affirming that Rainbow’s hypothesis was correct, it still felt insincere and hollow. Even Sunset didn't seem to believe her. And the vulnerability in Twilight’s voice when Fluttershy held her hand was enough to break her heart.
“Rarity?” She asked.
“Hmm?” Rarity answered from across the room, changing into pajamas consisting of a black tank top and light pink short shorts.
“Was Twilight okay last night?”
Rarity folded her clothes from the day as she contemplated the question. “What do you mean?”
“I mean...” Fluttershy pressed her forefingers together as she contemplated how best to voice the words she wanted to say. “How did she act?”
Rarity’s eyebrows scrunched together as she placed the dirty clothes neatly onto the stack inside a laundry basket on the floor. “She acted like Twilight. I don't know how else to answer the question.”
Fluttershy leaned back onto the bed and looked up at the ceiling. “I mean, did she seem okay to you? I'm worried that she's depressed.”
“Ah...” Rarity exhaled before stepping over and sitting beside her concerned friend. “You're worried about her mental health, is that it?”
Fluttershy gently nodded.
Rarity leaned back on her hands and stared at the computer as she spoke. “I don't believe she's having problems with depression. I sincerely don't. If she is, then that's just something else on top of what I believe is truly going on that may have caught your eye. Have you been thinking about this since lunch?”
Fluttershy nodded again. “I have been for a long time, but our conversation at lunch just made me think about it harder.”
“Sunset and I discussed this. I don't know the results and I won't until they return, but I know for a fact that it isn't anything as serious as that. Sunset and the other Twilight planned a sort of ritual that gets rid of dark magic. We think Midnight has returned.”
Fluttershy gasped and sat up. “No!”
“It's okay,” Rarity said, setting a hand on her friend's shoulder. “If she has, then Twilight will take care of it. But that's most likely what's happening right now. Sunset saw a small drawing of Midnight in Twilight's psychology notebook. Hopefully, all of this will be over very soon, if not already.”
Fluttershy trembled in terror and worry as she leaned over and placed her head in Rarity’s lap.
“I hope so...” she whispered.
Rarity began to stroke her hair as she hummed a lullaby.
“Can we go to the mirror in the morning?” She asked, slurring her speech a little.
“Yes, dear,” she answered, leaning back so her head hit the pillows. “First thing. You can be the first person she sees when she returns.”
“Okay...” Fluttershy said, before sitting up. “Thank you for inviting me over.”
“Think nothing of it, darling. I enjoy your company.”
Fluttershy beamed as she stood up and stepped over to her own bag. Within a minute she'd changed out of her old clothes and into a faded flannel nightgown, and within another she’d returned to the bed and under the covers.
“Good night, Rarity.”
There was no answer; she was already asleep.
/x/x/x/
Twilight sipped out of the straw sitting before her on the crystal map of Equestria in her princess counterpart’s throne room.
A teal glow enveloped a hand of cards floating in front of her face. She reached out and tapped the forth from the left in the seven.
“Thiz one,” she said, slowly and deliberately. Still clearly intoxicated.
To her side, Sunset nodded and telekinetically placed the card onto the table, prompting a frustrated groan from Twilight’s left side.
“Aw man!” Pinkie complained, slamming her own cards down. “I fold!”
Twilight and Sunset turned to face her with matching expressions of confusion.
“Pinkie...” Sunset said. “This isn't poker. This is uno.”
Pinkie squinted, before glancing at the cards and back again.
“Oooohhhh...” she murmured, before passing out and falling asleep on top of the cards, violently snoring.
“I'll take her home to the bakery,” said Maud from Pinkie’s own left, shouldering her sister’s sleeping form up onto her back. “Thank you for having me over.”
“Of course, Maud,” Princess Twilight replied before yawning. “You're always welcome in the castle. Have a safe walk home.”
“I'll destroy anypony who tries to inhibit such.” She said, voice devoid of any emotion. “That was a joke, by the way.”
“I oughta get back to the farm, too,” added Applejack, who threw her own cards in as she put her hat back on. “I gotta replace the barn door in the morning. We got termites makin’ it weak. Today was fun, Twi. Y'all sure yer okay keepin’ Rainbow here overnight?”
“It's fine,” she answered, placing a card into the center of the table. “She and Ember can both fit in Starlight’s bedroom, and I’m pretty sure that she's staying over at Trixie’s, but Celestia knows we have plenty of rooms even if they didn't. You get home safe too.”
“Will do. Night everypony.”
The remaining three bid her farewell, and continued their game in silence for a few minutes.
“Today waz fun...” Twilight slurred as she sipped again. “Bein a horz is... cool...”
“I think it's time you retire too,” Sunset joked, setting the cards down. “I'm gonna take you to your bed and then I’ll be out here talking to the Princess about stuff, okay?”
Twilight nodded, stubbornly refusing as she was flopped over against her will. “No, I wanna ztay out here with you.”
“As flattering as that is, you're drunk and tired and you have school in the morning. Like it or not you're still a teenager, and a hangover will just make hardass and psych that much harder to deal with.”
Twilight kicked all four of her legs, wildly flailing for a foothold to get off. “No no no no no no no...” she grumbled. “I wanna be with you. I like you.”
Sunset chuckled to herself as she opened the door and began climbing the spiral stairs. “I like you too, Twilight. And that's why I’m putting you in a comfy bed up in the observatory. You can sleep under the stars on a fluffy feather mattress in silk sheets. That sounds like a great night, don't you think?”
Twilight nodded her head. “Noooo, you don't GET it... I LIKE you. I wanna BE with you. I wanna ZLEEP with you. For real.”
Sunset grinned as she stepped out onto the platform. “You'll sleep better if you're alone, silly filly. You'll just wanna talk to me all night, like you did all day today. And that's not good for you, you know?”
Twilight grunted. “No no no. I mean. I wanna ztay with you forever. I love you Zunzet. Don't leave me.”
Sunset turned around and kissed Twilight on the forehead as she opened the observatory doors. “I love you too, Twilight. Now come on, don't be such a lug. I'll be right downstairs. I'm not gonna leave you, okay? I'll even be here in the morning and make sure you don't, you know. Fall flat on your face in the night trying to go to the bathroom. Okay?”
Sunset gently placed Twilight on the bed and pulled the sheets over her body.
Twilight was too tired to object.
“Okay,” Sunset said, setting a hoof on Twilight’s own. “Good night. I'll see you in the morning.”
She turned and left the room, latching it behind her, and all was quiet for a minute.
The silence was soon broken by quiet sobbing.
“I'm in love with you, Sunset...” she murmured to herself. “I wanna be with you forever... please... stay with me...”
As she drifted off into fitful slumber, the sniffling died down, letting cold silence descend over the room, blanketing it in its quiet chill.
A dark figure materialized in the room.
It spread its navy blue wings and approached the sleeping pony.
“I cannot protect you when you leave this place,” she whispered, leaning over and touching horns. “But I can ensure that your dreams are pleasant tonight, little one.”
The pain on Twilight’s face faded away, replaced by gentle ecstasy.
“I would stay longer,” the figure murmured as she cast her eyes downward. “But I am needed elsewhere. Be strong, Twilight Sparkle. This adversity is only temporary.”
And with her final words of encouragement, she turned to shadow and slipped through the floor.
/x/x/x/
Twilight wandered down a long, dark maze. The moon shone overhead, casting its pale light on the smooth stone steps beneath the unicorn’s hooves. A light breeze ruffled evergreen trees just out of her line of sight. The scent of old musty books carried along it, beckoning with the possibility of knowledge.
“Hello?” She asked, familiar with the concept of lucid dreaming but suspicious of magic.
No voice greeted her, so instead she continued on the path. Eventually she encountered a building made of smooth stone, with a large doorway of steel and oak blocking her path.
Twilight pressed forward on the door, and her jaw fell in awe.
Before her were rows and rows of books, all on subjects she had never encountered before. History of magic, mystical botany, ancient equipology, alchemical chemistry, you name it.
Twilight glanced behind her, affirming she was alone, then shrugged and stepped forward as the doors gently closed behind her.
“Oh my goodness!” One could hear her exclaim. “Are these real macaroons!?”
/x/x/x/
Author's Note
Oh my GOD this took seven months because literally nothing happens here but I can't skip it because it's all essential to the fourth act leading to the climax, and the sequel that focuses on Sunset. But now that this hump is over I can get back to the real meat and potatoes of the story which is Twilight's huge crush on Sunset.
TFW You Find Your Crush's Nudes
TFW you take three years to upload
/x/x/x/
It would be an understatement to say that Twilight woke up with a headache.
To be more accurate, one would have to say that her brain was trying to crawl out through her eyes.
“Aaaaa...” she groaned, unable to move her mouth or tongue partially due to pain and partially to dryness, simply releasing the anguish caused by the immense physical torment afflicting her. The pleasant dreams of sweet biscuits and dusty tomes faded into obscurity as harsh reality struck her skull like a sledgehammer. Or a sack of bricks. Or a sack of sledgehammers.
Twilight tried opening her eyes and was instantly assailed by white daggers applied directly to her eyeballs. The sun was out and it was making damn sure that the temporary pony knew it. As the flare of brightness ceased occupying her every thought, some semblance of coherency put together a few basic acknowledgements about her surroundings.
It was bright. It was cold. It was wet. And it was quiet. Twilight thanked her lucky stars for that last one. Slowly she started moving her limbs, and the pins and needles distracted from the toxic miasma coating her head. Her forelegs were bent upwards towards her shoulders, tightly pressing back. The muscular tightness slowly released, causing lactic acid to flood her body. At least it was a step down from unbearable to merely incapacitating.
She wondered why her rear legs didn't cooperate until she became suddenly aware of the presence of her tail when it pressed against the silk sheets tucked tight between the mattress and baseboard. And then she wondered why it felt so damp.
Finding the source inconsequential, Twilight tried turning her head to the side. It didn't hurt that bad compared to the splitting headache, but she still stopped moving anyways. She groaned again, this time at least able to move her mouth.
“Yeah yeah, I heard you the first time...” Starlight muttered from very close to Twilight’s right. “Man, I am not looking forward to the book club today...”
Warm energy wrapped itself around Twilight’s body as she felt herself rise up in the air, though no part of her body was disturbed. The blankets slipped off and the moisture evaporated instantly.
“Okay, guess we’re moving laundry day forward to today...” a few swishes of energy whizzed past Twilight’s ears as Starlight sighed. “You and Trixie both, huh? Okay, so next mares night out, the pre-bedtime potty breaks are mandatory. Twilight? I’m not sure how much you can understand through what's probably a really bad hangover, but I'm gonna intravenously administer some pain relief elixir. It's, uh, basically just magic, uh, aspirin? I'm carrying you down the stairs and when your headache goes away you're gonna be at the map table. If you can understand any of what I just said, just... groan, I guess?”
Twilight complied.
“Okay good, you're at least fairly lucid. I'm putting it in right now, you'll feel a slight poke in your side. And there we go, see, that wasn't so bad. Watch out, Spike. Morning, everypony!”
Twilight couldn't feel anything but the thousand needles sticking into her brain. Miraculously the pain began to melt away, slowly at first, but gaining traction with each passing second. Within just a few moments, the harsh buzzing in the room melted into audible dialogue. She still had a headache though, but it was manageable.
“...and then he said what sounded like ‘vurdull may wee ick bin’, whatever that means.” Spike’s voice stopped for a moment then started back up again, this time with a mouth full of whatever it is that dragons eat for breakfast. “But before anything could happen, Princess Luna pulled me out of the dream, saying that she could sense dark magic.”
“Sorry to cut you off, Spike,” Sunset said, voice growing closer. “But Twilight and I gotta go to school like ten minutes ago. It was fun hanging out with all of you though. Twi, this is my foreleg.”
“We’re going already?” Twilight slurred, still a little unbalanced. “But I just woke up...” Her eyes refused to open.
“Oh fantastic, you're still drunk. That's great. This is gonna be a fun day to explain to your teachers. You'll be fine but Celestia might actually freaking murder me. Well, whatever, bye everypony!”
A chorus of farewells sounded off, blending together into a cacophony of throbbing pain in Twilight’s head. She managed to give a wave before getting essentially dragged into a hole. The ground gave way below her and she twirled head over limbs, too pained to even react. In a few moments she found herself face-planted on the ground, her human limbs splayed out in every direction.
“Twi, are you...” Sunset was in the middle of saying before she snorted and started laughing. “I gotta say, that's pretty much exactly the position I was in when I first got here. Come on, up and at ‘em. Daylight’s burning!”
