Late in the evening, Seto Kaiba opened the door to his hotel suite, exhausted after a long day of playing card games. His little brother Mokuba was sitting on the bed, and a pile of plates and silverware was on the nightstand next to him. The rest of the suite was practically untouched.

"Mokuba! Why weren't you at the tournament today?" Kaiba said.

"I was going to go, Seto, but then I noticed that it was being televised, so I just ordered room service and watched it from here," Mokuba answered.

"Wait, Duelists Of All Worlds is being televised?" Kaiba asked.

"Yeah. Apparently card games get amazing ratings for whatever reason," Mokuba said.

"Hmm. I'm sure that's worth looking into, but I'm too tired to care right now. I'm going to bed, so don't stay up too late," Kaiba said.

"Don't worry, I won't," Mokuba said mischieviously.

The next morning, Seto and Mokuba Kaiba were woken up by a booming knock at their door. Seto opened the door, still half-asleep, and was greeted to the sight of an old man wearing denim overalls, his face obscured by a golden mask resembling two triangles stitched together at a point, a black cloth mask, and a cloth bandana emblazoned with the number '6'.

"Seto Kaiba! I, Mask the Rock, have come to challenge you to a duel!" the old man said.

"Sugoroku Moto? It's six in the morning," Kaiba responded groggily. "And what the hell are you wearing?"

"Okay, look Kaiba, if you're going to call me by name, at least call me by my English name, Solomon. It's a cool name, for cool people," Sugoroku said.

"No offense, Sugoroku, but when I think about what's 'cool', an old game shop owner who wears denim overalls doesn't exactly spring to mind," Kaiba said.

"So are we dueling or what?" Sugoroku asked.

"Sure, why not?" Kaiba answered.

Sugoroku Moto and Seto Kaiba stood on opposite sides of the suite, Duel Disks extended and attached firmly to their arms.

"So who's going first?" Seto Kaiba asked.

"I am!" Sugoroku declared.

"Okay then," Kaiba said.

Kaiba and Sugoroku each started the duel off with 8,000 Life Points.

"It's my turn!" Sugoroku drew a card. "I set two cards face down, and then I summon the Guardian Of The Temple in attack mode!"

A very bulky humanoid figure made of cobbled gray stone materialized in front of Sugoroku, bringing 2,200 Attack Points to bear.

"That ends my turn," Sugoroku said.

"It's my turn!" Kaiba drew a card and smirked. "Hmm, well isn't this a predicament? I have Polymerization in my hand, but only two of my Blue-Eyes White Dragons, so I can't summon the Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon,"

"Why are you telling me this?" Sugoroku asked.

"So that I can demonstrate the power of one of my cards," Kaiba slammed a card onto his Duel Disk. "I activate Twinkle Wish!"

At that moment, a yellow star with a face revealing a cheery disposition and wearing a blue nightcap materialized in front of Kaiba.

"Twinkle Wish is a spell card that allows me to draw a card of my choice from either my deck or my Graveyard and activate or summon it to the field if I so choose. I think you already know what's coming next," Kaiba flipped through his deck and pulled out a single card. Kaiba raised said card into the air before slamming it down onto his Duel Disk. "Come forth, Blue-Eyes White Dragon!"

A massive white dragon with blue eyes rose from the floor to stand in front of Kaiba with its 3,000 Attack Points as Twinkle Wish shattered into shards of light.

"Now I'll set one card face down, then I'll play Polymerization and use the other two Blue-Eyes in my hand to fusion summon Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon!"

Blue-Eyes began to glow and sprout two new heads on either side of its original head, and its Attack Points rose to 4,500. Once it finished its metamorphosis, it let out a mighty roar that nearly blew Sugoroku off of his feet.

"Hey, I believe there's a word for Twinkle Wish's effect. It's called cheating," Sugoroku said.

"Oh, put a sock in it, old man!" Kaiba snapped. "Blue-Eyes, lay waste to his Guardian Of The Temple now!"

Balls of white lightning began to pool in Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon's three maws, but Sugoroku just laughed and flipped over one of his face-down cards.

"It appears that you've activated my trap card, Kaiba," Sugoroku said. "The Trickster's Exchange. It's a trap card that swaps a monster's Attack Points with those of its attacker,"

Now Guardian Of The Temple had 4,500 Attack Points, and Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon had 2,200.

"Wait, what?! No!" Kaiba objected. As Blue-Eyes fired its bolts of white lightning, they just simply bounced off of Guardian Of The Temple and back to it, shattering it and dropping Kaiba's Life Points to 5,700. Kaiba recoiled in pure shock at what had just happened.

"A pretty good move if I do say so myself," Sugoroku said. Suddenly, Kaiba's pupils turned as blue as his irises and the duel became surrounded by moving shadows. Mokuba tried to call out for his brother, but his voice was blocked out by Kaiba's Shadow Game.

"Yes, that was a good move, Sugoroku," Kaiba said in a deadpan voice. "Unfortunately, that one shall be your last,"

"What the hell?" Sugoroku's eyes widened at the sudden changes. "What just happened, Kaiba?"

"Kaiba's no longer here. You really have no idea what you're dealing with here, do you?" Not-Kaiba said. Sugoroku groaned in response. "That's what I thought. I end my turn,"

"It's my turn!" Sugoroku drew a card. "I attack your Life Points directly with Guardian Of The Temple!"

