Chapters All My Friends Are Heathens
It’s a quiet summer day in the little town of Ponyville. One week since Pinkie Pie took Rainbow Dash, tortured her and baked her into cupcakes. Right now, Pinkie Pie was hopping down the streets of Ponyville, humming a small cheerful tune to herself, as she made her way to Sugarcube Corner, passing the other citizens of the town as she hopped.
Once she arrived to the café, she turned the ‘open/closed’ door sign to ‘closed’ and walked past the counter to a large sugar pink door. With a cheerful smile, Pinkie opened the door and walked down the stairs into the dark basement. The putrid smell of blood and rust from the basement was overwhelmed by the welcoming aroma of baking, sugar and frosting from the kitchen.
Once she made it to the bottom of the stairs, Pinkie Pie flipped a switch that turned on a light over a young, tall, ravenette, Bat Pony mare tied to a vertical operating table, by strong leather straps. The mare groaned, as she opened her green eyes to look around her surroundings.
“Whe- Where am I?” The Bat Pony asked, her voice hoarse from a dry throat.
“Hey, Frostie. About time you woke up.” Pinkie smiled, bouncing on the spot.
The Bat Pony, Obsidian Frost’s ears perked up to the sound of Pinkie’s voice and Snowie looked forward, “Pinkie? What’s going on? Where am I?”
Pinkie waved her light blue hoof, “Oh, that’s easy. You’re here to help me bake cupcakes.”
Obsidian Frost tried to move, only to find out that she was tied up by the leather straps. “How can I help you bake cupcakes, if I’m tied up like this?” She asked.
“So you can’t escape, silly.” Pinkie smiled and walked toward a wall, “Your number was drawn today and it’s your turn to help.” Pinkie’s smile turned dark, as she glanced at the tied up Bat Pony, “After all, blood is thicker than water, they say.”
Obsidian Frost tilted her head in confusion. ‘What is that supposed to mean?’ She thought to herself. As if to answer the green Pony’s confusion, Pinkie Pie pulled down another switch. A bright florescent light expelled the darkness of the room. Obsidian Frost closed her eyes and looked away in recoil of the brightness. Once her eyes adjusted to the light of the room, Obsidian Frost returned her attention to her surroundings. Her confusion melted into horror as her face was drained of all color.
The room was decorated like a party room from a horror show. Tables and chairs made from pony bones with painted skulls resting on the tables. Organs inflated and hung on the walls as decorations. Lungs. Gall bladders. Even intestines hung across the ceiling like streamers. Hung across an empty wall was a large banner, written and decorated with dried blood...
LIFE IS A PARTY!
What really caught Obsidian Frost’s attention was at the corner of the room was Rainbow Dash, only her wings and Cutie Marks were missing and her eyes were sown shut. “R-Rainbow Dash?” Obsidian Frost called, but the pony didn’t respond or move.
Realization hit Obsidian Frost like a lightning bolt. Her eyes welled up with tears and she closed her mouth to swallow the lump in her throat. Suddenly, there was clarity. Everything began to make sense about this whole thing. Why Pinkie Pie’s cupcakes tasted so good in the first place. Where some of the ponies in Ponyville have been reported missing. What happened to Gilda after she left Ponyville. Everything made sense now.
A small giggle escaped Obsidian Frost’s mouth, and gradually grew into a maniacal laughter. This alarmed Pinkie Pie as she turned to the laughing green Pony.
“What’s so funny, Frostie?” Pinkie asked curiously, “Inside joke?”
“No.” Obsidian Frost answered, calmed from the laughter, “All this. Everything finally makes sense in the world. This is madness, Pinkie. And it’s great!”
Pinkie took a step back in shock. Usually Ponies cry and scream for help right about now, but not this one. Obsidian Frost was smiling, laughing and looked like she was having… Fun… Pinkie smiled and started giggling.
“Well. This is new.” Pinkie giggled, “Usually Ponies beg for me to let them go, or start screaming for help.” She looked at Obsidian Frost, “I guess you really are a Pie after all, Snowie.”
Obsidian Frost smiled, and then tilted her head, “Say, Pinkie? Are you hiring?”
Pinkie took a step back, “What?”
“Hiring.” Obsidian Frost repeated, “I want to offer you a proposal. You let me down from here and I’ll help you keep your secret and help you bake other pastries as well. What do you say?”
