Scrambled Egghead

“Are you sure about this?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Because this sounds fucking crazy to me.”

“It was your idea,” noted Twilight. She paid her girlfriend little attention as she continued chalking her spellcasting circles into the floor. She had been waiting for this for weeks. It took a lot of planning and making excuses, but she had finally gotten Spike and Starlight out of the castle. But, through several hint drops, she managed to convince Spike to go to the Crystal Empire for a few weeks to visit Cadance and Shining. It was easier for Twilight to convince Starlight to follow him, with the unicorn practically volunteering to look after him in the Empire. Twilight suspected her desire to accompany Spike had something to do with The Crystaller, but she didn’t pursue that lead. Considering the reason she sent them away, Twilight would be a bit of a hypocrite if she judged Starlight for wanting to see Sunburst.

“That was when I thought it was impossible,” said Rainbow. Even though she claimed to be concerned, her cock definitely wasn’t. It was rock hard in her shorts, dying to tear into the cute, round, tight piece of purple ass before it. Twilight moved as if she was oblivious to her power over Rainbow, bending over in such a way that Rainbow could see glimpses of her panties under her skirt as she moved. It took all of Rainbow Dash’s self-restraint not to tear Twilight’s skirt down and fuck her where she stood. But, uncharacteristically, she waited, because she knew that this would be worth the wait.

“You should know by now, Dashie. The only thing that’s impossible is impossibility!” Twilight finished her chalking, taking a minute to check her work. Hoofier’s Rune of Alteration wasn’t an easy circle to master, but Twilight had studied the rune, and Hoofier himself, for years. The center had a hexagon in the center, with curving semicircles looping over each other and tiny characters of a long-dead language along the edge. After looking over her work no fewer than six times, she set down her chalk. She strode into the center of the circle, hovering over various pieces of parchment for her to review.

“So, let’s go over a few rules,” said Twilight. “This is going to be a relatively straightforward experiment—”

“Don’t try to turn our weird relationship thing into science,” said Rainbow with a roll of the eyes. She flapped her wings and fluttered into the air, drifting over to the Friendship Map. She sat herself down on the table’s surface. She noticed Twilight’s gaze drift occasionally, sometimes dropping from her notes to the bulge in Rainbow’s shorts. Rainbow smirked, then crossed her legs to better cover herself, chuckling to herself at Twilight’s slightly annoyed expression.

“In any case, Rainbow, it’s simple. For the duration of the experiment, I will be lowering my intelligence to five percent below the national average. During this time, my intelligence will be distilled into a gaseous form, which will be distilled into a liquid and contained in a bottle for later re-insertion.”

“And then I’ll finally be smarter than you!” said Rainbow, grinning at the very idea. She loved everything about Twilight, physical or otherwise, but she couldn’t help but feel inferior in the brains department. It was why she mentioned this “experiment”, then a hypothetical, in the first place. Rainbow wanted to know what it was like to be the smart one in the relationship. Similarly, Twilight was curious as to how it would feel to relinquish her mind to her lover (temporarily, of course). So, despite Rainbow Dash having said it as something of a joke, Twilight had decided to make the experiment possible.

“Yes, you will be smarter than me. For ten minutes. Then, after precisely ten minutes, you are to re-administer my intelligence at once,” said Twilight firmly. “During these ten minutes, you are to ask me the questions I have prepared on these cards.” Twilight snapped her fingers, causing a stack of index card to appear beside Rainbow Dash. “Record my score, then, when my intelligence is back, we can tune the spell as needed. Understood?”

“Yeah, yeah, now make yourself dumb! I wanna see what that’s like!” said Rainbow impatiently. “And I just know you want to get this done with. You’re looking at me like you’re ready to jump my bones.”

“Actually, this brings me to my last rule, and I can’t stress this one enough,” said Twilight. “No sexy anything. This is just the dry run. Emphasis on dry. Right now, we’re focusing purely on the science. I know how you get sometimes, Dashie, I mean it. Nothing even remotely perverted.”

