Chapter 2: Moving In

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

I got bored of waiting around in that cave about 2 days of waiting into it so I melted the throne into a bunch of gold bars and took them to the bank in Ponyville, with all the jewels the bank gave me a rough estimate of about 10 Million bits, Making me about as rich as Filthy Rich.(Man I done burgled myself into fancy drinks and fine dining.)

Heading down to City Hall, I'm suddenly accosted by none other than our favorite resident Party Planner, Pinkie Pie. "Hey Arty, Whatcha doin' here in Ponyville?" She asks, bouncing alongside me as I walk.

"I got bored of living in a forest, so I decided to quit my job as Guardian of the Forest and just live here instead," Using my Gold Bo Staff as a walking stick.

"Oh, That's Great! I get to throw you a "Welcome to Ponyville Party"!" As she says this she jumps high into the air, Confetti firing out of her hair.

Not wanting to go insane thinking about how that's impossible, I just continue walking, Taking in the sights of the town as I start pimp-walking. "So how have you been Ponka Plops?" I ask, trying to keep the conversation rolling.

"I've been great! Work at the Sugarcube Corner keeps me busy, Oh have I told you about Sugarcube Corner yet? I don't think I have-" Zoning out as she rambles on I see a familiar face in the crowd of ponies. Applejack and her sister are running their food stand further down the road. Waving at her, I try to get her attention... She isn't noticing me so I decide to do something drastic. Phasing into the ground I leave Pinkie behind as she rambles on about a Cart being on fire or something, I come out of the ground a few feet away from the stand and start walking towards it.

"Well Howdy there Arthur, I'm surprised to see ya so far from the forest, with you bein' the guardian of the place and all. What brings ya down here?" She inquires. Her sister seems scared at the fact that a grown man just came out of the ground.

"I quit my old job as guardian because it was too boring, I've decided to move here instead. I figure the forest is always in a state of disarray anyway, so there's not really much I can do to fix/stop it. I found some money while living there and I'm heading down to City Hall right now to buy a place to live. I'll probably be stopping by this stand every day, so get used to seeing my ugly mug around here." I state with a grin

"Ah shoot Arthur, you're hardly what I'd call ugly but hey, you're always welcome here!" She smiles and asks, "See anythin' you'd like to take with ya?"

Taking a flirty tone of voice I reply with, "Well, You... But I'm sure that's off the menu. Otherwise, I'll probably just take a Red Delicious apple." Deadpanning she takes one out and tosses it to me, I throw her 10 bits and start walking away when I hear someone call out my name from behind me.

"Hey Arthur, Ya over-payed by a few bits!" AJ calls out.

"Keep them, Use them for your farm!" I shout back.

Ignoring whatever she says next, I continue on my way until I get to City Hall. (Man, this is a big-ass fucking building, seriously it's gotta be at least 10 stories tall. For such a small town why does it need such a large City Hall, Like seriously who needs these many floors for- You know what I'm not gonna ask...) Heading to the front desk I ask the secretary about property nearby that I could purchase, at this she rolls her eyes and points me towards the 3rd floor. (Oh, that's why you need so many floors.) Instead of climbing up the stairs like someone normal would, I just phase up there, spooking the hell out of a nearby person waiting in line. Oh, Jesus, there's a line, Sighing I take my place in line and start waiting.

(Time-Skip One Hour)

Finally making my way up to the front desk the woman sitting behind the desk asks, "Are you here about Property Damage?"

"Property Damage? I thought this was the line to ask about buying property?"

Sighing, she points me towards a nearby door. "That's where you buy property sir, now if you'd please get out of the way, I have other people I need to help."

(I WASN'T EVEN IN THE RIGHT FUCKING PLACE!!!!) Unconsciously channeling electricity into my Bo Staff, I light the carpet beneath it on fire, prompting me to snap out of my stupidity induced rage to stop it out.

Making my way into the room I find that it's your standard law office, and by that, I mean boring as hell with nothing of any real notice. At the desk I see a man with brown hair slicked back into a pompadour hairstyle, wearing a black suit and red tie combo. "May I help you sir?" he asks

(mAy i hELp yOu SiR!) Officially done with his shit, I recognize him as Filthy Rich. I guess the guy has to have some sort of day job beyond just being rich and spending time with his money. "I just spent the last hour of my life in the wrong line, just give me a list of houses and I'll pick one. I'll be buying outright with money I have on me right now." Surprised by my forwardness, he does just that and I'm out of there in an hour, having bought a small one room, one bathroom house with a large kitchen.

