Chapters A distant rumbling echoes throughout the sunken corridors beneath Canterlot Mountain, and small tremors can be felt not long after. Regardless, it doesn’t slow either you or your rainbow-maned companion down as you hurry along, following the anxious canter of the guard captain leading the way.
Despite the rush, you can hear snippets conversations between ponies in the corridor as you pass by, each one serving to underscore how dire the situation really is.
“We’ve lost contact with the 104th.”
That last one gives you pause, and your stride slows, but the two guards at the rear of your escort continue to usher you forward. After a few more twists and turns, you reach the entrance to a large room, the ponies guarding it offering a salute to their compatriots before opening the ornate doors to let you pass.
“Princess, they’ve arrived,” the captain announces.
Princess Celestia, looking more haggard than perhaps you’ve ever seen her, lifts her head from the many open tomes and maps covering the room’s large strategy table and offers you a weak smile.
“Anonymous, Rainbow Dash. Thank you for coming all this way.”
Two purple ears perk up at the sound of your name, and Twilight Sparkle spins around, accidentally dropping several of the scrolls she was studying from the stack in the far corner of the room.
“Oh! Hey guys, you made it!”
Rainbow grins, puffing her chest with pride. “Was there ever any doubt?”
“Yeah, plenty. I’m shocked we actually got out of there alive,” you groan.
“Your journey was no doubt a harrowing one, but there’ll be time to discuss it later,” Celestia says, motioning for you to sit at the table. “The reason I called you here is because Twilight seems to think that the two of you may be able to shed some light on what happened to prompt… well, all of this. I feel that if we can somehow discern the origin of this crisis, it may help to lead to us to a solution.”
She locks her tired eyes with yours, and you can feel a chill run down your spine as you recognize the deep resolve shining within them.
“So, tell us, Anonymous… why would Fluttershy be seeking to force open a bridge between dimensions?”
You gulp and search your memories. Sure, you interact with the little butterball damn near every day. Sure, she’s constantly trying to hit on you and get in your pants by trying to guess your secret fetish in a variety of bizarre and silly ways. Sure, sometimes she goes too far, like that time she drugged your coffee, pancakes, syrup, the salt and pepper shakers on the table, napkins, and ultimately herself because she couldn’t keep track of all the shit she roofied and chloroformed when you actually agreed to have breakfast with her that one time…
But why would she do something like this? And why would Twilight and Celestia think you’d know anything about it, anyway? Hell, you haven’t even seen Flutters for like a month and a half! Not since that time you…
“Oh shit.”
“What?” Celestia perks up. “Do you remember something?”
“Yeah, I remember it alright. I could never forget that sunset. The sky was on fire. Long lines of spotted pink clouds crossed over the horizon, and the sun was blood red… kind of like a string of herpes on the ass of a Taiwanese hooker. I was heading home from one of my daily Bro-out sessions with Rainbro—”
“Heck yeah!” Dash exclaims. You pause to share an enthusiastic hi-hoof with your best bro, which she eagerly returns.
“And that’s when I saw it: a large, gift-wrapped box in the middle of the road sporting a tag with my name on it. Yeah, my Flutter-senses were tingling, sorta like your crotch does after a trip through the bad side of town. Yet I—"
“Um,” Twilight mumbles, “This narration is really… unique. I didn’t know you had it in you, Anon! But we’re short on time, so can you get to the part where—”
“Hey, who’s telling the story, Purple Nurple, you or me? Shut up, I’m getting to it!”
She grumbles and crosses her forelegs.
“So I opened the box, and inside was a passed-out Fluttershy. Probably ‘cause she forgot to cut any air holes in the damn thing. Anyway, she came to after a few minutes and asked if ‘unexpected presents wrapped up all for me ’ were my fetish. It was… it was one of her tamer attempts, for sure. I was sort of worried about her, y’know, ‘cause she almost suffocated herself for this one, and in a moment of weakness I… guess I said something I shouldn’t have.”
“And what exactly did you say?” Celestia asks, her piercing gaze never leaving you.
“No, it’s not my fetish,” you groan, resisting the urge to facepalm. “What the hell kind of fetish is that supposed to be, anyway?”
“Oh, um, well…” Fluttershy mumbles, wiggling in the box uncomfortably.
You peer over the side and for the first time notice that she’s used a bunch of wrapping paper ribbon to tie herself up in that good old familiar horse-bondage fashion. Of course. You reach out and pull on one of the exposed ends of the ribbon, and they all fall away at once, allowing her to stand.
“Look, Fluttershy, I get that you’re trying really hard here, but there’s something you should know. I… I didn’t want to tell you this, but it doesn’t matter what fetish you try, it’ll never work on me. I’m sorry, but you’re wasting your time.”
Her eyes start to water and her lips tremble, and before you know it, she’s leapt from the box to embrace you in a death hug, crying all the while.
“Oh! Oh, Anon! Does… does your winky not work? Don’t worry, sweetie, there are herbs for that… we… we can do something about it, I’m sure!”
“No, goddamn it! My dick works fine!” you yell, prying her from you.
“W-Well, then what’s the matter?”
You sigh. “Look. You know how I was pulled into this world through a portal, right? Well, the thing is… how do I put this… not all of me came through to this side.”
She attempts to embrace you again, but a quick hand on her forehead stops her forward momentum.
“Oh sweetie, was your penis left behind on Earth? Oh no… but it’s okay, you can wear a strap-on and we can pretend!”
“Shut up about my dick, okay? It’s still there! You’ve seen it multiple times!”
She tilts her head up in thought. “Oh, that’s right. How silly of me. But… but maybe you should show me again just to be sure?”
“No! Fuck, just listen for a second… what I lost back on Earth was my libido. For some reason, ever since I got here, I haven’t been attracted to anything! That’s why none of your guesses’ll work… even if you happened to figure out my fetish, which is NOT gonna happen by the way, it wouldn’t have any effect. Like I said, you’re wasting your time.”
Her ears fold back. “But… but that can’t be true! Are you really saying th-that this does n-nothing for you, big boy?”
She spins around and shakes her rump at you, swishing her tail to give you a glimpse of the goods, but you merely turn away at the sight.
“Remember that time you loaded a sandwich up with enough Pony-viagra to cause my heart to explode and it did nothing? That should be proof enough, right?”
She turns back around, her eyes wide. “Oh.”
“As long as my libido’s trapped back in my world, none of this is ever going to work. I know it’s cliché but… it’s not you, it’s me. I’m sorry. But hey, it’s not so bad! I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone else you can be interested in harassing if you try!”
She doesn’t reply and instead turns away to start a dejected trot back to her cottage. You didn’t see or hear from her again after that day. At least, not until…
“So, your libido didn’t come with you through the portal? That’s fascinating!” Twilight exclaims, already taking notes on the multiple scrolls hovering around her.
