I fucking love Chrysalis! She knows just what we both want and she's a feisty, take no shit from anypony kinda girl. Over the past month and a half, I've fucked her in every possible form we could think of, including her own self. I'm getting damn good at it and I've even gotten my color back. She comes to Ponyville much more often than she originally anticipated just to see me and she and I both have grown quite fond of each other.

I fucked her as Celestia and Luna, sometimes both in one night, I've plowed her as she takes the form of Gilda the gryphon, and I've banged her while she impersonates Berry Punch, just so I could get the sensation of teaching that bitch a lesson for all the shit she put me through. I've gone down on her and sixty-nined with her, had her blow me Faust knows how many times. To have my dick rubbing between those sexy fangs of hers, AHHH, I'm getting riled up just thinking about it!

Chrysalis and I have zero shame whatsoever when it comes to where and when we get down and dirty. We've done it in my garage and every room in my house, on the beach at a nearby lake, in the park as we hid in the bushes, on a cloud, and even in my office at my store whether it was open or not. I don't care if my employees and customers can hear me pounding her as she's bent over my desk while roleplaying as my secretary. I just don't give a flying fuck. Oh, and I fucked her while flying too. We both agreed that it's the most awkward thing we've ever done.

She wasn't kidding when she told me that she has a very high sex drive. How could she not when she has had hundreds of offspring? Don't sorry, she casts a contraception spell before every time we fuck, so we're good. Both of us are very fertile, so we're not taking any chances. Anywho, she and I are catching a movie and then a nice dinner afterwards, and we both know what comes next. I uh...I really have grown to like her...a lot.

It's a nice crisp, cool Autumn day and the sun is shining brightly as my date and I trot about town to and from our date spots as we sport our shades and scarves. As a couple, we tend to turn heads and if ponies thought I was crazy before, they started thinking that I really have a screw loose to be dating Chrysalis. Yes, we are in fact an item now, we've gone from fuck buddies to being an actual couple. Well, fuck them if they have a problem with it. I can hear ponies talking about us behind our backs and the next one who does I'll...oh, right. I'm on probation so I can't do fuck all.

"How on Earth does he find her attractive?" A mare said to another as Chrissy and I trotted by.

"I don't get what he sees in her." Replied another.

"Quite a downgrade from Fluttershy if you ask me." Said a stallion.

"I heard that as a foal, he'd climb up on the roof during a thunderstorm and hold a wrench up in the air." Said another.

"Hey, I only did that like five times!" I retorted as I turned my head back to face them.

That just made them even more creeped out but I don't care. I'm having a great day and I don't even remember who this Flutterfuck or what's her name? Well, until I see her trotting about town crossing the street with her abusive little cocksucker rabbit in tow. Just like any other time I happen to trot past, he's cussing at her, slapping her, biting her, or all three, and she's apologizing to him for whatever reason. I know she dumped me but it's still sickening to see. Why does she excuse an animal's rotten behavior? I could never understand that about her. Chrysalis felt mutually about that and was about to make it known.

"Are you seriously just going to take that!?" Chrysalis yelled as she trotted off course and over to Fluttershy. Oh shit, Chrissy, don't get us in trouble!

"I um, b-beg your pardon?" A confused Fluttershy asked as she covered up her black eye with a hoof and looked up at my date whom towered over her.

"I've seen a lot of screwed up shit in my days, but the way you cower to the whim of a tiny creature like that is simply disgusting!"

"Oh, Angel doesn't enjoy it, he's just frustrated because I forgot to fluff his tail this morning. I made a mistake and he expressed it to me the only way he knows how. It's not his fault!"

Without another word, Chrysalis enveloped that little bastard with her aura and picked him up off the ground and pulled him up to about a foot away from her muzzle. Immediately, she began to suck some sort of aura from the tiny animal and it took me a moment to realize that she was sucking out whatever love that little fuckball has in him, which I was surprised that there was any at all. It's probably all the love he has for himself...that little pud yanker.

