Geldings

Skeedaddle and I left to go to his house where we'd have more privacy. On the way there, something heavy landed on top of me and slammed me to the ground.

"Oof," I said (or whatever that sounds like).

"How's it going?" said Rumble, laying atop my back.

"Good," I said. Part of me enjoyed having Rumble pinning me to the ground. It was kind of like a hug, maybe? "Still pretty sore, though."

"Oh, crud. Sorry, I totally forgot," said Rumble, flying up off of me and landing on the ground.

I stood up and dusted myself off. "No problem. It's going to hurt back there no matter what I do."

"Yeah, that lasted a couple of days for me. Feels kind of spacious, at least. I mean, once your stones are gone, there's no, um... pressure back there," he said. "I can't really explain it, but now you know what I mean, huh?"

I didn't. If anything, there was more pressure back there now, and Rumble's comment had just made me aware of it again.

"Yeah, he gets it," Skeedaddle interjected, speaking on my behalf. I understood that he was trying to protect me from a slip-up, but it was kind of annoying.

"But you're feeling good enough to be outside, so that's awesome! Do you wanna come over to my place and hang around?" he asked.

Yikes. This was going to be awkward.

"I'd really like that. Could I come by after supper, though? I wanted to talk to Skee about some stuff. About the geld, I mean," I said, then leaned over to whisper to Rumble. "He's really shy about the stuff he went through. It shouldn't take us long to talk about it."

Rumble frowned, but nodded. "Yeah, that's fine. Actually, maybe I can ask Dad to add a place at the table for you? Um, I could try to add you too Skeedaddle, but I have a better shot if it's just plus-one..."

Skee smiled. "Don't worry about it! I know you're best buds, and I want you guys to spend time together. I don't wanna be a third wheel. You can have him when I'm done with him," he said, and winked at Rumble.

Rumble's eyes widened and he blushed. "Um, yeah. Okay, then. I'll see you for supper around five? I'll need to go ask, but I assume it'll work. If not, I'll come by Skee's place and let you know. Wait, where do you live?" he asked Skeedaddle.

"I could give you the address, but I won't keep him that long. He can come get you around four and you guys can figure it out then. Does that work?"

"Sounds good to me," I said. "Hay, Rumble, could you tell my mom if you end up getting permission?"

"I'll tell her right away. If not, maybe I can eat with you instead? Or maybe we can do a sleepover. Looking forward to it, bro!" Rumble smiled brightly and we hoofbumped, then he ran off toward home.

Skeedaddle chuckled. "You two sure have something special. That's awesome."

"Heh, thanks. I guess we do," I said. "I wish we had gelding in common, though."

"Sssh, not so loud," said Skee. "But that shouldn't matter to your friendship, Feather. There's nothing wrong with being a gelding, and there's nothing wrong with being a stallion. Let's talk more when we get home."

We walked in silence the rest of the way there. When we arrived, an earth pony I assumed was Skeedaddle's dad answered the door. He was a thin gelding with a brown coat and blue mane, sporting a thin blue mustache.

"Hello there," he said. "You're one of Skee's friends, hm?"

"Hay. I'm Featherweight," I said.

I saw a glimmer of recognition in his eye. Everypony knew who I was, one way or the other. Before this mess began, it never used to bother me...

"Well, don't just stand there boys, come on in!" called a mare from inside.

We went inside and were greeted by a pleasant earth mare. She had a yellow coat, a golden mane, and glasses.

"You must be Featherweight," said the mare. "Skeedaddle told me all about you."

"He did, huh?" said Skee's dad.

"Featherweight had a difficult geld yesterday," said Skee's mom.

"Very difficult," said Skeedaddle.

"You have no idea," I mumbled under my breath.

His dad snorted. "Gelding is gelding, just part of growing up. You'll get over it, trust me. My geld was difficult too, but I hardly remember it now."

Skee's mom flashed a dirty look her husband's way. "Featherweight, he's just trying to make you feel better. In his own primitive way."

The older gelding rolled his eyes. "Fine, suffer away. Just don't coddle the boy."

Skeedaddle motioned toward the hallway. "Hay, Mom, could you come with?" he asked.

"The casserole is in the oven on slow cook, and I have nothing to do at the moment," she said. "Let me show you around."

We walked into what was obviously a colt's room and shut the door.

"Show me around?" I said. "I guess this is Skeedaddle's room."

