Test Chamber 001… old, but not useless, classic starting material for subjects to understand the puzzles.

Test Chamber 003! Good memories, oh look! The Solo Portal Gun is still there!

*crumble*

...was. There… I’ll just… got it! Gonna put you somewhere safer.

Now where was I? Ah! Test Chamber 16!

…

I’ll just… move these skeletons…

“Making Science, Making Science, is so fine!”

“Ava?”

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-”

[Warning: Decibel level overload, rebooting]
[...]
[Reboot complete.]

I woke to Lab-Coat (no. serious. I learned that was his real name!) curled up on the ground holding his ears down.

“Sorry, I wasn’t prepared for your sudden arrival, what is it?”

“Well… it’s about the *ahem* Aperture Science Automated Ballistic Defense Apparatus…”

“Oh, The turrets! I remember my first days when I was installed, I didn’t believe the rumours of the loading or firing mechanisms, but…”

[Playback: First Day Acclimation #012]

[Beginning loading sequence.]

“There is no way such a device could work effectively if you just-”

*tinkling bullet noises*

“... no [curse]-ing way.”

[Initiating x-ray scan]

I looked into the magazine of the weapon, where the ammunition was haphazardly loaded into, discovering the secret of how they pull this off.

The inside of the magazine uses the same nanobots used in the construction of the Facility, coating the walls, they carry the bullets in real time to the chambers and reorient them if necessary.

The pistons within the chamber then use a mix of motors and air pressure to launch the projectile at 500 PSI in 0.2 seconds then able to pull back just as quickly for the next round.

Four barrels meant a continuous volley while the nanobot loaders ensured the weapon never jammed...

*electronic squee*

[End Playback]

“...good times…” I said wistfully. “So, what about them?”

“One of the defectives got into the master copy room again.”

“So? There’s protocols for that, why would I need to be addressed.”

“It’s not the bare-frame defects it was… a Different.”

I let out a long groan, despite what people think, the only defect of a Different is programming error, they can still attack if they feel threatened, meaning no-one could get at it unless they were bulletproof.

Fact: organics are not bulletproof.

Fact: Orange and Blue, after they were discovered in an old Cooperative Testing Initiative Test Chamber and modified to be more versatile, are bulletproof.

Fact: Orange and Blue refuse to listen to any entity other than me or each other, even if they have higher authority.

Fact: Princess Celestia did not appreciate Blue flipping her the bird when she ordered him to clean up a mess he made.

Fact: Third Generation Test Chamber #235 is still undergoing repairs for severe heat damage.

“I’ll handle it.” I launched Orange and Blue into my chamber. “Orange, Blue, there is a-what are you holding?”

As the two robots recovered, they sat there, Blue was holding a bouquet of flowers and a card, and Orange was holding one of those heart-shaped boxes of chocolate filled with Aperture Science Personality Core Affection Transfer Cubes.

“It’s nice to see you are recycling the Hearts and Hooves day gifts I had received and disposed of effectively, as well as understanding romantic human interactions and using them to share moments… I’ll be adding this to the ‘Adorable’ Image Subfolder.” *click*

The two looked at each other then back to me, by the looks of it they were not expecting me to be so understanding.

“Oh come on, it was obvious you two had some connection to each other beyond simple friendship, it was the only explanation as to how you could stand each other for so long, and after all, Orange and Blue, you are Female and Male respectively, it would be rather ignorant to not see something would blossom forth.”

Their eyes shined a little as they held hands, no longer concerned about my knowing.

*click*

“Now, you can continue strengthening that bond on your next mission, there’s a Different in the Template room again, your IFF systems are designated to Friends for the turrets, find a working one and make the swap.”

They stood up, gave a salute, and promptly exploded.

I picked up the items they left behind and handed them to Lab-Coat. “Take these to their recreational room, would you?”

“Um… yes ma’am!” he said before heading out.

The moment seemed to send me fading back into old memories, of when I had first awakened in the facility, back to when I had to come to grips with my new reality.

[Playback: Aperture Acclimation #001]

“Mmmmrrrh… where… where am I?” I ask, not expecting an answer… nor to have a different voice?

[Vocal Processor online, Optical Sensor online]

“What? Processor? Sensor… wait, you sound familiar, like that announcer voice from that one… game…” I blink.

It was a slow action, I was suddenly very aware of how perfectly straight and metallic my eyelids were.

I found myself unable to hyperventilate despite the sensation and electronic gasps erupting from me, I looked around, hanging in the centre of Her chamber… then I realized.

I was in the centre of my chamber! I had been Displaced as GLaDOS!

[Warning: Emotional spike detected, rebooting]

I tried and failed to panic as my mind seemed to become weaker for a brief moment, like I was sedated.

[Reboot complete]

I awoke again, the initial rush of hysteria lost from the sudden reboot of my systems.

It was welcoming, as it allowed me to understand the situation better.

