Gray Rock

Luna in Shadow

DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.

I wake refreshed and in total darkness. I still feel Celestia's hand in mine, and the darkness isn't due to her wing covering me. We've arrived in total darkness.

"This isn't good," Celestia says as the tip of her horn lights and barely illuminates her face.

The purple miasma that surrounds me causes Celestia to flinch, but I recognize it. "Deploy armor," I intone, and I'm soon in full plate with a pickelhaube style helmet.

Celestia relaxes as Nightmare whispers in my ear, "I missed you."

"I heard," I say and Celestia chuckles as the lights come up on the throne room of Canterlot and a teen-aged Luna standing on the dias alone.

"We are ready Tantabus, do your worst," Luna says.

A filament of Nightmare shoots out of the armor and spears the blue smoke cloud approaching Luna, drawing back and laying it in my hands. "The door swings both ways," I tell Luna as her personal nightmare squirms in my grip, then tries to batter itself loose against the Nightmare-armor.

"You two were so interested in nightmares," Nightmare says without transforming away from being a complete suit of armor, "Let us see a nightmare, of darkness and the sun."

The intrigued Luna steps up and Celestia stands close. A moment later we are standing in a very different city. The buildings are alien to anything in Equestria as are the inhabitants. Neither pony is happy about the rushing humans passing through them without reacting, but we walk out into an open area, a fire break carved like a scar on the city, everything torn loose down to the soil.

"What happened here?" Celestia gasps at the denuded landscape.

"This isn't the attack, this is part of the defense," I say, the Tantabus has grown quiet in my hands, but I don't relax my vigilance or my grip, "This is the largest industrial city in this nation, which has been at war with the rest of the world for over three years, although they started their wars well before that. The chickens are coming home to roost, they've sown the wind, now they'll reap the whirlwind."

The sound is the first thing. An odd droning, the anti-aircraft guns firing. Then the Mustangs come, seeking out fighters and flak. Celestia and Luna gasp as a nearby gun is torn to pieces by guns and rockets of the escort fighters. And still the droning grows.

"What is that?" Luna asks, having caught a glimpse of the aluminum skins of the bombers lit from beneath by the fires already set. She shoves her mane out of her face as the wind is picking up severely.

"Death, in the greatest concentration that can be arranged," I say, verifying I still have a good grip on the Tantabus.

"Who are they hunting?" Celestia asks.

"This entire city," I reply.

The whistling of the bombs and the explosions and fires interrupt whatever Celestia replies. The Tantabus squirms and pecks at my armored hands as we are surrounded by fire, the flames on both sides of the fire break rage, a hurricane force wind fanning the flames like the bellows of a forge.

"We have to get these people to the river!" Celestia shouts.

"This isn't a dream, this is a reconstruction, this is my assumption of what happened from all I read," I tell Celestia, "But we can go to the river."

The nearest river is not huge, too deep and swift to wade across but not large enough to be navigable by more than a rowboat. The fires rage on both sides, the bridge is burnt to the stone piers, and the bodies on the river float peacefully by.

"They were boiled alive," Luna says, then gallops a short distance away. She's obscured by a few large metal objects that could have been trucks or buses once.

The Tantabus has gone as quiet as Celestia at this scene. She looks around in horror at the carnage beyond anything she can conceive.

"Or maybe she can conceive it," Nightmare says, "She does control the sun, and this is well within her capabilities."

What I'll show her next will be far more within her capabilities, I think as I walk towards Luna who is brushing off her knees and wiping her mouth.

"We wish to leave," Luna says, "This is not a night We wish to experience."

"We'll go to the day side," I say as I walk to the ruins of the bridge.

We reappear in the middle of a bustling street amid a city set in low hills and valleys. The skies are cloud covered, but that won't stop anything.

"There is not a fleet of shiny death hovering above those clouds, is there?" Celestia asks as she scans the skies.

"One plane, with one bomb," I say, and hold the quiescent Tantabus over my head, "Luna, you need to give up on your self-loathing, this thing is a product of your guilt and your mind." I lower my arms.

Which Alicorn is more gobsmacked: Luna, Celestia or Nightmare, is a toss up.

"You failed, but there is enough blame to spread around. You need to appreciate you were foolish, but so was Celestia, and at point of fact, you only managed to break your sister's heart. Whatever plans you had, whatever secret revenges you considered, whatever unworthy retaliation for imagined wrong you'd would rain down on others, you did none of them."

"I can hold that scene in my mind, do you think I want to enact it? Here or even on the people who wronged me? Never. Playing with an idea that you never bring out is not a crime. You and your sister need to forgive each other and forgive yourselves." I hold up the Tantabus. "Or this can never go away."

