"And may your nights forever be peaceful, Ponyville!"

Princess Luna finished her speech to gratuitous applause. Smiling broad and waving to the cheering audience, she gracefully turned hoof and stepped backstage. With a content sigh, she began her walk to the 'green room', past stagehoofs and crew members. Coming upon the door, she pushed it open with a hoof. Stepping inside, she sighted her personal guard over near a small folding table, perusing a plethora of snacks set atop it. Her ears perked up at the sight, and her smile grew along with a slight tinge of red in her cheeks. With a slight flutter of her wings, she hurried over to where he stood. He turned towards the sound of her hoofsteps, grinning as he caught her eye.

"Hey Luna! Amazing speech tonight, you did wonderfully." Said Rick Kovoso, her guard and close friend.

"Pish posh! We did average."

He chuckled at her words.

"No, really. You were excellent. And that's final, you silly pony." He said, booping her on the nose.

"Oh, whatever." She said, sticking her tongue out at him. Luna had an interesting relationship with Rick, more so than most personal guards. The circumstances were a bit strange, as when he earned the position he and Luna had already been close friends for quite a while. As such, the two were constantly seen around the castle pulling pranks on some poor maid or Solar Guard, and in public he was never away from her side.

But Rick's job description was not to play around with the Princess of the night. That was simply a benefit. No, Rick was a bona fide badass. Or so he calls himself. He was, as previously mentioned, Luna's personal guard, which is not a position granted easily. Hand picked from the top of the top by Luna herself, being her personal guard was quite the honor, and also took a lot of work to achieve. Rick, however, was a bit different. After he and his squad car showed up in the middle of the Everfree, there was quite the commotion as he drove a white Chevy Tahoe with Sheriff written on its sides and a light bar on top into the smack dab center of Ponyville.

Oh by the way, Rick is Human. The only known in Equestria.

So one could say he's kind of a big deal.

After the initial confusion and hordes of angry, scared ponies were subverted, Rick and his vehicle were taken to Canterlot, where he would go before the princesses and his fate would be decided. A lengthy "trial" ensued, with many nobles present calling him a monster, a freak, and worse, but eventually he was able to make his case, explaining that he had no idea how he got here and was just as confused as the rest of them. The Princesses decreed that Rick would be kept alive and given a small room in the palace, for now. His vehicle would be placed into magical storage, but he could move his meager equipment from it to his room.

The nobility of Canterlot were less than thrilled at this development. To them, he was a threat to their culture and their status. Much like the Parisians of Earth, change was not a welcome concept among them. So much so that on the third night of his stay, they attempted to murder him.

Which was a rather poor choice for them, because Rick was not only a Sheriff's deputy, but also a senior member of his office's S.W.A.T Team. He practiced several martial arts, and had numerous years of dealing with riled up suspects and gangbangers.

In short, he knew his way around a fight. So after 4 comparatively feeble ponies of the nobility came into his room, not even bothering to send others to do their dirty work, and rudely attempted to drag him from his bed, there were some... unforeseen consequences.

4 beat-up ponies later, he was once again in front of the Princesses, patiently explaining why there were 4 ponies of the Equestrian nobility in the infirmary while he was practically untouched. Thankfully, Princess Luna had taken quite a liking to him. Once again stating his reasons, the story was confirmed by a Lunar Guard who was patrolling the hallways when he found 4 ponies in dark cloaks hurriedly making their way to the guest wing. Intrigued, he followed, and witnessed the fight that ensued.

The Princesses were not pleased. All 4 nobles were stripped of their status, thrown in jail, and an announcement was made that similar attempts would not be tolerated.

Princess Luna, captivated by this human and his antics, invited Rick to stay with her. He jumped at the opportunity, and thus his friendship with Luna began. Many other ponies of the general populace were over their initial fears, thanks to an royal announcement, and excited to see the new creature. There was much elation when he attended the Grand Galloping Gala with Princess Luna that December, finally revealing himself. The ponies were thrilled to have someone completely new in Equestria, and he made many important friends.

And yet, the nobility still hated him. Not his problem. He's friends with the Lunar Diarch, what the fuck are nobles going to do about that?

Either way, Rick had made an entrance, and he was accepted into Equestrian society with aplomb.

But a new problem came up: He needed a job.

After several months of bouncing between the odd job here and there, Rick was still unable to find a steady source of income. Not like he needed it, living with a Princess, but he did(much to Luna's disheartenment) plan on moving out at some point. So, the search continued.

Until Luna brought up that her personal guard was retiring and she was planning a new selection course.

