The Adventures of Mr. Cake: Red Velvet Hoofprints

This is Agent D. Hooves again, giving you your very first document on Secret Agent C. You know how I gave you the basic idea of how Mr. Cake... Oh, uh Agent C got involved in all of this? Well, I was just told firsthand what had happened to our secret agent to get him involved in all of this. Before I do, I gotta say that this isn't exactly something which just happened yesterday. You know how I said that this is something which happened recently? Well, by recently I kind of meant ten years ago, so all of this happened back in the last decade. Heh, I guess I kind of screwed that up a little. So yeah, sounds awkward since it's taken this long for the royal guard to even release this information, but I'm sure the royal guard had its reasons. So when you're taking all of this sensitive material in, please remember that some stuff hasn't even been invented yet. Also, you may recognize some ponies in this mission review. If you do, that's great, because you'll get a better grip on everything that's going on, right?

To spice this up a little bit, I'm going to add a bit of my own flare to this for you to get you in the mood of things. I dunno, it makes my job more fun.

So here's an intro for you informant recruits!

Ladies and gentlecolts, colts and fillies, I present to you the Adventures of Mr. Cake, starring in Red Velvet Hoofprints. Prepare yourselves for a frosting covered tale of crime, sticky fingers, and style, because this story is sure to put the "C" in "Coolness."

Yeah, that was cheesy...

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It was another day at the Sugarcube Corner, and it was jumping. A sign stood outside with letters made up of flashing neon-colored magic, spelling the very name of the shop with a stylish look to it. There was a twilight sky out with an orange glow from the sun the horizon and sparkling stars hovering above in the sky. It was another cool evening in Ponytown, and it could even be said that "cool" had taken a double meaning. Yes, the air had the perfect chill to it, but the streets were characterized by ponies in flashy clothing and hair styles.

It was at this time of day that Sugarcube Corner was really alive. It was at the end of the day, and Sugarcube Corner was the place to go for dessert after a good dinner from any of the neighboring shops and restaurants. It was at this time in Ponytown's (or Ponyville's) history that Mr. Cake was handling Sugarcube corner on his own, with his candy store hat and vest which could have easily had a pony believe that he worked at a carnival if he wasn't working at his own shop at the time.

A younger Mr. Cake busily took the orders of excited ponies who were greedily eying the sticky sweet sweets in the shelves and cases. Working hastily came naturally to Mr. Cake, since he'd been doing it for about a few years. It wasn't long ago that he'd graduated from his college and sought a career in baking, and he'd learned a thing or two about being quick and accurate with doing his job right. Not to mention that his own cutie mark represented that talent, with three neatly stacked cakes. Although Mr. Cake had many a strong suit, he had plenty of his own weaknesses. Those weaknesses could have been summed up with one word: panic. Mr. Cake was a worrier, and was known for letting his fears influence him in most occasions. Besides that flaw, Mr. Cake was one dapper pony.

Sure, it was just another day in Ponytown, but that doesn't mean something won't go wrong. Never forget Murphey's Law, ladies and gentlecolts!

Yep, something was about to go wrong today, something that would change Mr. Cake's life forever. And no, it wasn't going to be marriage, at least not yet. Today, somepony was going to meet Mr. Cake and turn his busy days at Sugarcube Corner into a life of secret agent-dom. (Did I say that right?)

It was at this time at night that Mr. Cake was just about wrapping up his day at the shop when his last customer of the day was trotting through the shop doors - Mademoiselle Cheerilee.

Normally, it was at the time of night that Mr. Cake wouldn't be taking any more customers, but Mademoiselle Cheerilee was his one and only exception. Mademoiselle Cheerilee was a mare, of course, who donned a purple coat and a fluffly, periwinkle mane. Today she was wearing her signature hoof-warmers, along with some hoof-bands, and stars and lightning bolts in her mane, not to mention the groovy checkered scarf that she was wearing around her neck this evening. Many a pony in Ponytown had estimated that she may have had approximately ten colts with crushes on her and three ex-lovers in high school alone, along with one stallion who she never left, and that lucky stallion was Mr. Cake himself.

Mademoiselle Cheerilee trotted up to the counter and smiled, "I'll have the usual."

"A vanilla milkshake with strawberry whipped cream and no cherry?" Mr. Cake asked.

"You would be right," Mademoiselle Cheerilee confirmed.

