Chapters Tales of a Stoner: Getting Luminous with high
Leaning back from the pile of paperwork on my desk. I look over to the clock hanging on the wall it read 10:45. Letting out a sigh of boredom as I realize that lunch starts at noon, I feel the need to stretch my legs. After I pushed away from my desk and stood up, I walked over to the double doors leading to the balcony and pushed them open. As I continue to walk out onto the balcony feeling the warm air of June against my face as I walk over to the railing, smiling. I lean against the railing looking over the city and seeing everyone going about their daily business.
As I watched them I heard the sound of a portal opening in my study. I stand up and start to make my way inside. I began to wonder why this portal has opened up. As I got inside, I saw that the portal has opened up in front of my desk. I could see what was on the other side of the portal but it was unfamiliar to me. As I got closer to my desk, I was able to see that the other side of the portal was following a male creature who had white spikey hair with grey tips he was wearing a black hoodie with a snake on the back with something written over it but I was unable to see what it was as it was covered with the hood. He was also wearing black loose-fitting pants and black and white fabric covering his feet.
Once I was done looking at his clothes, I began to look around the portal. As I looked to the left of the portal, I saw a row of shops and some of them having their windows broken or just being boarded up. Seeing how this would carry on for a couple more buildings, I look to the right side and saw what seemed to be houses. At the end of the houses, there was a field with some sort of school in the middle of it. AsI looked at the field, I saw what must be their children playing with each other and playground equipment. I then turned my attention back to him. Once my eyes were back on him I saw the other creatures going out of their way to avoid him.
As he continued to walk down the road, I could see some of them give him looks of disgust or hate. As I looked back to him I saw that he was pulling the hood over his head after he pulled the hood up, put his into some pockets on his pants, and turned down a side road. As he walked down the road, I saw a row of burnt down buildings on the right side, and the left I saw a small park that was abandoned and reclaimed by nature. As I pulled my eyes away from the park, I saw that he had stopped outside a small shop that looked like it could fall down any moment.
As I was looking at the outside of the building he began to walk towards the door. Once he was close enough, he grabbed the door handle and pushed the door open. As the door opens a small bell rang out pulling my attention back to him. I then saw him enter the shop as he entered I saw that it was a general store and that the inside of the store was cleaner and in a better condition than the outside. As I look around, I saw that he had walked over to some shelves that were stocked with different types of drinks and started to look through them.
After looking through the bottles he picked up a brown bottle that read ‘Old Jamaica ginger beer’. After picking it up he walked over to the counter and put the bottle on top of the counter. The cashier was about to scan the item, but he stopped and turned around and picked up two small boxes and some sort of pouch. He then scanned all the items before placing them on top of the counter.
As the creature the portal was following saw that the items were scanned, he handed over two pieces of paper that must be their version of currency. The cashier took the papers and put them into his pocket. He then handed back the change which was some metal coins and a different looking piece of paper. After the creature got his change and picked up the items put them into his pockets. After he put the items away, he turned around and exited the store. Once he was outside he then continued down the road as he walked down the road he then unscrewed the cap on the bottle once the bottle was open he brought it up to his mouth and proceeds to down the whole bottle he then pulls the bottle away from his mouth with a sigh, as he screwed the cap back on. He then threw the bottle into a bin that he passed by.
Not long after he threw the bottle away, he had turned right and started to walk down the alleyway. As he walked through I could tell that the alleyway was barely used because how overgrown it has gotten and the fact some of the walls have begun to fall apart. By the time I looked over the walls and looked back to him, I saw that he was reaching the end of the alleyway and that it led to another road. Once he came out the other side of the alleyway and onto the road, I saw on the side that he came out on had houses on either side and a field opposite from the houses. After I looked at the field and houses I saw him turn left and continued to walk until he was at the front door of one of the houses. Seeing this, I guessed this is where he lived.
Once he was inside after unlocking the door he saw a note stuck to the wall. Although I was unable to see what it was written on the note, I could tell that what was written on it was bad news because after he read the note he had a sad/hurt look on his face. I was proven right when he began to look around the house all the rooms except for one, which was empty. As he entered what must have been his bedroom, he started to pack some bags. As he was packing the bags, I saw him open up a drawer and pull out some folded clothes before putting them into a bag. Once he was done with that drawer he closed it and opened up the door underneath the drawer. He then pulled out three metal boxes and put them into a bag once. He put the boxes into another bag. He closed the door and went over to his bed. When he was at his bed, he crouched down and reached underneath it pulling out four small boxes and putting them into the second bag. After he had done that he looked around his room to make sure he had everything he needed, he picked his bags up and made his way out of the house.
Once he left the house began to worry for him since he left the door open and seemed to be lost in thought. AsI continued to watch him I saw that he was no longer paying attention to his surroundings. Anstead he would just keep walking forward into whatever was in his way. The only time he would move out of the way of something that he could not just push out of his way. This carried on until he comes up to across road as he approached the road I could see something speeding towards him but he continued to walk towards the road. When he stepped foot onto the road I saw that thing wasn't slowing down instead it was speeding up as he was about halfway and the thing was about to hit him.
As the thing came closer to him without thinking I shot up sending my chair flying into the wall and rushed towards the portal. AsI got closer I started to feel time slow down. Bythe time I had stuck my top half through the portal time had slowed to a crawl once I was halfway through the portal I saw that he was about to be hit by that thing. Without skipping a beat I reach towards him grabbing him and his stuff with my hands and magic. I started to pull him through and as I was pulling him through the portal, time had started to return to normal. By the time I pulled him through the portal it had closed behind us and time returned to normal.
After the portal had closed and time returned to normal, we both collapsed onto the floor. As I sat on the floor leaning against my desk I began to think to myself, ‘Why did I just do that?? I had no reason to save him, so why did I do it??’ But before I could get any deeper in thought I heard him start to scream in pain. I looked over to him to see him clutching his head. I started to use healing magic on him but stopped when I saw him bleeding from his eyes once the magic stopped he passed out.
Since I do not want to scare anyone I teleported him to my room. Only to hear somepony knocking on my door. Hoping that they will leave, I remain silent, only to have the door ripped from its hinges. I scream in fear, but then sigh in relief as I find out that it is only the Prince of Light.
“Luminous Skies, must you scare me like that all the time?”
Luminous grins. “Oh come on, you have to learn to have a sense of humour, Celly.”
(Luminous Skies is a nineteen-year-old tall and heavily muscled green pegasus stallion, almost as tall as Celestia herself. While Celestia stands at 8’0”, Luminous stands at 7’10”. He has enormous wings that he can use as another set of arms, and green and blue hair. He has green eyes and has a cutie mark in the shape of a blue and white star with Aurora Borealis behind it. He has god-like strength with god-like speed to match and can control light itself at will. (He can kick Celestia’s ass, but she doesn’t let anyone know that.) You don’t want to piss him off though because if you do, he can transform into his Darkness form. In this form, his hair and fur is pitch black and his eyes are glowing white; he can control darkness itself and his strength in that form hasn’t even been fully discovered yet. He is also the Element of Courage of the Elements of Harmony. And yes, he has also been dubbed an Equestrian prince.)
“Bee-tee-dubs, who’s that guy you’re hiding? Cause he’s waking up.”
“What?!” I look behind me to find that the person I saved wasn’t there anymore. I turn and he has a gun to Luminous’s face, glaring death at him. (If you guys were wondering, the person is 6’4”) Luminous is still keeping his cool.
“Where the hell am I?!” He shouts.
“Alright, how about we just put this away?” He takes the gun from the person’s hands and crushes it.
As the person saw his gun getting crushed he stood up and got in the face of the one who crushed and shouts at the top of his lungs “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! THAT WAS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE WEAPONS, YOU FUCKING TROGLODYTE!! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT I HAD TO DO TO GET THAT FUCKING THING?!!”
Luminous shakes his head. “Not really, but I don’t really care so here’s another one.” He pulls an exact copy of the person’s gun out of his tail and tosses it to him.
The person grabs the gun out of the air not saying a word but just giving the pony a death glare once he had the gun in his hands he inspected it and saw it was a perfect replica of the one that dick spot crush he placed it into his hip after he was done inspecting it. As he puts it in his pocket he gives a grunt of satisfaction.
“Ya happy now, asshole?” Luminous asks.
“No, why the fuck should I be happy you cretin you broke my fucking gun one of the only things I fucking ever cared for”
Luminous raises his hands up sarcastically. “Ooh, everypony look out! We have an edge lord over here!”
“Hey, dude. Go fuck yourself no, one fucking asked for what you think. Why don’t you do me and everyone a favour and go fucking kill yourself?” as the person said this the room dropped in temperature and both of the pony things just looked at him in shock.
Luminous glares at him. “Choose your next words VERY carefully.” His fur starts to darken.
The person took a moment to think before saying “How about fuck you, fuck you and fuck everything you hold dear to you. Your mom should have swallowed you.”
Luminous sighs. “Alright, fine.” With a blink of an eye, the person is slammed into the ground. Luminous looms over him. “You gonna take back that statement yet?”
“Sure...when I’m dead and forgotten then I will take it back,” the person says before coughing up a bit of blood
Luminous kneels down to his face and shakes his head. “You, my guy, need help.” His eyes glow green and tendrils of green light enter the persons chest before coming back out again. The person gets up and finds out that his internal bleeding and punctured lungs from the slam have been healed.
“Listen here, cunt. If I wanted help, I would get it. But just a little info for you, I don’t FUCKING NEED IT OR DO I FUCKING WANT IT!!”
“Wow you’re just a professional asshole aren’t you? Well I don’t want to have to deal with an asshole like you.”
“Then fuck off, no one asked for your help.”
Luminous shrugs nonchalantly, but Celestia knew how pissed off he was. “A’ight, fine then.” Luminous pulls out a brick from his tail and places it on the person's chest.
“Go ahead and do it. No balls!”
“Before I do this, tell me your name.”
“How about nope. If you want my name, you gotta earn it. Names have power, don’t you know? But if you must call me something, then you can call me Griffin. And only fucking Griffin no retarded nicknames or shortening it!”
By reading Griffins face Luminous knows exactly what his full name is and grins. “Well, nice to meet you…” he whispers Griffin's full name into his ear, which makes his eyes widen.
“WAIT! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW MY-AAAAHHHHH!!” Griffin was interrupted by his own screams of pain as Luminous began to impale his chest with the brick.
As this happened Celestia just watched in horror at what has just happened to Griffin who she only barely saved. Luminous turns to Celestia. “Don’t worry. That light I put in him gave him a temporary healing factor so he’ll be as good as new in no time. I just wanted to remind him who he was talking to. Welp, I’m going back home. I have six beautiful mares waiting for me in my mansion in the sky.”
Then he turned into Aurora Borealis and flew out the window.
Once he had left Celestia walked over to Griffin and picked him up and took him to her room, still unsure if it’s a good idea to show others him just yet.
Once he was in her bed, she put up a spell to let her know when Griffin would wake up before she leaves and goes to the dining hall. As she made her way to the dining hall her thoughts wandered back to Griffin and how he was acting. “What could have made him push everyone away and close himself off to others?”