Starlight’s medication seemed to be working fully now, as sensations beyond just “ow” returned to Twilight. Namely, Sunset’s hand placed in her own. Her heart skipped a beat before she was pulled up to her feet. Twilight almost fell over the other direction but was thankfully caught in time, and rebalanced. Vision began to refocus as she found Sunset’s hands adjusting her glasses.
“Good thing you changed clothes before crossing over,” Sunset remarked, giving her friend the once-over, resting hands on her hips. “No grass stains, no dirty knees, no... sobriety. Creator, we are so dead. Well, I’m dead. You could murder someone and staff would find a reason to absolve you of blame.”
Twilight blinked and balked at the dark figure hiding in the shadow of the wondercolt statue. There was no escape.
The school bell chose that moment to ring.
“Shit,” Sunset hissed, grabbing Twilight’s hand in her own. “First period starts in five minutes, book it girl!”
Darkness momentarily forgotten, Twilight smiled as she relished the skin contact. Midnight was a later problem. The current problem was keeping her spotless attendance record firmly in place. And also not tripping over her own feet.
/x/x/x/
This is an Author’s Note. There was supposed to be a short scene here between Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. Bloom would indicate that she was glad that Belle was no longer sick and that the two had returned to school. They would have had a short conversation that would have lead to Scootaloo mentioning that Twilight was helping Rarity with something on the computer, which in turn would have lead to a brief reminiscence of the Anon-a-Miss incident. The function of this would be to refresh in the reader’s head the events of the past, as the Anon-a-Miss incident would have chronologically happened three or four years ago. However, when I started writing this story five years ago in 2017 I had not conceived the time dilation effect I trapped myself into when drafting the sequel, The Dragonbourne Supremacy. Time in Equestria passes much faster than time in the human world in accordance to the lore established by the comics and novels, which I have to follow to avoid enormous glaring plot holes in the chronology. Stressing about this lead me to just skip this section for later, and that was in January of 2019. I decided to cut that section, as I had a very bad habit of using excess fluff segments of unimportant side characters to break up the sections of main plot into smaller and more digestible chunks, and because I plan on rewriting this story anyway. I will discuss that in more detail at the end of this chapter.
And now back to your regularly scheduled programming:
/x/x/x/
Sunset blinked a few times, still unable to process the slip of paper sitting between her and the one who received it.
“A... warning.”
Twilight’s head was on the lunch table, covered by her fingers gripping tight handfuls of navy blue.
“Hardass gave you... a warning.”
Across the table, Rainbow Dash shook her head before slamming the rest of her chocolate milk. “It was just as unbelievable watching that get written as it is seeing it here. A warning.”
Twilight just groaned.
Fluttershy sat down next to Rainbow across from Twilight, tray of salad in hand. “Hello girls- oh, is everything all right Twilight? Rarity and I tried to welcome you back, but you never showed up.”
“Everything’s fine, save for a couple headaches,” Sunset began. “We’re both a little, well, hungover. And Hardass gave Twilight... a warning.”
“A warning?” She asked, incredulous. “Really?” After a moment of processing she asked another question. “...you two got drunk last night?”
“We... went to a club.” She turned her head slightly. “The other you got drunk too. Apparently she’s best friends with the god of chaos. But yeah. Didn't get enough sleep or drink enough water like I should have. And equine digestive systems are a bit different than ours so it hit me harder than it would have normally. Eugh, god, is this what dying feels like?”
“God of chaos, huh?” Rainbow asked, crunching up her carton before turning to Fluttershy. “Looks like between both of the yous, you have the three coolest friends on either side of the mirror.”
“Oh?” Fluttershy asked.
Rainbow shrugged. “Me, other me, and uh... what’s his name Twi? Is it Loki? Eris? The Witch of Izalith? Or, uh... what is it again... Kono... Kuma... tamagotchi-whatever?”
“Kunino...toko...tachi, I believe,” Sunset chimed. “Although technically that's not a god of chaos, that's the god that formed from chaos. Probably. Big difference. Oh, and, it's none of them, his name is Discord. He has no human-world expy.” She was about to eat a piece of lettuce before freezing upon realizing everyone had eyes on her. “What?”
Twilight was the first to react, snorting in laughter. “Now who's the weeb?”
Sunset responded with a smirk and a light punch to the shoulder. “Shut up, I took one of the eastern mythology electives. Rainbow’s the one who didn't, and she knew a syllable- well, half- without taking the class.”
Every girl’s attention turned to the athlete, whose chewing froze in place as her eyes widened. Quickly Rainbow swallowed, too quickly in fact. She coughed a few times before making her case.
“It's from a video game. The one with the wolf and the paint brush from space. I just know it’s based on Gods and stuff, but whatever, what’s the chaos guy’s name again?”
“Discord,” Sunset answered again. “And actually I'm pretty sure that he's not a god. Our society is monotheistic, and just worships one god: Faust, the Creator. I didn't study much theology though, my background is fully in magic studies. He has the powers of a god though, especially in some comparable faiths from this side of the mirror.” She took another bite. “But that'sh jusht shemanticsh.”
Applejack and Rarity then joined the group, setting their trays next to Fluttershy and Twilight, respectively.
“Oh good,” Rarity said, glancing between Twilight and Sunset. “You two did eventually show up. I was starting to get worried when Fluttershy and I had to leave the portal so we wouldn't be late. Although I must admit you two look, shall I say, all ~partied~ out?” After a moment she glanced around and raised an eyebrow. “Where is Pinkie?”
“Music room,” Rainbow answered. “Vice Principal Luna has her vacuuming all the glitter from last night out of the carpet.”
“Y'all look like you had too much fun last night,” Applejack quipped.
“Way too much alcohol,” Sunset said in a hushed tone. “We had a perfectly reasonable amount of fun. It's just water we didn't really have enough of. Plus there was a, uh... actually, Twilight, are you cool with talking about that thing that happened first thing through?”
“I assume you're asking about my panic attack. In which case yeah, sure.”
“You had a panic attack?” Fluttershy asked, alarmed. “For real?”
“Like a panic panic attack or like an anxiety panic attack?” Rainbow asked.
“There's a difference?” Applejack asked.
“Yes, full panic panic, and yes technically for a few reasons I’m not getting into right now,” Twilight answered. “It was... really intense. I felt like I was dying. But I wasn't. Thankfully.”
“What brought it on?” Fluttershy questioned, reaching a hand over to set it on Twilight’s. “Are you concerned about Midnight coming back?”
Twilight physically recoiled as she said the name, a reaction not lost on everyone at the table.
“No!” She yelped, withdrawing her limbs and turning her body away from the group. “Why would you- no, she's gone, she's been gone. No, it was just magic. The unicorns decontaminated me from dark magic and it scared the shit out of me, there isn't anything more complicated than that going on. I haven't thought of Midnight in... months, or years. Why would you even ask me that?” Her voice had grown more aggressive as she continued, ending ultimately in a bitter accusatory tone. She also found herself fully standing, hands planted firmly onto the table.
After a few moments of heavy breathing as she regained composure, looking over the shocked expressions on her friend's faces (as well as a few confused glances from the random passers-by around them), Twilight shook her head and pressed her hands to her temples before sitting back down.
“I'm... I’m sorry Fluttershy,” she said, softly. “I just don't... I shouldn't have shouted at you. I don't know what came over me, I-”
She was interrupted by Rarity’s hand on her back. She looked up, daring to catch Fluttershy’s eye, and was surprised to see that she was unfazed.
“No, you're right,” she said, lacing her fingers together in her lap. “It was presumptuous of me to question you about the trigger. Clearly it's not a topic you're comfortable with discussing, so I’m sorry that I made you upset. Please forgive me.”
Twilight put her own hands back down onto the table. “I will, I do,” she said, breath finally starting to regulate. “It's fine. I'm not mad. Not at you. I just feel so... weak, and helpless. I've never had a panic attack before, and it's honestly one of the worst experiences I've ever had in my life. Ugh, god, it's so hot in here...”
She tugged her collar out, wiping away a touch of what felt like sweat on her neck, and pushed her sleeves up to her elbows.
“I've just been in such a head fog ever since I woke up,” she continued, pulling her glasses off with one hand and pressing the back of the other against her forehead. “I feel so sluggish and slow, and worst of all stupid. God, just... I went in there unprepared, I wasn't ready for my whole body to be completely different, and I wasn't ready to see a tube of magic shooting into my chest, and I wasn't ready for all of the booze. Their drinks are all so much stronger than anything I've ever been used to. Parts of me still feel drunk, not even just hung over. Yesterday was just so damn overwhelming, and I'm still trying to recover from it.”
She slipped her glasses back on, only to see the horrified expression on Fluttershy’s face as her hands pressed to her mouth, her eyes beginning to tear up. Rainbow and Applejack were also staring at her, faces completely blank.
“What?” She asked, motioning her hands to either side. And when she did, she looked down and finally noticed her negligence.
“Oh, shit,” she muttered and she quickly yanked her sleeves back down and stood up, turning to leave. “I can't believe I just did that, I’m so goddamn stupid-”
Sunset firmly grabbed her hand, holding her in place.
“Girls, will you excuse the two of us for a second?” She asked.
Rarity stood as well. “I'm coming too,” she said.
“Girls it's fine,” Twilight protested. She made no move to break Sunset’s grip, however. “You don't need to make a big deal out of this-”
“Twilight.” Sunset only said her name, silencing her. The look in her eyes was resolute, steadfast in its gaze. No pity was to be found, only a fierce determination and an underlying sadness.
Twilight sighed and slumped her shoulders.
“Alright. Fine. I guess the cat was bound to come out of the bag sooner or later...”
“Come on,” Sunset urged, gently pulling Twilight away. “Let’s go to the little filly’s room.”
They left the cafeteria quickly, sparing only a quick look back as Fluttershy finally broke and burst into tears. Rainbow pulled her into a comforting hug. Applejack just removed her hat and slowly nodded as she stared at the wall.
As they walked through the hallway they could see off in the distance that Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo were eating their lunch together. However the older trio spared no time before walking into the bathroom, same as yesterday. A yesterday that felt like literal years ago, now.
When they were finally fully inside, Sunset let go of Twilight’s hand. Rarity checked underneath all of the stall doors before nodding to Sunset and standing by the main door.
“Twilight,” Sunset began, crossing her arms. “How long have you been cutting for?”
“It's not a big deal-”
Sunset pulled up her own sleeves, took Twilight’s hand again, and pressed her fingers to her wrist.
“Feel,” Sunset commanded.
Twilight did as she was told, not understanding why. But as gentle patterned bumps told a story, and she noticed silvery threads of old scar tissue crossing parallel over the veins and arteries, she felt her pulse drop.
“You...?”
“A long time ago,” Sunset began. “Back before we ever even met you, there was... an incident named Anon a Miss. A blog on MyStable pretended to be me. It was stealing secrets from all of our friends and making me out to still be a backstabbing bitch even after Princess Twilight reformed me, showed me the magic of friendship. Started simply enough; an embarrassing nickname for Applejack, some embarrassing photos of us in silly costumes, it was all just fun and games at the start by comparison to later on. It got worse... It got so much worse. Rainbow Dash’s all-Ds progress report got leaked, lewd photos of Rarity circulated the school, the, uh, genital size of certain ex-boyfriends of mine got out, and they even outed Rainbow before she was ready to come out herself. And everyone in this school thought it was me. In reality it was the CMC. At first Applebloom and Sweetie Belle did it because they were jealous that their sisters were spending Hearth’s Warming with me and not them, and just wanted AJ and Rarity to stop being friends with me, but Scootaloo had a personal vendetta against me because... well, long story short but she blamed me for her mom’s death.”
“Scootaloo hurt Rainbow Dash and Rarity to get to you?” Twilight asked, confused. “Why did she-”
“That's not important right now, so please let me finish. It worked. I was alone. All of my friends hated me, and I was depressed. I was suicidal. I was running out of reasons to live. The only things that made me even feel anything were chocolate ice cream, masturbation, self inflicted frostbite, and... cutting. My arms were destroyed, Twilight. What you're feeling here, now, is a patchwork of wreckage. Mistakes that I made. Scars that didn't heal fully. They probably never will. My skin was permanently marked. Eventually the truth came out and it all worked out in the end, but I still wore gauze wraps up my arms all winter and spring afterwards, and the memories never went away. Even now, on some nights I still have nightmares. Still, I often wake up in a cold sweat afraid that everything since then was all a dream and they really do still hate me. So believe me when I say that I know exactly what it feels like to have the urge to hurt yourself. I understand you completely.”
