Exposure

Acquaintanceship

I was making good time, and it seemed to me that I wouldn't to take such a sharp left turn, seeing as this river curved and meandered left and right. I hoped I didn't have to turn, anyway. Oh well, best not to dawdle on minute things like that. Yeah, ya like that? I got that off of Xbox Live. I raged over a tactical nuke and some jackass told me to calm my pits. Then some British guy told me not to dawdle over... you get it. Then I ragequit. Nevertheless, that lesson stuck has with me since then. As in... the month leading up to the disaster. Whoo-hoo...

I had just refreshed myself with some water, (Which didn't taste as chemically altered as Earth's. (Because it CAN on occasion.)) when I felt a pang in my stomach. It took a while, but it occurred to me that it was *gasp* hunger pains! Dammit, do I even have food? No. Are there food trees nearby? Probably not. Okay Jason, calm down. You've navigated plenty of forests... on Minecraft. You can navigate this one. I walked out, away from the river, to try to find food. I wasn't sure if I had the heart to kill an animal, and sure as hell didn't have the know-how to cook one, so I decided to stick to fruits and berries and the works. Lucky me, I came up on some mangoes. Oh, thank you Lord! Er, wait. Celestia... That's so going to take some getting used to.

Also, I found berries. Fruits and berries? Check-a-lecka-ding dong. Hold up, though. I don't know if these berries are deadly or not. Now, naturally, a normal person would toss 'em back and stick to JUST mangoes. Thing is, I'm not normal. I'm part idiot. About 20% full-blown idiot. So my first thoughts were, 'Okay, I'll eat half of one now, and if I'm not dead in a half hour, I'll eat the other half and wait another half hour. If I'm not dead by then, I'll take a bunch with me.' I'm clearly not the brightest being ever. A part of my brain said, 'What the hell do you think you're doing? But was quickly silenced by the other majority of my brain as I swallowed the half of the berry. I marched over to the side of the river bank with a few mangoes in my backpack and a belly full of about two of them. I laid down and tried to get some sleep. It never crossed my mind that there would be some serious shit in these woods.

A small while later, I was woken up to the sensation of being dragged on the ground. And that of laying on rope. Was I in a net? I opened my eyes and looked around. I was right. Two dog-like creatures were dragging me none-too-carefully through the woods. At first, I was scared, then I was angry, then I was worried. Where's the river? What if a can't find fresh water? Then I remembered my new abilities. 'I'll beat it out of them later.' I thought. But first, "Hey, fleabag! Oof!" A kick to the side was its response. "Yeah, I'm talkin' to you! What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Looks like you were right. It talk. I pay you when back at den." He muttered in broken English. "Listen, creature!" It snarled at me, "You are coming with us to mines. You work there good? You live." I was free labor? I was a slave? I'm nary too happy with that idea. So I responded the same way that the internet would have. "Umm, how about no?" A paw came down on me. On my head this time. Damnit, this hurt... Okay, not really too much- But THAT'S what worried me! Why didn't this cause me to clutch my head? Did they drug me? Was this a power? Let's see... Shock, How to Train Your Dragon, and Skyrim. Shock meant I could beat their asses up, H.T.T.Y.D. meant I could talk to dragons. Skyrim meant I had the voice, but what else happened in Skyrim? I remember in EVERY fighting fantasy game, you always... take... minuscule damage. Oh, hell yeah. "Fine. I'll go. What happens, and when can I get outta the damn net?" I asked, malice lacing my voice. The retarded creature didn't notice, and spoke with what I could clearly tell was false authority. "We meet with other dogs, bind you, march you to compound. Then you mine. Simple."

Yes, indeed. Sounded like they were going to let me free of the net to bind me. Lazy fuckers just didn't wanna haul me over at this point, I suppose....

No. I am not fat, thank you very much.

For a decent half hour I was dragged through the forest. At least I knew they were dogs now... and at least I knew that those berries weren't poisonous. That made me feel so much better! Wait... Where's my backpack? I looked up to see... one of those dogs wearing it. "Hey!" I shouted, drawing his attention, "Gimme my backpack back."

