The Marine

There were several more days of dedicated hard work before Starlight's room was completed but it got done nonetheless. I furnished it with the bare essentials, bed, desk, light, fan, window, and a place to shit at night. The thing looked like an abomination from the outside but not a lot of people look at my house, Armor and Cadence had departed back to the Crystal Empire but Celestia and Luna were going to stick around for another day or so, I had no problem with that as long as they didn't bother me. I did as I usually did on days off when I don't have a project to do for some extra cash. I was sitting around reading, Starlight was just looking at me after I had assigned to her that every day she would write. 'I will not start a cult again' 1,000 times without using magic. Starlight dropped her pencil and tried to stare a hole through me. "Why am I doing this again?"

"To associate any and all thoughts or activities involving starting another cult with discomfort. Trust me you're getting off way easier than what people on my would be punished with."

"I just wanted everypony to be equal, is that so wrong?" She asked.

"The equality part, it's not that wrong. The way you went about it is, it got to such a point that I think Equestria itself labeled you as a threat and sent the girls to you." I turned a page in my book, "That's my working theory at least."

"What do you think would've happened if you hadn't insisted on coming?" Starlight asked.

"You would disappear to seek revenge only to end up being redeemed by Twilight. That's how this shit usually goes, I just cut through all the bullshit." I said.

"You have a very, rough way of looking at things and a very foul mouth." Starlight pointed out.

"Starlight, this isn't my world. I have to have some way to filter my immense anger, depression, and sadness or else I'd literally go insane." I put my book down. "If it weren't for the girls trying as hard as they could to get me to come out of this shitstain of a place I call home. I would most certainly be either in the dungeons or a mental institution."

"What about your journal?" Starlight asked. I mentioned it a couple of times, yet I never really elaborated on it.

"That helps, it keeps me sane. It at least gives me an outlet for all the bullshit that goes on in my life." I sighed, "Now keep going, I know you aren't finished writing."

"How do you know that?" Starlight asked.

"I kept count, you have a generally even pace when it comes to writing, I just count the words." I noted.

"Hmm, okay. I still don't understand why you're doing this for me." Starlight said out loud.

"Because believe it or not. I'm a good person, I don't want to see someone throw their lives away trying to get revenge for bullshit reasons. " I said as I closed my book and wrote in my journal. My handwriting was chicken scratch at best and unintelligible garbage at worst. I looked at my journal and sighed.

Starlight looked up. "What is it?"

"My handwriting, it sucks. I can barely tell what it is anymore." I flip back through my journal. "I remember writing it but now it looks terrible."

"Have you ever thought about getting a typewriter?" Starlight asked.

"I did, once. Then I realized that if it broke then I wouldn't be able to repair it, so then I'd have to a special repair shop so there's that." I said, "I'll just resign myself to trying to make my handwriting a little more legible."

"I could fix it for you, if it breaks." Starlight said, "I just need a few tools, they're not expensive. The major purchase is the typewriter itself."

"How the hell do you know how to fix a typewriter?" I asked her.

"I didn't build that town in a day, it took lots of bits to do so. I did odd jobs, built up some cash to buy that plot of land. So I was a librarian, a typewriter repairer, and mailmare to name just a few."

"Do you still charge rent on that plot of land?" I asked.

"No. I never did, I made money through agriculture. Wheat, grains, things of that nature, after we had taken what we needed. We then sold the surplus to neighboring villages. I may have been a cult leader but I always cared for those in my charge." Starlight commented while still writing. "I don't make money off the ponies in our town."

"I kept tabs on you." I looked at her and she looked up at me.

"H-How?" Starlight asked.

"I have a spy network. I pay people, former guards, some rouge changelings, people who want to do something than just sit still all day." I said.

"Why?" Starlight asked again.

"Because I'm a paranoid motherfucker, you ponies live in bliss day to day with no preparation for the future. The future is the only thing that's really unpredictable, and that leads to fear." I said.

"You're afraid of the future?" Starlight asked.

"Only thing that's truly unpredictable. So I try to predict it, I gather information about persons of interest which includes you, and several others. That way, if I ever confront them I'd at least have a plan." I sighed, "No plan survives first contact, they say that so much back in the movies in my world."

"Why keep tabs on me?" Starlight asked.

"No two cutie marks are ever the same well, at least statistically. There's Time Turner and Minuette both meaning two different things. I heard reports of mares and stallions with the same cutie mark by the hundreds. That was strange to me, so I had someone to change into a face to blend in, had them spy on you even during your most intimate moments." I said.

"WHAT?!" Starlight was pissed off now.

"Trust me, I didn't like it. But it brought to light who you really were, a cutie mark is almost like an identity. Once I learned what your cutie mark really was, I did some research into who you really were and discovered your past."

"That doesn't excuse your invasion of privacy." Starlight crossed her arms.

"Privacy is non-existent in espionage and war." I said.

