"Cahn you please pahss the sawlt?"

"I'm sorry, what was that darling?"

"The salt, can you pass it?"

A dainty giggle, she passes the salt.

The southern belle sprinkles salt, bewildered. "Whut?"

"Darling, we both know that I am a lady and that I would never stoop so low as to nitpick on the unnecessary, but do you really think I'm going to let that go?" She gently slices her lettuce.

The third mare at the table remains quiet. She sips tea.

"Whut awn urth arr ya'll talking a' baout?

"Darling, you spoke like me just now, didn't you?" She reservedly munches her lettuce.

"Eye whut?" She gnaws at her apple.

"'Cahn you please pass the salt?' You said that, just like me when I'm, ahem... ohffecting a Cahnterlawht awksent." Two ponies make food noises.

"Cayn ya'll please pas tha' sawlt?"

"You heard it, darling, right?" She gesticulates at the mare adjacent, in response the adjacent's expression gets even and she sips reservedly.

"Ah didn't do eny such thin-thang." The pony sly-ly sips.

Thus, the accuser of the moments' hooves gently hit the table in accusation. "You were about to say 'thing,' wuhren't you?"

"Eye didn'-"

"Ah, there it is again, 'Eye' 'I'....isn't it? Oh shirley suhmpony caughwt that!" She points her hoof with flaming gossip 'Oh-oh-oh'-esque tone.

"Ah meen, dag'nabbit, ya'll know whut I mean, raight?" She gestures of support from the remaining mare at the table, who remains silent.

Feeling slightly betrayed, the accused, fiddles with an apple core. All the mares remain silent, amidst the clink of stirring tea.

They nibble at their respective nourishment.

"Whell, Iye think that-"

"Eugh, for Celehstia's sake, I can always count on you darling."/"Whay to bayck ah gurl up, hoarsefeyhthers, mayorfrend!" They mumble in simultaneous annoyance.

"Ohkay, Iy'll just be quiet then." A bunny, at her hooves admonishes her with a furious fluffy paw and sighs.

"Oooowhh, yure right Iy apaulajayez, I shood be more issurtive. I agree, you did say 'Cahn you pass tha sawlt?."

"Ya'll ar' kookier thenn' a wiy-yuld, huwngry pearuhspright." She chucks the apple core away then idly chews on a piece of hay.

"Why-yuld?" Her wings twitch to attention.

There is a silence. The bunny at their feet is liberal with the salt.

"Don't you mean wah-yuld?" She muses with her magic betwixt a fork.

The rhythmic clinking caused by the throes of 'Please-stop-you're-killing-me' amusement.

A gentle giggle./ A hearty and unladylike chortle starts to crescendo. "Yew sed 'why-yuld' juhst liyke me."/"Ohehahu, huhuhu-darhuhhuh-ling, I'm so sor-hawh-hahahahah-suh-suh- s-hahahuorry. I jus-jus-huh-uhehehaahahuhuhuhuh fuh-hahahahahaha-ju-ju-usthuh-yoo-haaahaaa-ff-fffuuuuUUNNNNeeeYHAH.......HAH....HUH.......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHeeeeuuUUUHHHHAHAHAH!!!"

The guilty party covers her blush in the shadow of her hat. "OH-whale-whh-whrur'ya'll sew cunsurnd abaot tha way ah talk, enyhaow."

Amidst munching on lettuce, the bunny cocks an ear. The shier of the two ponies chews unceremoniously.

"Dahling... I thawht it wuz rahtha sehksi."

"Skesis??" The bunny corrects her with a firm-pawed bop on the head, a blush in response. "O-uh...sexy..me tewhuhhu."

All ponies present sip amidst an idle crunching.

Her hat conceals beguiled blushing. "Uhh-thu-thaynks, Ah gay-ass."

The bunny, spewing carrot, cries with laughter. There is the sound of uproarious snorts and unladylike hilarity.

Author's Note

A little interaction piece. I wanted something simple that I enjoyed writing. I guess I would call it something like linguistic fiction. 1 2 3 4 ~~5~~

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