Rick was instantly intrigued.

Casually bringing up pay and benefits in conversation, he was delighted to discover the very large wage that being her personal guard would pay. Six figures, and the pony version of a 401k and dental. Very agreeable. Not to mention the challenge!

And thus, the grueling selection process began. Hundreds of ponies, griffons and others of varying backgrounds turned up, but the standard was set high. It was not changed depending on physical fitness or status. No matter who you were, where you came from or what you did with your life, you had to pass the same test. Many of the ponies who were there were turned away, and by the end of the 9 hour day of testing only 20 of the best remained. The next tests were mental, with each candidate being evaluated on psychological fitness as well. Another 10 were kicked. The final 10 were the best of the best, and the last round of testing began. Each were interviewed by Luna herself, a scary prospect in of itself, and finally, they reached the final test. A mock-up scenario, in which they were to protect the Princess in a real-world situation. Each was different, completely random, and could end in any way conceivable. The candidate was given varying amounts of intel on the location and could prepare and equip in any way they thought would benefit the safety of the princess. The test could last anywhere from 1 hour to 3 days.

As stated before, Luna's personal guard was not a position granted easily.

In the end, a mere 3 candidates were left. A thestral, unicorn, and Rick.

Soon, one of them would be chosen.

Tensions were high.

However, because there were three of them, Luna set up something a bit different. The three were to spar with each other until there was only one left standing. Anything short of lethal injury was allowed.

The belief was that the Unicorn, Steel Strike, would win, as his magic gave him an advantage. However, when in the ring, it was quickly discovered that Magic had a significantly subdued effect on Rick, making the strongest combative spells merely a push to the man, and the strongest shields akin to thin paper. Steel Strike may have been a master magic user, but when faced with a experienced martial artist and hardened street cop, he quickly faltered and was knocked unconscious by Rick. The thestral, a stallion by name of Ace Fury, put up a valiant fight, but ended up unconscious as well. Rick was the last standing, and thus, earned the position of Princess Luna's personal guard.

The other two were sent home with congratulations on making it to the final test, and sour moods.

But only the best of the best could be Luna's personal guard.

Back in the present, Rick checked his watch. The G-Shock read 22:00. Luna was over schmoozing a few important Ponyville ponies, Rarity, Twilight and Fluttershy, and having a jolly old time. Rick wanted her back at the hotel in about an hour, and the walk there was about 30 minutes. He set a timer on the watch for 10 minutes, then they would begin the walk. Meandering over to where she stood, he listened in on their conversation.

"..And I am working on this new dress for Twilight that is simply to die for!"

"It's true, it is quite amazing. Rarity is an excellent seamstress." said Twilight.

Rarity blushed. "I-I'm alright, I suppose."

Fluttershy spoke up. "No, Rarity, your work is truly great. Every time I put on one of your dresses, I feel full of confidence. I-If that's okay.."

"Why, thank you Fluttershy darling, but you must know that you are always gorgeous, no matter what anypony else says."

Fluttershy blushed. "T-thank you, Rarity. You're very k-kind." She meekly hid behind her mane. Rarity smiled broad, and the three of them continued their chat. Rick sighed happily, shifting next to Luna and lazily placing a hand on her back. She smiled warmly at the contact, leaning into him as be began to rub her back. The other three snickered.

"Luna and Ri-ick, sittin in a tree..." Twilight singsonged.

"Fuck you, Purp," Rick said, flipping her the bird with his free hand while Luna blushed violently.

"Good lord, Richard, no need to be so vulgar," Rarity chastised. "Especially not to a princess."

Rick raised an eyebrow. "You do know what I do for a living, yeah?"

"Well, yes, but th-"

"Then kindly keep that pretty mouth of yours closed," Rick interrupted, flashing a pleasant smile. "When you know as much about Krav Maga as I do about embroidery, you can tell me how to live my life."

Rarity puffed up, annoyed. "Why you-"

"Let's not have a fight, please," Fluttershy meekly said.

"Yes, we are not sure if Miss Rarity could handle a fight, she may smear her makeup! Oh, the horror!" Luna added, giggling hysterically and comedically fainting. Rarity was embarrassed, sitting down and burying her face in her hoofs.

"Oh, chill out Marshmallow, I'm just poking fun," Rick said, ruffling her perfect mane. "You know I don't mean it." He smiled warmly.

Rarity looked up at him, adorable round eyes wide, before smiling herself.

"Thanks, dear. But even so..." She hit Rick in the peroneal nerve on his thigh. "That's for being, as you so say, a 'dick'." She smiled smugly, crossing her hoofs in front of her, regal style.

