Chapters Least favorite thing to do.
“Staaaaarrrrlllllight!” Sunburst whined at the pony standing across from him. “There's a portal to a world untouched by sun and light in our living room!” The portal between the two ponies swirled, pulsated, and slowly consumed the ambient light around it.
Starlight took a glance at the portal, and put on a look of surprise. “Oh, hey! How did that get there?”
“What did you do, Starlight?”
“Me? I’ve never seen that portal in my life!”
“Why did you open this portal to another dimension, Starlight?!”
“I do not rip tears in this mundane reality! That is my LEAST favorite thing to do.”
The conversation was suddenly interrupted by a shrill voice belonging to the resident party pony of Ponyville, “Boooo! BOOOOO! Get your own material!”
Starlight turned towards the open window and began to yell, “Pinkie! I SWEAR TO THE UNHOLY DARKNESS THAT I JUST CREATED, I WILL FEED YOU TO IT PERSONALLY IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP!”
“Ah HAH! You did create the portal!” Sunburst declared.
Starlight grunted in displeasure. “The living room was DIRTY! What was I supposed to do?!”
“Clean it like a normal pony! You know, with a broom and dustpan!”
“I tried that first.”
“I’ve been meaning to ask about that…”
“I had NOTHING to do with flooding in Twilight’s basement.”
“I wasn’t—”
“Nor do I know anything about the cake twins who tragically drowned in said basement flood.”
“Wait, what?”
“But, hey! I buried them in that place that brings pets back to life, Just like Rarity did with Opal! And both twins came back good as new! Better even!”
“Starlight that’s horrible!”
“I know, right? You’d think their parents would keep better track of their children!”
Pinkie’s voice chimed in once more. “AM I A JOKE TO YOU?!”
“YES!” STARLIGHT SCREAMED.
“... Well played, Starlight Glimmer,” came Pinkie’s response. “Well played...”
Starlight huffed out a sigh then turned towards Sunburst as it sounded like Pinkie cantered away. “Okay, what were we talking about again?”
“You just admitted to murdering children!” Sunburst answered.
“Right… right... “ Starlight cleared her throat. “If you think that’s bad, you should have seen what the Cake Twins did to their mom and dad when they got back from the dead! Hint: Sugar Cube corner might start selling blood sausage!”
“Staaaaarrrrrrlllllliiiiiight!”
“Hey, this is NOT on me! Just because it’s a well documented fact that everything buried in that cemetery comes back twisted and blood thirsty doesn’t mean the Cakes are exempt from taking care of their own children!”
“You could have at least warned them!”
“Well, you’d think Mr. and Mrs. Cake would have done a better job of defending themselves against a couple toddlers! It’s probably going to take hours for the broom and dustpan I animated to sweep up all the blood.”
“I’m afraid to ask.” Sunburst mumbled as he took off his glasses to rub his muzzle tiredly. “No, REALLY! I can feel my heartbeat increasing just by the thought of me asking further questions.”
“You’re undoubtedly wondering why I had to animate the broom and dustpan when mopping up the blood makes so much more sense.”
“Actually, that was the furthest thing from my mind.”
“See, I had to use the mop to clean up the mess after I made in Twilight’s basement after I murdered the Cake twins!”
“…”
“…”
“Staaarrrrllliiiiiiiiiiight!”
“They were making a scene at the grocery store! Give me a break!” the heliotrope menace whined back indignantly.
“Starlight, you’re not supposed to murder children! You’re not supposed to murder ponies, at all! ”
“Parents are supposed to keep their kids happy and calm, and yet, here we are!”
A series of panicked screams erupted as there was the sound of an explosion far in the distance, but not nearly far enough. In addition to the ponies that galloped for their lives, a sizeable army of flaming brooms and dustpans floated by in pursuit of the ponies at ‘you can run, but not forever’ speeds.
“… Staaaaaaaarrrrrrrllllliiiiiiight!”
“See?! They can’t even handle a little toddler tantrum!”
“This is a bit more serious than a tantrum, Starlight!”
“Okay, a toddler meltdown! The important takeaway here is that I picked up the slack for a couple of loafer parents and I’m getting nothing but grief instead of the kudos I deserve! So, what can I say except ‘you’re welcome’? ”
The portal between the ponies made an otherworldly ‘whaaaAAAAaaooomp’ swirling darkness pulsated further into the world and the daylight inside the home dimmed further.
“Is that thing growing?” Sunburst asked.
“Yeah, they do that,” Starlight replied absently.
