Saffron Ree

Mom literally didn't care that everyone knew she and Dad were having sex. They weren't being loud about it, but it was so obvious that is what they'd gone to do I double anyone would think otherwise. It was at least ten kinds of horrible.

In protest, I decided to investigate the house we'd gotten. Approaching the marines carrying gear inside, I tried to get Frank Hollings' attention. Standing off to the side and trying to not be in the way wasn't working, so I decided the direct approach was needed. "Frank?"

Frank stopped and stepped out of the way of the others. "What's up, Saf?"

"Well, the whole needing an escort thing"—my words caused him to stiffen visibly—"does that apply to the embassy itself?"

"That's actually a good question, but it's for someone under Richards' chain of command. Bell!" Frank's shout would have startled me a week or two ago, but now it was just how soldiers would call to each other. When Corvinus Bell dropped out of his place carrying stuff, Frank gestured to me with a wing (and barely managed to not fall over). "Saf here needs an escort to explore the embassy building."

"Clark!" Bell's shout didn't surprise me either. "Clark, get your butt over here. You're on escort duty."

"Yes, sir." Clark followed me away from the soldiers carrying the stuff inside, and as soon as we were out of earshot of the work he smiled. "I'm not going to argue with the captain when I get out of hauling that crap. How you doing, Saf?"

"After today? Like shit"—the soldiers didn't seem to care if I swore or not, so I let it all out—"after we got chewed out. Figured I'd best get an escort to explore this place. You know, not rock the boat more."

Clark barked a laugh. "Honestly? You got our backs. Seeing Richards shouting at someone else for a change was a relief." We poked through a few rooms before he said more. "This place is huge, but everything's huge right now. Brass has no fucking clue what it's like getting this happen. They're all chill and happy because they're suddenly young. They don't have to deal with fucking puberty and—Sorry, Saf."

I held up a hoof to the soldier which he clopped with one of his own. "Preachin' to the choir, man. This is all kinds of"—I'd been waiting to use the acronym and this seemed the right moment—"fubar."

"You got that right. I can't wait to see how the next wave is going to take this. Probably another bunch of old bastards trying not to crow about how great it feels. The really messed up bit is what it's doing up here." Clark tapped the side of his head with a wingtip.

I had an idea what he was talking about, but wasn't certain. "Totally," I said.

"You get it too? Damn it, when I saw that pegasus guard that reported you two had been found—Her wings did it for me. I never thought I'd be into feathers on a girl, but when I saw the way her wings curled it was just—"

I remembered that feeling from back home. Candy had the most perfect ass I'd ever seen, and that she let me grab and squeeze it had done all kinds of things for my brain. I imagined millions of ways we could be together and I could do things with her.

Remembering Candy's butt now, though, did nothing.

What was up with me? Was this part of what he was talking about? My mind flicked through all the remembered images of my youth that had done so much for me. The dozens of pictures I had saved on my phone before we left—I couldn't for the life of me work out what I'd seen in them.

"I didn't realize—" I said.

"You're a bit younger still, aren't you?" Clark asked.

Standing beside him was enough to show that—I was about three quarters his size. I just nodded.

"Shit. If there's anything we can do to help, I'm sure the guys would do it. If we're going through hell starting at the start, it must be worse winding up before puberty." Hearing Clark state it out loud was akin to driving a hammer into the side of my head.

The worst bit was I didn't feel any loss. It just didn't matter at all to me. "Fuck."

Wandering in silence, we'd just found the second (and bigger) kitchen when Clark's radio crackled. "Clark, where you at?"

Reaching to where the radio was clipped to a strap around his upper foreleg, Clark bumped it with his hoof. "The kitchen. What's up, cap?"

That meant it was Bell who was calling. "Boss lady wants her boy. She said they need to get ready for a dinner party."

"We're on our way back. Thanks, cap." Clark removed his hoof from the radio. "Looks like we gotta turn around. Sorry, man, didn't mean to spring all this shit on you. You did me a solid with the wing exercises."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I know I should feel something about humans or ponies, but I just don't. Guess I have that to look forward to." We started walking back in the direction I hoped was right.

"Probably won't. You only have a few years. This extended life thing is pretty neat, but not from this end of it." Clark opened a door and I felt my ears twitch at the sound coming from down the end of a long hallway. "Not sure if I'm going to put in for a rotation back."

