The Timepony’s Journal

The Doctor wandered around the console, still invisible. He couldn’t move any of the controls, his hooves just phasing right through them. They were stuck with very limited options.

“If being here is what’s causing this, then why not just leave?” Cosmic asked.

“I can’t. Not only has this force registered me as invisible but also intangible.”

“Then let me fly the Tardis. Tell me which buttons to push and I’ll do it.”

“Quite impossible. Not only is the ship incredibly complex, but the controls aside from the basic functions are purely configured to me.”

“Then what are we supposed to do?” asked Petunia.

“Turn on the scanner, gather our bearings. Cosmic, you remember the switch.”

Cosmic simply nodded, flipping the scanner on from the console. Cosmic flipped it on and off several times but nothing happened. It powered on but no picture appeared on it.

“Must be malfunctioning like everything else in your ship.” Cosmic snarked.

“No, no, it’s too dark. If the scanner weren’t on it wouldn’t be as black as this. The scanner is simply displaying what is outside.”

“So there’s absolutely nothing outside?”

“Precisely. There’s only one thing for it, then. We must leave the Tardis.”

“But isn’t that-”

“Don’t argue with me, my colt. Npw, open the doors for me and come along.”

Cosmic did so, the Doctor walking out into the empty black abyss. Looking around he saw that he was both visible and tangible again. The void wasn’t completely empty as the scanner depicted. All around them were massive white orbs with screens floating for miles around them. Cosmic and Petunia marvelled at such a sight, the whole realm giving off an uneasy aura.

“Doctor, you’re back again!” Petunia exclaimed.

“Get back from here, this realm is impossibly dangerous. Stay as close to the ship as possible.” the Doctor warned her.

One of the orbs quickly rushed over to Cosmic, stopping mere inches from his face. Cosmic was transfixed with the screen, as if it were staring into his very soul. Several other orbs followed suit, completely surrounding them. Their screens switched on simultaneously, momentarily displaying nothing but static before the picture became clear. A jungle, full of fluffy white plants with deadly black barbs. The screens shifted, a barren wasteland of a dying unnamed world. Again, the city perched upon stilts miles above the treetops.

“My memories. They’re all displaying my memories, my past adventures with you. Our past.” Cosmic gawked.

The screens switched their focus to Petunia. A silver city, Canterlot, the hallway of a hospital long ago. Petunia stood frozen as she looked at the screens, taking several steps back as she held back tears.

“That’s…that’s the day my mother died.”

“Quickly, back in the ship!”

It was too late now. The orbs quickly rushed away as the black sky swirled. A purple and gray mass spiralled into existence, an eye opening up as the draconequus unravelled themselves into this strange existence. They were a massive serpent with the dark gray scales of a dragon layered to look like stone bricks. They had the face of a purple pony, a rattlesnake tail made of marbles and horns like that of a jester’s hat. They casually floated down before them, never raising their voice as they exuded immense powers without a single word. His cold and calm smile alone sent chills down their spines.

“Ah, the good Doctor and his travelling companions. I was hoping that you’d be within the grasp of my realm eventually.”

“Yes. Heard of me from your free brethren, have you?”

“Oh, Discord? You graced his territory once with your petty scuffle with those tin pepper pots. Barely even a passing thought to him in those days but I kept you in mind. You’re just so intriguing to me, so unusual. I just had to invite you over.”

“Then why didn’t you do it yourself? Instead you lure us out, but why?” Cosmic asked.

“I have my rules as all of my kind do. Discord, as you say, is only ‘free’ as his rules are bound by the laws of chaos. Discord has no rules, no laws but one: that of inconsistency, spontaneity and fun. I am fun in a different way, he shuffles the order while I simply play. I am the lord of it, after all.”

“You’re the Lord of Play, then? If the Lord of Chaos is Discord, then who are you?”

“Call me Sport. Short for Old Sport, New Sport, Good Sport, Bad Sport and all other Sports in between. A simple game is all I’m after. I can’t just start a game with anyone, I need to offer an invitation. Only those who accept my ‘invitation’ can enter my realm.”

“Ah, so that’s why you played your little trick on me, hmm? I was close enough to your realm in the vortex for you to influence us in the slightest of the manors. You’re a spider, and I refuse to be the fly caught in your web any longer. Back into the ship you two.” said the Doctor indignantly.