Pinkie rubbed her chin in thought and glared at the Bat Pony with a raised brow, “How do I know this isn’t a trick and as soon as I let you go, you won’t run to the authorities?”
Obsidian Frost closed her eyes and flapped her light blue hooves and wings to the best of her ability, “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”
Pinkie Pie leaned closer, “Really Pinkie Promise?”
Obsidian Frost nodded, “As Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are my witnesses. I promise, as a member of the Pie family, that I Pinkie Promise that I will keep your secret and will not run to the authorities.”
Pinkie leaned closer to Obsidian Frost. Obsidian Frost was calm and her breathing was regular. To Pinkie Pie’s standards, she was telling the truth. Pinkie gave a small smile and pulled on a nearby lever. The table switched and lowered to a horizontal base. Pinkie walked over and started untying the leather straps on Obsidian Frost’s hooves and waist. Once free to move, Obsidian Frost rolled off the table and stretched and flexed her muscles from the stiffness of being tied up.
“Now that you’re free, what are you going to do?” Pinkie asked.
Obsidian Frost smiled, “Like I promised, help keep your secret and help you bake pastries.”
Pinkie smiled, “Great!” She threw her arms around the ravenette Bat Pony and giggled, “I could never part with my own sister. I can’t wait to get started!”
Obsidian Frost quietly sighed in relief, smiled and wrapped her arms around the Pink Party Pony, relieved that she doesn’t have to die and she has finally found her calling.
“Thank you, Pinkie.”
All My Friends Are Heathens
~Obsidian Frost’s POV.~
It’s a quiet summer’s day in Ponyville. It has been a week since Pinkie Pie drew my number, and tried to turn me into cupcakes. I have to say, if it wasn't for my quick thinking and understanding why Pinkie does what she does, I would have been cupcakes and won't be able to tell you this story. Hehehe.
Anywho, right now, Pinkie Pie was in the Sugar Cube Corner cellar, waiting for our newest playmate to wake up. I was watching over the café, to make sure no one will interrupt Pinkie’s playdate. Apple Bloom, who I found out was into baking as well, was at school.
Everything was quiet, until the doorbell rang, indicating the door was open and someone has entered the café. My ears perked up and I turned to see the customer.
It was a young, grey Pegasus mare with blonde mane and tail. Her distinguishing feature was her golden, walled eyes. And a Cutie Mark of seven bubbles floating in the air. It was Derpy Hooves, but I call her Ditzy Do.
“Hi Ditzy.” I greeted with a friendly smile and a wave, “What can I get for you today?”
“Hi Frostie.” Ditzy smiled back, “Have you got any muffins? I need some for lunch today.”
I frowned, “Sorry, Ditzy. We’re out. We ran out earlier this morning.” Then I assured, “I’ll tell Pinkie Pie and we’ll start baking as soon as possible.”
Ditzy waved her hoof at me, “No need. I can tell Pinkie Pie. Do you know where she is?”
My eyes darted around the café, uncertain and frightened of what to say next. I wanted to tell Ditzy what was going on, but that means I’ll break my Pinkie Promise to my younger bubble gum sister.
I sighed and hung my head low, “She’s in the cellar, but-“
“Thanks, Frostie.” Ditzy smiled, and then opened the sugar pink door to the cellar.
“Ditzy! Wait!” I cried after the grey Pegasus, until my right back hoof caught the rug and forced me to fall into Ditzy.
Suddenly…
~Poof!~
Pinkie Pie’s P.O.V.
I was pacing in the cellar, waiting for our newest playmate to wake up, until I froze to the sound of a loud tumbling and a sudden thud at the bottom of the stairs. I turned to see the dust clear to reveal the intruder to be a tall Pegasus Pony.
She was as tall as Princess Luna. Her fur coat was a greyish green color with light blue hooves, like my hooves. Her wings faded to a white color, and her Cutie Mark was of seven rainbow wisps. Her mane and tail were a dark yellow color and her eyes were heterochromic. She looked like a combination of my sister and a familiar Pegasus.
"Hi Pinkie!" The mare greeted me happily.
I raised a brow at the mysterious mare, “Do I know you?”
The mare raised a brow, “What do you mean? It’s me!” Then she looked her hooves and gasped. Her demeanor changed, as she face-hoofed herself, “I did it again.” She looked at me, “Hold on a second, Pinkie. All will be clear soon.”
With that, the mare took a breath and closed her eyes. Her body began to glow in a white light and her body separated into an Earth Pony and a Pegasus. The light faded to reveal that it was Frostie and Derpy.
