I observed the various cameras around the facility, I think it was time to be more direct in my interactions.

Let’s see… designs for Project 3 are still failing to meet standards…

The scientists are conducting experiments on the Aperture Science Zero-Point Energy Horn Levitation Amplifier.

A couple are currently fucking on the second office sublevel photocopier.

“I expect you to clean up your mess when you’ve finished, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to clean up another pony’s ‘activities’.” I commented over the intercom, causing them to panic and trip over each other.

Now let’s see, what else… Orange and Blue are on a date.

*click*

Now… oh! It seems a test subject is engaging in one of my courses… I’ve been waiting to do this.

I switched my Euphoria Centers from the ‘Satisfaction’ mode to the default ‘Test’ mode.

Aperture Test Subject #003 or, as his friends referred to him, QuickStep, was a strange Pegasus, he doesn’t use his wings to fly - he can but simply chooses not to - but instead has them assist in the movements of his well-toned and trained body, every jump of his used a single flap to increase his velocity and momentum, making him extremely more agile than any amount of arial control could accomplish, this athletic technique was seen as a benefit and put on the Testing Courses.

Neither he nor the scientists understood why these courses existed or what exactly they tested for using them, but the CEO simply said they were important and to leave it at that, so he did.

“Greetings Test Subject #003.” speaking of the CEO, she decided to call in through the intercom to him. “For this test I will be observing directly and giving commentary, if you look to your left you will see an Aperture Science Telepresence Observation monitor displaying my image, so you may observe me as well, thereby removing any discomforting thoughts of an invisible imposing presence watching over you.”

The Stallion looked from his spot at the start of the chamber to see the large screen move into the chamber, positioned so he could see her easily from wherever he was.

The test was referred to as ‘Advanced Aerial Faith Plates’, and the room showed, aside from a few platforms scattered about and a couple at the end of the room, the rest of the chamber had water, he knew from previous tests that touching the water means you would be disqualified, meaning you would be placed back at the beginning of a reset test and penalized by the one observing you for that test.

He did not want to know what sort of penalty the head of Aperture Science would dish out.

He took a breath, then leapt onto the first plate, launching himself into the air, he aligned himself to hit the next boots first. As he flew to the third he noticed it would lead to two panels slanted upward.

Without a Portal Device to use, QuickStep had to use other methods, he coiled up his legs as he launched, spinning counter-clockwise to adjust in the air and aim for the one on his left.

On impact he spread out his wings, he knew the Long-Fall Boots were going to absorb the impact, so instead on the impact he used the returning Kinetic energy to fling himself, the wing-flap giving just enough momentum to reach the fourth and final faith plate.

Though as he landed on the platform with the exit, he heard a noise.

“Nnh~!” it was… his eyes widened and looked to the monitor, seeing his employer’s 'excited' expression caused the fur on the back of his neck to stand on end, his dark sapphire coat giving way to a tempered shade of rose on his cheeks, she continued to keep that face until she saw him staring bug-eyed. “What? Continue with the test!” she said, and to his ears it sounded pleading.

He tried his best to ignore the clear hallucinations, and looked back to the two slanted panels, which were now replaced with new plates.

He hit the button.

“Oooh~!!” he felt a chill run up his spine that froze him, but he immediately got out of that shock when he saw the random pieces of inactive testing apparatus barrelling towards him.

As the items fell into the water, She chimed back in. “sorry, some of the tubes are still clogged with debris from the restoration.” she said almost innocently. “You’ll have to try and press the button again~.”

Still oblivious, but rather uncomfortable, he pressed the button again.

“Aaahhhnn~!” okay, that was CLEARLY a moan he heard!

The cube landed onto the platform he was on… then he noticed a button over on a further off platform.

“Keep going… almost there~..” she practically begged. “Finish the Test~...”

Now catching on, he simply wanted this awkward situation to be over and bucked the cube so it landed on the button, the door opening.

“ooOOoooooOoooooohhh~~...” her voice was shaky as the test was solved. “Good Job… proceed to the next chamber…” she purred out.

QuickStep walked out of the room to where there wasn’t any cameras that could see him.

Once there he slid down one of the walls, fighting several feelings as what just happened reappeared in his mind in full clarity.

He had just helped his boss get off.

If that wasn’t enough, he wasn’t upset about it, he had partly enjoyed…

...listening to her voice, it was deviously seductive… and hearing her moan…

He couldn’t remove his jumpsuit quick enough.

