An Aprilly Time of Foalishness

Twilight groaned when she arrived to the now shutdown School of Friendship.

Everything was supposed to be fine. She had followed the rules of EEA, and had a rich diversity of species outside of Equestria coming to learn about friendship. Now under the mask of failure, she could not bring herself back to progress as no other race trusted her anymore.

“Can you like bring this building closer? I’m goddamn sick of the distance I have to walk just to even fucking get here.” Starlight yelled from behind.

“Geesh, what a way to cheer somepony up, two-faced slut.” Twilight rolled her eyes.

“Listen sis, I have to tell you something real quick. So you better get some morpheus is fighting neo or else I ain’t repeating this shit twice.”

“Okay, first of all, this isn’t any inappropriate situation. Second of all, you have a minging mullet.”

Starlight looked up and brushed her mane. “The hell you smoking on, my hair’s straight—”

“Gotcha bitch!”

Starlight muttered under her breath, “I’ll get you next time, naffa-loving gecko.”

“Anyway, as the sex offending counselor of this degraded school, I can offer you a couple of suggestions.”

Twilight gasped, her eyes gleaming with delight. “Really?”

“Don’t be an old hag sitting your ass at main office doing nothing.”

Twilight gritted her teeth with bloodshot eyes. “How... nice of you...”

“If you’re willing to turn me into a capitalist greedy hoe after a whole season of slavery and time fucking, then I don’t see why you can’t turn this place into your personal monopoly that deals with the black market."

“Hmm, you have a point there.” Twilight held a hoof to her chin. “But the EEA will definitely overrule anything I have to say. So much for being a fucking princess.”

“So? This ain’t fascism or totalitarian regime. You can tell them to suck your alicorn... uh, horn.”

Twilight took out the EEA rulebook. “But the EEA said—” Starlight punched her in the throat and fired unnecessary magic beams onto the book, burning even the ashes to a crisp.

“Fuck. The RULEBOOK! What kind of c-bomb are they pulling off anyway? They think you’re some doll that functions as a public facade while you giggle your gaggle on the bed with Shining Armor. Go up to their faces and tell them they have no shit over your stupid princess-of-friendshit headass!”

“So you expect me to write my own rulebook?”

“Obviously, retard.” Starlight snorted. “A purple couch potato who wastes her time reading books and acting like a stupid geek can definitely write a Hairy Potty Pants novel of rules that nopony even gives a shit or two.”

“Alright bitch, you crossed the line right there.” Twilight soon beamed with joy. “But you’re right, it’s not about the process, but the reason why we offer such precious education to all races in and outside Equestria!”

“Actually, my point was that you have the greatest share to own the EEA. How can you be a princess if you’re not rich?”

“Wait, you knew I invest in the stock market?”

Starlight nodded. “That’s way fucking easier than wasting a minute or two of screen-time just to convince Neighsay why you should reopen the school.”

Fuming, Twilight knocked the unicorn into the water, hoping that she would drown.