Today started out pretty good, for about forty-five seconds, then it started to stink like the south end of a north-bound mule. It began as I awoke to the sound of coughing and sneezing from both of my wives, it seems that they both got Hay fever in the middle of the night. What made matters worse, is that Jackie couldn't make a delivery to some cajun ponies who ordered over two-dozen pies from the farm.

The order would have been traded off to one of the other Apples, but they all had their own deliveries to make, or in Granny's case, too old. I would have done the delivery myself or have Dad or Discord do it, but Dad is up in Canterlot for a weapons demonstration, I had to take care of Lulu and Jackie, and I'm sure Discord would leave the cart in a ditch, or burn the pies and say he left it in a ditch. So, there was only one real option left.

" Kids! Come down here, I need to talk with you." I waited down in the living room while my children came flying down the stairs, literally. " What did I tell you three about flying in the house?" All three hung their heads in shame, though they still had a smirk on their face. " Now, on to business. As you know, both your mothers are ill and I need to look after them. So, while I nurse them back to health, someone needs to make the delivery over to Trotters Bayou. So today, you three will be making the trip there." I ended by bringing them in a hug and leading them out of the house.

Orion finally spoke up for all three of them. " Dad, I can't believe you're letting us do this alone. You must think we're responsible enough to take the truck."

" No way in the frozen wastes of Helheim are any of you taking my truck, at least, not until you three are sixteen and I teach you myself. And as for alone, you won't be doing that either." I grabbed Mimir from his pillow in front of the TV and brought him with us.

" Hey, I was watching that!"

" You can watch Tosh. O when you get back. Right now, you will go with my children and make sure they stay out of trouble and make it safely to the bayou." I handed Mimir to Jack and led them over to the cart that held the pies. " Now, here's the map to the bayou, make sure you get there before the day is done, don't forget your weapons boys, and Scootaloo." Scoots turned my way when I called her name. I bent down and gave her a small bundle. " Just in case the worst should happen." Scootaloo unwrapped the bundle I gave her to reveal two small swords with two chains attached to the end of the pommels.

" Thanks, dad." She put the swords in their sheathe and tucked them under her wings. " I'll use them well."

" That's my girl." I brought her and the boys in my embrace and kissed each of their foreheads. " Okay, get going before I chase you off with a hickory switch." I ruffled their heads before sending them on their way. As I watched them leave with the cart behind them, I went back inside the house and towards the loves of my life. When I went into our bedroom, Jackie and Lulu were sipping tea and doing their best to fight this sickness. " And how are you two feeling?"

Luna blew her nose with one of the many kleenexes before answering. " We could be doing a lot better dear." She gathered all the used tissues with her magic and disposed of them in the already full waste bin.

" Did the kids already leave for the bayou?" Jackie asked before going into a sneezing fit.

I crawled in bed with them and applied a little magic to their foreheads to soothe their woes. " Yes, I sent them off with Mimir not even five minutes ago. They should be back before dinner time."

" Good... you did make sure to give them the new map right, the one that goes around the fire swamp?" I stared off into the void, not knowing if I gave them the right map. " Honey?"

" I can honestly answer that I handed them a map to their destination, but as for the rest, I do not know." At the mention of my not knowing, both of my wives started to look worried for our children. To put them at ease, I brought them close to me and brought the blanket over us. " Don't worry for them, either I gave them the right map and they'll get there safely, or I didn't and they'll rely on Mimir to steer them in the right direction. In any case, all three of them have weapons and the boys have combat training." My words seemed to do little to ease their worries. " Trust me, by the time they get back, the pies will be delivered, the children will be home safe, and who knows, they may have a story to tell when they get back." I kissed both their cheeks before laying down with them.

Jack, Orion, and Scootaloo's POV.

" And that, young ones, is how Odin became known as the hanged one. Now, as for why they call him the Delight of Frigg, it actually has a much dirtier origin than you would think."

" Mimir, not that we don't appreciate the stories, but a little silence never hurt either," Jack told the body-less god while it was his turn to pull the cart.

" Or at the very least, you can tell a story that doesn't involve the gods. What about heroes or far off lands?" Orion asked while chucking random stones into the forest.

" Yeah, we already heard about Beowulf and Siegfried. Tell us about another hero." Scootaloo asked while on top of the cart, examining her new blades.

" A hero huh? Well then, let me ask you all this. Have you ever heard of the Viking known as Ragnar Lothbrok, a simple farmer turned king?" This seemed to pique their interest. " From what I remember, Ragnar lived at least four-centuries before Celestia visited Arminius. He lived in Norway and lived as a farmer with his first wife and children under a mad Earl. When it was time to go raiding, the Earl told them to raid east, but Ragnar wanted to travel west, an idea that at the time, was thought insane. This is why Ragnar entrusted the building of his ship to a mad ship-builder named Floki."

