Lovely Misadventures
Hello? Equine Resources?: Part Two
Previous ChapterNext ChapterOkay, so now I can add not being able to eat what I like to the growing list of things that I can no longer do. As much as I hate this, Cadence and Twilight are doing this because they like having me around, so I really shouldn't complain...much. Well, fuck it, I may as well just get my other errands out of the way. I'm running low on fish food for my goldfish so I need to go pick some of that up. Also gotta go to the post office to get some stamps and some wax for sealing envelopes.
Since I haven't been to work in several days at this point, I wasn't the one working on the schedule so I don't know if Derpy is working at my store or the post office today. I hope I see her familiar smiling face, I miss her and all my other employees. I would end up lucky today as I was greeted by those sweet, mismatched eyes of hers the second I trotted in. This whole thing has gotten me thinking...
"Heya, boss!" Derpy beamed as her eyes lit up.
"Derpy! Oh, Faust, I miss you guys at work!" I sighed as I trotted up to the counter.
"We miss you too! When are you coming back?"
"Ugh, pretty much when Cadence and Twilight say I can."
"Well...they're worried about you. We all are."
I really am a lucky stallion to have ponies around me who care as much as they do. That's why I've decided that I'm going to go against a code I had always strictly followed in all my years in business management. I'm going to start hanging out with my employees outside of work, starting with Derpy.
"Well, when you get off here, feel free to drop by later tonight." I offer. "I'll show you that project I've been working on in my garage."
"Oh my gosh, finally!" Derpy gave a sigh of relief. "Caddy, we've all been waiting for you to open up for years!"
"And I'm sorry it took me so long to do it."
It's true, my employees are like family to me. Family that for years, I closed myself off from and refused to allow them to step beyond strictly professional boundaries and get to know the real me and the life I live. Like most others in town until recently, my staff knows very little about me. That's about to change and soon, I can consider them friends and vice versa.
After making small talk for a minute or two, Derpy gave me a nice hug and I went on my way to find something to do as to not keel over and die from boredom. Normally, I caution my employees about any kind of physical contact with each other, as if it ends up making somepony uncomfortable, my equine resources department would chew them up and spit them out; and by my equine resources department, I mean me.
Like any part of my job, I take the general comfort of my employees seriously. I've hired real gems and they tend to stick around. I've also hired idiots and later found out the hard way. I've written up and fired workers without a second thought for violating my company's protocols by unwanted touching, groping, asking for blowjobs, that kinda stuff. Had a guy once smack a co-worker on the ass "as a joke" how he put it. He was gone right then and there, myself and the rest of us showed him the door...well, actually we tossed him out of it but I digress.
Derpy would be at her postal job until five today and I was really looking forward to spending time with her outside of work. If I could just get a hold of the rest of my team, I bet we could all hang out sometime but for now, baby steps. To pass the time for now, I'll just add a little more smut to that other story I'm working on. You know, the one where Shining Armor finds a butt buddy. I better update that other one about the school buss accident too. I have a few good ideas.
Time seemed to tick by as slow as it possibly fucking could but on the plus side, I got a lot of writing done, including this load of shit you're reading right now. Don't get me wrong, I can feel my blood pressure going down but I fucking hate being so bored. I wanna go back to work, dammit! Can't really argue with royal decree though, now can I?
Finally, five o'clock rolled around and about five minutes after, I hear an excited, enthusiastic knock on my door that only a certain bubbly pegasus would make. She sure wasted no time coming over here. Wow, she really wanted to see me. The more time goes on lately, the more my frozen heart melts. Sure enough, when I opened the door, I was greeted with a set of those golden, slightly off center eyes. They used to be a lot worse and she could barely see until a bunch of white bread soccer moms started bitching about it so she had to go and get that fixed. See, this shit is why I don't like milf porn anymore. I work retail. If you go into a store and start screaming for the manager and proceed to treating my employee like crap because your coupon expired six fucking years ago, I'm sorry but I don't wanna touch you. Ah, again, I digress.
"Hiya, Caddy!" An ever so bubbly Derpy beamed as she stood on my doorstep, proudly holding up a damn good looking basket of muffins.
"Hey, glad you could come over, Derpy!" I beamed as I stepped aside to let her in. "Hey, those look good! And healthy!"
"Yeah, I know Princess Cadence and Twilight have been trying to get you to take better care of yourself, so I thought these would be a good snack for us."
She's such a doll. Just being around her is lifting my spirits. She really is wonderful company and an awesome assistant too, which is why I think she and I could have lots of fun on this project I'm working on in the garage. I can't wait to show her! Well, after we make quick work of these delectable muffins she brought over, we can do just that.
"Oh! So, what's this project you said you're working on, Caddy?" Derpy asked.
Ha, she beat me to it.
"Ah, I'll show you, my dear friend!" I beam with a smile as I hoof over one of my spare lab coats. "Suit up."
I've come so close to the big breakthrough I've been dreaming of in regards to my creation. After years of trial and error, constant casting, precise machining, an explosion here and there, I think I've finally just about done it. The best part? I have a friend to share my success with. Standing tall and proud before myself and my bubbly assistant is my very own creation, what was about to be Equestria's very first engine driven carriage.
