"Bout damn time I had a snack."

Applejack goes up to a tree and bucks it.

An apple comes falling down.

GAME OVER: PRESS 'R' TO TRY AGAIN

EEH!

Oh

BYE Eh Neh Ta Me Nee, E Toe

EEH, wohh, wabatiesh ne no

HAA-NA

BLASTOISE!

PONY TEAM EPIC

(Bing Bing, Bing Bi-Bing Bing, Biiiiiing, Bing Bing, Bing Bi-Bing Bing, Biiiiiing)
(Bing Bing, Bing Bi-Bing Bing, Biiiiiing, Bing Bing, Bing Bi-Bing Bing, Biiiiiing)

[CORE MATERIAL AT PLAY]

My Little Pony
Pop Team Epic
Vidja Gaems
Animoos
Interwebs

(Flash STEP! Look at all this reused setting space)
(Boo Reee Deee Ooo)

[KEY SPONSORS]

Zilch
Nada
Zero
NOTHING

(Hit STOP! They're all watching you as you Mas-Tur-Bate)
(Boo-WEEE dodododododooooo)

[CHIEF ENABLERS]
overmind2000
The Voices in My Head
My Adoring Fans!!

(Ohhhhhhhh Myyyyyy Gaaaaaawd Whaaaaat, The Hell?)
(I mean seriously Juuuuuuust, Whaaaaaaaaaat's, the Point-----)

[Song Currently Being Butchered]
Pop Team Epic
By: Sumire Uesaka

(Of reading thiiiiiiiiis, unfolding SPEEROGRAPHU)
(Made up of nothing but madness and Blow, Blow, Blowww)

BUCKIN' TIME

[Special Thanks]
Lauren Faust
Okawa Bkub
PresentPerfect
TomSka
マツ
Hellshake Yano

(After the editiiiiiiiing, if anything sensible left,)
(We might meet again in the Brave New Warudo)
(But if not, then you, can suck, on my ass, ass, ass)

[Made Possible By]
Team PonEpi
FIMFiction

(Sekai Re-MAKE, MAKE, MAKE, MAKE)

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-

-

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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Pony Team Epicure

Sweetie Belle tumbles down some stairs and lands messily at Rarity's hooves.

"Oh, sweet sister! How cruel chance has cut you down in the spring of your youth!"

"Always, remember the all-natural sweetness of Mococoa..."

Sweetie Belle dies.

Pony Mimimimimimi

Pinkie Pie skips along with a freshly baked pie bouncing atop her head.

A very high skip sends the pie falling to the ground where it splats messily.

Why did you let this happen, Pinkie?

What the fuck is wrong with you??

Pony Team Epic, ya bastards

Fluttershy stares forlornly up at the ceiling.

"I really should get some sleep."

She waves to the shadows on the wall.

Rob Thomas nods approvingly from the bedside.

Ponetepipikku

"Yo Spike, I heard we can get to the next level with an epic handshake."

"Heck yeah! Let's do it, Scoots!"

They extend hand and hoof.

They both just stare.

Epic Pony Slice

Luna has decided to visit the Farmer's Market today.

"G'day, fief! I would like this fine bushel of pears, please."

"I'm sorry princess, but we do not accept holy pardons as currency."

"Go to Hell, mortals!"

Derpy Epic Team

"There: the last box of mail neatly put away."

Toola Roola gallops in and bumps against the shelf.

Boxes of mail fall off and crush her.

"I know exactly what went wrong."

Pony Team Epic

"Look everypony, it's Horatio Sanz!"

"Hey there. I came because I was mentioned in the story description, but I didn't have any material planned or things to talk about so, yeah."

Everyone stands around awkwardly.

"Well that's just about the payoff I expected."

Pony Epiiiiiiiiiiiiiic POP!

"I really want to get to the next level, Ember."

"Then allow me that honor, Spike! My lizard hands shall make it a reality."

The Pact is made.

Watchers look on, as they dance, in their merciless sky.

Pony Team Epic, y'all!

Fluttershy and Apple Bloom spot a ghost hovering around one cold night.

"Remembering the melancholy of human existence, even ghosts stray from the path of righteousness."

"But that's a horse ghost, though, Fluttershy."

The ghost parties ecstatically with other lively spirits.

P-P-P-Pony Team Epic?

It's time yet again to spin the Shipping Wheel, Twilight!

"Ooooh-hoo-hoo, I can't wait to see who gets paired this week!"

"Round and round she goes..."

"This week's result is: Get a fucking life, you sad miserable creeps."

To Be Continued...

Author's Note

Unlike the anime, I have the good merciful sense to not repeat chapters in different font colors or something, and nor will I be reusing the 'opening' here but with different joke lyrics (shit's too tedious, yo, even if the music is kick-ass). That being said, what more lies in store? Stick around and hopefully you'll see!