The CMC's Old Lives: Rebuilding What Was Broken
Apple Bloom awoke surrounded by blackness. There was the familiar sound of the door opening, and Apple Bloom felt a sickening sense of dread. She tried to squirm away from the sound or to see what had made it, but her legs were held still. Something was around her ankles holding her in place, the colt metal holding her tight, and there was something over her eyes. She heard hoofsteps walking towards her, hoofsteps she recognized, and she suddenly knew where she was. She felt a hoof touch her shoulder, and the dream melted away as she screamed out in horror.
“Apple Bloom! Apple Bloom, what is it? Are you ok?” Applejack yelled before bursting through the door to Apple Bloom’s room. The young filly was thrashing in her bed, screaming as loud as her voice would let her, and Applejack ran to her side. The moment her hooves touch Apple Bloom’s shoulder, the filly’s eyes shot open, and she leapt away to the corner of her bed. Her eyes slowly came into focus, and as she recognized the form of her sister, her body relaxed as she understood that it had been a dream. Tears were streaming down the filly’s cheeks as Applejack moved across the bed to hold her sister.
Apple Bloom buried her face in Applejack’s chest, and the mare held her tight as she softly cried. The fear refusing to leave her even as Applejack gently stroked her hair, the way she had when they were little. Applejack just held her sister close, letting her get it out of her system, and stared into the dark of the back of the room, feeling more helpless than she had since she’d first realized that her sister was missing.
It felt so strange being in the clubhouse again, Sweetie Belle thought. The soft brown of the walls, the pink shades, and even the hearts decorating the doorway, it almost felt alien to her. The sun was up and its rays shooed away the shadows that had been there when she had first arrived. Her hoofsteps echoed through the empty place as she paced nervously, waiting.
Sweetie had dragged a couple of the boxes out into the middle of the room to act as chairs. It came as a huge relief to hear that Twilight wanted to use the clubroom rather than the castle. Sweetie shuddered just thinking of the dark hallways, hallways that reminded her of the long hallway in that place. Her mind slipping back to that dark corridor and the door to the room she’d been kept in, she felt a cold shiver pass through her body.
“Hello, Sweetie Belle!” Twilight’s broke through the quiet and the startled filly let out a loud squeak, leaping to the back of the room. Twilight’s eyes followed Sweetie’s movements, and there was a brief look of concern before the smile came back to her face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you had heard me knock.”
“No, it’s alright. I was just...remembering something.” The filly replied, trying to match Twilight’s outwards enthusiasm with a friendly grin, but failing. Sweetie could tell from the way that Twilight was looking at her that the mare was seeing right through her, but she didn’t know how else to respond. Twilight sat herself down on of the boxes. The mare levitated her saddlebags on to the floor beside her, pulling out an empty book and a quill, gesturing for Sweetie to take a seat across from her.
“This ‘something’ that you were remembering, is it anything that you want to talk about?” Sweetie stood there for a few moments, not wanting to answer, but knowing she should. Twilight sat watching her, a picture of patience.
“No.” Sweetie quietly mumbled, before turning to sit on the box in front of the alicorn. “I’m sorry.” She said more loudly. Then, seeing the mare’s confusion, clarified, “About the boxes. We don’t have any chairs or couches or anything out here.”
“That’s fine, Sweetie. As long as you are comfortable, then its ok.” The mare just smiled pleasantly, and unlike so many other similar expressions that Sweetie had seen in the last week, she could tell that it wasn’t strained or forced.
“So, how are we supposed to do this?” The filly asked. “I’ve read about this kind of thing in books and stuff, but I never really thought I’d be, you know, doing it myself. I’m not sure I really want to do this anyway. I don’t even want to think about what happened, I certainly don’t want to talk about it.” Twilight put her quill down.
“I know that this won’t come easy for you.” The mare said, her voice gentle. “What you three went through was...unimaginable. So, I just want you to know that we will be doing this at your pace, when you feel ready for it. You still need to get in the habit of coming to these discussions. However, if all you want to do for the first few sessions is talk about something else, that’s fine too.”
“What else would I talk about?” Sweetie asked.
“Anything really. What it's been like staying with Rarity for the last week maybe?” Sweetie Belle smiled weakly.