—————————————————————
Time skip 1 hour
As Celestia sat at the dining room table waiting for the others to join her she took a sip of her tea looking out the window thinking about what she had witnessed earlier today.
Before she was completely lost in thought she was startled by the sound of the doors opening. She then looked towards the door to see who had opened the door she saw standing in the doorway was her four sisters.
The first of her sisters were Daybreaker, Celestia’s twin sister. They were the same height and everything, but instead of pink, blue, teal, and green hair, she had fiery (Literally, it was fire!) red hair with an attitude to match.
The second and third sisters were Luna and Nightmare Moon. They stood at 7’8”. Again they both were identical twins, but instead while Luna had blue fur and normal blue hair, Nightmare had black fur and a dark blue hair that looked like constellations.
Then finally there was Chrysalis, the youngest. Even though she was the shortest of the five, she was still 7’5”. Yes, she was evil before. But, Luminous Skies got her to reform. (Please don’t ask anyone how. Nobody knows) And it turns out that she was actually almost as shy as Fluttershy.
But suddenly all four of them hear noise from outside and look out the window and see a green comet coming down from the sky, towards the castle.
“Uh, what the hell is that thing?” Daybreaker says.
“I-I don't know,” Chrysalis answers. “B-But it looks like it’s coming this way.”
Daybreaker turns to her youngest sister. “Well, of course, we can see that, Captain Obvious!”
“Eep!” Chrysalis hides behind Nightmare. “I-I’m sorry!”
“Hey!” Nightmare glares at Daybreaker. “Asshole much?!”
Daybreaker scoffs. “Oh save it! That we have bigger things to worry about. For instance, that thing’s probably gonna hit this castle any second no-OOF!” The green comet had already broken through the window and landed right into Daybreaker chest which made her get blasted across the room right into a wall, much to the amusement of everyone who wasn’t Daybreaker in the room. Even Chrysalis and Celestia let out a giggle. When the dust finally settled the sisters, much to their delight, saw Luminous Skies stepping off of a sprawled-out-in-the-wall Daybreaker.
Luminous chuckles. “Heh, sorry about the window. For some reason, the others said I had to leave the house for something, so I hightailed it out of there as fast as I could.” He points to Daybreaker who was still on the ground. “That, however, I have no regrets.” The others laughed at that.
Luminous helps Daybreaker up. “C’mon Day, you said you were gonna block that next time.”
“Wha-I wasn’t ready!” She laughs.
“I gave you like ten seconds!” He said with a raised eyebrow, making Daybreaker laugh more. Luminous and Daybreaker always get into dangerous antics like those, and that’s what makes them such close friends.
“That doesn’t count!” She says.
“Pfft. Excuses, excuses. You’re just butthurt that Luminous kicked your ass...AGAIN.” Chrysalis says with a smirk.
“Ahh, SHIT! Burn!” Nightmare Moon high fives her younger sister.
“And by burn we don’t mean her hair!” Luminous says, getting a high five from Nightmare Moon.
Luminous smiles at Chrysalis. “Looks like someone isn’t so shy after all.”
Chrysalis smiles back. “Only when you’re around.”
“Dawww.” Says everyone in the room.
“Come here, little sis!” Chrysalis practically jumps into Luminous’s arms for a big hug.
Ever since Luminous had reformed her, Chrysalis has seen him as a big brother ever since. Despite the fact that they are tens of thousands of years apart. She always felt the safest while he was around and he’s the only one that she really ever shows her not-so-shy side in front of.
Suddenly Chrysalis is picked up and put on the ground by a blue aura, and Luminous’s vision is replaced by Luna, who is slowly walking up to Luminous, eventually backing him up into a wall.
“Hey, I saved the best for last.” He says with a smile.
Luna makes it up to Luminous and presses her G-cup sized rack against his chest, giving him a lustful smile.
“Good choice~”
At this point, Luminous is as red as a tomato. And he becomes a whole lot redder when Luna pulls him into a make-out session. It lasted a few minutes until Daybreaker and Celestia finally pulled Luna away from Luminous, who was now a few seconds away from fainting.
Before anyone could say anything they were interrupted by a flash from Celestia's horn. Everyone turned to see a worried look on Celestia’s face before she stood up and ran out of the room and towards her room. Confused about what was happening, they followed Celestia to her room.
Luminous sighs. “Oh boy here it comes...this guy.”
After running through the maze-like halls of the castle for 5 minutes they came to a stop after hearing Celestia scream. When they turned the corner that leads to her bedroom they saw Celestia standing outside her room with a look of shock and fear. As they got closer they saw that Celestia was muttering something to herself and crying. Wondering why, they looked into the room and saw Griffin sitting upright with blood-red eyes and he was staring blankly into Celestia’s eye.
Without thinking, Chrysalis ran over to Griffin to try and see what was wrong with him when she was close enough she felt the emotions he had locked away after feeling all of them trying to break out she dropped to the floor crying and muttering to herself.
“Holy shit!” Luminous runs over to her little sister. “You good?” When she doesn’t answer, he presses his fingers against her temples. As his fingers start glowing, he starts to sing a soothing song. Slowly, a relaxed smile comes up on Chrysalis’s face as she leans into Luminous.
“Thank you, big brother. I needed that.”
Luminous nods before glaring at Griffin.“Jesus Christ, we can’t leave him for a second without something weird happening.” He walks over to him and his eyes glow green. Using the same technique before he begins to heal Griffin up. But suddenly he springs to life.
“WOOOOO IM STONED!!!” He screams with a huge smile. Luminous facepalms himself.
As Griffin heard crying he looked around till his eye’s landed on Chrysalis. he looked her over before saying, “One, who the fuck are you lot? Two, why should I really care? Never going to use your stupid fucking names anyway, and three, why the ever-living fuck are you crying you overgrown sock puppet?!” sounding annoyed by the end of his little rant
Chrysalis begins to cry because of the insults directed at her and hides behind Luminous, who is now glaring death at Griffin who is beginning to have second thoughts.
Griffin smiles nervously. “Heh, is it too late to take that back?”
“YES. He pulls out another brick and kicks Griffin to the ground. Celestia gasps in fear as she knows what’s about to happen next, Daybreaker raises her eyebrows, and everyone else is confused.
“Man and I was JUST starting to like you.” With that, Luminous shoves the brick back into Griffin’s chest, causing him to scream in pain again. The others screamed in fear and disgust. “If you didn’t learn from last time, NO ONE makes the ones I love cry. I’ll be far less understanding in the future.”
It takes the full combines strength of all five sisters to pry Luminous off.
Since his lungs and throat were crushed at the moment, Griffin mouthed out. “Bunch of little cunts can’t let a guy be himself
Luminous growls at him. “Welcome to Equestria, Short.”
Griffin shouts at him. “SHUT THE FUCK UP!! DON’T SPEAK THAT FUCKING NAME!!”
“Oh I’m sorry, did that hurt your feelings? Doesn’t feel so good does it?” Luminous said with venom in his voice as the sisters try to calm him down.
“Bitch who needs feeling like a said before names hold power and you ain’t got the right to fucking use it no one does SO DON’T FUCKING DO IT,” Griffin says with a voice that could chill you to the bone.
Luminous seems unfazed. “If names bring power then let me tell you mine.” He pulls the brick out from Griffin’s chest and heals him up immediately. “My name is Luminous Skies, Guardian of the Night, Prince of Light, and co-ruler of Equestria. This world is different from yours. This is my world,” he gets in Griffin’s face. “And YOU’RE. JUST. HERE.”
Griffin just looks at him with a flat level gaze and say “lad listen here one I don’t give a fuck if this is your world or the fucking Cthulhu's world and B I don’t give a fuck what Name you give me I will fucking call you whatever I fucking want and I know that ain’t your true name that’s just your birth name and title”
Luminous grins. “Fine. I’ll tell you.”
Luna interjects. “Wait! Are you sure you want to tell him?”
He nods. “It’s about time everyone knows.”
Griffin cuts him off “I may not give a fuck about your real name but I should warn you that if you tell someone your real name they will hold power over you. Powers I bet you don’t fully understand since your so willing to tell everyone about it.”
“I’ve already told the ones that I needed to tell, but I trust that you won’t go screaming it to everypony.”
Griffin just chuckled at hearing this “Let me tell you a little bit about me so you understand. When you piss me off, and I mean REALLY piss me off, I will do everything I can to destroy everything you care for.”
Luminous sighs. “Do you WANT me to stab you with a brick again?!”
“Nonono, you can tell me you’re real name now.” Griffin says quickly with wide eyes.
Luminous takes a deep breath. “Alright. My real name is Luminos Aurora Oranos Aethers. Happy?”
“I would be happier not knowing it, to be honest, it sounds so fucking stupid,” Griffin says sounding bored.
“I think it sounds pretty cool.” All five sisters say at once.
Luminous smirks. “Short-Circuiting Griffin sounds pretty stupid too, but who cares right?”
“Hey, it reflects my mental state so fuck you. You overcooked cheese-it.”
“Bitch, I’m green, not burnt orange.”
“Really you look kinda orange to me,” Griffin says scratching his chin.
Luminous frowns. “It’s because you’re high as shit you twat.”
“So fuck what you smeghead.” Griffin then burst out laughing.
Luminous starts laughing as well. “Who you calling smeghead you daft cunt?!”
“You, you Kryten looking mother fucker.”
“I’m sorry you’re the fucked up Brit here not me!”
“One fuck you I like how I look and two how in the 9 circles of hell do you know I'm British you bloody wanker,” Griffin says confused
Luminous smiles. “Because I’ve been a human too.”
Griffin raises his eyebrows. “Oh good for you”
Luminous kneels down, looking at Griffin directly in the eyes. “And us humans have to stick together, right?”
Griffin grins. “I guess so.”
Luminous finally stands up. “Well I'd better get going, it’s about time I get back home.” With that, he flies out one of the windows.
Griffin looks around before asking “So what the fuck is going to happen now.”
The sisters look at each other before Celestia says “Well I think we should head to the dining room and get something to eat. While we are eating I will have a maid prepare a room for you and have all your things moved there.”
Once Griffin stood up, they start to make their way to the dining room.
—————————————————————
Luminous POV
“Aaaand we're back!” Luminous is at the door of his house he kicks open the door. All of the lights were off so it was pitch black, but Luminous didn’t really care.
“Couch. Now.” He falls face first into the couch. But the pillow his face is on causes his head to bounce a little, along with the pillow jiggling also.
“Huh, weird. I don’t remember getting this pillow before. But it’s so comfortable! There’s even a dip in the middle from top to bottom of the pillow for your face!” Suddenly he gets a scent from the huge pillow.
“Wait, why does it smell like apples?”
“Isn’t it obvious, Sugarcube~?”
“HOLY SHI-Applejack!!”
Luminous jumps in surprise. He immediately gets off of the couch and turns on the lights to find out that it indeed is Applejack, Element of Honesty and one of his marefriends, laying down on the couch. Don’t worry, she’s still fully clothed. She’s giving Luminous a lustful gaze.