“No, dumbass, it was all bullshit! I just made up that story so she’d leave me alone!”
“But… but if it was a lie, then how were you able to resist the effects of all those aphrodisiac herbs like you said earlier?” Twilight asks.
“Oh.” You gesture toward Rainbow. “That’s because I’ve been railing Dash like three times a day, every day since I got here. By the time I ate that sandwich I was totally tapped out.”
“Yeah! It’s part of our workout!” the pegasus adds. “Y’know, a little cooldown rut after hitting the gym hard with your bro! It’s totally normal! Oh, and sometimes we like to prank each other too. Like, he’ll put his stinky gym socks in my locker, and then to get him back I’ll suck his dick when he’s waking up in the morning and totally make sure to swallow afterwards. You should see the look on his face when that happens, it’s so worth it, ha ha!”
She flies over and playfully punches you in the shoulder, while Twilight’s face flushes and she turns away to process this new revelation.
“I see,” Celestia sighs. “That certainly explains much. But I can’t help but think this all could’ve been avoided had you two been honest and up-front about your relationship to Fluttershy.”
“R-Relationship? Between bros?” And now it’s Rainbow’s turn to blush even harder than Twilight. “C-C’mon, Princess, that’s gay. Don’t be gay.”
Celestia blinks. “I… don’t think you have a complete grasp of the definition of that word, but all right.” She turns to you. “So, if the two of you aren’t in a relationship, then why reject Fluttershy so vehemently? I believe I read a Friendship Report at one point that mentioned she had a brief stint as a model… surely she can’t be that unattractive to you?”
“Hey! I have standards!” you protest.
Celestia looks to you, then to Rainbow, then to you again. “Given what we’ve just discussed, I’m not sure I believe that.”
You roll your eyes. “Whatever. Yeah, Fluttershy’s supposedly hot for a pony, but what those magazines don’t tell you is that she constantly smells like animal urine, eggplants, and desperation. That and she’s batshit fucking crazy. It’s kind of a turn-off.” You cross your arms and flash the alicorn an icy stare. “Don’t tell me you’re going to try to blame me for all of this.”
“Not for all of it,” Celestia counters, “but it was your deception that set her on this path. You must at least recognize that much.”
“Bullshit! How could I have known that she’d actually attempt to tear open a portal between dimensions just so she could get an injection of HMD?! And even if she did try it, she’s not even a unicorn, so what could be the worst that could possibly happen? I mean, COME ON!”
More distant rumbling, followed by a series of tremors, shake the very foundation of the mountain itself, causing the lights to flicker and small pieces of debris to fall from the ceiling. A pall of silence hangs over the room for several minutes, only broken when one of the guards coughs.
“Okay, okay, fine, maybe I should’ve known,” you grumble.
“Princess, you can’t place all the blame on Anon,” Twilight says, placing a comforting hoof on your leg. “While it’s true that it was certain Fluttershy would try to do something , nopony could’ve predicted the lengths she’d go to in order to wrest his libido from across the veil of reality. I mean, if you think about it, it’s astounding!”
She starts to pace back and forth, lifting several tomes in the air with her magic.
“Who could’ve ever predicted that she’d travel beyond the badlands, descending through the earth by way of a Changeling hive of all places, in order to access the forgotten foundations of the world and the treasures housed within, including the elusive ChronoSphere, the most powerful time-travel relic known to ponykind?! And then, after acquiring such a relic, who would’ve thought that she’d travel to the gates of Tartarus itself, performing unspeakable atrocities along the way in order to gather enough negative Soul Energy to release the seven grand bindings of Shub-Neighgurath, the One of Many Mouths from Beyond the Stars, and then, using the power of the ChronoSphere, cast both herself and Shub-Neighgurath into a place of un-time, whereupon over countless eons she could ultimately gain dominance over the cosmic entity, and use its power to rend a tear through the planes of reality upon her return. I mean… wait a minute…”
“What? What’s the matter?” Celestia asks, casting a worried glance toward her student.
Twilight blushes and slinks back in response, several beads of sweat forming on her brow. “Oh… it’s… uh… I was just thinking about how similar this sounds to the villain’s plan in a novel I’ve been writing. The, uh, the manuscript of which I’d asked Fluttershy to proofread for me a few months ago. Did you know that she’s a very prolific writer herself?”
The alicorn’s gaze hardens. “Twilight Sparkle… do you mean to tell me that you gave her what was essentially a step-by-step guide as to how to go about all of this?”
“W-Well,” Twilight gulps. “You see, a big pet peeve of mine when it comes to stories is when the plot isn’t thaumatologically accurate. It takes me right out of the action! I… I figured if I stuck to what was possible, and even provided some tables, maps, and example incantations, it would help… immerse… the reader?”
“Ah, I see,” Celestia mumbles, staring off into the distance. “Please excuse me for a moment.” And with that, she trots over to the corner of the room and begins repeatedly banging her head against the wall.
“Whoa, Fluttershy did all that ?!” Dash exclaims in disbelief, turning to you. “Dang, Anon, she really wants to get her hooves on your salty sausage!”
“Yeah, tell me about it. But what am I supposed to do? According to Autismo here, she’s apparently enslaved a dark god or something to do her bidding. I think at this point I’ve got no choice…”
Rainbow stomps a hoof, then confidently takes to the air.
“No way, dude! Don’t give up! As your best bro, I always get first dibs, and she can’t get a piece of you unless I say so!”
“Is… that how this works?”
She blushes a bit, twirling in the air in an attempt to hide it. “Y-Yeah! Didn’t I ever tell you? Bros always have dibsies on each other! A-And sometimes they kiss, too. Like, all the time! I can’t remember if I told you that or not yet.”
“I don’t think you did, but I’ll keep it in mind.”
You think you hear a squee from her, but it’s muffled by the sound of a unicorn scout teleporting into the room. He takes a moment to survey the scene, then trots over to Celestia, gently tapping one of her legs to catch her attention.
“Your Highness, I apologize for interrupting your therapy session, but I’m here to report that we’ve successfully pinpointed the epicenter of the cataclysm.”
Celestia removes her head from the massive indentation she’s made in the stone wall. “Is that so? Where is it?”
He salutes. “It’s difficult to describe considering the current state of the world, but it appears to be in what was the area just southeast Fillydelphia.”
Celestia nods resolutely. “Thank you. Well done; you are relieved. Go to your family and spend some time with them before the end.” She turns to address the other guards in the room. “The same goes for all of you. You are all dismissed and free to do as you please.”
With a solemn nod of understanding, they exit, leaving the four of you behind.
“W-What are you going to do, Princess?” Twilight hesitantly asks.
“It’s not what I’m going to do, it’s what we will be doing,” she replies, the gravity of her words palpable. “I’ll be teleporting all of us to the epicenter. Once we arrive, you must act exactly as I’m about to tell you, is that understood?”
All of you nod in assent, and Celestia turns her focus to you.