More screams sounded out from outside as the houses in the distance began to catch fire.
“Starlight, your self-replicating army of flaming cleaning supplies is setting the entire village on fire.”
“I’ve got everything covered! Or rather, everything on fire will soon be covered.”
“I’m worried that you decided to qualify that first sentence in such a vague manner.”
“By water!” Starlight added.
“Okay, but why did you choose to be so vague at first?”
“And also blood.”
“… Staaarrrliiiight!”
A torrent of reddish water suddenly washed past the window, dragging along burnt brooms, dustpans, and hapless ponies caught in the flow that gurgled by as they attempted to scream through the ash and blood-filled water that began to intrude on their lungs.
“See!” Starlight said as she glanced outside, her horn glowing electric blue as a large barrier formed around the house. “Now the flood will take care of the fire and we’ll have nothing to worry about!” she grinned as a black question mark on a green flank began to float by. This was followed by the owner of said cutie mark, an earth pony filly with a black mane and tail. A filly which fruitlessly attempted to catch the now bubbled house.
“What about the army of self-replicating brooms?” Sunburst asked as a collection of the burnt brooms, which had also grown twisted arms with claw like hands floated by and grabbed hold of the filly as it tried to scream through all the water and was dragged away.”
“What about the army of self-replicating brooms that really could have been caused by the army of self-replicating brooms that really could have been caused by any pony who had the best intentions of cleaning up a grisly murder scene so no pony else would have to do the work?” Starlight asked as a squirt of blood puffed out in front of the window before being taken away by the current.
“HOW Are you going to get rid of them?!”
“Don’t forget about the self-replicating mops with buckets!”
“I… OKAY! PLEASE EXPLAIN HOW YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE CARE OF ALL THE ANIMATED, SELF-REPLICATING CLEANING SUPPLIES THAT ARE CURRENTLY RUNNING AMUCK IN THE VILLAGE THAT’S SIMULTANEOUSLY ON FIRE AND BEING FLOODED!”
‘WhaaaAAAAaaooomp’
“The portal!” Starlight said with a smile.
“Yes, the portal is still a thing! I’m attempting to deal with the things that are most likely going to wipe out of Ponyville in order of most to least dangerous.”
“Well, then your list is way off?”
“What?”
“Look! Once the amount of false life reaches a certain point, the portal, which hungers for all life, false or otherwise, will expand and consume everything in its path!”
“Won’t that consume all of Equestria with it?”
“That’s the best part!”
“I don’t like where this is going!”
“Because of just how many animated beings have sprung up, the portal will gorge itself too quickly and plug itself up! Not unlike a mysterious sinkhole that opened up in Saddle lake that was closed when enough wildlife, garbage, and ponies all got sucked in at once! Quip Quid Pro!”
“…”
“…”
“Staaaaaaaaarrrrrrlllllliiiiiiiiight!”
‘WhaaaAAAAAAAaaooomp!’
Starlight looked down at the portal nervously. “Look, we should really be teleporting a little continent away from here, now.”
“That’s not even remotely close to what ‘Quip Quid Pro´ means!”
“… Excuse me?”
“No! No excuses! The meanings of words and phrases is monumentally important!”
‘WhaaaAAAAAAAaaooomp!’
“Suuunbuurrst! Is this really important at the moment?”
“I don’t know, is not sounding like a complete, uneducated moron important to you, Starlight?”
Starlight let out a heavy sigh.
Sunburst followed suit.
‘WhaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOooooomp!’
“Okay,” Starlight began. “I think we both have either done or said things in the very recent past that we both regret.”
“… Fair.”
“Twilight told me in situations like this, the best thing to do is for the ponies involved to take some time for themselves, think about what they really want to say to the other pony, then try again in a bit.”
“Twilight said that? Okay, that sounds like a good plan.”
“Right, so, let’s just both clear our heads, and meet here by the burnt and soggy dead or dying pony pile in say, an hour?”
“Ugh, better make it two,” Sunburst said. “I’m pretty steamed.”
“... About all the wonton death and destruction?”
Sunburst couldn’t help but laugh. “Wonton destruction? Ponyville doesn’t even have a Chinieghs restaurant! Don’t tell me you messed that up because I used the word ‘steamed’!”
“What?”
“It’s wanton! WAN-ton! A wonton is type of dumpling, or do I have to spell that out for you, too?”
“...”
“...”
“Okay, two hours.”