Clarity hit me as everything made sense to me. Now I remember! Frost is capable of fusing with other Ponies. I think Twilight Sparkle called it ‘Fusion Magic’.
Obsidian Frost’s P.O.V.
I unfused myself with Ditzy and Pinkie’s eyes widen with clarity, “Oooohhh. That’s what was going on.”
Ditzy smiled and waved, “Hi Pinkie.”
"Hey Derpy," Pinkie smiled back, and then asked, "Did you need something?"
"You weren't up there so I came looking for you!" Ditzy answered, pointing up the stairs, "I wanted to ask if you could make some muffins!"
Pinkie looked at our newest playmate, Candy Mane, to see her stirring. We’re in trouble…
Candy Mane lives up to her name. She is Ponyville’s candy maker and lives just across from Sugar Cube Corner. She is just an average Earth Pony with a honey golden coat with raspberry mane and tail with lighter pink streaks. Like taffy or licorice.
"Well, I was planning on making cupcakes today... But..." Pinkie Pie paused, thinking.
We both knew that Ditzy wasn't stupid, but she wasn't exactly like the other ponies. Due to her walled eyes, she gives off the impression of being a bit mentally challenged, but she was a very sweet Pegasus nonetheless.
Pinkie Pie looked conflicted for a second, then she turned to the grey Pegasus, "Derpy," She smiled her usual bright smile, “Wanna help me make your muffins?"
"Oh yes! Yes!" Ditzy cheered, bouncing up and down.
"Okay!” Pinkie cheered, then turned slightly serious, “But you gotta promise Snowie and I something."
"Anything!" Ditzy replied.
"Don't tell anypony about the secret ingredient." I told the grey Pegasus.
Confused, Ditzy tilted her head, "What's your secret ingredient?"
Then, as if right on cue, Candy Mane became fully conscious, "W... Where am I...?" She asked drearily.
Pinkie Pie led Ditzy to the table, "Well, you see, everypony in Ponyville has a number, and when that number is drawn, I go get the pony." She explained.
Candy Mane struggled against her bindings. I glanced at the candy pony. I could tell she was listening to Pinkie’s and Ditzy’s conversation.
"So everypony has your secret ingredient?" Ditzy asked.
"Yes.” Pinkie nodded, "But we need to get it out of them first! But baking is fun, so we play a little bit before harvesting!"
"Hey, what's going on?" Candy Mane asked loudly, Pinkie and Ditzy looked at her, "Why am I tied up? What do you mean harvesting?!"
Pinkie giggled, unable to contain her excitement, "Candy, today is a special day for you!" She squeaked, Ditzy began to giggle with anticipation, excited about this new event, a small smile grew across my muzzle, "You're gonna help me, Frostie and Derpy make muffins! We were gonna make cupcakes, but Derpy likes muffins better, don't you Derpy?"
"I do! I do!" Ditzy answered, hopping again.
"How can I help if I'm tied up?" Candy Mane asked with an angry expression.
"Oh, that's the most important part!" Pinkie Pie cheered happily, "We need you to stay still!"
Candy Mane started looking around the room, her eyes adjusted to the lights of the room. Pinkie's party decorations were pony innards and hide, the brightly painted pony skulls on shelves and in the center of a table, the ‘LIFE IS A PARTY!’ banner. Then... she noticed the Rainbow Dash mannequin.
"What the hell is going on?!?" Candy screamed, making Ditzy flinch from the volume.
"Pinkie, I don't think she wants to be here," Ditzy told Pinkie, a little shakily.
"But Derpy, her number was pulled." Pinkie replied, "We have to. It'll be fun! Trust me! I've been doing this for a long time.”
I nodded in agreement and added, “And after this we can make your muffins!"
The smile returned to Ditzy's face, "Oh yea! Okay, I'm ready!" Candy Mane began to panic and struggle wildly.
I rubbed my hooves ready to dig into the fun, “Let’s begin.”
"What do we do?" Ditzy asked, ready to learn.
"Well, I like to save the Cutie Marks, so..." Pinkie started, as she pulled a scalpel off of her metal stand, which held her tools, "Watch carefully, Derpy."
Ditzy scooted closer, watching as Pinkie carved a circle around Candy's Cutie Mark of wrapped candy. Candy Mane screamed and cried, trying to break her bindings, but it was no use. Then Pinkie dug the scalpel under the hide to slice it away from the muscle.
