The Best Troller In ALL Of Equestria

"I’m NOT joking!"

Princess Celestia sat in the library reading a book or two, but she found that they had all been changed from their original state. Instead of magic and mistakes, it was magic and molestation, among other ridiculous titles. Her Highness rolled her eyes while saying to herself, "Typical… They even went as far as to change the books just to fool me."

Celestia had never been pranked this harshly before. By now, she had accepted that Luna was the one behind all of this. Who else could it possibly be? "Probably revenge for putting her on the moon. I thought we'd be over such things! Although, why make it sound like I molest ponies? That's the only thing I can't figure out."

Just as she was putting the book away in its rightful place, Twilight Sparkle entered the room. She saw Princess Celestia and greeted her with a kind smile.

"Hello there, Princess. What’s up?"

The Princess giggled knowing there was no way Twilight would be part of this tomfoolery. "Oh, just trying to catch up on some reading. You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve been having.”

As Twilight Sparkle walked on by her Highness, she said, "Well, if I might say, your plot is looking extremely perky today."

The Princess’s jaw dropped as she said, "Not you too!"

Twilight turned to face Celestia, and said, "Not me too, what? I thought you liked me complimenting your ass?"

Hearing her student suggest something so sexual and curse put Celestia in a furious state of mind. "You watch your mouth! It’s one thing to joke around like this, but it’s another to use such language."

Twilight looked ready to cry. She had never seen the Princess lose her temper like this. As she walked up to her, she said, "But, I thought you and I… Why, I thought you liked it when I talked dirty to you!"

Princess Celestia closed her eyes, and said, "This prank is becoming a serious nuisance today. I can understand Luna getting the guards to do it. I can even accept the maids, and the butlers... However, my own pupil?"

Her eyes opened, and stared at the purple mare with annoyance. "I had expected better."

Twilight, now more hurt than any other pony could ever be started shedding tears right before the Princess. Her Highness’s face turned from anger to confusion when she saw Twilight's tears drip from her eyes.

"Fine! I guess… I guess we're through, then… If you need me, I'll… I’ll be in my room, crying my eyes out!" She choked through her sobs.

Twilight galloped away, and Celestia just stood there with a frown, baffled with what had just happened. As she decided to relax for the time being, and return to her studies, Luna came in. Celestia saw her sister, and immediately faced away, not wanting to talk to the troublesome prankster. Luna, who was becoming just as annoyed, asked, "Did you just make Twilight cry?"

Princess Celestia gave her sister her attention, and claimed, "It was an act, as I’m sure you already know. I’m not having fun right now. This is a horrible joke on your part!"

Luna sighed, and said, "You just don't understand, do you? This is NOT a joke! I’m NOT joking! If anything, it’s you that is pranking us!"

Celestia, ready to burst, said, "You know I’m not joking because you lie detected me yourself. You know I’m being serious. So why do you persist with this joke, Luna?"

Celestia’s sister face hoofed herself, and said, "Look, I know you think we’re playing a prank, but were not."

Princess Celestia got up, and said, "I’m done with this. I understand that you think this is all too funny, but to me, it’s just degrading!"

As Celestia exited the room, she said she needed to go pick up some apples from Big Macintosh who was delivering them that morning. Luna, of course, followed.

As Celestia approached the gate, she was extremely offended by the sight covering the walls. Posters of her looking furious, and words on the bottom that said obey hung everywhere. She commanded with a powerfully irritated voice to the guards to strip the walls of these posters. While they did, Big Mac approached the entrance, and was brought in by the regulator. When he saw her Highness approaching, he drew a heavy sigh, and said, "Time to just... enjoy it as best you can, Mac…" He gulped while some sweat formed on the back of his neck. "Just enjoy it."

The Princess greeted the stallion with a kind grin, and said, "Fine day, Big Mac."

Big Mac shook his fairly prepared head. "Eeyup."

The Princess walked by while Big Mac closed his eyes, and thought, "Here it comes… Huh?"

She simply raised an apple off the caravan, and proceeded with munching on it for a moment before saying, "This is simply scrumptious!"

Before she could walk off, Big Mac felt obligated to ask, "Uh, P-Princess…? Aren’t you gonna… uh… That is..." The Princess turned around, and asked what he was getting at. Big Mac gulped his fears away, and said, "Aren’t you gonna… you know… suck my cock, or something?"

The Princess, standing there feeling like a complete fool asked in a rhetorical tone, "This joke has reached all the way to Ponyville?!" She gritted her teeth from anger as she said, “I am NOT amused. This has gone on far too long!”

Poor Big Mac didn’t know what to think. He backed away slowly while apologizing. The princess calmed herself thoroughly, and said "No… No, it’s alright. I'll just be going." As she left, her eyebrow twitched from pure irritation. While she walked off to the right of Big Mac, Luna approached from the left. Big Mac looked at her, and asked, "What in Equestria has gotten into your sister today?"

Luna shook her head signaling she hadn’t a clue while saying, "I don't know, but I'm going to find out."

She continued to follow her sister closely. Once again, they found themselves in the royal library. As Luna entered, she made accusations which could be fairly justified by now.

"You are not my sister." By saying this, she caused Celestia great amounts of agitation. "You are an impostor. You're nothing more but a shadow of what ponies want, but don’t have. Cast a lie detector spell on me, and convince yourself that this isn’t a joke."

Her sister agreed, and did so.

"Now then, my dear sister," Luna said. "You originally would go about the castle molesting everypony, but now you claim you don’t! Why? This isn’t the sister I've come to know, and love. You aren’t my sister!"

Celestia, now believing this was all just a misunderstanding, said, "But, I’m not an impostor. It’s me, Luna! I don’t know what’s going on. Perhaps a brief brainstorm might help?"

Luna lowered her head, and thought hard. "Maybe… you hit your head, and just don’t remember being that way…? Or, maybe…"

Celestia’s head bobbed as she came up with an idea. "Is it possible that I could be from another universe?"

Celestia’s sister looked at her closely, and asked how that was possible. Celestia walked up to a bookshelf, grabbed one, opened it to a certain page and began to explain.

"The multiverse... or meta-universe, as many ponies tend to call it, is the hypothetical set of multiple possible universes including but not limited to the historical universe we consistently experience. It essentially comprises everything that exists and can exist, which is the entirety of space, time, matter, and energy as well as the physical laws and constants that describe them. In other words, Luna, for every possible outcome, there could be a universe where I molest everypony, and then one in which I don’t."

Celestia, putting the book back in its place, looked at her alternate universe sister only to see the most confused look on her face.

She rolled her eyes, and said, "I’m from a parallel universe and we need to get me back home. Okay?"

Luna shook her head, and said, "Oh, I see… Well, can we do it?"

Celestia smiled, and said, "It will take a lot of power, but yes, I think we can do this… Wait… If I'm here… Then… THEN… your world’s Celestia is… Oh, no… Quick! We need act NOW!”

The two sparked their horns, a bright light filled the library, and then…