Twilight stood in silence, fingers tracing the scar tissue, silently absorbing the words.
Rarity came over and hugged Sunset from the side.
“Those were dark times for all of us... I'm so sorry Sunset.”
“I already forgave you for everything, Rarity. You don't have to apologize anymore.”
“I know, but... oh, I was so dreadfully naive. I really should have trusted you more than I did. Anyone who knew the things I did must surely have hated the me who did that as much as I do now.”
“Given the circumstances, I feel like you should give yourself a little more leniency.”
“I hate to interrupt,” Twilight said, not making eye contact. “And I genuinely appreciate that you trust me enough to talk about this. But what exactly does this story have to do with me?”
“W-What are you talking about?” Sunset asked, flabbergasted. “It has everything to do with you. Your wrists are a fucking war zone!” She turned Twilight’s arms over. “Look at this! How long were you planning on hiding this from everyone? How long has this been going on? How long were you going to suffer in silence for!?”
“I haven't cut deep enough anywhere where there was a major vein or artery,” she defended, feebly attempting to pull her arms away. “So I'm in no physical danger-”
“Carotid,” Sunset interrupted, placing a finger on Twilight’s throat. “Jugular.”
“Okay, that one was an accident!” She defended, taking a step back and escaping Sunset’s grip. “I slipped and nicked myself with a pizza cutter. It's why I put foundation over it, because I knew you would overreact when-”
“Overreact!?” Sunset cried. “You could fucking die! Like I almost did! One of us, or Creator forbid, your parents or brother walk into your room and find you dead in a pool of your own blood!”
“May I interject?” Rarity asked. “Sunset, you really need to cool down.”
Sunset paused before taking a step back, read the situation, then pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay,” she said, walking over to the sinks. “Just... okay.” She splashed some cold water on her face.
“Twilight,” Rarity said, drawing her attention. “Do you remember when we had our heart to heart before we got to work on the website?”
“...yeah. I do.”
“I had a bit of a sneaking suspicion that you were self harming at the time. You refusing to take off your sweater despite complaining about the heat, the way you keep your sleeves gripped in your fist, your body language itself. Scootaloo briefly went through a phase where they were self harming as well. I can see the signs. I didn't press the matter then because, as I said, if it were serious then you would tell us that something was happening. I certainly didn't want to pressure you, as that would have had adverse effects. But I thought that it was maybe one or two cuts, nothing like what I see here...” her delicately manicured fingernails deftly trace the thin outlines of darkened crimson scabs. “Now I see that I may have been correct, that if you truly thought it was serious, then you would bring it up. And the reason why you haven't said anything to us is because you don't think it's serious. That's what you'd like to say, isn't it?”
Twilight slowly nodded.
“However,” Rarity segued, turning her head to the other side. “May I postulate that this has nothing to do with your perception of the severity of your mental illness at all? This one looks particularly fresh, like it happened very recently. Forgive me if I am stepping out of my lane, but are these...” she sighed, before whispering. “Is this punishment for your sapphic proclivities?”
Twilight froze.
“One, two, three...” Rarity continued to count up both arms, before reaching the final one. “Hmm. I can't say I know your entire schedule for the last few weeks, but would it be wrong to suppose that every single one of these is directly linked to a point in time where you were in a situation where your attraction to your friends came to light? And your guilt drove you to do something about it? And you haven't told any of us because we would come to that conclusion?”
Twilight ripped her arm away and took several steps away, standing in one corner of the room.
“Twilight, that day was full of my carelessness leading to your discomfort. And that scab looks to be nearly two days old. I want you to be honest with me. Do you cut yourself to atone for the lust you perceive yourself as morally reprehensible for possessing?”
Midnight stood just behind Rarity, towering over her. Her mouth grinned widely, holding far too many teeth which were all far too sharp.
“...yes,” Twilight finally admitted. “I just. I can't stop feeling like shit all the time. Like I deserve to have something bad happen to me because I sexually objectify my friends. And, I know, that that's not what’s happening. I know everything you said is true, that I’ve never made you or any of the girls feel bad if my eyes wander, never been creepy, never hurt any of you. But it's like my hands have minds of their own, separate from my logical and rational mind. I don't want to do it, I don't want to hurt myself, I don't do it because I want to feel the pain or anything like that,” her voice began to speed up, and her body started shaking, “Because I don't. I hate it! It fucking hurts! But I can't stop, I can't stop it. I can't stop doing it. I want to stop, I want so badly to stop, but I can't, I can't do it!”
“Twilight, breathe.” Rarity took Twilight’s hands in her own. “In two three four, out two three four. Can you do that?”
It took a minute as she wrested the shudders now racking her body, but eventually she fell under control and followed the breathing exercise. In two three four, out two three four. A minute passed by as she did so, until she finally fell into a state of relative calm. At least she appeared to be so on the outside, as adrenaline still coursed through her veins, spurned on by being caught red handed- or red wristed- by the subject matter at hand, and the chelsea grin of the phantom. Midnight didn't say anything, she didn't even move. She just watched.
“Twilight,” Sunset said, finally stepping back over. “I'm not here to judge you. I'm not here to yell at you, or guilt you, or even admonish you. I'm here to help you. You believe me, right?”
She nodded, but couldn't make eye contact.
“Good. I admit I did get heated, but please know that it's because I care about you. I don't want you to hurt. But I cannot help you if you don't tell me that something is wrong. None of us can. We’re not mind readers. I mean,” she pulled her geode necklace out of her shirt. “I am, technically, but I can't- no, I WON’T do it without consent. Last time I did, well, you were both there, I pulled directions to Rainbow’s house from Fluttershy. But that was an emergency so it doesn't count. Point is, none of us can do anything to help if we don't know that there's anything to help you with.”
“What is there to help...?” she mumbled. “None of you are doctors.”
“I don't mean to help you stop cutting,” Sunset put her hands on Twilight’s shoulders. “Only you can take the initiative to do that, with licensed medical professionals, psychiatry, hell, even hypnotism if you think it'll work. I mean to help you emotionally make it through another day. To help you feel loved and cared for even if it feels like the world around you is dying. To help you be in a good mental place while you seek answers for yourself.”
“I'm not depressed,” Twilight snapped, before wincing, looking down, and returning to a more neutral tone. “I don't want to die. I don't think the world is useless and life is pointless and all of that melodramatic nonsense. I don't feel any of those emotions. It's just guilt from what I guess is maybe just some internalized homophobia, helplessness at the fact that I have impulses I can't control, and a general sense of... I don't know, detachment. I don't have anything wrong with my psychological profile. I'm sane, I’m healthy, I don't need to be coddled. I don't need help in the way you think I do, okay, I’m not constantly bursting out in tears because I'm so goddamn sad. I’m not sad at all!”
“That's not-” Sunset pressed a palm to her forehead. “Depression isn't just sadness. It's a lot of different things caused by a lack of serotonin and dopamine and other chemicals in the brain. You said that you're feeling detached, and that is a symptom of depression!”
“It. Is not. Depression,” Twilight mandated, teeth and fists clenched. “It's not a chemical issue in my brain, it's entirely a physiological phenomenon.”
“How can you really say that, when you've been in a mental and emotional rut since summer! Wait...” Sunset took a step back. “Summer... Is that when you started this?”
“What are you talking about, since summer?” Twilight asked, taking another step back and cradling her arms to her chest. “That was several months ago!”
“You've been shutting everyone out since the summer, specifically since that day we all tried on swimsuits. You ran off, Rainbow had to practically drag you back, and then you just... shut down.” Sunset sighed and leaned back against the sinks. “You didn't come out in the water with the rest of us, you didn't sit at the bonfire and roast marshmallows with us, you didn't do anything all weekend! You just popped a dozen antihistamines to fall asleep before the sun set. You sat in your room all day, drugged out and antisocial. That's not the Twilight we knew from the Friendship Games, not the Twilight we all know and love. Something has been wrong with you. And I just chalked it up to, you know, stress from school and residual dark magic and seeing all of us in bikinis being just too much for your horny brain to handle, but you never stopped. You don't even hang out with any of us anymore, unless we ask a favor from you. Ever since that beach house trip. Not until last night. And speaking of last night, there's something else going on you haven't mentioned, because you clearly shut your eyes and you were crying before you ever even saw the magic, so that's a lie too!”
“Sunset,” Rarity interrupted, stepping between the two. “You're getting combative again. If you keep this up, then you are leaving.”
“I'm not trying to be combative,” she said in defense. “I'm just saying that something is wrong, and she's not even fucking acknowledging it!”
“It is not your place to force her to acknowledge anything!” She defended, adopting a wide stance and pointing her finger. “You are not her senior. You are not her mother. And you are definitely not her keeper. You have no authority over her whatsoever. I know you mean well but this is not accomplishing anything! You're clearly letting your own history of trauma cloud your judgment. I know that what happened to you was terrible, and every day since I found out who truly violated my trust, I have regretted every single nasty word I ever said to you, and I can never take back any of them. But here, now, I know that we both can agree that Twilight is our priority here-”
“This is exactly fucking why I hid this,” Twilight growled, crossing her arms. “I knew you were all going to freak out and start fighting. None of this is going to do anything other than make everyone miserable, and make me feel like a burden. I. Am. Fine. I'm not in perfect condition, I’m in a rut as you say, but I will power through this alone like I've powered through everything else in my life.”
“We’re not... fighting,” Rarity sighed, defeated. “I see where you're coming from, Twilight. But we’re worried about you. It's not exactly like you to slice your arms open, and surely there is some sort of correlation between the cutting and the events at the mall preceding the beach house, the last time I saw you wear short sleeves. And can you really blame us for worrying? Fluttershy will no doubt be crying profusely even now when we go back. She may even have to go home early. And that isn't your fault, but think about it. Truly think about it. Imagine if I suddenly showed up to school with tally marks carved in my arms. Or Rainbow Dash, or Applejack. You would be concerned as well.”
“Maybe so, but I...” Twilight rubbed her eyes underneath her glasses. “Look, we’ve already figured out what's going on. You girls are all so free with your bodies and affection and all that stuff and that's fine, but it's like... it's like you don't take into account my feelings on the matter and how seeing you girls in skimpy clothes or whatever makes me feel.”
“I only just found that out now,” Sunset quipped. “So how could I take it into account? You never said anything about it before. What, do my crop tops send you in a tizzy? Rainbow’s ass in gym shorts, Rarity’s skirts and thigh highs, Pinkie’s tits in low cut shirts?”
“Sunset-” Rarith attempted to interrupt, before she herself was interrupted.
“Yes!” Twilight cried, exasperated. “All the time! Have you seen yourselves? You're fucking hot! You're fine to wear whatever you want but it's like, and note I said it's like, not that it is, but it feels to me, in my head, personally, you wear things that accentuate your assets on purpose to make not just me but other people take notice.”
“I'm a horse, Twilight. I would go naked if society said it was acceptable to. But they don't, so that's why I wear at the very least shorts and a bralette. And, I get that you have your issues when it comes to that, but honestly that's your cross to bear. We’re all here to help, support, listen, all that jazz, but we can't help that you wanna fuck us. We can't help that you feel like a bad person because of it. We can tell you that it's fine, that you're not a bad person, but what we can't do is just not ever wear clothes that make you uncomfortable.”
“I never asked for that-”
“Then what the hell do you want us to do?” She interrogated. “From what I can tell, you're offering problems but no solution. You're smart, you're smarter than all of us, maybe even put together, surely you can figure out a plan of action!”
“Sunset, that is enough!” Rarity finally shouted. “Three times now! Three times you have escalated this situation. This is exactly why I came with you because I knew that you would let your paranoia about the blog interfere with your impartiality here. So please, just go back to the cafeteria, okay? Twilight and I will finish this conversation alone.”
“But I-”
“You are hungover, and it is making you act like- and I say this as your friend who loves you- like a real bitch. Twilight doesn't deserve that treatment, especially least of all right now! We can continue this conversation later but right now it is not going to go anywhere. Both of you are not in the best state of mind, and both of you are only going to make things worse if you continue to bicker. So please, go and comfort Fluttershy and tell her that everything will be fine, while I stay here and make sure that Twilight is all right. Okay?”
Sunset closed her eyes and took a deep breath before letting it all out.
