My Marefriend's A Psychopath?!
So Shy! So Cute! So Crazy?
A man stood at the counter inside of the local bakery, the first human to have ever appeared in Equestria. He stood tall above the ponies around him, their heads coming up to his waist. He was talking to a cheerful pink mare who stood at the counter. Behind him stood a nervously shaking yellow mare with pink hair.
"E-excuse me." The yellow mare quietly mumbled.
The man turned around to look at the mare.
"Hey there Fluttershy, how's your day going?" The man asks.
"Oh, it's going fantastic so far, I was just wondering if I could talk to you for a second." The mare asks.
"Sure, let me just get my order then we can talk all you want, I'm not busy today." The man answers happily.
"Fluttershy! You didn't tell me you where here!" The pink mare shouts excitedly as she jumps over the counter and into the man, knocking him to the ground.
The man lands on his back with a thud.
"Ah fuck, damn Pinkie Pie, can you at least try to be careful." The man groans.
"Oh, sorry." The pink mare giggles.
Pinkie Pie then pulls Fluttershy into a tight hug.
"Erm, hello Pinkie." Fluttershy says nervously as she hugs her back.
The man looks down at his hands and sees a small pink cupcake.
"That isn't what I asked for but it's better than nothing." The man sighs. "Right, so what did you want to talk to me about?"
"Oh, I wanted to talk to you about something back at my house. If you don't mind." Fluttershy asks.
"Okay, we can head there right now if you want." The man answers.
"You're going already? But I wanted to talk to Fluttershy." Pinkie Pie pouts.
"Sorry Pinkie, but it's really important. We'll talk later, if that's okay with you of course." Fluttershy offers.
"Okay! I'll be here all day, the cakes are going on a date tonight so I get to spend the night with the adowable wittwe cuties." Pinkie Pie excitedly giggles.
"Right...." The man sighs.
The man and Fluttershy both leave the bakery, Fluttershy taking the lead as they head towards Fluttershy's house. The journey there was mostly spent in silence with Fluttershy taking glances at the man every few seconds.
"Are you okay? You look a little nervous.... More then usual I mean of course." The man asks.
"I'm fine, I just have a few things that I need to think about. I'll be fine." Fluttershy answers with a blush.
"I'll leave you too it then, just nudge me when you wanna talk." The man says with a smile.
Fluttershy's blush darkens and she wordlessly nods her head. The pair then continued the end of their journey in silence. As they approach the fence around Fluttershy's house she gently nudges the man's leg with her head.
"Hmm? Oh, are you ready to talk?" The man asks.
"Yeah, I'm ready to talk." The mare says as she takes a deep breath. "W-Will you be my *gulp* stallionfriend?" The mare asks with a squeak.
"Woah, I never expected that." The man says as a look of surprise spreads across his face.
"I-Is that a no?" Fluttershy asks with a sniffle.
"No, the exact opposite. I was just surprised that a cutie would ask me to be their stallionfriend. Big shocker. You're a 9 while I'm a 7 at best. Never thought I'd be in this awesome situation." The man says with a smile and a nod of his head.
the front door of her house bursts open and a bloodied, screaming mare falls to the ground.
"HELP! PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU!" The mare screams.
"Right.... Is that one of the things you were thinking about? If so, I can see why you needed to think about it on the way here...." The man says with a look of confusion on his face.
"YOU BITCH! I'LL STOMP YOUR EYES OUT YOU JEALOUS WHORSE!" Fluttershy screams at the mare.
"And here I thought this was gonna be boring." The man says with a look of interest on his face.
"I am so sorry, let me deal with her and we can get back to our conversation." Fluttershy nervously says as she steps towards her house.
"As long as you're not stomping my eyes out then whatever." The man says with a shrug.
"You're not scared?" Fluttershy asks.
"You guys are way too nice, I was expecting something like this from you guys to be honest. As long as it isn't me then I don't care.... It isn't going to be me right?" The man asks.
"Oh no, of course not." Fluttershy says dismissively.
"Then go for it." The man says with a thumbs up.
"WHAT THE HELL! HELP ME!" The mare screams at the man.
"Now that's just rude, shouting won't get you anywhere." The man says as he crosses his arms.
"Help, please?" The mare asks in a desperate tone.
"Alright, but just because you said please." The man answers. "Fluttershy?"
Fluttershy turns towards the man and snarls.
"Ah well I tried." The man says with a shrug.
"THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GONNA DO?!" The mare screams.
"If it ain't you it's me, and on a scale of 1 to 10 on what means more to me, your life is a 5 while mine is a 10." The man explains.
"YOU'RE CRAZY! BOTH OF YOU ARE!" The mare shouts as tears stream down her cheeks.
"That's the thanks I get for trying to help you? So ungrateful." The man shakes his head.
"YOU MONSTERS!" The mare screams.
Fluttershy steps upto the mare and stomps on her head until it's just blood and pulp.
"Right, a little gross but it could be worse. And by worse I mean it could've been me." The man says.
"Right, can we head inside so we can talk? I need to hide her body." Fluttershy asks.
"I know how crazy chicks work, first it's rape then it's murder. How about it's just the first one and we forget about the second one?" The man asks.
"I wasn't going to do either." The mare giggles.
"Not even a little rape? Forefully sit on my face or something?" The man asks.
"You're more perverted then I thought." Fluttershy giggles.
"I'm only messing with you, so, how about some tea?" The man asks as he and Fluttershy head into her house.
Author's Note
Hey! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter (the first of many in this trainwreck.) and I hope you continue to enjoy the other chapters.