"Ow.." Rick said, rubbing his thigh.

Luna leaned over and whispered in his ear, "You kind of deserved that."

"I know, I know. And you were just as bad as I!" Rick whispered back, fiercely.

Luna giggled. "But we get away with it, because we are a princess."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Fluttershy, who'd been watching the whole exchange, spoke up quietly. "You guys sure are mean to each other..."

"It's just teasing, Fluttershy. Strengthens bonds." Stated Twilight. "I've read a lot about how teasing is actually very useful in certain situations. In fact there was this one study..." Twilight rambled on.

"Okay, Twilight, we get the idea." Rarity said, exasperated.

"But there's so much to lea-"

"Twilight, I don't remember you being the Princess of Knowledge, so zip it." Rick said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Her ears flattened. "Okay..." she said, sadly pawing the ground.

Rick reached over and booped her, causing her to look up in mild annoyance. "What was that for?"

"Fun and profit, obviously." Rick replied, grinning.

Twilight was about to construct a suitably saucy response when someone coughed politely behind her. Peering over her, Rick said, "Can I help you, miss?"

Standing behind Twilight was a grey pegasus mare with saddlebags covering her cutie marks, dark blue eyes and a black mane. She eyed the group warily.

"Uh, yeah, can you tell me where the bathroom is?" She asked, shifting her weight from hoof to hoof.

"Down that hall, 3rd door on the right." Rick said, pointing.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

The mare wandered that way, carefully keeping herself away from the other ponies chatting and cleaning around the backstage.

Odd. Rick thought. Shrugging, he reinserted himself into the conversation, something about the nuances of Hearth's Warming. But no matter how he tried, he couldn't get the strange mare out of his mind.

About that time, his watch went off, snapping him out of this thoughts. He politely informed the group that he and Luna would be returning to their hotel. Bidding them farewell and giving hugs, they made their way towards the back door. Passing groups congratulated Luna on her speech. Finally, they were at the door. Luna saw Rick make the change between 'jolly and friendly' to 'guarded and dangerous'. Rick carefully opened the door, a hand holding her back, and checked around the exterior before waving her out. She stepped out and Rick was then at her side, where his eyes scanned the surroundings for any danger. One hand remained on her back, and the other down at his side, ready for action at any time. The two had practiced this hundreds of times, in many different scenarios. They had a special set of words and motions to cover a whole slew of situations, and each had a prescribed response.

In short, the two worked as a team. Although Rick was Luna's guard, she still knew how to defend herself and would not be seen cowering in fear should the shit hit the fan.

Rick protected Luna, and in turn she protected Rick.

It's a very interesting dynamic.

The two casually strolled through the dark streets of Ponyville, lit by streetlights. Luna breathed in the fresh air, enjoying the brisk nighttime walk. Rick, although still on guard, was also enjoying himself. The cobblestones beneath his feet, the beautiful stars, the moon, and the beautiful mare next to him.

"It sure is a beautiful night, Luna." He said, smiling warmly.

"Thank you, Rick. We appreciate your appreciation." She replied, leaning against him as they walked. They came to a 'y' in the road.

"So, you think Rarity took our teasing a little to ha-"

Rick abruptly stopped walking and talking, causing Luna to stop and look up at him in confusion. His eyes were fixed dead ahead, and his mouth was clenched tightly. He tapped her side twice.

That signal meant that something suspicious was coming their way, but they weren't in direct danger. Her attitude changed and she looked behind them.

"Four, pony, dark cloaks. Coming from left fork. Moving our way with a purpose. Eighty meters and closing. Spreading out, look like they mean business." Rick said.

"Course of action?" asked Luna.

"We go down the right fork. Keep an eye on our backs. If they follow, we stand ground. If not, we ignore. Clear?"

"Clear."

With that, the pair took the right fork and moved quickly, Luna occasionally looking over their backs and Rick scanning the front.

"Looks clear," Luna said. "Maybe they were going somewhere else."

"Maybe. Lets not take chances, though. We're taking a shortcut to the hotel."

"Got it."

Closing the door to their room and throwing the deadbolt, Rick exhaled heavily, relaxing.

"Who knew that four guys in cloaks could scare me so badly, eh?"

Luna sat down on her bed. "Agreed. This town is full of surprises."