Luna bows her head, and Celestia encloses her in a wings-and-arms-hug. "I forgive you," Celestia says, "Can you forgive me?"

Luna looks up with watery eyes. "Of course my sister." Then she bows her head. "We - I cannot forgive myself."

"Then don't silently torture yourself. Do restitution, do good works, self-flagellation is just masturbation. You want to get a happy ending, earn it," I tell her, "There are things that need doing, then let's be polite, Princess Celestia is too political to sort out, but the new out-of-phase princess can blunder into and sweep the cobwebs away because she doesn't have 300 or more years of 'we've always done it this way', because you know a time when you didn't."

Luna tries to answer, finally just nodding.

"Good enough," I say and hold the Tantabus over my head, I don't want it splattering on me, "Let there be light."

The explosion is light first. Searing light. People who were slow roasted or boiled alive in Tokyo are burned to ash in an instant. Like the Tantabus, their shadows are burned into walls and streets. Like Tokyo, some are lit on fire. They have a few moments to scream before the sound and blast wave hits throwing anything not solidly anchored away from the epicenter.

The alicorns brace against the hot wind, although none of it touches them, even knowing it's a dream, the instinct is too strong. The buildings are set ablaze from the hot wind or flying debris. The wall of dust that has rushed out leaves a surreal scene of devastation, like a drop of water on a water color picture, the location under where the bomb exploded is erased or warped far beyond the normal.

"You've slain the Tantabus," Celestia says, "Let us be away from - here."

We'd transitioned before she'd finished.

"As horrible as that was, I think it served the purpose," I say. Content that Luna has seen her actions in the right proportion.

"I'm afraid I have no choice," Princess Celestia says, drawing herself up to her full height.

"Wha?" I exclaim.

"You must remain Nightmare's jailer for the rest of your unnatural life," Princess Celestia says as my armor returns to the form of Nightmare Moon.

"Yipee!" Nightmare says and sticks out a tongue at Princess Luna, then sticks out her tongue at me, while she's kissing me.

"Let us leave them," Celestia says, "To their punishment."

"How is that -?" Princess Luna's question and her craning neck to watch Nightmare's roaming hands vanish with the two.

Nightmare seems ill-equipped to get my clothes off, so she concentrates on hers.

Journal Entry Day 31

Nightmare is a good deal more adventurous, and patient than I'd expected. She'd later admitted all that death and terrorizing the Alicorn-sisters made her incredibly hot. Okay, if I want to get enthusiastically laid, I just need to freak out Celestia and Luna. That little revelation I'll add to the other journal. Since Celestia could use the laugh and Luna needs the stick out of her ass. I may add that to the other journal as well, maybe cleaned up a bit for Luna. Oh, and all that Royal We stuff, clear symptoms of split-personality or multiple possessions, that definitely goes into the other journal, and a plan to inform Princess Celestia without warning Luna that her continuing condition has been exposed.

It was fun finding out what pleases ponies, and Nightmare's asides on what I could do to the Bearers does spark a few lewd thoughts. Of course researching it at the library in Ponyville would completely freak out Future Princess Twilight.

It seems that I didn't have to return to Ponyville, Book-Horse was up in Canterlot, expecting to get me in the mood by showing me the library and her access to certain, special collections. Only to be frustrated by my already being in the library, and already deep in study. And already deep in my prank on the Bearers.

"Hey Gray Rock," Twilight said as she pranced up to my table, there were dozens of books on the table, at least a half dozen were lying open with book marks. She took in the titles she could read off the spines or covers. Parasitoid Biology, Life Cycle of The Spider Hawk, Parasitism, Parasitoids versus Parasites, Journal for Infections: Parasites Compilation. She got a quizzical look on her face. "I was going to get you access to one of the Special Collections, but you seem to be deep in research on something else."

"Yeah, they wouldn't let me into the adult section, but biology is biology, right?" I asked, "This stuff is fascinating, horrifying, but so educational. There was a series of horror films about this stuff, but I never thought it was based on real life."

Only Twilight would start putting together wasps laying their eggs in live spiders with the Bearers' pursuit of my attention. But you draw the points and she automatically puts a line through them. "Did Nightmare suggest this?" Twilight asked as she made the connections, "You've said she plays tricks on you."

"No, she's been really quiet about this, so I just decided to look into it from what I knew back home." I turned a book to let her see. "This one, if she can't lay her eggs in the male, the fertilized eggs eat her." I turn the book back. "It's amazing, and it clears up so many questions."

" 'Questions'?" she asked with a tremor in her voice.

"Yeah, mares all over the place, but stallions, rare as hen's teeth," I said, "Fascinating." Then I look up at her. "And I understand it all now, I talked it over with Princess Celestia, she said it was ridiculous."