“As soon as we get there, I’ll likely find myself pulled into a battle against Shub-Neighgurath’s manifestation. While that’s happening, Anonymous should capture Fluttershy’s attention. This should be simple given that you are her ultimate objective in all of this.”
Seems easy enough. She’ll no doubt be all over you as the second she sees you.
“Twilight Sparkle, your job is to locate the ChronoSphere, as it will be the key to resolving this matter. Use your magic to separate it from Fluttershy while both she and the dark god are distracted. Once that is done, Rainbow Dash will recover the ChronoSphere and deliver it to me, whereupon I’ll use its power to reverse the flow of time to a point well before any this madness ever happened.”
“So… there’s actually a way to fix all this shit?” you ask, a hint of hope in your voice. “That’s great! No wonder you seemed so calm; you must’ve had it all figured out from the start, huh?”
“That’s Princess Celestia for you!” Twilight cheers.
“I wouldn’t celebrate just yet,” Celestia continues. “Our success in this is not guaranteed and using the ChronoSphere is not an exact science. Pinpointing a specific destination in time when using it is difficult, and I’ll likely end up landing years before any of you were even born.” She paces for a bit, then adopts an oddly contemplative expression. “Though, considering the circumstances, that may end up being a net benefit for the world as a whole…”
Great. So no matter how things go you’re pretty much boned. Seems to be par for the course in magical horse land.
“Are you all ready?” Celestia asks. The three of you look to one another and then nod. “Very well. Let’s go pay a visit to Fluttershy, shall we?”
Her horn glows with a golden light, and four of you vanish in a flourish of magic.
You stumble forward as the flash of magic fades, trying to find your footing on the new patch of ground you’re standing upon. You hear gasps of surprise from both Rainbow and Twilight, and as your vision readjusts it becomes easy to see why.
A scene of pure chaos unfolds before your eyes. The earth itself is fractured, with huge, jagged columns and deep depressions that scar the landscape. The edges of the horizon seem to tilt upwards instead of tapering down, and it’s difficult to make the distinction between land and sky. The city that was once Fillydelphia is a mangled mass of twisted buildings that melt into one another as they claw their way in unnatural directions. In the distance, an aircraft carrier lies nestled between two mountain peaks, and the fighters that were once upon its flight deck lie scattered and burning across the mountain face. Nearby, a vast quantity of water from seemingly nowhere spills forth into an endless chasm. Screaming echoes on the wind and smoke rises into the air, which in the place of a sun holds a swirling mass of darkness and light that you could only describe as a miniature black hole, which continually pulls in and consumes debris from the ruined city and the surrounding environment.
You tilt your head up as far as you can, and to your shock you see a mirror of the landscape repeated above you… yet the architecture of the buildings looks far more familiar to you than anything you’ve seen in magical horse land so far…
“It’s… it’s Philadelphia. No way.”
“Uh, don’t you mean Fillydelphia?” Rainbow asks.
“No. That’s one of Earth’s cities up there. There’s no doubt about it.”
“It’s as I feared. She’s not merely opening a portal… the two dimensions are merging,” Celestia states grimly. “And if this continues, it will certainly spell the end of all life in both our worlds.”
Twilight’s ears fold back with worry. “W-What do you mean, Princess?”
The alicorn raises a wing and sweeps it in an arc, prompting you to follow it with your eyes and take in more of the surroundings.
“It’s as you can see. The two planes of reality are folding in upon one another, pulling closer and closer together. This will continue until both dimensions are compressed down into a single, infinitely dense point of matter and energy. Though, on the bright side, I suppose we’ll all be long dead before it reaches that stage. I’m sure this is partly the will of our friend Shub-Neighgurath, as it’s always shared, along with the ancient death cult that summoned it, a penchant for the total annihilation of all living things. Hence why Luna and I imprisoned it in Tartarus all those ages ago.”
“Oh,” Twilight mumbles, for once at a loss for words.
And you can’t blame her for that one bit. You knew things were bad based on what you saw on the trip to the underground Canterlot bunker with Rainbow, but holy fuck this is so much worse than you could’ve imagined! You honestly don’t know what to do or how to feel about it.
But while you, Twilight, and Celestia are all somewhat paralyzed by the weight of events around you, Rainbow doesn’t seem to care much at all, as her attention is squarely focused elsewhere.
“So that’s your world up there, Anon? It looks AWESOME! I wanna go check it out!”
She circles you in the air like an excited puppy, and like always, you find you can’t remain gloomy in the face of her enthusiasm.
However, Princess Buzzkill is quick to capture the excited pegasus in her golden aura, pulling her back to the ground before she can get too far.
“You mustn’t, Rainbow Dash! If you approach too close to the planar intersection, you’ll be captured and consumed by the gravity of the magical well that’s pulling the two dimensions together. Whatever else you do here, you must always remember to keep your flying low to the ground, is that understood?”
The pouty pegasus flops back on her haunches and crosses her hooves. “Yeah, yeah, stay low, I get it.”
You glance up again look at the magical well she’s talking about. The black sphere staining the air is ringed by shifting orange light, steadily being fed by a constant stream of debris pulled from both Equestria below and Earth above…
And though you didn’t notice it earlier due to how much else has been going on, there’s one more pony here, her gaze also directed at the entrancing phenomenon. She stands upon a gigantic, sickly mound of undulating flesh, eyeballs, and mouths which seems to ooze forth from one of the many nearby chasms. A thin, nerve-like protrusion with yet another mouth on the end of it rises from the mass and emits a guttural screech in some long-dead tongue, which causes two yellow ears to perk up and a long pink tail to swish back and forth with excitement.
“Oh! Do we have guests? I-Is my stud muffin here to see me?”
The pony turns around, and sure enough, Fluttershy is there, beaming at you with her familiar bright smile.
“Look, Anon! The portal is opening! D-Do you feel any different yet? Are you imagining running your strong, thick monkey paws all over my soft, vulnerable flutter-flanks, secure in the knowledge that you could do ANYTHING you wanted to me, and there’d be nothing I could do to stop it, because I’m just a weak, helpless little pony at the mercy of a big, savage pre-preda-a— OH! Oh my…”
She bites her lip, her eyelids flutter, and there’s a sudden squelching sound. Yeah, you’re pretty sure that one didn’t come from the flesh blob. In fact, the blob screeches in protest as some unknown liquid suddenly drips from underneath her flagging tail into one of its many open mouths.
“Oh, sorry about that Shubby-chan, I guess I got a little carried away for a moment there!” She scuffs a hoof and blushes, clamping her tail back down securely against her rear.
“Shubby-chan?” Celestia murmurs in disbelief.
“She… she really tamed it!” Twilight cries, bouncing up and down with excitement. “This is amazing! Think of all the things we could learn about these extra-dimensional entities by having a cooperative one on hoof!” She turns to Fluttershy. “So, I’m curious, how many eons within the timeless void did it take for you to ultimately bring it under your control? If you weren’t keeping an accurate count, rounding down to the nearest millennia or so should be fine; any estimate would be helpful!”