"See?" Pinkie held up the patch of hide in front of Ditzy.
"Can I do the next one?" Ditzy asked with a smile.
"Of course!" Pinkie nodded with a delighted smile, "But be careful not to cut yourself, Derpy, and try not to cut the Cutie Mark. We want it to still be nice and pretty."
Ditzy nodded then took the scalpel and held it up to Candy Mane's other flank.
"No, Derpy please, no!" Candy Mane begged, sobbing.
Ditzy shakily pierced Candy's hide and carved a circle around the Cutie Mark. It was messy, but it did the job, though.
Pinkie clapped her hooves, cheering, "You got your first Cutie Mark!" She cheered, "You can keep it if you want!"
"Really? No fooling?" Ditzy asked, smiling broadly.
I nodded, “You bet! It’s yours.”
Ditzy smiled and tucked the Cutie Mark under her wing for safe keeping. Then she asked, "Now what do we do?"
“The best part.” I smiled.
"Frostie’s right. Now we have some fun!" Pinkie nodded, "We can do anything we want to her. What do you think we should do, Derpy?"
Ditzy thought for a moment, and then gave a great hop, "Can we take away her legs?" She asked happily.
Candy Mane wailed again, trying to call for help as tears ran down her face.
"Yes! That's a great idea!" Pinkie Pie smiled and grabbed her hacksaw, which was still stained with blood. Rainbow Dash’s blood, if I’m not mistaken. Pinkie turned to Ditzy, "Hey Derpy, maybe you can answer this. Why do they call it a hacksaw if it doesn't hack?"
"Um..." Ditzy started, nervously shuffling her front hooves, "Maybe... maybe you can also hack with it!"
Pinkie laughed, "I never thought of that! Wanna give it a try?"
Ditzy took the hacksaw and trotted closer to Candy Mane.
"Listen, Derpy..." Candy Mane pleaded, "Killing ponies isn't good! It's bad! Please don't hurt me anymore!"
"But we need the special ingredient or else Pinkie Pie's muffins won't be as tasty!" Ditzy chirped.
She leveled the hacksaw right above Candy's left knee, then pulled back her arm, and swung the saw. It broke the skin just a bit, and Candy Mane screamed again.
"Keep trying, Derpy!" Pinkie Pie encouraged.
Ditzy began to hack at Candy's leg violently with all of her strength. Over the candy pony's screeches, Ditzy was laughing giddily.
I smiled and clapped my hooves. Another Pony has joined the madness. Awesome!
"This is fun!" Ditzy cried. However, when she got to the bone, she couldn't hack anymore, "Pinkie Pie, it won't go through!"
"We might have to actually use the saw part now." Pinkie replied.
"Please stop! Please stop!!" Candy Mane bellowed.
Derpy began sawing through the bone, and Candy Mane gasped and screamed with wide eyes.
"Oh no!" Pinkie frowned, "I think she's about to faint."
Derpy sawed her way through the bone, and the severed leg lay limp, still strapped to the table. Candy Mane was hyperventilating now.
"Here, let me do the other one." I offered.
Derpy handed the hacksaw over to me, and I made quick work of Candy's other leg, sawing just below the knee. Candy Mane looked dizzy as her eyes began to tear up.
"Pinkie, I think she's sleepy." Ditzy noticed.
Pinkie Pie pulled the detached legs from the straps and threw them aside.
"I can fix that!" She smiled, as she jabbed a needle into the left side of Candy Mane’s torso and injected a shot of adrenaline into her. Candy Mane gasped, fully awake, breathing hard and continuing to sob.
"Pinkie, please..." She sobbed weakly.
"Derpy, wanna see what an eyeball feels like?" Pinkie asked. Ditzy nodded excitedly. Pinkie took her scalpel again, along with a spoon, and got closer to Candy Mane's face.
"No, please, NO!" Candy Mane pleaded again.
With another blood curdling scream, Pinkie used the scalpel to cut the membrane that was holding Candy Mane’s right eye in its socket. Pinkie then took the spoon and carefully scooped out the slimy ball, slicing the optic nerve to detach the eye. She brought the bloody eyeball to Ditzy, who nudged it onto her nose, smiling.
"Ew! It's all gooey!" Ditzy giggled, and then asked, "Can I play with the other one?"
"No, we want Candy to see everything until she has to go," Pinkie replied.