Twilight smiled at her relief and nodded.

"But she was giving me a hug and a longing look while she was saying it. And your brother was looking positively stoic about the plans for his wedding," I said, "It all makes sense now."

Twilight looked like she was going to correct me, when 'wedding' landed in her mind. Imagine your favorite giant monster skydiving, that kind of landing. "Wait, Shining Armor's wedding?" she asked, her hair writhed out of place a bit of its own accord.

"Well, more implied than actually said, but - " And I was alone again.

Nightmare laughed herself sick, and I understand Shining Armor and Cadence got an earful from Twilight after they admitted they were planning to wed. Then they gave one right back to her about her completely missing they had been dating for years. Poor bookish Twilight had that rolling around in her head while all that parasitoid stuff was in there as well. Parasitoids? The critters that lay their eggs in other creatures as a source of nourishment for the larva.

I plan to let that simmer, and get back to the other Bearers, before I drop the next part. A few innocent questions from things Fluttershy and Pinkie have repeatedly mentioned and might be completely innocent and disconnected, but taken together and played serious, well, it should keep Nightmare in stitches.

On my walks around the castle grounds, I found Discord's statue. The Guard evidently saw me out there and called the nearest available Princess. What, in case I decided to release him? I'm going to have to figure out what exactly they thought I'd do.

Princess Luna walked into the clearing as I stared at the odd statue.

"So are they going to throw me in prison for being here?" I asked, as I walked around, keeping my eyes on the statue, "They just needed a heavy hitter in case."

Luna shied at my rather neutral tone. "There was concern why you were spending time here," Luna said.

"What was woven with the Elements appears to be weakening. Either you should assemble the Bearers and renew the spell, or prepare for his escape," I said as I completed my circumnavigation of the statue and turned my attention to Princess Luna.

She still hasn't fully regrown, but she's still a formidable force in full armor with a sword in her hand.

"You don't seem to be afraid of him," Princess Luna said, "Nor Nightmare, nor the Tantabus, is there anything you fear?"

"You and your sister could kill me out of hand for the merest hint of a concern on your part." I nodded at the sword she held and now seemed embarrassed about. "And I'd never know what I did or that it was coming," I said, "So what's to be afraid of from him? Or Nightmare, or Tantabus, or King Sombra, or Tirek, or any of the others. They won't kill me. It would be too much fun to torture or enslave me. I've dealt with real, evil people, they enjoy holding power over others. If you two suspect I'm a threat, you'll kill me without a word or a glance. And don't claim the Elements don't kill, I know what happened to Nightmare, I know what happened to your physical body when you got hit, and I know I would not survive either, let alone both simultaneously."

Princess Luna shifted uneasily at that disclosure. "You act so carefree, yet speak as if the axe-pony's blade hangs above your neck by a hair."

"Since I have no idea what might part that hair, I choose to be aware of it," I told her, "Yet not let it rule my life."

Luna sighed. "We - " She shivered and hastily corrected, "I also wanted to tell you to quit giving Twilight Sparkle nightmares. She and the other Bearers dreamt of subduing you with personal variations of seduction, treachery and violence, then implanting eggs in you, with a variety of horrifying means also dependant on their talents and personalities. The eggs hatched and the larval ponies ate their way out, some consuming your organs before bursting out of your husk."

" 'Personal and horrifying means'?" I asked desperately hiding a smile as Nightmare giggled in my ear.

Luna sighed. "Lady Rarity cut you open during unrelenting coitus, implanted her eggs, then sewed you up closed." Princess Luna was reverting to Luna, and turning rather green. "Lady Applejack - more general violence and rope rather than thread were involved and you did not survive implantation," Luna said, "Which was one of the more merciful versions."

"That is disturbing," I replied, "I take it you are unaware of the effect their pursuit had on my nightmares."

"I am aware that delving into your mind runs me afoul of Nightmare," Princess Luna said, having regained her composure, "That was something you should have discussed with Clear Brook."

"I think she was rather hoping I'd pick one or two and settle down," I admitted.

"That will require discussion," Princess Luna said as she turned away, "Immediately leave the area and do not return here." She told me as if I wouldn't dare disobey.

"Thank you for telling me one of the skeins," I replied and bowed.

Princess Luna didn't like that one bit, but didn't rise to the bait.

I'm creating in Luna's mind the image that she's Celestia's axe-pony. That she'll do the dirty deeds and that Celestia will reap the benefits. Once it's in place, I'll ask her how it feels, in front of Celestia. I have to feed Nightmare something, and I already know that was the trap Luna fell into, 'fell into' hell even I'm soft-pedaling that. Luna walked into that role with her eyes open and eagerness pennants flying, that Celestia wouldn't do 'what needs to be done' according to Luna, with Celestia taking a more patient, less threatening approach.

