spike's big adventure.

"MY LITTLE PONY MY LITTLE PONY." (shot gun fire) the camera points to spike who somehow has a shot gun now.

"oh fuck no! we heard that god damn song three thousand times in our head! PLAY FUCKING SKRILLEX!" he yelled in a cool manner then he looking a da big sexy dictator gyphun. " so my old lover gilda has reaturned to kill me, after she makes love to me! but kills me!" he said with a smile. " well then gilda taste my shotgun pellets WHORE!" he shoots gilda who suprisingly dodges the pellets,....like in the matrix. "OH NO! my powers are useless now! rarity! be my meat shield!" she then took rarity and placed her in front of him.

gilda took out to uzi's out of behinded her wings and shot them puncturing wholes through rarities vagina,tits, and any other place that best describe this damn clopfic. "DIE YOU PURPLE WORM!" gilda started to get wet from shooting things cause shooting things makes her megan fox horny and so she stops and plays with herself. she  'unknowingly' didnt see that spike, fluttershy, and the rotting dead corpse of the now dead like roadkill rarity snuck out. she stopped playing with herself as soon as she heard the narrator of this story say that spike, Fluttershy, and the dead bitch had left the house. " WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THAT SPIKE ASSHOLE IM GOING TO KILL HIM! AND RAPE HIS DEAD BODY!" she yelled and flew out.

the mane 2, and the dragon. 'also of including zombie Rarity now.' stopped as soon as they were five feet away from the house. "hm i know what to do!" he then pulled out a gatling gun and shot down the local wild life to clear a good path. afterwords him and his two dumbass friends and his dead zombified friend through the blood and gut filled path that spike cleared for them to pass. they passed they swamps of sorrow, to the land of darkshire, and finally made it to stranglethorne vale they went and talked to the trolls, who gave them a quest to go to ZUL'FARAAK to retrieve some stupid shitty mask after countless hours on general chat and finding a group to do the quest with and after multiple deaths, people yelling leeroy jeinkins and rushing toward the mobs, and having 3 AFK'ers on there party, they returned with the mask that they were sent to get, then the troll pointed then to the direction back to equestria.

spike was cool and didnt question where the fuck he was or how he got here, or why they came there in the first pace. nothing spike cant handle as he looked at his dead friends rotting carcass. who was now a ghost who shuts up. he then traveled thirty five thousand years back to equestria. and desided to give bitch celestia a piece of his mind. "ok here how its going to go! ghost rarity will woo the guards, and ill sneak in through the back and flutter shy stand guard and twi....... OH FUCK WHERES TWILIGHT!" he didnt know twilight was still in a forest fucking a tree. " oh well fuck her everypony got there jobs?" he said

"YES!" they said in unison.

"GOOD!" he then grabbed Fluttershy and stuck his tounge in her mouth and had a hot, hot, hot! makeout session to whom Rainbowdash was spying and clopping feriously to it. they then proceeded to the mission, UNAWARE THAT GILDA WAS A HIRED HITGRYPHUN BY CELESTIA TO KILL SPIKE!

"star gyphan star gryphan! this is starfox 64 we spotted spike! he is in canterlot!" said the crossover portion of the clopfic/gorefic/what every the fuck you like to call it fic as he then blew up for no fucking reason.'literally he blows up for no fucking reason.'

"spike what are we doing here again?" said a retarded twilight sparkle who somehow is in this chapter now. spike sighed and went over the plans to twilight who wasnt paying attention because she was being raped by a mutant rat.

"OH SHIT!" yelled spike who took his knife that he had during the war and stabbed the rat in the eye with it the rat yelped amd was now died....twilight was about to die. Spike embraced her. "YOU STU-STUPID PONY!" he started to cry as he seen his childhood friend leave him.

"S-Spike...i see a light." she said coughing up rat juices and blood. "sp-spike im so sorry! i got to sleep now....." Twilight let out a gasp and died. spike cried and repeated to say'its not fair' as he repeatedly stabbed the dead now twilight.

finally rarity spoke. "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? you dont give a shit if i die but you do when she does  i want to just say one thing! WHAT THE FUCK!" she yelled at spike who was giving her a confused look.