"Really?" I asked.

"Puberty sucked—still sucks—but this has the whole advantage of getting to do stuff all over again. Hell, I might put in for retirement and move here."

"Live out your days—centuries—as a cute pony?"

"Not so bad once I get to adulthood. Have you seen the wings?"

We both paused a moment then cracked up laughing. Our laughter, however, attracted the attention of someone at the other end of the hall.

Riley Ree

Mom had another argument with the soldier-lady. This time it hadn't been quiet words—they'd both been yelling for some time. Mom kept shouting that her guards could wait outside while the soldier-lady kept replying (equally as loud) that they would follow us everywhere.

Whatever happened, I got to wear my dress again. I looked away from Mom toward Dad, who was standing still with his ears tucked back. He was wearing a fancy black jacket that stopped about halfway down his back—it had been delivered along with the dress Mom was wearing a bit earlier.

"If that's the case"—Mom yelled—"then I want to send a message back to President Miller."

The request confused everyone. The soldier-lady looked really confused. "I'll have someone take it down. What do you want to send?"

"That I am being held under house arrest illegally, and to please send assistance." Mom's volume lowered and she turned around to face me, Dad, and Saf. "Back upstairs. We'll wait for relief from home and hope our captors will think to feed us."

"There's no need for these theatrics, Ambassador, we're not holding you against—"

"Then why aren't you letting me do my job?" Mom turned back and glared at the soldier-lady. "Care to take another letter?"

The soldier-lady's eyes narrowed.

"This one will be to Princess Celestia." Mom smiled. "Help. I'm being held captive. Please send—"

"You don't understand that if something happens to you, it'll be my ass in the fire over this. I don't—"

"Your ass? Your ass?! Colonel, you've exceeded your authority several times. If you aren't willing to take my messages to either be sent home or to Princess Celestia, I will have to consider your actions to be treasonous." Mom was winning the argument, I think, just based on how many times she cut in on the other lady.

"We are hardly at war with—" the soldier-lady said.

"You sure don't act like it. We aren't at war with the ponies. In fact, we're trying to negotiate treaties and trade deals. Your continued efforts to sabotage this diplomatic—diplomatic—mission are a threat to the future of our nation." Mom looked at the soldier-lady like she looked at shrimp. Mom really liked eating shrimp before, but I wondered if she still did.

"This will be reported as being against my recommendations." The way soldier-lady spoke made it obvious Mom had won.

"I can live with that. What I can't live with is armed guards following me everywhere at a state dinner. Assign whoever you want, but they will let me do my job." Mom turned to look at us, and I could see her face pull into a smile. "Honey, kids, come on."

Mom led us outside—along with four of the soldiers—where a pretty pony was waiting for us. She was pink, with pink mane and a pretty blue stripe through her mane. The best bit of all was she had the most amazing outfit on. She looked like a cross between a royal guard and a princess! There was armor, and a huge dress, and she looked so pretty.

"Princess Celestia cordially invites you to dinner and supper at the castle." And she spoke really prettily too!

Mom bowed to the other pony. "Thank you for the invitation. Will you be escorting us?"

"Of course, and please call me Flurry." Flurry was just about the most pretty pony I'd seen yet, and I'd seen a lot of ponies. She looked around at us, then to the four soldiers. "Your guards aren't required. I will assure your safety."

I could tell Mom liked her because Mom was wearing a real smile and not one of the fake ones she normally used. "Thank you, Flurry. My name is Clair, and our customs dictate I bring guards with me, unfortunately. They will wait outside while we dine. "

There was something odd. Normally Mom introduced herself to ponies with her full title, but she'd only used her first name. I tried to make sense of what was going on when Flurry turned and gestured forward. "Please, Ambassador Ree and your family, step right this way." She knew Mom's full name anyway! Now I was confused. "Would your little one like a lift? I've heard tell she enjoys a little altitude."

Sitting still was for suckers. I practically galloped up beside the pretty pony and was captured in a yellow magic aura. Lifted, I was set on Flurry's back. When she took a step, I felt her body and outfit move. There was more of the metal under her dress, and something else. "You're an alicorn!"

Mom, Dad, and Saf all looked at us with more curiosity—mom especially.

"Just Flurry?" Mom asked.