Turning around the Doctor didn’t just see one TARDIS but hundreds, thousands upon millions even. Row after row the line continued on as it faded into the distance. The number of Police Barns could probably be as infinite as Sport’s domain. Some were slightly different in shape and color, while others were nearly indistinguishable from the real article.

“Oh, but which one, Doctor? We could play a guessing game of find the Tardis is the barnstack, oooooooooor, you beat me and claim your prized ship back. Seems fair, doesn’t it?”

“Why are you doing this?” Petunia cried.

“For a simple fact only: I’m bored. There’s nopony left in the universe who wants to play with me now. Back in my heyday creatures of all kinds would wander into my domain. Not anymore though, all my toys and tricks are too dull and useless without a fresh audience. The Doctor has lived a long and fulfilling life, much longer than most. A seasoned mind is just what I need, finally someone interesting to play with!”

A several story chessboard materialised into existence, each piece another Police Barn. Sport grabbed two pawns from the board and shook them in his spindly claws like gambling dice.

“You always did like playing ‘games’, didn’t you? You play the hero to each and every one of your pawns. You collect them like trading cards, all to add to your collection to play out your fantastical adventures.”

Sport tossed the two pawns at the Doctor, their clatter echoing in the void. The Doctor staggered backwards when he saw the heads of the pawns, Lavender and T-Tauri’s faces at their moments of death. He was mortified, but Sport simply laughed as the pieces evaporated into thin air.

“Oh, what fun this will be! All I need is for you to accept my challenge.”

“And what if I refuse?”

“Then you lose by default. You forfeit the Tardis, your freedom, and your companions will be my new toys for all the remaining eternities in existence. It’s your choice.”

That was a complete lie, what kind of choice did he have? It was either agree to play and have a chance to win or face a fate worse than death. The second he agreed he found himself in a new endless white void. Moving forwards a massive screen came into view displaying his previous position. Getting closer he could make out a massive dollhouse alongside Sport hunched over the screen’s controls. Noticing the Doctor, Sport looked up and eagerly waved at him.

“Ah, ready to play, are you?” Sport said condescendingly.

“You and I know that I had no meaningful choice in the matter.”

“Of course, of course. Come here, let me show you how your game works.”

A large vertical white slab arose from the ground, morphing into two boards with an array of pegs in them. A giant counter sat above a chess clock that counted down ten seconds each.

“The Tetralogic Game?”

“The Tetralogic Game, Doctor. A game for the astute mind, difficult for the average and impossible for the weak or lazy.”

“Are you implying that my mind has become weak?”

“Or merely lazy. They say that travel broadens the mind, though perhaps yours has proved otherwise.”

“How dare you.”

“You know how to play, then? Let me save you the embarrassment of your answer. You have 1,480 different pieces to use at your disposal. Arranging any part of those pieces in a line will eliminate the line from the board. You have ten seconds to place your piece, then it’s my turn. We continue until a winner is declared. To win you simply have to place all of your pieces so that your board is completely empty by the end of the game. And do so before me, of course.”

“Quite simple, eh? And what of Cosmic and Petunia?”

“They’re playing the offence, or defence depending on your perspective.”

“You can’t be serious, I absolutely refuse!”

“Now Doctor, you aren’t in any position to refuse anything. They may not be playing our game, but a difficult game nonetheless. I’ve sent in two of my old toys ahead of time to act as their opponents. The first of many, shall they succeed. It’s also in their prerogative to finish their games before ours is concluded, else they lose and become my toys as well. Quite exciting for the extra entertainment.”

The Doctor simply scowled at Sport before looking back up at the screen. His companions were both confused, looking for him as the games began.

“It’s no use calling out for him, Petunia, the Doctor’s not invisible this time. He’s gone somewhere else entirely.”

“Well we can’t just stand around and do nothing, now can we? Maybe he’s in one of these Police Barns.”

“No, you heard what Sport said. We’d be here all day if there’s truly the Tardis anywhere out there.”

“Or you could play with us instead.”