“Better make it three,” Sunburst said. “That way you can go out for some wanton dumb-ple-ings and some Pee King soap! ”
“GrrrrrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAA AHHHHHH!” Starlight’s horn glowed an electric blue and she disappeared in a flash accompanied by the sound of reality having one more little rip put into it.
The shimmering bubble around the home disappeared and water began to pour in through the open window immediately.
‘WhaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAOOoooooOOOOOooooomp!’
Sunburst looked at the portal in annoyance, took a deep breath, then let it out. “Guess I’ll just go for a nice, hour long ‘swim for my life!’ Thanks, Starlight!”
‘WhaaaAAAAAaAaAaAaoOoOoOoOmp!’ replied the portal as it began to take on water.
“Yeah, well who asked you?!” Sunburst snapped as the room filled completely and he began to awkwardly swim out of the house through the open window.
‘WhaaaAAaAAaAAaAAaAAaAAaAAaAAaAAaAAaAAoOOoOOoOOoOOoOOoOOoOOoOOoOOomp!’
I will not apologize for art
“Starlight!” Sunburst wined as he stood across from his roommate. As was often the case, the reason for this cry was in between the two ponies. In this case, a green earth pony filly with a black mane and tail and question mark cutie mark. Which wouldn’t be room for concern, except the filly was slumped against the wall with her eyes bulging and now purple tongue lolled out. “We’ve been in this Manehattan apartment for less than a WEEK and already there’s a dead pony in the living room!”
“It’s appalling how high the murder rate is in this city!” Starlight replied. “I’ll have a talk with the mayor!”
“Starlight, that IS the mayor of Manehattan!”
“If only she had taken this persisting problem a little more serious earlier, this could have all been avoided!”
“Manehatten didn’t have a murder problem until we moved here.”
“I’m not sure I like what you’re insinuating.”
“I’m insinuating that you’ve had something to do with all the murders, Starlight.”
“Now I know I don’t like what you’re insinuating!”
“Starlight, just tell me straight, are you killing random ponies in this city?”
“Correlation does not equal consternation, Sunburst!”
Sunburst sighs. “Really?”
“I would think you as the educated one here, would know that!”
“Well, I certainly know one thing about this conversation!”
“Besides, all those ponies probably had it coming! Do you know how rude ponies can be in this city?!”
There was a long, long beat of silence as Sunburst tried, failed, and then tried again to find the bright side to this.
He failed.
“… Staaaaarrrrliiiight! We talked about this!”
“Your tone makes me think that you think you caught me in a lie, but if you reexamine everything you’ve said, I think you’ll find it’s you who's jumping to collusions.”
“Oh my Celestia! You did it again!”
“I believe we’ve already made it quite clear that the mayor would have been affixiated to death by any pony with enough magic control to force the air out of their lungs and create a ‘bubble vacuum’ around them because said mayor was running around accusing ponies of killing other ponies by affixiating them to death via a fine control of magic and bubble vacuums.”
“No, not that! You screwed up two phrases, too!”
“What? No way!”
“It’s not ‘Correlation does not equal consternation’! It’s ‘Correlation does not equal causation!’ You know, as in just because there is a related pattern to something doesn’t mean that the two have anything to do with each other!”
“Okay, so I messed up!”
“Consternation is what I’m feeling right now because you can’t seem to wrap your mind around simple, every day, phrases.”
“Sunburst…”
“And it’s not ‘Jumping to Collusions’, it’s jumping to conclusions! Just, how brain damaged does a pony have to be to have this collection of reasonably complex words in their head, but also dumb enough to just smash them into phrases like they’ve lost patience with a puzzle have just started forcing pieces together.”
“…”
“…”
“… You’re just lucky I can’t afford the rent here on my own or I’d affixiate you in a vacuum bubble like I did all those other ponies!”
“Oh my Celestia, Starlight! I can’t believe you!”
“… Did I say I affixiated those ponies in vacuum bubbles? What I meant to say is I’m investigating the vacuum bubble murders, and they just keep happening, leading me to believe that the murderer is framing me! Clue 1, the pony is someone very close to me! Possibly some pony in this very apartment!” Starlight declared as she eyed the corpse of the mayor suspiciously.
“It’s asphyxiated! Asphyxiate! As- phyx-i-ate! Maybe if you spent a little less time learning magic spells and just an iota of time learning how to spell at a grade-foal level, we wouldn’t have to have these conversations!”
Starlight’s eyes widened with fury as she grit her teeth hard. “I’m going to my room!” she said through clenched teeth as she did an about-face and walked out of the room.