“That’s been pretty cool. This is actually the longest that my parents, Rarity, and I have all been together since Rarity first bought the boutique.” She wasn’t lying, it had been fun to have the family together, hanging out and eating dinner together again. Rarity was being so uncharacteristically gentle with her though, and the way her parents looked at her like something that was seconds away from breaking…. Her smile vanished.
“They’ve been walking on eggshells around you, huh?” Twilight said, with a sad smile. Sweetie looked up in surprise, but nodded. Twilight sighed, “I know it’s frustrating, and I told them to try and avoid doing that. I can talk to Rarity about it for you if you want.”
“No. That’s ok. I can do it.”
“Ok. As long as that’s what you want.” There was a long silence as Twilight patiently waited for Sweetie Belle, the filly realizing and appreciating that Twilight was letting her decide when to continue.
“I….” She quietly started, Twilight leaning forward to hear better. “I’ll be honest Twilight, I don’t want to do this. I understand it’s important, I know I need to talk about what happened, but all I want to do is forget. The whole time I was...there, all I wanted to do was to go home and forget. I’m home now, and….” She wiped some dampness away from her eyes, “Nopony’s letting me. They keep giving me these looks when they think I’m not paying attention, treating me like I’m something broken that they need to avoid breaking even more. I don’t want to remember, but everywhere I go, everypony reminds me about it. It's making me sick.” The filly looked down at the floorboards, unwilling to meet the mare’s eyes.
“Sweetie Belle, do you mind if I get a little blunt with you?” The mare asked. Sweetie didn’t look up, but she nodded her acceptance. “Sweetie, I’m sorry, but you never will forget. Trauma like what you three experienced never fully disappears, and trying to bury it will only make it worse. What you need to do is accept that it happened, but also to understand that it doesn’t have to define you or change who you are. You aren’t broken, you aren’t ruined. You are Sweetie Belle.”
The setting sun threw long shadows across the orchard, but there was still enough heat in the day that Scootaloo found herself sweating as she walked home from her meeting with Twilight. A shadow shot across the ground, and Scootaloo didn’t even need to look up to see who it was. Somewhere in the sky above, a well meaning rainbow colored mare was watching her, making sure she was safe. If anything like this had happened even just a few weeks before, Scootaloo would have felt intruded on or even like her maturity was being insulted. After everything that had happened to her though, it felt good to know that somepony she trusted was watching her. So, Scootaloo just kept walking, letting Rainbow Dash continue to believe that the filly hadn’t noticed her aerial guardian.
The orchard gave way to the edge of town. There were a few ponies scattered around, but to Scooloo’s great relief, none of them paid much attention to her. She slowly drifted her way through the town, not really heading home. The shadow from overhead followed her, so she took her time, feeling perfectly safe. After a few minutes of walking, she saw what she was looking for, a young grey colt.
“Hey!” Scootaloo’s eyes lit up and her pace quickened. Rumble heard her call out, and he grinned and ran to meet her.
“Scootaloo! You back from talking with Twilight already?” He cheerfully asked.
“Yup! We didn’t talk for very long. So, want to find someplace to be alone?” She winked at him. Rumble’s wings fluttered excitedly.
“Are...are you sure? I mean, I don’t want to do anything that might make you….” Scootaloo interrupted him with a kiss. When she pulled away, Scootaloo’s face was almost as red as Rumble’s had gotten.
“I haven’t been able to be alone with my coltfriend in over two weeks. My aunts are gone, and Rainbow will understand. This is going to be our first chance in forever to just have fun together. Come on, lets go to the orchard.” She gripped his hoof and the two of them walked back the way Scootaloo had just come. Scootaloo made a point to go off the path so that they wouldn’t run into Twilight as the mare was walking home, and as they reached the orchard’s edge, Scootaloo noticed as Rainbow stopped following her, giving her the privacy she wanted. She was likely going to get yelled at tonight for not heading right home, but Scootaloo knew that Rainbow wouldn’t keep watching her for this part. Once they were far enough out of sight for Scootaloo’s comfort, she swung Rumble in front of her, and planted her lips over his.
The sun was down as Twilight walked Apple Bloom home. The filly kept close to the older alicorn as they walked, though neither said anything for the short trip. When they finally reached the front door, Twilight said goodbye to the filly.
“Remember, if you need to talk about anything, my door is always open. If not, then I’ll see you in three days.”