Orion raised a brow at the name. " Isn't that the name of the Trickster god, the one who made Discord and brought the cursed Hel-bramble?"

" It is similar, but the name is merely a coincidence. Floki built the fleet of longboats that would make Ragnar famous in his raids against England and France. He rose from a simple farmer to an Earl who married a princess soon after. Those two had many sons that would become famous in their own time. He became king of all Norway and became the talk of all neighboring kingdoms, both allied and enemy. By the end of his life, he entered Vallhala and left the realm of Midgard with a legacy that will be sung till Ragnarok." All three children were captivated by the story.

Scootaloo had this thought. " Mimir, the more you talk about Ragnar, the more he sounds like dad, with a few exceptions of course."

" Hmm, now that you mention it, they do have many similarities. From humble beginnings to warrior king, two wives gave him children, killing royalty who would go against him. Yes, I think your father might just be Ragnar Lothbrok reborn." Mimir smiled at the idea before he started to look at their surroundings. " Say, does anybody know where we are?" It seemed while they were comparing their father to the famous Viking, they had stumbled upon a swamp with an eerie fog and blasts of fire from random geysers.

Orion brought out the map their father gave them and looked over the path they had taken. " It looks like we're at the halfway point in our journey, though we seem to be in the middle of the Fire Swamp. Yeah, I don't think Ma meant for us to come through here. I'll look for another way." Orion made to look for an alternate route, but then a geyser of flames barbecued the map. " Or, we can just pick a direction and go from there?"

" Crap! Without the map, we're lost." Jack unhitched himself from the cart and went over to Mimir. " Mimir, you were around when Equestria was made, where do we go?"

" Give me a moment lad, I need to get my bearings." Mimir, with the help of Jack, took a look around. When he got a good look, he went to tell the trio. " Alright, after getting a good look around and giving it much thought, I have determined that... we are lost." This caused the whole group to groan in annoyance.

While the three of them contemplated on what to do next, Orion started to hear a sound coming from the nearby foliage. It was a weird sound, like the mixture of three animals, a hiss, a growl, and the bleating of a goat. When he turned to the sound, the bushes started to shake and the leaves rustled from some great creature. " Keep quiet! There's something in the bushes." His siblings quit their squabbling and turned to where their brother was looking.

As they kept their eyes on the bush, the rustling would grow with each passing second until it stopped abruptly. The three of them kept an eye on the bush to see if it would move again. When it didn't move for a whole minute, they decided to press on, that's when it happened. Out from the bush they had turned their backs on, a large monster unlike anything the kids have ever seen before jumped out and coraled it's prey. The creature was almost twice the size of a lion. Its head was adorned with horns, with the face of a goat and a lion's head, facing the ground. From the two maws of the horrid beast, small flames licked out of its two mouths as it growled at the children. To make matters worse, a large serpent acted as the tail of the monster, dripping venom from its fangs. The kids knew this beast from their studies, as a Chimera.

As the monster made its way to the kids, Jack and Orion stepped in front of their sister, wolfed out, and brandished their weapons in hope of scaring the beast away. The beast flinched back for a moment at the change of its meal, but it did not last. The Chimera let loose a roar before lunging forward. Orion moved to the right while Jack grabbed Scootaloo to the left. The beast missed its frontal assault, which gave the serpent the perfect opportunity to strike. It built up some venom and spat it right toward Scootaloo and Jack. Jack saw the venomous cloud head towards them and stepped in front of his sister to protect her, leaving him to be blinded for a time. " Argh!"

" Jack!" Orion, having seen his siblings in trouble, charged to the rear of the beast with his sword held high. " Get away from them you triple-headed bastard!" Before the monster could react to the dark-blue Lycan, Orion sliced off the tail, ending the snake's life. " Take that you slithering bakrauf." The Chimera reared up in pain at the loss of its tail/head. In retaliation, the lion head took control and back-handed Orion head-first into a large boulder. " Ouch. I'm like a cartoon, I'm seeing all Tweet tweet." With that final word, he passed out.

" Orion!" Scootaloo witnessed one of her brothers get knocked out by the monster that stalked them since they entered the fire swamp. Seeing how her brother Orion was knocked out and Jack was blinded, she needed a way to help Jack regain his sight and help her fight this monster. A bubbling sound from a geyser came from their left and it gave her an idea. " Jack, I'm going to help you get your sight back. But I have to warn you," Scoots positioned Jack's head over the geyser as it was about to erupt. " this is really going to hurt." At that moment, the geyser shot forth a torrent of flame at the orange Lycan, engulfing his face and ridding him of the liquid from his eyes, though in a very painful way.

" Owww! Dammit, sis, that's my moneymaker!" As the poison was leaving him, Jack saw that the monster was stalking it's way over to Orion. " Hey, you big dumb fuck, get away from our brother!"