"War?" Starlight still had some venom in her voice but now it was more concern.

"A marine's job is never over, whether on a battlefield or in life the only time we rest, is the last time we rest." I said solemnly.

Starlight paused. "You're afraid, aren't you?" She finally asked.

"Always, there's shit out there that I can't comprehend and it's far outside my realm of knowledge." I look out the window with my hand on my chin. "There are people here, who tower over me, and if it weren't for some anti-magic half cocked bullshit, I would have died a very long time ago."

Starlight looked at me, and into my eyes. "This is what keeps you safe, at least mentally."

"When in a strange land a marine falls back on what his inlaid basic instincts are." I said, with my eyes getting misty.

"You've never told the others, have you?" Starlight asked.

"No." I looked down, "In due time I'll tell them, or at least. I'll heavily hint at it."

"Why tell me then? I could've left, I could've told others. Knowing you have a spy network?" Starlight asked.

"To share the burden, and because you were a subject of interest, it'd only be fair to tell you." I said.

"So is this you telling me that you trust me?" Starlight asked.

"No, but I want you to start doing some recon for me as well. Which means, get a job. I'm not going to let you live here rent free." I said.

"What? You go from me being victimized by your so called spy network to wanting me to work for your spy network, and what would I even do?" Starlight said questioning my sudden shift in emotion.

"I know it's crazy, but I have to focus on a new objective. If I linger too long on one thing I might get trapped in a spiraling drought of depression and sadness." I said. "Seriously my sudden mood shift is actually very normal for me in hindsight. You can work at the Barnyard Bargains, Filthy Rich owes me a favor."

"You need therapy." Starlight said, "Also, does this 'favor' mean blackmail?"

"Don't all of them mean blackmail?" I asked.

"There's something, very deeply wrong with you." Starlight said, "What do you want me to do?"

"That easy to get you to spy on people?" I asked, "I thought I was going to have to coax you or blackmail you as well."

"The sitting here, doing foal like things is boring. I'm more than guessing you're just coming up with this off the top of your head." Starlight pointed out.

"You wouldn't be wrong." I said, "I need you to listen in on the gossip of these ponies around town. While it may just be random bullshit, listen to the people that they mention. They're usually not wrong about the subjects involved. Then I need you to compile a list."

"You're gonna blackmail the entire world." Starlight said.

"Something of that nature. More like, I'm gonna make a little black book. Well, I'm not gonna make it, you are."

"You're an incredibly smart man." Starlight commented. "I'd hate to see what would happen if you were against Equestria."

"I'd considered it, for a long time I did. I then thought about the potential of lives being lost, and most importantly if it would actually mean anything in the end. These villains in the world, including you at the time. Never looked at the endgame, and never considered interference, even from the most unlikeliest of sources. I have and I didn't want to be thrown in a dungeon, where the best view I have is the one where I can see a bucket full of my own shit in the corner of my mirror as I shave for my hanging."

"You've thought about this for a long while, that much is obvious." Starlight commented.

"I was angry, for a very long time. I didn't want to see hide nor hair of a pony as long as I lived in the Everfree, it was the one place where a pony would never willingly go. Then there was a day where I was just sitting around doing nothing but trying to drink myself to death. Unfortunately for me, my liver has seen hell and apparently loves the stuff. Somehow someway, this pony that barely knew me had gathered up the courage to actually leave me a letter after knocking on my door. It was from Fluttershy, I lived with her because I knew she wouldn't pester me with questions or try to purposely piss me off. I finished building my cabin and I left her place, but she left a letter taped to my door. When I sobered up I read it." I paused to catch my breath, "I remember what it said like it was yesterday."

Dear Mickey,

I know you weren't expecting this, in fact I think this would be the last thing you'd expect from me. I had to swallow my fears and wrote you this letter. I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you this face to face but I know how you feel about ponies, in fact I don't blame you for being upset you have every right to be. I wrote this letter for you because, I'm concerned for you, you stay in your house all day as far as I know and you're not very social. I know why you choose not to be social, but as the element of kindness I can't help but be a little concerned. In my nature or not anypony with enough common sense should know that this isn't health for you. I think you know it as well, I wrote this letter as to not try to get you to step outside your home, but to...well...I don't know. I know that you wouldn't want to see anypony to save your life, but you don't have to see us. If you could just please write me a letter letting me know that you're alright? I won't tell anyone else, even if you're not my friend I'm still worried.

With great concern, Fluttershy

"That's what got me started on this path, she gave me a little nudge to be a little introspective. I started off slowly, I just wrote her a letter and slid it under her door. That's why I favor her so much."

"Wow." Starlight was shocked.

"Yeah, so go get a job. I'll be here, contemplating on whether or not I should get a typewriter and publish my journal to make some money off it." I smirked.

"That's not a bad idea." Starlight said.

"Yeah right, the thought of people reading what I have to write is just as stupid as this world."