Oh shit! I need to run over there and break this up before Chrissy and I both get arrested again! Fluttershy is once again screaming for help like she did when I chased Angel with intent on killing the little douche nozzle. Ponies all over the place are staring at us as I desperately try to break up the confrontation. What made my heart sink to a level I never thought it would reach was what my marefriend did next.

After Chrysalis had the little shit smear tapped dry, she rudely dropped him back to the ground and stomped on the crispy, crunchy husk of a creature the little dickbutt was reduced to. Just like that, Angel was dead and Chrysalis had just killed him in front of dozens of ponies including two police officers and even Rainbow Dash! Why does this shit always have to happen to me whenever something starts to go right for me?

"Are you two just going to stand there!?" Fluttershy screamed in despair at the two nearby police ponies. "Look what she did to Angel!"

"Did what to who now?" One of he cops asked.

"We didn't see anything." Her partner interjected.

"Are you kidding me!?!? She just killed my bunny right in front of you!!"

"Can we get a roadkill unit over here for a carcass removal?" One of the officers said as she spoke into her radio.

"Hey, all I know is we kept getting reports from neighbors about that bunny slapping you around and you kept refusing to press charges." The second officer said with a shrug. "But um...yeah, we didn't see anything."

"Come now, my dear stallion." Chrysalis said as she picked me up with her aura, my jaw just about touching the ground at what I just saw. "Let's go see that movie, I've been looking forward to it too much to be late."

I simply can't believe it. Angel has finally been put down and by my current marefriend to boot! The best part is that we seem to have gotten away with it scott free! I always thought ponies were pissed off at me because I tried to off the little jiz rag but Chrysalis just did it and nopony bats an eye. Maybe it was the fact that I waved a gun around crowded streets and endangered everypony around me. Either way, right now I don't care because I'm starting to love Chrissy even more! We just left Fluttershy to scream and panic over the loss of her abusive companion and went on with our date. The next street over, we would be greeted with another pleasant surprise.

"Hey!" A familiar voice called out to my date and I as its owner swooped over. "I've been waiting for somepony to punish that miserable little prick for years!"

Not only was Rainbow Dash not upset that we just murdered Fluttershy's pe-er...master, she was actually cheering over it. Ah, no wonder she didn't behave hostilely towards me when she was supervising my community service. After Giving Chrissy and I a hoof bump, Rainbow Dash went on her way and so did I and my date. I have never been more attracted to anypony in my life and when she and I get home later tonight, I'm going to destroy both of us.

Later that night...

"So, what'll it be tonight, hm?" Chrysalis cooed as she switched back and forth between various mares and other attractive female creatures while lying on my bed.

"Yourself." I said firmly in between heavy breaths as my dick grew. "I want to make love to the real Chrysalis."

"Aww, you're such a sweet, lovable oaf, you know?"

I wasted no time mounting my mate as she lie on her back and before we knew it, we were having crazy, wild, stupid sex. I've been getting good at it over the past couple of months and I plowed Chrysalis especially hard as I was turned on by a girl who takes shit from nopony. A strong willed, self respecting girl like her that Shutterfly simply wasn't. Because of that, tonight, I wanted to mate with who my queen really is.

We're both drenched in sweat as I pump in and out of her as fast as an engine revs and thankfully, she has plenty of her own natural lubricant to keep my piston pumping comfortably. After a while of me pounding the fuck out of her, she jumps up and pushes me over and I lend on my back where she then proceeds to take over from where I left off. Ooh, she's grinding like a champ! I mean, she's almost as old as Celestia and twice as hot so of course she knows what she's doing.

After an hour or so of fucking like animals, something weird starts happening to us. We're both breathing heavy and drenched is sweat and ejaculatory fluids and suddenly, she takes a deep breath and starts sucking some strange aura out of me like she did with that little pussy ass rabbit earlier. The only difference was that it felt amazing. For some reason, she wasn't able to do this before but now, all of a sudden, she's feeding off me...and I fucking love every second of it.

"Ahhh, fuck!" I moan as Chrysalis continues to suck love right out of me.

"Mmmmaaahhh, you have so much!" Chrysalis moans from the intense pleasure. "Soooo much love to give!"