Fluttershy looks confused. “T-Timeless void? I’m sorry… I don’t really know what you’re talking about. I didn’t ‘tame’ Shubby-chan at all! We became friends when I visited her in Tartarus!”
The flesh blob gurgles, then extends one of its protrusions, which Fluttershy fearlessly nuzzles her cheek against in a show of affection.
“Who’s a good eldritch horror? It’s you! Yes, you are!” she coos before turning back to the rest of you. “See? Any creature can be a friend if you show them a little kindness.”
Twilight’s jaw drops at the sight. “Wait. So you’re telling us you didn’t use the ChronoSphere to bring Shub-Neighgurath under your control?”
“Oh, you mean this thingy?” Fluttershy asks, pulling out a small, glowing metallic sphere from somewhere behind her. “Well, I tried to follow the directions from your book, but it turns out I’m just no good with magic stuff like you are, Twilight. I-I really tried my best, though. Thankfully, Shubby-chan agreed to help me anyway when I told her what I was trying to do!”
The mass of flesh gurgles in agreement.
“Oh! By the way, Anon, are eldritch horrors your feti—”
“NO. ”
Her ears droop, and even the entire flesh mound underneath her seems to sag dejectedly. “Oh. Well, darn. I thought I was really on to something this time, too. Sorry, Shubby-chan.”
Celestia steps forward. “Fluttershy, while I admire your commitment to spreading friendship and harmony, I’m afraid they cannot apply to creatures such as this which subsist on the suffering of what they consider lesser beings. I’m sorry, but you have no friend in Shub-Neighgurath. My best guess is that it merely tolerates you because it finds you to be an amusing diversion to toy with as it fulfills its ultimate desire to wipe out all life on any plane of existence it happens to shunt a shard of its malevolent essence to.”
Her horn ignites with magic, and she flashes the eldritch horror a subtle smile.
“If you wish to remain safe, I’d suggest moving away from it now.”
“P-Princess!” Fluttershy gasps, clutching one of the mound’s protrusions. “How could you be so mean? She told me herself… she only wants to be our friend!”
“Fluttershy, look around you!” Twilight cries. “Th-the whole world is bucked up now! If it was just opening a portal like you said, it wouldn’t involve all this destruction!”
“B-But she said this was the only way to get Anon’s libido back, and that she’d fix everything later with the Time-thingy!”
Celestia stomps a hoof. “Absolutely not! A creature such as this must not be trusted with an artifact of such power.” She locks eyes with the little pony and her expression softens. “Fluttershy, please, allow me to have it. It’s still not too late— I can banish that abomination and return everything to normal with the help of the ChronoSphere, and this dire mistake will be made to have never happened.”
“Yeah, you should trust the Princess!” Dash adds. “Besides, it’s not like Anon needs his albedo back or whatever, anyway. Trust me, his mojo’s all there! I make sure of it every day!”
Fluttershy’s eye twitches. “E-Excuse me?”
Oh boy, now she’s done it. You were hoping to avoid having to do this, but maybe it’d be better to come clean now before Banana Hush gets too pissed to listen to reason.
“Dash is telling the truth. Look, I lied to you a while back, Flutters. There’s nothing wrong with my libido, it’s just that I fuck her so often my balls are usually shriveled up pouches of dust most of the time. Do you really think I drink all that Pony-ade and constantly eat all that asparagus because I like it?”
The little butter yellow pegasus starts to tremble.
“S-S-So then your fetish is…”
You scratch the back of your head. “Yeah… turns out my fetish is cumming inside Rainbow Dash. At this point I’m pretty sure her body chemistry consists of like 75% human cum now.”
Dash nods sagely, seeming to agree with your last statement.
“A-And… and I went through all that… all that stuff for the past month and a half… for nothing?”
“Um… yeah, I guess so. Sorry about that?”
Fluttershy closes her eyes and adopts a relaxed pose, as if she’s about to fall into a zen state. At first you hold a sliver of hope that things might calm down… but then, she gradually inhales a huge amount of air, points her head to the heavens, and…
“RRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!”
…totally loses it.
All of you cower and cover your ears. Even the flesh blob beneath her shuts its many eyes and visibly cringes at the outburst. When it finally stops, the pony before you has undergone a dramatic change. Her mane and tail are disheveled, she grinds her teeth in anger, and her eyes belie a smoldering rage barely held in check by what little she can salvage of her composure. She looks to each of you in turn for several moments, only deciding to speak when she’s brought her breathing under control again.
“Okay, you know what?! No. No good meanie liar LIARS like you guys don’t GET to have ancient magical time artifacts! I think I’ll just keep this for myself, thank you.”
None of you dare say a word in response.
“Do you guys have any idea what I had to go through to get this thing? What horrible things I had to do in order to free Shubby-chan?! Well guess what, you’re about to find out! Watch closely, Anon! I may not be able to be ‘hip’ and ‘with it’ and ‘capable of forming healthy relationships with peers of the opposite sex’ like Rainbow Dash, but I’ll show you I can be an exciting bad, bad girl just the same!”
She produces a small carton of milk from out of nowhere, opens it, and takes a few big gulps before casually tossing the spent carton on the ground beside her.
“Ha! How do you like that?!” she boasts. “Drinking straight from the carton and littering! Where’s the meek and timid good girl Fluttershy now, huh?! I bet you wish you had her back, but TOO. BAD. She’s gone forever! Mwahahahahaha—!”
While Fluttershy falls into a bout of maniacal laughter, you take the opportunity to ask Celestia, “Hey, was all she had to do to free that blob stuff like that? ‘Cause if that’s the kind of security you have down in Tartarus, I’m moving the hell out of town the second this is over.”
“No, little things like littering and poor hygiene wouldn’t make a difference,” she replies. “The soul wards are weakened when they come into contact with an individual possessing a soul burdened with a great many misdeeds. I have no doubt that the accumulated weight of her usual daily activities involving you were more than enough to break them.”
“Ah. All the rape attempts.”
“Indeed.”
“Look at this, Anon!” the crazy yellow pegasus shouts, drawing your attention to her chest, which is slightly puffier now for some reason. “That’s right! This huge tuft can be ALL. YOURS. Heh, I bet you didn’t think I had it in me to be this lewd, huh? M-Maybe I’ll even get you to bury your face in it and hold my hoof while we gently make love to each other in the missionary position! I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you, you naughty, dirty, sexy, hunky monkey?!”
“Woohoo! You tell ‘em, Fluttershy!” Dash cheers.
“Rainbow Dash! Don’t encourage her!” Twilight whines, though her pleas are ignored as Dash whistles a cat call, prompting another suggestive tirade from the yellow pony.