"No kidding." Rick put his back to the door and slid down, exhausted. Reaching up to his neck, he untied his dark purple tie, the half-Windsor coming undone easily, being reverted to simply cloth around his neck. Pulling it off, he set it aside and unbuttoned his suit coat, pulling the tailored jacket off and revealing his white cotton dress shirt. His belt not only held his comfortable slacks up, but also kept a holstered Glock 23, a set of handcuffs, a Maglite flashlight, and two extra .40 S&W magazines aloft at his waist. Begrudgingly getting to his feet, he took his belongings past Luna, and into his room. The suite they were provided with was simple, but luxurious. Located on the top floor of the new Halter Hotel, it included two separate rooms and bathrooms, and a connecting kitchenette with a minibar. High quality woodwork on the furniture, and very soft beds completed the deal. Dumping his coat and tie on his bed, he began stripping equipment off his belt, and placing it on the small table near the window. His clothes went into a pile in the far corner, and soon he was in nothing but boxers and socks. Rick was in very good shape, the result of an active lifestyle and a healthy diet. As there was little meat(He knew of a very good griffon restaurant in Canterlot that served a killer steak, though), he ate far more greens and plant based protein, and as a result had very defined muscles and just enough body fat to keep himself warm. His 6'2 form was almost too tall for the buildings he frequently found himself in, but fortunately he fit. Sandy blonde hair cut short covered his head, and his Slavic features and bright blue eyes were frequently broken up in a good laugh. At the ripe young age of 25, his face was tanned from spending time in the sun. Being a third generation immigrant, he spoke unaccented English, but could also speak fluent Russian and a little bit of Spanish. Walking over to his luggage, he selected a pair of sweatpants with Luna's cutie mark on them(A gift from Celestia, she had a weird sense of humor) and pulled them on. Turning around, he spotted Luna standing in the entranceway, gazing at him with very inquisitive eyes. Smiling slightly, he struck up a ridiculous bodybuilder pose, flexing his biceps and kissing one.

"Enjoying the view?" He asked, an amused expression evident.

Luna snapped out of her daze, blushing heavily and looking away.

"W-we were not eyeing your, um, impressive musculature..."

Rick grinned wide, a idea forming in his head. "If you're on your best behavior, I'll let you touch them."

Luna was quiet, before very quietly saying,

"We would like that very much."

"What was that?" Rick said, his grin growing.

"We... we would li-like that very mu-much.." she said, turning redder. You could boil water on those cheeks.

"Oh? Well what are you gonna do for me, then? I did say best behavior, yes?"

Her expression changed, looking at Rick with the universal 'really?' look.

"Do not think that I have not noticed those subtle looks you have been taking at my backside," She stated flatly.

Rick's grin vanished. Oh shit! he thought. I'm fuckedimfuckedimfucked....

Luna slowly smirked, and said, "Not that that's a problem..."

His mind ground to a screeching halt.

What?

He was very confused, clearly, and it showed in his expression.

"Hello? Equestria to Rick, are you there?" Luna asked, chuckling.

"But I... But I thought you didn't..."

"'Like you in that way', as the kids say these days? Oh, Rick, you have been quite ignorant during our time together."

Rick had no idea what ponies did when they were flirting, so it was no wonder he hadn't noticed. He wanted to say something saucy, but what came out was "Uhhhhhhm,"

Luna giggled wildly, putting a hoof to her mouth in an attempt to stifle the laughter but ended up losing it. Rick finally shook off his daze and began cracking up as well. After the good bout of laughter, the two were still across the room from each other. Rick yawned loudly and flopped onto his bed unceremoniously, still exhausted from the day. Luna came over to the foot of the bed and stared at him, determined to get him to let her up there with him. He looked down at her, and with barely contained laughter said, "No girls allowed."

She rolled her eyes, sighing loudly.

"Seriously?" She said, annoyed.

"Nah, hop on up here. There's plenty of room." He said, patting next to him.

Luna smiled wide, excited, before extending her wings and giving a good flap, bringing herself onto the soft bed. She laid down next to Rick, placing her head in his lap, and looked up at him with adorable eyes.

"Aw, who could say no to that.." He began softly stroking her head, between her ears. She let out a content sigh, her wings fluttering out to the sides.

She felt him remove his hand from her head, and was about to make a fuss when she felt a hand stroke down a wing. She shuddered, letting out a very loud moan.

"Oh shit, that's like a pony no-no zone? My bad!" Rick hastily removed his hands, returning one to her head. Professional guard, ladies and gents.

Luna internally groaned at the loss of contact, but sleepily said,

"Next time warn us, you scoundrel"

"Alright, alright." Rick sighed happily, scritching behind her ears. "So are we like a thing now or...?"

She looked up at him. "Do you want us to be a 'thing', Rick?"