"Take it all, baby! I'm yours! I'm all yours! Ahhh fuck yes, I belong to you, Chrissy!"

Again, Flutterwho? I'm more than over her at this point and I now love Chrysalis. It feels totally awesome but at the same time, as she and I bask in the afterglow and each enjoy a cigarette, I can't shake this sinking feeling that something bad is about to happen. It seems to be a pattern, whenever something good happens to me or I find somepony I really like, something fucks it all up, whether it's my fault or not. Chrissy seems to be able to read me like a book too.

"Something wrong, darling?" Chrysalis asks me, having read my expression of dread as we lay next to each other.

"Huh? Uh, nah, sweetheart, everything's fine." I lied through my nicotine stained teeth.

"You're lying through your nicotine stained teeth. Now tell me what's bothering you."

She had me by the balls, both figuratively and literally. She can read me like a book and honestly, I'm just a terrible liar. I might as well just tell her. Who knows? Maybe it'll prevent something bad from happening. Well, I ended up coming clean with her. Obviously, she was fully aware of my past flings and who not so well they worked out for me but I made it clear to her that the pattern had me worried and I so badly wanted it to be broken so I could achieve happiness for once in my life.

After a nice long talk and a few more cigarettes later, Chrysalis kept assuring me that things would work out just fine between us. I loved her and for the first time in her thousands of years of existence, she felt love for me as I was the first stallion she had ever spent this much one on one time with without the intentions of infiltrating and conquering an empire. That, right there, actually felt amazing to hear and she and I could both drift off to sleep within each other's warm embrace with a new warm, fuzzy feeling that she and I gave one another.

The next morning...

"Urp!...HHUUUURRGGGHHH!" Splash!

I was jarred out of my blissful slumber by the sounds of somepony regurgitating in the master bathroom of my home and Chrissy was no longer lying next to me so I guess that kinda narrows it down, doesn't it? Concerned for the health and comfort of my beloved lovebug, I sprang out of bed and galloped over to the bathroom door where sure enough, Chrissy was hugging the toilet and after heaving for a moment, her cheeks filled and out came what she ate last night. Poor girl, what could be wrong with her?

"Chrissy, baby, you alright?" I asked softly as I began gently rubbing her back in attempt to soothe her and mitigate some of her discomfort.

"Ooohhh, fuck my life, what is wrong with me?" Chrissy moaned as she seemed to have emptied out her stomach and proceeded to dry heave. "Ugh, I haven't been sick like this since...since..."

Her eyes began to widen and her pupils shrink as if she had suddenly realized something. What could she be going on about? Now she's got me worried.

"Since when?" I ask my marefriend as she stares off with her eyes still as wide as saucers.

"I uhh..." Chrysalis stuttered. "I just remembered that the royal sisters wanted to see me today for uhh...one of my probation meetings."

"O-okay, darling."

Without another word, Chrissy sprang up from where she lay and galloped out the front door of my house and I watched her fly away a bit more slowly than she usually flies for some reason. Huh, has she been putting on a little weight? Maybe that's why she's flying more slowly. Hey, I'm not complaining, more cushion for the pushin'! I just hope she's okay, she's acting really strange.

Honestly, it just occurred to me that I have some shit to do today as well and coincidentally, I have to meet up with the Mayor, the town Judge, the police chief and Twilight regarding my own progress on my probation. I'm doing pretty well, last time I talked with them. I was due to meet them this afternoon and when I did, I was given some good news. They informed me that I will be allowed off probation in two more weeks because of all the community service I've been doing! Nice!

While on probation, I haven't been allowed to drink or leave town without first being granted permission so this will be a treat. To top it all off, they'll even let me have my guns back! Do you have any conceivable fucking clue how much money I've invested in those pieces of hardware? A fucking lot, okay?

After the meeting, I had a couple small errands and a few little things to pick up and after that, I just wanted to go home and relax with my sweetheart if she happened to be back by now. She'll probably be a little while as she had to go all the way to Canterlot, so I wouldn't be surprised if she isn't back until dark. I would soon find however, that I may not end up seeing her for quite a while, as would be explained to me by a small note taped to my front door.