"Okay!" Ditzy smiled, dropping the eyeball to the floor, rolling it with her hoof before stomping on it with a cry of joy.
Pinkie Pie took one of her knives and set it in a pot of burning coals that was heating up some nails.
"We're going to heat this knife up." She explained to Ditzy. "And then it will be hot enough to make marks on her hide. Do you like drawing, Derpy?"
"Yea! Yea!" Ditzy cheered, running in a small circle, and then trotted up next to Pinkie. Candy Mane wasn't screaming or struggling anymore, just simply sobbing, her empty eye socket spilling blood infused tears. After a few moments of waiting, Pinkie Pie handed Ditzy the hot knife.
"Careful Ditzy, it's hot!" I warned the playful Pegasus.
"I know exactly what to draw!" Ditzy cried, and touched the tip of the tool to Candy's chest.
Candy Mane tried screaming, but her voice was badly hoarse and cracked that she only managed a small squeak. Ditzy took her time drawing her masterpiece, and even had to reheat the knife a couple times. When she was done, it was an image of two messy stick ponies. One with curly hair, the other with straight hair.
"Aw, are those us?" Pinkie asked.
"Yea!" Ditzy answered, "Because you're both my best-est friends!"
Pinkie's lip trembled, and she hugged Ditzy tightly. Tears welled up in my eyes and I threw my arms around the two ponies. Ditzy really was a sweet Pony.
"Okay Ditsy.” I started, releasing the hug and wiping the tears from my eyes, “I know we haven't played for very long, but I bet you want your muffins, huh?"
"Yea!" Ditzy nodded.
Pinkie handed Ditzy the scalpel once more, and then traced a line on Candy Mane's abdomen with her hoof, showing where to cut.
"You're going to cut her open, but first I'm going to numb her," Pinkie Pie explained, and she gave Candy another shot of clear blue liquid.
After a few minutes, I poked Candy Mane’s side, to check if she was numb. Pinkie gave the okay to Ditzy, who began carefully cutting open Candy Mane's belly. Her hooves were shaky, but she bit her tongue with concentration as she tried to keep the scalpel steady. Candy Mane watched in horror.
"Now what?" Ditzy asked.
"Now, start pulling out whatever squishy thing you see and toss it into this bucket!" Pinkie replied, "I usually try to make jokes to entertain our guest, but you can do whatever you want!"
Ditzy smiled and chose an organ. It was Candy's liver. Ditzy tugged hard, finally managing to rip it away, and then held it up for Candy Mane to see.
"Look, Candy! It's a Lively Liver!" Ditzy smiled, and Pinkie and I giggled. Then Ditzy pulled out one of the kidneys. "Kind Kidney loves to go with Lively Liver to her house and play!" She tossed the two organs into the bucket, "But Sad Stomach is very sad because he never gets invited. But it's okay, because Bad Bladder will go with him to crash the party! Playful Pancreas hears their plan and tries to stop them with the help of Silly Spleen, and they go to warn the others. The Intestine Twins go over too to try and bring peace to them! They don't like fighting. Then Laughing Lungs comes over to see what all the fuss is about! Sad Stomach and Bad Bladder argue with everyone until they get a call from Helpful Heart..." Derpy grabs the still beating heart, but doesn't pull it out yet, "She says, 'Don’t fight! We should all be friends and play nicely together!' And then everyone makes up and has a good time..." She pulled the heart out, and Candy slowly began to fade. "The end!"
Pinkie Pie clapped enthusiastically, "That was great, Derpy!" She cheered.
I nodded, “That was wonderful.”
"Now what?" Ditzy asked
"Now we gotta skin her and pull her bones apart.” Pinkie answered, “It gets a little annoying, but it feels great when we're finally done!"
With that said, Ditzy, Pinkie and I began cutting up the remains of Candy Mane.
*Later That Afternoon, in the Café…*
Pinkie Pie took the tray of freshly baked muffins from the oven and set them on the table in front of Ditzy, myself and Apple Bloom.
"Wow, Ms. Pinkie!" Apple Bloom smiled, taking a warm, fluffy muffin, "These look great!"
We all took a muffin each and began eating them. Ditzy giggled, while I smiled in delight. They were warm, fluffy, full of flavor and very delicious.
"How are they, Derpy?" Pinkie asked.
"They are great! Better than any muffin ever!" Ditzy exclaimed, "Can I help you bake more often?"
"Of course!" Pinkie Pie and I answered with an excited smile.