The alicorn by your side chuckles at the scene. “You know, Twilight was right earlier. Our Element of Kindness truly is an astounding pony. To think, all the villains Equestria has faced, all the trials we’ve overcome over the centuries… and it’s little Fluttershy that brings our world to its collective knees. It’s almost comical! I’d even be willing to say that this might be destiny at work, but to what end not even I can fathom.”
She turns to you, an exasperated look on her face.
“Anonymous, will you promise me something? Next time… if there is a next time… will you please just rut her and save us all the trouble? Can you do that for me?”
You shrug. “Eh… sorry, Sunny D. I’ve got standards, remember?”
She laughs again. “Of course. It’s funny how sometimes even imaginary obstacles are the most troublesome.”
And with that, she steps away from you and flares her wings, drawing the attention of all present with a commanding voice.
“As much as I’d like to watch these antics for a while longer, I believe time is of the essence. Are you three ready?”
You, Twilight, and Rainbow exchange a glance with one another, then nod to Celestia.
“Very well,” she says, turning back to you. “Anonymous, do it.”
Looks like it’s go time. Better make whatever you’re going to do count, Anon…
So, what would be the best way to capture the attention of a currently ranting and hysterical Flutters? You dig into your memories, recalling the many times over the years you’ve unfortunately spent in one another’s company, to quickly divine the most obvious answer:
“Whoops, my pants fell off!”
Said pants slide to the ground with a thump, and not a second later…
“Oh, sweetie, let me help you with those!”
…Fluttershy abandons her tirade to glomp you at a speed that makes even Dash turn her head. In an instant, she’s grappled onto your legs and placed her snout in a perfect position to take a deep whiff of your boxers.
You sigh. It’s kind of concerning how easy that was, but hey, at least it worked!
Celestia’s horn crackles with power and ignites like a second sun the very instant Fluttershy gets a safe distance from the putrid flesh mound she’d been standing upon. Great spears of light crash down from the sky and impale the monster, which releases an otherworldly shriek of pain from its many mouths as it tries to retreat back into the crevice it crawled out of. The spears rain down without end, pinning it in place as the alicorn continues her relentless attack.
But as much as you’d like to watch the spectacular light show unfolding before you, a nuzzling nose at your crotch demands your attention. Fluttershy’s innocent cyan eyes capture your own, and a slight rose tinge appears on her cheeks. If there’s one positive thing you can say about the little butterball, it’s that she sure knows how to look cute…
“So, um… I know humans wear a lot of clothes because they don’t have much fur and otherwise they’d be cold. Since your pants aren’t working, I was thinking that… maybe I could help keep your penis warm? With my mouthpussy, I mean.”
…At least until she starts talking.
“Your what ?” you ask, despite not wanting to know the answer.
Her ears fold back. “Oh… did that sound weird? I’m sorry. It was a line I read in Twilight’s manuscript that I wanted to try out, but now that I’ve heard it out loud… oh my, it sure sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? I’m a little embarrassed, actually. Just forget I said anything.”
You find yourself chuckling at her antics. “You? Embarrassed about hitting on me? I’ve gotta say, this is a first.”
She giggles as well. “I know, right? Talk about a really corny line; I’ll have to help her with some editing later. Oh, and I’m going to put your cock in my mouth now, if that’s okay with you.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake…”
“Actually, Fluttershy, I think if you examine the usage of the term within the context of the overall passage, it really comes across as tastefully erotic!” Twilight interjects, somehow tearing herself away from ogling her Teacher’s magical fireworks to defend her magnum opus.
“Twilight Sparkle! Focus on your task!” Celestia cries, her voice barely audible above Shub-Neighgurath’s renewed shrieking. Sensing what’s coming, the alicorn abandons her attack, instead raising a large semi-circular barrier to protect all of you from the tsunami of dark magic that the eldritch horror begins to spew from its many mouths.
“Oh! R-Right, sorry Princess!”
Twilight scrambles away from you, her horn alight, using her magic to search beyond Celestia’s barrier and the torrent of dark magic crashing against it for the ChronoSphere that Fluttershy so carelessly discarded during her mad rush to get her hooves on your man-meat.
“Found it!” she exclaims, her ruby aura safely enshrouding the precious item and pulling it toward the barrier. “W-Wait, what?”
The ChronoSphere mysteriously stops in mid-air, still several feet away from safety. At first you can’t tell why, but a slight shifting of the dark tide reveals one of the flesh mass’ protrusions has captured it and is fighting Twilight for control.
“You have to overpower it yourself!” Celestia yells. “I can’t risk dropping the barrier and Rainbow Dash won’t be able to retrieve it with all of that miasma around! Do whatever it takes!”
“Okay, got it!” she replies, pouring as much magic as she can into the struggle.
Meanwhile, you find yourself dealing with a different, yet familiar problem in the form of a wandering hoof and some experimental licks staining the fabric of your underwear. As much as you’d like to dislodge your little stalker, it’s easier said than done. Her line about being weak and helpless earlier was total bullshit – she could probably snap a bear’s spine in half if she wanted.
“Yo, Dash, a little help here?”
You call out to your best bro, who seems to have been somewhat spaced out ever since Fluttershy latched on to you. She shakes her head a few times when she hears your voice, then glides over and touches down nearby.
“Hey Fluttershy, you got a sec?” she asks.
The yellow pegasus retracts her tongue before it can snake its way through your boxers’ quick access piss flap. “Oh, of course, Rainbow Dash. What’s the matter?”
Dash grimaces and scuffs a hoof. “I, uh… ugh … darn it, I’m so bad at stuff like this! Look, we need to talk. And I need to apologize.”
Both you and Fluttershy flash her a confused look.
“You were always my best Sis, even way back in flight school, and even if we didn’t hang out as much as we should have. So when I saw how you looked at Anon when you first met him, I knew you had a crush. Yeah, even I could tell! Crazy, right?”
To this day, you refuse to believe that there’s a single living creature on this planet that doesn’t know about Flutters’ ‘crush’ considering all the shit she constantly pulls. The main problem is that they all think it’s cute instead of a daily rapetastic gauntlet you have to somehow survive.
“I thought I could give you a hoof,” she continues. “You know, grease his skids a little… get the blood pumpin’! I figured if he had a little Q.T. with The Dash, he’d figure out how AWESOME mares could be, and then maybe you could put the moves on him yourself and finally get some action!”
Wait, what?
“But then…” Her ears fold back and she looks away. “Then I got greedy. I tried to keep things as Bros so I wouldn’t get too attached, but… that’s not what happened. I kept telling myself that tomorrow would be the day I’d nudge him your way, but I kept wimping out at the last second! I… I guess what I’m trying to say is—”
“Rainbow Dash!”
A desperate cry from Twilight cuts Dash’s odd confession off. It looks like the tug-of-war between her and the flesh blob has resulted in both of them losing possession of the ChronoSphere, as the relic has been flung high into the air and well above the flow of the surrounding miasma.