Caddy

Something has gone wrong and I don't know how I'm going to tell you. Please don't worry about me though, we're going to be just fine and we'll get through this when I can see you again. Unfortunately, it may be a month or two before I can travel outside of Canterlot. I'm so sorry, darling. I look forward to coming back with some news. Whether good or bad is really up to you to decide. Love you, Cadillac. Kiss kiss.

Love: Chrissy

Called it! Fucking called it! Nothing ever goes right when I find love! Fuck my life and fuck everything! Gaahhh!! I don't even know exactly what's going on and now I have to wait a fucking month or more to find out! I can't take this kind of stress and anxiety for that long!

I spend all night going over that letter again and again and again. I try my best to interpret every line, every sentence, every word, desperately searching for something good. Anything will do. What did she mean by "we're going to be just fine"? Get through what? I don't understand!

Over the next several days, I write to her where she is staying in Canterlot with the Royal Sisters for her rehabilitation. After two weeks of wondering and waiting, I finally receive a letter from Princess Celestia, assuring me that Chrysalis was indeed just fine and not in any trouble whatsoever but exactly what was going on needed to be on the hush hush for the time being. Oh, and the last part of the letter said "congratulations by the way". Congrats on what? Why the fuck is everypony being such a fucking wiseass with me?

An agonizing six weeks later...

Chrysalis should be back any time now as it's been nearly two months at this point and my blood pressure and anxiety are off the fucking charts much to Twilight, Shining's, and Cadence's dismay. To make matters even more frustrating, I know for a fact that they know something that they're not telling me. Every day for the past several weeks, I trot or fly home hoping to see the silhouette of my tall and exotic lover through the window as she waits for me. I'm on my way home from work now. I've never been a very religious pony, but I'm praying to Faust herself that I can see Chrissy again soon and put whatever mess we made behind us.

Though I've been punked around and have been frustrated to no end as of late, I still try my best to be kind to whomever speaks to me. Save for sucking the life of of that nob polisher rabbit, Chrysalis has actually been fitting in well enough and has made a genuine effort to show ponies around Equestria some kindness...or at least attempting to behave like she tolerates them, but I digress. I better pause for a moment to see what Pinkie Pie here has to say. She's bouncing right towards me, so she must want to talk to me.

"Ooh! Caddy!" Pinkie beamed as she bounced in place in front of me. "Congratulations!!"

"Uhh...thanks?" I said, immensely confused. "On what exactly?"

"On the good news! We sooo have to have a party for this! I'll get the stuff for it ready! Just let me know when they come! Bye now, Daddy Caddy!"

If I thought for one moment that I couldn't possibly get more confused, every moment I trotted home, something would come along and prove me wrong. I've established before that I don't like it when mares call me Daddy too. Even if it's out of affection, I'm only twenty-eight goddamn years old! What, are ponies gonna start calling me "Grandpa" when I turn thirty? I just wanna go home!

On my way there, even more ponies I came across congratulated on whatever achievement I was unaware of and bolted off before I could ask them what they fuck they were even talking about. It got to a point where I even tried to physically grab a few of them as to hold them there while I interrogate them. I never managed to get a hold of any of those slippery bastards but when I came across Lyra and Bon Bon, I decided that physically grabbing a mare and holding her in place wouldn't look particularly good on me so I just said fuck it.

For once, I would find that I was indeed about to get a break as sure enough, I could see the silhouette of a tall, sexy changeling girl pacing about back and forth through my window. Finally! I wasted no time bursting through my front door to embrace my marefriend and get to the bottom of whatever issue was bugging my lovebug.

"Caddy, Darling!" Chrysalis beamed as I rushed in and hugged her tight. "Caddy, I'm so sorry about everything! I had no idea how I was going to tell you!"

"It's okay, lovebug!" I cooed loudly as I gently brushed a hoof across her cheek. "Just tell me what you gotta tell me and we can get on with our lives, okay, Sweetheart?"