“I know, Twilight. Goodnight.” She turned back towards her home, and stepped in before Twilight had a chance to turn to leave. The screen door creaked loudly as it shut. Applejack looked up with a grin, setting the pan she was holding down.
“Hey there, Sugarcube! Dinner’s almost ready if you are hungry.”
“Thanks, Applejack.” Apple Bloom said with a yawn. She walked over to her sister and hugged her. Applejack rustled the filly’s hair, then turned back to cook. Apple Bloom moved to take a seat, but something was bothering her. “Hey Applejack, I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to scare you like that.” Applejack looked over her shoulder to see the filly with her head buried in her forelegs. Applejack set the pan aside, the food could wait, and walked over to sit next to her sister.
“Apple Bloom, please don’t apologize for that. It wasn’t your fault.” She said. ‘It was mine for not protecting you.’ Was all she could think. She hugged her sister again, “If there is ever anything I can do to make you feel safe again, please, just ask me. Ok?”
“Ok.” Apple Bloom responded weakly.
Dinner at Rarity’s went about as well as it normally did. Sweetie’s parents loudly talked about their day, jostling Rarity as they asked her questions, and Rarity answered politely through barely restrained frustration. It always amazing Sweetie Belle that they were all related, and she giggled to herself as she levitated more food onto her plate.
“Careful Sweetie Belle!” Her mother called over the table to her, “Eat much more and you sister will probably throw you on one of her diets.” She joked, but Sweetie saw the look in her eye. The look they kept giving her, and knew that her mother was going out of her way to keep Sweetie’s mind on the meal.
“Are you calling me fat?” Sweetie replied with a smile, though she got an uncomfortable feeling in the back of her throat that she wouldn’t go away, and suddenly her appetite was gone.
“Not at all. I’m saying my beloved older daughter has impossible standards.”
“Mother!”
Scootaloo and Rumble were lost in their passion, even as the sun started to set. Rainbow was supposed to be watching Scootaloo and the house for her aunts tonight, and Scootaloo knew she’d be mad if Scootaloo stayed out too late, especially after what had happened so recently. She needed this though. Not because it would feel good, not even because she missed her coltfriend, though both were obviously true. She needed this for another reason.
Their tongues danced against each other, their hooves feeling up the other’s body. Scootaloo could feel Rumble’s cock begin to swell against her belly, and suddenly she pulled away from the kiss, a look of alarm on her face.
“Something wrong?” Rumble asked, his eyes somewhat glazed with lust, but with genuine concern showing through. Scootaloo gave him a dirty grin as a response, then dove back in for the kiss. The hammering of her heart grew stronger as she felt her coltfriend harden. Scootaloo reached a shaking hoof down to try and feel her coltfriend’s cock, but she began to feel sick, and pulled her hoof back away. Rumble didn’t see this and just nibbled at her ear. He sat up and gripped both of Scootaloo’s legs in his hooves.
“You ready?” He asked. Scootaloo gave him another grin that then melted as she looked down and saw a cock about to penetrate her again. A sudden panic jolted through her. Instinctively, her hoof kicked out and hit Rumble in the stomach as she recoiled away. She instantly realized what she’d done and leaned forward towards him.
“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! Are you alright?” She asked, her voice quivering.
“Yeah. I’m fine.” Rumble asked, his face red. “What was that for?” He asked, more than a little confused. Scootaloo didn’t answer, she just pulled him into a hug, whispering apologies into his ear. He held her back. The two stayed like that for a few moments, and by the time they let go, the passion was gone. Rumble kissed Scootaloo’s cheek, then walked her back to town.
Applejack lay on her bed, her mind racing. It had been almost a week, but she still didn’t like falling asleep. She still couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d wake up to find her sister’s bed empty like it had been for those sickening six days when she was gone. She was snapped out of her thoughts by a small band of light from the hall stretching into her room as the door was opened.
“Applejack?” Apple Bloom called out weakly. “Are you awake?”
“I am. You ok, Sugarcube?” She asked. Apple Bloom walked up, her eyes watery, and Applejack could see how scared the filly was.
“Can I please sleep with you tonight?” The filly asked. Applejack lifted the covers for Apple Bloom to crawl in, and once the filly was nestled next to her, she wrapped a hoof around Apple Bloom, and held her close for a few minutes before she heard the filly’s breathing become more even as she fell asleep. Applejack rested her own eyes, nearly asleep herself when she heard Apple Bloom begin to mutter fearfully in her sleep. Tears welled up in Applejack’s eyes as she held her sister.