Both Cosmic and Petunia jumped, not expecting anypony behind them. There were two clowns, one tall and lanky while the other was short and fat. They were like dolls, their fur the texture of felt and buttons in place of their eyes. Cosmic guarded Petunia instinctively, approaching the clowns first. The tall one offered a hoof to shake which Cosmic did so reluctantly. Cosmic was startled when the clown’s hoof came off with a pop, the real one coming back out of the sleeve. At least Petunia seemed to be laughing at the absurdity. The tall one only honked in response, unable to talk.

“You should’ve seen the look on your face.” Petunia said through muffled laughter.

“Well I didn’t find that very funny. This isn’t all fun and games you know.”

“But that’s exactly what this is! Over here!” the small clown called out.

Several stage lights switched on, illuminating the path to the new structure. It was a large obstacle course that seemed impossible without defying the laws of gravity. Next to it was a small glass booth with a big red button inside. The clowns cartwheeled around it, the circus music was nearly audible from their energy alone. Petunia had calmed down though was still uneasy.

“We play for a Tardis. Is it yours? We don’t know. Come on, let’s play, play, play!”

The other clown honked again. Cosmic looked back at Petunia then up at the course.

“I don’t like this at all. Those clowns…something’s not right with them.” Petunia whispered.

“There isn’t a part of this domain that isn’t wrong.”

“No, I mean- just listen to them. It’s all forced. Maybe…maybe they were just like us.”

“Don’t think like that, they’re just another of Sport’s creations. They’re meant to make you think that way. They aren’t real.”

Petunia looked back at the clowns, hoping that Cosmic was right. She jumped back as the tall clown appeared out of nowhere. He honked in her face, though his expression was permanently sad. His face was painted on unlike the other clown, the reason he couldn’t talk. Said other clown suddenly poked her head from over her commrad’s shoulder.

“Blind Man’s Bluff”

“Huh?”

“That’s our game! Blind Man’s Bluff. We each get a turn on the course. You fall off, you lose, simple really.”

The tall clown handed Cosmic one of the two blindfolds. Looking over the course he tried to memorise the layout. Meanwhile the other clown ushered Petunia into the glass booth.

“One button press to start or stop, two for left and three for right. Simple, really.”

“Uh, okay?”

Once Cosmic was blindfolded at the starting position, Petunia pushed the button to start the game. Swinging across a rope, up several sideways stairs defying gravity, across a mobius strip of a plank and down a plastic tunnel. Neither of the clowns did anything, the usually talkative one not saying a word as she sat behind Petunia. In the booth Petunia carefully guided Cosmic as best as she could around the course. At the end Cosmic took off his blindfold and turned to his opponent.

“There, it's your turn now.”

The clown honked while the seats in the booth rotated to switch places. Something wasn’t right with how the clowns played. The movements were just a little too quick and confident, but neither Cosmic nor Petunia could prove anything.

“So, we just keep going until somepony falls?” Cosmic asked.

The clown, again, honked in response. Cosmic was getting tired of them already.

“Right, not much of a talker. My turn again then.”

Cosmic started the course again, only this time the tall clown was much more active. He moved elements of the course around and honked after the buzzer sounded. Cosmic was losing his balance left, right and center. He was barely managing to make it across amidst the confusion and changing layout.

“Cheat, Cheat! You absolute cheat! Cosmic, get out of there!”

“He can’t hear yooooou. This box is completely soundproof.”

The last straw was the tube tunnel, moved while Cosmic was inside it. He ended up off of the obstacle course, Cosmic ripping of the blindfold in anger. He was ready to test just how durable this doll-like clown was when he saw a blindfold on the floor. It was the one the other clown had used, discarded while meddling. Petunia ran out of the booth and saw it too, picking it up and holding it to the light. The fabric was much thinner that the other and could easily be seen through.

“You cheated.”

It was as if a gong rang out through the entire domain. Those two words were like a gunshot to the two clowns. Neither of them were smiling anymore, now trembling in fear as the atmosphere became denser and heavier.

Time stopped around Sport and the Doctor. Sport’s entire demeanour changed as he felt it, the clowns breaking his great sacred rule. The Doctor noticed how time slowed down around him, the clocks not completely frozen as they ticked down the ten second turn. They were still neck and neck at 1,338 pieces each, but Sport wasn’t slowing down time for an advantage. A portal opened up to the other void, Sport moving past the Doctor’s near-frozen friends and to the clowns. He simply whispered something in their ears and a tear rolled down each of the clown’s faces.