“Scared me to death! Wait, what was that big pillow I was resting o-”
Luminous’s face becomes beet red as he realizes what he was resting on. Applejack giggles as Luminous looks away.
“Curse you and your 55-inch, perfect, round pillow you call a posterior!” Luminous says with a grumble. “Besides, you have always said that whoever touches that thing, THEIRS will be kicked!
Applejack walks up to him, hips swaying, and wraps her arms around his neck and looks up at him, still giving him her lustful gaze. Even though she stands at a staggering 6’10”, Applejack is still a foot shorter than Luminous.
“Come on, baby. Ya know you‘re the only exception.” She says and gives him a passionate kiss.
Applejack and the rest of the Main 6 have been dating Luminous for about three months now, and have secretly decided to take their relationship a step further. They sent Applejack to his house to rile him up, and they were going to head there in about a half hour to “join the party”.
After she breaks it she giggles at her coltfriend’s goofy grin. “I ain’t gonna lie, it did feel kinda good..”
She then whispers into his ear. “Then why dontcha have some more~?”
“Eep!”
Luminous backs away while holding his hands up in a defensive manner “How about we save that for another time?”
“Nnope~” She pushes him hard enough that he falls on the couch. Luminous may have god-like strength but when he’s flustered like this, he’s practically helpless.
Luminous, being the ruler of Equestria and all, could have easily commanded Applejack to stop. But since he and the Main 6 have known each other for so long, it’s not like that. They’ve always seen each other as equals ever since they became the Elements of Harmony. Hell, the Main 6 are all older than him by at least five years so sometimes they treat him like a kid. Luminous doesn’t like that...most of the time.
“Now come on AJ, you don’t have to do this!” Luminous said his face getting redder and redder, and he is shivering…but not out of fear. He has a few weaknesses when it comes to romance of any kind.
And what Applejack was about to do to him was one of them.
Applejack walks over to Luminous and turns around. “Ah know. But ah really, really want to~”
And with that she spreads his legs, and sits DIRECTLY on Luminous’s privates.
Luminous got a hard-on right there.
And to make it worse, she started to grind down on him. It wasn’t a few seconds later before Applejack felt something tap the middle of her back.
She thought that Luminous wanted to tell her something and turned around to find something... something big.
“WHAT IN TARNATION?!!”
Applejack sees that Luminous has pitched a tent. A fourteen-and-a-half-inch tall tent. She stared at it in shock for at least a minute.
Luminous looks away. “Now do you see why I didn’t want you doing that?”
Applejack immediately took out her phone and texted the others to get here NOW.
“I’m guessing you called the others?” Luminous concluded. “Well, what do we do until then?”
Applejack gives a lustful gaze towards his rod. “Lets just say, Ah’m gonna enjoy this as much as you are~” She then turns around and continues grinding on him, and both of them are breathing heavily. While Luminous’s face gets redder, Applejack’s nethers get wetter.
—————————————————————
Pov Griffin
Once we had eaten I was escorted to the room I will be staying in the room itself was rather plain looking with the basics like a desk dresser drawers and a bed with a bathroom attached on the right side of the room the bed was opposite the door to the bathroom with the desk and draws by the balcony and window at the other end of the room.
I was sitting at the desk singing to The Strumbellas - Spirits as I sang along I was rolling myself a joint as I was finishing up rolling it I heard a knock on the door not wanting to talk to anyone at the moment I would have just Ignored the door but instead of whoever it was turning around and leaving they just open the door wondering who the fuck it was I turn my head to see that it was to see its the one that was crying in front of me earlier seeing who it was I decided to cut to the chase and asked “who are you and what do you want now” after asking that I finished my joint and waited for her to speak
She flinches back and tries to hide behind her mane before squeaking out “I-I’m Chrysalis a-and I just w-wanted to check up on you and t-talk about what happened earlier”
I swore I could just see the image of Luminous Skies behind her giving me a warning glare.
I sat there for a moment thinking before just shrugging and point towards the bed “common then take a seat since you want to talk” I then stood up and talker over to the bed with my newly rolled joint and zippo in hand.
Once I had sat down on the bed I lit my joint and took a pull at the same time I saw Chrysalis looking at it in confusion seeing this I got a great idea I then stretch my arm out towards and said “here try some it will help you relax”
Chrysalis hesitated for a moment before grabbing the joint before she took a pull Griffin stopped her and told her how to smoke it properly
After taking a couple of pulls she heard Griffin ask in a calm and gentle tone which surprised her “Do you feel better now Chrissy?”
Chrysalis blushed and took a deep breath before saying “yes I am thank you but why are you talking like that I mean before you were so mad but now your happy”
Griffin took another hit before replying “well Crissy just between me and you there is a lot wrong with me my anger for one I'm not always so angry but when something makes me angry and that takes a lot it takes a long time to get over it since I bottle it up until it comes out like earlier”
Chrysalis took a moment to think over what he had just said but can only come up with one question without thinking she asks him “why do you bottle up so many of your emotions” when she realised what she had said she began to panic until she felt Griffin place one of his hands on the top of her head and started to scratch behind one of her ears. But he felt something slap his hand away.
“Well Chrissy it’s simple really to me emotions are pointless so I block them away with the help of my other mental problems why does it matter to you anyway”
Chrysalis flinches before saying “Because I can see your emotions.”
“How the fuck can you see my emotions and what do they look like”
Humming in thought Chrysalis says “Well, your emotions look like little skulls each with a different face and colour, for example, your sadness is a skull with blue mist and teardrops engravings into but a ponies sadness looks like a blue mist.”
“Okay, but what do my anger and love look like then?”
Chrysalis had to move a little closer to get a better look but what she saw shocked her there in the depths of his soul was a small skull with pink mist and heart engravings it was no bigger than a single bit. And towering above it was a white wolf skull that was dripping blood and slowly filling up with a bloodred mist the size of a pocketbook was his anger growling and snarling.
After seeing enough, she backs away and rubs her eyes before sighing. “That seems pretty bad.”
Griffin raises his eyebrows. “I was expecting you to be more terrified.”
Chrysalis shakes his head. “I’ve seen worse.”
Griffin doesn’t believe her. “Oh yeah? From who?”
“Luminous Skies.”
Author's Note
go check out my buddy Luminous Skies
If there are any mistakes please let me know
Tales of a Stoner: Getting Luminous with high
Chapter 2 “Wait...we’re WHAT?!!” [Unedited]
**Two days later**
Griffin and Luminous are currently high as a flying shit, hotboxing a room. They each have an arm around each others shoulders and seem to be having the time of their lives.
“HeY GriFfiN TaKe iT AwAy!!” Luminous says with a goofy smile.
“I’m GonNa TaKe mY HOrsE To tHE oLd ToWn rOaDS, I’m gONnA,”
“RIIIIIIIIIDE TILL I CAN'T NO MORE!!”
“I’M GONNA TAKE MY HORSE TO THE OLD TOWN ROAD”
“I’M GONNA RIDE ‘TILL I CAN’T NO MORE (KIO, KIO)”
They continued to sing until eventually, someone opened the door to the room. The five sisters looked at them in shock. Luminous and Griffin just stare at them blankly.
“What.”
“HOW?!” Celestia screamed in shock and frustration.
Luminous answers. “Well, this is what happened. I found out that Griffin had a few smokes, right? Well he offered me one so I decided to try it. And next thing we know a boo-
“I don’t mean that!!” She turns to Luminous. “How were you able to make friends with him?!”
Griffin speaks up this time “well it's easy you just gotta wait and in time I will come to you.”
Luminous looks at Griffin in shock. “Grif, that was probably one of the most calm-minded and reasonable things I have ever heard you say.”
Griffin looks back at Luminous and smiles.
Luminous smiles also. “My man, up top!” He raises his hand up and Griffin slaps it.
——————————————————————
Two days ago
Luminous is blushing up a storm on the couch as Applejack is sitting down on his lap, facing him with a lustful gaze.
“I-I don’t really think that it was necessary that you had to call the others in this.”
Applejack grins. “Ya think we didn’t plan this?”
Luminous’s pupils shrink. “Holy crap, you did! Didn’t you?!”
“Guilty~”
Luminous groans in embarrassment. “Of course you did. Now the others are gonna come barging through the door, and when they see the “situation”, they’re ALL gonna want a piece of me and I’m gonna pro-MMPH!”
Luminous panicking is cut off by Applejack pulling him into a make-out session that lasted for over ten minutes. When she finally breaks it Luminous has yet another goofy smile on his face. “Heheeeeheeeeehaaaa…” Luminous says drunkenly. “Ya know what? Why the hell not? It’s about time I lose my V-card anyway.”
Applejack smiles. “That’s the spirit, sugarcube~”
“So where are the others?”
As if on cue, the front door is swung wide open. And standing on the other side is who other than the rest of the Mane 6.
(Just so you know, these are the heights of the Elements of Harmony.
I CHANGE MY MIND!!
“What’s going on here?!” Twilight Sparkle asked, afraid that the plan may have gone awry.
Applejack turns around to face them and Luminous looks over her shoulder. “Uhh, pancakes?” Applejack answers.
“So you’re saying his P hallus is A ctually N ot C urrently A s K ing-sized as predicted, but E ven more S ubstantial?!” Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Twilight say at once.
They even have codenames and acronyms?! How long have they been planning this??
“Eeyup, it’s fourteen-and-a-half inches long!” Applejack says, getting a little “excited” herself.
The others gasp in shock and excitement while Luminous gasps in fear.
Oh god, now they all know!!
**Back in Canterlot**
Chrysalis was walking around the gardens when she heard someone softly singing to themselves. Wondering who it was singing she followed it to an overgrown nook behind some hedges at the back of the garden as she got closer she could make out that it was Griffin and he was sitting on a piece of a broken wall. She was shocked at his singing voice, so she simply waited for him to finish.
After Griffin finishes singing, Chrysalis walks up to him. “That was beautiful. I didn’t know you could sing.”
This scared the ever-living shit out of Griffin. “SCHEISSE!!” He accidentally jumps off the edge.
Chrysalis gasps and immediately runs over to the ledge to see if he was ok and what she saw shocked her.
Griffin was floating in mid air curled up into a ball. A red aura was surrounding him along with a horn on his forehead that both of them were sure wasn’t there before. Griffin only had one thing to say.
“What the FUCK IS HAPPENIIIING?!?!”
Later
“So you’re telling us that you suddenly grew a horn out of the blue?” Daybreaker asks, clearly as confused as the other four sisters in the room with her.
“That’s the truth and I swear I’m as confused as you are!” Griffin shouts.
Nightmare Moon puts a hand to her chin. “Perhaps Luminous Skies could help us out with this. I mean, he HAS been a human before.”
Celestia interjects. “Well, we can't get to him because he’s unavailable at the moment.”
“What do you mean?” Luna asks.
“Let’s just say he’s “dealing” with somepony. Six someponies to be exact.”
“They’re having sex!” Daybreaker says flat-out.
“Wait, WHAT?!” Luna shouts in outrage. “I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE HIS VIRGINITY!!”
Daybreaker couldn’t help but laugh at Luna’s outburst.