“So you’re telling me you came out in that skirt, those super sexy panties, swung your cute little butt around but you don’t even plan on putting out?” Rainbow’s joke wasn’t received well with the missus, so she quickly amended. “Alright, fine, egghead. No sexy time during your precious little experiment. I’ll just fuck you twice as hard later tonight, to make up for lost time.”

Twilight blushed, turning away from Rainbow under the guise of inspecting her checklist one last time. In reality, Rainbow knew it was to hide how embarrassed and, more importantly, horny her little nerd was. She smirked, thinking of all the ways to tease Twilight later. But, for now, it was time to focus on the science experiment.

“F-fine. Just shut up and get ready.” Twilight made her papers vanish with a wave of the hand. She took in a deep breath, then turned back to face her girlfriend. She raised her hands above her head, channeling her magic throughout her body. Her horn began to glow, followed by her eyes, and she softly chanted the necessary incantation. “Datius Absentia Sombrum Kagarus…”

A faint, purplish smoke poured from her ears, curling around her head. Strangely, it brought a nice smell with it, like lavender. If Twilight was in a fit state to do so, she’d likely make note of that. Unfortunately, a good chunk of her higher brain function was currently billowing out of her ears. A small vial appeared in a flash of magic, which the smoke quickly rushed into. The vial corked itself, then carefully floated over to Rainbow Dash, setting itself down in her lap. It was warmer than Rainbow would’ve expected, and the liquid inside of it was noticeably thicker than water, about the consistency of milk. Twilight collapsed to the ground, clutching her head gingerly.

“Uh… I feel funny…” Twilight slowly stood up, shaking her head. “Uh… What are we doing?”

“Yeah, I’m supposed to be asking you these questions,” said Rainbow. She grabbed the cards and peered at the first one. “The numbers 2 , 3 , 5 and x have an average equal to 4. What is x?”

“It’s the second to last letter in the alphabet, right?” said Twilight uncertainty. Rainbow snickered, but put the card down in a pile to her left.

“Spell ‘citadel’,” said Rainbow, reading off the next card.

“Uh… S-I-T-I-D-E-L. Citadel!”

Another card in the “wrong” pile. On to the next one.

“Who was the pony responsible for assembling the group of flyers that would become the Wonderbolts?” yawned Rainbow.

“Uh…” Twilight bit her lip as she thought on it for several moments. “Commander… Lightning… Storm?”

Rainbow laughed almost manically, then set down the third card. She went to read the fourth, but found herself impeded by a common roadblock: Twilight’s sloppy handwriting. Sometimes, when the princess got into a groove, she would devolve into what she called “doctor’s penmanship”, making what she wrote nearly impossible to decipher. Luckily, Rainbow was well-versed in these matters, so it only took her a few minutes to work out what Twilight had wrote. She looked up to ask Twilight the next question, unable to get the words out on account of what she saw.

Twilight, completely carefree and unconcerned with the results of her experiment, was twirling dreamily, her skirt flapping up and giving Rainbow an eyeful of her sexy purple panties. Almost immediately, Rainbow forgot the cards, her second head doing most of the thinking for her.

“Hey, Twi. C’mere a sec,” said Rainbow.

“Okay!” Twilight skipped over to Rainbow, stopping just before her. Rainbow took a moment to inspect Twilight’s thin, pert body. The princess was a petite girl, not unlike Rainbow herself if not for the fact that Twilight had never set foot in a gym in her life. She was small, pasty, and thin, but with a cute butt and small, perky tits just big enough for Rainbow to squeeze in her hands. Currently, those tits were hidden behind Twilight’s shirt, but Rainbow wondered if she could get around that.

“Alright, babe, the next card says it’s a physical test, okay?” said Rainbow. Twilight nodded. “So, I’m gonna need you to take your shirt off.”

“Huh? What for?”

“For science!”

It got quiet for a moment, with Rainbow starting to regret her laziness in coming up with an excuse. There was no way that her no-effort explanation would ever fool Twilight, even—

“Okay! If you say so!” Twilight quickly pulled her shirt up and over her head, now leaving just a thin layer of bra between Rainbow’s wanty hand and nice, squeezable titflesh.

