Your Family and You

It was about an hour since the sun crept into the sky when Luna found me out on Celestia’s private balcony. I had dragged one of the many cushions she had outside and was lounging as I watched the comings and goings of the ponies down in the city streets below. There was a scent in the air that I couldn’t quite place, no matter how many times I sniffed.

“Rain,” Luna said as she stepped out beside me.

One of my ears twitched of its own volition. “Excuse me?”

“Rain,” she said again. “That’s what you are smelling.”

“Can’t be rain,” I said, glancing up at the clear sky above me. “There aren’t any clouds, and there are no pegasi gathering any, either.”

“That’s because you’re looking in the wrong direction.” Moving to the edge of the balcony, Luna peered over the side. “Sometimes our inability to notice something obvious stems from the fact that it goes against the norm we are used to.”

“What?” Getting to my hooves, I approached the edge as well. Upon glancing over, I saw a thick layer of clouds was beginning to form—not above the city, but below it. Pegasi flitted around beneath the edge of the city, knitting the clouds together until the landscape below was obscured by a blanket of dark gray fluff.

“Oh… right. Mountain city. We’re high on the mountain. Right. Completely forgot about that.” I watched the dark, swirling clouds for a moment before leaning towards Luna. “Is… this something to be concerned about?”

“Of course not,” Luna scoffed. “We are up there and it is down there.”

“I meant for Twilight and Celestia.”

“Oh.” She was silent a moment before shaking her head. “Neigh. The storm itself isn’t scheduled until late this afternoon. Far from our planned meeting. Although, there are reports of a heavy fog layer below, which will no doubt delay their train. Nothing more, though.”

“So, that means we have a few hours before they arrive, right?” I asked.

“We’d say so,” Luna nodded. “Day court has been canceled again, so there’s nothing to attend to until you and Tia have been returned to your correct bodies.”

“I see…” Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I hummed softly to myself. A plan had started to form in my head shortly after I got up this morning. A plan for… something. I couldn’t just leave Celestia alone, not after everything she’d done to me recently. This would be a way to get her back for all her meddling. I wasn’t entirely sure if I could pull it off, though.

Maybe… maybe with Luna’s help?

I guess it couldn’t hurt to ask.

The worst she could say is ‘no’, right?

…

I ran over what I was going to ask one last time before turning to Luna fully. “Hey, so… quick question. Weird question, actually. Can you and Celestia change your appearances at all?”

Luna cocked her head to the side. “In what manner, pray tell?”

“You know… so you don’t look like yourselves.” I waved a hoof around. “A disguise or illusion or something. So ponies won’t recognize you when you go out. Make yourself smaller. Change your mane. That sort of thing.”

“Of course.” Luna’s horn glowed and there was a bright flash. A unicorn mare stood in her place now. Her coat was the same color as Luna’s but her mane was the silver of a moonbeam. On her flank was a cutie mark of a paint palette in the shape of a crescent moon, with various splotches of blue paint.

“It’s a fairly simple spell, but extremely useful,” the new mare explained. Even her voice was completely different than Luna’s, with almost a New Yorker accent. “Especially when we don’t want our subjects fawning over us at every step. With this, we can blend into any crowd and go about our business with ease.”

“Okay, but… how realistic is it?” I asked as I circled her new body. “Like, if you sprain an ankle in this form, does it stay sprained when you return to normal?”

The mare nodded. “Yes. Any injuries sustained adorn our usual visage upon transformation. We’ve been shot with an arrow while in this form before, and the wound was still present later.”

“Good, good,” I said absently. “Okay, so… just one last question.”

The mare cocked an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“Can you cast that spell on me too?” I asked with an almost feral grin.

~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~

“We can’t believe you did that…”

I smirked at the unicorn currently walking beside me down the packed streets of Canterlot, but said nothing. The early morning haze over the city had given way to a late morning humidity that was really clinging to the mountain-side city. Ponies were already removing sweat-stained articles of clothing and the cafes dotting the marketplace were getting extra patronage as ponies tried to escape inside for something cool to drink. It was the type of Spring day that promised a hot Summer to come.

Luna and I—or rather, Starry Night, as she asked to be called in her current form—were out amongst the shops in the main city, though we were headed back to the palace. She was in the unicorn form she had shown me earlier while I was now in the form of a pale-pink pegasus with golden locks of curly hair and a sunflower adorning my flank. The humidity wasn’t doing any favors for my mane though, and it was starting to get really frizzy.

After learning that Luna could indeed place the disguise spell on me, I just had to pay a visit to a certain shop that Avera had told me about once in passing. It had taken a while for us to find it, as I couldn’t remember the exact street Avera had said it was on; just the general location. Still, once we found it, the visit itself hadn’t been too long—although it had been a little uncomfortable at one point—and we were going to make it back to the palace with time to spare before Twilight and Celestia showed up.

Walking beside me, Luna sighed heavily. “Had we known what you had planned, we would never have agreed to this.”

My only answer was for my smirk to grow.

