The Thing We Do For Love

Anon felt the wind rush past him, making him feel free as a bird… if a bird was flightless and was heading straight for the ground.

“OH SHIT!” He exclaimed in pure terror as he came closer and closer to meeting his maker. Just before he hit the ground, a blur swooped past his vision, and he soon found himself alive and well. “Oh, thank God. Wait, what the fuck?” He looked around, taking note of the cyan pegasus with a wicked rainbow hairdo carrying him through the air. “Holy shit, I must have died after all, there’s no way this is real!”

Anon began to kick and scream, whining and throwing a fit. So nothing was new, but it managed to knock him out of the pegasus’ grip, making him spiral into another free fall. He screamed like a little bitch until he was caught once again.

“Okay, buddy, I’m gonna need you to cool your jets. I’m trying to save your life, ya hear me?”

“I really wish I didn’t, this is some freaky shit.” He was about to squirm again, but another look at the ground below made him rethink that, before he decided to just let loose and relax.

“To think God would take pity on me, and personalize my heaven with cute ponies.”

“What in Equestria are ya talking about?”

“Even sounds like her, too.” He moved a little closer and took a whiff of her fur coat, making the pegasus flush red. “Even what I’d imagine she’d smell like.”

He then found himself falling again, this time actually hitting the ground face first. He just laid there, silent and unmoving. Not a single muscle spasm to show he was still alive.

Flying down to observe the short-lived… thingy, the cyan mare poked at Anon’s body, trying to provoke a response. “Eh he he…” She rubbed the back of her neck, before whistling and trotting off in no particular direction. She’d rather be anywhere but there, next to the corpse of some random creature she never encountered, and who she most definitely did not murder, no siree.

A moment later, and Anon finally came to, rising slowly from the indent he left in the earth. “Yup, there’s no doubt about it, that’s certainly Rainbow Dash… then that means.” He got a good look at his surroundings, his smile growing three different sizes of creepy. “I’M IN EQUESTRIA!”

“Shut up, will ya!” A random voice came from a distance, but Anon paid it no mind. He was too caught up in the euphoric feeling of being in his favorite cartoon show, though he wouldn’t admit that in public. No, he had some dignity.

A sudden memory of what happened before getting here flashed before him; an eldritch creature beyond imagining launching towards him, causing him to fall back and slide off the cliff side he was backed into. Next thing he knew, he was falling into Equestria, and that… thing was gone from existence.

It set his mind at ease, a comfort he hadn’t felt in quite some time.

“Hmm? Wonder where Rainbow went off to? Ah well, I have time for that later.” He rubbed his hands together, “Now’s the time for fun.”

* * * *

“Oh, the horror, the horror! Everypony, run for your lives!” Lily Valley screamed in absolute terror as Anon sauntered his way through Ponyville, his hands in front of him, his fingees at the ready. He wanted to hold one of these ponies, after all;this was heaven, and he always wanted to cuddle up next to one. Why else would he buy that five-hundred dollar, life-sized plush of Princess Luna?

Never mind that, there were ponies to be hugged, booped, and groped. Never mind that last one, but it didn’t stop him from trying anyway. It went about as well as a bum trying to do open-heart surgery. His dreams dashed, and thrown away into the trash, as all the ponies of Ponyville cowered away in fear, running away from his passionate hugs.

It made Anon sad, but that wasn’t so bad. Maybe they were trying to prepare for his, “Welcome to Ponyville Party!” Just like how everypony is greeted in the show.

“Oh boy, I can’t wait!”

He saw something shuffling in the bushes off to the side. It had to be Pinkie, scouting to see what he was up to. He made his way up to the bush, hoping to get the jump on her, and let her know he knew what she was up to. Instead, a figure moved faster than he could possibly keep up with out of the bush, making its grand getaway.

“Not so fast, Pinkie!” He called out to the figure, barely seeing the edge of its shadow make its way into one of the timber-framed houses. Now was his chance. Slowly making his way towards the place, he thought up a master plan inside his head. Barge in head-on, and tackle the pony on the other side. It was foolproof.

He slammed the door open, his eyes determined, and his body ready. Instead, what he was greeted with sent the coldest shivers down his spine, his confidence destroyed with the single image of… The Thing in front of him.

It was busy melding with a pony inside the living room of the place, slowing merging and consuming the poor mare. “AAARGRLGL” she screamed, being caught off at the end, as her entire being became one with the creature. She was gone, lost from the world, and now a part of that Thing that haunted Anon’s very nightmares.

A fleshy appendage extended from the mass of flesh, turning towards Anon, an eyeball at the end of it. It stared into his very being, the pupil looking more like a goat’s than a pony. Slowly, the rest of The Thing turned towards him, inching bit by bit as more jagged teeth and orifices opened up to show just how twisted the beast was.

Anon, for the life of him, was too stunned with fear to flee for his life. He just watched as The Thing became more and more grotesque, making its way towards him. As it got right up to him, it raised a hoof like appendage up towards Anon’s face, touching his nose lightly.

“Boop!” Suddenly, the mass of flesh converged in on itself, and took the form of the pony it consumed moments prier. “Ha, gotcha, didn’t I?”

“... W-what?” Anon was barely able to mutter.

“Oh, come on, you thought I was gonna assimilate you. Don’t you lie to me, Anon dear.” She trotted up next to him, twisting her body like a snake around him. “No need to be so serious, why would I hurt you? You’re my darling!”

Anon could not speak. His mind was going a million miles a minute to analyse the situation. Though, a few words did come along to describe the situation he found himself in. “What… the fuck?”

The Thing twisted itself back into a regular looking pony, though she kept that same sinister smile from before. “From the information I got from assimilating with that pony, I know that there should be a party for you going on soon. Best be going, right?”

Before he could utter a reply, he was snagged by a tentacle, dragging him out the house, and across the town of Ponyville. This was going to be a very, very, long day.