The goal is to avoid the whole Nightmare Night situation long before it occurs. To make it clear Luna is overcompensating for her perceived inferiority. An inferiority Celestia has done nothing to create and will not do anything to suppress, if Luna feels inferior that's Luna's feeling not reality. Frankly, once someone is convinced they are being oppressed, nothing can convince them they are their own oppressor. Other guys in my neighborhood all complained about school and the treatment they were getting, yet not one of them was putting in the work to escape. If they thought about it, they thought they had to save the whole world. Wrong, save yourself first, then save the world if it wants saving. If it's happy to burn, break out the marshmallows and bratwurst and have a campfire sing-along.

Yeah, that sounds awful, but it's something they taught the lifeguards at our local pool: 'You don't have to die to save someone else.' Someone else's bad choices/actions aren't a suicide pact, and I'd seen too much crab bucket behavior to follow in that course myself. If someone is tearing you down, cut them out of your life, if someone offends you, don't watch/listen to them.

So Luna is going to get a mirror to her 'only I get to punish everypony including me' and then let her explain it.

Journal Entry Day 38

Yes, it's been a while. The other reason Celestia wanted me in Canterlot was the diplomanic reeeesponse to Nightmare being trapped rather than exterminated. The local Dip Lomats hardly believed that the Elements wouldn't have destroyed Nightmare, merely forced her to retreat, heal, and try again. I had to undergo a huge battery of tests to prove I had zero magical potential, and wasn't somehow poisonous or emitting evil radiation or some other bullshit.

But Celestia is paying for my upkeep, and so as her 'kept man' I went along with it. Although using that praise where it got back to Celestia was hilarious. It was ironic that Cadence and Armor were the ones offering Celestia's apologies, and that the shadenfrued?, the feeling of glee at another's expense, was thick after me siccing Twilight on their nuptial plans. As someone said, what goes around comes around, and I can take it and dish it out.

"What was that testing again?" I asked as Cadence pushed my wheelchair through the corridors to my rooms. Despite three blankets and a warming spell, I was still chilled to the bone.

"It's technical, but it's still your magic potential," Armor said, "Unconscious potential this time."

"So, how did Twilight take the news?" I asked, "Of your impending nuptials?"

Cadence and Armor both frowned.

"We were hoping to tell her close to the actual date," Armor said, the perfect officer insulting a stupid civilian of higher rank.

"Well, tell Luna she communicated your displeasure quite clearly," I said, "That nightmare about shapechanging, bug ponies replacing Cadence so they could eat all of Equestria's love was frightening, especially what they did to you, Armor, and locking Cadence away to die alone until Twilight found her, mistook her for the imposter and killed her. Having the queen bug blast Celestia into unconsciousness then cocoon her to eat her forever was what made it obvious it was Luna, she's still got sister issues."

I could practically hear the silent exchange of glances, gestures and mouthed words as I rolled and shivered down the corridor. Someone would be discussing this with others in detail later.

The talk of nightmares was believed because I've been having them, and Nightmare is the one rescuing me. I've detailed them extensively in my other journal, one of the reasons I haven't been keeping this one up, and Clear Brook has upped our sessions from twice a week to daily.

They've had a lot of pony, rather than anthro imagery, and Nightmare is the one who breaks in and breaks them up. To say that having them is causing some problems is an understatement.

"So what happened after these horses with cutie marks saw you working on your rock farm?" Clear Brook asked.

My quarters were a safer haven than her office with all the stacked bookcases giving me a feeling of claustrophobia or being buried alive under piles of journals and file folders.

"I could immediately tell they were my half-sisters and mother, although their cutie marks would have told me that eventually if their voices and bad behavior didn't give them away first," I said, and ignored Clear Brook's 'what were their cutie marks?' question, "I was a horse like them, moving the rocks around with my muzzle, never my hooves. They started arguing over which rocks I should do next, and putting those rocks in the basket on my back. More rocks, more arguing, until I couldn't stand under the load. Even when my legs collapsed, they kept piling it on, making it harder to breathe. Eventually they would have crushed my ribcage under the weight, but Nightmare shattered the dream and carried me out of there. She seemed extremely concerned, as this wasn't the first nightmare this week, or even that night."

"Was it actually Nightmare, or just an aspect of the dream?" Clear Brook said.

"It was the real her, she was a biped, all the horses were quadrupeds, like I was," I replied, "She was clearly not part of the temporary reality."

"Tell her to check with Princess Luna," Nightmare said in my head.

"What was that?" I asked aloud.

"I didn't say anything," Clear Brook said.

"I was talking to Nightmare, normally I don't vocalize it, but she surprised me," I said.