I had set my Euphoria system back to ‘Satisfaction’ and removed the monitor from the chamber.

Afterwards I let out a chuckle as I reviewed the recording of the test.

With his large friend up, I doubt he’ll be out of the elevator room anytime soon.

…

After pinging the janitorial staff to clean up the mess in that room in a couple of hours, I got a message.

[Alert: Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and the Elements are here]

“Hm? This is a surprise. I wonder what they could want.”

I opened the main chamber and let them step inside, as they walked in and gave a formal bow, I found myself Reminiscing again…

[Playback: Equestrian Encounter #002]

*bang*

“Stop…”

*bang*

“Please stop, it is very annoying…”

*bang*

“Luna, I think ‘Ava’ would prefer if you ceased hitting her.”

“We say thee nay! We will have our fill of confectionary delights!”

“I am not a Pinata…”

*bang*

“I said stop.”

“That’s exactly what a Pinata would say!”

“PINATAS DO NOT TALK!!”

“But thou art talking right now!”

“I AM NOT A PINATA!!”

*bang*

“RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!”

“LUNA!”

“Target Acquired.”

*gunfire*

[End Playback]

Oh. right. “Hello… Luna” I greeted with venom.

“Hello, Pinata.” she greeted back with a smirk.

“You know I still have several turrets on standby.” I glared at her until she relented.

“Fine, hello Ava.”

It was at that point that Celestia moved to take over the conversation. “We wanted to talk to you about a device in your possession, the… ASHPD?”

“Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device?”

“Right, when I sent the information on it to Twilight-” said egghead jumped in.

“Did you actually create a controlled tear in reality inside a specialised casing capable of producing traversable quantumly entangled wormholes?”

I gave an optic smirk. “Not personally, I didn’t create the designs, but I did manufacture the single colour portal device and dual portal device.”

“But I want to know how! I didn’t think the feat to even be possible and-”

“Well, how about I prove the device works?” I pull down documents on clipboards, along with several jumpsuits (designed to suit the wearer, I had this planned for a while) in front of each one. “The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device is only authorised to be used within Testing Courses, so these documents will authorise you to be certified volunteer Aperture Test Subjects.”

“Wait! Why are you giving two to us and my sister?!” Luna demanded as she noticed the two extra with sun and moon motif jumpsuits.

“You’re right Luna, I do not think you would make a good Test Subject.” she blinked, then glared at me.

“What dost thou mean to imply?”

“Well out of the two of you, it seems Cake is thinning, I know you’re seen as the little sister, but that is no reason to make yourself the wider sister either.”

Celestia, and in fact the other ponies in the room, had to stifle some giggles as they saw Luna’s blushing face. “Give me thine quill!” she said, snatching the writing utensil from one of my claws and signing the document. “Ha! What doth thou think of that?!”

“Mostly that my Reverse Psychology lessons were worth every bit.” I said as I lifted the clipboard out of the room and tossed the moon jumpsuit to her.

This time the more immature of the group (Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and surprisingly, Celestia) did not hold back their laughter at the Moon Princess’ look of surprise… then realization. “HEY!”

“Sorry, but your agreement is already in writing, you wouldn’t want to go back on your word, would you?”

She said nothing, proceeding to put her jumpsuit on in the corner, sulking to herself.

Later on, Celestia signed her own document, which I retrieved.

One by one the group had signed, Rarity for the chance to wear her fashionable uniform, Applejack to one-up Rainbow Dash, Rainbow for the same reason, Pinkie so she could get at the cake at the end of the tests despite no-one mentioning such (not going to question it, it’s worse than a paradox), Twilight being the one to test the device for herself in the first place, and Fluttershy giving into peer pressure despite no-one forcing her, I did my best to inform her of that but she said she wanted to be brave for her friends.

...I would make the tests easier on her.

[Test Subjects are not allowed to be coddled]

She could have a HEART ATTACK if we gave her the normal tests.

[Test Subjects are not-]

I will drop it… if you can look her in the eye and say to me honestly that you would be fine risking her death.

I looked to her as she finished putting on her jumpsuit, and prompted her cutest face to come forth.

[...]

That’s what I thought.

“Good, please proceed to the testing area, I will inform you when to begin.”

They left in their own unique ways as I proceeded to look into the storage area.

Now I just need a core to help monitor all the subsystems so I can focus on tormenting them.

This was going to be fun~.

Author's Note

finally! the moment you've all been waiting for! the actual Main 6 and Princesses!