“Its ok. You’re safe now. I won’t let anything like that happen to you ever again.”
The night stretched on, but sleep would not come for Sweetie. She could hear Rarity talking to herself in her sleep and she giggled a bit, but otherwise she just lay there. As the night hours stretched into early morning, her eyes finally started to drift closed.
You are such a lucky girl.
Her eyes snapped back open and any hope of sleeping that night disappeared. So she just lay there, hooves folded over her stomach as she waited for the sun to rise.
The CMC's Old Lives: Rebuilding What Was Broken
A New Perspective and an Overdue Talk
The light of sunrise creeped through Sweetie Belle’s window at last. She rubbed her eyes, thoroughly exhausted, but the pit in her stomach had lasted all night. With a soft thud, she plopped her hooves down on the floor and made her way downstairs for breakfast. When she rounded the corner into the kitchen, Rarity looked up from the table and opened her mouth to speak. Then she saw how bloodshot Sweetie’s eyes were, and her expression twisted. Sweetie saw the full process; first shock, then sadness, and finally forced happiness. Rarity gave her biggest grin and gestured for Sweetie to sit next to her.
“Good morning! Mother and Father are out getting some groceries. Want me to make you a quick breakfast?” Rarity said. Sweetie shook her head.
“Nah, I just want a bowl of oats. Something I ate yesterday didn’t agree with me.” Sweetie replied, wincing a bit at a pain in her abdomen. She levitated the bowl down from the counter. Her horn ached as she did, and the bowl shook as it was slowly levitated down. Sweetie didn’t even need to be looking at Rarity, she could feel the look of concern the fashionista was probably wearing.
“Your horn still giving you trouble?”
“A little. It’s getting better though.” Sweetie said. She traced a hoof across her horn. There was still a slight indent there. The ring that had been used to suppress her magic had been embedded into the horn itself, and the injury was nowhere near healed yet. She’d been told the indent would never go away. Yet another thing she’d carry with her now.
“Sweetie?” Rarity’s concerned voice snapped Sweetie Belle back to what she was doing. Sweetie finished getting her breakfast ready, and hurried over to the table next to Rarity. As she began to eat, Rarity’s attention turned to a book she must have been reading before Sweetie Belle arrived. Feeling a little bad about interrupting her sister again, Sweetie Belle gently spoke up.
“Rarity?” The mare looked up in response. “Could you do me a favor?”
“Of course, Darling.” Rarity put her book down again so she could meet Sweetie Belle’s gaze. Sweetie was nervous for reasons she couldn’t really explain to Rarity.
“Could you walk with me to Sweet Apple Acres today? I have… I have something that I need to talk to Apple Bloom about.”
“Heya, Squirt!” Rainbow zipped down from the sky. Scootaloo, who had just been in her aunt’s backyard enjoying the morning sun, looked up in glee.
“Rainbow Dash! You’re still in town? I thought you had Wonderbolts practice today.” Scootaloo got up to open the door for Rainbow Dash, the two of them walking towards her aunts’ kitchen.
“Oh, I do. It’s not until later though. Most of the team is training potential recruits at the academy this morning. The proper practice isn’t until this evening.” Rainbow replied. Scootaloo knew full well that normally Rainbow would be taking part in the recruit training, but must have asked for the time off so the mare could check up on her. She feigned ignorance.
“Well, it’s cool you have the morning off then.” Scootaloo walked over to the cupboard and grabbed some cereal for the both of them. Rainbow Dash took a seat at the table, letting Scootaloo pour her a bowl before the filly sat down across from her.
“Yeah, it really is. I don’t get a lot of chances to relax before practice like this. I thought I’d use this time to stop by and see how you were doing.” The mare wasted no more time, the second she finished her sentence, she was inhaling the food. Scootaloo poured herself a bowl and tried to think of a good reply.
“Oh, well I appreciate that. Having you around so much since… since I got back has been really comforting.” She said. Rainbow looked up at her, somehow managing to look serious despite there being some oats stuck to her cheek.
