Untitled Displaced Fanfiction

Jonah addressed his new slaves/soldiers/muses/free men/nobles/gentry/friends.

“Hello.” he said to the Mane Six.

They gratefully nuzzled against his body in a vaguely sexual manner. Jonah was taken aback by this and began to cry.

“Why? Why?” he screamed.

He violently kicked a table.

“Don’t do that again! Ever!” Jonah cried.

The Mane Six simply stood back in stunned silence. Jonah began to breathe heavily.

“Pose nude for me, Twilight.” he said.

“GET ME MY GODDAMNED EASEL, CANVAS AND OTHER ASSORTED ART SUPPLIES!” he then screamed to his servants.

Both Twilight and his servants obliged. Jonah then did a nude painting of Twilight.

“You are going to fight a war for me.” said Jonah to the Mane Six “A war against sin.”

Pinkie’s power armour scraped and creaked from the recoil of her minigun. Corpses lay bleeding all over the land. No more degenerate than Jonah or his associates. Those who were worthy were bunged into the worthy-bin installed on the crotch of these hulking exosuits. No resurrection magic for them. The end was coming.

“Found another instance of PDA!” announced Marrow.

“Slot the lovebirds into the bin.” said Applejack, fantasising about eating an apple pie to the quick-fire rhymes of Jaden Smith.

Meanwhile, Jonah was busy being nailed onto an upside-down crucifix. Such was life.

He had graduated some of his slaves to princesses and he was instantly regretting it. All would be equal in the bunker and in the New Equestria.

To Be Continued...