Flurry sighed. "I usually prefer to avoid it, since it gets all the wrong kinds of reactions, but my full name and title would be Princess Flurry Heart of the Crystal Empire." She sounded like saying her name was a chore—to be honest it kinda was with that much to it. "Please. For tonight I'm just another pony."

"Then I am just Clair. We can both be no one special tonight," Mom said.

Looking up at the castle, Flurry snorted. "I don't think there's much chance of that. Aunt Celestia has a banquet planned and has invited everypony who's anypony. You'll be stuck with your titles as much as I'm stuck with mine."

"Until we both have extra responsibilities, then." Mom walked beside us, keeping pace with Flurry. "What is the Crystal Empire in relation to Equestria, if you don't mind me asking?"

"It's fine. That's probably why Aunt Celestia sent me. When the Crystal Empire returned to Equestria, Princess Celestia sent Mom out to defend it from an old, evil sorcerer. Well, she did it, with some help, but everypony there saw her as their princess. Now she's kinda stuck, and between you and me she couldn't be happier. Dad too."

"The Crystal Empire is a city-state of sorts—I assume you want the more political version?" Flurry waited for Mom to nod. "It's a city-state, but also Equestria's closest ally. Mom toes the line on any mandates from Canterlot, and Canterlot does the same. What holds true as law in Equestria, holds true as law in the Crystal Empire.

"Economically, the Crystal Empire has two major things, tourism and crystals. Crystals can be enchanted to hold magic and perform spells on command—it's revolutionized Equestria's technology and has made Mom and Dad quite rich. Tourism is more a steady stream income. Anything else you needed to know?"

"Is there some way I could hire you?" I could tell Mom was only joking because she had her this is just a joke expression on, but at the same time I was sure she kinda meant it. Mom always had this look to her when she was memorizing every word said, and when Flurry had spoken she'd had that expression working overtime.

Flurry shrugged her shoulders as she walked. "You'd have to talk to Aunt Celestia. While I'm not part of the Royal Guard, she can order me to do something and I do it. She might be sharing leadership with Princess Luna, but the Guard are still pledged to Princess Celestia."

I used a hoof to feel Flurry's mane, and it was soft as a cloud! She and Mom kept talking all the way to the castle, but I kinda tuned it out because they never once talked about anything interesting. All the houses in the city looked really amazing. I mean, they all looked different to how we have them back home, complete with horses and love hearts decorating them, but combined they just made me feel like I was in a different world.

A really different world, I realized, when I looked at the castle. It. Was. HUGE! Also, I'm not a smarty-pants like my brother, but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't stand up. There were towers jutting out from places that overhung with nothing holding them in place. It was great!

"This," Flurry said, "Is Canterlot Castle. The seat of power of all Equestria. Please be welcome and come inside. If your guards are to remain outside, they can report to the guardhouse." She gestured to a large building to one side that—while it looked pretty—had nothing on the castle.

Mom turned to the four soldiers with us. "That was your cue. Princess Flurry has taken our safety upon herself. Try not to break anything."

"Yes ma'am. Just following orders, ma'am," one soldier said, but loud, then they all turned and marched off for that building.

"Now," Mom turned and looked between Saf and me. "Both of you will be on your best behavior. I don't want to hear about city-wide searches, wild adventures, or that you ate your own body weight in ice cream. I want you both to have fun, though."

"Mom, I'm pretty sure what you just said is mutually exclusive." Saffron, when I looked back at him, was rolling his eyes. "Besides, what can we possibly get up to at a dinner party?"

Mom actually groaned. "Saffron Ree, we both know you can get up to a remarkable—"

Flurry cut in. "Clair, if you'd like, I could find three mares who would be glad to keep an eye on them. They foalsat for me when I was younger."

That got my attention. Three ponies to keep an eye on us? Did we know them?

"That sounds wonderful, but only if it's not too much bother. Saffron and Riley have already made a reputation for themselves here, and I wouldn't hold it against anyone—anypony—to not want to stand in the same room as them." Mom winked at me while she spoke, and I couldn't keep from giggling.

"Come on, let's go ask them." Flurry quite literally just pushed forward, ignoring the guards standing outside (not that they tried to stop her).

I looked back to see Saf was following us, though he was looking around at the guards. By the time I looked forward again, I was shocked to see a face I knew. "Bloom!"

"Well hello there Riley. Come to the party Ah see?" Bloom walked forward and booped me on the nose. "Girls, this here is Riley Ree, ain't she just the cutest?"

