Respawn?

“I’m seriously going to ask why he even cares such an asshole is dead. Literally, guy basically made one of his own subjects invade Equestrian soil for a home.” I said as Smog was flying towards us.

William was waiting impatiently, “You know I’m just going to order Rumble to die, right?”

I shrugged, “I’m keeping my tactic a surprise, but just know, it’s going to be epic.”

Right then, Bright Mind, thankfully fully dressed this time, ran out of the house with a duffel bag packed full of what looked to be cooking supplies, “I’m coming with you!” I shrugged, and William also shrugged.

“Cool, as long as you have all your shit together, I’m sure Smog won’t mind carrying one more.” William said.

I nod bashfully, still thinking about Bright Mind’s… proposition. “Y-yeah. Oh, and stay near me, okay? Last thing we need is an absent minded Dragon stepping on you.”

She nodded and winked suggestively, “I’ll make sure to do that then.”

God damn it Smog HURRY UP!

“I kinda want to see Smog’s reaction to me being a pony, but eh.” William said. He cast an illusion over himself that made him look like he had yesterday, before the poison joke. A circular insect that I remembered William telling me about called a ‘parasprite’ was visible fluttering down the road. I lifted the ground around it into the shape of a predator’s maw and had it snap closed around the insect. According to William, if they ate anything at all, they would reproduce asexually, and slowly overrun entire towns. Reminded me of locusts, to tell you the truth, other than the asexual reproduction bit.

Smog landed on the ground in front of our house, shaking the ground with his considerable bulk. He held out a claw, laying it flat on the ground, and we clambered onto it. He raised us up, and deposited us on his back, “Hang on to my spines, at least while we’re taking off!” Noticing that we had secured ourselves, he took off. With each stroke of his wings, he covered more ground. If I had to guess, I’d say we were going at a hundred and fifty miles an hour, and we were still accelerating.

When we were over the volcanic area to the south of Equestria, a rainbow shockwave swept over the land. It passed over our heads, but hit Yog’rizzicth in the face, who neither William or I had noticed. “Tastes fruity,” he said, his mask grinning.

I looked to Yog’rizzicth, and frowned, “Jesus fuck, are you okay, man? That looked painful.”

Yog’rizzicth shook his head, “Nah, partner, I’m fine! Also, just call me Yog. Easier to say fast.”

I nodded as we reached the volcanic mountain that the dragons were supposed to be migrating to, and Smog began descending towards its base. “Lord Torch set up an arena for you.” he said as he made a beeline to what seemed to be a large cage formed from the very earth. We landed outside, and a dark teal dragon about thrice the size of Smog with very large, curved horns on the side of his head. The area around the arena only had a few dragons, it seemed that only those close to Grumble had come.

The huge dragon, presumably Dragon Lord Torch, frowned at us “So you are the ones who slayed Grumble. And you!” he said, pointing at William, “I can tell you are a pony, so dispel the illusion.” William shrugged, dispelling the illusion, revealing his still pony self. He then looked us over, “I do not see how you were capable of killing Grumble. Would you care to elaborate? Or did Smog deceive me, and it was him who committed this deed?”

I shrugged, “We were stronger, and we are more used to killing.” The dragons gathered growled angrily, as if they were offended by what I had said, instead of backing down like they intended, I growled back. “Hey! I don’t see any of you down here! If you are so great, come down here and fight us! Oh, wait, no, only his grieving wife and son decided to nut up and do so! SO SHUT YOUR SORRY TRAPS!”

They growled with even greater anger, but were stopped by an angry glance by Lord Torch. “You have come to me to have them tested by combat, as is our way. You shall NOT break our sacred traditions!” He then looked to William and smiled, “Now, equine, you fight Rumble, the odd creature and the mixed blood watch before the odd one goes next.”

“Aight.” William responded simply, teleporting into the arena as we walked to the outside edge of the cage to watch. A large male dragon, who I assumed was Rumble, stepped into the arena from the other side. He was about two thirds the size of Grumble, so about eighty to eighty five feet tall, with scales of red and orange.

“I’ll get revenge on you for murdering my father!” he shouted as he jumped at William. William teleported into the air above him, uttering a single word. “Die,” at this, Rumble tensed up, before his entire body relaxed, collapsing dead to the floor. Torch seemed rather surprised at the display, announcing William as the winner.

When William left, I walked in to find a large purple scaled dragoness who seemed to be radiating pure grief and rage, she looked to me hatefully before breathing a blazing inferno my way. “You will be held responsible for murdering my love, and my child! I will never let you leave this arena!”