Scoots decided to take action and head for the beast. As she flew toward the back of the monster, she unsheathed her new blades and plunged them into the side of the bastard. The monster roared and shot fire at Scoots from its lion maw, hoping to get rid of the mosquito that bites him. Scootaloo managed to escape the flames of the beast with only the end of her tail being singed. " Hey, my tail!" At the singing of her tail, Scoots took both her blades and plunged them into the eyes of the lion. Using gravity and her own strength, she pulled her blades down with the lion's head being dragged to the ground, ripping its brains out with it. " Ha! Take that you stupid cat... goat... thing?" Being proud of her small victory, she forgot the goat head that now faced her. The goat took control and butted Scootaloo into a nearby tree, knocking off her crown and spraining her rear hoof.

" Scoots!" Jack, being able to see again, saw his sister in distress. Unlike him and his brother, Scootaloo won't be able to heal from the Chimeras attacks and could die. Knowing this, Jack began to see nothing but red, and an enemy to slay. Jack let out a great roar before charging at the last head of the beast. The goat stopped its advance toward Scootaloo and turned to the young Lycan, charging at him with blood-red eyes, instead of the usual green. The goat turned 'round and blasted the ground with a wave of fire. Jack bolted over the fire, and slashed at the monster's face, knocking him to the ground. With the monster knocked down, the Fenrir running through his veins demanded a brutal kill. With a final push of adrenaline, Jack grabbed one of the larger horns from the goat head and yanked and pried at it until it snapped off. Using the horn as a makeshift spear, he aimed it toward the bastard's eye and jammed it right on through to the other end of its skull, ending the monster's life once and for all.

With the monster dead and its body growing cold, so to did Jack's trance from the Fenrir. When his vision cleared and rage subsided, he returned to his civilized form and went to check on his sister. " Scoots, are you alright? What hurts?"

Scootaloo sat up and looked at her sprained hoof. " Just my hoof, I think I sprained it when that goat head-butted me." Scootaloo looked over to where Orion landed. " Looks like he's still knocked out." A wicked smirk then made its way onto her face. " I think you and I should wake him up."

The same grin made its way onto Jack as he helped Scoots back onto her hooves. " That sounds like a great idea, sis." They went over to their unconscious brother, while retrieving Scootaloos crown, and stood before him. " Care to start things off Scoots?"

" It would be my pleasure." Scootaloo raised her hoof in preparation for what is to come. " Orion, it's time to wake up. (Slap) Get up, knucklehead!"

Now Jack. " (Slap) Move your ass, we got pies to deliver!" When the first two slaps didn't help, the two of them had to get more creative. " Oh, this is going to be sweet. (Slap) That's for swiping my pudding two weeks ago!"

" (Slap) That's for making fun of my singing voice!"

" (Slap) That's for eating all my beef jerky!"

" (Slap) That's for spilling apple juice on my Rainbow Dash t-shirt!"

" (Slap) That's for revealing the end of the last Darring Do book!"

" (Slap) That's for beating me at Street Fighter!"

" (Slap) That's for putting a whoopie cushion on my seat during class!"

" (Slap) That's for having blue hair!"

" (Slap) That's for snoring every single night, you know we share a room!"

" And finally! (Slap) That's for continuing an awesome joke and hopefully, that'll continue to be funny!" With Scootaloos final slap, Orion finally woke up.

" Dammit you two, I was having the best dream of my life." Orion looked at their surroundings and suddenly remembered what happened. " Oh crap, did we lose the pies to that thing?"

" Nope, they're right over there by Mimir." Jack pointed over to the cart where the pies were safe and sound, though Mimir looked ready to eat one. " Mimir! Don't eat that, you don't even have a stomach."

" I know, but I do love the taste." Orion hitched himself to the cart and started moving to their designation with Jack and Scoots following.

Joes POV

I was sitting in the living room with the kids as they regaled with the story of their trip. " So in fact, I did give you the wrong map. Damn, your mothers are gonna tan my hide. Though, I am proud and relieved that you were able to fight that Chimera and deliver the pies on time."

" Thanks, Dad, I just wish I didn't sprain my hoof." Scoots had an ice-pack on her hoof while leaning on the couch.

Orion turned away from his game to give his sister some encouragement. " Don't worry, that will heal in a couple of days. By the way, how'd those blades handle?"

" Perfect, they really tore through that lion head."

" Good to hear. By the way, what were you and Jack saying while trying to wake me up?"

Jack near spit out his drink before answering. " Oh, you know, just the usual stuff."

" Well, when your mothers feel better, you can tell them all about it, just, leave out the part about me giving you the wrong map." The kids nodded before going back to relaxing.

Author's Note

Okay, a story involving the kids. Yes, those are the blades of chaos from the fourth God of War. Wanted them to take down the monster because it would be too easy for Joe.

Now for the clip.

Also, why has this song never been used when they want music for a Luna romance?