"I just needed cover," said his mom. "Skee, you've told him?"

He nodded. "Yeah, he knows you know. But he wasn't kidding, he didn't want the pseudo. He fought them and begged them to stop. They even gagged him."

His mom's face paled. "That's... that should never happen," she said. "Ever. Please tell me you're joking."

I suddenly felt sick inside, and my eyes began to water. "I don't want to talk about it," I whispered.

"Oh you poor thing," the mare whispered back, and she hugged me tight without asking. "I don't understand this. What in Tartarus was Doctor Pastures thinking?!"

"He was thinking about saving his hide," I mumbled. "And now that they mutilated me, I'll never be a proper gelding."

"Featherweight, listen to me," said the mare, pulling my head up so she could look me eye to eye. "There is nothing wrong with being a stallion. You will be a happy, healthy stallion. It's something to celebrate, not be ashamed of."

"I'm a criminal."

"It's not like that," said Skee. "This is a secret you have to keep, yeah. But you have friends who will look out for you. Like I said, give this time. This all just happened to you yesterday, and it was a nightmare, but it's going to get better. I promise."

"The nurse said the same thing," I pointed out. "She helped him violate me. But I'm not kidding, I really don't want to talk about this now." My lower lip began to quiver.

"As you wish," said his mom. "But my son is right. You're in a good place now. You're safe and every bit as healthy as your other friends."

I looked back down at the floor for a moment, thinking of what to ask. "Why did you do this to him?" I asked, pointing to Skeedaddle. "Why would you want your son to be a criminal? Help me understand."

"Do you really think the world is better off with every colt forced to suffer the loss of his testicles, Featherweight?" she asked.

"I... I don't know. Statistics say yes. That's why most ponies support the Edict."

"The ends do not justify the means, dear," she said. "What's being done to colts simply isn't right."

"Nothing about gelding is 'simple'," I countered. "This is all just endless argument, anyway. You have a valid concern on your side, while the Diarchy has centuries of evidence supporting the other side. Yeah, in a perfect world we wouldn't have gelding. I get that. But at some point you have to weigh the benefits to society."

"It shouldn't be a crime to avoid gelding," said Skeedaddle. "Most stallions are good ponies."

"I don't know what to say. I used to feel that way until I actually grew up," I said. "What they did to me yesterday is horrible. It was basically rape."

"So is gelding!" said Skee. His voice had energy, but he kept it low. "Forcing a colt to have his nuts removed is just as bad! So they did something horrible to you. That doesn't mean gelding isn't every bit as much 'rape' to a colt who doesn't want it done to him. And gelding isn't reversible!"

I sighed. "I... I don't know anything," I said, and I sat down on the floor and shut my eyes. "I wish I'd never learned about this. I wish I'd been gelded like Rumble."

"Featherweight. Could you try to give stallionhood a chance?" the mare asked me. "Maybe just for a little while? You haven't experienced it yet."

"I told Feather I'd try to convince the doctor to geld him for real if he still feels this way after two weeks," said Skee. "I... I don't know if I'll be able to, but if he really wants to be a gelding, I don't think it's right to keep him like this."

"What a terrible mess. I suppose we should wait a while, and cross that bridge when we trot to it." She reached over and pet my mane gently. "The most important thing is that you're comfortable and happy, Featherweight. We'll do everything in our power to ensure that comes to pass, regardless as to what you decide."

I took in a deep breath, and nodded. "Okay. I... I appreciate what you're saying. You two weren't the ones who did this to me, anyway. I don't have a problem with you, besides the fact that making your son a criminal is a bad idea."

"Mom, I'll have him talk to Thunderlane and Snips soon," said Skee. "Snips knows Feather was cut, but not that he's one of us. Feather might see Thunder later today if he goes over to Rumble's place."

"How many others are there?" I asked. "I mean here in Ponyville."

Skee's mom pursed her lips tightly together. "Well... I'm not at liberty to say. The reason we haven't had you colts to the meetings is that... there's a, um, social problem we need to deal with. A very big one. It's safer for you two and Snips to stay in the dark for the time being."

"I'm afraid of what's coming," I said. "I don't want to... to do stuff. The stuff that stallions do."

"We can both help you with the difficult parts," she offered.

"No, I mean the sort of stuff you can't help me with," I said. "You know. The gross stuff."