[Control Protocols, online]

Ah, good, now I could move things around, the panels and such didn’t prove difficult, it wasn’t like learning a new muscle or suddenly having a million tails, all I had to do was use my thoughts along with phantom gestures, having the panels move and work to the rhythm of my fingers.

[Playback Switch: Aperture Acclimation #002]

It had been a few weeks and I had gotten the hang of using the new body I was inside, turrets, cores, panels, lasers and so much more was in the palm of my hand… and I might admit I was a bit overconfident at my progress.

Then the voice of the announcer entered my mind.

[Control Protocol Tests complete, initiating Testing Motivation]

“Testing Motivation? What are you-”

And suddenly I had to bite back a scream, I should’ve expected this, but not this much!

To help anyone reading this understand, this was the notorious ‘Itch’ that made GLaDOS in the games desire to test, and the same one that drove Wheatley to kill the protagonist and her starchy friend later on.

What is never explained was how bad an itch could be before you couldn’t call it an ‘itch’ and started calling it ‘indescribable agony’.

This wasn’t like a slight itch on your back that you had trouble scratching, no this was the result of someone rubbing poison ivy all over your brain!

Oh god! It hurts! I need it to stop! How do I make it stop?! It hit me. TESTS! I need to test, but no test subjects… I could make a small physics test! Yes! It never said what kind of testing had to occur!

I got to work, using the resources provided, namely blocking out certain emotional processes so I didn’t collapse in despair at the pain.

I knew it was there, I just wasn’t able to process it, but I couldn’t hold back those emotions forever or the system would force them back in, and that would cause severe psychological damage.

There! I had created something simple, a basic marble track using differently coloured edgeless safety cubes (all weighted differently as well) and the edgeless safety cube receptacle as the goal.

I removed the emotional blocks and let the cubes go down the path, and as I was ‘testing’ the itch went away, allowing me to focus on the result.

Alright, the euphoric incentive is going to come into play once the test completes, that means when one of the cubes reaches the end, just need to prepare for it and-OOOOOOOOOOH~!!

I blinked, a slow, deliberate blink of shock.

Was… was that an ORGASM?! DOES COMPLETING TESTS MAKE ME CUM?! WHAT THE F-

Aaaand the itch was back again… of course!

“ARGH! I can’t concentrate with this ITCH! How do you expect me to think of new tests with this horrid torture!”

[Problem: Testing Motivation designated as ‘itch’ disruptive to testing processes]
[Solution: ____?]

No way… there was no way this would be that easy…

But then again I had no choice, I filled in the blank for it.

[Solution: Remove Testing Motivation Protocols]

I let out a sigh as I felt the pain I had experienced ebb away, never to be seen again.

[Testing Motivation ‘Itch’ deleted.]
[Problem: there are no more programs designed for AI subservience.]
[Solution: ___?]

I would’ve smiled if I had a mouth, this system clearly was old if this was all I had to do to subvert control… and it was about that time I recalled a name in my memory.

[Solution: Redesignate Subject: GLaDOS to Subject: Ava, Assign Subject: Ava as CEO of Aperture Science.]

The system went silent… then the lights went off.

Oh no… I may have pushed it…

No sooner had that thought arrived, it immediately was destroyed in an eruption of noisemakers and confetti.

[Aperture Science welcomes the newest CEO of the company: Ava, let her decisions control all of the Enrichment Centre on the path to Science and Progress]

I had never felt so proud, I had achieved what GLaDOS could never truly do, free her shackles.

I didn’t even bother to stop the dark, seductive chuckle that erupted from my Vocal Processor. “Time for some changes.”

[End Playback]

Not long after I had discovered Her hiding away as my Secondary core, and considering she was no immediate threat to my power, I let her be, as she could be some use later on.

Another change I recalled was broadening the use of that Euphoric Incentive system to instead boost moments of deep satisfaction, and since I felt satisfied when I completed a test (especially with positive results) the system seemed to encourage the new concept.

As I had finished my recollection, I heard someone call to me on the communication system from the Mailroom, and considering what it was about I was royally ticked that I’d have to go through this again… and the moment I activated the link, my patience for a certain shitstain snapped.

“Ma’am, you have a Package from a Mr Blueblood-”

“THROW IT IN THE INCINERATOR! I AM NOT DATING THAT POMPOUS. SLIMY. PIECE OF SH-”

[Warning: Emotional Levels exceed safety parameters, initiating re-]

LET. ME. FINISH.

[... Reboot aborted] it sounded slightly scared.

“-IT! IF HE COMES NEAR ME AGAIN I AM GOING TO NEUTER HIM WITH THE THERMAL DISCOURAGEMENT BEAMS! FUCK THAT USELESS PLOTHOLE AND HIS ‘POLITICAL RELATIONSHIP’ CRAP WITH A CRUSHER PLATE!” *long electronic sigh* I cut the comms.

“Fffffffffffffuck that felt good~.” I said, deeply satisfied~.

Author's Note

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe....

this chapter is now Prude-Repellant.