“Alright, now your bra.” Rainbow was pleased at how quickly Twilight went along with whatever she said now. Normally, she was such a stick in the mud. It was nice to get Twilight to cut loose and do something stupid.

“What’s this for, Rainbow?” asked Twilight, pulling off her bra. Rainbow smirked deviously, gripping Twilight’s breasts. Twilight looked down at Rainbow curiously. “What are you doing?”

“Checking you,” said Rainbow plainly. She squeezed Twilight’s breasts, feeling her firm, stiff nipples between her fingers, and grinned. This spell was working wonders, it seemed. Normally, Twilight would smack her hand away and tell her to focus on the task at hand. Rainbow liked to take a more scenic route through life, at least when it came to getting her hands on Twilight’s boobs.

“Okay. Is everything good?” asked Twilight. It never even occurred to her to ask Rainbow what she was checking for. Rainbow said it was for science, after all, and why would Rainbow ever lie?

“Hm… You know, the tests are coming back… Inconclusive,” said Rainbow.

“Huh?”

“That means that I can’t tell just yet. But don’t worry, I’ve got a back-up test for you.” Rainbow grabbed her shorts and pulled them down, exposing her impressive futa cock. She owed that dick a lot. Not only was it responsible for some of the wildest nights of her life, it was also what brought her nearer to the girl that would eventually become her girlfriend. It was a mutually curiosity as to why Rainbow had a fully functional set of cock and balls, big enough to put mot stallions to shame, that first made Twilight look at Rainbow as something more than just a friend. From friends to fuckbuddies to a domestic relationship in which Twilight trusted Rainbow with her body, her secrets, her very mind. And Rainbow was about to take advantage of that trust for her own greedy, perverted purposes.

Rainbow couldn’t remember her cock ever being harder.

“What’s that?” asked Twilight. She poked at Rainbow’s cock, sending shivers down the pegasus’ spine.

“That’s… Uh… The Magic Science Rod! Yeah, this is the next test,” said Rainbow. She grinned, stroking her cock as she did. “Get on your knees, baby, okay?” Twilight did as she was told, kneeling before Rainbow. Now, she was at eye level with Rainbow’s large, gurgling, productive balls, which seemed to arouse her curiosity. She carefully grabbed at the orbs, amazed by the heft and heat of them. She reasoned they must be really important to the test to be so large.

“What now?” asked Twilight. Rainbow grinned at Twilight’s dreamy, oblivious tone. All of her intellect, all of the annoying, condescending, “I’m smarter than you” in her voice completely gone. Now, she spoke like a girl who didn’t know anything. Rainbow could get used to this.

“This test is simple. All you have to do is suck on the Magic Science Rod until something comes out,” said Rainbow, barely able to keep her giggles in check. “Try to get as much of it in your mouth as possible, okay? It’s gonna feel like you’re choking, but don’t worry about it, okay? You’ll be fine.”

“Hm… Okay!”

And that was enough for Twilight. She parted her lips and wrapped them around Rainbow’s hard, thick “Magic Science Rod”. Rainbow cherished this, because it was exceedingly rare that she could convince Twilight to blow her. The princess wasn’t a fan of giving fellatio, she found it to be inefficient and selfish in most instances, so it wasn’t often that Rainbow could just sit back and enjoy a good blowjob.

And a good blowjob, it was. While Twilight had lost all of her knowledge of math, history, and English, it seemed she made up for it in cocksucking. She slurped messily up and down the length of Rainbow’s meaty shaft. Twilight seemed to be in her own little world, nothing on her mind except the Rod before her, and getting her test results. She really wanted to make sure she was okay, even if she didn’t know what exactly what Rainbow was testing her for. She was determined to do her best, bobbing her head deeper and deeper. True to Rainbow’s prediction, she started to choke and gag, and tears rolled down her cheeks, but she persevered and forced more of Rainbow’s cock down her twitching, convulsing throat.

“Holy shit, she’s gonna hurt herself,” Rainbow thought to herself. Even on the rare occasions that Twilight had been swayed to go down on Rainbow, nothing was enough to convince her to try deepthroating her entire length. Rainbow couldn’t even blame her for that one, she wasn’t entirely sure if Twilight could take the whole cock. But, apparently, Twilight was now too stupid to realize that she couldn’t do it, and kept trying. Rainbow reached forward, her hand trembling in pleasure, and grabbed Twilight by the hair, tugging gently.

