Exposure

(AN: Hope ya like DIALOGUE!)

Adventure

"The hell are you?" She screamed.

"Well, that's not a very nice way to talk to that guy who saved your sorry ass. Speaking of sorry asses, be sorry. You just knocked me flat on mine."

"Sorry, I don't usually wake up to hovering creatures above my face."

"Touche. Sorry about that bit. But look! Water! Food! Things! No diamond dog things! Happiness?" She didn't even acknowledge me! She just looked around, slowly getting more and more worried looking. "Where are we?" She asked, sounding scared. "Oh look here everyone, a normal question. Well, according to the map I don't have... We're on a planet." Damn, I'm sarcastic. "So," I began, acting so blasé it wasn't even funny, bro. Serious time, go! "What's your name? I showed you mine, you show me yours. Despite her nervousness and apprehensive behavior, she chuckled at that. "I'm... Kathena..."

"Kathena... Interesting. Well, nice to meet you!" I walked over to her, arm extended down a bit, for her to grab onto. She, thankfully, understood the gesture and vice gripped my hand like a bear trap. "Owowowowowow- shake; don't crush." She laughed and let go, "Nah, I think I'll stick to crushing."

"I'm never shaking... hands... talons... appendages with you ever again. I hope you know that now."

"Well, duh, you just said it. 'Course I know it."

"Damnit, being a smart ass is my job. Shoosh your face hole!" Well, it was conversationally easy to talk to her, so that was a plus. "So, where are you headed?" She suddenly became very interested in everything but my face. "What's the problem?" I asked; the man in me not noticing the fact that this was an uncomfortable subject for her. Nevertheless, she confessed her situation.

"It was a few months ago. My family was to keep track of the jewels collected every day. Some days we had so much work to do, and some we practically had none. Around the time of my "problem", we had a streak of low work. The gems weren't coming in at a fast rate. Rather than blame the importers, shippers, or what have you, they blamed us. They claimed we stole their stupid fucking gems. WHAT THE HELL would we do with those!?" She rose up on her back legs, and was almost as tall as me. I backed up a tad, but she didn't take notice. She kept screaming. "Now, because Diamond Dogs are absolutely fucking stupid, they killed my parents first before searching. After they didn't find anything, they tried to bag me- make me work. So... I ran." She slumped back down to all fours and looked at the ground. "I really didn't think about it until now, but... I miss them. When I'm not trying to run, I'm trying to find food or hide. I never think too much about them.

Her voice was cracking, and she was speaking more and more softly. Well... I'm sad now. I'm sad because I hate it when fluffy things are sad. And, like it or not, she was fluffy. Fluffy plus sad makes adorable. Because maths. So, I thought of something to say. "I'm... sorry. I know ho-"

"How!? You don't know what I went through! You have no clue what it feels like! What it feels like to have your home stripped from you! To be alone! So why be sorry? Just leave me alone..." She was screaming through shameless tears. Celestia help me, I'm going to be shredded by razor fingers for what Imma do, aren't I?

I am a nice pasty white colored cracka'. Don't you dare say a damn thing different! I walked over to her and gave her a big, fat bear hug! Look, I really hate seeing sad things. Have you ever seen a sad cat? Not from Shrek, a real one. That's like what it was, but add feathers and a beak. And, you know... the ability to talk. Nothing big. She pushed away, but it didn't seem like she was trying to too much. I think she secretly wanted one of these all along. Well, too bad, this looks weird. I let her go and stared at her sternly, "Now, be quiet and turn off these waterfalls." I pointed to her eyes. "I'm not of this world. I was ripped from my reality to plop into this world by the spirit of chaos, from what I know. First thing I did was run away from a jungle cat. I had family too. They're probably freaking out right now. I don't know where exactly I am, or what direction to go in specific, but I'm heading to Stalliongrad if I can. You're more than welcome to tag along, seeing as you don't wanna be alone now, do you?" She frantically shook her head, "Good. Now... I was Jewish at one point so, jeez, you gotta get some meat on those bones! When was the last time yeh ate?"

"Um... Couple days ago. And what's Jewish?"

"Come, have some mangoes, we'll play some pisha paysha."

"But I-"

"Listen to yehr Uncle Jason, would yeh?" I sat cross-legged on the ground and tossed her a mango from my bag. She caught it clumsily and sat down by me. It was late in the afternoon. We sat in silence for a minute, before she asked a question that I honestly was waiting for. Not, 'Ask the question, I wanna answer! NOW!' kind of waiting, but, 'Meh... I could answer this way or that... I expect a query on the topic.' so... at least I was calm. The question was, "How was your world? What was it like?"

"Well... I lived in an area... kind of similar to Equestria," she rolled her eyes at me, drawing a strangle glance from me, but I continued, "It's called the United States of America. Very large continent, and 50 states making up the inside. A big thing about America is that it provides freedom. Heh, ya can't kill, per say, but you can do many other things. We have technology. Cars, for instance. Think of carriages that pull themselves. We can watch others of my kind on the internet... which is... it's something horrendous which I'll explain later... Buildings that hit the sky, bridges longer that some cities, etc... Her mouth was open, like a dramatic jaw drop. "Really though, it sucks. I'll explain another day."

"Well then... Nice planet, sounds like... something good. So, Stalliongrad?"

"Stalliongrad."

"Let's head out when we're done here. Okay?"

"Okay..."

"So. About Jewish 'n stuff..."

"Oh good God." Fucking religion. Religion everywhere.

