The Best Troller In ALL Of Equestria

"Is this a joke?"

Princess Celestia awoke as the moon was setting over the horizon. She got out of her luxurious bed, and noticed that something was off. Though she couldn’t quite put her hoof upon it, she decided whatever it was, it wasn't all that important to pay much attention to it.

Walking to her balcony, she gazed out at the beauty of the land known as Equestria. Princess Celestia was ready to rule the day with as much care for all living things as possible, like she had always done every other morning. While she lifted the sun, she marveled at the warmth of its rays. Her colorful hair shined and waved to the vast, and open world while she greeted a flock of birds flying by.

"Good morning!"

Soon after, she was walking to the throne room to see her sister off when she remembered something. She had forgotten to feed her pet phoenix. She turned around and was just about to return to her room when she felt a bump on her rear end. Squealing from the unexpectedness of this, she turned around to see Cleans Well, the best maid in the palace lying on the floor rubbing her head. As she looked up to see her beloved princess, she gasped.

"Oh, no… I’m so, so sorry for bumping into you!"

Princess Celestia giggled, and said, "It’s quite alright, simply be careful with where you're headed next time."

The maid got up and made an extremely suggestive comment. "Huh? Wait… You’re not going to make me kiss your plot???"

As soon as her ears received this message, Celestia's eye’s widened in embarrassment. She turned around, and asked, "Excuse me?! What did you just say?"

The maid bowed before her ruler, and pleaded for forgiveness. "I'm so sorry! Your Highness, please! Don't banish me to the moon!"

Princess Celestia shook her head to try and tell herself she misunderstood what was going on. "Calm yourself. All I want to know is what you say previously, my subject?"

Princess Celestia asked this in a far calmer tone of voice. Her subject stood up, her posture portraying an utter sense of nervousness. "You usually make me either kiss, or lick your plot."

Blushing cheeks could be seen more so on the princess than the maid’s. Princess Celestia finally decided to accept this as nothing more than a prank of sorts, and giggled about it while her subject stayed rooted with a confused expression. When the princess noticed she wasn’t laughing along, she asked, "You're serious, aren’t you?"

The maid nodded her head, and the princess just backed away slowly.

"I have... some royal duties to attend to… So, uh, you know what? Just carry on with your work," She said, looking for any excuse to get away.

Leaving the poor maid behind, Celestia returned to her room as she had intended to do so in the first place, fed her pet, and then began heading back to the throne room. She passed by the library, and was just then approaching her destination. Just before the entrance, however, was the usual row of stallions that guarded their posts. As she passed by them, she said, "Good day, everypony. Keep up the fine work."

Each one she went by started giving a concerned look to one another. Just before entering, Princess Celestia heard one of the stallions whisper a question.

"Did she grope any of you? Cause she didn’t do that with me this time."

Her Highness stopped in place to listen to the next comment. "Nope. I feel pretty neglected."

At that, she turned to her guards and asked, "What was that?"

The guards all gulped simultaneously, and the one closest to her said, "Well… You usually grope us while we're on duty."

The princess found herself blushing once again. "I would never do such a thing!"

The guards looked at one another with baffled faces. "This is a joke, right?"

Princess Celestia drew a heavy sigh and decided to leave the guards without an answer. As she entered the throne room, she noticed her sister wasn’t inside waiting for her like she usually was. Celestia soon exited the room after not being able to locate her sister, and asked the guards where she might be. They responded by claiming she was probably in her room.

Princess Celestia walked to her sister’s, and knocked before entering. All she heard was the sound of screaming, and the sharp slashing of steel swords. She barged in due to fear of what might be happening in there only to find Princess Luna sitting on her bed magically holding some device. In front of her was more machinery which was completely unfamiliar to Celestia. A motion picture box flickered before Luna's face, and brightened the room. It hung on the wall with a black box sitting underneath. Wires connected the two as though they wouldn't work separately.

"What do you want, oh great sister of mine? Can you not see me playing Skyrim right now?" Luna asked as the person on the screen decapitated what looked like a local villager.

Princess Celestia sat down and asked what this was. Princess Luna pressed a button in the middle of her hoof held device and looked at her sister with a raised eyebrow. "Is this a joke? You know this game. You’ve even played it before."

Princess Celestia looked very puzzled by such a statement, and asked, "Game? You’re… Playing this?"

Luna continued with killing people, and said, "Of course... You’re joking with me, right? Look, I’m not at all interested in this silly prank you're trying to pull on me. It won't work. For all I know, this is just a mind game you’re testing out to see if... to try and get me to… Well, what form of incest wouldn’t you try with me?"

Luna’s sister gasped, and asked, "What? I wouldn’t do anything of the sort! Why would you even suggest something so degrading?"

Luna, stopping her game again, and looked at her sister sternly. "Your sarcasm sucks." Celestia continued to claim she wasn’t being sarcastic, however, causing Luna to laugh. "Alright, I will entertain you, then." As she cast a lie detector spell on Celestia’s lips, she told her to say she was serious just one last time.

Princess Celestia inhaled some air, and said in the most modest voice she could, "I’m not joking."

Luna stopped smiling and looked her sister up and down. Finally realizing Celestia’s mane was colored differently, she asked, "What’s with the new style?"

Celestia curled her hair with her hoof. "You mean my mane? It's always been like this. There's nothing new about it."

Luna’s distanced herself from Celestia a little bit after hearing that statement. She looked like she had just heard the world’s biggest lie, but it wasn’t a lie, and she knew it. The lie detector spell was still active, which told Luna her sister had to have been telling the truth. Celestia got up, and said, "Look, I’ll be in the library. Just come visit me once everypony comes to their senses, and decides to end these silly shenanigans."

As she exited, Luna scanned her room with a trap finder spell, but it showed no justly planted secrets. As she pondered this, she made sure to save her game, and exited the room while telling herself she would have to do a little bit of investigating in order to make sure Celestia wasn’t ill, or something.

"Who knows what could possibly be going on at this point," Luna said as she left with the door cracked.