“You're right,” she ceded, putting her arms out. “I’m hungover. I'm emotionally compromised. I’m being a bitch. You're right. Look, Twilight, I-”
“I said-”
“Let me apologize. Please.”
Rarity took a deep breath, crossed her arms, and stepped to the side.
“Twilight,” Sunset began. “I’m sorry. I am letting my own history with cutting get in the way of logic and reason, and you don't deserve that. After all that we’ve been through together, I owe you a lot more than incoherent post-drunken ramblings. I hope that you can forgive me for being unreasonable right now, and I hope we can have a better and more honest heart to heart later on when we don't both have horrible headaches, okay?”
“I’m sorry too,” Twilight responded, looking the other way. “I don't take it personally. I'm also in a not so great place myself. Taking a breather apart is probably for the best. No hard feelings, but we definitely just need to not be in the same room for a bit. Maybe by psych we can have a regular conversation without it turning into a screaming match?”
“Yeah... sounds good...” Sunset strolled over to the exit, before turning back around. “Rarity, thank you for mediating. I'll go check on Fluttershy.”
And with that, she turned and left, leaving behind the pair.
“How are you feeling?” Rarity asked, not sparing a moment.
“I'm... fine, I guess,” Twilight answered, not paying her much direct attention. She was focused instead on the mirror, where she saw something that piqued her interest. It would be more accurate to say, she didn't see something. Midnight cast no reflection in the mirror.
“You do understand Sunset’s position, as I do, right?”
“Yeah...” Twilight returned her attention to her friend. “Yes. Of course I do. It's just... hard to hear. Especially from someone I love.”
Rarity took Twilight’s hands in her own. “You really do care about Sunset, don't you?”
“Of course I do. She's like my best friend. You're all my best friends, of course, but she's just... special. To me. In a way that nobody else could be. In a way that none of the rest of you could understand. A way I hope you never do.”
“I understand. And I of course only take the slightest bit of offense that your best best friend isn't moi~”
“Well don't worry, you're definitely the silver medal.”
“I can't ask for better than that, I suppose, given the proverbial competition... although, I do have a. Somewhat relevant question.”
“Shoot.”
“Are you... in love with her?”
Twilight had no answer to offer. Not that she didn't know the answer, as she definitely did. But she just didn't want to say it out loud.
“Your silence speaks volumes, darling.”
“Am I that obvious?”
“I am no stranger to crushes and the like. And of course your secret is safe with me. But, ehm...” she leaned in close and whispered. “On a related note, I checked my computer’s search history.”
Twilight’s blood turned to ice as she regretted teaching her how to do that. “And?”
“I couldn't help but notice that, at the same time I left the room, someone had clicked on a certain aesthetics blog I run.”
“I'm so sorry, Rarity, I-”
“I'm not mad. If anything, I should be the one to apologize. You see, that blog... it exists as a sort of source of inspiration for me. I have a side hobby in erotic photography- not of myself, not anymore- but that of other people. Fashion is my calling, of course, but I do enjoy and appreciate the art of the photo. There are a lot of references in outfits and poses and lighting and such on that blog. And, ah. Something else that I genuinely hope remains a secret, so as to protect the identity of the model. You see... I have taken photos of certain people who both of us may or may not know, and posted them on that blog. I need to know, for her sake, if you happened to recognize any of those girls.”
“Wait...” Twilight fought to keep her heartbeat under control. “If you know that I found your art blog of sexy girls, then... you know that I didn't cut myself because of you specifically?”
“Oh, I only said that it was because of me in order to keep the fact that I have such a blog a secret. I knew you already knew, but I was hoping to keep Sunset out of the loop. Discretion is the better part of valor after all. However, the point still stands; it just wasn't me.”
“Right... well, I, uh. I recognized the lingerie one, because it's the one you were looking at in your car, the one you were thinking about buying for yourself. But, um... I don't really think I recognized anyone. Who, eh, who was it? Maybe if you say her name I’d remember.”
“If you can't recall, then it's most likely a no,” Rarity said, breathing a sigh of relief. “I of course shan't divulge the identity of the person in question, to protect them of course. Not that I don't trust you implicitly, but it's merely a matter of principle. If Sapphire Shores herself asked me in return for a lifelong career, I would still say no. I would most definitely hesitate, but ultimately would say no anyway.”
“Right, right, I understand,” Twilight murmured, fighting the urge to tug at her collar. “But no, I don't think I recognized anyone. I didn't really scroll that far down, I stopped at, eh, two girls who were...”
“Ah, that one,” Rarity nodded, sagely. “Okay, good, all is well. You didn't see anything you shouldn't have. Well, other than all of the everything else, of course. It doesn't matter now, I’ve deleted them already- her request. Er, their.”
“I assume you're trying to keep the pronoun neutral to keep the gender a mystery and you're not hosting child porn of Scootaloo, of course.”
“Right on the money, you are. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. The point is, that even though the blog exists for nonsexual purposes for myself, you are definitely welcome to peruse it in case you feel the urge to, shall we say...”
“You don't have to say anything,” Twilight said as Rarity trailed off. She put her palms out as color touched her cheeks. “I get what you're getting at... and, uh. Thanks. I... probably will do that when I get home.”
“Oh my, can't wait, can you?”
“Yeah...” Twilight rubbed her arm, blushing. “I, uh. I didn't do it yesterday. I usually do it every night, my libido has been pretty standard in that regard for a while, so my body’s in that kind of mood anyway.”
“I understand how you feel, if not in practice then at least in theory. I personally don't ever do that, I would feel dirty, but I can at least imagine what it would feel like.”
“So uh...” Twilight grimaced. “Actually, are the photos of the person you're not telling me who it is but it's probably Sunset still on there?”
“No, I deleted them last night- I mean-” Rarity’s jaw dropped. “No it's... it's not her, it’s... how did you?”
“You kinda told her she was being paranoid about the blog, and given the context that makes sense,” Twilight adjusted her glasses. “I take it you told her that I might have seen her nudes once you saw I saw the blog in your history?”
Rarity sighed and slumped her shoulders. “Every day I underestimate your powers of perception. But yes.”
“It wasn't really perception,” Twilight admitted, rubbing her arms. “I... overheard you both in this bathroom yesterday at lunch.”
“Oh for the love of-” Rarity covered her eyes with her hands. “You heard all of it?”
“Every word, from when you asked if Midnight was back to when she asked if Star Swirl discovered the atom. No to both, by the way. Star Swirl was the one who discovered- okay, not important right now. Look, as for my notebook doodling, I don't even really think about the things I draw, it's all just from my subconscious. Psych is just really really boring and uninteresting. The fear she was talking about, I mean, I don't really feel afraid of anything, I just feel really anxious all the time, ever since I started doing this,” she motioned with her wrists. “But yeah, I heard you say that she had nudes on that blog and that you thought I saw them. And let me just say that, I would never judge you for doing something like that, and I wouldn't judge her either. I mean, part of me would like to see that, but... that's a complete and total violation of her privacy if she doesn't want me to see it. So, if she doesn't want me to see it, and I know it exists, and I’m curious about your blog... are those pictures still on there?”
“No, they're... they're all gone.”
“Okay. Good. I can scroll in peace, in that case.”
“Hold on, Twilight, you heard about Sunset’s plan of magic decontamination?”
Twilight winced. “Yeah. I, uh... this is gonna sound stupid but I was really paranoid that if they found out that Midnight was back they were gonna kill me.”
Rarity froze and raised an eyebrow at this. “Really?”
“Like I said. Anxiety. Paranoia. My guilt spirals are really powerful. That's probably what she was talking about, and that's what caused my attack. It's not depression. I know it's not. The symptoms are all wrong. It's something else, and I don't want Sunset to worry about me. I don't want her to think I’m pathetic.”
“She won't think that!”
“I know she won't, logically, but the hormonal teen idiot reptile brain thinks she would. Reason I can talk about this with you is, well, you already know about this stuff. You're the only one I've told so far so I know that I can trust you.”
Rarity pursed her lips and stood in thought for a moment. Eventually, she spoke.
“I’m glad you trust me,” she said, still quizzical but genuine. “So, let me get this straight. You find your friends to be attractive, and given the opportunity you would have sex with us, so you feel like you're sexually objectifying us, which makes you feel like a bad person, which forces your body to inflict pain upon yourself?”
Twilight shrugged. “Pretty much.”
“Is anything I could say going to make that stop happening?”
“Doubt it.”
Rarity said nothing in response; she merely stepped closer and put her arms around Twilight. “This is the worst feeling I’ve had in a long time. This feeling of complete and utter helplessness as one of my best friends struggles alone. And I mean that; you are so important to me. I wish I could just reach inside of you and take that pain away. But I’m sure that what I feel pales in comparison to the hardships that you're going through right now. So I just want to let you know that I am here for you, and I would never judge you for your sexuality, and if you ever need anything I will always be here for you. The next time you feel the urge to hurt yourself, please don't hesitate to call me. I swear I will be there for you when you need it, just as you were there for me when I needed help. If you feel you don't deserve it, consider it a return favor for making me the website, okay?”
Twilight nodded. “Sure. I'll... I'll call you.”
“Good. I'm glad to hear.” Rarity pulled back and adjusted Twilight’s sleeves. “I may have some armwarmers or long fingerless gloves that you can use in place of that drab gray old jumper. I can bring you some tomorrow if you'd like.”
“I might appreciate that, Rarity, but...” she looked down and bit her lip. “I kinda like this sweater.”
“Of course, I won't force you. I'm just giving you options.”
“I know, and... I appreciate that, Rarity. I'm lucky to have you as a friend.”
She gave a small smile in return. “You're right.”
The two laugh, but before either can say anything else, a new arrival walks into the room. Or, more specifically, two do. Rainbow Dash leads the way, with a teary-eyed Fluttershy in tow attached to one hand.
“Hey,” Rainbow said, putting her free hand in a jacket pocket. Her face was stoic, but the facade slowly broke down. “So, um. Twi. Sunset came back. She didn't tell us anything, so the two of us came to see that you were, you know... that you were okay and stuff. AJ stayed behind so Sunset wasn't alone, but also because... Fluttershy needed to come and she's more comfortable with me here. And I... I just, uh...” She sniffed and wiped off her eyes before her voice broke. “I'm scared too. I had no idea you were hurting...”
“Rainbow,” Twilight murmured, walking over to pull both girls into a hug. “I... look, I just. I know that I haven't been honest with all of you about a lot of things. But it isn't as big a deal as it seems, okay, I’m just... having a problem. I’m not depressed, I don't want to commit suicide, I’m perfectly healthy. This is just... punishment for my internalized homophobia. I've been hiding it from all of you because I didn't want any of you to judge me for it. Which is admittedly really really stupid, I know.”
“Yeah, kinda,” Rainbow said with a small sad smile. “I mean, you and I made out how many times when we dated?”
“I know, it's not rational. But I think the hardest problem was admitting to it. Now that I have, and I’m starting to actually let you all know that I’m having a problem, I think that... I can recover now. The worst is over. I guess it was a good thing that I got so drunk I lost myself so that this conversation could happen. I just wish it was more subtle and not as jarring and traumatizing for all of you. Especially you, Fluttershy, I probably scared you.”
“It's not that,” Fluttershy whispered. “I’m not crying because I’m scared. I'm crying because you aren't. You're hurting and you're not letting yourself feel what you should be feeling. And you're hiding from us, and…” she fidgeted with her hands for a moment. “I remember what you told me at the beach house.”
Twilight bit her lip and looked down as she thought back to the exact conversation Fluttershy was referring to.
/x/x/x/
This is an Author’s Note. The following is a completed excerpt from an unreleased chapter of The Beach House. I decided to use that section here instead, since I am going to be rewriting both anyways, and I would like all of my efforts to not have been wasted. Besides, it is relevant, pertinent, and honestly it’s to cut this section into two more easily digestible chunks. Again, I will detail more information on the rewrite at the end.
And now, flashback music. Doodle-oo, doodle-oo, doodle-oo…
/x/x/x/
“Twilight?”
Fluttershy stepped into the house through the deck door, slipping her flip flops off onto the mat directly inside. She glanced into the living room but saw it was deserted. Her search was cut short as she heard clinking coming from the kitchen.
“Twilight, are you in here?”
As she stepped closer through the dining room, she could hear both quiet sobbing and liquid pouring. The latter noise stopped, and a moment later came the sound of a closing refrigerator. The rattling of a bottle of pills followed, but the crying continued.
“Twilight!” Fluttershy called, this time at an audible volume, as she entered the kitchen.