Twilight misinterpreted this to mean that she should go deeper, and plunged forward to the base of Rainbow’s cock. Rainbow groaned in surprise, feeling her cock twitch as she came. Thick ropes of cum burst from her dick, jetting directly down Twilight’s throat. As Twilight pulled her head up to finally breathe, the last of Rainbow’s sizeable load filled her mouth, causing her cheeks to bulge with seed. Surprised, she let out a bit of a yelp, letting the cum drip from her mouth and hit the floor.

“Blech! Ith tashts funneh!” said Twilight, lacking the higher brain function required to realize that spitting it out was an option. Rainbow grinned mischievously, saving the mental image of Twilight, on her knees and her mouth dripping cum, for later use.

“Fucking nice,” giggled Rainbow to herself. Out loud, she said “You’ve got to swallow it all, or else it won’t work.”

“Buh Raybow!” whined Twilight. “Ith tashts weird!”

“Sorry, kid, I don’t make the rules. It’s like medicine, you have to take it all even if it tastes bad,” said Rainbow, wondering if Twilight would accept that as truth. Twilight’s eyes narrowed, clearly thinking things over. Rainbow could see the gears turning in her head before Twilight slowly, skeptically, closed her mouth and gulped down her mouthful of cum. That was enough for Rainbow, but Twilight seemed to be an overachiever even when cum was concerned. When the seed in her mouth was swallowed down, she leaned forward and cleaned the Magic Science Rod with her tongue. Rainbow just sat back and watched, laughing as Twilight finished polishing her cock and then went to lap up the cum she let drip to the floor.

“Fuck, that’s hot!”

“All done, Rainbow,” said Twilight.

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” said Rainbow. Twilight hummed in thought for a moment.

“Hm. Guess not. Is the test over?” She spoke like a child asking to be let off of time-out, and was making Rainbow rock-hard all over again. She controlled herself for the time being, wanting to pace herself. Besides, if she took too much longer, Twilight was sure to notice when she got her brains back. So, as much as it annoyed her, this was the time for patience.

“Yup. And guess what?” Rainbow grinned at Twilight’s genuinely confused expression. “You passed!”

“Really?!” Twilight’s excitement was as genuine as it was childlike and infectious. Rainbow couldn’t help but smile.

“Sure did. You did great! Now, you just need to get your clothes back on.” Twilight did as she was told, replacing her bra and her shirt with a quick flurry of magic. She wiped her face to clear away the tears, then smiled widely at Rainbow.

“Yay! What do we do now?” she asked. Rainbow took the bottle of Twilight’s smarts and uncorked it before carefully handing it to Twilight.

“Drink that. You’ve gotta drink the whole thing, just like before,” said Rainbow. Twilight nodded then, without bothering to ask what Rainbow was telling her to drink, chugged it. Almost immediately, her eyes began to glow bright white. She rose from her feet for a bit for crumpling back to the ground.

“Wow, that’s certainly… Interesting. Oh, and that taste isn’t great. Can’t quite place it, but I’m not fond of that,” said Twilight. She shook her head. “Anyway, everything appears to be back to normal. We’ll have to monitor me for a while, but I’m pleased with how things went so far. How many questions did I answer correctly?”

Rainbow glanced at her index cards, almost entirely forgotten, when a devious idea formed in her brain. She tried not to smirk as she picked up the cards and handed them back to Twilight.

“Yeah, you got them all right, actually,” lied Rainbow. Twilight tilted her head incredulously.

“Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah, you honestly didn’t seem any less smart than before.” Rainbow shrugged. “I felt cheated, if I’m telling you the truth.”

“Hm… That’s strange. I guess the spell wasn’t strong enough?”

“Guess not,” said Rainbow deviously. “Better make that stronger next time we try.”

Twilight hummed to herself as she summoned her notes, altering the spell as she deemed necessary. Rainbow just smirked and watched, wondering how stupid Twilight would be during their next session.