Bloody Pit of Harmony

“Hey yawl, what we gonna do today? Nopony I can think of needs a hoof with anything cutie mark related,” said Apple Bloom to her friends Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

“I don’t know,” said Sweetie Belle. “I really want to write more songs, but I can’t think of anything right now. The clubhouse is always a good place to think.” They were making their way towards the clubhouse, when they all noticed a huge and flaming object falling from the sky. In the blink of an eye, a huge explosion was heard and seen in the direction of the clubhouse. Wind and heat blew on the cutie mark crusader’s faces while they stood awestruck as to what it was.

“We gotta go check this out,” said Scootaloo, excited of the potential adventure. They all trotted towards the smoke clearing out.

To their horror, the entire clubhouse was destroyed. Some futuristic, large, grey, metallic monstrosity lay in ruins over the carcass of their beloved clubhouse. As the smoke cleared, giant monsters emerged from the smoke, but the ponies would not flee in fear. They were all bipedal creatures, the largest had spikes on its shoulders and its head was just a giant, metal, serrated jaw like feature with horns coming out. Another creature covered in metal armor, donning a spiked Mohawk helmet, and wearing face paint emerged from the ruins and approached them. It made no difference if the ponies would or would not flee in terror, for the fear had frozen them solid.

“Our bad. Sorry about that. We owe you guys one,” it said, and then started walking away.

“Beefcake, they’re tiny ponies. I don’t think they can understand you,” said another monster; this one blue with ferocious claws and wearing the skeleton and skull of some kind of reptilian wolf on its hideous body.

“W-w-we understand you,” stuttered out Sweetie Belle, very timidly.

“Ha ha, you hear that Jizmak? Suck it,” said the face painted monster wearing spike armor.

“Yeah, we understand you,” said Sootaloo, finding some moxie deep inside her. “And understand this; you guys are fixing our clubhouse.”

“Of course,” said a huge green monster wearing a horned Viking helmet. “We may be genocidal alien’s hell bent on the annihilation of every race, but we would never destroy someone’s clubhouse and not repair it like that. We’re not total dicks.”

“Oh, okay,” said Scootaloo.

“Oh, are you shitting me; Pustulus snorted all the space coke,” yelled the monster named Jizmak, kicking the unconscious body of a blue monster.

“Damnit, that was the last of out drugs,” said the monster named Beefcake. “I can’t go a whole ‘nother day sober. I just can’t.”

“Hey Bonesnapper, why don’t you stay behind with Pustulus and repair the clubhouse while the rest of us find out what kind of planet we’re on, take all of its drugs, and destroy it,” said the big green monster.

“Why do I gotta do it, Blothar?” asked Bonesnapper, another big green monster, but with a huge, deformed head.

“Because you’re just security, and I don’t think we’ll need any of that if most of the planet is tiny talking ponies. Besides, WE OWN YOU!” said the monster named Blothar.

“It’s not so bad, you’ll have Putulus with you,” joked Jizmak.

“Yeah, when he waked up,” said Bonesnapper.

“If he wakes up,” laughed Beefcake.

As the monsters walked away, Apple Bloom was reminded of two other monster that were sometimes hanging around Zecora’s hut; but they couldn’t have any relation.