"Just be sure to keep our special ingredient secret." Apple Bloom told her.
"Okay!" Ditzy nodded, and she helped herself to another muffin.
All My Friends Are Heathens
~Pinkie Pie’s POV.~
It has been another good week at Sugar Cube Corner. Today, Derpy volunteered to play with our new playmate today, while Apple Bloom, Frostie and I prepared the kitchen for our next batch of ingredients.
Everything was fine, until, while playing with the fondant icing, Frostie froze and dropped the icing on the table with a thud. She began to tremble for no apparent reason. The fondant icing impact with the table caught our attention, as Apple Bloom and I turned to the frozen, Bat Pony mare.
“Frostie? What’s wrong?” I asked, worried about my older sister. Frostie didn’t reply.
I narrowed my eyes and leaned closer to my sister. The white parts of her eyes, went black, and her irises turned golden. This has happened before. This indicates that Frostie is seeing from another Pony’s eyes. But… Who has golden eyes?
Frostie blinked, her eyes returning to their normal green color, and she gasped.
“What did you see, Miss. Frost?”Apple Bloom asked.
Before Frostie could answer, a familiar voice wailed from the cellar, "Pinkie Pie!!"
Frostie and I went galloping toward the sugar pink door to the cellar and down the stairs, both pair of eyes wide with worry. Derpy was sitting in a corner, her face in her hooves and her wings wrapped around her. Something was wrong.
~Obsidian Frost’s P.O.V.~
"Derpy!" Pinkie exclaimed, running to the grey Pegasus and kneeling down. Ditzy's crossed golden eyes tried to focus on Pinkie as they swam with tears, "Derpy, what happened?" Pinkie asked.
"I..." Ditzy gasped, sobbing, "I... D-did... It... Wr-wrong...! I m-messed up!!"
Pinkie Pie turned to Ditzy’s playmate, Roseluck, and saw the split in her Cutie Mark. Pinkie smiled and faced Ditzy again, stroking her mane, "It's fine, Derpy!" She cooed, "It's your first time! No one's perfect!"
"B-but I w-wanted to d-do it on m-m-my own this t-time!!" Ditzy cried, digging her face into Pinkie’s chest.
I walked over to the crying Pony and put my hoof over her head, "Tell you what, Ditzy. Pinkie and I will help you today and you can take another shot at it next time." I suggested soothingly, "Is that okay?"
Ditzy looked at me, wiped her eyes and nodded, giving a weak smile. I gave her a gentle smile back.
"Pinkie Pie?! Obsidian Frost?!" Roseluck shouted, getting our attention, "What are you two doing?! Why are you teaching her these things? She doesn't know right from wrong, she's too stupid to know what she's doing!"
Pinkie's expression became mutinous. I lowered my head, so my bangs shadowed over my eyes. I walked over to the tied up flower Pony. With one swift motion, I ripped Roseluck's Cutie Mark all the way off with my teeth. Roseluck shrieked in pain, looking down at her bleeding flank.
I didn’t care if anyone heard her from the cafe. She called Ditzy stupid. Nopony calls my Ditzy stupid!
"Don't you dare call my Ditzy stupid!" I told Roseluck in a low and dark tone.
"Pinkie, she also said I was a... 'Retard,'" Ditzy told Pinkie with an angry pout.
Pinkie Pie gasped, her eyes angry with flames. My body reacted to this blaze of anger and punched Roseluck across the face with my right hoof, giving her a black eye.
"HOW DARE YOU!!" Pinkie bellowed in her high pitched voice. She ran to the bottom of the stairs and called up, "Apple Bloom!! APPLE BLOOM!!!"
The door opened again and the little filly came trotting down.
"What's wrong? What happened?" Apple Bloom asked in an urgent tone.
Pinkie Pie's murderous glare moved to Roseluck. Next to her was the teary eyed Ditzy, looking nervous, unsure if she should stand up.
"Roseluck called Derpy a retard," Pinkie answered in an acid voice.
Apple Bloom gritted her teeth as she slowly approached the trapped Pony, "Well that wasn't very nice..."
"Apple Bloom?!" Roseluck screeched, "You're part of this too?!?"
