No Horns Allowed

She missed waking up to warmth: be it a sun raised not by her own horn, the intimate embrace of a lover, or the succor of her sister at her side. Now only cool marble, silk sheets, and a cold fireplace greeted her any more. While centuries of routine had made the service staff waking her up irrelevant she restored wood to the hearth and ignited it, a failed attempt to chase away the chill night air. A common misconception was that Celestia was a morning pony, quite the opposite. She used to love long nights of drinking and making merry in an age where photography hadn’t been invented yet and the average life span of one of her little ponies was at most four decades. Now the ever watchful eye of the paparazzi had ruined most of her late night shenanigans, other than a twice a year trip to a certain pub she never went out any more. And even then, had to hide who and what she was, even if she was sure the racist plot hole that ran it knew who it was at the end of his bar. She’d tried on multiple occasions to get him to work for her in the royal kitchens in her official capacity, but considering his previous employer he supposed that would be seen as a betrayal of sorts. Ethereal mane crimped in time honored by the regalia all equinity associated with her sovereignty Princess Celestia raised her magic to the heavens with a neck only slightly bent by time. Heavy is the head that wears the crowd.
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It barely seemed like the sun had fully set before rising again on the far western horizon as Spike looked out over the spreading capital of Canterlot. His boss/teacher/mother figure still snored away clutching a small doll she’d had before he had been hatched. She hardly ever slept with it anymore, filly things for filly times being put away for marehood. But she was nervous, or perhaps terrified, it was difficult to tell with Twilight sometimes when Celestia had an assignment for her. It seemed almost perverse in nature that Twilight would strive to please a Mistress that in the same set of orders terrified her to her core. His reverie was ended abruptly as a rarely set alarm clock shocked her to wakefulness. Her mane clinging to her face and horn still sweaty from the nightmare that plagued her slumber. But he would protect her. He had to. If it was from bullies, or library late fee fines, or malnutrition from over studying he would be her stalwart protector. Nothing would stand in his way, even if it was her.
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The farm hadn’t been this crowded in quite a while. So many bodies camped out in the yard, in the barns, pretty sure even a couple of cousins bunked with the chickens in their small house. Applejack herself was in the cellar, the cool air and scent of apples reminding her of times spent playing hide and seek with her brother before she had to take up the mantle of head of the workforce for Sweet Apple Acres. Her own bed occupied by well aged members of the Apple Clan needing more than a blanket and cool stone to sleep peacefully on. But she didn’t mind, not in the slightest! Hardwork and Sacrifice were the two hallmarks of her family and Earth Ponies in general. Somepony had to grow the crops, harvest the food stuffs, and process the plants into things everypony could eat. With no small pride she stretched the nights chill from her well toned legs and basked in the glow of knowing she started the great chain of civilization in her own little corner of Equestria. Donning her signature setsun she trotted upstairs to fire up the ovens for the days labors. With the whole clan here she was confident she could provide everything needed for today’s Summer Sun Celebration. With the Princess and her retinue, there will be way more than usual at this city based fair and the bits were going to be necessary for the future. Always one to put nose to the grindstone, or in this case oven door, Applejack stoked the fires with in, and with out.
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All the woods were quiet. The Guard had been by recently and they had slain or chased away anything bigger than a Flyder and while Fluttershy didn’t care for violence of any kind she understood wanting to feel safe. Chewing her bottom lip she brushed her long silken mane as she absentmindedly looked into the dark acres behind her cottage. She smiled ruefully when her contemplations were interrupted by a familiar thumping of paw on empty food bowl. Chittering in a language only rabbits could understand she busied herself with her normal animal care routine. Veggies here, nuts there, and ofcourse unthinking fish and insects for the carnivores. The dichotomy of being terrified of being eaten yet handing out once living things to her animal friends also left her with a confused introspection that made her question her life choices. But those worries faded at the happy sounds of her critters chewing and chirping their thanks. Mixing some mealworm powder into her own oatmeal, a guilty pleasure, she giggled mischievously that if her friend Rarity know how she kept her mane and coat so healthy she might turn green instead of white!
