Bloody Pit of Harmony

It was going to be another long day for Big Mac. There were all sorts of daily farm work to attend to. With Applejack away on friendship missions so much, Big Mac was thinking that he needed to hire some farm hoofs to help out. He was hard at work bucking apples, but he wasn’t working hard enough to hallucinate the four bipedal horrifying monsters entering the farm lands.

Big Mac turned their direction as they approached him, but did not know what to say. Before he knew it, the four monsters were standing right in front of him. His head only went up to their wastes.

“Hi,” said a monster with face paint, steel armor, and a spiked helmet.

Before he could reply, a monster wearing the hide and bones of some weird reptilian wolf yelled, “prepare to die; red horse.”

“Jizmak, you gotta chill the fuck out. We ain’t gonna slay no one until we get high and get laid,” said the face painted monster.

“Oh fine Beefcake,” said the monster named Jizmak. “We’re we gonna get some drugs around here. And some female ponies, I ain’t gonna be totally gay.” He leaned in a little closer, “Watch out for Balsac though; he don’t care what gender you are.” Jizmak pointed towards a huge monster with serrated steel jaws.

“Ain’t nothin’ but apples on Sweet Apple Acres,” said Big Mac, standing his ground.

“So we’d have to go further into town to find anything else,” asked Beefcake.

“Eeyup.”

“Hey, this looks like a lotta work to do by yourself. Why don’t I stay behind and help you with it,” said the monster named Balsac.

“Good thinking Balsac,” said a huge green monster wearing a horned helmet. “Let’s take all of these creatures’ resources before we destroy them.”

“Don’t drop the apple,” Jizmak said to Big Mac, making a fisting motion with his hands, as the three remaining atrocities headed towards Ponyville.