You know, it's occurred to me: With this being an M-rated story, I can write down all sorts of vulgar subject matter. And that's especially possible given the unpredictable nature of this 'story'. I may not get another chance in a very long while...

That settles it! I'm going to earn that M-rating. With this one chapter I'll bathe the entirety of this ill-begotten submission in red. I'll make it the one-stop update for anyone seeking the raw, potent, adult-oriented stuff. The stuff that will make you squirm, angry, morbidly-amused, possibly even uncomfortably aroused. My statement to join the collective of other depraved weirdoes who turn to the illuminated page to jot down their darkest, most NSFW thoughts.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Before I truly begin, I just want to say... Everyone, thank you for coming and continuing to read my nonsense. For those who have been with me from the beginning, or at least most of my tenure here on FiMFic, your views and comments help give my tatty tales validation. So again, my deepest arigato gozaimasu...

Now enough of that dookie. Ladies and (mostly) Gentlemen, I present to you:

The Obscenity Rap

Hit it

Uh, Uh, Uh, Oh Yeah. Mmmmm, Pump dat shit up!
Yo, Yo, Yo, Yo, Three Two One, Here We Go Unh-Unh!

Bitch dick ass, cock cuck cunt,
Here I go with my loony-ass stunt!
Shit piss slut jizz leprosy,
Yall fuckas can tell I be gettin' crazy.
I don't need hoes nor sex nor even smegma
To lay out sick rhymes to utterly destroy ya.
Be horse or cat or whizz or scat
This rap is where it's at
Cuz I'm aaaaaall that.

Though I will admit, and take the hit,
To say I'm not a genius when it comes to cunnilingus,
But that don't detract, the fact,
That the haters be dingus, and can all get down to suck my pingas.

Don't matter you be dissing or fisting, just stop resisting,
Cuz my depravity's ever-persisting.
No dope or blow gonna slow my flow,
Cuz I be illin' and chillin' and grillin' and frillin' and millin' and tillin' and grillin'.

Damn shit I already used that one,
Well anyway forget all that; it's on to the next segment.

Got authors playing it seriously,
Over fuckin' horse fics, you kidding me?
Try-Hards actin' so hard, their Haves and Have Nots,
Think they're hot shots, but they're only Dippin' Dots,
So drop that weak-ass lot and Begone, Thot!

It's the King M.C. of the highest degree. That's right, it be me, G!
The irreverent intelligent brilliant revenant of entertainment.
Gone today, back in a year,
With wit and prose to shook you up with fear.

But I made my point; gonna take a nap.
So let me turn it over to another mystical lyrical-ist of rap.

My peepos, give it up for The Rapping Sorcereeeeeeeeeeeer!!

What's up mortals, bet you're surprised,
To see this bad-ass float before your eyes.
Call me Sethron, since that's my name,
And laying out dope rhymes is my game.

I draw the sickest beats from darkest realms,
And I make prime time like my boy Ed Helms.
I get so much tail like you've never seen.
Whose you ask? Why the zebra's, I mean.

Their butts are the only things that match my tastes.
Anything else would just be an utter waste
Of my time, so let me tell it right:
I can't get erect unless it's black and white,
With slender legs that just won't quit,
And thick long tongues, yeah I'm about that... Uhm...

Aren't you going to stop me from continuing? That's, usually what happens when I get to this part.

Nah, man. This is the Obscenity Rap; you can say whatever fucked-up shit you want.

Ah... Well alright then!

So let's resume this debauchery
As I relate to you my fantasy.
Hey you in the back don't leave so fast.
Let me tell you the finer points of zebra ass.

Now it don't matter if they got a puss or schlong,
That's still a rear I'd ride all day long.
The swiftest booty in all the land,
It makes the perfect place to lay my hand.

So grab a zebra and don't hesitate,
Cuz we're getting down to fornicate.

Yeah, zebra sex rap!

Say, thanks for letting me get through a whole set. I never knew how good I'd feel in getting all that out uninterrupted.

No sweat, pal. And I really appreciate you for coming over.

But of course. Anyway, I should probably head back to Radical Soda and... get yelled at some more. *Sigh*, why do I even bother dreaming? (floats away)

Fin

Cancer Readings.......84%

Author's Note

Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?

Huge shout-out to RadicalSoda, the creator of the Rapping Sorcerer and all-around funny guy. I recommend watching his video on Radical Rex for the origin of our zebra-fixated wizard.