Heading to nearby furniture shops I buy everything I need and then for the next few hours I buy food and ingredients, taking all of the food and shit with me I put them on the shelves and in the fridge. Waiting for the Furniture Delivery men/women; let us not be sexist here, it's 2017 back home; I show them where I'd like all of my shit and then tip them graciously, as I was kind of a stickler.

Now... for the moment I've been putting off for some time... I've gotta go buy clothes and the best person to go to for this shit is Rarity. I didn't want to go see her as I know our personalities are almost polar opposites. I'm a dank old meme-boi who loves getting dirty. She's a prim and proper woman with high-class tastes. Heading to a nearby liquor store I buy a bottle of whiskey and make my way there, prepared to drink till I drop.

Reaching Carousel Boutique, I knock on the door hesitantly, Knowing I'll probably regret this. "It's open!" I hear someone shout from inside. Making my way inside, I find nose is immediately assaulted by the smell of perfume. (Oh my god it's in my mouth... It's not that bad actually, it tastes the way Lilac smells... Man I'm kind of stupid aren't I?) I'm torn from my thoughts by Rarity coming into the room. "Ah! Hello Arthur, I wasn't expecting one such as yourself to come here, let alone willingly." Oh, she is just a card isn't she. "What is it you need help with?"

Taking a deep breath, I reply slowly, cringing my face as I say, "I need some clothes and you're the best person I could think of that could help me..." As I finish, I look over at Rarity, her mouth is agape and she looks like god himself just gave her a golden club sandwich or something. Inhaling sharply she makes a loud *Squeee!* sound and pulls me into the back room. (This is where I'm gonna die isn't it? All this power and I'm done in by a seamstress. I give all of my known possessions to spike. Let the man get all of my money, grow into a giant dragon, and let him ravage the country-side in my honor.)

(Time-Skip 2 Hours)

It actually wasn't that bad, to be honest. She mainly talked about town gossip and asked what I was doing in Ponyville, After I told her what I was doing she seemed kind of happy for some reason. After she ogled my muscles, she set off making a couple of shirts, pants, and a new pair of shoes. With a little bribery, I also convinced her to make me a Steven Universe Star Hoodie. (I'll wear this till I die. None of the shirts I bought will ever see the light of day as long as I have this.) Making my way back home, I throw open the front door and almost set off a "Sango." in surprise as I'm shot by a round from Pinkie's Party Cannon. "Surprise!!!!!" I hear a room full of people yell. Looking around I see the Mane 6; Rarity somehow managing to beat me to my own home; a couple of strangers, and the Cake family, all crowded into my small home. On a nearby table, I see a cake with expertly written frosting saying, "Welcome to Ponyville Arthur!" on it.

"Who told you about my house?" I ask Pinkie.

"Were you surprised? I'm sure you were!" She replies.

"Who the hell told you where I lived?" I repeat.

"Oh, silly Arty! I broke into Filthy Rich's office and looked at his ledger to find your address!" She says, finally telling me the truth.

(.... This is where I'm gonna die isn't it?) Officially creeped out, but oddly flattered, I open the bottle of whiskey I bought earlier and chug it, knowing Zoro's resistance to alcohol will probably make sure it does nothing to me. I walk over to the table and grab some cake, starting the official party off with a bang. I'm sure my days in Ponyville will be far more eventful in the coming months, More so than that boring ass forest I know that for sure.

Author's Note

I'm kind of just making this story up as I go along, as I didn't really expect anyone to read it, let alone like it. If any of you have any tips or tricks please feel free to share, as this is my first fanfiction. Every chapter is subject to change and might be deleted if I think I can come up with something better. My first idea for a fan-fic was someone who was displaced as All Might where he would return back to normal when the 3-hour time limit ran out. The steven universe hoodie thing is because I actually have one that I'm wearing right now, much like the main character, when I have a hoodie I'll wear the damn thing even in Colorado's blistering summer where its 102 degrees outside.