“Well guess, what, ignoramus!” Sunburst pointed at the mayor’s corpse. “You’re still going to clean this up because being stupid doesn’t mean you can just walk away from cleaning up your own messes!”
We're supposed to be on vacation!
Wearing a death mask, a la Mother Talzin 's wrinkly, bleached, face, Starlight Glimmer emerged from the black cortosis caldron. "Have you seen my flesh?!" she asked a cavalcade of colorful ponies, many covered in blood, viscera, you know... the sort of stuff that happens every second in the Star Wars universe that the censors can't show. (Whoa! The Censors aren’t sure this is appropriate for Discovery Family.)
Sunset Shimmer and Trixie Lulamoon didn't know what to do with all the "Ha"s as they dropped the ribs they were busy sorting. (They were having a cookout of course… probably vegetarian ribs)
Starburst, his cape a splotched, if gloriously radioactive color of Christmastime crimson and neon peppermint green (He was painting), squinted at Starlight and did his best to grimace away a grin, "Staaaaaaaaarlight," he crooned, "We're suppose to be on vacation!"
"Yeah," chimed in Flash Sentry, a rib still dripping with red (probably not->) blood meatily smashed to his forehead, "from being treated like barricades against the tide of insanity that is living in Canterlot and it's thatch'd roof, glorified hut suburb."
"What, what, WHAT?! " Exclaimed Twilight in disbelief, trying her damndest to aim each 'What?!' at a specific target.
"How dare you?!" responded Adagio Dazzle, her horn jutting out from a, normally, fluffy mane now dripping with (probably The Censors have been waylaid by Banditos. Send help!. not->) body fluids. “There are plenty of fine establishments in Ponyville, like Rarity’s Boutique… uh… Panic Station’s ecliptic collection of carpets and surprisingly complete assortment of lab equipment…” she squinted upwards, searching her brain for at least one more notable town feature that set Ponyville apart from a hoe dunk collection of Earth ponies living in the shadow of an oligarchical day-nightmare castle. Her patient crescent grin appeared “…Twilight’s giant-ass crystalline Ent Entity that occasionally causes fires amongst the residence if the Eternal Empress of Ponykind is drunk off her arse (on SODA! ) and her death-orb of giant lasers is magnified until it becomes part of the insanity and decreases local property values.”
Aria Blaze, her lilac wings, covered with sausagy intestines (Probably vegetarian The Short..er..STOUT yellow banditos have sort of allowed us to continue or jobs sausages.) wings fully erect, smirked, “Somewhere in this ‘verse a forcian witch Alcolyt wincing like a couple billion voices cried out in offended and were too fuckin’ shocked to walk a couple blocks and knock.”
Vinyl Scratch, her white face and indigo-electric blue googles splashed Party Poison red, simply grinned slightly and nodded in agreement (Hasbro Approved. Oh Good, this part’s on brand. )
Starlight adjusted the droopy and still quite moist (Talzin was likely also eating messy ribs. Oh no! These copyrighted creatures are taking over our jobs!) face mask she was wearing. “So does anyone need to buy some Big Choopas, Grot-Prods, or Power Klaws? I already have enough for a Warbuggy…” Starlight survived her surroundings. “I do not need to spring for the red paint job.” (Starlight is VERY cheap! What?! No! Her marketability.)
Starlight once again grimaced past his clenched teeth. “Starlight, you know that paint stains alot better than blood! (Hurray! A furry creature has joined us to correct thought crime!Starlight sells almost as well as Twilight! The board will be furious!)
Starlight upturned her nose. “I want use every part of the buffalo!”
Sunburst raised an eyebrow, “Starlight! You’d have to use a shovel and fill a bathtub with ash to get some color out of most our victims!”
“Quary! Quary!” Twilight corrected. “As soon as that whole {Twilight air-quoted with her wings} Rancor Riding for the kids went awry, they became enemies of The State and we were duty bound to conquer their lands for Equestria.”
Flash twerked his lips. “Twi-baby, they were going to eat us, probably the kids first. It was written all over their faces.” (Whoa! That seems inappropriate for a TV-Y-7 show, we should bump that up to TV-MA! OH MY FUCKING GOD! HASBRO IS GOING TO SEND A HIT SQUAD AGAINST US AND OUR FAMILIES!)
“Mommy!” A midnight purple, splashed scarlet, alicorn colt cried out. “They were going to eat us for sure! This was some Three Kindomy nonsense trip!” (Eating kids is probably acceptable under TV-MA.No, you idiot! They are going to send two no that you used the eff word!)