"Tell her Luna says you've been sublimating your anxiety," Nightmare said.

"Princess Luna was in my dreams with Nightmare and Her Highness says I've been sublimating my anxieties," I said.

"Which anxieties?" Clear Brook asked.

"Not anxieties, anxiety," Nightmare said, "Your anxiety of not measuring up, not being a hero, a stud or not doing your best."

"My anxiety of not measuring up to my own standards, or standards expected of me," I said, "I guess my concerns about my family getting along without me, and wondering what I'm accomplishing or failing to accomplish here. There's also the idea that while I resented my mother's lifestyle, I have the perfect opportunity to have a whole slew of ladies on a string, I haven't taken advantage. Most guys in my neighborhood would think I was insane for passing up the chance at all that tail."

"Cutie Mark Failure Insanity Syndrome," Clear Brook said, "When you fail what you consider your purpose and destiny. It seems a blank flank can suffer from that, if they go against the cultural narrative. Frankly, this is a discussion Balustrade should be having: the less biological items of the birds and the breezies. Maybe Applejack as well, as she seems to have caught your eye, and according to the Princess you harboring Nightmare may be having an effect on certain others."

Including Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, I thought but didn't say, And you too Nightmare.

That earned me a hearty laugh.

The good soldier did come in later, and explained that there was a Casanova subculture, the general culture was pair bonding, a couple. Although it wasn't exclusive, and some relationships got both complicated and bisexual. His own brother's 'family' had eleven adults, with about two-thirds swapping partners among the others, implication that it was not all heterosexual, but nopony strayed out of the bounds of the marriage.

Questions about dissolving the bonds were met with incredulity. 'Why would anypony want that?' showed that this world was very different than Western Civilization on Earth. As for the idea about a father abandoning his children was also met with incredulity, the idea that the government would encourage women to toss out the men, I think he would have preferred facing Nightmare Moon.

"Why would anypony do that?" Balustrade asked.

"Because as long as there's no father in the home, the government pays the upkeep of the children," I explained the modern American Welfare State, "So the women have partners, get pregnant but never marry any of the fathers. Why do you think I keep referring to them as 'half-sisters', we share a mother, but all of them have different fathers."

He stared off into the distance as if Nightmare had manifested a long ways away.

"I think you broke him," Nightmare commented.

"But if the fathers aren't there to help raise the kids, how does a check replace that, is it enough to hire someone?" Balustrade asked.

"No," I replied, "The local street gangs do some of the raising, and you can imagine how well that turns out."

He was staring off into space again, not being able to cope with the thoughts. "And you thought the Bearers were trying to do anything like that?" he asked desperately.

"No, I'm explaining where my culture is coming from, if you're a male child, you're a welfare check. Once you graduate out of that, you're a stud for the people with money, or a gang member, or you figure out a way to get out before you ruin your life or get killed," I told him.

"Lad, it's not like that here," he said, or rather prayed to ward off the evil I'd painted for him.

"But I'm expecting it to be, at least my nightmares are," I said, and waited for him to grapple with that thought.

To say he tried and utterly failed to be useful wouldn't be disguising much. Ponies were something like the sitcoms from the 50's, with a dollop of Ancient Athens thrown in. The idea that you wouldn't have a couple, even a same-sex couple, raising kids threw him for a loop.

When looking into Derpy Hooves and her apparently being a single mother, she's a widow and her former husband's family is available to her as a support network. So, score one for the ponies about actually caring for people instead of just throwing money at them and no education in what to do with that money. I wish the school I went to actually taught economics and life lessons on budgeting and food prep, instead of the pablum we were taught. I got more about living through books on Nicola Tesla, Cassius Clay, Booker T. Washington, James Watt, Molly Pitcher and so forth than I got from history, government, or any enrichment classes.

Ironically, Nightmare figured out both why I hated my family and former situation, why I've been trying to keep most Bearers at arms-length, and what is the basis of my nightmares. And she gave me an object lesson into ponies, and a certain pony in particular, that is extremely shaming. Yes, Nightmare humbled herself and risked rejection and punishment to rescue someone important to her. If somepony is willing to sacrifice that much of her brittle ego for me, I need to back off on my games a bit and be more forthright in my interactions.

While I was simultaneously having a nightmare elsewhere in my head, I saw Celestia arrive in the anteroom. While I was buried up to my neck at the seaside with the tide coming in, Nightmare awaited her in the murky chamber. Celesta gasped as he discovered her horn and wings were gone.

"Bwah your powers are lost here!" Nightmare said, "You are not the dream weaver your sister is, and my domination is penultimate here."

"I would not be here without your consent," Celestia countered, checking her lack of royal regalia and the almost transparent robe worn over her costume.