Sport went back through the portal and everything returned to normal. At least as normal as they were before. Gameplay continued, Sport and the Doctor going back and forth again.

“Your pawns giving you trouble?” the Doctor asked snidely.

“Nothing I can’t control, as you know.”

Three more pieces, two more lines cleared.

“I’m not quite so weak and lazy as you may suggest, hmm?”

“But you are old, TimePony. How old are you now?”

“And how is that in your interest?”

“Because you know that your time is limited. How long have you been the grandfather, the teacher, the wandering traveller? It’s impressive, your lifestyle for a young TimePony. But an old one?”

Several more lines, several more pieces.

“If this is your attempt to distract me then I advise you to find other means than referring to my age.”

“Struck a nerve, have I? Face it, your time is limited.”

The Doctor nearly made a mistake, placing a piece in the wrong orientation. He silently let out a sigh of relief. He could do this, he just had to stay focused. Cosmic and Petunia were still on the screen and he feared what they might have to face next.

The clowns stood up straight, the tall one taking Cosmic’s blindfold. Cosmic was about to protest but noticed how unsettled both clowns were.They started the course over again like zombies, their smiles and cheer replaced by genuine sadness. Across the rope, up the steps, the tall clown’s movements were uneasy. Crossing the plank, the clowns were noticeably crying. The tall clown fell, the two of them collapsing where they stood.

They weren’t dead, they ceased being alive in the first place. The buzzer rang out as the clown doll in the booth laid against it. Cosmic put his hoof around Petunia, comforting her.

“Did…did we kill them?” Petunia asked.

“No, they’re just dolls. Sport gave them life and now he took it away.”

“That’s horrible. But…they were genuinely sad and afraid. Why would Sport allow them to feel sad?”

“It doesn’t matter now…it was them or us. Come on, there’s a Police Barn over there. Let’s see if it’s the Tardis.”

The box was bigger on the inside but not by much. It was just a slightly larger wooden box with two sets of double doors. It was obviously cobbled together quite hastily, a middle zone between games.

“Well, there’s no use in staying here. The Doctor’s probably nearly done with his game.” said Cosmic.

“You think so?”

“At least when it comes to logical stuff he’s very intelligent. He’s the smartest stallion in the room, to an insufferable extent sometimes.”

“Then why did you travel with him if he’s so insufferable?”

Cosmic paused before he responded.

“Let’s…not get caught up in that. We need to finish these games as soon as possible. The sooner we finish the sooner we can leave.”

Petunia lightly sighed while Cosmic exited the fake TARDIS. Outside was a large light up disco floor. The grid of large panels switched between on and off in a checkerboard pattern as music played in the background. When the music stopped the entire board lit up, displaying their next opponents. It was a king and a queen, dressed in regal white robes and furs. They were eerie, just staring out at them unblinking. Just like the clowns earlier they were as stiff and still as zombies, as if their souls hadn’t been turned on yet. In a split second they sprang to life, stepping forwards with a pompous yet joyful heir about them.

“Well how do you do!” said the King. “So you’re Cosmic and Petunia? What a joy to finally meet you in the flesh.”

“Yes, we’re gonna have oodles of fun together.” said the Queen.

“Right… so, what game are we playing?” Cosmic asked.

“Musical checkers!” exclaimed the King.

“Musical checkers?” asked Petunia.

“Musical checkers!” replied the Queen.

“Well, uh, how do we play musical checkers?”

“We move to the music, but only step on the glowing spaces. First team to be kinged rules the kingdom.”

“And uh. What happens when we step on the wrong square?”

“The end, you lose. I thought you’d know that.”

“Oh. If uh, if you don’t mind me asking, what are your names?”

“I am the king.”

“And I am the queen.”

“And together we rule the kingdom.”

“N-no, I meant-”

“Come on, Petunia. Let’s just get this over with.” Cosmic grumbled.

Cosmic dragged Petunia onto and across the disco dance board after the music started. Petunia couldn’t help but watch as the King and Queen danced so cheerfully, so happily from square to square. Petunia tried her best to keep up, but that feeling that she’d possibly be condemning her opponents made her limbs heavy with guilt. Petunia nearly stopped on the wrong square as the music ended. The silence seemed to be going on for an eternity. She couldn’t help herself, she quickly turned to the regal royals and nearly stepped off the square.

