We were both quiet—alone with our thoughts—until we reached the sisters’ private dining room. It was empty when we arrived, not another soul in sight. Settling down upon cushions on either side of the table, we had to only wait a few moments before the waitstaff suddenly appeared. I must have blinked, because one second the table was clear, and in the next, it was covered in several large bowls of pasta, salads, and various fruits.

The staff bowed before disappearing and leaving me and Luna to ourselves.

Without missing a beat, Luna grabbed a plate in her magic and quickly piled it high with food. Her nose was already buried in the spellbook as the plate settled down in front of her, followed by a goblet of juice.

It took some maneuvering, but I was able to fill my own plate. I picked absently at the pasta for a few minutes before sighing. “How badly did I screw Celestia over?”

“Hmmm?” Luna glanced up from her book, a string of noodles dangling down her chin. She stared at me before slurping them up. “What are you talking about?”

“Our encounter with the nobles?” I sniffed. “My response to them; how badly did I just screw Celestia over?” As much as I loathed her at the moment, I didn’t want to make her life harder than it already was. Especially when it came to the nobles.

“Oh. That.” Turning back to her book, Luna shook her head. “We doubt that you’ve made the situation worse than it already is. In fact, we’d wager that you’ve actually helped our sister out in the long run.” Holding her fork in her magic, she slurped up some more noodles, the long strands flicking and twitching as they were sucked between her lips.

I gave her a bemused look. “...I did?”

“Yes,” Luna hummed, one of her cheeks bulging with food. “That particular group has been a thorn in her side for nearly two weeks. Of course, she’s been dealing with them in her usual manner—tip-hoofing around them and trying to not get too involved. While your method was a little more direct than she’d normally be, the results should actually be more beneficial.”

“But… the nobles won’t give her any trouble, will they?”

“Those fools?” Luna tittered. “They aren’t nobles. Well, not real nobles. They are minor nobles; members of the local business guild within the city. The only trouble they cause is being an annoyance when they don’t get their way, which is most of the time. Getting knocked down a few pegs will be good for most of them.”

“So, nothing to worry about?” I asked tentatively.

“Most certainly not,” Luna said as she returned to her book. “If anything, you might have made things harder for yourself. We’re pretty sure that after this, our sister might be requesting your help with other situations in the future.”

I slumped back down on my cushion. “Fuck that. Ain’t happening. No way, no how.”

“We shall see,” Luna chuckled.

Silence fell over the room again as we both tucked into our food; Luna with a bit more elegance than me. She held a fork in her magic, twirling it expertly through the noodles before bringing them to her muzzle. Only then did her prim and proper image suffer, with the long noodles dangling from her lips and chin, making her look like a ponified Cthulhu than anything else.

At least it was better than my method. Thank god no one else was present, as I don’t think any ponies would survive the sight of their glorious Princess Celestia consuming her food like a starving dog—her muzzle pushed firmly against her plate.

…

What? I wasn’t even going to try and figure out how to hold a fork with my hoof. I was hungry, food was there, I was going to consume it in any way possible.

I had just finished my first plate and was filling up a second one when there came a sudden pressure in the back of my head. It started off dull at first—almost a tickling feeling—but the more I tried to ignore it, the more it slowly began to grow until my head was practically throbbing with a migraine.

My half-eaten plate forgotten, I clutched my head in my hooves and groaned as my eyes felt like they were going to pop from my sockets. “Fuuuck…”

“What’s wrong?” I heard Luna ask.

“My head… is gonna… explode….” I groaned out, the pain becoming almost unbearable. My ears were ringing, stars were bursting behind my closed eyelids, and I could feel my pulse in my head. The pressure continued to grow and grow and grow until suddenly...

A massive sneeze tore itself from my muzzle, sounding more like a gunshot as it echoed around the room. The pressure erupted out my nose, but instead of a torrent of snot, a cloud of smoke roared from my nostrils. It swirled about my head for a moment before condensing into a burst of green fire.