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Bored. Boooooring. Bored boring boredom. Are the ring boards, or boards of rings. Would a ghost go boooo at a ring? She would probably giggle at that. That’s what Granny Pie taught her. But there was nothing scary in Ponyville. With Mr. and Mrs. Cake out on their anniversary trip to Phillydelphia she had the shop all to herself. But it was closed. The Mayor had said that she wasn’t allowed to fracture the time space continuum to man the register, the display case, the floor, the ovens, and the decoration station any more. Apparently three letters of investigation from Canterlot were two too many, and it was giving some Unicorns headaches there every time they reviewed their readings of her activities. Silly billies! You change the results of the experiment by observing it, at least that’s what the books with the funny math in them said. Thinking of funny, it seems like that weird grumpy mcgrumperson across the alleyway is going to be open today. Maybe she’d make him a cupcake, or a pie, or a scone! He was a cook, and she was a baker and he thought that made them rivals. But Pinkie didn’t like fighting with anypony, everypony should be friends. Even if they yelled and cursed and didn’t let certain ponies into their shop. She still wondered about that. It seemed super duper silly to not let a third of ponies in because they had a horn. But no matter! There was going to be a TON of new ponies in Ponyville today and she had to check her confetti and streamer supplies. She had a twitchy itch that said she’d be welcoming a new town’s member and was so excited she forgot all about the strange Pub out her window or the large barrels of something being loaded in by hoof. Itty bitty paper squares don’t compress themselves into bombs you know!
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A light night spent tying ribbons and bunting left Rarity in quite a state. How can a mare get her beauty sleep with so much noise going on at. . .oh dear, it was that late already. Even with Sweetie Bell finally back with her parents for Summer Vacation she still wasn’t getting enough rest. Too much to do, too much to sew, and too much to worry about. Would the Princess like the colors? Would the decorations match the guard uniforms. Would that hunk of a stallion Blueblood be there?!? Heart all a twitter as she went through her usual beauty routine she opted to short it a bit to only two hours to get out and bite to eat before she finished with the Town Hall decorations. It was there that her event coordination side project would come to fruition and might even get noticed by the nobles traveling with the Princess! Not for the first time she cursed the need for cheap land to build her flagship business but what she would have to pay for a temporary stand on a ill-traveled Canterlot side street for a day would cover her overhead in Ponyville for a month and she was on the main drag a short trot from the train station! Sadly bags donned, eye bags covered, and feed bags to be filled the Lady of Carousel Boutique made her fabulous way onto the stage of Ponyville. One way or another this would be a Summer Sun Celebration nopony would soon forget!
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Ponies thought Rainbow Dash was lazy. They were wrong, she was just resting up. Her aerial acrobatics and occasional monster thrashing were proof of that. Ponyville wasn’t big enough to warrant a constant guard presence or even much more than a police station with an officer or two that spent more time holding up the bar at Sugar Cube Corner than actually busting heads. Not that all problems had to be solved with violence. Some could be ignored, or shouted down, or just glared at. But Flutters was better at that last one. Nope. She wasn’t lazy, just resting. You never knew when some hungry critter or strange creature would encroach on rightful pony land. Pegesai had a long history of warriors, protectors, and adventurers. But there just wasn’t much of that to be had anymore. Equestria was settled all but for the few untamed lands like the Everfree which never submitted to their equine masters. It was half the reason Dash was practicing for the Wonderbolts near the deadly forest. Nothing keeps one’s senses sharp like the imminent threat of being eaten by monsters at any time. Nevermind the only way you can practice rescuing ponies is if they’re in danger. And you can’t just throw somepony to Timberwolves to try and rescue them. Even Dash knew that was wrong, and swore to Mayor Mare she’d never do it, again. Ugh, she’d have to get up soon, these clouds aren't going to buck themselves. And if the Mayor didn’t have her hide if the Summer Sun Celebration was ruined by errant cloud cover her ego definitely wouldn’t let her rest until she’d paid for her mistake. Not many ponies knew Dash rode herself really, really hard. She had to. Failure was not an option, no matter how many times her parents assured her otherwise. There was once course set, one path before her. Fame. Fortune. And fifteen minutes of more shut eye.
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1. Wake up, shower, brush teeth, comb mane, file hooves.
2. Get Spike ready to travel, pack ink, scrolls, quills, and reagents.
3. Pack portable library, one must never be without books!
4. Confirm with guards that personal dormitory would be locked and none would enter to remove any reading materials of any kind from it.
5. ~~Double check with guards that~~
6. Read Myths and Fantasies about Nightmare Moon, just to be sure.
7. Arrange for carriage to transport to Ponyville for SSC inspection.
8. Quickly inspect preparations, double check city ordinance for compliance and safety.
9. Locate nearest Library for further study and planning.
10. Join Princess Celestia for the Celebration.
11. ~~Make friends.~~
12. Return to Canterlot ASAP.

