Exposure

Realization

Well, fuck! I need to do something about this big CAT running at me faster than a Kenyan... Sorry, I'm feeling extra offensive today. Especially after being beamed to a new world. Wait, beamed? Okay, I'm re-dubbing "Nigel" to "Scottie". I like to think that I'm an elaborate thinker, but I get things done as fast as I can, no matter what. Math homework? Calculator. Science homework? Google. Reading homework? Summary websites. I had an answer for everything ASAP. Therefore, the first thing I thought of when the previously mentioned cat was seen dashing towards the human with Skyrim/Shock/Dragon Talk powers, shit was gonna get crazy. As the cat neared me, I crouched and looked at the cat, but pointing towards the sky with my mouth by a tad.

"Ruaaawr!"

"FUS RO DAH!" SHWOOSH! "Holy shit! Holy shit! Oh my God! Oh my God! Ohhhhh my Gooood!"

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Fangasm

I screamed until I tasted pure success in my mouth. It tasted coppery. I swear, I almost choked on success! Seriously, because apparently success was blood. Okay, the message I'm trying to convey was I had a nosebleed. Damn, it was a biggie! I noticed it when I cupped my hands to my face in sheer joy and looked at my hands. "Fuck!" I spat out my blood and ran to the brook to rinse off. "Hey!" called Scottie, "You alright? You're havin' a face-period over there!"

"Dude, shut the fuck up! This hurts!"

"Dude?" He asked incredulously, "You didn't just call the spirit of CHAOS, dude."

"Dude," I said smirking at the expense of the fuming Scotts, "chill out."

Well, at least he can take a joke. He burst out laughing and walked over slowly. "I like you, kid. You got good things goin' for ya. Don't die on me, cuz' I have faith. That isn't something I have in things normally. Anyway, you do whatever it is you do when your alone." He gave me a wink... I didn't get it.

"Wait, how do I survive? I don't even... I don't know what to do!"

"You're a human... Trust me, it'll come to you faster than a face-period." And with that, he was gone, leaving to my own devices. Sure enough, it didn't come to me. My face-period, I mean. That thing wasn't leaving for a long time. A full 30 seconds of pure blood loss. I wasn't feeling light-headed though. Did... Did I have unlimited blood? Nope... I passed out.

When I came to, there a smoldering piece of grass on my face. It smelled nice. Someone was reviving me. An arm, covered in fur, waving a piece of something grass-like in front of me. I did that normal, manly thing to do. Scream at the top of my lungs. "AHH!" I turned to see a cat lady straight out of a wacky manga staring at me, a smile spanning the majority of her face while flicking out the grass leaf. "Ah, the screaming reaction. Congratulations, you are the 10 percent."

"Sonnuva.. Ahh.." I rubbed my head, did they drag me here and hit my head on MORE TREE ROOTS the whole way?

"Oh good! I thought you would've had brain damage, honestly. From what Shiela and Kaitlee said, your head was hit by tree roots," She looked like she was mentally counting, "18 times." Fucking knew it.

"Well," I said, mustering about 60 percent of my sarcasm, "glad they were careful." Kitty-lady giggled and introduced herself, "My name is Nadene, and I have no idea what you are!" That is the best introduction ever. I took a second or so to stare at her, looking for likeness between me and her. Two arms, two legs, two foot/paw things, two hands;four fingers on each, two eyes, two pointed ears, a mouth, a nose, and a blade of special revival grass. Now everything except the grass, I shared with her. Oh and minus the "pointed" part where I mentioned ears. And the four-finger thing. She was a light-orange and wore relatively human clothing. I decided to respond with as much obviousness and briefness as I could muster. "Likewise!" She giggled again, and stood up. She was at decent height, around 6 feet tall. I tried to stand up, but the pain in my head was crazy. No thanks to Shiela and Kaitlee. "Whoa," Nadene crouched down to where I nearly fell, "you alright?"

"Well, ask my head. It's the one that decided to become a tree root magnet." She giggled again. She was an incredibly giggly thing. "Why don't... I tell you what I am first..." I asked.

"Ooh! Alrighty"

"Well, I'm Jason. I'm a human and... Yeah. That's it. I take it there aren't many of my kind here?"

"Nope! None, actually. That's alright though, I guess... You look just like us! Only... With less fur!"