“Why?! Why are you so happy and cheerful and, and-”

“Whatever do you mean, darling? We’re only playing a game, is that not reason enough?” the Queen responded dryly.

“N-no…this isn’t who you are, I know it isn’t. Maybe, just maybe if we work together we can all be free!”

“Petunia!”

“Now don’t you start, Cosmic. You know as well as I do that that could be us. They were just like us once, alive! Real living, breathing ponies with hopes and dreams.”

“Petunia, that's enough.”

“Have you no sympathy? No compassion, no heart, not even shame? We have to…we have to do something.”

“Petunia, if we lose then we lose everything.”

“Is that really all you can think about?”

Tears rolled down Petunia’s face as the music started back up again. What little joy the King and Queen had was gone now. They were switched off again, moving like drones to the beat of the song. Petunia fought Cosmic across the dance board, the entire void turning red. The two of them stopped and looked over at the King and Queen. Neither of them had noticed that the two royals in their silky white regalia had ceased to move. The King and Queen turned to them and faintly smiled, the square they were standing on now red.

“Remember us.” the King and Queen whispered.

Cosmic and Petunia closed their eyes, not wanting to know what was happening. When they opened them again there were two chess pieces on the floor in their place. Petunia rushed over to the chess pieces, barely able to keep it together. Cosmic had nothing to say to her, just helping her along on her wobbly legs. Another Police Barn had appeared on the other side of the board, though it was another fake. Petunia punched the wooden walls in anger, falling to the floor as she could no longer stand. Cosmic approached her but she held up a hoof.

“No,no… just, whatever you have to say, whatever justifications or excuses or I-”

Petunia stopped and took in a deep breath to calm herself.

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“That was a close one, wasn’t it? I wasn’t expecting my little chess pieces to have a little change of heart. Perhaps I should’ve used the Heart family instead, such ruthless playing cards.”

Sport shrugged, pressing a button to drop in another piece. The Doctor had a slight advantage, having surpassed Sport in both line and piece usage several turns ago. The Doctor simply humfed in response, not wanting to give Sport the satisfaction from gloating. Secretly he was scared, he could still hear Petunia crying. He was supposed to be keeping her safe and getting her home.

“No snide remarks? Well, I wasn’t expecting much anyway. So, they’re at the last of their games. Time to up the ante, shall we? Those previous pairs clearly couldn’t conform to character, or maybe they conformed too well. Ah well, you can’t win ‘em all.”

“You claim to control your toys, yet they still act against you. Do you really have total control over this domain?”

That was a step too far. Sport may have been smiling but he was truly seething with rage. He gave him that stare again, that look that made his hair stand on end. It tapped into that primal urge to run away in fear against better judgement.

“You won’t be laughing when your pawns are mine to play with. How about a player who’s ‘personality’ matches their motives and morality. Someone who is ruthless, willing to bend the rules but not break them. A trickster, bent solely on winning. Is there anything more fitting than an ‘innocent’ little school colt?”

A large porcelain doll floated across the air. Its face and features were blank asides from the old school uniform and cap. Off it went into the ether, awaiting Cosmic and Petunia for their final game.

“Bye, bye, little toy. Let’s see your friends try to beat that little rapscallion.”

Sport laughed, completely confident that he’d won.

Petunia was burnt out, having cried for the past five minutes. She was nearly ready to give up, but she still got up and moved along. Cosmic still wanted to say something but decided against it. One last game board, this one the grandest of them all. Plenty of floating triangular panels, a toy robot stretching miles into the sky and the TARDIS straight ahead. Fifteen triangles marked the path, each of them numbered. The toy robot held a massive screen displaying the words Tardis Hopscotch in bright bold lettering.

“Hello there.”

Petunia jumped back, the off-white stallion straightening his big bowtie.

“Do any of you ever announce your presence or do you just appear out of the shadows?” Petunia asked sarcastically.

“I come and go as I please. It’s not my fault you don’t pay attention. I’m Cymbal, my friends call me Billy, not like you’d know.”