With a soft ‘flump’, a scroll landed on the table in front of me.

“Holy shit,” I breathed, blinking owlishly. The pressure from before was completely gone and with it the pain. In fact, it felt as if nothing had happened. “Is it always like that?” I asked Luna as she poked the scroll. “Does her head almost explode every time she gets mail? Fuck, that suuucks.”

“By the Maker, no,” Luna said, shaking her head. “Then again, she’s never held it in before. Tia knows the signs of an incoming dragonfire letter, so she releases the magic almost instinctively. You, on the other hoof, do not know the signs, and as such, suffer the consequences of magical build-up.”

“Yeah, well… that sucked,” I said lamely. Running my tongue over my teeth, I glanced at the scroll. “So, who’s it from and what does it say?”

Picking up the scroll, Luna glanced at the contents before reciting.

“Dear Princess Celestia,

I wish to preface this letter by saying that I’m not sure if this is a subject you can help me with, but I don’t know who else to turn to right now. It’s about Max. Ever since he’s returned from Canterlot, he’s been acting strange. Well, stranger.

He’s more distant than he was when he left, so much so that I feel like he might be actively trying to avoid me. I’ve had to initiate any intimacy, even something as minor as a kiss or a nuzzle. Last night, we actually slept apart for the first time since the Canterlot Incident. To make matters worse, when I was doing laundry, I found long, yellow hairs on his shirt that clearly didn’t come from me or anypony living in the library at the time.

It might be a little too early to start worrying, but I can’t help it. The signs are there. I think Max has lost interest in me and has found somepony else in Canterlot.

Please, is there any advice you can give me? Anything at all? I don’t want to lose him.

Sincerely,
Twilight Sparkle”

“Oh dear,” Luna frowned. “It would seem that things in Ponyville aren’t going so well. It seems Tia’s wish to keep the situation secret is coming back to bite us in the flank.” Placing the scroll on the table, Luna rubbed her chin with a hoof. “We… aren’t sure what we should do about this…”

“Luna.”

“Hmmm?” She glanced up at me, an ear twitching. “Yes?”

“Can you write a letter for me?” I asked, tapping the table with a hoof.

For a moment, she just stared at me, but then in a flash of magic, a scroll and quill hovered in front of her. With a soft smile on her lips, she inclined her head to me.

Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I began.

“Dear Twilight Sparkle,

While I am sorry to hear such woes in your budding relationship, I believe your fears may be unfounded. I do not believe your mate is cheating on you. According to several eyewitnesses, Max paid a visit to Miss Sunny Breeze during his stay here, and I am told that the pair spent the afternoon catching up with one another. That is likely where he acquired the yellow hair on his shirt.

As for his behavior, that may be an unintended side-effect to the medicine he was given during his check-up. According to the Healers, the medicine may make him appear distracted or distant, and even cause behavioral shifts. While these symptoms should dissipate after a few days, the Healers—as well as myself—believe that it would be in his best interests to return to Canterlot Castle so that the symptoms can be properly addressed.

If you wouldn’t mind, please escort him to the castle tomorrow so that we may sort this out as soon as possible.

Yours,

Princess Celestia”

“That…” Luna paused to reread the letter she had just written. “That’s actually… ingenious. You’ve managed to keep both your conditions a secret, while getting Twilight to bring Celestia to Canterlot tomorrow in such a way that there is little to no suspicion on her part.” She tapped her nose with the tip of the quill before making some small edits and then casting a quick-drying spell on the ink. Rolling up the scroll, she looked at me a moment, her mouth open, before shaking her head. “Nevermind.”

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing. We shall take care of it.” She took a deep breath, held it in, and then puffed out her cheeks. A moment later a torrent of turquoise flames streamed from between her pursed lips, consuming the scroll and sending it on its way in a cloud of smoke.

“Holy shit,” I breathed.