“Looks like I’m up! Hold on, I’ll be back in ten seconds flat!” the plucky pegasus declares.
And with that, she rockets into the air, leaving a rainbow trail in her wake.
You and Fluttershy stare at one another after she leaves, both of you trying to process what exactly you just learned.
“Did… you know about this?” you ask her.
“No, I had no idea,” she replies. “I didn’t even know you two were rutting. Though now that I think about it, you did spend a lot time together, and your crotch did sometimes sort of smell like marecum and semen during my morning fetish guesses, but… I mean, wow. I don’t even know what to say when she gets back.”
“Yeah, me neither.”
A rare, awkward silence falls over the two of you after that, and you both find yourselves focusing your attention on Rainbow as you try to ignore it.
Said pegasus easily rises high into the air to capture the lost ChronoSphere as if it were just another routine stunt performance for her to ace. She proudly twirls in the air to celebrate the catch, adding a few hoof pumps for good measure.
“Awwww yeah! Sometimes I make this look too eas— what the?!”
But her joy is short-lived, as her attempt to fly back toward the four of you is suddenly slowed to a crawl. She flaps her wings as hard as she can, pouring on more and more speed, but only manages to move a few feet forward before being pulled even further back.
“Uh… guys?! A little help!”
Celestia curses under her breath when she realizes what’s going on, still focusing all her magic into maintaining her barrier. “She’s caught in the gravity well! Twilight, you must pull her out! And failing that, you must— aaaah!”
She recoils in pain as a slight amount of the dark miasma slips through a weak point in the shield, burning one of her shoulders.
“Hold on, Rainbow!” Twilight exclaims, using her magic to try and pull her friend free from the black hole’s influence. Through great effort, she’s able to stabilize Dash’s place in the air, though pulling her closer still seems out of the question. She stomps a hoof in frustration, trying several different spells to move her to little effect.
“I… I can’t get a good hold on her at all! It’s like… it’s like her entire molecular structure is… oddly gooey for some reason? What the hay?!”
‘Gooey’? Why would she be… oh. Oh shit. Hopefully that’s not your fault or anything…
“R-Rainbow Dash!”
To your complete surprise, Fluttershy releases you and attempts to fly up to help her friend regardless of the consequences. More surprising still is the fact that your reflexes spur you to reach out and capture her tail before she can get too far.
“Stop, Flutters! Remember what Sun Horse said? You fly too high and the same thing’s gonna happen to you!”
“B-But we can’t just leave her!” she cries.
“Hey! Anon, Fluttershy, listen up!”
All eyes turn toward the sound of Rainbow’s voice, which still radiates unshakable confidence despite the situation she’s in.
“’Shy… just wanted to say sorry again. I know I messed up. But hey, I’ve got him primed for you! There’s no way he doesn’t like ponies— I made sure of it! All you’ve gotta do is rock his world a few times, and he won’t be able to keep his hands off your flanks! I know you can do it!”
The trembling yellow pegasus, with tears running down her face, can do nothing but nod her head.
“And Anon! From one Bro to another… trust me, she’s cool. Sure, she’s kinda weird sometimes, but she’s cool. Look out for her, okay? And don’t you dare bucking break her heart, or I WILL find you later!”
She strikes a dynamic pose, at the same time abandoning her effort to escape the magical well. And as she’s inevitably pulled in, she declares:
“See ya, guys! I’ll catch you all on the flip side!”
And an instant later, she’s gone, along with the ChronoSphere she was holding.
You place your hand over your heart, and a single tear rolls down your cheek.
“Later, Bro. If I have one regret, it would be that no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be as rad as you.”
“Rainbow Daaaaaash~~~~!” Fluttershy wails, bursting into a firehose sized torrent of tears that you have to awkwardly sidestep to avoid soaking your dropped pants.
Twilight herself is speechless, staring unblinkingly at the point where Rainbow vanished.
An otherworldly shriek temporarily breaks the three of you out of your mourning, and you look over to see that the flesh blob Celestia’s been fighting has deflated and collapsed back into its crevice. The alicorn herself trots triumphantly over to where you’re gathered, sporting several minor injuries but seemingly no worse for wear.
“Whew! I was finally able to subdue it,” she sighs. “How did things go on this end? Were you able to recover Rainbow Dash from the well?”
“P-P-Princess…” Twilight sniffles. “Rainbow, she… she got pulled in! I couldn’t save her!”
“Hmmm, that’s unfortunate,” Celestia replies almost too casually. “But I trust at least the ChronoSphere is safe?”
“No, it got pulled in with her! I was so focused on getting her back that I—” The purple pony shakes her head, trying to regain her composure. “No, this isn’t the time to be worrying about that! Princess, we have to get Rainbow Dash back! There… there must be something you can do!”
Celestia frowns, capturing her student with a dire stare. “Twilight Sparkle… are you certain that the ChronoSphere was lost to the dimensional well?”
The little pony hesitantly nods.
“I see. Then there’s only one thing left to do.”
Celestia’s horn shines again, and you can actually feel the magic gathering in the air around you. A great swell of light encompasses her entire body and you’re forced to avert your eyes. It takes your brain a few seconds to start working again once your vision finally clears, as what you now see before you completely defies your ability to make sense of it.
Celestia stands there proudly, sporting a bright Hawaiian shirt and a pair of trendy sunglasses, with a lit cigar in her mouth and a margarita, complete with little paper umbrella, floating in in the air beside her.
Twilight’s jaw drops at the sight. “Um, P-Princess…?”
Celestia turns and lowers her glasses slightly. “Hmmm? Oh, did you all want some too?”
“W-Weren’t you going to help Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy squeaks.
The alicorn takes a few gulps of her drink, puffs her cigar a few times, and then tilts her head to look at the swelling mass of darkness floating just above you.
“No, I don’t believe so. Allow me to explain what’s about to happen here. The ChronoSphere was our last hope, and it was swallowed by the well. It’s been rended apart at the atomic level, just as anything else that’s been pulled inside of it would be, and the unimaginable amount of wild, uncontrollable time magic it contained has been freed. In a few moments, time will begin to accelerate to a speed we cannot fathom, and that in turn will accelerate the merging and ultimate destruction of the two worlds.”
The three of you glance at one another, unsure if what’s even happening now is real or not.
“As Anonymous would so succinctly put it, we’re totally boned,” she concludes. “It appears our many-mouthed friend from beyond the stars will get its wish after all.”
“You’re awfully calm about all this,” you finally manage to say.
Celestia smiles. “As an immortal, I’ve had a good amount of time to come to terms with the reality that I would likely live to see the end of this world, and despite all my efforts, be unable to prevent it. Of course, never did I imagine that its end would come in such a spectacularly ridiculous manner, but I’ve made peace with it nonetheless.”