The girl jumped before turning around and wiping her eyes from underneath her glasses. Behind her back she slid a bottle in the space between the microwave and the fridge and faked a smile, holding a fist tightly closed.
“Hey, Fluttershy,” she greeted, voice shaky. “You, uh. You startled me. What's up?”
Fluttershy glanced down at the pink and blue box. “Benadryl?” She asked. “Are you... having allergy problems?”
Twilight’s eyes shifted to the right for a moment before she adjusted her glasses. “Uh... yeah...” she looked back at her concerned friend. “My, uh, eyes are watering really bad.”
Fluttershy strode forward and leaned against the opposing counter, grabbing her wrist in the opposite hand. “I'm sorry to hear that. Is there anything that I can do?”
Twilight nodded and smiled. “No, unfortunately I just think that'll be it for me for the day. Maybe I’ll stay up for longer tomorrow, but for right now I’m just out of it. And, uhh...nfortunately we don't have the non-drowsy stuff. So... yeah.”
Fluttershy gently nodded her head before moving her hands to the counter edges on either side of her hips. “What are you allergic to... sand? Salt water?” She looked up directly in Twilight’s eyes. “The sun?”
Twilight pursed her lips and exhaled through her nose.
“I heard you crying, Twilight.” She continued. “You aren't a very good liar. You never have been.”
“I'm not...” Twilight looked down at the pills hidden inside her enclosed fist and sighed. “I just wanna go to sleep now.”
“But why!?” Fluttershy cried, coming into the floor and gently stamping her foot, adopting what for her was a confrontational stance but for anybody else was fairly similar to the aloof, neutral pose of a certain friend of hers. “The sun hasn't even set yet, and we were all going to go roast marshmallows once it did. It wouldn't be right if you weren't there, since you're the reason we’re all even here in the first place!”
“You wouldn't understand...”
“Is it because of the swimsuits?” She asked, taking a few steps forward and reaching for her friend’s arms. “It's going to get cold during the night, so we’ll all be more covered up.”
“No, it's not that,” Twilight protested, turning away. “I'm telling you, you wouldn't get it!”
“Twilight, please...” Fluttershy touched her friend’s shoulder. “Something is making you upset and it hurts me to see you in pain like this. I just want to help you.”
“It isn't something you can help me with...” Twilight set her own hand over the one on her shoulder. “It's just circumstantial happenstance and bad luck. I'm only going to ruin the mood by staying around so I was going to go to sleep and make sure you all could have a good time...”
Fluttershy took a step forward and wrapped her free arm around Twilight’s middle, pulling her into an embrace. She put her forehead on her friend’s upper back, paying no mind to the girl’s hitching of breath. “Don't say that,” she whispered. “Please don't ever say that...”
“S, say what?” Twilight asked, painfully aware of every square inch of skin and fabric touching her, although comparatively there was significantly less fabric in all.
“We love being around you, Twilight!” Fluttershy scolded. “Your presence will never ruin any mood that we’re in, unless it's a sad one. This is a lesson I had to learn a long time ago, when I was struggling with my own depression, one that Rainbow tried to teach me. We’re your friends. We enjoy and appreciate your company. You shouldn't think otherwise...”
“It's not that...” Twilight put her arms out and subtly tried to extricate herself from the tightening grasp. “I told you, it's not- I’m... it isn't self deprecation!”
“Then what is it?” Fluttershy choked out. “Why are you so sad you'd rather sleep alone than be around us?”
“Urgh- because I AM ALONE!”
The sudden shock of volume was enough to set Fluttershy’s grip weak, allowing Twilight to fully pull away. In the brief moment of freedom she tossed back the half dozen pills she had been hiding, then grabbed at her glass and took several large gulps.
“Twilight!” Fluttershy gasped, covering her mouth with both hands.
“At my weight it would take a lot more than six to hurt me. I'm just making sure I'll be asleep.” Twilight sighed and set the glass back on the counter, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “I'm going to bed. I'll either be up in a few hours or tomorrow morning.”
Fluttershy grabbed Twilight’s hand, setting her pulse skyrocketing due more to the surprise than the contact, though barely.
“You're not alone.”
Twilight glanced at Fluttershy out the corner of her glasses. “You don't understand.”
“Then please explain it to me! Before those start to kick in...”
Twilight grunted. “If I tell you, you can't tell the others. Not Sunset, not Rarity. And especially not Rainbow. And not Pinkie or Applejack either.”
“If that's your mandate then so be it,” Fluttershy said, firm with conviction. “I just want to see you be happy, Twilight, that's all that matters to me.”
“Happy? Tch...” she nodded her head sadly. “Fine. I wanted to cuddle with Sunset just like we used to when we all smoked pot together.” Twilight freed her hand and moved over to one of the island’s stools, pulling herself up onto it. She placed her forearms on the surface, and continued to speak directly into the countertop.
“I wanted to feel her skin on mine. I wanted to nestle in her arms, feel her heartbeat, smell her hair. Not in, like, a weird way. Kind of. Ugh, that is weird...” she sighed and took her glasses off, covering her eyes with her hand instead. “I like her. I have always liked her. From the day she saved me at the games, I've always been drawn to her. At first I attributed it to infatuation, the surge of hormones that pop up when someone physically attractive interacts with you. But it never went away.”
She rubbed at her eyes with both hands, resting her elbows on the table. “When you introduced us to cannabis, it was... freeing. With my inhibitions gone I had no qualms with crawling all over her, and she in turn had no problem with it either. It was perfect. I could hug her for as long as I wanted to, and nobody ever thought I was weird or perverted. I got to just be a stupid teenager who smoked dope and acted uncharacteristically until she was sober again.”
She waited for a response, anything, but Fluttershy said nothing. She knew there was more.
“And ever since she stopped smoking, I haven't gotten to do much more than a stupid little one armed side hug. I miss the feeling of her body in my arms, or vice versa. I miss being able to touch her despite my attractions and it not come off as being anything predatory. I know I’m gay and I like her but I know that she’ll never feel the same way, so I... I just want to express physical affection with my friends. But I don't get to... I don't get to have the opportunity.” Her hands came away wet.
“We have a sleepover, I build up the courage to ask her if I can hug her, by the time I do she’s having her nails done by Pinkie. We go to get breakfast, I wanna sit by her and see if I can hold her hand, Rainbow takes the seat and talks about music. We get in the car together, she takes the front seat. We get in the water, Pinkie ropes her into games I'm not comfortable with. We get out, she talks to you. And then, when maybe I have the best possible opportunity, she goes to Rarity, and Pinkie and Applejack, and you and Rainbow, you all have each other, you all have a perfect pair, a friend to be able to be physical with, and I have nobody, nothing. I'm the odd one out, the fucking castaway... the untouchable...”
She felt arms slip around her stomach again, and the floodgates opened.
“Oh, Twilight...” Fluttershy murmured. “You're not untouchable.”
“I, I know, but, I just...” she mumbled between breaths. “It just hurts, so much. I know I'm always chatting with you girls but it's always from a phone or arm’s length. And the only time that's ever not the case is if I'm having a goddamn emotional breakdown or something. You all don't ever hug me first when it's just us hanging out, but you do with each other, and it just...” she drew in a shaky breath. “It just feels like I’m back at Crystal Prep sometimes...”
“Twilight... what happened there?”
She shook her head. “They avoided me like the plague. Each other, too. Nobody ever touched or, or anything. Hugs didn't exist. Every day, all I had was Spike. Mom and dad were always gone, so at nights I would cuddle up with him in my bed and his warmth made me feel less alone. Before, when Cadance would babysit me, she let me sit in her lap whenever we did anything, and now, we don't see each other ever... do you know what it feels like to spend weeks, months, without ever even touching another person?”
“That...” Fluttershy held her tighter. “That sounds so awful.”
Twilight gently rocked herself back and forth. “My chest feels like it’s cracking open, spreading out. Like all of my insides are trying to force their way out. My heart crawls up my throat, and a blanket of, of ice just falls down and covers me. Like, I'm in the middle of a blizzard, and I can see fire, but I just can't reach it, it's always moving further away from me. That's how it feels when I don't get to feel another person for too long...”
“How much is too long?”
Twilight shrugged. “It depends. Depends on how long it was, my mental state when I did, how long it had been before the previous time, whether it gave me anxiety because I was scared they might think I was just being a pervert and using it as an excuse to grope them...” she leaned back slightly. “And yeah, I know that's stupid, but anxiety really doesn't listen to reason.”
“It rarely does,” Fluttershy agreed with a wry chuckle, pulling her arms even tighter and putting her head over Twilight’s shoulder so she could see her face. “And is that why you haven't told anyone this?”
“...yeah.”
“So does this have anything to do with the fact that you have a crush on Sunset and she’s in a bikini?”
Twilight shrugged. “I've already seen her in it. I've felt all the same stuff. Only difference is that I now remember that skin on skin contact gives oxytocin. So yeah, from a scientific perspective it would help that, but really I just wanna be held. I'm just closer to her than I am to the rest of you girls, except maybe for Rainbow Dash. For, you know, obvious reasons. You and Rarity are pretty high on that list, though, too. And Sunset’s the only one of you girls I'm really comfortable with asking about affection, hypothetically. Actually asking her, though-”
“What do you mean by that?”
Twilight blinked a few times, head drooping slightly. “By... what?”
“About Sunset being the only one that you're comfortable with.”
“Oh. I... I don't know. Rainbow, we’re exes so it would be awkward. Pinkie I don't know nearly as well, and Applejack would be uncomfortable with that. Rarity, she... she's intimidating, really, she's like the sun. She's so beautiful that I’m worried she would think that was the reason why, rather than because she's a wonderful person and a good friend.”
Fluttershy pursed her lips. “...and me?”
“You've always been so shy about things, no, uh... offense. I always just thought you were, you know. Not going to be comfortable with that thought.”
“Thought of what exactly?”
Twilight shrugged. “You, know, like... cuddles. I've only ever seen you be affectionate with Rainbow like that. Like earlier. Which is a shame because I calculated that you and Pinkie would be the best cuddlers of the whole group. And I know you're hugging me now but you've got that real maternal thing where you take care of us when we’re sad... so it doesn't really count as weird. Or... real? It's not a thing that's a thing that... oh wow I'm tired...”
“Oh boy,” Fluttershy muttered, struggling to keep Twilight from falling off the stool. “I think the pills are starting to kick in.”
“Oh...” Twilight shook her head. “I'm gonna go to bed now... but now you know why. You all did the cuddle thing and I don't have a person to do with. Thanks for listening and stuff... have fun tonight. You'll all have a good time. I'll make breakfast. Oh. My legs aren't working.”
“They're working right, I’m just supporting you.” Fluttershy pulled Twilight’s arm over her shoulders. “I'm taking you to bed.”
/x/x/x/
Back in the present day, Twilight turned up her gaze to meet Fluttershy’s eyes.
“What happened at the beach house?” Rainbow asked, glancing between the two.
“You can tell her,” Twilight murmured, crossing her arms and looking away again. “Everyone might as well know.”
Fluttershy hesitated for a moment before speaking. “Do you remember when I came outside the first night and told you all that she was sleeping?”
“Was that the night she took all the pills?”
“That was both nights,” she said, keeping Twilight in her periphery, watching her. “She talked to me before she fell asleep. She said some things that were… really sad. That were about… being friends with all of us. And about being attracted to us. And about feeling guilty about that. About how the guilt became loneliness. About how much it hurts. I should have done something more, I should have been there for you, Twilight.”
“You did plenty-“
“Did I?” Fluttershy reaches out to take Twilight’s arm. “Because I really don’t think that I did.”
“This isn’t your fault, it’s mine,” Twilight sternly worded, pulling her arm away. Her voice turns to a more gentle tone. “I thought I was strong enough to carry the burden alone, but my mind took over and said no I wasn’t. But now I know that that’s only because I felt alone. I’m hoping that now that all of you know, I can maybe start being more open to help and support in the future. That I can stop feeling alone and come to grips with the fact that I’m not because I have all of you in my life.”
Rarity bit her lip and furrowed her brow in confusion. Rainbow glanced at her, cocked a brow, then turned her attention to Fluttershy’s face which now glistened with more tears. And yet, different tears. She stepped closer to Twilight and the two embraced, leaving the others to exchange uneasy glances.
After a few moments the hug pulled back apart, and as they did so, Rarity and Rainbow gave the two encouraging smiles that didn’t quite reach their eyes.
“We all good now?” Rainbow asked.
