Anon could only look at Celestia in confusion as she finished explaining her plan to him with a soft smile on her face, acting as if what she had just told him was a normal everyday thing. "So, what do you think?" She asked with hopeful eyes.

Anon blinked and took a moment to collect his thoughts. "So...your plan is to bring different versions of me here, so that we can all do Twilight and company's job while you sort this strike out?" He asked with a tone filled with confusion.

"That is exactly what I plan to do, and is exactly what I just told you thirty seconds ago." Celestia answered with a smile.

Anon took a sip of his tea and placed his hands together before looking Celestia in the eye. "Ok, two questions. Why did you think this was a good idea and what would I even get out of this? I'm not exactly the type of person to go out of my way to help others for no reason, much less random strangers half way across the damn country."

Celestia just smiled knowingly and pulled out a scroll, sliding it over to the confused human. "This should answer the second question."

Raising a brow, Anon lifted the scroll and carefully read what was written, his eyes widening as he read further through the parchment. Rolling the scroll up again after finishing it, Anon set it to the side and looked to the alicorn in surprise. "You...you can seriously do that?"

"You have my word." Celestia replied with a soft smile while setting down her cup. "Now, about your first question. You may not be the most selfless person in the world, but you still have qualities that make you, and your counterparts, perfect for the job."

"What qualities exactly? The only things I can think of are sarcasm and sexual frustration."

Celestia rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I wouldn't call one of those a quality, rather an...unfortunate case for any females around you."

"Which? The sarcasm or the sexual frustration?"

"Knowing you it might very well be both."

"I'll have you know that many women on my planet found my sarcasm charming."

Celestia rolled her eyes and cleared her throat before continuing, and placing a magic seal on Anon's mouth so he couldn't interrupt her with his sass. "As I was saying, you have many qualities that you seem to not like to show or even acknowledge...at least I'm pretty sure."

Anon just gave Celestia as disappointed stare while slowly shaking his head.

"What is that look for?"

Anon raised his brow with an unimpressed look on his face.

"What?"

The condescending brow goes higher.

"Ok fine I haven't thought this all through, I'm banking on luck here." The incompetent sun goddess admitted while undoing the seal on the human's lips.

"Could have just said you were winging it, it's what you've been doing for years from what Discord has told me."

Celestia rubbed her temples while taking in a breath. "I'm just going to be direct here, can you please help me with this until I can either get Twilight and her friends back or find more suitable replacements?"

"If I say no Smirky is just gonna keep hitting me with the stick isn't he?"

"If he feels like it, which he most likely does, he might even try to spank you with it." Celestia answered while concealing a small blush.

Anon sighed and gave a slow nod. "Alright Tia, I'll help you out, as your friend and because of what I'm gonna get out of it."

Celestia smiled softly and placed her hoof on Anon's hand. "Thank you Anon, I know this is a lot to ask of you."

"Meh, it'll be interesting to say the least, will be fun and/or terrifying to see what my other selves look like." Anon muttered as he let his imagination run wild.

With a flash of her horn, the table was cleared and they were teleported back to the throne room where Smirky Sheild was currently laughing his ass off over Clear Sky's reaction to something he had said. Clear was currently covering his ears with his hooves while yelling "Too much information!" over and over again.

"What's going on here?" Celestia asked as she and Anon approached the pair of guards with curious expressions.

Smirky managed to cease his laughter for a moment as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "I was, I was just giving the Sergeant here a very in depth description of a certain activity that I and a certain political figure enjoyed together last night." He managed to speak out before bursting out in violent laughter after seeing the blush on Celestia's face.

"So many mental images....so many things I can never unknow...." Clear whimpered as he curled up on the floor.

Celestia shook herself and glared at Smirky. "Well, maybe you'd like to clean the stallion's lavatories with a toothbrush for the next three weeks."

Smirky immediately silenced himself and stood straight with a salute. "I'm sorry your highness, I got carried away."

"You're not getting out of this with just an apology, it's either clean the bathrooms with the toothbrush, or do that certain 'activity' with my sister." Celestia replied with a cheeky grin.

Both guards gasped and clutched in between their back legs protectively. "You can't make me do that! No stallion has ever came out of making love with Princess Luna with their pelvises intact! I'm taking the damn cleaning duty!" Smirky almost screamed before Celestia summoned a tooth brush with her magic, which Smirky snatched out of the air and bolted out of the room at such a high speed it would probably make Rainbow Dash feel tingly feelings down below.

Anon chuckled at the scene that had just played before him while patting Celestia on the back. "Start with a classic punishment then work up to an extreme, nicely done."

"I got inspired by some of those military movies you showed Luna and I in your dreams, I'm pretty sure a lot of the high ranking officers are finding good uses for those rather humorous punishments." Celestia giggled as she turned to Clear Sky who was still clutching his crotch protectively. "At ease Sergeant, I wasn't being serious, and you wouldn't have received the punishment anyway since you haven't done anything wrong."