She downs the rest of her drink.
“Yet, I’m sure hearing that does little to assuage you all, so allow me to share something with you that might help.”
There’s a thundering sound from above, and your distant surroundings begin to lose their definition.
“Don’t ask me how I know this, but know that I say with absolute certainty: when one universe dies and fades away, another is always born. While there are no guarantees as to what form we’ll take, or which souls will ultimately meet and enrich one another, I’d like to think that one day, we’ll all be blessed enough to find and know each other again.”
The world itself sunders, and the piece of earth you’re all standing upon rises into the air.
“A safe journey to you, my little ponies. And to you as well, troublesome human.”
You feel yourself being pulled away, and at the last moment Fluttershy jumps into your arms and pulls you into a passionate kiss.
And yeah, maybe just this once, you’ll go with it. It’s the end of the world, and holding on to someone, even if it’s Fluttershy of all ponies, brings you comfort.
As the last piece of reality fades, you could swear you hear an unfamiliar voice whisper from somewhere all around you,
“Thank you for being a friend to me, o depraved one.” “A kindness given should be a kindness returned.” “You have allowed me to have my fun, so now shall you have yours in turn…”
You groan. Everything hurts. You blink your eyes open, but you don’t see anything, so your vision must not be working at the moment, either.
Propping yourself up on your elbows, you raise your torso from the ground, then attempt to stand, only to crash back down again after tripping over your own pants, which still remain firmly entangled around your ankles.
Ouch.
But wait a minute… you can see yourself, so your sight isn’t gone at all. It’s just that your surroundings are totally empty. A great white void encompasses everything around you. There’s not even any indication of where the ground you’re standing on is, aside from the fact that your feet will pass no further than a certain fixed point in the nothingness. It’s extremely disorienting, but at least gravity still seems to work.
“Huh. Never thought heaven would be so… empty.”
A whimper rings out in the silence, and you spin around to see a certain yellow pegasus stirring on the featureless ground a little ways away.
Of course. Of course this isn’t heaven. You knew where you were headed from the start, didn’t you?
“A-Anon?!” Fluttershy squeaks, first leaping to her hooves, then pausing to examine the surroundings, or lack thereof. “Where are we?”
“No idea. But…” you pinch yourself and wince at the resulting pain. “…I dunno, call it a hunch, but I don’t think we’re dead. At least not yet.”
Fluttershy trots up beside you. “I think you’re right. It’s so weird… the last thing I remember, I thought I heard Shubby-chan’s voice. And then I woke up here with you. Do you think the others could be here too?”
You gaze out across the endless expanse of nothing before you.
“I doubt it. And even if they were, what’re the odds we’d even be able to find them? As strange as it is, I really think it’s just us here. Hell if I know why… the last thing I remember, the whole world was crumbling down around us.”
Okay, that’s not entirely true. The last thing you really remember was locking lips with butterhorse and distinctly not hating it. Best not to mention that, though. You take a seat on the formless ground, which is thankfully somewhat soft, and sigh.
“So… I guess it’s all gone, huh? Everything. Everyone.”
The little yellow pony curls up beside you, her tears staining the nothingness below you.
“I… I guess so,” she sniffles. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. A-All I wanted was to get a hot monkey beef injection, that’s all! Is that so much to ask?”
Surprisingly, you can’t help but laugh at the exasperation in her voice.
“Yeah, and you ended up getting the mother of all two-for-one specials. Not just your world, but mine to boot!” You wipe some tears of mirth from your eyes. “But hey… like my dad always used to say, ‘Everyone deserves a mulligan ’. Of course, he only started saying that after he accidentally burned down the children’s ward of that hospital… too bad the judge didn’t see things the same way.”
You reach over and pat her head.
“If it’s any consolation, I think he’d have appreciated being sent, well… maybe not to a better place, but to anywhere other than the state pen. So thanks for that, I guess.”
She looks up at you, a hint of a smile on her face.
“Oh… you’re welcome. I guess… I guess it’s not all bad, is it? I mean, after all, you’re here with me.”
You chuckle again. “Yeah. Y’know, I never figured out why you were so damn obsessed with me. To be honest, I never really cared all that much before, but now that we’re… well, here , I’m curious. Are humans your fetish or something?”
She blushes. “No. At least, I don’t think so. I’d never met a human before I met you.”
“Then why me?”
“Because…” She turns away slightly, attempting to hide behind her mane. “Because I love you, Anon.”
You sigh and shake your head. “Yeah, yeah… I get that. But why do you love me?”
Slowly, she turns back, revealing her cyan eyes and an expression of confused contemplation on her face. Several moments of silence linger before she answers,
“Do… you really need a reason to love somepony?”
Your first instinct is to tell her that of course you do. But thinking back on your life, and of what you’ve learned both on Earth and in Equestria, the true answer becomes clear. You laugh again, massaging your temples with your free hand.
“I suppose you don’t, do you? Love can be really unreasonable sometimes. I guess that’s one of the things that makes it special.”
She gives a little happy nod, then closes her eyes and leans against you. You don’t try to stop it.
“Hey Fluttershy, I’m sorry I lied to you about my libido being gone. Celestia was right… I am partly to blame for all of this. I wanted an easy way out instead of just telling you no like normal. I should’ve known that you’d actually go and do some crazy shit, especially considering how long we’ve known each other.”
She shakes her head. “No, it’s okay, Anon. I… I know I shouldn’t have freed Shubby-chan. Even though she acted nice, I always felt kind of nervous around her for some reason.”
“Fluttershy, it was a gigantic pile of rotting flesh and eyeballs from somewhere beyond space and time that wanted to wipe out all life in the universe. Being nervous around something like that is normal.”
“Really?” she asks innocently.
You simply facepalm in response. This fucking horse…
“Nevermind. Don’t worry about it. What’s done is done; it’s not like we can change it now.”
You flop down on your back, staring up at the non-existent sky. Not long after, you feel a familiar weight on your chest as your yellow admirer climbs on top of you to awkwardly look you in the eyes.
“Um, well… if you’re bored, I can think of some things that we could do. Some fun things. O-Or you could just lay back and take a nap and not worry about anything because I would never, ever do anything to break your trust since we’ve known each other for so long and are such good friends and—”
Yeah, she’s already lightly humping you. But fuck it, it’s not like there’s anything else to do here, so…
“You know what? Fine. My best Bro vouched for you. As long as you promise not to make it weird, I’m game.”
There’s a squee of joy from the little pony that instantly makes you have second thoughts. She stares ahead as if in a trance, drools on your shirt a little, and then starts vibrating.
“A-Anon. Anon, is—”
“Fluttershy. You’re making it weird.”
“Is—”
“Don’t you dare fucking say it!”
“Is being trapped alone with me at the end of time as the l-last two survivors of both our respective universes your fetish?!”
You roll your eyes.
“No.”