I frowned as I let the flames wash against me harmlessly, as I focused on the mountain by us with my powers, finding that it was a massive volcano, to which I praised my good luck. “Now look, I can tell you are mourning, that’s natural, but fighting me? That’s suicide. Why don’t you let someone else fight? I don’t feel like making that runt I saw running from the cave an orphan.”

She tensed and growled at me before launching a tail whip my way, “How dare you call my Garble a runt! He is better than you ever will be!”

I sighed as I easily stopped it in my hand, letting my power take hold of the volcano. “One last chance lady.”

She shouted in rage, “NEVER! YOU TOOK MY REASON TO LIVE ALREADY!”

I then used my other hand to grab her tail and spun her around before throwing her at the far wall before I took control of the volcano, forming it into a massive humanoid shape as it lifted up the cage and grabbed her, before crushing her in its hand and covering it in lava, which I willed solid. I was staring at it and decided to make a show, by leaping towards it and forming it back into its volcano shape, to which I smiled at the other dragons, “Anyone else wanna fight?”

Bright Mind was staring at me in shock, unable to say anything as I grinned with uncertainty. ‘Oh shit, did I scare her? While that would make dating Celestia easier, I also really liked her… what if-’

“THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!” She said as she ran at me and wrapped me up in her arms. “How did you even do that?!”

Torch looked to the other Dragons, who were grumbling angrily, “While I am interested as well, I must ask that you come here first, the second part of both of your trials is at hand.” William and I approached as was demanded of us, and Torch held out a small scepter between one of his talons and his thumb. I felt power radiating from the scepter, and a beam of red shot out of the jewel on the end of it. It washed over us, and I suddenly felt an extremely itchy sensation all over my body. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the discomfort, and when I opened them, I was at eye level with Torch, which, judging from the look on his face, along with the other dragons around us, was not expected.

It seemed that I was the same crimson color that I had been as a pony, but my scales were so shiny they were nearly incandescent. I looked over to William, who had a claw between Bright Mind and myself, was a chalky bone white, with the same color spines as his mane had been. Upon seeing that we were both still alive after the transformation, he hit us with another red beam, reverting us back to our normal forms, though William was still a pony. It also left us with wings, so I could see William being mistaken for an alicorn, so that might be hilarious.

I looked to them and instinctively knew how to move them, to which I gave an experimental flap.

...

JESUS FUCK I WENT HIGH! I thought a moment and forced myself down at high speed, landing neatly at the crater left by my takeoff. By neatly I mean that I landed feet first and stuck that bitch.

Most of the dragons were gaping at the sudden disappearance and reappearance of moi. The crater was probably a bonus, so small things. Yog decided that right then was a good time to come off of Smogs back, “So… What’d I miss? I was taking a nap.”

Torch looked at Yog and shuddered, “You entertain odd company, unnamed one.”

I looked to Torch curiously, “My name is James.”

Torch shook his head, “No, you are unnamed by the dragons. What name do you choose for your official name to the dragon people?”

I deadpanned, my eyes narrowing,“Call me James.”

Torch sighed and nodded, then pointed at William, who at this point was flexing his wings experimentally, I assume to get an idea of their full range of motion, saying, “And you?”

William burped, purple flame coming out of his mouth, “Balefire,” he said, grinning.

On that note, we both took off, after waving good-bye to Smog, that is. We both left craters behind where we left the ground, and Bright Mind was being carried bridal style in my arms. Yog was doing whatever the fuck he does when we leave him behind to go do something, and we started making our way back to Ponyville. A mach cone began forming around William, and as I was going at the same speed he was, I assumed the same was happening with me. With two loud, simultaneous ‘cracks’ we broke the sound barrier, trailing purple and blood red contrails. We skidded to a stop in Ponyville only a minute later, our legs somehow not shattering on the landing.

“Sup,” I nodded at Rainbow, who was gaping at us as we skidded to a stop. She was eating a sandwich, and it slid slowly out of her hands, splatting on the table. The rest of that group of friends were also looking on in awe, when I suddenly felt a distinct feeling of heat on my arm.

“Fly to Canterlot?” I asked, smirking.

“Fly to Canterlot.” he confirmed. I set Bright Mind down gently on her feet, and William and I took off. We should probably figure out how to not make craters everytime we take off, maybe jump off buildings? Eh, William will probably come up with something, if I asked him.

We crashed through the stained glass window of Twilight and her friends vanquishing Nightmare Moon, and pulverized the marble floor on landing. I immediately fixed both things with the Architect ability, though I slightly edited the window so that it depicted Twilight as an alicorn. I nodded to Celestia, who was just staring at me, or more specifically, my wings. Luna was staring at William in general, since he was still a pony.