Guardian Of The Temple's glowing yellow eyes opened as it lumbered towards Not-Kaiba. Not-Kaiba just chuckled and flipped over his face-down card.

"You've activated my trap card, Negate Attack," Guardian Of The Temple simply turned around and lumbered back to its original position on the field.

"Well, uhh, I guess that ends my turn then," Sugoroku said.

"Then it's my turn," Not-Kaiba drew a card. "First I'll play my Pot Of Greed magic card, allowing me to draw two more cards," Not-Kaiba drew two more cards.

"Pot of Greed?! That's one of the most powerful cards in all of Duel Monsters!" Sugoroku said.

"Next I'll play my Dragon Whelp's Egg magic card, allowing me to special summon Spike the Dragon Whelp in attack mode," Not-Kaiba said as Spike shimmered into existence in front of him with 1,500 Attack Points.

"Spike the Dragon Whelp?! He's one of the most powerful cards in all of Duel Monsters!" Sugoroku said.

"No, no he really isn't," Not-Kaiba said. "Now I'll sacrifice Spike the Dragon Whelp in order to tribute summon the real most powerful card in all of Duel Monsters, King Sombra,"

Spike barely had time to react as a cloud of darkness swallowed him. From that cloud of darkness trotted King Sombra with a shark-toothed grin and 5,000 Attack Points, flanked on both sides by two Crystal Ponies.

"King Sombra?! He's one of the weakest cards in all of Duel Monsters!" Sugoroku said.

"That's it, time to die," Not-Kaiba extended his hand towards Sugoroku. "Sombra, attack his Guardian Of The Temple, now!"

King Sombra was about to blast Guardian Of The Temple, but Sugoroku flipped over his other face-down card.

"You've activated my other trap card, Kaiba," Sugoroku said. "Booby Trap Arrows! I get to flip a coin, and if I call it right, I get to destroy any one monster on the field," In the center of the field, a massive coin shimmered into being. "I call heads!" The coin soared tumbling into the air, as if flipped by a giant invisible hand. When it fell back to Earth, it landed with its tails side face-up.

"Looks like you called wrong," Not-Kaiba smirked. "Now, where were we? Oh yes! Sombra, attack his Guardian Of The Temple!"

King Sombra blasted Guardian Of The Temple with a pure stream of black lightning from his horn, causing it to shatter and Sugoroku's Life Points to drop to 7,500. Sugoroku staggered back, clutching his heart.

"That ends my turn," Not-Kaiba said.

"It's my turn," Sugoroku drew a card. "I play my Valuable Artifact spell card, allowing me to special summon Ahuizotl and Caballeron in attack mode!"

Ahuizotl and Caballeron both shimmered into being, Ahuizotl with 4,000 Attack Points and Caballeron with 2,500 Attack Points.

"And now I realize that I didn't think this part through," Sugoroku said. "I guess I'll end my turn,"

"Hmm. Interesting. It's my turn," Not-Kaiba drew a card. "I play my Endless Staircase magic card. This allows me to add another Crystal Pony counter to Sombra and banish one of your monsters on the field like, say, Ahuizotl,"

Another Crystal Pony came from the cloud of darkness to stand by Sombra's side, raising his Attack Points to 6,000, as Ahuizotl shattered into shards of light and flew past Sugoroku's Graveyard.

"Now I know you're cheating," Sugoroku said.

"It's not cheating, it's just that these cards are absolutely broken," Not-Kaiba responded as he extended his hand again. "Sombra, lay waste to Caballeron!"

King Sombra charged up and fired another black lightning blast as Caballeron's legs quivered, shattering Caballeron and dropping Sugoroku's Life Points to 4,000 as it connected. Sugoroku fell onto his back from the blast's shockwave, groaning in pain.

"What's the matter? Can't keep up?" Not-Kaiba asked. "I believe your time's almost up, old man. I end my turn,"

Sugoroku struggled back onto his feet. "It's my turn! I draw!" Sugoroku drew a card. "Umm...well this is awkward. I don't have any monsters to summon or trap cards to set. So I suppose this is the end of my turn,"

Not-Kaiba laughed manaically. "How pathetic. My turn!" Not-Kaiba drew a card and extended his hand towards Sugoroku once more. "Sombra, annihilate this old fool and show him our true power!"

Sombra shot forth another bolt of black lightning, this time aimed directly at Sugoroku's heart, as Not-Kaiba's eyes went from white with blue irises to green with scarlet irises and purple flame burning from his tear ducts. The bolt sent Sugoroku flying into the darkness surrounding the field, eyes widened in shock as his Life Points plummeted to 0. The darkness then cleared up, leaving Mokuba to stare, mouth agape, at what his brother Seto had become. On the floor, where Sugoroku had once been, now laid a Duel Monsters card, with Sugoroku himself nowhere to be seen.

Not-Kaiba turned towards Mokuba. "What are you looking at?" Mokuba began to cry as he bolted out of the room, taking Sugoroku's card with him as he ran.

As Mokuba closed the door to the room, Kaiba's eyes turned completely back to normal, and he stared at the the now empty suite. "Mokuba? Where are you? ...Mokuba?"

Author's Note

*insert joke about terrible upload schedule here*