I realized now that there was two other ponies with Bloom—a pegasus and a unicorn. The pegasus was wearing some kind of uniform that covered most of her body. Lightning seemed to be the main theme, and it was mostly blue. The unicorn was wearing the most fabulous dress I'd seen yet. It was huge, and she looked beautiful! With white fur and two-tone mane that was up in curls, she looked as pretty as—A sudden suspicion filled me.

"Are you Rarity's daughter?" I asked the unicorn.

"Sweetie Belle is Rarity's sister," the pegasus said. "I'm Sudden Turn, but if you wanna call me Scootaloo, that'd be fine too."

"I still can't believe you both went and changed your names!" Sweetie Belle looked at me. "Would you change your name?"

"Uh—" I said.

"I would. And I will when I'm legally allowed to." Saffron walked around Flurry and right up to Sudden Turn. "That's a cool outfit. Wonderbolts?"

I had no idea what a Wonderbolt was, but Sudden Turn posed with her wings slightly spread. "You better believe it! Best young flier, I might add, and in the reserves. Commander Spitfire said that if they need anypony, I get first call."

Saf fluffed his wings a little, and I could see him looking at Sudden Turn with a look that reminded me of the just a friend that kept visiting just before we left home. Now I had some ammunition to use later.

"Girls, I hate to ask, but is there any chance you could show Saffron and Riley around the party?" Flurry asked.

"Wait!" Saf took a step back. "I don't need a babysitter!"

"Pfft, hardly." Sudden gestured at a doorway. "But in there's a bunch of stuffy old has-beens that'd love to get you in trouble so they can use your behavior as a weapon against your mom." When her friends stared at her, Sudden shrugged. "Hey, when you're joining the Wonderbolts, you gotta learn about this kinda stuff."

"Gettin' all hoity-toity if you ask me," Bloom said.

"She's right, though. This has nothing to do with foalsitting and everything to do with keeping people from using a slip-up as a weapon against this whole thing." Flurry stretched out a wing and gave Sudden the wing equivalent of a thumbs-up. "So I need some clever ponies who know how to behave in these circles to protect you."

"Huh. Well, we gotcha covered," Bloom said. "C'mon, Riley, hop on!"

I didn't need any more encouragement than that. When the option was hang around with Mom during a snooty party, or hang around with Bloom and her friends, my answer was obvious. I jumped, soaring through the air like my brother couldn't, and landed on Bloom's back with a thud.

Saffron Ree

I waited for Flurry Heart to walk away before turning my full attention back on Sudden Turn. "Fluttershy told me her friend was in the Wonderbolts. I met Rainbow Dash once, but she wasn't wearing her uniform. What's it like?" The words tumbled from my mouth—nothing I could do (or wanted to do) would stop them.

"The uniform or the Wonderbolts?" Sudden asked.

I snorted. "Both. Wonderbolts first."

"Lots of work. There's two ways to join up—one is through military service in the E.U.P. Guard, the other is as a talented newbie. I went with the latter, but I'm starting to think I might sign up with the Guard anyway. Kinda backwards, but you can't get any higher than wingpony without it." Sudden walked beside me to the doors (behind her friends and Riley) and we walked into the biggest room I'd ever seen.

"Whoa." I couldn't get anything else out. This was like the time Mom took me to Uncle Jeff's celebration party—when he became president—only 10 times bigger.

"Pretty impressive, huh? Come on, let me take you to visit the rest of the Wonderbolts." Sudden turned to her friends. "Taking—Uh, Saffron, right?"

"Saf is fine," I said.

"'Kay. Taking Saf to hang out with some friends. You two have Riley covered?" Sudden waited long enough for her friends to nod, then started walking. "You coming, Saf?"

I didn't need to be asked twice. Sudden Turn was just about the most amazing pony I'd met yet. Fluttershy had been—well—impossibly nice, but when she admitted to being a hundred and fifty I almost freaked out. There was one thing I wasn't going to ask Sudden—her age.

Slipping through the crowd was easy with an adult pony leading the way, and doubly so for Sudden. Ponies didn't just shift aside for her, they made room. At some point she led me up to a V.I.P. rope, and someone unhitched it for her.

"He's with me," Sudden said when the big pony with the rope was going to turn me back.

I kept following, only to hear someone yell, "Hey! There's Strip! What's up? How were your friends?"