“Sup sunbuns,” I said as I heard two distinct *pomfs* as their wings shot out.

They both blushed and wrestled them back under control, Celestia replying, “The Alpha King of the Grand Warren on the eastern continent has requested our help in rescuing his daughter from a rogue warren near Ponyville. There have been reports of them taking slaves, so you will have to-” A letter materialized in front of her, and she quickly read through it, “It appears that you will have to get to work on this sooner than expected. Rarity has been kidnapped by the warren in that area, so the security of Equestria is at stake. Your pay will be discussed when you return with the princess, so that she may be delivered to the Alpha King.”

I grit my teeth and growled, literally growled, most likely a new feature of my draconic additions. “They are as good as saved. And the slavers? They are as good as dead. I’ll make it slow.”

William teleported us back to the outskirts of Ponyville, where we saw Twilight and co. searching through piles of dirt for an entrance. William sighed, shaking his head, before levitating a tube of dirt out of the ground under one of the dirt piles, hopping down it. I followed after him, and we landed in a tunnel system that stretched on in both directions. “Yog, kill any slavers who may escape us,” I announced.

Yog melted out of the wall, his mask now a fierce glare, “Gladly. Slow or quick?”

“As painful and slow as possible, but don’t let any of them get away.”

Yog nodded, “Easy peasy boss.” he then disappeared in a distortion of space. I heard the whining of a dog down the direction we were facing, and took off at a jog, heading towards it, my club at the ready. William lit up the walls with purple fire, lines stretching far into either direction, though in the direction we were headed, it seemed the tunnel opened up. We began hearing the sound of Rarity’s voice, and I understood why the dog’s were whining. Really, with how Rarity sounds, death would be a kindness, one I wasn’t willing to give just yet.

I had William make us invisible, and he levitated us over the floor so that we didn’t make any noise. I was using my Architect powers to make muzzles that would allow air in, but no sound out, and sticking them on the do
gs that were out of the way. I then stabbed them in each leg and arm, pinning them to the ground, slowly ripping them to pieces. William seemed to be doing something similar, if the areas of dead silence were anything to go by. At this point, Twilight and co. came into the room, Spike with a dreamy look on his face as he rode on Twilight’s shoulders. They grabbed the handles on some carts filled with gems nearby and pulled them out, heading back the way they came. As soon as they exited the room, William dropped us back down to the floor, grinning at the whimpering Diamond Dogs.

“Where is the king’s daughter?” William asked what looked to be the alpha, if the special collar and the clothing he was wearing were anything to go by.

He whimpered, “She’s in the one of the cages! Please, have mercy!”

“Nope,” William responded, stabbing him in the chest with his staff. Gray traces began spreading out from where the point of the staff entered his chest. After ten seconds, he was completely turned to stone, pain clearly written across his features. William put his foot against the chest of the statue and pushed, removing his blade from the chest. He just started burning the dogs alive, and I continued with my slightly discriminate murder of all of them.

I eventually made my way to the cages and was, at this point covered in blood, and found a large male Diamond Dog holding the only female I had seen in these tunnels so far at knife point. “S-stay back! I’ll kill her!”

“Nope,” I formed the knife into a synthetic stake and made it literally dive through his eye and into his brain, effectively lobotomizing him. The second I saw the Alpha King’s daughter, I blushed slightly, as she was a blonde Diamond Dog with a figure reminiscent of Mother Birches, although a bit less athletic. She wore little to nothing at the moment, not helping my blush any, and she was looking at me with wonder in her eyes.

“Wh-who are you?” she asked, fear in her eyes.

I smiled reassuringly. “I’m here to save you.” I held out my hand gently, “Come on, I killed the slavers, you are safe. Are there any others?”

She shook her head, “N-no, I was the only one besides the snobby prissy pony.”

At this we heard a few screams from down the tunnel, along with William’s voice, “Feel agonizing pain,” it echoed through the halls. Since it wasn’t directed at either of us, we didn’t feel it, but judging from the screams, the rogue Diamond Dogs definitely did.

We made our way back towards the main room, where William was lounging on the throne in the center of the room. “Oh hey, what’s up. Is that the king’s daughter?” he said, carefully stepping over one of the writhing bodies on the floor. The alpha, or the statue that he became, was nowhere to be seen.

The princess grunted sadly, “My name is Ruby, not like anyone cares…”

“Sorry, we were sent to find you, we didn’t really catch your name, or even a description, so forgive our impertinence,” William responded sarcastically.

She frowned, “You two… actually care who I am?”

“Should we not?” William asked. It seemed he was really liking sarcasm at the moment.