“C’mon, Luna,” Nightmare consoles her. “I’m sure that they’re just watching a movie or something.”
—————————————————————
MEANWHILE IN LUMINOUS’S HOUSE
“HEY HEY HEY, CHILL! CHILL!! CHILL!!!” Luminous screams as he is currently getting chased around the house by six horny mares.
“Come on, Lulu,” Rainbow says sensually. “All we want is a little look~”
Luminous covers his crotch as he runs through his house. “Yeah! A little look turns into a little feel, which turns into a little taste, which turns into a LITTLE PENETRATION!!” He finds a closet and runs into it and locks the door and turns the lights off. Everything is silent in the closet, until he hears a certain somepony cough.
Recognizing that cough anywhere, he speaks up. “It’s the adorable Element Of Kindness herself, eh?”
“Hi, Luminous,” Fluttershy whispers in the darkness. “Don’t worry. I won’t let the others get to you.”
Luminous sighs in relief. Out of everyone, Luminous had known Fluttershy the longest so he knew he could always count on her. “I knew you wouldn’t go ahead with this.”
Suddenly he feels himself get pushed onto the ground and two large soft mounds press down onto him.
“That’s because I’m going to have you ALL to myself~” Fluttershy says sexually.
Uh oh, Fluttershy’s J-cup tonhongerekoogers! I can’t get out from under these!! Wait, why the hell am I complaining?! I’m living every stallion’s dream right now! It’s time to embrace it!
Before anything could escalate further Luminous and the main six was teleported to the throne room in canterlot castle once the smoke had cleared up the main six saw Luna with an angry and upset look on her face as she is being held down by Nightmare Moon and Daybreaker while Celestia and Chrysalis were trying to calm Griffin down from his panic attack.
Luminous grunts in frustration. “Dammit! I was JUST about to get lucky!” He then looks at Luna, who is glaring death at him and the Mane 6, who are now showing looks of fear including, Luminous.
Luminous huddles up with his fellow Elements Of Harmony. “Alright girls, listen up. The deal is that Luna always wanted to be the one to take my virginity.”
“Let me guess. The fact that we tried to take it first made her so jealous that she’s basically calmly out for out asses, right.” Pinkie says without missing a beat.
Luminous nods. “So we all gotta run,” he points in the direction of the balcony railing. (Lemme reminds you that the room they are in is on the top floor of the castle.) “THAT WAY!” The Elements of Harmony book it towards the balcony and jump off the edge. Luna suddenly breaks out of her sisters' grip and chases the Main 7.
The Main 7 land on the ground unharmed and relieved. “Alright, I do believe we have lost her.” Rarity says.
“YOU ARE WRONG!! SO VERY VERY WRONG!!” Rainbow shouts in fear as she points to the balcony, getting the others to see that Luna has jumped over the balcony and is now nose-diving towards the seven while screaming in rage. The Main 7 book it once more.
“SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!!” Fluttershy screams as she and the others run away from the angry alicorn.
Luminous conjures a platform of purple light and hops on it. “Everypony get on!!”
One by one the other quickly get on and find a place on the platform. But Twilight must have stumbled on the way or something because she hasn’t gotten on yet and is trailing behind the platform! Luminous extends his abnormally large wing and grabs her hand and pulls her on.
“Thanks, Lulu.” Twilight says in relief. She then looks behind her at Luna, who had a look of sadness on her face. Twilight now realizes why she was so upset before.
She informs the others. “Guys, I don’t think Luna was angry because she wanted to take Luminous’s V-card first. I think she was upset because she felt left out.”
After thinking about it for a while, they all believe the same thing and feel kinda bad. The girls look at Luminous who has a look of determination.
“Let’s then this slab of light around eh?” With one quick jerk, he turns the platform around and directs it towards Luna who now has a look of confusion. That look of confusion quickly turned into happiness as she sees Luminous’s smile...
—————————————————————
Back to Griffin
Griffin was currently sat down in a chair as Chrysalis rubbed his back as Griffin sat there he heard Chrysalis ask “how are you feeling now”
Griffin took a few deep breaths before saying “yeah am fine just please stop touching me”
“E-erm sure”
Once she had removed her hand from his back Griffin got to his feet and said “Thanks Chrissy but please don’t touch me again”
After hearing this Chrysalis started to cry before running out of the room and for Celestia to look at him with shock while Nightmare Moon and Daybreaker look. Suddenly he hears from outside.
“GRIFFIN I HEARD THAT YOU SON OF A BITCH!!”
After hearing this Griffin just looked confused “what do you mean what did I do this time”
Luminous suddenly emerges from the floor with a brick in his hands.
Griffin screams and bolts out of the room.
“Woah dude why are you coming at me with a brick again?! I don’t even know what I did wrong!!”
“Bitch, you made my sister cry and unless you apologize, ANOTHER BRICK IS GOING THROUGH YOUR CHEST!!”
“Dude I don’t even know what I did you make her cry all I did was ask her not to touch me again what the fuck is wrong with that?”
Luminous narrows his eyes. “Did you ask nicely?”
“I don’t fucking know I just asked her not to touch me again I just don’t like being touched granted I never explained why or had the chance too”
“Look I really don’t care. Did you say please don’t touch me again or not?”
“Yes I fucking did I said thanks and said please don’t touch me again.”
Luminous calms down and throws the brick away. “Okay that’s all I needed to know. Sorry about snapping like that, it’s just that these ponies are the only ones that I have ever cared about so I’m kinda defensive over them.”
“Ya I get you but you still got ya chill and get both sides”
This time Celestia spoke up “I think I can shed some light on what just happened” seeing how she had both of their attention she continued “since she is a changeling she still is not used to being accepted she forgets that she is not hated like she used to be”
“So is that why she sees me as her big brother? Because I was the first person to really care about her?” Luminous asks.
Celestia looks at Luminous and only shakes her head with a smile. “No, but that’s why you became the first person she ever loved. You became like a big brother to her all on your own. I assume it was how you always encouraged her to make new friends, we’re always her shoulder to cry on, and always protected her from any pony who saw her as inferior in any way.”
Luminous smiles at that.
Celestia smiles back before looking back at Griffin and saying “I think it would be best if you go and explain to her what you really meant by your request”
“Yup and while you do that, I’m gonna find where I put the Main 6 and Luna,” he starts to look around. “If I can find them.”
Suddenly the Main 6 and Luna pops out of nowhere and tackle hugs him into a portal that Twilight must have conjured up somehow.
That portal leads then to Luminous living room, which has a couch to fit fifteen ponies and a 96-inch flat-screen to match. “How the hay did we wind up back at my house? What are we doing here anyway?”
Pinkie jumps onto the couch and grabs the TV remote. “Netflix!” She says as she turns the television on.
“And chill!” says Applejack as she gets comfortable on the couch.
“And snuggles!” Fluttershy says with a cute smile as she jumps towards Luminous and wraps her arms and legs around him and nuzzles into his neck.
Luminous smile grows wide. “I’ll prepare the food!” He says as he gently puts Fluttershy onto the couch and zips into the kitchen. He came back out with an insurmountable amount of food. The mares’ mouths watered at the sight of it. (Bee-tee dubs, in this universe the theory that ponies are vegetarians is FAKE).
Before they could dig in, Luminous felt a disturbance in the force. “Ah shit.”
“What?” The mares ask in unison.
“Celestia is about to do something stupid!”
“AGAIN?!”
“Yup we gotta go!” Luminous picks up Luna and they raced out of the door, leaving the Mane 6 standing there.
“Uh, Twilight? Plan B of “Operation: Lay the Lulu” has backfired.” Rainbow Dash says.
“...Two plans down, twenty-four to go!” The Mane 6 say with determination.
—————————————————————
Knowing what it’s like to be alone Griffin left without saying anything once he was in the hallway he had asked one of the guards if he would take him to Chrysalis after explaining why he was looking for her the guard on the left nodded and started to lead Griffin through the halls towards the gardens
**POV Griffin**
Once I got to the garden I could hear crying following the sound to a shady tree at the back of the garden I saw Chrysalis was sitting under the tree and was playing with a snake.
What are you waiting for? Talk to her!
“Hey Chrysalis I just want to explain what I meant earlier”
Chrysalis just kept playing with a snake. The snake was black with a small white heart on its forehead
Seeing this I sat down next to her before continuing “well you see Chrysalis it’s nothing you did wrong it's just I don’t like being touched by anyone at all doesn't matter who it is I just don’t like the feeling I get from others”
After hearing this Chrysalis look at Griffin confused “what do you mean ‘feeling you get from others’?”
As I sat next to her I saw the snake she was playing looking at me, I remembered something I always wanted to do. I reach out for the snake and softly pet the snake on the head earning me a cute little smile from the snake. Without thinking I picked the snake up and started to nuzzle it while saying “where did you find such a cute snake”
Chrysalis was thrown off guard by my reaction to the snake she looks at me shocked before she shakes her head to clear it and said “her name is Slithers I raised her since I was given her egg as a gift from Fluttershy”
I stop nuzzling the snake to look at her “really that was nice of her. But what type of snake is she?”
“If I remember correctly Fluttershy said she is a Black racer”
Griffin smiles. “Sweet! Those are my favorite kind.”
Chrysalis cutely smiles. “Really? Mine too!”
“Ya know there was this thing my sister would to me. One time she transformed himself into a snake, and he knows how I love snakes. So I picked it up to admire it, and she transformed back into herself and went like, “BLEAGH! It’s me!” And she stabbed me.
“There’s one thing I always love to do to them.” He pokes the snake on the nose, causing the snake to giggle cutely. Somehow. I don't know how snakes CAN giggle.
When all else fails...boop the snoot.
Griffin decides to try something and hoops Chrysalis’s snoot, causing her to jerk back. Griffin gets a worried look. “Did I do something wrong?” He asks.
Chrysalis sighs. “Um, I-I only ever let Luminous poke me like that.”
DON’T BOOP HERS. YOU’VE ONLY KNOWN HER FOR A FEW HOURS.
Griffin’s eyes dilate in fear at the warning, as he remembers the last time he did something to piss Luminous off.
Flashback
GRIFFIN SCREAMING IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN
Flashback end
Griffin shakenly said “You have to have a word with him Chrissy he is going to end up killing me if he keeps that shit up”
Chrysalis gives him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry about him. He’s been through more than you know.”
Griffin raises a curious eyebrow. “Explain.”
Before Chrysalis could explain they heard someone behind them say “I believe I can explain”
As the pair turned around they saw Celestia standing there with a sad look
Griffin narrows his eyes. “Were you spying on us?”
Celestia is taken aback. “What?! NO!”
“Yes you were.” They all turn to the right to see Luminous Skies and Luna walking towards them.
Celestia blushes slightly. “Okay, maybe I was.”
“You have to forgive her. She tends to show up when it’s least convenient, but is never around when we actually need her.” Luminous says.