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It had taken most of the night be he was done, all the food and drinks were ready for today’s event. And come Tartaurus or high water it was going to be a memorable one. Sure the Mayor can freak out and lose her head. But when you spend your whole life being able to see into the very near future and planning accordingly then suddenly not being able to see past midnight it made one worried. Blackbriar just finished putting the last of the garnishes on the platter before him when a platoon of identical guards filled into his place of business. More than a few scowled at the sign a few feet from the door. A quick head count had them at four pegasi and six earth ponies with zero unicorns. Sliding the vial of acid back into its compartment the grumpy cook put on his closest approximation of a service smile.

“Well, well, well, look at what we have here, half a guard escort in my little pub. To what do I owe the honor of hosting the Princess herself in my house?” the smirking earth pony snarked.

Now all scowling, the guards parted and made a protective circle around their charge. And for the first time in years a creature with a magic horn entered the bar. Casting only a minor glance at the sign, she waved a wing to dismiss the guards back outside once their security check was done. Begrudgingly, they silently followed their master’s decree but not before glaring killing intent a the still smiling stallion behind the bar.

“Hello again Briar, still a prickly pony I see, I’ll have my usual.”

“I figured as much, got a whole keg of your Firebrand Whiskey right here. Was no mean feat stealing it from the Royal Larders. That Kibitz plays for keeps, he’s a good hire.”

Sighing as she curled a fetlock around the tall glass, partaking of the Earth Pony made liquor in the fashion it was made out of respect for it’s creators and taking a long pull, “Too good I’m afraid. I can’t sneak out more than twice a year anymore, as you well know, much less raid the kitchens at night. I ordered him to keep me on this diet and he’s taken to it like the Word of God. If I had a legion of him a few hundred years ago the Griffon Wars would have gone very, very differently.”

“Aye, that’s the problem with us hard arses,” knocking back a mouthful of something from a bottle so old the label had faded into being virtually blank, “we stick to our rules so strongly we sacrifice flexibility for strength. Makes us predictable, which is a weakness unto itself.”
Nodding at the wisdom, the Princess of the Sun side eyed the utterly unafraid pony before her, “I’d be lying if I said I’m not going to miss this. There are so few of my little ponies that treat me like a mare. Too much reverence, too much worship, and you treat me like any other pony that sits at your bar. I’ve always marveled at that. You know what I am, what I can do. And I mean REALLY do, back from the wild times, the bad times. And you still sit there with that damnable smirk on your face eating, what are we eating?”

Moving a new tray over for them to sample from, a myriad of choices in two and threes naught more than a bite or two ready for the taking, “Well, that might be because I’m NOT one of your little ponies Celly. I’m my own stallion, even if you pay the bills here. And I’m not afraid of you because I know your Sister has and will do so much worse. And as for your other question, these are canapes. And not the fancy tripe they serve in Canterlot now, I mean traditional starters to a meal, small samples of what’s to come. An enticement of palate, to stir the hunger, and awaken the senses. I figure we’re going to be here for quite a while if the Prophecy rings true and I don’t believe in giving it to a mare before buying her dinner first.”

Color coming to her cheeks the courtly mask of the Princess falls away as she gives a most unladylike snort, “Brave of you to assume I would accept your advances, and we only just met.”

“Give me a break Celly, only three sentients drink that horse piss in your glass and the other one has been dead for about 1200 years. So bottoms up, and then bottoms up, we’ve got a lot of living to do before the dark comes.”

Clinking glasses with the crass earth pony before her she sheds the regalia in a neat pile as she takes another bite and swallows, “the let us pesume for your sake I do before it does.”
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The dark.
The dark was her friend.
Her only friend.
And now it was time.
Time to go back.
Time to get revenge. Time scratch and itch that had been gnawing on her pelt for 1000 years.
Teeth too long and and sharp glinted in the pale moonlight as her shadow receded from the lunar surface. Magic forming armor and essence she powered up her horn. First, the castle, then the elements, then her sister, and finally the world!