"Okay...so um...You see this crate right here?"

There was indeed a large wooden warehouse style crate with a blanket on top of it to which Chrysalis was pointing at. It was just short enough that I could see that the blanket on top was slightly sunken in, indicating that the top must have been pried off. What's this all about?"

"Mkay, what about it?" I asked.

"Remember the last night we made love?"

I put on a smirk as the memories of that night came back.

"Mmhmm."

"You said you wanted to make love to the real Chrysalis. Well...I was so uhh...emotionally moved by that...that I sort of...forgot to...cast a contraception spell."

My pupils shrank to pin pricks and every hair on my body stood on end. No. No no no, something like that can't be allowed to happen! The two most fertile sons of bitches in the world banging without contraception! That's why I stay away from public pools! One drop of my seed could impregnate all the local moms within a mile radius! What the fuck was she thinking!?

"Caddy? Someponies here would like to meet you." Chrysalis said as she pulled the blanket off the top of the crate to reveal the contents.

Inside the crate were several large white eggs with a few light green wavy lines on them, some of them broken open, others not. Along with those eggs were what must have been a few dozen tiny little changeling larvae crawling over each other. Some of them were hatching from the eggs right before my eyes. Every one of them had green eyes like mine, and reddish coats...like mine. Oh my Faust...these are mine.

"Daaadeee." Several of the changeling larvae beamed as they began crawling out of the crate and onto me.

"Shit!" Another small group of larvae shouted.

"Fuck!" Yet another group began chanting.

"Arse! Cunt! Bitch! Karen! Twat!" Soon, the whole crate full of baby changelings erupted with all kinds of curses as these creatures...these...beautiful, wonderful, adorable little creatures began crawling all over me and hugging me and snuggling me for warmth with their tiny worm like bodies. Yup, they're mine alright.

As heartwarming as this whole thing is, I was anything but ready for this. I wasn't supposed to become a father. It was never supposed to happen! I'm a terrible, miserable, bitter, mean, blackhearted bastard! I can't do this! This can't be happening! I can't raise foals! I'll be a terrible father!

"Chrissy, I..." I stuttered as I became dizzy and nearly fainted. "I don't feel so good."

"I'm sorry, dear, I know it's a lot to take in." Chrissy said as she hung her head. "I hope you...still love me."

"I...I..."

"Darling, I've raised so many changelings on my own, I don't have it in me to go through it all again! Please don't make me raise them alone! They need both of us!"

"And I need time to fucking think, okay!?"

I didn't know what else to do but burst out my front door and gallop off as fast as my legs could carry me. I've never been so scared and freaked out in my life. I didn't see this coming. Just a few short months ago, I went from being the stallion no mare would touch to being a father. A fucking father! I can't be a father! That's not me! That's not Cadillac Taille Finz!

I just needed to get away from my house so I could slow down and think for a while. This is way too much for me to handle right now. Having a mare I slept with bring a foal over and tell me it's mine is one thing but Five dozen!? I'm screwed! My life is over! My home! My Career! Everything I spent my entire life working my hooves to the bone for! I'll lose all of it!

I really, honestly think I'm having a heart attack and I pray to Faust that my heart stops and I drop to the ground a dead pony. Unfortunately, I find myself pressing on and I'm quickly losing what little of my sanity is left. I'm trotting around town in circles, babbling like a lunatic and ponies are starting to stare. This time, I'm getting looks not of anger or annoyance but genuine concern. When that happens, I really am in trouble. Somepony needs to stop me and throw me into a psych ward before I do something really foolish!

A while later, I tire myself out with my galloping in circles and my body forces me to stop and in doing so, I can finally think straight like the brilliant intellectual I've always been proud of being. Okay, deep breaths, Cadillac. There you go. Okay, what to do, what to do...I need to find a place where I can think straight and this isn't it. Much to my fortune, I happened to be just across the street from my favorite "watering hole" and since my probation is over, I can now legally ponder my situation over a drink.