“I’m really happy to hear that. If you ever need me around for anything, ask. I’m here for you, whatever you need.” She said. Scootaloo smiled weakly, poking at her bowl a bit. She opened her mouth to speak, but just as quickly closed it again. Rainbow noticed. “Is there something you want to ask?”
“Y...Yeah I guess. It isn’t about...what happened, or well, I guess it kind of is.” Scootaloo’s face was starting to turn a deep crimson. Rainbow noticed.
“This about Rumble?” She asked. Scootaloo nodded.
“Yeah, we had some issues. C...Can I talk to you about something personal?”
“Of course.” Rainbow replied, then raised an eyebrow, “About sex?” Scootaloo’s face somehow went more red and she lowered her eyes to her lap, then nodded again.
“When me and Rumble were... I mean when we tried to… it didn’t really work and….”
“Oh, that kind of thing happens. I remember my first time, the poor colt was so nervous he nearly put it in my...uh, nevermind. Anyway that is nothing to worry about. You two will….” Rainbow cut herself off when she saw Scootaloo’s face. “Ah, that’s not what was wrong then?” Scootaloo was thoroughly embarrassed now. She couldn’t even bring herself to look up at Rainbow.
“N...No, I mean that when he tried to, when I saw *it,* something came over me and...and....,” She wasn’t able to finish. It was just too embarrassing to talk about this kind of thing, not to mention humiliating to admit what had happened. Rainbow Dash leaned forward and quietly whispered to her.
“It made you go back to what *they* did to you?” Scootaloo nodded again. Rainbow sighed iritably. Scootaloo looked up a bit and saw the mare trembling with fury. Despite this, her voice was calm when she spoke.
“Have you talked to Twilight about this yet?” The filly shook her head. Rainbow took a moment, thinking about what she wanted to say. “Scootaloo, I have no idea what I’m doing really. I could teach you how to pitch a tent, how to skip class without getting caught…,” she paused a moment before grinning at Scootaloo, “...how to fuck a stallion so well he’ll never want anypony but you.” Scootaloo hid her face, and Rainbow got the faintest of smiles at the reaction. The smile disappeared immediately however. “This though? I don’t have any experience with this.” Scootaloo’s eyes started to water hearing that, not sure of what to do if her big sister couldn’t help her. “I’ll tell you what I do know, Squirt.” The filly looked back up through watery eyes to see Rainbow Dash give her the most determined look she’d seen from the mare. “They don’t own you. They don’t control you. Not anymore. Remember that the next time you and Rumble are...together. Also, if anypony ever tries to hurt you like that again…,” The mare grinned savagely, “I’ll tear them to shreds.”
Rows of apple trees were waiting. Sweat ran down Apple Bloom’s neck, but she didn’t notice. Her hooves connected with the trunk of one of the trees, a patch of apples plopping into a barrel waiting below them. Apple Bloom checked one last time to be sure that all of the ripe apples had fallen, and smiled with satisfaction when she saw that they had.
“You doing alright, Sugarcube?” Applejack asked her, pulling a cart of full barrels behind her. Apple Bloom nodded excitedly. Her muscles were still readjusting to this kind of work, but she missed being out here.
“Ah’m fine, Applejack. Thanks for checking though.” She replied. Applejack gave her an uncertain glance, but nodded and turned to leave. The squeaking of the wagon wheels slowly faded as Applejack returned to the barn with the load. Apple Bloom returned her focus to the harvest. The sun was still high in the sky, and she had plenty of time. Big Mac hadn’t given her much work that day, though more than she’d expected admittedly.
She continued to make her way through the southern orchard, bucking as she went. The wind blew through the rows of trees, rustling the leaves. Apple Bloom could no longer hear her sister, with her likely being most of the way back to the farm, and with no warning, Apple Bloom suddenly began to feel uncomfortable. Her heart was hammering, and she felt dizzy for some reason. A branch snapped behind her. With a sharp scream and a leap, Apple Bloom shot away from the sound, backing herself against a tree. Where the sound had come from, she saw the fuzzy tail of a spooked squirrel disappear into a bush. Apple Bloom leaned against the tree, eyes wide, not understanding what had just happened to her.
“Hello, Scootaloo. You just missed Sweetie Belle.” Twilight cheerfully said. Scootaloo closed the clubhouse door behind her, and walked over to one of the boxes that they’d been using as chairs and threw herself down on it. The old poster of Rainbow Dash smiled down at her from the wall, and somehow that made Scootaloo feel a little brighter.