There was less crowd now, and Sudden Turn led me right up to a bunch of other ponies in uniforms similar to hers. "The usual. One's a genius at Celestia's school, the other's working on her dirt degree. I want you to meet somepony. Saf?"

"Hey! Saf is it? Planing to join the Wonderbolts when you grow up?" The mare talking to me had bright yellow fur and flame-colored hair. She sounded confident and looked it too.

"Saf here is the son of the new ambassador—you know, who this party is for?" Sudden spread her wing over my back and pushed me forward a bit. "In case you're wondering, Strip is my nickname."

"I-I'd need to learn to fly first." The words had tumbled out on their own. I don't know why I said them, just that once they were out a dozen of the coolest ponies ever looked at Sudden then at me. "I've only been a pegasus for about two weeks."

"You know, they say the commander here was flying as soon as she left her mom," A blue-furred pony said, elbowing the yellow one with a leg.

"I heard the commander wasn't born, she sprang forth fully grown and flying."

"Nah. Princess Celestia made her from spare pieces of the sun."

"Well I heard she—"

"Cut it out. Cut it out. Well, Saf, we can't have this. I promise you that by the end of the week, we'll have you flying," the captain said. "Look at Strip here. When I first met her she was older than you, and she couldn't fly. I yelled at her so hard she flew just to get away from me. Why don't you come out to the E.U.P. fields tomorrow, Strip'll show you where to go."

I had no idea how that had happened, but I was apparently going to be getting flying lessons. My brain tried to process the fact, but all that happened was I grinned like an idiot.

Sudden jerked me back to reality by giving me a little shake with her wing. "Think you broke him, commander. Hey! Saf! You want flying lessons from Commander Spitfire?"

Nodding was a good start. That's it, Saf, nod. Okay, now talk. "That'd be awesome!" Great, and I managed not to sound like an idiot.

"He's been talking to Crash too much, hasn't he?" Mr. Blue asked.

"Cut him some slack, Clipper. How'd you feel if you got turned into a different creature and dropped on another world?" Turning to me, Sudden Turn thumped me in the shoulder with a hoof. "I'll see you at dawn tomorrow, got it?"

"Y-Yeah!" I couldn't help feeling excited at this change. I was really going to learn to fly!

"Careful, Strip. Look at the gleam in his eyes. He'll be gunning for your spot in no time." Clipper (Mr. Blue) stretched a wing over my back. "You're going to want to have a light breakfast, so I'd suggest you eat well tonight. My recommendation is the pie à la Maud. I mean mode!"

"Soarin's got himself a new fillyfriend. Her last name is Pie, and he loves pies. It's a match made in—I don't even know. She's an earth pony with an extra helping of earth," Spitfire said.

"Soarin?" I asked.

"Clipper here's name is Soarin. Sorry, we use nicknames a lot." As one, the Wonderbolts fell in as Spitfire approached a table to one side. "He's totally right though, you gotta try the pie and ice cream."

Philip Ree

The stodgy sit-down dinner with old dignitaries I'd been expecting had yet to eventuate. Flurry led Clair around to meet older ponies, though she had words to say about each before introducing them. I was little more than an accessory.

"Hey, Philip, right?" a male voice asked from behind me.

I turned to see the most pristine and perfect example of a stallion. His fur was perfectly white, his mane nearly the same blue color the Royal Guards afforded, and he looked stuck in some kind of formal jacket thing.

"Uh, yeah," I said.

The stallion raised his voice and looked at Flurry. "Sweetie, I'm going to hijack Philip. I'm sure you'll get around to introducing us eventually, but take your time."

"Alright, Dad!" Flurry said.

Dad? Gears turned in my head. Flurry had said she was the daughter of the rulers of the Crystal Empire, that would make this… "Shining Armor?" I asked.

"Got it in one. Come on, all us spouses of leaders hide during this bit. You technically count." Shining led the way through the room—using his stature and importance to bulldoze a path—all the way to a pair of ponies who seemed to somehow be not involved with the party, yet still in the room. "Queen Prances, Lady Neighdine, this is Philip Ree, husband of the new ambassador and latest member of our club."

Queen Prances was big with a capital B, but perfectly proportioned for her height. She was a horse among ponies, and had a comparatively dull coloring of cream fur and brown mane/tail, though she was decorated from nose to tail in what would be called horse tack back home. The bridle and traces she wore bore little resemblance to the utilitarian items used to train horses, and looked entirely like jewelry.