“We hope you know what trouble you’ve put yourself in,” Luna said. “When Celestia finds out about this, well… you’ve only yourself to blame for the horror that is to come.”

I chuckled to myself and shook my head, only to wince. Stopping for a second, I lifted a hind leg and gave it a good shake, trying to ease some discomfort. Luna waited patiently as I adjusted myself, but from the look on her face, I could tell she still didn’t approve of my actions.

“Let it never be said,” she muttered, “that you do not have balls, dear friend.” Several passing ponies gave us weird looks and out of the corner of my eye, I saw several of them glancing between my legs in confusion.

“However,” Luna continued, “you are lacking in the department of common sense. Still, it is good that Twilight Sparkle has already caught you, lest we find ourselves more than willing to deal with the headaches you surely cause.”

One of my ears twitched and I gave her a confused look.

“We prefer stallions that are more bold than cautious,” Luna said, and finally a smirk of her own crossed her muzzle. “And after your actions today, we can safely say that you fit the bill. We hope you survive our sister’s wrath, as We definitely wish to spend more time with you in the future.”

I gave her a feral grin before sticking out my tongue at her, the new golden barbell glinting brightly in the sunlight.

~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~

We could hear them coming from down the hall.

We had retired to Celestia’s bedroom shortly after returning. At some point when we were gone, someone had come in and changed the sheets, as well as removed the dirty dishes and empty wine bottle I had left beside the bed last night. A quick check into the private apartment area showed that someone had cleaned in there too.

Okay, now I felt like a bit of an ass. Hopefully, it didn’t take them too long to clean up all that spilled wine and broken glass.

Lounging on one of the large cushions that dotted the floor of Celestia’s room, my ear twitched in time to the clip-clopping of Twilight’s hooves as they echoed through the slightly opened door. Alongside that was the faint sound of her speaking, but the words were too muffled to make out what was being said.

In the corner, Luna rested on a cushion, her belly pointed up towards the ceiling and her wings spread wide. She reminded me of a dog basking in a patch of sunlight. Her ear twitched as well before she stretched, groaning loudly. “Ah, good. They’ve finally arrived.” Fighting back a yawn, she rolled over and got to her hooves.

“Here we go,” I mumbled as I got to my own hooves. No sooner had we gotten up, then the bedroom door opened and Twilight walked in followed shortly by myself.

God, it was so weird looking at my body from the outside. There was just something eerie about it.

Upon seeing me, Twilight perked up. “Oh, Princess Celestia! Luna! There you are. We’ve been looking for you. I’m so sorry we’re late. We would have been here sooner if somepony hadn’t insisted on showering alone.” She gave my body a sour look.

Celestia just crossed my arms and gave an exacerbated sigh as she looked at me. “Please tell me that you’ve managed to find a solution to this unfortunate situation.”

I grinned, my wings fluffing slightly. “Possibly. I’m not too sure about it now though. I’m starting to enjoy the finer things in life.”

“You can’t be serious,” Celestia said, gaping at me.

“Nah,” I deadpanned. “You can have it back. It’s more trouble than it’s worth.”

“I… don’t understand,” Twilight said, glancing back and forth between the both of us. “What’s going on? What situation? What are you giving back? I thought we were coming here to help Max with his medication problem?”

“That was a lie,” I said.

“A… a lie?” Twilight took a step back, her eyes wide. “Why would you… why would you lie about that?!” Her wings flared and she took up an aggressive stance. “I thought something was actually wrong with Max. Something is actually wrong with Max! Why would you lie to me?!”

I nodded my head towards Celestia. “To get her here, actually.”

Twilight opened her mouth to shout something else, only to pause, a confused look crossing her face. An ear twitched, almost like she was trying to clear it of some unknown obstruction. “Wait… ‘her’?”

“Don’t worry,” I said with a smile. “It’ll make sense in a moment, Sparklebutt.” As Twilight mouthed the word ‘Sparklebutt’, a look of dawning realization (and horror) on her face, I turned to Luna. “You ready to do this?”

“As ready as we’ll ever be,” she replied. A flash of magic later, the spellbook hovered in front of her in a cloud of blue magic.

Celestia perked up. “Oh good! You did find the needed spell. I’m assuming that means that Luna knows the full story?”

“Of course,” Luna answered, peering over the top of the book and giving Celestia a smug look. “We were informed of the situation almost immediately, and it has been mostly us that have found the solution. Why you deemed it necessary to keep it a secret from one of the few ponies that could have actually helped you out, we shall never know, but what’s done is done.”

“It was… I had to keep it… you wouldn’t understand,” Celestia stammered out, a hint of red touching her cheeks beneath the beard.

“What’s going on?!” Twilight asked, a hint of panic entering her voice.

“Be calm, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna said. “We need full concentration when casting this spell. Do not distract us.” Flipping the spellbook open to the bookmarked page, she looked over the spell one last time before clearing her throat. “Alright. Now, if both of you would stand in front of us, this shouldn’t take too long.”

Celestia and I did as instructed, coming face to face in front of Luna. Now that we were closer, I could see that Celestia looked haggard. There were dark bags under her bloodshot eyes and her beard was unkempt.