“Yeah? How’s she doing? We haven’t talked much since we got back.”
“About as well as can be expected. Why haven’t you two been seeing each other?” Twilight asked. Scootaloo shuffled in her seat, her face glum.
“I don’t know. I’ve tried to talk to her a few times, but I think she’s avoiding me.”
“ I don’t think that’s it. She’s had...her own issues to deal with, and I think she just needs time to be by herself. She’ll come to you when she is ready, same with Apple Bloom.” Scootaloo nodded, understanding.
“Yeah, that makes sense.” She leaned back, her back pressing against the cold wall.
“Well, is everything else still going well? You know you can talk to me if you are having issues.” Twilight said.
“No, I really meant what I said last time. Things are going really well. My aunts have been super supportive and understanding, I got used to going to school again pretty quick, and with Rainbow Dash watching over me, I feel pretty safe.”
“I’m glad to hear that. You are readjusting a lot more quickly than I would have expected.”
“Yeah…,” Scootaloo stared up at the ceiling. “Things are still pretty different though.”
“Oh? How so?”
“Well,” Scootaloo struggled to think of how to explain what she meant, “I suppose things haven’t changed. What I really mean is, I think *I’ve* changed. Things feel brighter, funnier, prettier. I’ve stopped taking my scooter places if I know that Rainbow Dash is watching me. I feel…*here* more than I ever have.” Scootaloo paused, expecting Twilight to want to say something, but the mare just gestured for her to continue. “I don’t know how to explain it. After not being able to see the sunrise it suddenly becomes this big thing, you know?”
“I think I understand what you mean.” Twilight replied quietly. There was something in her tone, something like a mix of pity and admiration. Scootaloo wasn’t sure what to make of it, but she felt strangely satisfied to have finally said out loud something that’d been rolling around her head for so long. The two of them sat in silence for a bit as Scootaloo wasn’t sure what to say next, and Twilight gave her the time to think. After a moment though, when Twilight realized that Scootaloo wasn’t sure what to say next, the mare stepped in.
“What about you and Rumble?” Twilight asked. Scootaloo stiffened.
“What about us?”
“Well,” Twilight leaned forward, noting Scootaloo’s somewhat deflective response, “Have you two been doing well? Rainbow told me that you two were dating, and what you went through can...strain relationships.” Twilight’s face stayed pleasant, but there was some worry in her eyes as Scootaloo struggled to answer.
“Well, we’ve been…. Things have….” Scootaloo’s face was crimson red. She couldn’t talk about *that* with Twilight. It was one thing discussing what those stallions had done to her; that was forced on her. This was different, personal. She had barely managed to talk to her sister about it. Feeling Twilight’s eyes on her, and realizing she hadn’t really answered, Scootaloo unconsciously curled up a bit.
“Have you been having problems?” Twilight asked, understandingly. Scootaloo felt horrible. She didn’t want to hide anything. She fully understood that Twilight could help her, and that she could trust Twilight with keeping this a secret, but….
“No.” The filly lied.
The walk to Sweet Apple Acres put a pit in Sweetie Belle’s chest. Everything about this walk was so familiar, but...nothing was the same now. Rarity kept close to her, her eyes scanning the environment. Sweetie Belle smiled. Much of Rarity’s recent behavior bothered her, but there was always something both comforting and entertaining about the fashionista when she was in guard dog mode. Apple trees gave way to a flat patch of land, the Apples’ barn in the center, casting a long shadow from the evening sun. when they reached the entrance of the Apples’ home, Rarity reached out and lightly tapped on the door. Applejack answered the door.
“Rarity! It’s good to see you, and….” Her eyes went wide, and the mare grinned from ear to ear. “Sweetie Belle! My goodness, I’m so glad to have you over. You two come right in and make yourselves at home, I’ll go get Apple Bloom.” The mare quickly ran off without even waiting for a reply. Sweetie Belle looked up at Rarity in confusion. Rarity met her gaze with a sad expression.
“Apple Bloom hasn’t been doing very well I’m afraid. I’m guessing Applejack is hoping that a visit from you will help.” Rarity said. A pang of regret hit Sweetie all at once. ‘How could I have been so selfish. Apple Bloom needed me, and all I could think about was how hard it would be for *me* to see her.’ Sweetie Belle struggled to stop herself from crying as she gave a forced smile to Rarity.