His brow furrowed in thought. In his year or so of being here, he had thought frequently about starting a relationship with a pony. At first he had thought it taboo, and a small part of his mind still thought that way, but as he looked deeper into it, he came to a conclusion.

Although ponies may look like the horses of his home, they aren't animals. Each is a intelligent being with thoughts and emotions. Not dumb beasts that act solely on impulse and instinct. Starting a relationship wouldn't be bestiality. It'd just be love.

Not to mention the fact that Rick really did like Luna, and had been thinking about a way to ask her on a date. Well, fuck it, let's just jump in head-first.

"I would be delighted." Rick said, smiling down at her.

Luna happily cooed, warmly smiling.

"But," he said, placing a finger on her nose, "I will first and foremost be your guard, and I won't let our relationship interfere." He lightly booped her, earning a giggle from the Lunar princess.

"Of course, we would expect nothing less from you."

"Good. Now that that's out of the way, lets get some well earned sleep, eh? I assume you'll be sleeping with me."

"Yes, our sleep schedule has been all over the place recently, with these speeches and all these festivities. At least the ponies are taking a liking to us."

"No kidding."

Rick pulled back the covers of the bed and slipped under, Luna following suit. She may have been the Princess of the Night, but she had been up all day enjoying the town of Ponyville. Even she needs sleep.

"So, uh, big spoon or little spoon?" Rick asked, blushing slightly.

Giggling, Luna said, "Little. It has been a long time since we've had a stalli-man that is larger than we are, and we fully intend to take advantage of that."

Luna rolled over, allowing Rick to wrap his arms around her barrel. She cooed, snuggling up against his body, her ethereal tail wrapping around one of his legs. Rick happily hummed, a free hand stroking her mane as he closed his eyes.

"Goodnight, Moonbutt."

"Goodnight, my silly human."

With that, the two drifted off to a comfortable slumber.

The grey mare carefully hovered outside the window, watching Rick and Luna snuggle up together and turn out the lights. After carefully following from afar, she had been watching the two ever since they left the town hall. She debated entering now and completing her contract, but figured that the room would likely have all kinds of wards and spells placed on it to prevent forced entry like that. Not to mention that human. Sighing in frustration, she turned and glided back to the street, alighting on the cobblestone and walking into the hotel. The spacious lobby was empty at this hour, save for one unicorn at the reception desk. The mare walked over, gaining the receptionist's attention.

"Can I help you, miss?" She asked, smiling.

"Yeah, I'd like a room for the night." The grey mare said.

"Certainly! Suite or regular room?"

"Regular should be fine."

"That'll be 20 bits, please."

Pulling out her bit bag, the pegasus took out a 20 bit coin and set it on the counter. The unicorn grabbed it with her magic, opening a register and placing it there. She then levitated a key to the counter and set it in front of the pegasus.

"Room 49, 4th floor. Enjoy your stay!"

"Thanks." The pegasus took the key in her mouth and made her way to the stairwell, ascending. The Halter hotel was quite large, and many pieces of art lined the walls. She admired several of them, enjoying the walk to her room. Arriving, the pegasus opened the door and stepped inside, closing and locking it. There was a small kitchenette to the immediate right, a bathroom on the left, and further in was the bed and a small table. Taking off her saddlebags, she set them on the bed. Her cutie mark depicted four feathers and a dagger, and her name was Light Step. Currently, she was on a job, and a ludicrous one at that. Four million bits. But the job definitely wasn't easy for the hitmare.

What was it, exactly?

Simple.

Assassinate Princess Luna.

Light Step carefully removed the customized crossbow from her bag, unfolding the limbs and locking them in place. Making sure the safety was still on, she gave the weapon a once-over before placing it on the table. Running a hoof through her mane, she exhaled heavily, thinking of what she was going to do. She knew that even without a guard Princess Luna was a formidable opponent, and with her guard it would be suicide to take them on in open combat. So she elected to take a shot from afar, hopefully catching the princess off-guard, and hopefully avoiding confrontation with the human.

She had heard stories of his combative prowess, and did not want to see if the rumors were true.

Standing up, she pulled the crossbow bolts from her bag, looking them over. Known as 'Spell-eater' bolts, they were illegal outside of the military, as they were designed to defeat shields and ignore magical influence. She managed to get ahold of hers via a black market contact. Completing her check, she returned them to her bag and hopped onto the bed. Curling up in the middle, Light Step closed her eyes, letting the sandman take her to a dreamless sleep.

Author's Note

Boy, do I love a lack of an editor. If there's continuity errors, grammar issues or other, please point them out.