Skeedaddle smiled. "Like slapping off? We can totally help you with that. Like, we can teach you, and even help you do it."

Judging by the awkward looks on their muzzles, my face was probably showing a mix of disgust and horror. "You... ohmygosh that's so gross. Why?"

"Because you need help," said Skee. "We're in this together. I'm like a brother to you now, Feather."

"But you're a colt! And she's like, your mom! Are you some sort of ped—" I stopped short when she planted a hoof firmly over my mouth.

"Too loud," she whispered. "No, it isn't like that. Not exactly. I love my husband very much, but that doesn't mean I can't help a young colt with... his needs. Even my son. Stallions need to be satisfied, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that."

"Yeah. And I'm glad to help, too. I mean, to be completely honest I do like both colts and fillies, but even if I didn't, I'd do what I could," said Skeedaddle.

"This feels really icky," I said. "I don't like this."

His mom held her hoof over her face. "This is the hardest part, I know, but you need to learn quickly. If you're caught dropping or having an emission in bed, you run the risk of being discovered," she explained. "If that does happen, make sure your mother takes you to see Doctor Pastures. He can come up with some kind of excuse for it. But the sooner you learn to manage your libido, the better off you'll be."

"Great. So... when do I have to do the gross thing?" I asked, wincing at the mere thought of slapping off.

"You should probably do it every night, starting with the first day you stop taking the pills," said Skee.

"I want to take those pills forever. I really do," I said.

"No can do, sweetie. Those pills are very bad for you." Skee's mom cupped my chin with her soft frog. "You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah. I just... I want to get past all this junk. I don't want to have to do something disgusting every night for the rest of my life."

"It's fine, Feather. I'll help you through this. You'll get used to it in no time at all," said Skeedaddle. "Once you've been trained, it won't be disgusting. It'll be beautiful."

I was less enthusiastic. "Eww."

(I also didn't like the idea of being "trained", but thought better than to ask.)

Skeedaddle and I eventually decided to just play together and not talk about all the awfulness, so we did that for an hour or two before I headed out to find Rumble.

I stopped by his house early and knocked on the door. Thunderlane answered.

"Hey, little guy. Rumble's waiting for you inside. You wanna come in?" he asked.

"Sure," I said, and walked inside.

Thunderlane leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Congrats on the pseudo. I heard it was a rough one."

I looked around the house and didn't see anypony else. "I can't even talk about it," I said, looking away from him. "I wish I'd just been gelded."

"You have a gift," said Thunderlane, keeping his voice down. "I only wish my brother had the same opportunity. You're fortunate. Don't waste it."

I didn't know what to say, but Rumble came racing down the hallway.

"Hay bud! You can totally eat here tonight. I forgot our folks were leaving on a trip tonight, so Thunderlane came over to cook and foalsit," he said, wings spread wide. "Your mom says I can stay the night at your place afterwards. She wants you to be home tonight because of your geld, to be safe or something."

"Awesome." I smiled a genuine, broad smile. It felt novel.

"Oh, but you gotta go home first, your mom wanted to talk to you," said Rumble. "We can play when you get back." He slugged me in the shoulder. I could tell he pulled the punch a lot but it still hurt. I'm pretty much a runt, I know.

I arrived at home and opened the door to find Mom and Princess Twilight Sparkle sitting at the kitchen table.

"Oh, hello Featherweight! We were just talking about you," said Twilight. (Twilight may be a genius, but I've noticed that she isn't always the smartest pony when it comes to social skills.)

"Right," I said, and shuffled into the room. "If this is about the geld, it's fine. I don't care about the lady that 'helped' me."

Twilight frowned. "Well, this is about more than just you. If this pony was a rogue changeling, we need to find them as soon as possible. I'm not planning on punishment, but whoever did this needs to at the very least own up to it and explain why."

"I'm still upset over it," said Mom. "At least Featherweight made the right choice."

Ow. That one stung.

"Made the right choice?" asked Twilight.

Mom's eyes widened. "I mean, um... Feather wanted to get gelded, is all."

"Did you let your son decide when to be gelded?" asked Twilight, swiveling her ears forward. She didn't look upset.

Mom stood up from the table and raised her head up tall. "Yes. I did," she said. "And to be honest? I wish he didn't have to get gelded at all."

"Mom, no!" I said, stunned.

"It's okay, Featherweight," said Twilight, standing up herself. "I can only imagine how difficult it must be. I'd be reluctant to geld my child, if I had one."