“I think so,” Twilight replied, eyes focusing on the empty room. “I’m gonna head back to the cafeteria.”
“You do that,” Rainbow said, stepping to one of the stalls. “I gotta take a leak anyway.”
“I do as well,” Rarity added, stepping to the next one over. “Do keep our spots warm?”
“Sure,” Twilight said, lacing her fingers together with Fluttershy’s. “Come on, Applejack is probably worried.”
The two walked out and headed out of earshot.
After a few moments, Rainbow cleared her throat.
“So uh… what the hell just happened?”
“I presume you mean Twilight’s mood shift?”
“Yeah. You know I hate gossip, and I don’t usually blab about stuff like this. But that whole spiel sounded… kinda fake, tbh.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t say fake. Definitely generic. Rehearsed. And almost tailor made for Fluttershy.”
“Like, I get her issues kinda, we talked about them a lot when we dated, and after we broke up, and when we all went to go swimsuit shopping. She likes us so she feels like she’s a shitty friend, and I guess she punishes herself for it or something? That must be where the scars come from, right?”
“You are remarkably astute when you want to be, Rainbow, because that is exactly what she said. Or, well, it’s what I deduced and she confirmed. And it makes sense. And the most recent one, fresh as of when she came over. I was in a tank top. You can put together the rest.”
“Right. And taking the pills at the beach house makes sense. And that’s the last time I remember seeing her arms. I dunno if anyone else has.”
“I hadn’t.”
“She seems closest to you. Makes sense. And her issues are legit. They remind me of… Pinkie’s. From back when. But the way she talked about carrying the burden alone… she’s talked to me about it before. Has she talked to you about it before?”
“Yes. Twice in fact. Just the other day.”
“Mhm. It’s like she just wanted to get Fluttershy off her case… I’m gonna go talk to Pinkie. Fill her in on stuff. Might be best if I tell her. Shy would be too soft, AJ would be too rough. You and her had some bad blood during that time. I was the only one of us who really talked to her when she was cutting her thighs n’ stuff.”
“That makes sense as well…” Rarity sighed. “May I ask you a question?”
“Shoot.”
“Do you think that Twilight is being haunted by Midnight?”
“Midnight? Nah. She was super freaked out about turning into a pony last night.”
“Is that what she told you?”
“Yeah,” Rainbow shrugged. “Yesterday. Why?”
“She told me just before you arrived that she overheard a conversation out of context that lead her to believe that Sunset was going to kill her in Equestria.”
“What… the fuck? Why?”
“Because she was worried what they would do if they found out that Midnight was back.”
“Why would she worry about that unless…” Rainbow gasped. “Oh shit.”
“I don’t think she even realized she said it. Either that or she wants me to think that, and to worry about her.”
“Okay, look, I don’t think that Twilight is manipulating us or anything like that, she’s no Sunset.”
“Circa fresh-“
“Circa freshman year, yeah, I know, you know what I mean.”
“I do, yes, so now I’m genuinely concerned. She would have no reason to be worried about Sunset and the other Twilight overreacting to the point of executing her because Midnight was back if Midnight wasn’t back.”
“So, what, she’s lying about Midnight not being back? What would she have to gain?”
“Us not worrying about her…” Rarity groaned. “That girl is going through three hells, but she’s only telling us about one.”
“Three?” Rainbow asked. “Lesbian drama and Midnight is the two.”
“Her wrists,” Rarity quickly spat. “That’s three.”
“Oh, I thought the cutting part was part of the lesbian drama since that’s what caused it.”
“Right.”
Rainbow squinted her eyes. “Something else is up.”
“Nothing’s up!”
“Rare.”
Rarity held her position for a few moments before dropping her shoulders and sighing. “I don’t understand how you can forget so much in class when you’re so perceptive in any other situation.”
“It’s because I don’t give a shit about math. I give a shit about Twilight. What else is going on with her?”
“Alright. I’ll tell you. But only because I know your penchant for keeping gossip a secret. Twilight accidentally saw Sunset‘s nudes.”
Rainbow blinked. “Oh. TFW.”
“…what?”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “It’s a meme. That feel when.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It means, like… I get it. Probably made her feel uncomfy. It would make most people who weren’t her excited. And uh. I kinda figured that.”
“Really? How?”
“She texted me and asked if I ever saw my crush’s nudes on accident. I said no. On purpose, yeah, but never on accident. I figured out of all of us Sunset would be the one she had the biggest crush on. Especially since she was all over her every time we all ever got stoned together. So it makes sense that it was Sunset’s nudes. What, she put ‘em on your sexy blog?”
“Yes.”
An awkward silence rang for a moment.
“Dude, that was a joke. You have a sexy blog?”
Rarity continued to say nothing.
“Rares?”
“It’s for aesthetics.”
“Mmhmm. And I read Playboy for the articles.”
Rarity slapped her hands over her face. “Rainbooooow…”
“Alright, alright, I’m kidding, I know you’re straight. Anyway…” her smile faded. “If she cuts herself over thinking we’re hot in our clothes… man. Seeing Sunset must have frazzled the shit outta her. On top of the everything else.”
“Mm.”
Rainbow pondered for a few moments more.
“You think she, eh… you know?”
“What?”
“You think she mastur-“
“It’s not my business.”
Rainbow shrugged. “She did to me once. I think. I’m pretty sure. I meme I didn’t see it happening but I figured it might be.”
“Again… not my business.”
“Eh, yeah, you’re probably right.” She checked her phone before heading to the door. “I’m gonna head out and talk to Pinkie now. Fill her in. Text me and let me know if I miss anything important, okay?”
“I will. I should also leave. Sunset got a bit heated at Twilight earlier.”
“Yeah… makes sense. Suns went through this too. I…” she sighed. “Why’s it always us two picking up the pieces?”
“How so?”
“Well, AJ doesn’t really know how to help with stuff like this. Twilight, Sunset, and Pinkie all went through this. Fluttershy almost did. So it falls to you and I whenever any of them have problems like this.”
“Perhaps… perhaps it’s the price we pay for our strength.”
“Our strength, huh?” Rainbow glanced down the hallway. “Maybe. See ya, Rares.”
With that she disappeared around the corner.
As soon as she did so, Rarity whipped out her own phone.
“Sunset needs to know…” she muttered to herself, tapping furiously away.
“She needs to know that it’s Midnight.”
/x/x/x/
Author's Note
I am immensely dissatisfied with my work from 4-5 years ago. This took so long because I hated every draft. I didn’t want to upload garbage. Half of this was written in 2019, half was written within the last hour. But I am not giving up, damn it. I’m cutting scenes that aren’t important to the central narrative so I can get to the final chapters which are 100% written, I JUST NEED TO GET THERE FIRST.
Anyway, once this is completed, I fully intend to do a remaster of sorts. A ground-up revision of every chapter, every paragraph, every sentence. I was stupid and wrote chronologically in reverse because my adhd dumbass brain couldn’t focus enough to complete any one story but that’s not gonna stop me. So the Director’s Cut is coming. The scenes I skip will be there in the rewrite. The flow will be better. The character arcs will line up better. I won’t be stupid and keep having to reread entire chapters over and over again because I forgot which revision I’m on, which continuity I’m in; I FORGOT WHO SAID WHAT TO WHOM. And not just this fic. Every single fic in this chronology will be put together from beginning to end. From Upon Reflection to Stupid Girl to Milkshake to TFW YFYCN to The Dragonbourne pentalogy to Snack Cake Confessions to Coming Out to Copper Sulfate and beyond. All together in one fic for everyone’s reading convenience.
I’m sorry for the cut scene but I’m not sorry because it wasn’t necessary except as a spacing tool to indicate that time had passed. I will try to keep it less distracting in the future because the focus is now gonna be 100% on Twilight because essentially all of the subplots have now reached the point where they affect her directly. I’m going to finish this I swear. Here’s the proof, it’s in the pudding. Haha yes like the meme.
TFW You Find Your Crush's Nudes
TFW You Put Pineapple on your Pizza
/x/x/x/
“Egghead
‘Oh yeah, sure Twilight, because you ask me so many random questions about this stuff, huh?’ Rainbow thought to herself, leaning back on Applejack’s couch. She silently tapped out her response before taking a swig of cider. The hard stuff.
‘Idk I mean I've seen lots and lots of girls I've been sorta attracted to in the showers after like every single game for the past several years and it hasn't really been much of a deal. It would be different if it was a nude pic tho because those are usually sexy, ya know? But yeah, I've never seen one on accident. Like I said, I always asked for them. I probably can't help on that but I can ask who it was and where I can find it ;)’
“Woohoo! Get wrecked AJ!” Pinkie cried from by the TV as Meta Knight smashed Yoshi out of the stage.
“Consarnit Pinkie! I knew I shoulda picked Marth instead of goin’ random!”
Pinkie’s phone buzzed.
“Hey Dashie, what did Twilight say?”
Rainbow leaned over to glance at her new messages. “She says that’d be cool and she’d love to and that your parties are always fun. Should I say something back to her?”
“Nah,” Pinkie replied, beating the crap out of Applejack’s avatar again as she spoke. “I'll just wait until after you beat me next round.”
“If y'all even make it there!” Applejack cried before she lost her second to last life. “I could make a comeback!”
Pinkie giggled. “No you can't.” The doorbell rang. “Oohh, pizza’s here!”
“I'll get it,” Rainbow supplied, standing up and cracking her knuckles. “My turn to pay anyway,” she continued as she reached for her messenger bag and dug out her wallet. On her way to the door she pulled out two twenties before sticking the leatherbound Daring Do-marked piece of leather in the waistband of her underwear beneath her sweatpants.
Opening it revealed a familiar face.
“One large meat lovers and one large mushroom with half pineapple,” he said. “Hey Rainbow.”
“‘Sup Flash,” she greeted, handing over the cash and taking the two boxes. “Busy night?”
“Yeah actually. Just came from Twilight’s house. The, uh. Other Twilight. This one.” He opened his fanny pack and began to pull out the proper change. “You know what I don't get is why she’ll answer the door in a bathrobe and you'll answer in a tank top when it's almost freezing outside.”
“Wait, Twilight’s house?” she asked. “And she was there? Thought she was at Rarity’s. Oh well. You can keep the change, by the way; I owe you big for the wah pedal. How’s June?”
“Oh sweet, thanks Rain! Appreciate that,” he exclaimed, putting the coins back away and sticking the bills in before zipping it back up. “And she’s fine, her leg’s getting better. Right now she's waiting on the heating pad for me to get my rounds done and come home to give her a shoulder rub.”
“Yeah, not good to keep a girlfriend waiting... You can quit staring at my boobs any time now.”
“What? I- uh, um, I... what?” He stammered, blushing and looking everywhere but at the girl.
Rainbow burst out laughing. “I'm just messin’ with ya, man! If I saw me in this I'd steal a glance or two too, especially how cold it is. But yeah, get home safe, don't get in another accident.”
He breathed out a huge sigh of relief. “Okay good. For a second there I was worried you were actually mad at me. Twi seemed like she was mad at me too... but yeah, I... yeah, thanks. Have a good night, and tell the others I said hey!” And with that he walked back to his car.
“...probably too rough with him, but eh, he's a tough kid...” Rainbow muttered to herself as she brought the food into the living room to Applejack leaning in on her knees, excitedly cheering at her little green egg layer.
“I told you I could make a comeback! Do it, do it, do it! Who’s gettin’ wrecked now, huh Pink- wait a second... you're just messin’ with me, aren't ya?”
“Heehee, yup!” Pinkie laughed, as she pressed one button and sent Applejack flying.
“Game!” the television cried as AJ slumped her shoulders in defeat.
“Food’s here,” Rainbow interjected, setting the boxes down on the coffee table. “AJ, your meat, and Pinkie, your disgusting abomination that stands in direct defiance against all that is good and holy.”
“Mm-mm, delicious heresy!” Pinkie cried before taking a slice with plenty of pineapple. “I jusht hope they sherve pitsha in tartarush!” She mumbled through a mouthful of food.
“Also Flash says hi.”
A brief smile crossed over Applejack’s face as Rainbow said this, before she filled her mouth with a slice of her own. Rainbow noticed but didn't say anything. She hated just standing by and watching her friends deal with unrequited feelings and not being able to do anything about it or say anything to help.
Her phone buzzed. She reached over to grab it and her eyes widened.
“Hey, uh...” she looked between her friends. “You guys have a rematch, I gotta take care of something.”