I built if from the ground up, all the way down to the frame and chassis. The spokes on the wheels, the strut springs, the headlamps, the bright red paint job, the clutch and chain drive mechanism. Every part of this baby is hoof put together by yours truly, including the engine which I designed and built to run on pure alcohol. No, I'm not going to drink it. This is my proudest achievement and once Derpy and I get it off the ground, it could change transportation in Equestria forever. I call it the Cadillac. Yeah yeah, GM, don't get your panties all in a bunch.
It was all coming together and the time was nigh. The local weather team is busy stirring up some storm clouds as we speak as to produce rain for farm crops. The thunder is rolling in and in mere moments, we can put my final plans into action. I have a set of cables attached to a lightning rod that I managed to extend about fifty feet above the roof of my house. There's no way it won't attract a strike. The other ends of the long, thick cables are clamped onto the engine's main power box that just needs the right amount of charge to get her up and running.
The rain is pouring down like mad and I'm starting to get anxious. I'm taking a big risk by standing on the roof of my garage where once I can achieve a lightning strike, I can give Derpy the signal. This can go wrong in so many ways but for the sake of science and engineering, this is a risk I must take. With our goggles strapped to our faces and our hooves firmly wrapped in thick rubber for protection, all we could do at this point was wait. At long last, our long anticipated wait was over.
KARRRACKAPOW!
This was it! It was now or never! Do or die! As soon as that bolt of lightning struck my lightning rod, I screamed out as loudly as my smoke damaged vocal cords could possibly allow.
"Derpy!! Throw the switch!! Throw the switch!!" I screamed down to my assistant whom was down inside my garage operating the resistance regulator.
Derpy heard me loud and clear and pulled the first lever on my machine that would give life to my creation should everything go according to plan. What she was working with was my device that controls the amount of power that actually gets to my engine as to avoid frying it outright. What we were getting with the first switch wasn't quite enough though as the engine barely turned over and couldn't quite get its cylinders to fire. There was only one option.
"Throw the second switch!!" I commanded as I leaped back into the garaged and over to closely monitor the progress of my creation.
The second lever was pulled by my loyal assistant and more power began rushing into the hungry engine that would soon be running. It was working! It's turning over! I can hear some of the cylinders going off! Yes! We have ignition! There's exhaust fumes coming from the tailpipe! It's almost there! It just needs a little more and it shouldn't stall out!
"Throw the third switch!!" I commanded.
Derpy did just that and at this point, I was starting to get high from the excitement and I failed to keep from pissing myself, but I didn't care. Looking back up to the lightning rod, I could see that it had become little more than molten steel and much to my fortune, the heavy rain cooled it off before it could reach the roof of my house or my garage. It's all coming together and I have the hardest fucking boner under my lab coat right now, both because lightning turns me on and from the excitement of what we're about to accomplish.
Finally, whatever power from the lightning strike that was left subsided and save for the occasional bit of rolling thunder outside, everything went quiet. I signaled Derpy to turn all the switches back and we approached my creation as it sat in the middle of my garage. There was no need for more power as the muffled "puttputtputt" of my engine could be heard plainly and the smell of burned ethanol could be smelled. Derpy and I paused for a moment and just stood there and gawked at the machine we had just breathed life into. We had done it. My creation has eight cylinders and it's using all of them.
"Derpy..." I said as we stood there and stared at my running machine. "We did it...we actually did it..."
"It's amazing..." Derpy gasped. "This could change Equestria as we know it."
"Bwahahahahhh!! It's alive!! It's aliiive!!"
"Caddy, you're a genius!!"
"We both are! Derpy! Hold me!"
I didn't have to tell her twice and she didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around me and hold me against her soft, warm body, made even cuter than usual in the lab coat she was wearing. With our wings flared out and adrenaline rushing through our bodies, soon I remembered just one slight, small problem was seemed to be getting bigger and bigger with each new bit of stimuli we were presented with. I still had a massive, raging hardon and my sick lightning fetish along with the general excitement, my ego being fed and being held against the body of an attractive female were all adding to it. Well, this is...awkward.
Knowing that my cock touching her could ruin our relationship and boss and employee, I gently tried to push her away from me as to keep from poking her with it. That just made her hold on even tighter. There's no way she doesn't notice it, it's snaking up right between our bellies as we held them against each other's and it's hard as a fucking rock. What she did next was a real shocker. Through most of the embrace, she had rested her head on my shoulder and she lifted her head up and that's when our eyes met. Those pretty, golden mismatched eyes looked into mine and Derpy's face took on a shade of red similar to my own. Without warning, she just went for it.
She simply couldn't control herself. She all of a sudden just closed her eyes and brought her lips up to mine and just started going at it. Shocked, I just sat there while she sucked on my face but the affect she was having on me was like being under a spell. After a moment, I finally began to reciprocate her advances and closed my eyes while our tongues wrestled with one another. I was really enjoying it. Derpy is very attractive and just plain adorable, and we like and trust each other so hey, why not?
Wait a minute! We can't do this! I'm her boss! Oh shit shit shit shit shit, this is bad! We've just violated my number one rule for my employees! I know this is so wrong on every level but I just can't get myself to stop kissing her! I'm loving it too much! Now I've even lost my own self control?! What's wrong with me?!
"Mmmfff...mmahh!" Derpy moaned as she broke the kiss and gave me that look I've seen in a mare's eyes before. "Caddy?"
"Y-yeah, Derpy?" I stuttered. That low, sultry tone she gave me could only mean one thing.
"I reeeaaally like smart guys like you."
Author's Note
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