"And you would not be here without your own efforts," Nightmare said, and held up her hands, "But no tricks with you, unlike your sister you are here out of concern for Gray Rock, as well as the realm, rather than a voyeur looking for any excuse." She started walking quickly across the huge anteroom.

Celestia swallowed then followed quickly catching up but scanning the shadows as she walked. "I've had this discussion with him before, as you well know," Celestia said as she looked over her own garb, and Nightmare's, "It seems your rather cold, and wouldn't naked be more efficient than a few scraps of cloth? For both of us?"

"Trust me, there's always the pursuit, something all of you have been lacking," Nightmare said over her shoulder.

"Something he's been rejecting," Celestia countered.

"Think on things, and his nightmares: your wings-and-arms hugs, most Bearers' all-encompassing pursue," Nightmare said as she practically got inside Celestia's robe with her, "Being sealed in an oversized drawer, being buried under Clear Brook's shelves and files, being crushed under an immense basket of rocks, and even now, buried up to his chin in sand. And the Bearer he is fixated on, she washed his back without hugging him, sat back to back while they ate in silence. Do you see the pattern?" She turned away and resumed walking past a huge number of doors standing amid the corridor with nothing holding them upright.

"Not claustrophobia, but being buried alive, physically or metaphorically," Celestia said and grinned at Nightmare's nod. "Why would you desire my help?" She looked at the backs of the doors, and saw they had none, they existed only in the direction they were facing, and looking in the other direction were hundreds of doors they had passed through unknowingly. "You obviously have a handle on it." She started walking again, only to nearly run into Nightmare.

"I hate you," Nightmare said, "I hate your perfect fur, I hate your pert, full breasts, I hate your long, slim waist, and your long, toned legs. That comes from Luna, who still looks like a gawky teenager, and not me. That hate and this parody of your beauty I was extruded into were scribed into my very being by your little sister." Nightmare said, then reined in her fury. "That said, I am willing to share him, if it means he survives more or less as he is, with the apple farmer, with you, or with both."

Celestia simply nodded and gestured for her to continue.

"There is a greater darkness in him than you can imagine," Nightmare gestured at a few doors that seemed a bit more strongly constructed than the norm. "And frankly, knowing it's there, knowing what could befall me, makes me incredibly orgiastic."

"He'd never do that," Celestia said.

"He'd never do that undeserved," Nightmare said and grinned, "I'm not pristine little you. I like it rough, slapped around or an arm twisted, I enjoy being threatened, even broken." She shrugged. "He's managed it with barely a bruise to me, but the idea he could gouge out my eyes or stab me in the belly without the slightest warning is exciting."

Nightmare laughed at Celestia revulsion and disapproval. "Like I said, us both having him doesn't mean we're sharing everything. There are also patches of light that you'd break down weeping about, that are as disgusting as what makes me wet is to you."

"Thank you for that crude imagery," Celestia said.

"I've got access to what he smells, and although he doesn't know, I do," Nightmare said and grinned at the blushing Celestia, "So quit lying to me, and quit lying to yourself. We - have to rescue him. You ponies are snuffing out those shining spaces, one-by-one, and while that means more for me, it hurts him each time one goes. I won't have that."

"You're in love with him," Celesta said, as if discovering the world actually orbited the sun.

"If wanting the best for him, despite not winning myself, then maybe I am," Nightmare said, "But the real case is I can't save him alone. I can break up his nightmares," she said as she reached a door, "But I can't stop them. I've tried. Luna can't, you can't, maybe we can. I, here we, can stay for a day, a week, a month or a lifetime and it will still be tonight. Do you love him enough to work with me to save him, not from this nightmare, but all the others lined up by your ponies over the past month?"

Celestia nodded.

"Then we go," Nightmare said and opened the door.

The appearance among the squabbling ponies of Nightmare and Celestia was shocking, especially since they were the characters from the show not the anthrofied people I was used to.

"Who cares whose fault it is?! Why aren't you doing anything to help?" Nightmare thundered at my ponified household. She chased them off to a chorus of the usual insults they'd apply to anyone who told them to get off their asses and fix the problem themselves.

Celestia's horn glowed, holding off the sea water that was lapping up under my chin and pulling me out of the sand which my half-siblings had buried me in. "Normally they bury you above the tideline and facing the water," Celestia commented as she approached wings outstretched, then she stopped and retracted one wing and brushed off the sand that still clung to me with the other.

Nightmare came back, looking thoroughly vexed. More angry than I'd ever seen her. "They won't be returning to trouble you."

"Did you kill them?" Celestia asked.