We had been marching about for a few hours. It was almost pitch black outside; the only light available was the moon. It was brighter than Earth, but still, I wasn't used to not having light from a city not far off. The only reason we were walking now is because we were collecting firewood for a cave we found. It was shallow, empty, dry, uphill, and best of all, no creepers or cave spiders spawned it! ... I know... I'm sad inside. At this point, I'm exhausted and all the hums from my mental music library known as my thoughts have been depleted. "What... are you doing?" She asked me slowly

"Humming! Problem?" I asked mischievously. "Did you want to hear more of my pretty vocal chords?" I put on a troll face as best I could and stopped walking, just staring. She seemed unnerved beyond compare.

"Don't ever do that again." She stuttered. I dunno, it was funny, I guess. I laughed a bit and kept walking.

So yes...That was the whole highlight of the walk.

We were eating more mangoes and berries as we laid down on the grass, a couple feet apart. I looked up at the stars. It was awesome, really. They seemed to be placed in just the right aesthetically pleasing manner. "Are the stars always like this? It's... interesting."

"As annoying as the ponies are... their princess of the night... good job on her part."

"Annoying? What?"

"Maybe... I'll explain it one day. The same day you tell me more about your planet." Oh, well then. I was about to retort something stupid no doubt, when she continued, "Say, what was your favorite thing to do on your old planet?"

"VIDEO GAMES. Kathena plees."

"Plees? Video games? Umm... forget I asked."

"Plees. P-L-S. Plees. It means 'please'. And video games? Like moving pictures that you control. Epic stuff. Games like, shootin' people up with guns. Ehh... Machines that fire metal pellets to kill people. Games like Sonic where you run fast as fuck to get to the goal for whatever reason. Games like Portal where you solve puzzles with portals in walls. It's great. Thousands of 'em exist."

"Damnit, I wanna visit your world."

"Sorry. Looks I bought a one way ticket for one. Cry some more."

"I'll make you cry some more." Wow, childish much? DAT'S SUPAR HOMO! Oh I... I thought we were talking about this generation's children. My apologies.

"Eh. Probably." She laughed a bit. Sad, really, because it's true. I wasn't kidding. I can't take a hit at all. Apparently I can deal them though. Kathena yawned and got up, making her way over to me. She lifted my top half so I was sitting, and sat down next to me. "So..." She began, "How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Get me outta there. How did you do it? I remember one minute, you were in a net, they tossed a vial, I..." she shuddered, "was out like a light, and... You were gone. Then I wake up, walk, fall asleep, wake up again, kick your ass- Rather, kick you ONTO your ass," She barely suppressed a giggle, and- OH C'MON! I could shout her higher than that! "Then, we walk. That's it. That's my day."

"Well, let's see. I wasn't happy with those dogs taking us, so I hatched a plan. I would break out and run for it. Then I saw you. It made me angry to see that this was so widespread. Tell me. Did you panic, when they flung the vial down?"

"Well... you see... yes..."

"I was calm as a potato. Potatoes are calm, right? I pretended to be knocked out, falling over, and when they weren't looking, got away. So then, I stalk them, with you. I tossed a rock to get their attention away from you. The two dogs left and I stabbed one of the ones protecting you in the throat with his own knife..." I pulled out Sir Stabsalot, "Then threw a sleeping vial onto the other. It spread to you, so... sorry about that. Then the others came back so I jumped off a tree onto one, stabbing it, and fought off another with expert ass-kickery, and saved the damsel in distress. Call me your knight in shining armor, and I will leave you right here."

That last sentence seemed to make her really sad, so I had to reassure her I wasn't going anywhere. Jesus, talk about separation anxiety! "Hey... Don't worry. I ain't leaving you here. That be straight up cray cray, fo' rizzle."

"Heheheh- What!?" She said, suddenly in a fit of chuckles. "Nono, you know what? Don't answer. That's what makes you interesting. I ended up with a badass mental institution escapee. Great."

"Hey! I take little-to-no offence to that!" She just laughed at me, which was fine, because it gave me plenty of time to flip the bird. She got up and trotted off to the cave, the fire in it still burning strong... That sounded like a retarded line from a 70's song. She called back, "I'm hittin' the hay! Don't have me wake up to you on top of me again!" Ooh, trying to embarrass me? I can play that game.

"Is that my challenge for tomorrow?" She paused, stared at me, and nearly ran for her life. Or virginit-aaahhhI'm not gonna go there.

I woke up around 8pm, considering the height of the sun and the warmth of the air. Good day, it was. Not a cloud in the-  KRA-KOOOOM God damnit. Thunder, y u no let me finish!? Jesus, when did thunder turn into Kanye West? *buh dum tssh* I- I'm sorry, I'll go sit in the corner. Seriously, though, I turned around and saw the biggest cloud ever. It was just under the size of a hurricane. Which brings me to another point. Why do they name hurricanes? Shouldn't they all be: Hurricane 'Fuck it, I'm hitting Florida again'? Oh well, it was big.

I was also trying not to laugh because when the thunder hit I heard a thump and an "Oww!" and I found Kathena holding her head. She obviously jumped and hit it. I gave her the universal, "Good job!" sign that requires thumbs, and she got up, walking towards me. "Do that again, I'll break those off."

"Shut up and look what we're walking through today."

Her jaw hit the ground. "On the bright side," I smiled and started, "At least I completed my challenge for the day! Now stay here!" I ran into the cave and grabbed my bag. As I ran out and approached her, I yelled, "Kat! Grab my hand!" She hesitantly took it and I pulled us forward, whilst shouting, "ADVENTURE!" She flew beside me as we tried to cover as much ground as possible during the calm before the storm.

(Bonus AN: Another chapter written after 12am and before 3am. I typed stupidly, so please tell if I effed up.)