"It's not fair, you know." Mom kept her eyes level with the princess, though I could see a bead of sweat on her brow.

"I do know. It was a nightmare for me when I saw my brother gelded," said Twilight. "He was depressed for a week. They don't tell you about that happening in sex education."

"Don't you support the Gelding Edict?" I asked Twilight.

She sighed. "Well... I can't argue with the statistics. Gelding saves dozens, if not hundreds of pony lives every year. It's ethically questionable, yes, but what would you say to somepony who lost a son or daughter to violence? How would you comfort them if there were a way to prevent that from happening?"

"Couldn't there be other ways to manage violence?" asked Mom.

"Chemical castration, but stallions would cheat. Celestia originally tried that, but you probably know." Twilight paused for a second. "I don't mean this in a negative way, but I'm surprised you would question the benefits of gelding."

Mom's face hardened. "Yes, I know. The rape."

Twilight blushed and nodded. "I'm... very sorry."

"It's okay. It was a long time ago, as you can see," she said, pointing at me. "It really makes no difference. I would endure a hundred rapes to prevent the mutilation of one colt."

Mutilation? Is that what she thinks of me?

"That's not logical," said Twilight.

"You're not a mother of a colt," countered Mom.

Bringing a hoof to her face, Twilight nodded. "You're right. I know gelding asks a lot. I really don't like it, but there isn't a better option. You know..." she said, and looked behind her. "Neither of you may tell anypony this. Do you promise?"

I walked up closer to the table, and nodded along with Mom.

"Princess Luna abhors the Gelding Edict," said Twilight, in a low voice. "She went ballistic the moment she learned of it, after coming back from the Moon. Fortunately she didn't have her mantle for several months, so her anger wasn't backed by strong alicorn magic."

"That makes sense," I said. "The Edict was passed when she was still on the Moon."

"Exactly," said Twilight. "Not counting her sister, she's the only pony in Equestria who didn't grow up learning that gelding is normal. This is something society accepts now, but she refuses to admit it's a good thing."

"Does she have children?" asked Mom.

"To be completely honest, I don't know. There's a taboo against asking royalty about their family trees. I don't even know if Princess Celestia ever had foals," said Twilight. "If she did, she kept it out of the history books. But Luna does have her own Royal Guard, and she was very unhappy to see they had been 'maimed', as she put it."

I thought for a moment about a response, but decided against butting into the conversation. This was dangerous territory, given my secret, and Mom had already given away too much.

"Anyway, Featherweight," said Twilight, turning to me. "I was hoping I could do a quick scan of your mind. I might be able to recover information about who the mare was if you let me see your memories."

My eyes widened and my pulse quickened. I leaned backwards so far I almost lost my balance. "N-no, please," I whispered.

"Are you sure, Feather? She won't hurt you," said Mom.

"No, I'm not going to do it if he doesn't want me to," said Twilight. "Seeing into a pony's mind without their consent is wrong, even if it might help catch a dangerous criminal."

But cutting off their nuts for the same reason is okay?

"Thank you, Twilight," said Mom. "I'll let you know if he should change his mind."

The princess smiled and reached forward to pat me on the head. "I hope you recover quickly, Featherweight. Congratulations on the geld, even if it was a difficult one. You have a long and virtuous life ahead of you, I'm sure," she said. "The foals I talk to have only good things to say about you, by the way."

I blushed, despite myself.

"I'll keep in touch with you should I learn anything new," said Mom. "I mean, if that's okay, Princess?"

"I'm just a pony! As I said before, just call me Twilight," she insisted. "And I appreciate you coming to me. Feel free to come see me if you have anything you want to talk about, even if it isn't something dangerous. I could use a little mundanity in my daily life."

The two mares laughed, and Twilight waved as she exited our home.

"Well. She is remarkably nice," said Mom, with a soft smile.

"I suppose you don't get to be the Princess of Friendship if you're nasty," I said. "You shouldn't have told her you let me decide when to be gelded, Mom. I don't want you getting in trouble!"

"It's fine, Feather. I'm proud of letting you decide. I only wish you didn't need to... but, it's all over now." She hugged me tightly. "I didn't plan on you meeting her. I just wanted you to come home so I could confirm your plans for the evening."

For some reason I cried a little, but I managed to gather myself together in time to head back to Rumble's place.