Nightmare stared at her as if she were stupid. "This is a dream. The only three real people in it are standing right here. If I were to bury the entire population of Canterlot in the beach as he was, and walked along reaping with a scythe, not one of them would actually be aware. They are windup toys going through the motions."

Celestia nodded. "I apologize," she said and dipped her head.

"Fine," Nightmare said and as her magic enveloped me and set me on Celestia's back, "As penance you can deal with getting all the sand out of your fur. There's a hot spring this way."

Celestia lifted her wings to hold my legs against her barrel as she trotted after Nightmare. We'd traveled a bit before she asked, "Why are ponies always quadrupeds in your dreams? Luna mentioned the same."

Actually, I'd written it in my journals, but neither of us wanted to reveal that, I thought.

"Because 'pony' means a short, stocky quadruped in my world," I said, "So if you say 'pony' that's what my mind defaults to. I guess."

We arrived at the hot spring, and Nightmare was already up to her neck in the water, but when Celestia readied herself to jump in, "Hold it! Hold it!"

She stopped. "You can't swim?" she asked, more of concern than teasing.

"Not after being buried for a couple hours, and I'm also not as fireproof as you two," I replied.

"We'll take it slow," she said as she walked in, stopping when the soles of my feet touched the water. It was just uncomfortably warm, but not hot. She walked in farther until I could slide off her back into the water. Both Celestia and Nightmare were at hand in case I couldn't handle it. I briefly submerged to get the sand out of my hair, and laughed when I surfaced a moment later.

"It's good to hear you laugh," Nightmare said, making me glad the water was already making me flush.

"Thanks, I was just thinking you two look like swans floating around on the surface," I said, "While I've sunk up to my neck."

"It isn't natural buoyancy," Celestia said, "Part is magic, and part is this is dream-stuff not actual water, like us being ponies, we react to the physical laws you expect."

Nightmare plunged completely under the water and surfaced with just her head. "But magic can make things more real or less." She plunged again and swam up between my legs so I rested astride her. "Just relax. We can watch over you."

The heat and my ordeal was making me sleepy, despite this being dream. "I think I want to rest ashore. I trust you, but I don't know what'll happen if I fall asleep in a dream."

"You'll wonder if you're a butterfly dreaming of being a man," Nightmare said softly.

Celestia giggling at that seemed strange, until I remembered their earlier conversation. The odd disconnect with being there to listen, while knowing I was buried in the beach with the tide coming in nagged at me.

The dreams lasted the rest of the night, but each dream lasted a day, and whatever Nightmare and Celestia did the nightmares ended or could be easily forgotten.

Although the truce between the two didn't hold perfectly. It did indicate that the tension between the two was a major source of the nightmares. And Heaven help me if Applejack adds to the chaos. Fortunately for all of us, when the nightmare broke it prevented them from continuing their physical altercation. How? The nightmare changed them into blow up dolls and the fight popped both of their corks. I started reinflating them, one a bit then the other, until they started screaming at each other, then I left them partially inflated and unable to move. Yes, I let them argue, although I suspect Celestia got an eye opener about just who did what as part of the Princess Luna to Nightmare Moon transformation. Arguing about 'other things' and Celestia breaking her word about 'helping' indicates they didn't know I'd heard their initial conversation and that Nightmare didn't understand that my reserve in - to hell with sugar coating it, I didn't screw Celestia and I know damn well she offered the chance.

I'll have to investigate some of Nightmare's claims, because while she's never lied to me, she's under no such restriction with anyone else. And no, I wasn't that interested in blowing them up enough to see if they were sex dolls or if I could pop them. I'm a sick bastard, but not in that direction. If I was into that kind of fetish, I know the mirror pond and Twilight's bursting spell would work perfectly well, or maybe Pinkie Pie could do that without any help, and frankly that make her less likely to get into my pants not more.

I woke back in my Canterlot quarters feeling tired, but a different tired than the restless exhaustion the siege of nightmares had produced. I did wonder how much would get back to Clear Brook as my 'public' journal did detail their initial rescue, but the rest of the dreams were summarized with 'Princess Celestia and Nightmare Moon continued to cooperate in keeping the nightmares at bay.'

As for getting funky with the princess, not while she was an equine-shaped pony, maybe later. Considering what she looks like as a humanoid, why settle when you can wait? I also think she enjoyed snuggling, touching and getting tickled. Weird thing is that both Nightmare and Celestia enjoyed giving me horseback rides, including a few flights, which was more terrifying than I thought it would be. I am glad they put their mane down as a blanket/saddle so I got neither chafed nor bounced too badly.

All in all it was enlightening for all of us. I think Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and the sister-mares Luna and Celestia had a lot to talk about. A lot on band-aids got yanked off and a lot of abscesses got lanced.