"Yeah. Anyway, your turn, I suppose."

"I'm Nadene," she said, helping me to me feet, "And you must be hungry."

"I just told you, I'm Jason." She giggled for about the 300th time, "No, seriously though, no thank you. I ate just a little bit ago. I should be fine for another few hours. Well, actually, how long was I out?"

"Well, it's about an hour past midday so.. Four days."

"Four days! What the... I could have been in a mini-coma!" She went wide-eyed and looked at me, panic in her voice, "What!? How?"

"Your welcoming committee smacked my head on 18 trees!"

"No, it was only about 3 trees. The kept circling trees trying to get back to the village... They... Don't have the best sense of direction."

"Beautiful." Nadene didn't giggle. I know, right? Instead she laughed. What was so funny, I don't know. My sarcastic outbursts aren't that funny, are they?

"Don't worry, I checked for injury. You have nothing to worry about. Other than mini-comas. I doubt that though, although you did have a lot of blood on your face. Nosebleed?"

"Nosebleed."

"Ah. Well, I've set up a section of the room. It's yours for as long as you stay here." I tried to protest, but she wouldn't let me. She said that it was in her kind's nature to be nice. Literally. Also, she was not to receive anything in return. Seriously, she had to turn everything down. God dammit, I wish more human were like this. Oh well, I thanked her and began to walk away, only to realize something. Where was I going to go? What was I going to do? Well, that could be figured out at a later time. For now, I had to find out where the fuck my phone went and check my Facebook. Then I have to figure out why I was stupid enough to think that there would be a signal here.

...

Shut up, I'm not crazy, we've established this.

...

Anyway, I was already at the window, so I looked outside to catch a glimpse of the village that I would take residence in for a while. There were children playing, not many, but they were there, no doubt. There were adults talking, and the faint sound of a mother calling two children indoors, "Shiela and Kaitlee! Come in for some lunch!" Now I know where they lived. Those brats. They seemed a little younger than Nadene, and skipped merrily to their house. I don't give a fuck what you think about me for not exploring the SHIT out of this place first, I wanted to play some Angry Birds. "Nadene!" I called out, in the entire opposite direction of where she was. She came up behind me and shouted back at me just as loud as I shouted for her, "What!?"

"Oh, hi. Heh.. Sorry. Anyway, have you seen my cell phone?"

"The what?"

"About this big," I moved my hands to show the length, "black, thin-"

"Oh, yep! That thing! We found it in your pocket and had no idea what it was. It's in the kitchen."

"Which is where?"

"Down that little hallway."

"Thanks!" I strolled calmly -as calmly as I could get- down that hallway until I reached the back, which was a fairly sized room with a kitchen, an old looking sink, a stove with a pot on it, and a table. I assume I had caught the father in making a delicious stew. "Umm... Hi there!"

"Oh!" He turned around and looked absentmindedly into the very fibers of my soul. How do you even do that? First thing he said to me?

"Sorry about the eyes. Moderately blind. Hope it isn't too strange." Somehow, this man-cat earned my respect. And he was cooking a great smelling meal BLIND.

"No no, it shouldn't be that bad... This smells amazing. I have to say that at least."

"Thank you!" He exclaimed, immediately righting his eyes. If he was really blind, that was some freaky stuff. Nightmare material, bro. Whatever. "Hey," I asked, collecting what was left of my composure, "I'm looking for a device. Flat, black, lights up occasionally?" He pointed to a counter where I saw... Nothing. "Sorry." He said, switching hands. There it was. "Thanks!" I gleefully picked up my only connection to the world and practically jumped for joy back down the hallway! Back in the bedroom, I sat down in the corner and proceeded to turn on my phone. Nadene peeked over my shoulder and looked at the screen. "What's that?"

"My phone. I can't do most things on it, though. Seeing as there's no internet. See? That cross symbol means... no... internet...."

The bars...

Full...

Hory shet...

I HAVE INTERNET! YES! SO MUCH YES!

Suffice to say, I freaked out. The realization of how amazing this scenario is... is amazing. I have superhuman powers, a working phone, I can talk to dragons. However, the only con to this all is I'm in the land of furries. Let's hope they aren't anything like the internet says.

(Author's Notes: Yet another chapter written in the AM. Please correct me if I spell something incorrectly. Lastly, thanks for the great first reception. You guys rock!)