“They where totally going to eat us!” Chimed in a eggplant colored Alicorn coltish tike.
“Mommy needed the cultural experience!” Twilight snapped back.
“Twiiiilight!” Crooned Sunburst.
“Traitor Husband!” snarled Starlight.
“We could have gone antiquing Hutt’s palace and it would have been safer than this trip.”
Starlight continued, “Ten-Thousand Traitor Legions upon your Hou-Wait, a minute… This might be my fault.” (Uh-oh… James Workshop might give us a threatening call! Like I fuckin’ care! Dead is dead, you dumb fuck!)
Sunburst whipped his head around. “Starlight, roughly everything is your fault!”
“It’s true!” Allegrezza agreed. “She told me if I said anything she’d kill me!” (Starlight threatening children is definitely on-brand! )
Author note: I’m tired of wrapping a description of every new pony, and there are myriads of new ponies on the way, so here’s the pups!
“Traitor cousin!” hissed a tiny, probably Sunburstian, mare named Starly, her horn jutting out the eye of a droopy, feminine face. Many of the ponies and Qurin present, especially those with curly hair just didn’t know what to pay attention to. Their wacka-doodled parents? The raw, but soon to be cooked face buffet that awaited? The fact that the author showed up long enough to explain he was going to phone in some things?
How dare you terror children! I hope you all enjoy the eye of terror, you briarpatching bastards!
(Well, I don’t know how tramatizing being thrown into a black-hollish gate to Chaos land is, but that’s probably irresponsible of a parent.Damnit, my causin Dale brought his fuckin’ “World Famous” Chilli. He’s only been to Canada and we LIVE here.)
“That’s unfair!” claimed Starlight. “Cheepy-cheep Twilight booked us a space-flight so cheep and friendtraininly M.C. Escherish that Sunset burned the ship down twice while we were still on it! I just was so put out about the experience I almost let us burn a second time.”
“Trixie saved everyone!” A tiny tike mare said, the spitting image of Trixie, if Trixie wore a bloody, bleached face for a cape instead of a shimmering purple cape. “I don’t know if she can teleport us out of the Eye of Terror.”
Sunset just chuckled crazily to herself. “I sure did, I sure did.”
Justice, the navy-blue alicorn self-insert nuzzled his hyper-wife. “Yes you did, and I was their to say ‘We don’t need no water, let this mother fucker burn.” (Ha! They could say that in a Tean fic, anyhow! No! Them Yellow banditos have rescued my horrible family! This is worse than the hit squads!) Sunset gave her husband a quick smooch, only to find the mischievous bastard had quickly donned Asajj Ventress’s face.
“Damnit Traitor Husband!” Spat out Sunset as she spat in attempt to clean her lips. “!,000 Astartees on your house!”
Justice bolted out of the cave, many confused colts, foals, and Qurins following him. “Sith-spawn! My hutt will collapse under that many space marines!.”
Not one to be outdone, Sunset her kids, clearly Justice’s kids as well, and a bunch of their cousins quickly dooned face masks, and/or face capes and gave pursuit, Sunset yelling, “No! My expensive gourdes!”
“Juuuuustice, Suuuuunset, You don’t even know where Ventress lives.”
“No, seriously,” Starlight growled. “I’ll wish enough traitor legions on your… bathroom that there are years in that thing I’m referencing.”
“We’re looking for a pile of Space Marines!” cried Sunset as she galloped further away.
“I was going to look for a crater full of my broken, gourdian-related, dreams!”
Starlight sighed. “I was going to eat those faces…”
Not even bothering to say her name, Sunburst turned. “Like all of them? Greedy to eat a many like that… You fat pregnant bitch!”
Everyone in earshot had a problem regarding their jaws and tripping over them. The rolling storm of laughter only increased when A tiny, Botton Mashian tyke wearing a dripping (Hah! Probably with bar-bee-q sauce!), tiny crown of fingers quickly crowned Aria Blaze. “You almost committed Titular Heresy! Now you are the Queen of the Zabraks!”
Aria Blaze reigned (Oh shit! Was that a speciest comment?!) in her hysterical laughter long enough to say “What?!”
“Hey!” Protested Vinyl (Whee! We finally offset toyetic cash-flow loss by adding marketability to a recently mute horse! Oh God! Hasbo is gonna release the nukes! ) “What am I going to do if I have to become a Princess, do I get a free Jedi Master?”