“Well, it has been a while since we’ve had time to talk.” Was all she managed to say. The two walked into the main area of the living room and waited. Applejack returned shortly. Apple Bloom was right behind her, almost hiding behind the older mare’s legs. She looked at Sweetie Belle for a moment, but when Sweetie waved at her, the filly’s eyes shot to the floor. Sweetie had never hated herself more than in that moment. ‘I could have at least come over once, gotten over myself and just checked in. She probably thinks I’m mad at her.’ This needed to be sorted out as quickly as possible. It was almost physically painful for Sweetie to see her friend hurting like this. Applejack shifted nervously, the grin from before having already turned forced when she realized her sister wasn’t quite as happy to see Sweetie as she had hoped. Applejack looked to Sweetie desperately, and the filly could see all the sleepless nights and all the worry in her tired eyes. Sweetie shot the mare a comforting smile.
“I’m sorry to ask this, since I just got here and haven’t even really said hello yet, but do you mind if me and Apple Bloom go to her room for a while? There are some things that we really need to talk about.” Rarity seemed a bit upset. She likely was looking forward to a conversation with all four of them, but Applejack spoke before Rarity could object.
“Of course, Sugarcube. You two take all the time you need. I’ll get some tea ready with Rarity for whenever you two are done.” The mare then roughly pulled an objecting Rarity into the kitchen. Apple Bloom turned towards her room, gesturing for Sweetie to follow, but not even glancing up at her. The two quietly walked down the hall until they reached Apple Bloom’s room, the apple filly waiting at the door for Sweetie to enter first. When she did, Apple Bloom closed the door behind them. Despite her slow movements and glum face, Sweetie could see the glimmer of joy in her eyes. Sweetie sat down on the other filly’s bed, tapping her hoof on the mattress next to her. Apple Bloom understood, and walked over, plopping herself down beside Sweetie. She lay back and stared at the ceiling, while Sweetie started at her hooves.
“It’s been a while, since we’ve had time along like this, I mean.” Sweetie managed. Apple Bloom hummed a response, but didn’t move. “So, Apple Bloom, I wanted to talk about...what happened, what you said.” Apple Bloom turned over and buried her head in the mattress. “Apple Bloom…,” Sweetie Belle’s were starting to water. “Apple Bloom, please look at me.”
“You hate me.”
“I do not hate you. I told you that I wasn’t mad.”
“Then why have you been avoiding me? Scootaloo at least talks to me.” The filly choked back a sob, and Sweetie was barely able to maintain her own composure.
“I know I’ve been avoiding you, and I’m sorry. I’ve been avoiding Scoots too. It isn’t anything personal, I just...I just really didn’t want any reminders about what happened for a little while. I’m ready to talk now, and I promise you, I’m not mad.” The apple filly turned her head slightly, poking an eye out to look at Sweetie. When she saw Sweetie’s eyes brimming with tears, she crawled onto the bed fully and rose into a sitting position. The filly’s eyes were puffy and red, and she ran a hoof over her muzzle as she sniffed loudly.
“I’m…*hic*...I’m sorry.” The filly managed.
“Apple Bloom, please don’t apologize. They made you do that.”
“But I liked it. You were miserable, and I….”
“I told you then, even if I hated doing it, I was glad you were happy for once. After everything that happened to us, it actually meant a lot to me that I could make you happy.” Sweetie smiled more sincerely than she had in days. “You mean a lot to me, more than I think you know.” She said. Apple Bloom looked down at the bed.
“You don’t...like me the way I like you though, do you?” The filly asked. Sweetie’s heart ached for her friend in that moment, but she knew that lying now would only make things work.
“No. I’m so sorry.” She quietly replied. Apple Bloom finally broke down, all composure broken. She bent over, and loudly sobbed. Seeing her friend like this was too much for Sweetie and the filly couldn’t hold back anymore either. Her chest shook as she cried. “I’m so sorry. I wish I felt that way. I just…,” Sweetie moved over to wrap her hooves around Apple Bloom’s body, holding the filly’s shaking form to her own. “...I just want you to be happy.” Apple Bloom held her back, tears soaking into Sweetie’s chest.