Neither of them could really get a word in. Cymbal was talking at a million words a minute, barely stopping for a breath.

“You’re oh so brave, Mr.Cosmic. I want to be just like you when I grow up.”

“Grow..up?” Cosmic cringed, looking at the adult Cymbal.

“I know, I look very mature for my age. I won’t be going easy on you though, this game is very exciting.”

“Uh huh. Alright, give us the rules.”

“You just roll the dice and move that many spaces. It’s quite-”

“Simple, we know.”

“You don’t need to be so rude. And here I thought I was being kind by letting you go first.”

“But you-”

“Go on, just roll the dice.”

Three triangle boxes drifted down, each with a die in them. Cosmic rolled a six and Petunia rolled a four.

“Oh, and I nearly forgot to tell you. If you pass someone while moving spaces the other has to start over.”

“Ah, so that’s why you let us go first. Great.”

Just as Cosmic turned his back, Cymbal launched a rock into the back of Cosmic’s head. Cosmic was completely done, ready to deck Cymbal with no hesitation.

“Leave it, he’s not worth it. Besides, we don’t know what happens when you leave your space.” Petunia sighed while rolling her eyes.

“Very smart of you. My turn now.”

Cymbal huffed as he rolled a three. Hopping from space to space he smirked, digging to his pockets. Petunia rolled her eyes as he tapped him on the shoulder. She jumped back, nearly slipping off of the space instinctively. Cymbal was inches from her face while wearing an ugly mask. She slapped him across the face, the mask falling into the void. It was immediately electrified, burnt to a crisp.

“Now you’re trying my patience. Don’t think for a second I won’t deal with you myself.” Petunia threatened.

“You’re such a meanie. Anyway, it’s your time. Chop chop Mrs.Party Pooper.”

The die box poked her in the face, Petunia staring daggers into Cymbal. Cosmic had already moved four spaces away, looking over in concern. She rolled a one. With an exacerbated sigh she hopped the one space forwards. Even worse, Cymbal rolled a four and could pass her. He even side checked her while passing over her space.

“Back to the start for you.” he taunted.

“It’s fine, I’m already a few spaces away.” Cosmic called out.

Cosmic rolled a three, the ship just in reach. Unbeknownst to any of them, Cymbal pulled a small salt shaker out of his pocket. He lightly sprinkled the space with it while their backs were turned. Cymbal eyed Cosmic, the only thing standing in his way of victory. Cymbal rolled a four, secretly spreading the powder on every space he touched. While Petunia was taking her turn Cymbal pulled a bag of sweets out of his pocket.

Cosmic ignored the first time one of the candie hit him, then the second, and the third. Then the entire bag hit him, the wrapped candies slightly spilling over the space. He quickly picked up the bag ready to spike it at him, but then he stopped. Cosmic took a deep breath and did nothing, he just kept the bag of sweets.

“Aww, c’mon, can I at least have those back?”

Cosmic ignored him while Petunia was about to roll.

“I thought you were a hero, not some loser who lets their friends die.”

Petunia stopped, realizing that a line had been crossed. Cosmic still didn’t say anything, continuing to ignore him.

“So you’re a coward too. Can’t even stand up for yourself, can you?”

Cymbal looked around him, expecting some kind of reaction but getting none.

“Say something, will ya?! I’m insulting you. At least look at me alright? Look at me!”

Cymbal stomped and pouted, throwing a childish tantrum. He held back tears, throwing whatever he had in his pockets at Cosmic to get his attention. All of the pity for him had been completely exhausted, they were done. Instead they just stared at him, letting Cymbal wind himself up. With all of his stomping and yelling he’d completely forgotten about the powder he placed on his own space. Only Petunia showed any care for him as he fell, fell down into the electrified abyss. There was nothing down there, just broken porcelain.

“What…what happened to him?” Petunia asked, somewhat numb from the shock.

“I don’t know. He just…slipped. I can’t quite see but I think he put something on the spaces.”

“Well uh, we might as well finish the game I guess.”

Petunia finally rolled, moving forwards five spaces. Cosmic rolled a three, making his way to the TARDIS. The triangle shimmered for a moment, an invisible bubble popping around it. It was some kind of force field likely to prevent cheating. Cosmic placed an ear against the Police Barn, hearing the telltale hum.