"um your not technically dead i see you right in front of me and your talking." spike said with his head down.

"IM A FUCKING GHOST, A SPIRIT, A GHOUL, A PHANTOM THOSE ARE SHIT YOU CALL A DEAD PERSON!"

"yea but not the same. wait arnt you suppose to distract the guards?"

"yes i was....but i maybe killed them." she said with a nervous smile. spike didnt question it and they continued down the tunnel.

"hey you hear that?" they stopped and heard wings flapping. they turned and seen that gilda! was right behind them! " lets run!" yelled spike who was running beside his two friends. spike took out his trusty shotgun while running and jumped on Fluettershies back he pointed the gun and aimed it directly at her. "SMILE YOU SON OF A BITCH!" he said in jaws like fasion and when he pulled the trigger the burst from the gun was able to hit the gryphan and like that the gryphan who was known as gilda....blew up. her blood and guts splattered onto spike and they all laughed at it and spike said. "GOOD JOB YA CRAZY CUNTS!" he then got off Fluttershy now noticing that the excitment gave her a wing boner. when they managed to get inside Canterlot which was like city 17 they heard a voice talk...it was celestia. they took are weapons out. which consists of gattling gun, shot gun, machine gun, plasma rifle, phys gun, sub machine gun, rocket launcher, sniper rifle, b.a.g

a chainsaw, and a gears of war style lancer and hammer of dawn. they then started to blow canterlot into pieces. they were having fun and spike and fluttershy shot down so much combine forces that day including doctor breen who wasnt even in charge anymore.after that Spike called up a helper to help clean up the shit..he called in MictheMicrophone. he took his odst drop pod and crashed it in canterlot. the pod opened up and mic descended from his pod with an ak-47 blasting the shit out of everything! "you call for a bad ass," he said with a smile and then went back to killing countless soldiers he then took a knife out and threw it at some guy cause he hated that guy cause that guy went to his highschool and pikced on him......now that guy is dead. good night. he tossed a shaw'd off shot gun to spike who used it to blast some more combine assholes.after a few minutes of blood, carnage, and destruction and death the two hero's with there guns up smiled at eachother and knocked down the doors to the palace.

they walked into the palace and began to look around no sign of princess celest... and her royal guards. IT WAS A TRAP! the guards ambushed them and tried to kill them with there own guns. Mic and Spike took cover behind pillars and nodded. " on the count of three we waste them!" yelled spike, mic nodded and stayed there behind the cover with his gun up high. "1...........2............3........LETS FUQ THEM UP!" he yelled the two badasses retracted from there cover and shot the guards down... they ran up to Princess Celestia's royal bed chamber who didnt know they were coming despite the guns blazing and other shit happening.

they knocked down the door where Celestia was who went into cover grabbing a machete and a pistol from under her bed. "you dare put guns up to me and try to kill me!" she yelled harshly.

Spike smiled and then laughed "acually yea im here to do that." he pointed his gun at her. "and there is nothing you can do about it!" he shot Celestia with the shot gun but she dodged it and shot the pistol, she missed spike who went into cover mic then tried to kill her but failed to as she dodges way to often. Spike then ran up and jumped on the bed and whe Celestia seen spike kicks the royal cunt in the face hard she gets knocked tho the ground she then grabs spike and throws him. she goes gets her pistol that she dropped and when she turned around Spike had a Rocket Launcher! " Dodge this bitch!" he yelled.

"OH FUCK MY ROYAL ASS!" as those were her final words before spike blew her up. the dictator ship of her was of her was over and the ponies could live commie free.

spike walked out of the palace and seen that everypony was congradulating him on killing celestia and then after all that he got the title BADASS OF EQUESTRIA! and they all lived happily every after...except Celestia, Gilda, Applejack, Rarity, and Twilight who are now dead....the end. UNTIL THE BONUS CHAPTERS!!