Clear Sky watched the group of Anon’s from across the dinning hall, slowly eating away at his hay bacon and eggs, analyzing each of them from afar. “This is bizarre, even by Equestrian standards.” He muttered to himself. “We don’t even know how one alien got here, then we manage to bring five others like him here with just some math and objects that are for some reason magical. Anon is right, this world works in weird ways.”

Before he could try to think of another snarky comment created by being influenced by Anon's way of thinking, a waitress burst into the room with a panicked expression, screaming the same line over and over again. "Get the coffee ready! Princess Luna is handling the day shift again!"

As soon as he heard those words, Clear immediately moved himself and his food to the far end of the hall as to not fall into the sights of a tired moon goddess that hadn't had any coffee after only having, at best, a short nap in the past 24 hours. The best he could do was stay out of his ruler’s way and send a basket of flowers to the family of whoever was unlucky enough to fall in her sights, he hadn’t forgotten what Luna had done during the so-called “Pancake Incident.”

“Those poor butterflies, they never saw it coming.” A shiver ran down Clear’s spine as images of the event flashed in his mind. “Those tourists are still in therapy.”

Soon enough, Clear, the Anons and all the other ponies in the dining hall began to feel the ground shake slightly, loud stomping echoed through the corridors and halls, a sense of dread falling over those with weak wills as the unholy presence approached them. After the stomping grew louder and the shaking became more violent, there was a brief moment of silence before the doors to the dining hall were kicked down, revealing the creature that would cause any eldritch horror to cower in fear for their genitals, even if they didn’t have any.

Princess Luna slowly trudged into the dinning hall with a look of death on her face, her eyes half lidded and bloodshot, her mane now only a tattered mess and her teeth clenched in anger. A maid dashed in and set a large cup of black coffee and a bowl of oats at the larger dining table in the centre of the room and then bolted so fast Rainbow Dash would be impressed. Luna growled like a lion as she approached the drink that was a godsend to many working women in their 30s, warning all to stay out of her way less they suffer her wrath. All ponies in the hall were either shaking with fear or forcing themselves from looking in the Night Princess’s direction to avoid potentially making eye contact with the beast, save for Clear and other high ranking guards who had dealt with this same situation many times before.

“What’s with her?” Anonfilly asked while she watched Luna sit down slowly.

Anon looked over and smirked. “Oh, that’s Princess Luna, she’s just a bit sleep deprived, when she’s like this the guards and staff shit themselves, it’s hilarious. Just stay out of her way and you’ll be fine.”

“What is so terrifying about a sleep deprived princess?” Annie asked while sipping her tea, cringing slightly and smiling as Knight offered her a bowl of sugar cubes to give the tea a better taste. “Thanks Knighty.”

“You are welcome Lady Annie.” Knight replied with his cheery voice before he turned his attention to Luna. “Now, if I were to guess, she is a being of immense power. Being around a powerful entity such as she in such an unhinged state would trigger the survival instincts in any equine.”

“Either that or her brooding presence make sure people uncomfortable....” Edgy added while he played with his switchblade.

Filly turned around and stared at Edgy with a raised eyebrow. “Was that some kind of attempt at self deprecating humour?”

“What do you mean?”

“....you’re trying to mess with me aren’t you?”

“You’ll never know for sure...”

“Oh I’m gonna hate you I’m sure of it.”

“I hate myself, get in line...”

Anon snapped his fingers to earn their attention. “Hey, can we put the hate boners away please? I was trying to explain what we’re all going to be doing before Empress Hot Topic over there barged in.” He complained before ducking to avoid a cup being thrown at him by the disgruntled moon horse.

“DO NOT INSULT ME WHILST I AM THIS TIRED ANONYMOUS THE HUMAN, I CAN END YOU WITH A THOUGHT!!!”

“Love you too Moony.”

“And you told us to put our hate boners away.” Filly teased with a smirk.

“There’s a difference between a hate boner and unresolved sexual tension, not the point, can we get back on track please?”

Horny perked up. “What’s this about sexual tension?”

“Knight, slap him for me please.”

*Smack* “Ow!”

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure fellow Anonymous!” Knight said with a smile under his helmet. “And on the topic of getting back on track, I believe we all understand the basic idea of what we are supposed to do and I don’t believe the constant, humorous banter is going to allow us to move forward with the conversation anyway.”

“Yeah we don’t seem like a group that would just let a serious topic play out without some kind of interruption.” Annie added while she sipped her tea again. “Knighty is right though, we get the jist of it.”

“Yeah, there’s no reason to keep repeating the story.” Filly finished with an annoyed tone.

“Instead of tat boring dribble, how about we discuss living arrangements?” Horny began in a seemingly normal tone, before immediately going back to his creepy voice and smile. “I suggest a six bed dorm room with unisex bathrooms~”

“Oh hell to the fuck no.” Annie and Filly muttered in unison while the scooted further away from Horny.

“Keep talking like that around the girls and we castrate you with Knight’s sword...” Edgy warned in a low voice.

“I’d rather not use my father’s blade for such a terrible act, even if he makes Lady Annie and Miss Filly uncomfortable.” Knight replied in slight disgust.

“How about just punching him in the crotch with your gauntlet?” Anon suggested.