“Oh, okay,” she whispers, wiping some of the drool from her chin, then locking you in a stare so intense that it makes your blood freeze. “That’s too bad… because I think it might be mine .”
Oh sweet god almighty, this was definitely a mistake!
But you know as well as anyone that there’s no stopping it now. Just focus on survival, Anon. You can make it through this!
“Come and give Momma some sugar~~~”
Maybe.
A pair of lips descend, and it begins.
You… you don’t know how much time has passed.
That was simultaneously the best and most horrifying sex you’ve had in your life. You lie on the formless ground, totally naked, covered in various fluids, scratches, and bite marks, relishing the afterglow. Fluttershy is curled up against the side of your chest, nuzzling contentedly into your side and occasionally licking leftover sweat from your body.
Wow.
“You know… if we make a lot of foals, it’ll be less lonely here,” she coos between her licking sessions.
“That’s…” you swallow a few times, trying to clear your throat. “Uh, aside from being impossible, that’s totally irresponsible. I hate to ruin the moment, but there’s no telling how long we’re gonna last here without any food and water.”
“Shhh, it’s okay,” she whispers, stealing a kiss. “We don’t need those things here. Love will sustain us…”
Yeah, she’s totally lost it at this point. Although now you have an intimate understanding of why people take the risk to fuck crazy chicks. That was something else.
“OH!”
Fluttershy suddenly jumps up like someone just jabbed a needle into her rump. You watch with confused curiosity as she runs in circles for a few moments, then gathers all your scattered clothes together into some sort of impromptu nest and plops herself down right in the middle of it.
“Uh… what’re you doing?”
“I… I…” she gasps. “Oh! Oh my! I think…”
She starts oddly vibrating again, then begins to hyperventilate. You sit up, preparing to go over and see what’s wrong, when her breathing suddenly calms again and she stands, then stumbles over to your side. Her bizarre behavior is odd enough, but what really gets your jaw dropping is what’s left behind in the pile of clothes.
“YOU LAID AN EGG?! WHAT THE FUCK?!”
She flashes you a radiant smile. “Yes… I did! Look, it’s proof of our love! It’ll be our first foal together!”
“B-B-But Rainbow never said anything about pegasi laying eggs!” you stammer. “How the hell does that even work?!”
Fluttershy tilts her head up in thought. “Well, actually, we don’t normally lay eggs. At least I’ve never heard of it happening before. B-But maybe, when a human daddy and pony mommy love each other very much, and then express that love through a three hour long nonstop buckfest—”
You clamp your hand over her muzzle before she can keep going.
“No. There’s no way I can believe that.”
But as you examine the strange egg closer, there’s no doubt that it came from Fluttershy, as considering what you two were just up to for the last few hours, it’s covered in your combined froth.
You fall to your knees, completely at a loss for words. Fluttershy, for her part, seems ecstatic and circles the egg lovingly.
And then you hear a snapping sound, and a large crack appears on the egg’s surface. Both of you forget to breathe as more cracks appear and small pieces of the shell start to fall away. This continues, with larger and larger pieces flaking off, until what’s inside is revealed to you both.
It’s not a human, or a pony, or any combination thereof. It’s not even a living creature as far as you can tell. But despite that, it’s captivating, and feels oddly familiar on some level you can’t quite articulate. It hovers above the broken shell, a perfect sphere about the size of a tennis ball, but with the texture of a marble that constantly shifts and shimmers with a variety of colors and lights. You reach out to touch it, and can feel a gentle warmth from within, causing that strange nostalgic feeling within you to grow.
“What… what is it?” Fluttershy squeaks.
You sit there in silence for a few moments, again trying yet hesitating to touch the strange object, until the answer suddenly becomes clear.
“I think it’s what’s left of our two universes. Remember what Sun Horse said? About how they’d fold in and compress down into a single point? Call me crazy, but… what else could it be?”
Fluttershy returns to your side, and you both stare at the strange object together.
“I think that’s close, but not quite right,” she says. “Maybe that’s what it was before, but this is something we made together. I don’t think there are two universes, or worlds, or whatever you want to call them in there anymore. It looks more like a seed to me…”
She smiles proudly, and unmistakably, like only a mother can.
“A seed that can grow to become something amazing. All it needs is a little love.”
Taking one of your hands in her hoof, she looks up at you lovingly.
“Anon, I want you to know… that no matter what happens, or where we end up… I’ll always come to find you. Okay?”
And strangely, but maybe not so strangely, you smile back at her.
“Sure. But I’m not gonna make it easy for you. You’ll have to work for it, you little butterball. Just try not to destroy the entirety of the created order next time, alright?”
She giggles. “Okay, I promise.”
And with that, the two of you reach out to touch the shimmering orb together. The moment you make contact with it, nothing becomes everything, and the two of you are consumed by the unrelenting, explosive force of a new universe’s beginning.
You step out of cave. Today good day. Plains grass waves in wind and sun is high in sky.
Perfect time to hunt.
You take spear and Yak-skin tunic. Will hunt alone today. Cave-GF say she want tiger hide for clothes. You think if Cave-GF want a tiger hide, Cave-GF should go get it her damn self, but you too tired to keep arguing about it. She not been around in a few days anyway, so peace and quiet good.
You step into the grass and crouch low. Walk for some time. Then there a rustling to your side and you stop. A sabertooth pony comes out of tall grass, yellow coat like animal piss. It have wings, so flying-type. You stay cautious; Mother warn you about sabertooth ponies. They steal man away, never to return to tribe.
“Hey there, sexy,” pony say. “You come back to pony village with me. Have much food; much thot-shank steak. Eat well, then rut. Make many foals, if that okay with you.”
They have thot steak? Now that you think about it, your Cave-GFs have been getting brutally mauled for last few weeks. Could this pony be cause?
You grip spear tighter. You’re gonna unga bunga the fuck out of this dumb horse when it drop guard.
“No, don’t think so,” you say. “No mate with pony.”
“That too bad,” pony say. “Oh? What that? Is it attractive human woman with freaky large teats on chest?”
“Ooga? Where?”
You suddenly get clubbed on back of head and fall to ground. Another sabertooth pony, blue with mane of many colors, steps into vision carrying wooden stick. Blue pony and yellow pony share hi-hoof.
“We get sexy human!” blue one cheer. “Good job, Fluttershy.”
Well, looks like you fucked, Anon. Will get dragged to pony village, never to return to tribe.
As you start pass out, you see strange vision like tribe shaman sometimes talk about. See things don’t understand. Great, shiny towers. Great birds that carry many men in sky. Men and pony together. Build big villages, build big families. No understand.
But one thing clear. It seem you and descendants, pony and pony descendants will always be together from now on.
It strange world, indeed. But not bad, you think. Will come many suns from now, and not like you have choice anyway.
Because new world be made…
Yellow pony look at you and licks lips.
…by fucking Fluttershy.
The End