Griffin wanted to know why she was spying on him he asks “Tell me why the fuck you were spying on us”
Celestia sighs. “I overheard you talking about how-”
Griffin annoyed after hearing cut her off “well-done numbnuts you just made the list of people to never trust”
After hearing this Celestia visibly flinched back but before she could say anything Griffin spoke up again “now tell me why you really came out here and not some bullshit reason you just came up with because that’s the easiest way to get on my your dead to me list”
Luminous puts a hand on Griffin’s shoulder. “Watch yourself.”
“Fuck off dude! I don’t deal well with people spying on me, or when someone won’t even tell you WHY they are doing it IF they get caught!”
Luminous pats his shoulder. “Ok, I’m with you there.” He looks to Celestia. “What gives?”
Not expecting Luminous to agree with Griffin Celestia was stunned and stuttered out a response. “W-What?”
“u U U U u U did I motherfucking stutter you BITCH?” Luminous says with a raised eyebrow.
“Shit! Okay that was a good one.” Griffin says and high-fives Luminous.
Griffin just looked to Celestia with an unsure look and said, “If you want me to trust you. You have to be fucking honest to a fault with me its the only way”
Confused by hearing this Chrysalis spoke up “what do you mean”
Looking at her with a soft look Griffin explains “I’m unable to understand social cues or the emotions someone should feel at a given moment”
Luminous kneels in front of him and puts both hands on Griffin’s shoulders. “Life has been a total cunt-muffin to you, hasn’t it?”
Griffin chuckles at hearing cunt-muffin “dude you have no fucking clue what it's like living in that wasteland”
Before the topic was completely forgotten Luminous spoke up and said “Celestia why where you really out here”
Celestia sighed seeing no way out of it now she said “when I saw Griffin's horn I remembered someone from when I was a foal with the exact same horn I had to see if he was the same pony from back then”
Luminous looks confused. “Wait, you told me about that pony. You said he had family ties to me, right?”
“Yes, you’re correct” Celestia simply stated
Griffin then spoke up sounding bored “So Princess Sunny D what did your spying tell you”
Celestia points to Luminous. “You’re his brother.”
“Excuse me, what the FUCK?!” Luminous yells.
Griffin just looks at Luminous before saying “fuck that noise mate I ain’t got a family”
Without missing a beat Celestia said “you do”
“Oh if that's the case explain it to us then you overpraised statue,” Griffin said with a look of disbelief.
“I’m with Grif, start talkin’!” Luminous says with his arms crossed.
“I think we should wait till we are with our sisters,” Celestia said
Griffin and Luminous were getting annoyed say in unison. “Why the fuck should we wait for them I’m fucking sick of you pussyfooting around this just fucking tell us already and you can go tell your sisters after I have heard whatever you have to say”
Griffin and Luminous look at each other in shock. They then grin at each other. “My man. Up top!” They say in unison again and high-five each other.
Celestia just sighs and says “because it involves them as well”
Griffin just huffed before saying “what are you gonna say we were engaged to you and your sisters?” Luminous chuckles at that.
Celestia just nods.
Luminous and Griffin look at each other, then back to Celestia. Then they just burst into laughter.
“Good one, Tia! What’s next is you’re gonna tell us that Griffin is engaged to you and Daybreaker,”
“And Luminous over here is engaged to Luna and Nightmare Moon!”
Celestia nods again.
Luminous and Griffin go silent. Before laughing even harder. They then walk away still laughing.
“Come on ‘bro’! Drinks are on me!” Luminous says.
Griffin grins. “I’ll get the weed!”
Luminous pulls out two big bags of weed with his hands, and his wings pull out some paper and roll up some of the weed into two big blunts. He hands one to Griffin and puts one in his own mouth. “No need!”
Griffin gets out a light from his pocket and lights both blunts. “My man!” Griffin says.
After taking a couple of hits Griffin spoke up “Celestia that’s as believable as the Queen of England is an immortal being who can shape-shift whos also part of the Illuminati”
Luminous laughs. “Tell me about it! With that woman ever die?!”
Taking another hit Griffin said “dude I don’t think so at this point she’s well over 110 years old now and still looks like shes 69”
Luminous gives Griffin a grin. “Did you just…”
“What can I say? I like a woman who has a little...experience if you know what I mean.”
“You’re telling me you would rut the queen?!”
“Maybe maybe not who can really say when you only hear about someone and never meet them”
“I’m sorry dude, but rutting a 93-year-old is fucking weird if you’re only 22.”
“Not really dawg I know stories worse than that would you like to know some” Griffin says with a sinister grin.
“Oh, hells yeah!” Luminous said, matching Griffin's sinister grin. “And I’ll tell you some of my own along the way.”
“Alright I will list of a couple for you” Griffin took a second to remember some stories “well there is this one story I showed it was a man fucking a live chicken or how about the guy who had sex with his own mother or sister not sure which one but got them pregnant and then found out about it after they had the baby or how about this one guy who took a corpse who he fell in love with to his house and slept with her in his bed every night till he died and even ever a part of her was too rotten he would just take another piece from another body”
Now everyone looked at Griffin with both a look of shock and disgust. Luminous just blinked before saying. “Well you know what they say…”
“INCEST IS WINCEST!!”
Now everyone just looked at Griffin confused at what he had just shouted out, and the sisters had just caught up with the two. They just start walking with them, Luminous and Griffin don’t seem to care.
After a couple of seconds of confused silence, Luminous broke out into a fit of laughter before saying “dude what the fuck where did that come from”
Griffin chuckled before saying “well think about it if what she said is true there is gonna be incest one way or the other”
Confused Chrysalis asks “what do you mean Griffin”
Griffin took another hit before saying “well if I and lu are brothers let's say he marries luna first that would technically make me the rest of her sister's brother which would end up meaning I would end up marrying my own step-sister that’s if I even want to get married”
After Celestia heard the last part of what Griffin was saying she had a look of someone who had just had their heartbroken
After Luminous heard what Griffin said and how Celestia reacted he attempted to hit him only for Griffin to collapse into a pile of shadows before anyone could freak out he had come out of Celestia's shadow when Griffin had appeared he had a look of confusion and was looking around trying to figure out what had just happened to him.
While everyone was confused, Luminous just smiled. “I knew it. Just wanted to make sure.”
“Wait, what the hell do you mean?” Griffin asks.
Suddenly Luminous collapses into shadows and appears out of Luna’s shadow.
“It means that what Tia has told us is true” Luminous said with a slight cocky tone
“Fuck sake dude you ain’t making a lick of sense,” Griffin said starting to sound annoyed
“I mean she’s right about one thing. We have to be related.”
“What makes you say that hmm,” Griffin asks hanging from under Celestia’s wings
“Well, both of us are obviously able to harness The Shadows at will, and that is something you’re born with.” Luminous answers while hanging from under Luna’s wings.
“Dude what makes you think you can’t learn to harness shadows I have seen people do it before granted not to this level but what do I know coming from that place with no real magic… well thats if you don’t count radiation as a form of magic”
“Grif, you’re making no sense.”
“Well think about it for a second magic changes the world around you for good or bad so does radiation it also changes the world around it but before we try and understand my train of thoughts I think we should get back onto the topic at hand”
“Yes we should. What I’m saying is that you don’t just GET the ability to harness The Shadows in Equestria. It’s something that comes with birth. And nobody has ever been able to harness The Shadows for the last few millennia. And since we are the only ones who can, we have to be related.”
“Do you know how stupid you sound right now that’s like saying I am related to wolfs because my teeth are like that of a wolfs”
“Do you have any better explanations?”
Griffin opens his mouth, only to close it again. “Good point.”
As Griffin hung from Celestia’s wings he heard her giggle. Looking over to her, he said “What are you laughing at poppet?”
“Wings. A Pegasus or alicorn’s most sensitive body part.” Luminous says.
“That is so fucking stupid it’s like me talking around with my dick out it's stupid and rather crazy to do,” Griffin said not having a clue what he was saying.
“Listen just give her wings a little squeeze.” Luminous says with a mischievous grin.
“nope, “ Griffin said with his head extending to a hard hat that appeared out of nowhere.
Luminous shrugs. “Suit yourself.” Luminous begins to take his leave. “If you need me, I’ll be freerunning on the rooftops.”
“Yo dawg wait up for me I just gotta grab something from one of my boxes” running off to his room Griffin was followed by Luminous
“Griff what the fuck are we getting from your room,” Luminous asked sound nothing sort of confusion
“I’m getting my gear dude plus a change of clothes”
Luminous stopped outside of a room and shouted to Griffin “yo Griff where you running off too this is your room here”
Sliding to a stop Griffin spun around and ran towards the door only to slam face-first into the solid oak door.
“You forgot to open it.” Luminous said with a chuckle as he opens the door to Griffin’s room.
“Dammit, I knew that.”
“No you didn’t.”
“Just wait here.” Running into his room; Griffin starts going through the boxes until he found the box that held his skateboard, sunglasses and his black fingerless glove after finding them, he moved to the next box to change his clothes into a pair of black shorts and a black t-shirt with a skull dripping blood from its teeth.
Luminous raises his eyebrow. “You come prepared, don’t you?”
“Not really just somethings I like taking with me when I have to leave home for a long period of time”
“Oh, I see.” Luminous says in understanding.
“So where are we going?” Griffin asked as he hooked his skateboard on to his back
“Somewhere where you don’t need your skateboard.” Luminous walks outside the main entrance to the castle and jumps onto one of the houses.
Griffin followed after Luminous and shouted “FUCK YOU MAN you don’t know that”
Luminous laughs. “We’re jumping across rooftops!”
Griffin shot back with “So doesn't mean I won’t find time to use it”
Luminous shrugs. “Suit yourself. Are you coming up or what?”
“Yeah I’m coming up”
As they were running across the rooftops Griffin looked over to Luminous before asking “So what’s your thoughts on what Celestia said to us?”
This question causes the teenager to stop in his tracks, along with Griffin. “Well, aside from when you and I first met, it’s clear that we get along very well. So I’m not sure about the whole brother thing, but I think I can do with being your friend. What do you say?”
Griffin shrugs and said “Fine, just don’t expect me to just be using that word it’s not for me”
“Bingo bongo!” Luminous said with a smile, reminding Griffin that this almost eight-foot-tall tank was still only nineteen years old.
“So what should we do when we get back to them?” Griffin asked scratching his chin
“I think we should at least hear them out before we jump to conclusions.” Luminous suggests. “And look on the bright side! If we really DO end up hooking up with the sisters, they ain’t the bad lookin’!” Luminous says with a grin. “Yet I’ll have to talk to the others if that’s the case.”
“What others?” Griffin asked confusion written all over his face.
Luminous gasps excitedly. “Oh, that’s right! You didn’t meet my marefriends yet!”
“Dude one what the fuck are marefriends and B) what the fuck do you mean speak fucking english”
“Okay, why are you cursing just for the hell of it, one. And two, in your world, marefriend means girlfriend.” Luminous explains.
“Firstly I fucking curse because it's how I fucking talk and two that sounds so fucking retarded who the fuck came up with the stupid fucking name”
“Have you ever realized that I’m a FUCKING HORSE? This is a universe where we’re all animals. And I just so happen to be a horse, so we talk accordingly. Woman=Mare, Man=Stallion, Leg=Hoof, etc.” Luminous explains once more.