"Hahahahahaha!" He laughed, "Silly creature! This is mine now. Plus, mangoes look fresh. And tasty. I keep." That does it. He's gonna hurt. Finally, we popped out of the random parts of the forest and onto a dirt path. We were at a fork in the road, except we were coming from one of the paths that split the road. Once we were able to see the other path, I spotted two more dogs dragging something with feathers inside another net. The hell was that? As I got closer, I saw that it had a beak and the whole midsection leading to its back legs was coated in fur. I silently chuckled to myself, 'Oh damn, I forgot, this place has griffins.' "Good catch, Fenton. Boss will be happy. We eat good tonight." A couldn't help laugh. Thank Celestia it went by undetected, otherwise I'd be kicked again and lose 5 health. Heheh... His name was Fenton! I immediately thought back to that RayWilliamJohnson episode with the dog named Fenton...

'He's Fenton!' 'The sheep had to die! Hoohoohuhuh!'

The griffin's eyes widened as it saw me... I'm.. I'm gonna call it a she. She doesn't quite look like a guy. She then looked away from me and up at the dogs... mine in specific. I looked up too. One had a vial in his hand. If I've ever seen a cheap trick, this was one. Knockout gas. The cheapest of the cheap. It was a small vial. Probably so they could wake us up right after we were tied. No sir. I quietly held my breath and tensed up. They just had to buy this... The griffin began to rapidly claw at the net, trying to break it. Try as she might, she couldn't escape. The vial hit the ground and a green gas spread around us. I slowly exhaled to prevent it from going in my nose, but collapsed to fake them out. I kept my eye open a smidgen to look at the griffin. She wobbled and faltered before collapsing. The dogs huffed in success. "Good," he started, waving a hand/paw around to clear up the gas, "Get them out and tie up." I inhaled and exhaled evenly, pretending to sleep as I let the dogs take me out of the net.

I have to give them credit. They aren't nearly as retarded as I thought! They figured out I was bipedal. Seeing as my arms are shorter than my legs, that deduction must have taken a whopping 20 IQ! I applaud them. They slumped me against a tree and I watched in amazement as they knew exactly how to tie up the griffin. They had obviously done this many times. I don't like them now. I really don't like them now. They bound her wings and put makeshift mittens on her hand/claw/talon/things and her paws. Then they moved to me. Only one of them, though. I think he went to investigate. He turned back with the shocking revelation that I was bipedal, (As I said before.) and went back to his diabolically inefficient buddies. This was my chance. I got up as they finished tying the griffin up and backed up into the brush.

I watched as they looked for me. Like I said, inefficient. They looked up, in the trees and around the dirt road. Then, much to my relief, they gave up and woke the griffin up, to begin her trek the rest of the way to their lair. I watched with a heavy heart as they slowly trudged away. I looked at the griffin's face which was slightly lowered and saw tears brimming in her eyes. She knew what was happening. This was clearly a big problem in Equestria. Or, at least, around these parts. Time to play a part. It's called assassin. I stalked behind them, a little ways back, hoping they didn't see me. They didn't ever turn around. They didn't ever look for me after that. They were too stupid. But one of the things that I hate the most.

Bad grammar.

Darn tootin'. As I walked, I planned. I found a rock, and decided what to do. I got close enough to throw the rock and did so right into the shrubs beside them. They stopped and looked over to where I threw the rock. "You two stay. We look. Come, Killer, we go." The one called 'Killer' nodded and went of into the wild brush. When I felt they were far enough away, I began to stalk. I waited in silence. Now the dogs were being "efficient". They were gone for quite some time. One dog fell asleep, while the other leaned against a tree. Silently and slowly, I crept up on the dog that was leaning against the tree. I looked him over from the back for just a second. He had another vial of sleeping gas and a knife.