She shook her head, “N-not normally… most people just see me as the king’s cursed daughter…”

“Ah, you want us to lift the curse? I could tell there was something off, wasn’t sure what though.”

She shook her head, “The knowledge that comes with it is too great… my people need it.”

“Alright then. If you don’t mind me asking, what is your curse though?” I said.

She blushed, “I-I am constantly reborn through the females of my lineage. I have a single daughter, and then die, taking the place of my child. It only happens when the one I take as mate becomes the Alpha King, and that is the only time I can become pregnant.”

“Well, shit if that isn’t depressing. Anywho, I’m starting a statue garden of people I don’t like, so, James, hit me up if you want me to include anyone for you. Also, should we just let Yog handle the rest of these slavers and head back to Canterlot?”

I nodded and looked to Ruby and smiled. “How about we take you home?”

Ruby shook her head, “A-actually… I’d like to stay with you, J-James…”

I smiled dumbly, but before I could respond, William pulled me off to the side, “You realize this is like the sixth chick that’s fallen for you.”

I frowned, “Six? God… Well, I know I like two of them, but… Six girls like me? Who?”

“Celestia, Pinkie, Bright Mind, Ruby, Rarity, and Twilight. Get some help, man.” William answered. “Also, think ‘Death Dealer’ would be a good cover name? At least while I’m a pony?”

I started pacing, “Okay, in order, I’m telling Pinkie, Rarity, and Twilight to step off, never touching those three with a ten foot pole, and I’m thinking I’ll ask Celestia if she’d like to herd. Also, having seen your cutie mark… one sec… let me think…. Oh, read this.” I materialized stone from the ground that spelled the next words I said, “Fuck yes,” I grinned. William shrugged and teleported us back into the throne room, where there was a petitioner already. It seemed that Luna had left already, probably going to sleep.

I smiled as I looked to Celestia, who looked bored as hell. To this, I made a bunny out of the rug and had it hop behind the noble and start dancing, to which she fought the urge to laugh. I then made three more bunnies, and made them dance in a can-can line, her fighting even harder. I then had them dissipate into the rug and repair it before I walked up behind the petitioner with William and Ruby close behind as I slapped him on the back, “What’s going on good sir? Let me see what’s new in the petition circuit?” I then grabbed his petition signed by some nobles I had known to be friends and lackeys of Blueblood. As I read through the cripplingly boring petition, I noticed a clear tone shift after the third page. After the third page, the proposal stated that by signing this, I would be stripped of all ranks, titles, and holdings, and would be turned to stone. “Hah, funny stuff, how long has this meeting been going on Celly?”

She shrugged, “Twenty minutes, it seems the nobles wanted to build a statue in your honor.”

William looked over my shoulder, “Huh, that’s actually a little clever, trying to dissuade someone from reading further by using technical speak to make it as boring as possible.” At noticing William, the noble bowed, and Celestia grinned, “Why are you bowing? And why are you grinning?”

The noble’s face was practically touching the floor. “It is an honor to meet you, your majesty! What is your name?”

“Uhh, Death Dealer, why? Also, why the ‘Your Majesty’ shit?” William responded, then looked at his wings, “Oh fuck, all alicorns are members of the royal family, aren’t they.” Celestia only nodded, grinning. “God damn it, it’s too late to get rid of these as well. Guess I’m stuck as a pony for the foreseeable future then. Welp, RIP me.”

I nodded and walked to Celestia as the Noble quickly realized what I was doing and tried to stop me with pitiful stammering. “I think you’ll want to read this, sunbuns.”

As Celestia read it, I followed her eyes as she went over the entire fourth page, and smiled as I could feel the room grow hotter from her anger. “You… you… You CRETIN! YOU WOULD HAVE US CAST OUT THE MAN WE LOVE AND HIDE IT BEHIND GOODWILL!?! GUARDS! SEIZE THIS PITIFUL INSECT! I WANT HIM GONE!”

...wat? Does not compute. Error 404 file not found. Critical failure, restarting brain.exe

“HUH?!” I shouted as I looked to Celestia, “Y-you… love me?! Here I was planning all this shit, trying to figure out how to tell you that, in private, and you say that to, what, the entire planet?!”

Celestia blushed deep red, “Y-you love me too?!”

I nodded as the guards dragged the noble to god knows where, do we even have dungeons? “W-well yeah! I was studying Pony society and saw that instead of marriage you guys usually do herds, so… I was going to ask about starting a herd, but y-you kinda beat me to the punch!”

“Welp, time for me to dip, get me from a bar when it’s time for my coronation.” William said, saluting snarkily and teleporting out.

I looked to Celestia and Ruby and sighed, “Welp, seems I have some stuff to take care of.”