"Coming right up, Mademoiselle," Mr. Cake said, gingerly trotting to the milkshake machine and procuring a glass, which he gingerly placed into the milkshake machine. Pulling a lever here and pushing a button there, the machine produced the vanilla milkshake from a spout just above the glass. When the glass was full, Mr. Cake stopped the machine, turned around and proceeded to take a strawberry whipped cream can and added the delectable whipped cream picturesquely on the top of the milkshake. When he was done, he took the milkshake and handed it (erm, hoofed it. Where did I hear handed it before... was it from Lyra? That makes no sense. Anyways, back to the story) to Mademoiselle Cheerilee.

Mademoiselle Cheerilee glanced at the milkshake, then spoke, "This milkshake looks wonderful, as always."

"My aim is to please, Mademoiselle," Mr. Cake responded.

"I hope you won't take this to heart," Mademoiselle Cheerilee continued, "but it would be nice if I could have a straw for this as well."

Mr. Cake was stunned. Of all possible courtship faults of his life, he never realized it would come to this. He forgot the straw! Mr. Cake was so entranced by the presence of Mademoiselle Cheerilee, that he had completely forgot to add the straw to the milkshake! Desperate situations called for desperate measures, and that is exactly what this situation called for. Mademoiselle Cheerilee must not be dissapointed, and his very relationship status with her depended on it! And so,

breaking his character as the suave shopkeeper,

Mr. Cake responded in the most calm, decent, yet urgent way,

"Don't worry honey bun, I've got this!"

Mr. Cake then pushed himself back from the counter, practically flipping midair and proceeding to land on a hoofstool. From the hoofstool, Mr. Cake sprung one final time and managed to reach the jar of milkshake straws which sat on the top of a nearby shelf. In one final flip, on the way down from his second jump, Mr. Cake successfully plunged the straw (with grace) into the milkshake. Mission accomplished.

When Mr. Cake looked back at Mademoiselle Cheerilee, she looked slightly surprised, and possibly a little flustered.

"Why, thank you, Mr. Cake," Mademoiselle Cheerilee said, breaking the brief silence which followed Mr. Cake's fantastic acrobatic feat.

Mr. Cake composed himself, and layed a foreleg on the counter, "Anytime, Mademoiselle Cheerilee."

"Do you do that all the time if somepony doesn't have a straw?" Mademoiselle Cheerilee asked.

"On occasion," Mr. Cake responded, "Especially when it's somepony who is in need."

Mademoiselle Cheerilee was a little wide-eyed as she sipped her milkshake, imagining Mr. Cake prancing about ponytown shoving straws in ponies' strawless milkshakes.

Unfortunately, this romantic moment between Mademoiselle Cheerilee and Mr. Cake was not meant to last, because at that moment a stallion with a white coat and a deep blue mane, and a black uniform and glasses broke through the door (although the door wasn't actually broken, of course, it just kind of, you know, looked that way) and spotted Mr. Cake. Rushing up to Mr. Cake, the stallion spoke.

"Those were some very good jumps you had made there, Mr. Cake."

"They were?" Mr. Cake asked, a little dumbfounded.

"Yes, sir." The mysterious stallion responded. "In fact, so good that I am recruiting you for secret agent work on account of the royal guard of Princess Celestia herself."

Mr. Cake gaped. Mademoiselle Cheerilee stopped sipping her milkshake, and then gaped after not sipping her milkshake. Yep, life was about to change for Mr. Cake. Forever.

Agent D. Hooves here, giving you some more intelligence on all of this. You're probably wondering, "Who is The Genesis Agent?" since that's the name of the document. Well, I'm glad you asked, because it's my job to tell you! If you didn't ask, then I'm gonna tell you anyway so sit back and read up, recruits!

So, who is The Genesis Agent? Well, Mr. Cake was going to be the royal guard's very first secret agent, so he was going to be the genesis of the entire program. That also means that he was going to be the royal guard's test dummy, so everything they were going to show him about being a secret agent was brand new and untested. Of course, it's probably best that they didn't tell him that.

Anyway, that just about wraps up this document. Oh, and one more thing, somepony in intelligence screwed up some information, and one of our actual secret agent pony's records were assigned to you instead. So if you're targeted by Queen Chrysalis for arson and leaking information, please run and hide until we fix this little thing up, okay? Okay.

Stay informed!

• Agent D. Hooves