Time to pull a Far Cry 3. I went up behind him, worrying what I was going to do was cruel. Then I realized that this innocent griffin would likely die from mistreatment in the mines if I didn't. And I almost did, too. Whoops, there goes the guilt, out the window. I quickly pulled the knife from his holster and put a hand over his mouth. In one swift motion a had taken the knife and plunged it into his throat. He struggled for a second or two before falling limp. I gently put down his body. I was depressed for about 5 seconds before thinking, 'Enough moping!' I had to take down this last mutt. Looking back to the dog I killed, I remembered he had a sleeping potion thing. I grabbed it off of him and tossed it over to the dog that was asleep. Unfortunately, the gas spread to the griffin, so I would have to drag her out of here. Hope she ain't heavy. After all, I'm not the strongest guy ever. And by that, I mean I'm weak as hell.

As if on cue, the other two dogs came back from their search to find one of their guys dead and one sleeping in gas. They didn't know it at this point, though. "Fuck." I muttered quietly. I actually think it was Fenton that I knocked out. They tried to wake Fenton up, to no avail. Then they walked over to the dog who I killed. I slowly backed up because I was close to him, I hope they didn't smell me. They put a hand to his chest to wake him up. The dog that did so immediately recoiled and looked at his hand. I heard, "He's here. Search." Dammit. They were scanning and searching the shrubs on the opposite side of the trail, but were looking away from me. I took this chance to look for a hiding spot. I looked up and realized that the tree I was under was covered in more leaves. I quietly and slowly climbed, thinking about what the hell I was supposed to do.

They were coming my way, and I had to think fast. I found a sturdy branch to walk on and waited. He turned. Faced me. Didn't look up. I ran.

He didn't see me until I was in front of his face, plunging the knife into his chest. He friend spun around to the sight of me killing his pack mate. "You! Yes you! You are dead!" I resisted the urge to laugh at his unintentional TF2 reference as I readied myself for battle. He ran at me with his arms outstretched, intent on swiping at me with claws, no doubt. I ducked as an arm flew over my head. I noticed he was ready to punch me in the head, so I popped up, pushed his swiping hand away, grabbed the punch that was now at gut level and spun him around. A pushed him into a tree and held my knife to his neck. I recognized him as the one who kept kicking me in the net. I spoke with pure hate in my voice,

"Where's the river? The one you found me at?"

"I not telling you! You are but a creature! Diamond dog not answer to creature!" I elbowed his head against the tree and he howled in pain before stuttering out, "T-to your le-left. Don't kill m-me." I punched him in the back and let him bend backwards, then I plunged the knife into his chest. Despite his behavior and vocal control, when he looked at me, before he died, he had a kind of anger written on his face. I dropped him and went over to the griffin. She hadn't woken up yet, fuck. I picked up the tied part of the net, that- ... It just occurred to me that to make a net, you literally tie the whole thing. I picked up a part that was tied specifically for carrying and started to pull. Now I know why those "diamond dogs" wanted us to walk. This bitch is heavy!

After a while, I made it to the river. There, I was able to wash the blood of me and talk to myself reassuringly. The reassuring part didn't last long, though. After all, I WAS talking to myself. That's never good. Then again, I'm never good. Aha, also, something you should know that I'm happy about. I got backpack back. Fuck yeah. Wait, why'd I say it like a name? "Backpack"? No, I ain't Dora. I munched on some mangoes and berries. This shit was off the heezee. Off the hook? No? No ghetto? Okay, then. Finally, the griffin started to stir. Of course, I had undone the net ropes with my trusty knife who I was now naming 'Sir Stabsalot'. She woke up with a yawn and a shudder and looked around. Naturally, this was interesting so I had already walked over and crouched beside her, "Yo griffin! ... You alright?" She slowly opened her eyes and...

Well, I was right. It's a girl. How do I know? SHE SCREAMED IN MY FACE AND KICKED ME 5 FEET IN THE AIR. But no biggie. Worst thing? I lose 5 more health. "Holy shit!" I exclaimed as I hit the floor. She quickly got up and pounced on me. "What the hell are you and what did you do to me?" I shoved her off and got up, getting some space between us. I drew Sir Stabsalot in preparation for battle and wittingly replied, "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die. Relax! I'm kidding. I'm Jason, and I just saved your ass from slavers." I smirked and continued, "Nice to make your acquaintanceship."