Untitled Displaced Fanfiction

King Jonah was busy watching Halloween II by Rob Zombie on his portable Blu-Ray player when Marrow knocked and asked if Jonah could be bothered meeting some subjects.

"Sure." said Jonah.

He walked down the platinum steps in his gold slippers and saw before him three starving ponies.

"Please, sir! Can we have some food for our village! We are hungry and don't want to die" said the middle one.

"Alright!" said King Jonah before whispering in Marrow's ear.

She nodded approvingly.

"Finger Marrow's poo-poo hole. Each time you do it successfully, you get a third of a chicken. If all three of you d it successfully, you get a whole chicken." said King Jonah.

The three ponies obliged with gusto and soon they had six chickens to take back to their village. That means they fingered her butthole 18 times. In rotation of course. Jonah wasn't an animal. After having exercised his righteous will over the populace once again, Jonah did a little jig. And then Cthulu popped out of the broom closet.

Jonah screamed in terror and ran away. His loyal and brave servant Marrow was also scared away. That was how spooky Cthulu was.

Jonah couldn't figure out what to do! He taped his glock to a fireaxe and then taped that fireaxe to another glock that Melchior made for shits and giggles. With his ultimate weapon, Jonah headed out into the now dark and foreboding palace. Cthulu jumped out and tried to drive him insane but Jonah simply whacked him in the face with his ultimate weapon and shot him with both glocks before decapitating Cthulu.

Jonah breathed a sigh of relief as the lights in the palace turned back on. Marrow staggered back up to him, shivering.

"Is it over?" she said.

"Get me those ponies who fingered your butthole." said Jonah, curtly "They are worthy enough to live in the palace and hide in the bunker with us. In life,you must take what you need, even if it means fingering ponies in the butthole."

"Right away, sir." said Marrow.

To Be Continued...