“Is it the real one?”

“Seems like this, the other ones didn’t hum or vibrate like this one. I think you can come over now. Here, let me help you so you don’t sleep.”

Cosmic flew over to Petunia, picking her up and carrying her to the ship. Once they were both on the triangle it swung around to reveal the Doctor and Sport. The Doctor had one piece left, time slowing to a literal crawl as he hugged his companions.

“Oh, my dear, I’m so sorry. I never should’ve let you leave the ship. I’m so sorry.”

Sport slowly clapped, each clap echoing infinitely into the void.

“Well done, honestly I shouldn’t be surprised given how rusty my pawns are.”

“Oh stuff it you rotten lump. We played by your rules and beat you fair and square.” Petunia retorted.

Sport chuckled at that, still calm despite his apparent defeat.

“Go on then, Doctor. Make your last move.”

The Doctor’s smile faded, realising that Sport had one last ace up his sleeve.

“Is everything alright?” Cosmic asked.

“No. Sport, you were always full of tricks, weren’t you? Right from the very start I should’ve known.”

“Who, me? I haven’t a devious bone in my body. Scout’s honor.”

“Hmmph, the nerve. If I win this game the whole realm is destroyed, or some other method that results in my demise, hmm?”

“Oh, right on the ticket. Now I don’t make the rules, I just follow them. But yes, every time I lose my realm goes poof into the ether. A clean slate, if you will. I’ve gotten bored of this one anyway. There’s still four seconds on the clock, as slow as they may be. I slowed it down just for you, just for the fear and drama and tension. Make your move and win, oooor you forfeit your move and I drop my remaining pieces into place and I win. We can play so many more games afterwards, think of all the possibilities!”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. Just, no.”

The Doctor and his friends went into the TARDIS and attempted to leave. Despite his intentions the ship just refused to dematerialize. The Doctor came back out again, infuriated from the situation.

“Stop meddling with my ship!”

Sport just rolled his eyes and shook his head in disapproval.

“Doctor, doctor, doctor. Deciding to not decide is still a decision. Your ship is smart, it knew that if you tried to leave that it would mean an automatic forfeit. Unless your forelegs are made of rubber I suggest you make the real decision.”

The Doctor went up to the button, looking it over. Three seconds were left on the clock, there had to be another way. He had an idea as he went back into the console room. He went to the small side lab and started rummaging through the old bric a brac. He picked up an old rusty six-way pipe connector, feeling its weight in his hoof.

“Doctor, what are you-”

“How good is your aim?” the Doctor asked, cutting off Cosmic.

“Uh-”

“This is absolutely vital. How good can you throw?”

Cosmic thought for a moment as he caught onto the plan. He had one shot at this, it had to be perfect. The Doctor stood by the console while Cosmic opened the barn doors. The Doctor silently whispered a countdown, both of them at the ready. Sport looked confused, only realising until it was too late.

“NOW!”

Cosmic lugged the hefty piece of pipework through the air. The button shattered when it hid, chunks of plastic flying as the game controls were smashed. At the same time the ship dematerialised, the final piece descending into place. When the last of the pieces dissipated so did the realm in a massive burst of energy. The TARDIS lunged forwards from the blast, but otherwise everypony was safe. They all sighed as a large weight was lifted off of their shoulders.

“I never want to do anything like that ever again. All those poor ponies, if all of them really were ponies once.” Petunia said while slumping into a wooden chair.

“For you that’s a guarantee. Unfortunately I feel as though Sport and I have some unfinished business.”

“But we escaped him, didn’t we? We beat him.”

“Yes, but Sport is, as you say, a rather sore loser.”

Everypony laughed at that.

“Well, if it’s any consolation we got some free candy out of this. One of Sport’s cronies chucked it at my head.”

The Doctor took the bag of sweets and smiled, unwrapping one of the saltwater taffies.

“Ah, one last ‘gift’ from Sport, eh?”

The Doctor bit down on the candy, suddenly wracked with an excruciating pain. He dropped the candies on the floor and clutched his face in agony. The TARDIS finally landed but not in 966. The explosion of energy had propelled the ship too far and now they were somewhere else entirely. It seemed that getting Petunia home would have to wait for another day.