Journal Entry Day 42

Yes another big gap. But Clear Brook and Balustrade were basically pulling their manes and tails out after the revelations, they kept trying to keep the illusion they weren't eavesdropping by reading my public journal while they were trying to get information from me to deal with Luna and Celestia's adolescence. When your two rulers are basically, emotionally growing up it gets messy. Especially if it must be kept under wraps from the scheming nobles and the various diplomats who are restrained by the Pax Incinderata, mess with me I'll fry you.

Clear proof I am not the genius I think I am, in that it took until two days ago to tell Clear Brook that Nightmare had read Celestia's mind while they were together, and knew Luna's. Or maybe I'm a coward, because I got dragooned into playing moderator for two hurt, angry people who could easily kill me themselves while they worked through their childhood traumas.

I think I mentioned earlier, unless I wrote it in the other journal and am forgetting, that psychological traumas have to be dealt with at the age they were inflicted, and ponies seem to follow Piaget's development patterns, so giving them adult answers won't solve the problem inflicted when they were six. You have to give them a six-year-old's solution.

It's like I was back home being forced into moderating (like a nuclear reactor, not someone with a gavel) the arguments among my half-sisters. The difference here was that all participants needed and wanted to solve it, not merely argue. The real problem was that all the experts were too chicken to do their jobs for fear of facing and angry diarch or a pink-slip.

The ally I got was the most unexpected for anyone who watched the show. Whose rather childish outlook on life and self were actually helpful. Whose utter inability to take offense, or exhibit caution while lancing an emotional boil sped the process along.

When they get over the hurts and pain of the catharsis, I hope a medal is forthcoming for my partner in crime. If they don't commit murder in the dead of the night first.

"She makes some good points, Auntie," Blueblood said to Celestia over the angry tears of Princess Luna, "You do tend to act as if you know exactly what's right for everypony." He raised an eyebrow, then ambled over to brush out Luna's hair. Half the kingdom would have killed to take the bothersome chore from his hands.

"And am I wrong," Celestia shot back, more angry than I'd ever seen her.

He looked at her passively, the strokes never faltering. Either the fop was grossly tougher or vastly more clueless than anyone had said, because he weathered the tirade.

"The point is, if you hand it to someone," I offered, "It's an imposition, not a gift. What we're doing here, for example, we're leading you to answers not saying, you have to do this."

"Quite," Blueblood said, "You mean well, Auntie, nopony denies that, but sometimes you come off as a know-it-all who gives someone an answer to make them go away."

Celestia's eyes crossed at that, and Luna let out one giggle. We all knew he was complaining about his treatment, but the comment still applied.

Before he could ruin the point he'd made, I interjected, "You are not intending to come off that way, but because your time is precious you seem that way. Working through a problem takes time. But Luna's felt you've done this to her from a thousand years ago."

"I was the eldest," Celestia said and bowed her head.

"And the only way people learn is by getting knocked down and getting up, or practicing against what they think are their limits," I said, "Imagine letting Prince Blueblood try out for the military."

"Ugh, you certainly are a kin to Nightmare," Blueblood said, "Thank you for that atrocious image. I remember my service."

"You were a very different stallion when you finished, even if went easy on the training," I said, "And would you trade what you gained for what it cost? As bad as it was, you can look down on those nobles who didn't even try."

He considered. "That is true," he said, "An admittedly good example. Not that I would ever want to reprise it."

I turned back to Celestia. "You have to let Luna fail, be there to pick her up after of course, but let her fail." I turned to the eye-drying Luna. "And you are going to accept that she failed too. Exactly what you were angry about, she failed with no one to help her."

Celestia's head and shoulder were bowed in shame.

"Sister," Luna said, and got up to hug her sister.

Blueblood led me out, there would be some real work done, once the witnesses were out.

"Is it going well," Blueblood asked, his uncertainty showing for only me to see, "Are we helping them?"

Was this the arrogant prince, or had the Changelings come early? "I think we are," I said, "Why so nervous?"

Blueblood looked around, then practically glared at the wall. Muffled footsteps announce the retreat of spies. "I don't want Auntie's job, and another alicorn makes it plain I'll never have to worry about getting it. Have you seen what she has to put up with? All those brain-dead idiots imposing on her all the time?"

Wisdom, force of will, and the effort to ignore Nightmare killing herself with laughter allowed me to just smile and nod.

I had briefly considered that Blueblood was secretly a hidden genius, then I remembered the Dunning-Kruger Effect, where the worse you are at something, the more likely to think you're brilliant at it. If you lack the tools to do, you lack the tools to judge how well you or others do it.

Anyway, I think we did the alicorn-sisters some good, and I'm giving up and getting some rest. This has been a crazy month and I don't expect it to get better soon.