Her beard…

My beard…

…

Fuck, this was getting too confusing again. Time to fix this fuckup.

Luna muttered under her breath for a moment, her nose in the book, before suddenly straightening up. The magic around her horn grew brighter and actually started to swirl in a counter-clockwise manner. She continued mumbling even as her eyes began to glow white.

Suddenly, twin bursts of magic flew from the tip of her horn and struck both me and Celestia in the chest. It felt like the breath was stolen from my lungs and I couldn’t stop a gasp escaping my lips. A deeper gasp across from me told me that Celestia was experiencing the same sensation. The magic continued to grow in intensity until it was almost blinding.

Then almost as suddenly, the magic ceased.

Blinking the stars from my eyes, I looked around.

“Did it work?” I asked. Or tried to ask, but no words came out. Which would make sense, seeing as I didn’t have a body anymore. Glancing down, I saw that both our bodies were collapsed upon the floor unconscious. Wisps of luminous smoke wafted up from our various orifices, leading up to two figures hanging over the bodies—a vaguely-humanoid figure hovering over Celestia’s body and a vaguely-equine figure hovering over my body.

‘Huh… you know, at this point, I’m not even shocked anymore,’ I mused as I stared down at my luminous form. Out of the corner of my… eye, I guess… I saw Twilight gaping up at the glowing forms with wide eyes, her jaw on the floor.

Eyes squeezed shut, Luna grunted before lifting her head slightly. For a moment, nothing happened but then I felt a strange tugging sensation around my middle. Slowly, we began to drift around until both forms were over their respective bodies.

“That… should… do it,” Luna grumbled. The magic around her horn flared once and there was another blinding flash. The room was consumed in white.

As my vision slowly returned, I was overjoyed to find myself back to having half the world in darkness again. I didn’t realize how much I’d gotten used to having one eye until this weekend, and honestly… I don’t think I’d ever want to go back to binocular vision again. It felt too jarring now.

Pushing myself into a seated position, I sighed happily as I stared down at my hands. “Fuck yeah. I’ve missed you, buddies. How’ve you been?” In answer, I cracked my knuckles. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

A choking sound made me glance up. Twilight was still just sitting there, stunned. Her jaw was moving and it was clear she was trying to form words. “You… and her… but you were her… and she was… but that means… when did you… so that… oh my gosh.” Her pupils constricted to mere pinpricks. “I… I flagged… my tail… in front of… P-p-princess… Princess Ce… Celestia… aaaah.” Air escaped her in a long, high-pitched sigh before her eyes rolled up and she slumped to the floor.

“Oh shit!” Scrambling to my feet, I crouched down beside her and checked for vitals. Thankfully, she was still breathing. She had only fainted. “You know… I was actually expecting a stronger reaction than that,” I mumbled.

From across the room, Celestia groaned and began to stir.

Oh shit…

Scooping up Twilight into my arms, I turned to Luna, who was storing the book beneath her wing. “Luna, you need to send us back to Ponyville. Right now.”

“What?” She blinked, an ear twitching.

“You need to send us back to Ponyville,” I repeated, the urgency clear in my voice. “Like, right now. Immediately. Either teleport us or send us to Spike, but we need to go now!”

“We don’t understand…”

“That was rather unpleasant,” Celestia mumbled, only to pause. A look of confusion crossed her face, and she began to run her tongue over her cheeks. “What is…?”

“Luna, now. Please!” I begged.

A look of understanding dawned on Luna’s face.

“What is… what did you do?!” Celestia said, her words coming out slurred. Sticking out her tongue, she went crossed-eyed as she stared down at the barbell for a moment before surging to her hooves.

“Luna, come on. Help me out here!”

“What is the meaning of this?!” Celestia yelped, only to pause again. Her back legs shifted as a look of pain crossed her face. Lifting a hind leg, she peered under her barrel. “What in the world…?” Suddenly, her back stiffened.

“Luna, for all that is good and holy, do it now!”

Luna shook her head, but her horn began to glow.

Celestia let out a squawk of indignation. “You got my bucking TEATS pier—?!”

The world dissolved into darkness. An invisible force hooked me around my navel and yanked me backward as intense pressure closed in on me from all sides. I held Twilight’s limp form against my chest, holding on for dear life as we were flung through the void.

Just as my body was beginning to indicate a need for air, there was a flash of green light. With a thud, Twilight and I landed on the floor of the library.

“Ugh, my stomach,” Spike groaned as he rubbed his belly. “Why didn’t you guys just take the train again?”

“Wha… what’s going on?” Avera asked, clearly having just woken up. She peered over the armrest of the couch.

Ebony looked over as well, only to gasp when she saw the unconscious form of Twilight. “H’ohmygosh! Twilight! What happened?!”

I looked around at the three of them for a moment before I burst out laughing. Unable to help myself, I laid there, cackling madly as the others watched on in confusion and growing worry. I ignored them though, my laughter echoing around the library.

It was good to be home.