Bloody Pit of Harmony

“Spike!” said Twilight. “How could you just leave them like that? They could have done all sorts of horrible things.”

Twilight Sparkle was furious that Spike had just bailed on spying on GWAR for her. “Starlight could have handled them by herself if they tried anything. Hay, even Trixie could hold her own against them!” said Rainbow Dash. Twilight could tell that there was no doubt in Dash’s mind of their victory over GWAR today. But, she was reminded of all of the foe’s that underestimated themselves and were defeated because of their own arrogance. She would take no chances, and was bringing the whole crew; herself, along with Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie to battle GWAR today. They began the journey to Ghastly Gorge.

***

She had cast a spell to repel the moray eels the night before so there was no chance of them being harmed or interfering during the fight. Upon entering Ghastly Gorge, GWAR was waiting for them. Blothar, in all his green, muti-penised fury, Jizmak Da Gusha, who would have gladly slaughtered all of Ponyville yesterday, Beefcake the Mighty, who had made the youth of Ponyville GWAR fans, Pustulus Maximus, Bonesnapper, and Balsac the Jaws of Death, who was getting very friendly with the Apple family, were all ready to slay. But the ponies were ready to slay also.

When both GWAR and the ponies were just starting to charge, a loud rumble was heard in the distance. Trees were falling as a giant creature was rushing its way towards the battle. Twilight was horrified to see the familiar black legs, muscular red body, and large horns of a foe she didn’t think she would have to contend with again.

“Prepare to meet you’re doom, ponies!” furiously yelled the dark Lord Tirek.

“Ah shoulda known you treacherous aliens would bring back up for this showdown,” said Applejack.

“Yeah,” said Rainbow Dash. “These losers probably worship Tirek like he’s their god or something.”

“Hell no,” shouted Blothar. “This pussy worships us!”

“Oh shit!” Tirek was shaking nervously. “That’s not GWAR, is it?”

“The one and only,” said Beefcake.

“I’ll just be on my way then. Just forget you guys ever saw me. I won’t cause any trouble, I promise. Please don’t kick my ass.” Tirek then tripped over himself while scurrying back to Tartarus like a little bitch.

The ponies were a little confused, but GWAR seemed ready to carry on the battle like nothing happened. Then, just as they all were seconds away from fighting, the sky went dark, and the air became thick. All the rocks in the gorge turned into a black, twisted mockery of nature. The very soil felt unnatural on Twlight’s hooves. She looked up towards the top of the canyon, and from the fog festering up there, emerged the vile form of King Sombra and a host of creatures more gruesome then GWAR.