I trot in like I usually do and take a seat at the bar which luckily was pretty slow at the moment and since there were very few ponies around, it was quiet enough to think. Frosty Mugs trotted over and I could tell right away that he could tell that I was in a really bad way right now. He also picks and chooses his battles and when somepony looks really fucked up, he'll usually just take their order, pour their drink and leave them alone with their thoughts.

I asked for the whole bottle of Applejack Daniels and laid a hefty pile of bits on the bar along with a nice tip. I didn't bother to count them, I can't be bothered with that right now. Just as I'm about to begin drowning my sorrows away like the pathetic drunken loser I was before, I get a light tap on my shoulder that would probably end up saving my life.

"Caddy?" A familiar bubbly voice said behind me.

I turned around to see a sight for sore eyes in the form of my loyal, hardworking employee and friend Derpy, the look in her eyes matching those I've gotten from other ponies all day. I need a friend to talk to so badly, you have no fucking idea.

"Derpy!" I beamed as I hugged the gray pegasus whom I once had the pleasure of using as a cock sleeve. "Oh my god, Derpy, I've just had the worst fucking day! I don't know what to do! I need help, I'm afraid I'm gonna go crazy and hurt somepony!"

"I can tell that you're upset..." Derpy said very calmly as she put a comforting hoof on my shoulder. "Why don't you come on over there with me and we can all talk about it?"

Derpy then pointed over to a table in the back corner of the bar where the smiling faces and waving hooves of all my staff members who work for me at my store waited to embrace me and help me with my very many problems. I need them more than ever now and I'm not going to refuse the help they wish to offer. I set the bottle back down on the bar, get up off the stool I sat upon and trotted over to the table and took a seat.

I spent hours pouring my heart out to my employees and as such, violated my own policy of fraternizing with them outside of work. Why have I done this to myself for so long? All this time, I had been depriving myself of friendship with the ponies I spend most of my time with. I was such a fool! I've done nothing but hurt myself by pushing others away for all these years and if not for these ponies, I would end up dead, if not from suicide, then from me drinking myself to death or whatever.

Over the hours we spent together, we all shared some laughs and tears alike. I needed their advice and they gave me their best. Instead of running away from my situations or drinking in attempt to numb my pain, I need to tackle them head on. Now that I realize that I'm not alone in this, I can trot home tonight with the hopes that Chrissy is still there so that she and I may work together to form a solution to our dilemma.

I can feel what was once my frozen heart melting more and more with each stone cold sober step I take towards home. I truly love Chrysalis. I want to see her again and I want to see the faces of my newborn offspring. I want to be there for her and for them as we watch them grow up. This intense pain in my chest is the best pain that could ever happen to me and though it hurts so bad, I know that it's the melting and softening of what my rock hard, black as coal heart once was.

Upon reaching home, I find that I'm not too late and I see my love bug laying on my sofa next to a box of tissues as our babies crawled all over her and wondered where their father had went. I'm here for you now, kids, and I'm not going anywhere! I can tell that Chrissy had been crying but now I waste no time drying her tears with a passionate kiss as our foals cheered upon noticing my return. Once again, several of our babies begin crawling all over me and the last of the ice that had petrified my heart for so long had finally all melted away.

I want to get a good look at these little guys who share half of my DNA. One of the little tykes clings to my chest and I pick him up in my hooves and look into the sweet little green eyes that look just like mine and I couldn't help but well up and turn the waterworks back on. These little guys are perfect. They're beautiful. They're wonderful. They're mine.

"Chrissy?" I ask as I take her hoof in mine and kneel on the floor before her.

"Y-yes, Darling?" Chrysalis stutters as she begins shedding a series of more happy tears.

"We're gonna need a bigger house. Whaddaya say?"

"Yes...I will."

Author's Note

*takes a bow* Hope you enjoyed that crap. This was really fun to right as I put more of myself than ever into this one. Thanks for being there for my and tolerating me. I wouldn't be who I am today without MLP and the brony fandom. Catch my humble opinion on the end of the series on youtube. My username on YT is the same as here, "Caddy Finz". Thanks for everything. I love you all.