“I’d rather not have my hands anywhere near that cursed thing, how about I break his kneecaps instead?”

“That works too. Anyway, I’m guessing Celestia or one of the personal guards have some kind of plan for that, but in case they don’t I guess you’ll be crashing at my place, some hotel or just be staying here for awhile, won’t really know until we see Tia again.”

Suddenly, Anon and Filly’s chairs were coated in a dark blue aura and spread further apart from each other. Princess Luna walked to the now empty space between the two and chugged down the rest of her coffee before she poofed the mug out of existence. “Ahem...I overheard you talking about living arrangements, and I can confirm that my sister has planned ahead and found a way to accommodate you all.” She began tiredly before she set a scroll down in front of Anon who then unrolled it and began to read it’s contents. “This is an enchanted scroll that will transform your home, there will be no major changes other than an increase in size and the number of rooms.”

“Magic is just forever a force of plot convenience in this place...alright, that’s that sorted anyway, thanks Moony.” Anon replies with a smirk as he pet Luna on the head jokingly.

“How many times must I tell you to address me as Luna or Princess?”

“Yeah I refuse to do that for as long as it keeps irritating you.”

“I can have you thrown into the dungeon just for disrespecting me.”

“I’d be out as soon as Tia got word from Smirky or Clear, or are you just into dungeon play?”

“He wasn’t kidding about the sexual tension.” Annie whispered to Knight who just watched the two in confusion.

“I have never seen a man such as him bicker with a member of royalty in such a manner before, the only explanations I can think of are he is either a jester or has been punished for it so many times that he’s become numb to the consequences.” The armoured Anon muttered to himself while scratching his head. “This world is very strange indeed.”

As the human and alicorn continued their pointless back and forth, Clear spotted Smirky limping into the dinning hall and got to his hooves to meet his partner. “Took you long enough, you’ve pretty much missed the entire show.” He greeted with a smirk as he gestured to the table of morons.

“Aw man....I’ve even missed most of Anon and Princess Luna’s lovers spat.” Smirky sighed with his ears flat against his head in disappointment. “It was gonna be the highlight of today.”

“Oh yeah, Celestia wanted me to remind you that you still have to scrub the washrooms with your own toothbrush, and that you can’t buy a new one for at least a week.” Clear added with a huge grin on his face.

“....you’re enjoying this aren’t you?”

“Oh definitely, this has been a long time comin’ pal.” Clear laughed as he pat his friend on the back. “By the way, there’s something that we need to discuss, it’s kind of important.”

“Look if you’re gonna come out as gay to me I could already te-“ That little quip earned Smirky a bop on the head. “Ow careful I still have a bruise there!”

“Look, while Celestia and Anon where high off their asses yesterday, I saw Celestia write a letter and send it to that purple dragon Princess Twilight hangs around with.”

“So?”

“So, while high off her gigantic flank, I’m pretty sure Celestia absentmindedly sent Princess Twilight a letter about her plan.”

“Ohhh, ok, now I’m catching on. You’re worried that it’s gonna cause trouble for the Anons.”

“Exactly. I just need you to come with me to Ponyville and check what was in that letter, if it’s nothing then we just get back here and you can get to scrubbing urinals all day, but if it contains info on the situation we need to keep the Elements Bearers away from the Anons until they get settled in.”

Smirky nodded and looked over to the table of Anons, where Anon was scratching Luna’s ears to calm her down, and Knight was trying the same thing on Filly with Horny and Annie laughing at the sight of the little tsundere pony reduces to a puppy-like state. “Well it puts off my punishment anyway, just let me stop by my home and let my wife know that I’ll probably be home late.”

“Oh yeah, how’d she react when you told her you bedded Celestia?”

“She laughed and then bragged about bedding Blueblood at some point.”

“You two were made for each other...”

“Probably, I mean my dick fits her like a gl-“

“Ok shut up I don’t need to hear it.”

Meanwhile in Ponyville

Twilight’s eye twitched as she read the scroll that had arrived for her the previous night, Spike sitting beside her waiting to either send a response letter or to fetch something to calm his surrogate mother/sister down if she had one of her freak outs.

“This is her plan?! Have a bunch of morons run around doing our job instead of negotiating with us?!”

“Um...she did say it was temporary, just until she sorted things out with all of you.” Spike pointed out with a nervous chuckle.

“I know that Spike, but she could have just used all that time and effort bringing the other Anon’s here to work out some kind of negotiation plan or something more practical! This is just stupid even for her!”

“Says the Princess of Friendship who has gone on strike for having to deal with friendship problems.”

“You’ve been hanging around Anon too much.”

“Everypony has apparently. Anyway, what are you gonna do?” Spike asked with both curiosity and nervousness, worried that she would do something rash.

“I’m going to confront Anon when he gets back and give him a piece of my mind.” Twilight answered with determination and a proud smile on her face.

Meanwhile, Starlight and Trixie stood outside of the room, listening in through the door.

“This should be fun.” Trixie giggles while looking to her totally platonic friend.

“I’ll get the popcorn ready.” Starlight almost sang out as they both hurried off to prepare for the eventual entertaining shit show.

Author's Note

We all know Starlight and Trixie are totally platonic right?