"I got a letter from my uncle and... ah Christ!"

"What is it, Apple Bloom?"

"We gotta get out of here, before it's too—"

BWAAAAAAAA!!!

Shoop-de-Whoop

"Why'd you call me out here, Macky?"

"Sugar Belle, I wanted ta ask ya, if you would do me the honor of, making me the happiest... Urgh, oh god..."

Big Mac suffers a heart attack and keels over dead.

Spaghetti erupts from his pockets.

Ponay in the Membray

Once upon a time, Pipsqueak had eaten too many lollipops and ran about his house well into the night.

"Oi Pippiboy, go to bed at once and spare me this awful racket!"

Pipsqueak did his mother's bidding and went straight to bed.

...The Bed of Chaos.

What a beautiful Ponang *chew*

"What song do you wanna kick karaoke off with, Bonnie?"

"I think I'll try R&B tonight."

"Oh. I had thought you were going to make an Aggretsuko reference."

"I guess the author is capable of restraint on occasion."

PROTEIN

Luna has gone up to the moon for some reflective alone time.

Upon setting foot on the lunar surface, she commences her Moon Walk.

SWAT arrives swiftly to detain her for copyright infringement.

"Hee-HEE!"

Derpy Epic Team

Derpy rips a sheet from her calender.

"Welp, there goes August."

Immediately leaps into bed and snuggles in.

"Wake me up when September ends."

Fillies and gentlecolts...

Please turn your attention to:

Pony Team Epic!

Thorax runs into sans one dark lonely night.

"hey guy. wanna have a bad time?"

"I-I'm not fucking around!"

Thorax whips out two automatic rifles and unloads wildly.

"Hey, I managed to break into one of that guy's segues."

"Oh? Did you see what kind of skit was on?"

"Some kind of video game reference thing?"

"Hmm, another one. He seems to be lacking in originality already."

"Sheeyit, he forfeited that the moment he started writing this. You want to bust in?"

"No, not here. We'll hold until we find a more suitable entrance."

"Dunno bout that. Seems like a pretty damn ripe time to me."

"Our patience will be rewarded soon. Now come along."

"Right."

"..."

"Only a matter of time now, mother-fuckers."

"I do love dresses, darling; they are so comfy and easy to wear."

"But you're not wearing anything."

Rarity looks down to confirm that she is, indeed, bereft of clothes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE—"

Pomblombagah

"What's got you so excited, Spike?"

"Why, It's My BURTHS-DAY! Honja-man—"

Curbstomp.

"Spare my ears that weeb shit and just give me the specifics."

Sometimes I just want someone to hold...

A bunch of colts and fillies are sitting around a campfire, overseen by Applejack as she tunes her six-string.

"Alright ya little fuckers, shut yer yaps as I play you a song from an olden time. A simpler time."

Everyone shushes as AJ opens with some quick, jaunty chords.

"I want to be the minority; I don't need your authority; down with the moral majority—"

Cuz I want to be the Minority!

Twilight catches Pinkie Pie doing a rapidfire step dance routine.

"Pinkie, why are you cutting so wild a jig?"

"Because 'Tiny Tiny Clever Commander' is a bomb-ass stage one tune!"

Pinkie Pie cackles maniacally as a horde of rats eats away at her.

To Be Continued...

Author's Note

Welp, here's your proof that I'm still alive and that this is indeed a proper Hiatus where I'm preoccupied by other things instead of a "fuck off I'm done writing this crap but I'm too lazy and/or stubborn to set it to Cancelled". Rest assured, this "story" will have some kind of conclusion, and YOU WILL KNOW OF IT!

Anyway, long-time commentor of the story L Pondera has done a neato job drawing up a comic of one of my earliest skits. I'd love to post the image here for you, but to this day I still haven't found a way to embed images in stories, so go to L Pondera's DeviantArt page and let the awfulness of my writing wash over you in a visual medium.

Until next time, space boy cows.