“It's still fucking retarded I’m just gonna stick to fucking Scouse, thank you very much.”
Luminous smirks. “Well to us, the way you talk sounds retarded. There is no winning here!”
“Fuck off! I know how retarded it sounds! It’s coz I pick up and use words from other countries.”
Luminous sighs. “This is a dumbass argument we’re having, huh?”
Griffin shrugged and said, “Not really, I have had worse with myself before”
Luminous chuckles. “Same here. Come on. I’ll show you the others!” Luminous creates another purple light platform and hops on. “Are you coming on, or what?”
“Nah dude I’m good fuck flying it’s for bitches”
Luminous grabs him and places him on the platform. “I wasn’t asking.” Luminous takes off towards his home, with Griffin frantically holding on, screaming for his life.
Luminous laughs. “So THAT’S why you don’t like flying! Aw, is my wittle bwudder afraid of heights?”
Griffin glares death at Luminous. “First of all, if you tell ANYONE about my altophobia, I will slaughter you. And second of all, I’m 22 and that makes me three years older than you!”
Luminous giggles. “Yeah, I guess you’re right!”
“Why the fuck did you even drag me to this dump when I said no”
“Well, how else are we gonna get to my house?”
“By not fucking going”
Luminous ignores Griffin and looks up. “Well, we’re here!”
Griffin looks up and he sees a huge mansion atop of a floating island. “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”
Luminous smirks. “That’s my home!”
“It looks like shit”
Luminous feelings are actually hurt this time. “W-What?”
“Dude I have legit seen better buildings and they were nothing but blown-out shells of there former glory”
Luminous looks away to hide his tears. “O-Okay then. W-Well I built this thing myself, b-but it doesn’t matter now, does it.” The light platform makes a sharp turn back towards Canterlot.
“Well maybe next fucking time DON’T FUCKING DRAG ME SOMEWHERE I DON’T WANT TO GO YOU LITTLE SHIT” Griffin then looks over to Luminous and sighs “fuck sake man grow a pair your not a child anymore THINK about what you are doing your not some almighty fuck stain who can’t be touched”
Luminous chuckles, but it is clear that there is no humor behind it. “You don’t think I know that? When you get your wings torn out from your sockets, when you get your eyes gouged out, when you get your heart emotionally and literally ripped from your chest, when you actually FUCKING DIE, you tend to realize that. Look I know that you’ve been through some shit, and because of that you lost most of your emotion. But for me it was the other way around and I don’t know why. But hey, I’m just a mistake aren’t I? At least that’s what my old man said after leaving me to die.”
“Well lucky fucking you all I’m going to say is that at least you had someone before I was left with nothing and rejected by everything even death doesn't want me”
“My old man left me right after I was born, AND death rejected me too. So I know how you feel.”
“Well at least you had someone, I had nothing from the get-go now lets fucking move on I’m getting fucking bored”
Luminous just ignores him. His breathing just gets heavier and he clenches his fists.
“Hey! Are you even listening to me?”
Luminous’s fur begins to darken, and his eyes begin to pale.
Griffin frowns. “I MAY have went a little too far.”
Luminous just utters a few words before his fur and mane go pure black and his eyes turn pure white.
“You might want to start runnin’.”
Griffin looks around, and he realizes that he is still in the air on the platform. “Oh shit. There’s nowhere to go!”
“EXACTLY.”
Luminous lunges towards Griffin, and Griffin screams in fear as he falls off the platform, plummeting down to the ground far below.
After thirty seconds of falling and screaming, something grabs Griffin, he opens his eyes to find a normal Luminous carrying him with a smug grin.
Luminous puts him down on the ground. “You honestly thought you hurt my feelings when you insulted my house? It may not look like your definition of a good house, but I made that with my bare hands so I’m proud of that mansion!” Luminous says with a laugh.
“While I respect the fact that you made the house yourself, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”
“I’m a teenager, remember? And as a potential baby brother, I gotta do what I gotta do!” Luminous says with an innocent smile that only a little brother could pull off.
Griffin just sighs and closes his eyes. “I can’t be mad at you.” ‘Can’t tell him I’m lying about that can’t be arsed dealing with someone crying’
“Anyways,” Luminous pulls out two big blunts. “Wanna hit it?”
Griffin grins and takes a blunt and lights it. “Now you’re speaking my language!”
As the two where smoking Luminous heard the sound of someone approaching. Both of them turn around to find all five sisters and the Mane 6.
Griffin turns to Luminous. “Nope.”
Luminous turns to Griffin. “Nope.”
“FUCK THIS SHIT I’M OUT” Griffin shouted as he hopped onto his skateboard and rode away.
“I don’t know what the fuck just happened, but I don’t really care.” Luminous gets on his hoverboard and follows Griffin. “Imma get the fuck up outta here!”
As the pair rode off the mares where left baffled at what had just happened and who that other stallion was.
Tales of a Stoner: Getting Luminous with high
Chapter 3 Brothers in Arms
While they were riding through the streets avoiding the eleven mares waiting for them, Griffin notices what Luminous is riding on. “Holy crap, is that an actual hoverboard?!”
Luminous nods. “Yup. Want one?”
“Is that a rhetorical question?! Gimme!” Luminous pulls another hoverboard out of his tail and chucks it at Griffin. He throws his skateboard onto Luminous’s tail and gets on the hoverboard.
As Griffin got onto the board he felt a wave of nostalgia hit him.
Luminous chuckles. “I know that look, what nostalgia hit you this time?”
“This just reminds me of dipshits that tried to make their own hoverboards watching them test them out was fucking hilarious.”
Luminous laughs. “You’ve seen that shit happen too?!”
Griffin chuckles out “yeah by far the funniest moment was when they ended up blowing up their base body parts raining down all over the place”
Luminous chuckles. “Talk about a backfire!”
“Aye and got a cool keepsake from it”
Just as Luminous opened his mouth to speak, Griffin shot down the street on his new board. As he rode through the hallways, Tony Hawk pro skater superman started to play. To the beat of the music Griffin was pulling off tricks to avoid hitting anyone.
As Griffin was about to turn a corner he was hit and knocked to the ground by a flying flower pot looking to were it came from he saw a white unicorn with blonde hair looking triumphantly.
Standing up Griffin rushed over to the stallion and shouted in his face “WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION”
Trying to look and sound brave the stallion shouted “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM. I AM PRINCE BLU”
He was cut off by Griffin grabbing him by the throat and lifting him up into the air as blue hung there as he struggled for air. Luminous finally catches up with him and sees what’s going on.
Luminous grabs Griffin’s arm and pulls it off Blueblood’s neck, as Luminous looked into Griffin’s face he saw something in Griffin’s that he thought he would never see again in all the years he has lived he has only seen this face a handful of times and that was when he was very young.
—————————————————————
Over two thousand years ago…
“COME OVER HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU FUCKTARDS!” A white unicorn colt shouted with tears in his eyes.
“Calm down Griffin, you gotta calm down.” Said a green pegasus colt, with hands-on the unicorn colt’s shoulders.
Not taking his eyes off of the young drake standing in front of him Griffin said in a slightly calmer tone “dude how do you expect me to calm down when this little shit tried to take my pet snakes you know how much they mean to me” without waiting for a response Griffin lunged forwards swinging his hellhound claw dagger at the drakes torso only cutting deep enough to break the skin and draw a trickle of blood because the drake was pushed back by the green pegasus colt.
Snapping his head towards the colt Griffin shouted “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING LUMINOUS YOU KNOW WHAT THEY MEAN TO ME SO WHY ARE YOU HELPING HIM”
Walking closer to Griffin, Luminous spoke in a low understanding tone “I know what they mean to you but that doesn’t mean you should go and kill him”
With an icy tone Griffin looking Luminous dead in the and said “I wasn’t going to kill him I was only going to make sure he wouldn’t be able to try and do it again”
With a worried look, Luminous was frantically trying to calm his brother down the young drake was trying to back away. But Luminous suddenly grabbed the young dragon’s arm with his wing. Luminous turns around and gives the drake a death glare.
“I never said you were off the hook. I just said we weren’t going to kill you, that doesn’t mean you ain’t gonna feel any pain. You made my brother cry, and no one messes with the ones I love!”
While Luminous was talking, Griffin was giving the dragon a smug grin because he knew he could always vaunt on his little brother to take his side.
The drake desperately tried to get away, but was unable to move because of Luminous’s grip holding him in place with one look from Griffin the drake was now frantically pulling against the hold Luminous had on his arm the drake now panicking the drake started to pull harder against the hold Luminous had on his arm until he collapsed to the floor with a scream of pain.
Hearing this Luminous looked to the young drake and saw that he had broken the drakes arm by accident. Luminous gaps and puts his hands over his mouth. “O-oh my! Please forgive me! I-I never meant to-” He was unable to finish his sentence because Griffin pulled his brother close to him and covered his eyes, for Luminous wouldn’t want to see what was about to happen.
Seeing this as his chance Griffin lunged at the drake and swung for the drakes arm landing the blow the blade cut through the drakes arm in a clean but messy blow smiling at what he had done Griffin turned around and said a carefree tone “You apologize too much. Come on Luits time to get home”
After stopping the bleeding Luminous ran after his brother with a heavy sigh he turned to look at his brother before saying “Griff was that really necessary?”
Chuckling Griffin turned to his brother and said “well, of course, what did you expect me to do when someone tries to take my snakes from me?”
Luminous sighs with a defeated smile. “Probably the same I would do if anyone took you away from me: remove a limb.”
Griffin gives his brother an extremely rare brotherly-loving smile. “You fucking better.”
“Don’t worry, I always will. Anyways, how did it go with the princess?” Luminous says with a grin.
“Celestia? Well, see for yourself.” With a smirk Griffin lifts the piece of hair covering his cheek to reveal a golden kiss mark.
Knowing of only one fully their age that wears golden lip gloss in Canterlot, Luminous wraps his arms around Griffin with a huge smile and flies into the air, spinning in joy. “Woooooooooo! She likes youuuu!”
Griffin looks away with a small glare. “Lu? What did we say about hugging?”
Luminous looks up at him and hits him with the most adorable puppy dog eyes. “That you would make an exception for me, your baby brother?” Luminous says hopefully.
Sighing Griffin hugged back and said in a soft tone “you’re lucky I care for you just don’t make a habit out of it and knock them dam puppy dog eyes off”
Breaking the hug Luminous ran ahead of his big brother shouting back as he ran “come on bro I’ll race you back”
Shaking his head Griffin ran after his brother with a chuckle he shouted back to Luminous “you know that was a cheap trick starting a race with a head start”
—————————————————————
Present time
Realizing what Griffin was about to do Luminous pulled his brother back and into a side room away from blue blood once inside the room he threw Griffin into the wall with enough force to form a spider web of cracks where his brothers head had hit the wall after letting go Griffin slid down the wall into a heap worried about what he had just done Luminous knelt down and saw that his brother was bleeding without thinking Luminous slung Griffin over his shoulder and broke out into a full sprint towards the throne room where he hoped the sisters would be.