My Marefriend's A Psychopath?!
Still Shy! Still Cute! Definitely Crazy!
"So, as I was saying before we were interrupted, I was wondering if you'd like to spend some time with me today?" Fluttershy asks as she sits down in one of her chairs.
"I'd be a fool to turn you down." The man answers with a chuckle. "A dead one at that."
"What was that?" Fluttershy asks.
"Hmm? Oh, nothing. I was taking a dreep breath, my lungs felt a little tingly so I thought it might help." The man answers.
"Give me a second and I'll bring us some tea through." Fluttershy says happily.
The man sits down on a small sofa, and by 'sits' I mean 'squats', and starts to think about the situation that he's now in.
'Don't think about her butt, don't think about her butt, don't think about her butt.' The man repeatedly thinks to himself.
The more the man repeated it the more he thought about the ponies rump.
"Fuck!" The man shouts.
"What's wrong?" Fluttershy asks as she pokes her head around the corner.
"Nothing! I just.... Sneezed! Yeah, sneezed." The man answers with a nervous smile.
"Oh okay, well the tea's nearly done, it won't be much longer." The happy mare sings.
The mare then dissapears around the corner.
'That butt though.... Wait! Genius idea!' The man thinks to himself.
The man the steps into the mare's kitchen.
"Would you like some help?" The man asks.
"Oh no, you sit down and I'll bring it through in a moment. If you don't mind that is." The mare answers.
"Wait a sec, there's a spider in your tail, let me get that for you." The man says as he steps towards the mare.
The man then grabs Fluttershy's tail and lifts it up just enough for him to see what's underneath it.
'BUTT! BUTT! BUTT! BUTT! BUTT! BUTT!' The man screamed in his head.
Fluttershy then quickly swivels around on the spot and covers her rear with her forelegs.
"P-PERVERT!" She 'screams'.
"There was a spider! I promise!" The man says in a panic.
"Y-You tried to look under my tail! I-I saw it!" Fluttershy squeaks.
The man then bursts out of the room and out of the mares house, followed quickly behind by a blushing and angry Fluttershy.
"Worth it, worth it, worth it, worth it...." The man repeats as he sprints towards Ponyville.
The man was then chased throughout Ponyville by the angry mare that he tried to peek on. It was incredible, at one point he tripped over and Fluttershy flew over him and into a wall. You should've seen it! But, you didn't. Shame really.
"GET BACK HERE!" Fluttershy 'shouted'.
"NEVER! I'LL NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITIES FOR MY ACTIONS!" The man shouts as he runs towards a house in the distance. "SAFETY!" The man shouts.
Fluttershy then slows down and lets the man run into the house without issue.
"I got away!" The man pants.
Fluttershy then opens the window next to him and flies through.
"I FAILED!" The man shouts.
"This is *my* house, you can't escape from me in here." Fluttershy growls.
"Wait a second, I ran around the entirety of Ponyville only to run straight back to your house?" The man asks.
"Yes, you did." Fluttershy growls as she spreads the fur on the back of her forelegs, revealing blades that travel from the top of her legs to her hooves.
"You can kill me later, I still wanna know how I didn't realise that I just ran what is basically a lollipop around Ponyville and then straight back to your house." The man shoo's her away.
Just as Fluttershy is about to pounce at him a loud whistling noise can be heard coming from the kitchen.
"Oh, the tea's ready." Fluttershy says as she happily skips into the kitchen.
"Did she just skip? I've never seen her do that." The man mumbles to himself. "What the fuck is going on?" The man asks himself.
Then man then shakes his head and sits on the gound. Fluttershy then walks into the room with a tray on her back with a tea pot and a pair of teacups on it. Fluttershy then uses one of her wings to hand the man a teacup already filled with tea.
"Thank you." The man says as he takes it from her wing. "So, what kind of tea are we having?"
"It's a nice green tea, Rarity told me it was really good for calming ponies down, I get stressed easily due to my nervousness so it might be helpful." Fluttershy answers as she takes a sip.
The man then takes a sip and sits silently for a few seconds.
"Ow." The man says.
"Ow? What's wrong?" Fluttershy asks.
"It burned my tongue, throat and now it's currently burning my stomach." The man says as he takes another sip.
"Then stop drinking it then!" Fluttershy says as she snatches the cup from the man's hand.
As soon as she realises what she did she immediately blushes, starts shaking and runs out of the room.
"Ow, my stomach hurts." The man says as he pats his stomach.
After a few seconds of being sat by himself in complete silence, he breaks the silence himself.
"I wish I had more of that tea." The man says with a sigh.
The man starts to gently pat his knee. He then speeds up his patting. He then starts to pat out a beat on his knee. Before long he starts to stare up at the ceiling and day dream about pony butts and generally just being a creep.
"I-I'm s-s-sorry for what I d-did." Fluttershy whimpers as she steps back into the room.
"Hmm? Oh it's fine, don't worry about it. It's my own fault for burning myself." The man explains.
Fluttershy then lays next to the man and nuzzles against him.
"Mind if I ask you a question?" The man asks.
"It's okay, you can ask." Fluttershy answers.
"How many ponies have been kidnapped and are currently in this house?" The man asks.
"There is about 4, why do you ask?" Fluttershy asks in return.
"Because there's a unicorn horn poking me in the back and it keeps moving." The man answers.
"I'll go take care of that." Fluttershy giggles.
Author's Note
Chapter 2! Wooo! I don't know what I'm doing anymore! Wooo! This story doesn't make sense anymore! Wooo!