/x/x/x/
‘it was sunset and I did something really bad and really stupid and I hurt myself again and I didn't want to but I did it anyway and now it hurts and I hate myself-’
clear message
“I told you, it was nobody. Send.”
‘okay I lied it was sunset and she’s really super hot which I mean I already kinda thought anyway but now I know it because I saw her nudes on a blog and I did something I'm not proud of and then I hurt myself again-’
clear message
“Just a random little curiosity, haha. Send.”
‘I saw sunset’s nudes and didn't really expect it at all and it affected me a lot more than it should have because midnight is here and she made me do it and I didn't want to do it but I did it and then I felt bad so I cut myself again-’
clear message
“I really liked the song, by the way. Colon capital D. Send.”
Twilight set her phone outside of the blanket she had pulled over her head, bathing herself again in darkness. Her knees were in her chest and she was crying again.
After her second orgasm of the night, which was slower (and drier) than the first, Midnight had of course taunted her more even though it was technically her actions that put Twilight in the position she was in. She didn’t tell that to the demon, though. She didn’t want Midnight to hurt her for backtalking again. Instead, she hid under the blankets like she did when she was a little girl.
It was there she stayed as Rainbow texted her response. Twilight wanted to tell her what had happened so badly, to share her struggles with the one friend who would probably understand more than any of the others, but at the last second changed her mind. She didn’t want to burden Rainbow with the negatives. That was part of the reason they had broken up, after all; Twilight had emotionally relied on Rainbow entirely too much, and hadn’t been able to be as supportive in return to help Rainbow with her own insecurities.
She then scanned through the rest of the list of her friends. Sunset was out as she was the root of the problem, or at least Twilight’s feelings for her were. Rarity was out as well since she’d find out that Twilight had been snooping through her blog and found that other one. Applejack wouldn’t really focus on the right part of the problem, Fluttershy might have a panic attack, and Pinkie Pie would probably spill the beans on accident in some kind of ‘Cheer Twilight up from feeling bad about masturbating to Sunset’ party. Granted that was probably her own mind just being pessimistic as always, but still.
Timber would no longer speak to her. She wasn’t close enough to Sour, Sugarcoat, Sunny, Lemon, or Indigo as she wanted to be. Flash was most CERTAINLY out (she didn't even have his number anyways), and Juniper was not in a state to talk about other people’s problems. Starlight wasn’t here right now. Princess Twilight was no doubt busy with... Princess-y stuff. She couldn’t talk to Spike about it because his canine brain literally couldn’t process it as fully as she’d need him to. Her parents were out because that would be too awkward. Shining was, well, her brother, and that would be super awkward.
Although...
Twilight peeked out of the blankets to see that Midnight was indeed gone, at least for now, so she reached for her phone again and scrolled through her contacts for her sister-in-law.
“Hey, are you awake? Send.”
Surely Cadance would be down with giving advice, right? She was the first person Twilight had ever come out to as gay, after all, even before she was effectively her guidance counselor at school. There were so many days that Twilight would talk to her for her entire free period about her various fears and insecurities and troubles, and Cadance always had time to offer an ear.
Blip!
‘Cadey
“I think I did something bad, and then I did something that I know is bad, and I don’t really know if I want consoling or guidance. I don’t know what I need either.”
‘Oh no! Are you okay?’
“That’s... kind of a loaded question.
‘That’s good to hear. But... what about eventually?’
“I don’t know.”
‘Well, walk me through the problem from the beginning. You always do things best when you put it in chronological order first.’
“Okay, well... you know about my crush on Sunset Shimmer, right?”
‘I do now.
“Well, I was just helping Rarity with web design today. Sort of. I helped her make a blog. But when she was gone I was clicking around and I found another blog with a lot of pictures of really pretty girls in lingerie and naked and kissing other girls and stuff.”
‘And... is this a problem, exactly? Seems like something that’d be right up your alley ;)’
“Omg >.<
‘...ah.’
“Rarity walked in the room right as I saw that picture but she didn’t know I saw it. After she took me home, I kinda... went to find it again. And then I... you know.”
‘So you’re feeling guilty about pleasuring yourself to a nude picture of somebody you have a lot of very strong feelings for? Twilight, honey, you don’t need to feel bad about yourself over that. Lots of people do this; men and women, straight and gay, and everybody in between!’
“Well I did it twice. But... it feels like a violation of privacy. If I didn’t click around on Rarity’s blog, I wouldn’t have found that one, if I hadn’t clicked exit as soon as I saw it was a sexy blog then I wouldn’t have seen the picture, and then... I looked at all the other pictures of Sunset that were on there, and I just feel so gross and dirty, like I raped her or something, because that’s kind of what I did!”
‘Twilight Sparkle, you didn’t do anything wrong >:( you’re an intelligent, blossoming young teenager satiating your sexual curiosity in a way that doesn’t cause anybody else distress. The only thing I really have a problem with is that nude pictures of Sunset exist on the internet. I know she’s like a magic pony wizard from another dimension but she’s still technically just a teenager. But she did consent to taking and posting those pictures, right? And besides all that, you're still going to respect her the same way you always have. And rape is a lot, LOT different from looking at a picture.’
“But there are plenty of pictures of other girls elsewhere on the internet! And just because she doesn’t know doesn’t automatically make it okay! What if she does eventually find out and she has a problem with it? Isn’t it a violation of privacy to do this behind her back? And I guess you’re right about all that, but I still feel gross.”
‘Well, if that’s how you feel, then what were your reasons behind doing it?’
“Well... I didn’t really have any reasons besides regular old teenage horniness... I wasn’t really in control of myself when I did it either time. It just sort of... happened.”
‘It sounds to me like you were emotionally compromised by seeing her naked and then it all just fell into place, does that sound right?’
“...yeah.”
‘The first time I ever saw my crush naked, I broke down crying. He sat there and hugged me and rubbed my back until I was calmed back down again. A girl’s first anything is always going to be a big emotional deal, gay straight or bi, and just because I ended up marrying that guy doesn’t mean anything. You don’t need to feel bad about something that’s a) out of your control or b) hurting anybody. And if the not telling Sunset about this feels like lying, or going behind her back or anything, just think about the alternative and how much it could potentially make things weird if you did tell her. There’s a rule that your brother told me about that might help you out here, that you can look if you don’t make it obvious that you’re looking, unless you want them to know that you're looking. I’ve seen pictures of you guys at the beach and all of you except for Fluttershy were in some really revealing bikinis; surely you took brief sidelong glances but didn’t make it obvious that you were doing so and make anybody uncomfortable, right?’
“First of all, gross, I don’t wanna hear about my naked brother :P second of all, that’s adorable. Third of all, I guess you do have a point because it’s just a surge of hormones... and the whole not-hurting-anybody thing makes sense... but isn’t it a problem if telling the truth is the bad thing to do? And I mean... yeah, I did... and it felt really nice to hug them because all the skin on skin contact triggered a huge release of oxytocin which felt wonderful... and also because other girls’ boobs just feel nice in general, haha... especially Pinkie’s. I could talk to Rainbow Dash about that, it might make me feel a little bit better. But I just... I don’t know. Maybe I should sleep on this and think about it again in the morning?”
‘Sorry, but now I know how to get under your skin, muahahaha!!!
“...no, I think that’s it. Thanks for listening to me Cadey.”
‘It’s no problem sweetie, I always have time for you :) but alas, these papers are calling my name. Sweet dreams, Twilight!’
“Good night!”
Click!
“How charming and sentimental.”
“I have to go to sleep.”
“Don’t you have to ask Rainbow Dash something?”
“...fine. But then I need to go immediately to sleep so I can do my homework in the morning because some body kept me from doing it tonight.”
“You watch your tone with me. You’re lucky I don’t drive you to make a cut that won’t stop bleeding... and that I want to watch you suffer for a long, long time. I’ll forgive you this time because you’re tired. Nighty night...” And with that, Midnight went into the closet, and shut the door behind her.
Twilight threw her still not being worn pajamas at the door, but she missed. She returned her attention to her phone and tapped out a question to Rainbow.
“I actually have another question about when we went on our trip to the beach house. Did you, you know... out of the corner of your eye kinda glance around at our bikinis and stuff? Send.”
She answered almost immediately.
‘Rainbow
Twilight sighed before reaching over, plugging her phone into its charger, setting her glasses on her nightstand, and nestling deeper into her bed. She laid awake for about an hour that seemed like two minutes before eventually drifting off. She didn’t have any dreams, sweet or otherwise.
RING!
RING!
RING!
RING!
After not nearly enough sleep, Twilight woke up to her alarm clock going off. She snaked her arm over and clicked the snooze button before groggily contemplating just going back to sleep again for another eight minutes and fifty or so seconds. Fortunately, logic prevailed, as she would just wake up a little more bitter later than now, and she picked up her phone.
No new messages.
She set it back down before turning to face the ceiling and wiping the corners of her eyes of grit. She smelled bacon; dad’s home. Gently folding back the violet comforter, Twilight reached into her side table drawer for her geode. Once it was in her grasp she reached towards her discarded pajamas and levitated them to her bed. She dropped the gem and began quickly putting the clothes on, excited to greet her parents for the first time in a few days.
Too quickly, unfortunately, as she accidentally bumped her wrist and hissed in pain. Slowly now, she put them on the rest of the way, actually being careful this time, as the memories of the previous night flooded in. Rarity, Sunset, Midnight, Flash, Rainbow, Cadance. A part of her regretted not telling her sister-in-law that she was getting bad again, but at the same time things had never been this bad before and she didn’t want to worry anybody. Especially not her family.
Twilight was careful to slip on a hoodie, Rainbow’s old one actually, that she’d given her back when they were dating. She hadn’t asked for it to be returned so it had stayed with Twilight. It was dark blue, closer to cobalt than navy, fleece-lined, and best of all... pockets! It wasn’t exactly baggy at the sleeves, so she did have to pull it a bit so she didn’t push off the gauze. Luckily this meant it would probably stay covering the evidence of her self mutilation a lot more easily than her jumper. Sunset almost saw yesterday; that was too close.
Plus, now her parents were back in the house. It wasn't too much of a problem the past few days, being alone. But now Twilight had to be extra careful hiding it. Nobody knew, or at least she hoped that nobody knew. Not her friends, not her family, not Cadance. They couldn't know. She could take care of this herself, and they didn't need to worry about her. Creator knew she overloaded them with her problems often enough these days.
Casting aside these thoughts, Twilight made her way downstairs. She briefly had a thought that she was forgetting something, but shrugged it off. She didn't eat last night and thus was feeling absolutely ravenous. If this were some piece of young adults fictional literature her stomach would be growling, but everybody knows that that sound is caused by peristalsis, which occurs after eating.
Twilight of course knew that her short term memory wasn't the best when she was hungry, yet she frequently went long periods without food. It was pathetic, really; pretty much every single one of her problems could easily be solved by simply changing just one small thing somewhere else in her life. Alas, there were more important things to do, like keeping up on studies and making sure not to just stop responding to her friends’ texts... and keeping up on hygiene, she added, as she felt her dry tongue against the roof of her mouth.
“Good morning...”
Twilight ignored Midnight as she made her way into the kitchen. There awaiting her was her father at the stove with a sizzling skillet chatting amicably with her mother, standing against the sink with a coffee mug. They seemed more jovial than usual, but something seemed slightly off. Perhaps they were groggy from jet lag?
“Hi mom,” she greeted. “Hi dad.”
“Hey!” boomed Night Light. “If it's not our favorite little girl!”
“Oh, Twilight,” Velvet cooed. “How are you this morning?”
Twilight’s eyes flashed between them for a moment. Something was up.
“A little tired,” she replied. It wasn't untruthful. “But I'm glad to see that you guys are home safe! How was the flight?”
“Oh, it was just fine,” he answered. “They got us here, with flying colors!”
“Dad.”
“It was certainly late,” Velvet continued, “But it was no different than the rest were. We’re almost at our frequent flyers goal, so that's exciting!”
Twilight nodded. “I can imagine.” Her mom’s hands were shaking slightly. One of the bacon strips was twisted over on itself. This wasn't jet lag. “How many days are you staying this time?”
“Trying to get rid of us, eh?” He asked, winking. His eyes briefly glanced slightly down. “Planning any wild parties this weekend?”
“If you are then you should absolutely invite us along,” she continued. “Because we’ll be here for almost a full week if you can believe that. Until Sunday!” She took a sip of coffee and almost missed.