\/ Pov Celestia /\
It was another long day of court with my sisters another noble’s petty problem the noble standing before us today was complaining about how he wants to move a school for the simple reason it was blocking his view of the sunrise as he droned on Luna was getting more aggravated at the noble and was about to snap when the double doors leading into the throne room burst open with a frantic looking Luminous holding Griffin’s unconscious body.
Once he made eye contact with me he rushed over pushing the noble out of his way causing the noble to fall and hit his face-off of the steps leading to our thrones not caring for the noble I rush to meet them as I got closer I saw that Griffin was bleeding without thinking I reached out and snatched Griffin away from his brother and held him close looking to Luminous I spoke with a shaky tone “what happened to him Luminous and please tell me the truth”
After taking a moment to take a breath he spoke in a low almost whisper-like tone “well it started when I gave him a new board and he went to test it out through the castle it was going great until blue balls did something to him I’m not really sure what was happening but when I caught up with him I saw he had blue balls by the throat holding him in the air when I caught up and saw this I rushed over and pulled Griffin off of him but when I looked into his eyes I saw something thing in his eyes I thought I’d never see again I then pulled him into a side room and in a panic I threw him against the all causing him to hit his head and knocked him out when I kneeled I saw that he was bleeding and rushed out to try and find you”
Taking a moment to go through what Luminous has just told me my mind began to race with thoughts about what he could have seen hesitantly I ask “Luminous what did you see to make you do this?”
Taking a moment to reply he asked “do you remember when we were foals and your mother had a meeting with a dragon mother and her one-armed drake?” seeing Celestia nod he carried on “well what happened to that drake was Griffin he snapped after seeing the drake try and take his snakes I tried to stop him but I only helped him I didn’t mean to help him cut the drakes arm off I was only trying to keep them apart but that didn’t really work out since I broke the drakes arm by accident I was holding the drake so he wouldn’t run since that would cause Griffin to chase him and make whatever he had planned to do originally worse” Luminous had tears running down his cheeks at this point “the look in his eyes that day was the same as the ones I saw today I only slammed him into the wall trying to get him down to forget about what happened but I used too much force and this happened”
Shocked what I had just heard I looked down to Griffin’s unconscious body I remembered the time I first saw the change in him
—————————————————————
Luminous’s POV
“SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! What have I done?!” Luminous said to himself with tears in his eyes. “I might have just killed my brother! NO! I’m not going to lose you again.” Luminous chest starts to glow, he picks up Griffin and presses his bleeding head to his chest.
After a few minutes, Griffin opens his eyes. He looks around to see that he was in the castle again. He finally catches on about what happened and jumps away from Luminous’s embrace. “Please tell me that nobody kissed me.”
Before Griffin could do anything else, he was pulled yet into another tight embrace by his little brother. “GRIFF! Thank God you’re alive!”
Griffin looks up at Luminous. “Wait, I DIED?!”
“O-Only for a few minutes.”
“Dam, what happened to me, bro?” Griffin asked hugging Luminous back
Taking a moment to collect himself Luminous pulls back slightly and spoke with a shaky tone “When I banged your head into the wall I-Inmay or may not have accidentally killed you.” Luminous started to tear up again.
Bapping Luminous on the head he pulls him in close and whispers “It’s alright just don’t do it again alright little man”
Luminous sighs with a smile and nods. “I missed you, man.”
“Me too.”
Luminous suddenly picks Griffin up and spins in the air laughing all the while. While most of Griffin had the urge to stop Luminous instantly, a small skull with pink mist and heart engravings in his soul won the inside battle. And Griffin ended up hugging and laughing with the brother he lost over two thousand years ago.
—————————————————————
THIRD PERSON POV
As Celestia watched the brothers who hugged each other get tackled by her sisters as she fell to the ground she let out a light set of giggles.
A small cough draw everyone’s attention to the bottom of the stairs where a guard was standing before anyone could inquire as to why the guard has interrupted this bonding moment Griffin spoke up first “Dude the fuck do you want can’t you see we are in the middle of doing something for fuck sake” He says with an angry glare.
“I agree. Whatever it is, it better be good.” Luminous said.
The guard gulped before speaking. “We have just received word that the gryphons and the Dragons have formed an alliance...a-and they just ordered a full-on attack towards the Crystal Empire.”
—————————————————————
AT THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE, MINUTES BEFORE THE ATTACK
Cadence and her husband shining armour were running throughout the castle getting the guards ready while trying to keep the citizens safe from the upcoming attack throughout the castle and the street guards could be heard marching to the barrier.
From outside the castle, seven figures come from the sky and bust through the door. They were no other than the Royal Brothers and Sisters.
Shining and Cadence noticed them and sighed in relief. “Your highnesses! Thank goodness you’re he-who’s that?” Shining Armor points to Griffin.
Luminous protectively stands in front of Griffin. “Don’t worry, he’s my brother, long story, I’ll tell you after the attack. Just tell us what to do, and we’ll do it.”
Cadence and Shining look at each other, and then shrug. “Uh, okay then. Celestia, Luna, we need you two to somehow lure the dragons and gryphons away from the city. We don’t want them repeating what the Changeling did to this empire. Speaking of which, Chrysalis! Do you think you can persuade Thorax and Phalanx to get the Changelings to aid us in this battle?”
“I’ll do my best.” She says, and Celestia, Luna, and Chrysalis fly out of the castle.
“Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon, once your twins lure the enemy out into the open, you two need to be able to battle the gryphons with the aid of our guards. Can you do that?”
Daybreaker smirks. “Can we?! Come on sis! Let’s show these gryphons who’s boss!” Nightmare Moon and Daybreaker fly out of the castle.
“You lot are fucking boring I’m gonna go and have some fun” Griffin shouts to the group of ponies as he jumps out of the window in the throne room wielding his dual wield his lucky revolvers as he fell to the ground below the ponies in the throne room rushed to the window he had just jump out of and saw Griffin land on his feet with a shudder before he ran off toward the magic shield.
As he broke through the shield Griffin started to whistle the theme song for the A-Team. Griffin then hears someone behind him humming to the same theme. He doesn’t even have to turn around to figure out who it is.
He grins. “I can’t go anywhere without you tagging along, can I?”
“Nope, you’re stuck with me forever.” Luminous says with the same grin.
Shaking his head Griffin spun around and started to run backwards as he spoke to Luminous “why do I feel like this has happened before?”
Chuckling at his brother’s antics Luminous replied with “maybe because something like this happened before”
Doing a backflip Griffin said “really? You will have to tell me about it when we are done here”
Before he could reply to his older brother luminous saw an arrow flying towards his brother “BRO LOO…”
Before he could even finish that sentence he saw his brother spin around on the balls of his feet and catch the arrow in between his teether shocking everyone who was looking at the brother’s without missing a beat Griffin snapped the arrow by clenching his jaw he then fired two round at the gryphon who tried to shoot him hitting the gryphon dead in the eyes.
Luminous walks up to him and gives him a high five. “Shiiiiiiit, Grif! Talk about badass! But save that for the Dragons.” Luminous says and points towards the thousands of dragons now running towards them.
Luminous and Griffin look at each other with smirks. “You ready for this?” Luminous asks.
“You kiddin? I haven’t kicked some ass in ages and I can’t wait to do it again.”
As the brothers ran towards the dragons, Griffin started to sing FALLOUT 4 RAP by JT Music - "Welcome To My Apocalypse"
As the beat for the song kicked in Griffin started to fire his dual revolvers at the dragons blowing holes into to Dragons that were hit by his bullets
“Lookin for me?” Griffin says as the dragons look at him in shock. He charges his horn and uses it to force them all in a line in front of him. The dragons struggled to break free, but to no avail. Pulling out his hand cannon, Griffin let’s one shot loose and it goes through all of the twenty dragons. Scales and all.
—————————————————————
meanwhile in the skies above Griffin, Luminous was soaring through the groups of flying gryphons slicing through them with his bladed wingtips like a hot knife through a banana as he sliced through ten of the gryphons sending wings and feathers flying through the sky with the forces of his attack seeing their comrades get mutilated a commander sent four of their best flyers to try and surprise attacked only to be caught in a barrage of razer like feathers dropping causing the four who tried to sneak up on him to plummet to the ground riddled with Luminous’s feathers.
With a snap of his wings, Luminous shot off towards the gryphon captains catching two of them off guard with his wing’s cutting through there necks while the remaining two leapt into the air with the hopes of surviving only to drop to the ground as luminous sliced their wings off with a single sweep of his wings once they had hit the ground the rest of the gryphons started to back off seeing how they were outmatched by a single pegasus.
Firing another barrage of feathers he took out the remaining gryphons after the gryphons were dealt with he flew down to his brother.
Nightmare deadpans and Daybreaker glares at him from above, for they were only able to take down a few Gryphons before Luminous took out the rest.
Once he landed next to his brother he looked shocked by the brutality Griffin was showing. “Daaaammn, Grif! You goin easy on them?”
“Well, I don’t wanna kick their ass too much.” Griffin starts noticing gryphon corpses falling from the sky. “Come on, Lu! I was expecting more than this from ya.”
“Hey, I was going easy on them too, ya know.”
The brothers turn to see the thousands of Dragons running towards them. Griffin and Luminous with ice cold grins.
“Now the gloves come off!” They say at once.
Griffin brings out a new, more dangerous weapon.(The Jötunn from Destiny 2) And Luminous just cracks his knuckles.
“You ready for this bro it’s about to get messy fast” holding the trigger Griffin charges the weapon before unleashing a huge explosive ball of plasma burning everything that it hits even the dragons resistance to high temperatures and the like stood no match for the heat that would come off of the projectile.
The death screams of the dragons could be heard all the way back at the castle causing the residents to shake in fear at what could cause that sort of noise the screams even caused the rest of the battlefield to stop and star at what Griffin had just unleashed upon the unsuspecting dragons.
Seeing their brothers and sisters melt before their eyes they started to retreat only to be stopped by the explosion of the plasma ball blowing chunks of dragon bone and horns into the surrounding dragons lacerating vital organs.
As the dragons die around them Griffin shouted with a burst of maniacal laughter “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD.”
The Dragons become confused until they hear something from above them.
“SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!” Luminous says, as he slams the ground with both fists, decimating everything around him in a 100 yard radius.
After that first slam, Luminous just starts punching. Every punch he landed, it caused a shockwave taking out the dragons around it. But then he started punching faster, and faster, until Luminous was nothing but a blur. And when he started punching with his wings also, it was all over. Griffin’s Jötunn and Luminous’s limbs ended the dragon attack in less than five minutes.
—————————————————————
Back at the castle
Everyone was gathered in the throne room after the attack. Shining Armor and Cadance were saying something to the royal brothers and sisters. But the royal brothers weren’t listening because they were just talking to each other about the fight.
“Dam lu that has got to be one of the best fights I have had in years” pulling a bong with a bowl packed with weed out of nowhere Griffin took a hit before passing it to Luminous who did the same.