“Bleh!” Luna smacked her lips. “That always leaves a strange taste in our mouth.” Scrunching up her muzzle, she took a drink from her goblet. “Not enough. It shall be with us for a while yet. Unfortunate.” She went to take another sip, only to pause when she caught sight of my face. “What is the matter?”

“Does Twilight not trust me that much?” I asked as I stared glumly at my food. “It’s barely been a day, and she thinks I’m cheating on her? I get that Celestia isn’t acting like me, but still… it’s only been a day.”

For a moment I thought Luna was going to remain silent, but when she finally spoke, her voice was strained. “We… don’t think that’s correct. She most likely doesn’t truly believe that you’d be unfaithful, but she might have the uncertainty amplified by her hormones.”

“Hormones?” I glanced up from my food. “So, the hormones from her estrus could still be affecting her? Even after a few weeks?”

For a moment, Luna looked like she had swallowed a lemon. “...Yes,” she grunted out from around clenched teeth. “Tis possible… that they are still affecting her.” Glancing away, she grumbled something inaudible.

I stared at her before slowly nodding, although a frown crossed my muzzle. “I… guess that makes sense. A little.” Silence fell for a few tense seconds before I sighed heavily. “The sooner I’m back in my old body, the better. It’s only been a day, I haven’t done anything major, yet I’m tense, tired, and stressed. Definitely gonna have a nightmare tonight,” I finished under my breath.

Luna’s ear twitched. “If you’d like, you can always return to the comfort of Tia’s room. With the acquisition of this spellbook, there is nothing more we need to accomplish today.”

“So, what?” I blinked. “Just retire early?”

“It’s not that early,” Luna sniffed. “Tis almost time to lower Tia’s sun again.” She paused, an ear cocking weirdly to the side. “Actually, we might be a little late in doing so.”

Ignoring her comments about moving the sun, I chewed on the inside of my cheek. “I… might actually do that.” My thoughts drifted towards the cake-filled fridge and the full wine racks. “That seems like it’d be a good idea.”

“Do you know the way back?” Luna asked.

“I think so,” I said. Leaning down, I grabbed one last mouthful of noodles before standing up, my cheeks bulging with food. Chewing, I called back over my shoulder as I walked away. “Good night, Luna. See you tomorrow.”

“Sleep well,” Luna called back before burying her nose back into the spellbook.

~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~

“You know…” I slurred as a low-buzzing noise filled the air, “I really should be a little upset right now… but I just… I just don’t caaare… unf.” Laying across Celestia’s large bed, I rested with my forelegs dangling over the edge. A half-consumed bottle of wine was clutched in one of my hooves, while a plate rested by my other one with a half-eaten piece of cake on it.

My body swayed back and forth as the buzzing suddenly grew louder. “Gawd… this is the best I’ve felt in weeeeks…”

From my back, the changeling that was nestled between my shoulder blades continued buzzing its wings quickly, causing its entire body to vibrate. The sensations seeped into my muscles, forcing the tension out and causing them to relax.

It had ambushed me the moment I had re-entered Celestia’s room from the hidden apartment, nearly making me drop the wine and cake I had pilfered. Latching onto my barrel, it had remained there until I had gotten comfortable on the bed.

Then, the buzzing had started.

I barely lasted three minutes before dissolving into a puddle of pure bliss.

As the changeling continued to buzz, I groaned needily as my body went completely limp. The bottle slid from my grasp, luckily landing upright on the floor. I could feel myself drifting off to sleep, a smile on my lips as, for the first time in weeks, I willingly embraced the darkness.

My eyes shut and a happy sigh escaped me.

Above, the changeling continued to buzz. Its eyes glowed beneath its closed lids, and its belly swelled ever so slightly. A smile crossed its muzzle as well, and for a moment, it looked almost regal.

Author's Note

Sorry for the long delay. Life sucks, weather sucks, health sucks—but I'm back. For now. Let's roll.