Lady Neighdine was darkness personified (ponified?). Deep gray fur and a black mane that was styled into curls that hung halfway between her knees and her hooves. Just as immaculately presented, her tail was in a shower of curls and would have dragged on the floor if she didn't keep it arched high. She wore a torque around her neck that looked to be made of pure gold.

Both mares were akin to earth ponies (lacking horns and wings), though I wasn't sure if Queen Prances was some other species completely.

Going with the best behavior I could muster, I bowed my head first to Queen Prances (figuring a queen outranked a lady) and then Lady Neighdine. "The pleasure is all mine."

"You don't have to bow and scrape," Lady Neighdine had the thickest French accent I had ever heard—so much so it might even be a parody of one, "we're all equally just fashion accessories here."

"Quite so. Please, don't use our titles whatever you do—just Prances is fine between us." ~~Queen~~ Prances had a thicker accent, sounding Middle Eastern.

"Likewise; just Neighdine, please."

"Then I'm just Phil." Both mares smiled at my words. "So what are we supposed to do here?"

"Look pretty and not talk to anypony important about anything more interesting than the weather," Shining said. "But what we actually do here is gossip." He got a giggle from both the mares. "I heard you had things a little rough coming over here, Phil?"

"Oh dear, what happened?" Neighdine asked.

"Well, our world works a little different. We tried sending samples of animals first, and they didn't do well here." I couldn't foresee explaining the exploding mice as anything but a bad situation. "So Princess Twilight made something that would convert us when it transported us here. But that's not even the end of it. Our kind live to around eighty years old. My wife and I are in our middle to later years back home, but here we're just young adults."

"That certainly explains why somepony so young is in such a responsible role. Oh, but how are your little ones?" Prances looked genuinely concerned.

"Riley is handling it okay. She's barely beyond the point where a pony would be getting bottle-fed, and is surprising some ponies that she can talk at all, but it's my son—Saffron—who has it the hardest. He was on the verge of adulthood back home. Here, he's not yet into puberty." At my description of Saf's situation, all three of them winced.

"Was he the little colt I saw with the Wonderbolts?" Shining asked.

I quickly described Saf, and Shining confirmed it was him.

"He'll be fine with them. I might be biased toward the Royal Guard, but the Wonderbolts are probably the most tight-knit unit I've seen. If they've decided to help him, your son is going to have a bunch of big brothers and sisters who'll have his back."

Shining's vehemence reassured me that my children might be okay—at least for tonight. "So, what's the food like? All the events Clair took me to back home had tiny little plates with portions that wouldn't feed a rabbit."

"Princess Celestia wouldn't stand for that. If there's one thing that could make up for being dragged to these parties and paraded about, it's the food. Come on, I'll show you." Shining seemed so easy going I couldn't get my head around it. He was the husband of a princess who ruled an empire, how was he just so—well—normal?

I followed Shining, and realized Prances and Neighdine were both bringing up the rear. For the first time since being here I felt acutely aware that there was two pretty mares following me and both seemed to have their eyes glued ahead. It took almost a minute of such attention before my brain caught up and I realized I had found them pretty.

Of course you find them pretty, Philip, they're nice ponies and they are both dressed to the nines with expensive jewelry. Naked, Philip, don't forget they're both naked. My brain almost derailed as I realized everyone was naked. Everyone included me.

Stop. Don't go down that path or you'll wind up back home hiding under your bed. This is normal, these ponies are normal, and now you're normal. "So, Shining, what do you do with yourself when you're not stuck to your wife's side?"

"Captain Shining Armor—these medals aren't just for show. It's actually one thing that still binds the Crystal Empire and Equestria tightly. It means I have a lot of travel time between the cities, but it means I can be sure Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and my darling Cady are as safe as I can make them." As he spoke, Shining looked to inflate with confidence and pride. I couldn't blame him.

"And your daughter?" I asked.

Shining smiled wider than I would have thought possible. "Which one?" When I raised my eyebrow, he rolled his eyes. "Flurry you've met. She's doing well in the E.U.P. Guard—that is, the general armed forces. The Royal Guard is what I'm captain of, and while she'd love to join, there's a rather glaring restriction that she doesn't pass."

"Huh?" I asked.