After getting his bong back from Luminous Griffin turned and look at Celestia offering her a hit at first the was hesitant to take it but after Griffin reassured her it would be fine and he would walk her through it she hesitantly took the bong once she had hold of it Griffin started to walk her through how to smoke it without hitting a whitey.
“Whatever you do, don’t cough.” Luminous warns.
Celestia hits it for twenty seconds.
—————————————————————
This would have happened if Shining Armor hadn’t shouted at Griffin and Luminous first.
“WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK YOUR DOING”
Almost dropping his bong Griffin turned to Shining with a scowl “THE FUCK DUDE YOU NEARLY MADE ME DROP MY BONG”
“I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS WHAT YOUR TRYING TO MAKE THE PRINCESS INHALE” Shining armour shouted back at Griffin
“ARE YOU THAT MUCH OF A KISS ASS THAT YOU DIDN’T EVEN SEE ME AND LUMINOUS SMOKE IT GROW UP DUDE” Griffin shouted back in Shinings face
“Shining, calm down!” Cadance shouts.
Inraged Shining took a swing at Griffin only for it to be caught by Luminous he then turned to Shining and whispered “you really don’t want to do that”
“Oh, and why what’s the worst it can do to me?”
Griffin spoke with venom dripping off of every word “It can make your life worse than hell it’s self”
Luminous narrows his eyes. “Did you just call my brother an it?”
“Oh I do believe he did dear brother,” Griffin said while staring daggers at Shining.
“Do you know what I do to ANYONE who talks bad about my family in ANY way? Tell him, Grif.”
Clearing his throat Griffin said in a posh British accent “well from my shaky memory dear brother the last guy lost the use of his limbs for the rest of his life”
Shining scoffs, not believing him for one second. “Let me guess, you broke all of the bones in his limbs.”
Luna shakes her head. “Nope, he ripped out his spine.”
“He WHAT?!” Cadence shouts in shock.
“You WHAT?!” Shining shouts in fear.
“Aye it was a fun time as well,” Griffin said with a dark laugh.
Somehow after the initial fear of hearing this, Shining just gets more angry. “Well, you’re gonna have to pin me down first.” He suddenly kicks Luminous square in the chest, sending Luminous flying through the castle walls.
“Now you fucked up,” Griffin said while swinging for Shinings head with a power fist. Somehow Shining blocked it and punched Griffin straight in the ribs, breaking them. This causes Griffin to scream in pain.
As soon as he does. Shining unknowingly has sealed his fate.
Seeing his brother get his ribs broken Luminous flys straight at Shining armour colliding with him with the forces of a sonic boom breaking every bone in Shinings body.
After making sure Shining wouldn’t be getting up any time soon he rushed over to his brother’s side to try and fix his ribs only to stop upon seeing his bother’s rib fragments sticking out of his chest.
Seeing the state his brother was in he was about to end Shining armour but was restrained by Luna and Nightmare moon as Celestia, Daybreaker and Chrysalis try to heal the damage that was dealt to Griffin.
Luminous looks like he has calmed down. And gets Luna and Nightmare Moon to let go. “He looks at them with a smile. “Don’t worry, I just want to talk to him.”
As he’s walking towards Shining his fists turn black. Nightmare Moon and Luna gasp, knowing what’s about to happen. “Lulu, no!” Luna says.
“Ugh, fine.” Luminous sprints towards his brother, still in pain. “Grif, you a’ight?”
CoughingCoughing up a bit of blood Griffin replied “I’ve been through worse.”
Luminous sighs. “Alright, bro. Hold on.” Luminous puts his hand where Griffin’s wound is and it starts to glow. The bones start moving back into place inside of Griffin’s side and then all of the holes close up. Luminous took his hand off and the wound was completely gone.
“Cheers mate,” Griffin said in a Scottish accent while taking a swig out of a random bottle with three x’s one the label.
Suddenly a rose-coloured aura surrounds Luminous as he gets teleported into another room. Luminous turns around to see Cadance with tears in her eyes.
“Please forgive my husband. It wasn’t his fault. Because something happened during the attack…”
—————————————————————
Back in the main room
Chrysalis was sitting next to Griffin trying to help him but was unsure of what to do so the only thing she could do was rub his back.
After doing this to him for some time she leaned in and nuzzled his neck which caused him to nuzzle her back without realizing it, the princesses gasped at what the pair was doing. At this moment Luminous and Cadance reappeared.
“Guys! You need to come with us right no-WHAT THE HELL?!!” Luminous returns to see his older brother getting intimate with his younger sister.
Looking over to Luminous still dazed Griffin says “yo bro what’s with all the shouting I was comfy there”
The whole time Chrysalis was still by Griffin’s side still holding him tight like a pair of lovers who haven’t seen each other in years. Luminous notices this and speaks up. “Care to explain, little sis ?”
Still holding on to Griffin Crysalis replyed in little more than just a whisper “I don’t know it just feels right to do”
“This is fucking incest!” Luminous shouts.
Luna grins. “You can’t talk, Lulu. The first day you saw Chrysalis you got a hard-on.”
Luminous narrows his eyes at his marefriend. “Say another word and no cuddling for a month.”
“Like the old prophets once said incest is wincest,” said Griffin while hugging Chrysalis
After breaking the hug Griffin looked to Luminous and said in a teasing tone “or are you jealous that she might have feelings for me and not you”
Turning red Luminous just sputtered while everyone laughed at his embarrassment.
Clearing her through after her fit of laughter Cadence spoke up and said “anyway we really should get back to what I and luminous has found and one of the rooms”
Getting over his embarrassment Luminous said “yeah not sure what it is but I have a feeling it’s linked to you bro”
With a look of confusion plastered across his face, Griffin look at Luminous and said: “why do you think it has something to do with me dude?”
Shrugging Luminous did the follow me motion with his hand as he walked out of the room to the one with the item in it.
“And for the record, I’m not jealous! First of all, Chrysalis is my fucking SISTER. And second of all, the only reason my face became red in the first place is because SOMEONE pinched my ass while I wasn’t looking!” Luminous explains, glaring at the obviously guilty Nightmare Moon.
Luminous points to the armor. “Look at that and tell me it isn’t for you.”
Running over to the armour Griffin Inspected it with a look of pure joy once he was done inspecting the amour he turned to the others and said “I thought I lost this back during the war!” ‘the armours was the NCR Ranger combat armour instead of the two-headed bear it was a skull’
Luminous smiles. “Yeah, so did I, but somehow it wound up on this castle. What are the odds?”
Cadence taps Luminous on the shoulder. “That isn’t the only thing we found.” She points to a glowing set of armor with a hooded cape in the back. Luminous squeals and puts a hand over his mouth as he can’t believe what he’s seeing.
“Holy crap! Where have you been?!” Luminous suns over to the armor and immediately puts it on.
“Dude why must your armour be so fucking bright I’m going to end up blind just looking at it” Griffin complains while he puts on a pair of sunglasses.
Luminous deadpans at him. “I control light itself, why wouldn’t it glow??”
“I don’t give a fuck dude tone it down I hate bright lights and colours and that armour has them both” Grumbling Griffin then says in a low tone “it’s starting to fucking hurt”
Luminous hears this and immediately feels bad. “S-Sorry! I’ll just…” Luminous changes the armor to where it looks like this.
Sighing Griffin said “that’s better it’s just my eyes have gotten used to the dullness of the wastes”
Confused Celestia turned to Griffin and asked: “what do you mean by the dullness of the wastes?”
Luminous giggles with a wide smile. “Well why didn’t you say so, bro?” He walks over to Griffin and puts a hand in his hip and points at him. “Close your eyes~”
Reluctantly with a sigh, Griffin shuts his eyes. As Luminous gets closer to his brother, his lips start to glow. Then Luminous leans down and kisses his left eyelid. “Chu~” And then he kisses Griffin’s other eyelid. “Chu~”
Griffin grumbles and opens his eyes. “First of all, sometimes I wonder if you’re gay. Second of all, holy shit! I don’t know what you did, but I can see a whole lot clearer now!”
Turning to Celestia Griffin cleared his throat and began to explain what he meant “well the skies are permanently covered with a thick layer of clouds barely letting in any sunlight most of the time there is a green-tinted mist hell in some parts the mist its self is toxic”
after chuckling, Griffin began to explain the mist “The first time I came across the toxic red mist was when I was out looking for this mysterious casino that was meant to open before everything when to shit”
Pulling a blunt out of his pocket Griffin took a couple drags from it before continuing his tale “I first heard about this mysterious place was when I was eighteen.”
“Eighteen as in three years ago, or as in two thousand years ago? Because I’m about to have a wave of existential crises because I’m just remembering the thousands of years I was alive!” Luminous said pressing his hands to his head.
With a chuckle, Griffin said “well I only remember the twenty-one years I have been living on earth so three years ago for me”
Suddenly everyone hears a lot of commotion happening in the other room. Luminous’s pupils dilate in fear as he realized the Mane 6 have caught up with him and are now probably witnessing Shining Armor on the ground with all of his bones broken. “Oh god I’m fucked!”
In a cold unsettling tone, Luminous heard Twilight from behind him “Yes you are mister! What did you do to my brother?!” Luminous turns to see a pissed off Mane 6.
Luminous without turning said “he started it he nearly killed my brother”
Losing all her steam she turns and looks at Griffin with a confused look before asking “what do you mean nearly killed your brother and who is this”
He claps his hands his hands and explains everything. After explaining everything, Luminous snaps his fingers and Shining Armor is fully healed.
“Come on! You gotta forgive me...please.” Luminous says with a wince.
After discussing it the Mane 6 sigh. “Alright fine.” They say at once, Luminous sighs in relief.
“BUT...on one condition.”
“Anything!” Luminous smiles, but then immediately frowns. “But not that.”
With an evil grin twilight said “yes that”
“Come on Twilight! Guys, you gotta talk her out of this-oh no.” Luminous turned to the rest of the Mane 6 hype fully, but they had on the same evil grin.
“Seriously?! It’s undignified!”
“Grow a pair bro and you make the bed you lie in,” said Griffin not even moving from his place on the ground.
Luminous chuckles nervously. “Funny you should say that, cause I’m about to lose ‘em.” Luminous points at the Mane 6 who are now giving him bedroom eyes, while Twilight holds out a blue flower.
“Is that poison joke?” Chrysalis asks.
Luminous sighs and nods. “Lemme give you a rundown. About two years ago me and the girls were walking through the Everfree Forest when we fell in to poison joke, emphasis on the “joke” part. Twilight’s horn got messed up. Rainbow’s wings were on backwards, Pinkie’s to ge grew to the point that she couldn’t talk, Rarity’s hair turned green, Applejack was tiny, and Fluttershy’s voice sounded like fucking Tim Storms.” He grabs the flower from Twilight’s hand and squeezes it until it forms a liquid. He then moves his hands under his clothing proceeds to rub the liquid all over his skin like lotion. “But for me...well, I got gender bent.”
“And when he is, dam boi he THICC!” Pinkie Pie exclaims.
Author's Note
Stay tuned for the next chapter, where we will find out if incest really is wincest!
Tales of a Stoner: Getting Luminous with high
Chapter 4: Romance and Bromance!
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