“I don't know how wild it is,” Twilight said. “But there is one later today. Pinkie’s celebrating my coming to school here for two and a half years.” Their smiles weren’t reaching their eyes. “And it's not really a party but we’re getting together on Saturday. We should do something Friday night, if that works?”
“Of course!” Night Light cried. “It's been so long since the three of us did something together.” He turned to poke at the meat with a spatula. Weird, as you're supposed to use tongs.
“We’ll have to come up with something by then, but we’d love to spend some time with our favorite daughter!” Velvet bit her lip, as she stared at the stove. “No offense to Cadey, of course.”
“...right.”
An uncomfortable silence settled in as if nobody knew what else to say. Nervous, fake smiles all around, Twilight noticed the mess in the sink. There were a dozen wooden spoons, whisks, tongs, and other assorted utensils tossed in haphazardly.
‘Oh yeah,’ she remembered. ‘I made a mess and didn't clean it up. Well, too late now...’
“Well, I have to get ready for school now, and I probably won't be back until late evening.”
“At least eat some breakfast with us,” Night Light said, halting her in mid-awkward-step. “Please. We don't get to see you that often.”
“Well...” she defended, before figuring there was no harm in doing so. The damage had already been done. “All right.”
The family sat and ate; bacon and eggs for the adults, and reheated pizza for the teenager. She wasn't exactly what one would call vegan, not like Fluttershy, but Twilight wasn't a huge fan of a lot of meats, or eggs, or dairy products (though that last bit is more because she’s lactose intolerant than anything else).
They made small talk; how is school, how is work, what zany antics are crazy old Pinkie up to. Twilight couldn't shake the general sense of unease pervading the atmosphere, despite the apparent positive mood her parents were in. Surely they weren't that upset about the mess; they didn't even bring it up. Maybe they just assumed that gravity did it? But that didn't explain the mood.
It was palpable, but Twilight couldn't quite put her finger on what exactly was up. Midnight was being suspiciously quiet too. They couldn't have known her activities the previous night, right? No, this had to be something else. She continued to rack her brains for the remainder of the meal before it got to be the time that she absolutely had to leave without being late.
The family bid farewell to each other as Twilight headed upstairs quickly, but not too quickly. On the lowest step sat Midnight, grinning smugly for some reason or another. Twilight ignored her. She was just trying to get in her head, psyche her out. Well it wasn't going to work. Today was going to be a good day.
She entered her room, closing and instinctually locking the door behind her. She carefully took the hoodie off before removing her outer clothes. For only a brief moment her eyes went to the computer screen. She bit her lip. It would be prudent to get rid of the browser window in case her parents randomly decided to snoop. Which they wouldn't. But...
Twilight wiggled the mouse, brought up the window, and only hesitated for a few seconds before closing the window. There, now it was gone forever. She shut it down before striding over to her dresser and pulling out her outfit for the day. Jeans and a white t-shirt, nothing too special.
After dressing and reapplying the hoodie, she glanced briefly at the full length mirror in the corner between her bed and closet, not giving it any attention other than a once-over of her body. Eh. She shrugged and then put on a pair of shoes before walking back to her bed and rifling through her purse to make sure she had everything she needed for the day. Satisfied, she slung it over her shoulder before heading into the bathroom.
She stopped dead in her tracks as soon as she saw her reflection.
“Forget something?” Midnight taunted.
Twilight brought her fingers up to her neck, under the crimson scratch that had been left there. She didn't cover it up before talking to her parents! And it looked worse. There were a few thin rivulets of dried blood leaking out the sides as well.
“...damn it...” Twilight cursed as she dug in the sink for the peroxide and cotton swabs. She had to use the last of the chemical to clean off, and then she turned to see the concealer. Well, at least Midnight was slow and methodical enough to be polite like that.
After plunking the bottle into the trash can between the sink and toilet, she began applying the purple makeup the way Rarity had showed her to. After a minute, it was sufficiently blended and looked good as new. There was of course a little bump, but you could only really see it if you were looking for it and were close enough to do so.
After that was eyeliner and mascara, then she brushed her teeth and hair, and then came the application of antiperspirant and body fragrance. After a once-over, everything seemed to be in working order, so she turned to head downstairs. She ignored Midnight and headed straight out the front door.
Today was going to be a good day. It better be.
/x/x/x/
Today was going to be an absolutely awful day!
Sunset and Fluttershy had overslept through their alarm, and frantically crammed an hour’s worth of getting ready into about ten minutes. They were both groggy from the lack of sleep as well as the stress of dealing with what had happened last night.
Fluttershy had stayed the night over at Sunset’s apartment because her brother was staying at her parents, and she absolutely hated being around Zephyr (though she would never admit it). Everything had been totally fine: they had a nice dinner, watched a movie, and headed to bed at a reasonable hour. Then the night terrors happened, which triggered a panic attack that including the comedown lasted for nearly two hours.
Sunset had immediately called Rainbow Dash, who was luckily still awake, and she had taken care of what she needed to, and when everything was calm again, Fluttershy had needed consoling (which Sunset was more than willing to offer). This lead to them falling asleep a lot later than usual, which lead to them waking slightly later than usual, which now had them on Sunset’s bike breaking the speed limit on the way to school.
Luckily no police officers or idiot pedestrians were in the area, and the pair made it in record time.
Rarity’s car was at the very back of the lot, as always. Applejack’s truck was at the very front, also as always. Fluttershy and Pinkie’s cars were at their respective houses, and the last remaining members of their group didn't drive. Sunset parked next to the scarlet rustbucket before tossing her helmet in the back of the pickup. Fluttershy gently set her own down on top of it.
The moment the bell rang, they had made it in, and began the day.
The morning classes passed uneventfully; Sunset and Rainbow Dash chatted in machine shop, she copied off of Pinkie’s notes in history much to Rarity's disapproval, and she let Applejack copy off of her own notes in biology. But when she was in psychology with Twilight...
“Hey.”
She jumped, and turned around. For just a brief moment, Twilight had looked panicked and fearful, but it went away immediately. “Hey Sunset,” she intoned, adjusting her glasses. “Ice to see you.”
Sunset’s eyes narrowed. “Har dee har,” she muttered darkly before grinning at the pun. “Don't be mean, I was actually freaking out a little bit.”
“I'm sorry,” she replied. “I'm just having a little bit of fun.”
“You've got too much Rainbow Dash in you now.”
Twilight smiled at this, but the teacher began speaking.
“Good morning class, today we’ll be turning to page one seventy six and begin reading the section out loud. Be sure to pay attention, as it will be very important, and will most certainly be on the exam. Miss Shimmer, why don't you start us off?”
“Alright, might as well,” she began before clearing her throat. “Schizophrenia is a disabling, chronic, and severe mental illness that affects more than 21 million people around the world. Symptoms include hearing internal voices, having false beliefs, disorganized thoughts and behavior, being emotionally flat, and having hallucinations...”
Thus was another day in psychology class. Sunset didn't mind the droning too particularly. There really wasn't much talk of psychology in Equestria, as they just used magic to make everything better. Here though, it was a lot more complicated, and it cost a lot of money to take care of things like this. It seemed unfair, but that was culture shock for you.
She really learned a lot of interesting things here. She knew enough about “hard sciences” as they were simply the foundation to magic back home, but these “soft sciences” were an entirely new field, and she loved hearing about things like it.
Take this one, for example, schizophrenia. There were hallucinations and delusions, monotoned speech, executive dysfunction, problems with attention and memory, paranoia, all sorts of things that could be symptoms of other things as well, like severe clinical depression and attention deficit disorder. That was incredibly interesting to Sunset, but she noticed that Twilight didn't seem to care as much.
Twilight wasn't one for ‘soft science’. She believed in ‘empirical evidence over unprovable theory after theory after theory’. That probably explained why she went after researching magic the way that she did before they had ever met. Still, Sunset couldn't change Twilight’s opinions and beliefs, merely disagree with them. Which was fine! That was the beauty of fluid academic fields. Magic, however, that was different...
Sunset tried not to think about how she behaved back in Equestria. She knew she’d have to go back one day, and fix her mistakes. But for now, she’d continue learning about the magic of friendship under guidance of Twilight. The, uh. The other one. The pony. Yeah, that was still confusing.
Sunset continued to read. Indifference in intense situations, worsening academic performance, change in appearance and personality, social isolation, insomnia, an obsession with the occult, and irrational behaviors of anger and fear directed towards loved ones. Fascinating.
“Very good, Sunset,” the teacher finally said after she had plowed through nearly the full section. “But perhaps let's let another student have a turn?”
“Uh... sure,” she nervously giggled. “Sorry.”
“It's nothing to apologize about,” he replied. “But be careful or you'll end up surpassing Twilight.”
“I doubt that, sir,” Sunset joked, causing a few of the other students laughed. She glanced at Twilight but she was gazing out the window, absentmindedly doodling what seemed to be... wait, was that Midni-
“That reminds me, Miss Sparkle,” the teacher said, interrupting Sunset’s thought. I’d like to speak to you after class.”
Twilight shrugged in response.
“I'll... take that as a yes then. Would you like to continue where we left off?”
She sighed. “Not particularly...” she muttered just loudly enough for Sunset to overhear. “Sure. Where was that again?”
Sunset bit her lip. Twilight seemed upset about something... she’d have to talk to her after class on the way to lunch.
The rest of the class passed fairly uneventfully. They read through the chapter, then did some fill in the blank worksheet that was apparently supposed to teach them something. Sunset plowed through it in record time but noticed that Twilight had completely ignored it, and was instead scrolling through her phone.
“Hey, Twi-”
“Please put your electronic devices away!” The teacher mutedly exclaimed. “You can use them on your time, not on my time.”
Twilight sighed again and dropped it into her purse before she set her forehead down on the desk and wrapped her arms around it. Although she placed them in a weird position, where instead of crossing her wrists it was further up her arm. It looked painful.
“Twilight,” Sunset said again.
“Hm?”
“Are you feeling all right?”
Shrug.
“Are you sick?”
“...cramps.”
Oh. That explained the somewhat uncharacteristic outfit.
“I hate when that happens,” Sunset sympathized. “But at least class is almost over. And, worst comes to worst, we could just postpone the party again, Pinkie would understand.”
“I'll be fine.” She quickly responded. “I'm just... not feeling it right now.”
Sunset placed a comforting hand on Twilight’s back, but she shirked away from the contact and sat straight up, with that same look of panic and fear. It passed in a moment again, and she turned to face Sunset.
“Sorry,” she murmured. “I... I’m a little emotional from yesterday. Rarity and I talked about some stuff that I needed to talk about. It's nothing to do with you, I just...”
Sunset nodded. “I get it. Just tell me what I can do when I can do it and I'll help you, okay?”
“...okay.”
“Miss Sparkle,” the teacher intoned. “Since you have enough time to chat now, do you mind too terribly having that conversation with me now?”
She shrugged, pulled herself up by her elbows, and strode up. Sunset tried not to eavesdrop but she couldn't help but hear, senses sharpened by the remnants of magic in her blood. She reminded herself to buy some earplugs before the next band practice because that was almost painful.
Apparently Twilight’s grades were slipping slightly. She was still making As, but they were 94s and 95s rather than 100s. He was concerned for her. She indicated that there was a personal issue going on, and he returned that as long as she was taking care of herself it would be okay.
Sunset remembered a while back, when the girls had all shared their grades at a party. Twilight went first, and had nearly broken down crying because she had a B+. She bit her lip again. Hopefully she was doing okay. Twilight had been acting really weird for a few weeks now, and slightly weird for a few months.
Sunset glanced at the still open notebook on Twilight’s desk. Yeah, that was most certainly Midnight Sparkle. Which was strange: Midnight had been gone since Camp Everfree. Was Twilight having an episode of dwelling on what she had perceived as mistakes of the past? If that was it, then it would at least be a little easier to start with since Sunset herself had needed a little help at first too.
Twilight sat back down. Her face was impassively neutral. It was either guilt, or whatever it was that she talked to Rarity about.
Sunset slipped her phone out and was going to ask Rarity about it.
“No devices!”
...at lunch.
/x/x/x/
Author's Note
Heyyy guys. Sorry the update took so long. The holidays were just THBBBPT and I was distracted by some plot bunnies but now I'm back in the swing of things and am ready to get back into this fic. I gotta say it has wandered a bit from what I originally intended but hot damn if I don't know exactly what I'm gonna do with the rest of it. I think I know what tone I want from here on, and how to handle the plot arcs. So hold onto your hats, fellas.