With a dramatic sigh, Shining gestured toward a glut of ponies in the middle of the room. "Princess Celestia has a thing for white and gray/brown stallions. After the Cozy Glow incident, I managed to convince her to let me draw mares into her personal guard, but she still has a thing for aesthetic. Flurry is almost as pink as her mother and doesn't meet that standard."

"But she's doing well in the E.U.P.?" My question drew a nod from Shining as we reached a table laden with food. I looked at the array and was surprised. "I thought ponies were—well—that we didn't eat meat."

"It's cultural. It was mainly a pegasus thing, hence it being called pegatarianism, but there are a lot of mixed communities that add fish and other seafood to their diet. Officially, the combined Guard only cater to ovo-lacto vegetarians, but what ponies eat when not on duty is their own business." Shining used his magic to collect a plate and start loading it up with starchy foods. "Feel free to try some. If you come from a more—uh—varied diet, it might agree with you."

At one end of the table there was fish, prawns, and even several lobster. I watched as a pegasus nabbed one of the large crustaceans and ruffled their feathers in obvious glee. "You know, I think I might try a bit. Any other problems with it?"

"If you're not used to it, it'll give you the—ahem. I'm too used to the barracks, sorry." Shining added what looked like a Yorkshire pudding onto his plate. "You know about using your magic?"

It was nice of him to ask, but I proved my competency by picking up my own plate with magic. I picked up a plate with magic. The fact I could do that, the fact I could think and say it, was still amazing. "Yeah, I had a great teacher in Ponyville."

As I picked and chose some things (including a poached lobster tail), I watched Shining stack his plate higher and higher. By the time we turned away from the buffet table, he had almost twice as much food as I did. "High metabolism?"

"A little. I need a good amount of carbs to keep my muscle tone up. Takes a lot of work, but when armor weighs the same to me as clothes, it's worth it." Shining found a dining table off to the side of the party and settled down at a place. I sat opposite him, and both of us started eating.

"Work out a lot?" I asked.

"Like you wouldn't believe. You like to run?"

"You better believe it. I was running before even the earth ponies in our group." Normally, eating lobster was a messy affair at best, but with magic it was quite literally a piece of cake. Shining, to his credit, didn't bat an eyelid at me eating the fish. "Think we could slip away early and take a run around the city?"

"We'd have to dodge four alicorns, but I think we can manage it. It'll be a good to have somepony who can keep up." The smirk on Shining's face told me I was going to be in for a hard run if I wanted to keep up, but that had never put me off.

"Four alicorns?"

"Princess Celestia, Princess Luna (though she would probably let us go), Cady (she definitely won't let me go early), and Flurry. My darling daughter is many things, but she will tattle on us to our wives in a heartbeat unless we take her with us." Shining used his magic to deftly slice the pudding in half while he also poured gravy over it. "Best case is we get away without any of them noticing, but we don't have much hope of that."

"Are you trying to slip away?" Neighdine asked. "Perhaps we could be of assistance?"

"After dinner, though. Canterlot food is exquisite." Prances, with one of her big hooves, set down a plate stacked higher than Shining's had been.

"Of course after dinner. Also, if you want the best food a pony can be served, you must come to Prance." Neighdine closed her eyes and let out a little sigh. "We have our own chef, of course, but I love nothing better than slipping away and sampling the street food."

Prances nudged Shining with one elbow as she started the task of attacking her dinner. "The problem with Prench cuisine, Neighdine, is there is never enough of it on a plate to fill a mare, let alone a stallion."

"That's why I slip away." Neighdine gave an expressive and pained sigh. "Because you're absolutely right."

"After the dance, and when our partners introduce us, we all pretend we'd never met before. Each of us scatter in different directions and meet up over there." Shining pointed to a hallway door that looked unguarded. "I happen to know there's nopony guarding the kitchen hallway, and I've already bribed the head chef. We can sneak out into the garden from there."

His plan reassured me a lot more than his earlier words. All the usual requirements of hobnobbing would be complete by then, so it just meant we got out from under our partners feet—err, hooves, and could maybe chill a little. "Okay. Tell me when and what you want me to do."

"Just follow my lead. After we've all eaten, that's when our wives will ambush us," Shining said.

Author's Note

So I do this "Ask X" thing. X can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and they will definitely, hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories, and they will answer the best question in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer. Try to keep it to one question per post! They will pick one question per chapter.

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