A Real Shocker!

Chapter 0: The Convention.

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

Taking a bite out of the $5 burger I got at good old Maccy Deez nuts, I look around the Comic-Con at all of the people who put effort into wearing a costume, so far I see a couple video-game characters, anime characters, and of course comic book characters. I chose to wear my favorite costume of my all-time favorite character, Me, The man who couldn't waste all that much money on shit like that.

I work as a Sous Chef at a local bistro back home, sure I make a lot of money but all of that money is then spent on my apartment, bills, personal items and of course ~~porn~~... I mean food. I've never been the best at rationalizing the reason behind wearing costumes, I mean I get the point, but even as a kid I never saw the reason. Even on Halloween instead of buying a costume I just used the money I would have spent on the costume, to buy candy instead. I was one of those kids, But I'm going off track here.

As I look around the crowd I see a man wearing an RE4 merchant costume working behind a stand looking bored as all hell. Looking at the stand and then the merch that I've acquired so far (mainly One Piece merch), I think to myself (Eh, why the fuck not. I've got $100 and a dream; I'm getting paid to buy shit.) Walking over to the stand the Merchants eyes widen in surprise before he stands straight up and dusts himself off. "Welcome Traveller, Interested in my wares?" As he says this he sweeps his arms over the tables, showing many items such as a Needler from Halo, Loki's helmet from The Avengers, and... is that Roronoa Zoro's Haramaki or is it just a rag he uses to wipe shit down with?

Whatever, that ain't my problem. If this guy is who I think he is I'm sure my life just got far more interesting. "Hey, I'm about to ask something incredibly stupid, but if I'm right can you tell me the truth?" I question the merchant. Nodding, he motions for me to continue, "Are you the Interdimensional Merchant guy I read about in all of those fan-fics?" I ask with my right brow inquisitively raised.

Chuckling to himself he nods, "Sure am Stranger, but are you sure someone of your... type, should be buying something at this stand?" He asks probably trying to goad me.

Looking down at myself, I see that my usually white long-sleeved shirt has a mustard stain on the front of it. Licking my thumb I try to remove it with no luck. I'm about 5'9" with Dirty Blonde hair currently pulled into a ponytail with my bangs left hanging, tickling my slightly tanned forehead. Over the years I haven't been lazy, I weigh about 180lbs of muscle thanks to the Muay Thai class I've been taking for about 2 years now. "I may not be in a costume, but I assure you sir when I go to any stand, I intend to buy something."

Sighing, He waves his hand back over his wares one more time before informing me, "Well then just remember, All sales are final." with that he reclines back into a chair, probably ready to make a deal.

(What the hell should I buy anyways. I mean I only really read One Piece and I only really know of Equestria through FimFiction. If I was going to buy something that would displace me I'd want to be overpowered as fuck so I wouldn't die immediately, I mean seriously if all of the fanfics are correct then my ass will probably be sent to that Everfree Forest place they always write about. If I could take anything from that world I'd take a Logia Fruit, The ability to become untouchable would certainly help a bit. The Mera Mera no Mi? Nah I'd probably burn down the forest if I chose that one... How about that fruit Eneru had, what was it the Goro Goro no Mi? yeah that one would work, I mean that guy was OP as fuck with his Haki.)

Making a decision I open my mouth to speak and am immediately interrupted, "Yeah, I know, The Goro Goro no Mi. You should really learn to think without speaking, It might save your life one day." He chides me as if I was a child. He reaches underneath his table and pulls out a Bright Turquoise Lightning-bolt shaped banana and says "Just take it and go, I have a rule where if you know who I am you get an item for free as long as you buy something else with it."

Well shit, now I'm blushing. Embarrassingly I reach over and grab the banana, "Yeah, that's probably a good idea..." I concede. "Well, then I guess I'll buy Zoro's Haramaki too," I say as I pull out my wallet.

"$100" He deadpans, probably annoyed by my presence. Placing the money in his hand I grab the bandana and then everything goes white."Have fun there- Stranger..." was the last thing I heard.