Bloody Pit of Harmony

Blothar the Berserker, Jizmak Da Gusha, and Beefcake the Mighty were making their way around Ponyville. Blothar had a weird feeling inside of him because this was the longest any of them had gone without slaying some innocent fools since being unfrozen in Antarctica by Sleazy P. Martini. They figured that they would explore Ponyville. It was always nice to get a look at a civilizations putrid culture before making them extinct. That always fueled their hatred.

They noticed a crowd was leaving from a wagon with a stage folded out of it. All the ponies disappointment was quickly hidden from the shock of seeing these huge, threatening looking, alien monsters approaching. Beefcake assured them that they are not going to do any killing today.

“What were you all here for?” Blothar asked a pony.

“To see some kind of magic show, but it was kind of lame. ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie,’ she calls herself,” answered the pony.

GWAR decided to go check out this Great and Powerful Trixie. Behind the wagon stage, they found two unicorns. One was purple with wavy blue, purple, and white hair. The other was azure, had wavy silver hair, and was wearing a ridiculous cape and pointy hat covered in stars.

“Which one of you dares call herself Great and Powerful in the presence of GWAR?” demanded Jizmak.

“Umm, she does,” said the azure unicorn with the hat and cape, pointing at the other pony. “So if you’re going to destroy anypony, it should be her.”

“No, I’m not. I’m Starlight and this is Trixie,” said the purple unicorn. “Who…or what exactly are you guys supposed to be?”

“We are GWAR. We have come to destroy all of you inferior lifeforms,” said Blothar.

“We also make barbeque sauces and stuff,” added Beefcake.

“I like these guys all of a sudden,” said Trixie.

“Well, you won’t be destroying anypony as soon as I tell Twilight,” said Starlight.

“No need,” said Jizmak. “The pitiful pony known as Twilight already knows of our arrival, and will be defeated tomorrow at Ghastly Gorge.”

“You guys better be really strong if you’re going to go up against Twilight and them,” said Starlight.

“GWAR has no doubt of their triumph,” said Blothar. “What exactly was going on here?”

“I was putting on a magic show, but the crowd did not like it very much,” said Trixie.

“How come I saw them walking away? Why didn’t you slaughter all of them afterwards?” asked Beefcake.

“Huh,” said Trixie.

“Back on other sides of the universe, GWAR would put on all kinds of crazy rock and roll shows. We were constantly mutilating the crowd, grinding up their bodies, and spraying the audience of the next show with their blood before killing them to. Dead people can’t dislike anything, and the screams of horror from the innocent victims were a good reaction. Any reaction is a good reaction,” said Blothar.

“Well, we can’t exactly get away with stuff like that here,” said Starlight.

“Don’t listen to her,” said Trixie. “I could do something like that. Why don’t I put on a show tomorrow and do something like that?”

“Sounds good, after we kill Twilight and them, we’ll help you with it,” said Jizmak. He started advancing on Starlight. “Let’s start by killing her.”

“NO,” yelled Trixie, getting in the way of Jizmak and his victim. “She’s my friend. Maybe we could just use fake blood or something.”

“That sounds very pussyrific,” said Blothar. “But if there is profit to be made, GWAR will do anything.”

They were about to get started on the stuff, when Starlight noticed Spike spying on them. “Oh hi Spike,” she said.

“Spike the dragon?” Blothar said. “Have you come to your senses and chosen to join GWAR?”

“Heck no,” said Spike. “I’m just making sure you guys don’t do anything violent before tomorrow. But I wouldn’t make any long term plans for Trixie’s show, because once Twilight defeats you, you guys won’t be around to do anything!”

“Let’s slay this guy to send a message,” said Jizmak.

“No Jizmak,” said Beefcake. “We can’t do anything tonight.”

“But I can’t remember the last time I went this long without killing. One of them dead can’t do any harm. No one will even notice,” complained Jizmak.

“No Jizmak,” said Blothar. “We will have all the slaughter we want once this place is conquered.”

Spike went back to the castle, and Blothar, Jizmak, Beefcake, Trixie, and Starlight got to work on props for tomorrow’s show.