“Mom!” Barked a tiny coltish Vinyl Scratch. “You already have a horn! We made you a necklace of ears. Instead!”
As Vinyl was laughingly being leied, Sunburst exclaimed, “Horror child, those ears where supposed to be for the appitizers!”
“That’s right,” agreed Starlgiht. “Pinkie, Dan, your uncle, and I spent a lot of time dancing to Huie Lewis and the News and slicing off those ears with straight razors!”
Somewhere close… A certain Red Gas can watches a funeral pyre with an a white Astro Unit (R4-DA) and a dozen Jawas.
Author's Note
"Things are looking up, looking down." --Hellsing
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This chapter means we have to release a MATURE version later...
Author's Notes: The features on the site are a bit bork. For instance, paragraph spacing isn't correcting. Sorry for the alternative spacing.
“Buuuuuuuuuuuuck Yoooooooouuuuuu!” Yelled Mother Talzin Starlight Glimmer as she shook her head back and forth, the Talzin face jerking hither and tither.Etsy painting available https://www.stonebrewing.com/beer/arrogant-bastard-ale
://
Justice, Ventress’s wrinkled face still dangling from his horn, blue-streaked through a round red door, doorknob flung into the pale-bone walls of Ventress’s-er-her/him’s hovel. “Hello home, which was clearly a living, breathing, creature that the HOA marked for execution! I would have knocked, but realized it was my house.”
With a HELLISH deep blue and cyrillian flame a Kirin Ichiban with great-white shark and alicorn features, appeared. Her coat was technicolor and her mane was a blazing all chromatic. Technaro had returned to the land of the living, and Hell came (Cum… Can I just write cum?) with her.
[Onion Pepper Salsa D.]
-1
“Starlight! You gave the children a Pennant engine!”
“What are you doing in my house?!”
Dan & Pinkie ^
Panic Station and Order respond to Adagio’s quite rude remark (Order & Disorder, Panic & Calm… Discord & Eris can come too)
“OH my sticks and coins!” cursed Autumn Blaze as she got up to her hooves and shoock off the glass shards from her fur. She spun round and glared at Disorder. “You’re lucky I have a shell!”
“Yes! Luck! A good thing you have! Something I don’t really need at this particular moment! I need your help fixing a window!”
Autumn Blaze’s left eyebrow sank. “You don’t say.”
“Your Pinkie Pieish attitude won’t fix stained glass, my little Qurin!” declared Disorder. “I need help reparing a…” Discord peared downward towards the next paragraph, “…fresca!”
Autumn Blaze sighed as she once again dramatically spun to notice a fresca of mostly white, and canary yellow pieces scattered across the polished ivory floor. “Oooooh, good. Do you need me to get mad enough to slag it into a red-hot ball of glass so we can reshape it in Equestria’s maybe reigning Monarch?!” she posed.
“No!” Disorder replied curtly. “I could have done that! Well…” he tilted his head. “Not the part were we romantically reshape the molten glass, a la some ghosty movie from a planet you’ve probably never herd of.”
“…Shit!” And then Disorder was a Ghost.
“See, this is why I needed your help!”
“What was wrong with it?”
Order “I spent all century ignoring that!” he quipped about the broken window. “’Tia’s little, ‘And I’m everyone’s friend, Jesus!’ piece she had commissioned and installed at the cost of a Death Star II’s worth of independent contractors.
“Oh, good. A Valley under a too bright heaven!” He glowered upwards at the sun. “I bark at thee, [adverb] sky orb! I bark at thee.”
“Staaaarlight, you where right…” Crooned a, clearly, up until recently crying Sunburst. “Face when properly cooked is the best!”
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Carl Himself says 'Fuck no!' at the end of this! Or?
Throwing the mayor's stupid, racist corpse out the window, because, hey! I'm being reversed racismimed Starlight screamed. "So, the mayor of the city greeted us with 'Hey the world's most deranged couple!' And I screamed you are not being railroaded! I don't want this fic, so how about I let Carl himself do me doing him!"
"Outie!" Sunburst declared. "Too Much To Do About Nothing for me!" he sang.
"Carl dosen't need this damage!" Carl screamed. "Sunburst, don't be Equestria's biggest douch tornado because the host needs someone to help him."
"Yay!" GaaaBooo screamed in utter delight. "We've gone full meta! Justice keep writing this one, they basically, ...alright fine, just get back to 'All that Shimmers', you're basically threatening Sunset with your hotness."