"I know Princess it's just....not pleasant to think about...." Clear muttered as he let go of his jewels and shook the thoughts from his head.

"Is sex with Luna really that intense?" Anon asked with a chuckle.

Celestia giggled and nodded. "My sister can be very...enthusiastic when it comes to mating and loses control."

"Note to self, never fuck moon horse." Anon muttered in response, not wishing for his family jewels to be crushed under mighty moon princess pussy, no matter how sexy her ass looked.

...

'One of these other versions of me better be a fuckin woman because I am starting to loose my mind...'

"Well, shall we get started?" Celestia asked excitedly while walking towards the various machines the mages had set up for her. "I'm excited to see into other worlds, and to see if any of the other versions of you are nicer company." She finished with a laugh while Anon flipped her the double bird.

"If there's one thing that's gonna be consistent between us, it's gonna be the constant back talking, so don't get your hopes up Tia."

"That may the case, it may not, why don't we find out for sure? Are you ready to begin?" With a giddy laugh, Celestia set her huge white globes on the floor in the middle of all that machines, patting the spot beside her with a hoof expectantly.

Shrugging, Anon walked to Celestia's side and looked to the machines, not bothering to ask how they work because he knew it would be a bunch of magic and science bullshit that he wouldn't understand or care about, instead, he asked another question. "Da fuck do these do then?" He asked with his usual elegance.

"To put it simply, they open portals to other worlds, kind of like the mirror machine Twilight has in her castle."

"Wait she has a portal machine in the castle? Where does it go?" Anon asked with slight interest, although he'd rather not know about most things that involved Purplesmart and her merry band of personality disorders.

"As far as I know, a world filled with humanised versions of all of us." Anon was about to reply with surprise and possible anger at not being told about this, but Celestia shut him up with a raise of her hoof. "Now before you say anything, Twilight already told me what the humans there were like. Extremely skinny, large heads and eyes, ungodly amounts of hair and huge legs. I already gathered from your many rants about your 'anime' that you don't particularly like females with unnatural proportions, so we didn't let you know until now."

Anon rolled the thought around in his head and then rolled his eyes. "Yeah...doesn't sound like my shot of whiskey, would have been nice to know that there was access to a somewhat human world though."

"Well, we also don't know if it would turn you into a pony if you went through or not." Sunnybuns added with a chuckle.

"Yeah I'd rather avoid that kinda risk, even if I did get a horse sized dong."

Rolling her eyes, Celestia focused her magic on the machines. After a few seconds multiple gears and pistons started to move on the various mirror portals and the glass on each began to glow softly. On one of the mirrors, an image started to appear. "Alright, lets have a look and decide wherever we should have them join or not."

The two stood in front of the mirror and watched as the image became clearer, revealing a man who looked similar to Anon, except with a scar on his left eye and dressed in a large black coat and cap. "Well...he looks like he's fun at parties."

"Apparently, from what I can tell, this is a version of you that is a lot more...depressingly poetic."

"Edgy me, got it. Eh, he honestly doesn't seem so bad, put him on the maybe I guess." Anon spoke with monotone as he watched this other version of him talk to himself with some kind of emo monologue as he walked through a rainy street. "A slight maybe."

Celestia nodded and jotted it down on a small clipboard she summoned with her magic. "Alright, lets see what's next."

With that another mirror lit up and displayed an image. This time it showed an Anon dancing through a field of flowers in a tutu while singing a cheesy song about friendship and flowers. "No, hell no."

"He seems nice though."

"If you bring him into this world I'm gonna strangle him, bring Edgy me here and then have him strange him. We're skipping Faggot me." Anon retorted with a stern tone. "My entire shtick is not being happy."

"Alright then picky, we'll skip him." With a flash of her horn, the image faded and another took its place, this time showing an Anon wearing a military uniform taking cover from gunfire. "Well he seems like he could be useful."

"Yeah, Soldier me, he seems good, bring 'im through."

As Celestia was about to cast her spell, a bullet went straight through Soldier Anon's head and he fell to the ground.

Anon and Celestia looked wide eyed as the image faded.

"I...um...." Celestia muttered.

"I...didn't expect to see myself die today..." Anon gasped out.

"Do you um...think we should take a break?" Celestia asked in a concerned voice.

"Yeah...yeah...I think we should..."

Clear Sky slowly walked up to them and pulled out a bag of a mossy green substance. "I think this will help."

"Wait...where did you get weed?" Anon asked as he took the bag from the tiny guard pony.

"I take a few leaves from your garden every once in awhile to help deal with Smirky's stupid antics."

"Well little pony, Princess Sunass, let's get stoned."

Author's Note

So it begins, next chapter we shall see what different types of Anons they pulled through while high off their fictional asses.

Also a mystery as to what Celestia bribed Anon with, see if ya can figure it out~

Now piss off I got shit to do.