"Of course I am!" Apple Bloom answered happily, "I've gotta earn my Cutie Mark somehow!" Roseluck started crying, and Apple Bloom took a look at Derpy's tools, "We need to punish you for hurting our sweet Derpy." She chose a small axe and held it up, ready to swing--
"Wait!" Ditzy cried, Pinkie, Apple Bloom and Roseluck looked at her. Ditzy stood up and slowly walked to Apple Bloom, taking the axe from her. She turned to face Roseluck, "I'm going to do this on my own like I said I was."
"D-Derpy!" Roseluck sobbed, as Apple Bloom and Pinkie Pie cheered, I took a step away from Roseluck, "Please, you don't know what you're doing!"
"I know just what I'm doing!" Ditzy screamed, "I may not understand so good, and I may not talk so good, but I do know that I am going to chop you into bits and make you into muffins." She gave an evil grin and narrowed her crossed eyes, "Didn't I tell I love muffins?"
"You're going to kill me!" Roseluck cried, struggling violently.
"Yup." Ditzy smiled, and she swung the axe, chopping off Roseluck’s left arm. Roseluck screamed even more as Apple Bloom rushed forward with a bucket to catch the blood.
"I'M NOT STUPID!"
Ditzy swung again and chopped off Roseluck’s right ear.
"I'M NOT A RETARD!!"
Ditzy threw the axe to the floor, breathing hard and grabbing her scalpel again. She trotted over to Roseluck's other Cutie Mark and managed to carve a neat circle around the rose. Roseluck was breathing heavily, sobbing still, her voice hoarse from screaming.
"Alright, Derpy!" Pinkie Pie cheered, "That was a perfect Cutie Mark cutting!"
Ditzy smiled and nodded, "Thanks Pinkie! I'm glad to do good! I'm not nervish anymore!"
She gave a small dance, her hooves clapping on the cement floor. Then she suddenly slashed a deep cut in Roseluck's chest. It started to bleed freely.
Derpy gasped and covered her mouth, "Oh sorry! I'm so clumsy. Lemme make you better!"
She took a needle and thread and started sewing the wound shut very roughly. Roseluck winced, shaking her head back and forth desperately.
"Oops! Clumsy me! I messed up."
Ditzy cut the wound again, slicing the stitches, then started sewing it back up.
"Oops!"
She repeated this process a few times before just giving up and jabbing the needle right into the gash.
"I just don't know what went wrong!"
"Hey Derpy." Apple Bloom spoke up, "I've got something special for you!"
She held up a large pair of pliers, and Ditzy took them.
"What should I do?" Ditzy asked.
"Whatever you want!" Pinkie answered with a bounce.
A dark smile grew on my face, “I have an idea, Ditzy.” Ditzy turned to me. I walked over to her and whispered something into her ear.
Ditzy's evil grin returned and she nodded. She suddenly forced Roseluck's mouth open, "I wanna play dentist!"
"Derpy..." Roseluck sobbed weakly, "Please..."
Ditzy pulled a lever to rotate the chair to stand vertically. Then she turned away from Roseluck and started kicking her repeatedly with her back hooves. There were cracks as ribs were broken, and large bruises began to form.
"Careful, Derpy," Pinkie spoke up, "We don't want to damage her organs too much!"
"Okie dokie lokie!" Ditzy smiled, and started kicking Roseluck's legs, breaking them in several different places.
Pinkie giggled and turned to Apple Bloom, "I'm so proud of her!" She cheered excitedly, “It's like having a little sister!"
"You sure did teach her good, Pinkie Pie!" Apple Bloom smiled.
Finally, Ditzy ceased her kicking, Roseluck's legs resembling a couple of strangely shaped sticks. Roseluck was still crying, but didn't even bother to scream or plead; she was too weak.
"Pinkie, should I finish up?" Ditzy asked.
"If you feel you've had your fun!" Pinkie replied.
Ditzy fluttered briefly with happiness, and then took her scalpel again. She cut two horizontal lines, one below her ribs, and one above her pelvis. Then she connected them with a vertical cut straight down the middle.
"Don't you want to numb her first?" Apple Bloom asked.
"No," Ditzy answered, opening up Roseluck's abdomen, "I want her to hurt lots. She called me stupid."
"Revenge!" Pinkie sang, "It's best served in muffins!"
Apple Bloom came forward with her bucket and held it up for Ditzy, who started pulling organs out.
"We return to the story of Lively Liver and his friends," Ditzy started her story, pulling out the liver, "Bad Bladder and Sad Stomach form a new plan to make Lively Liver very sad." She pulled out the bladder and stomach, "They want to make Laughing Lungs think that Lively Liver stole her favorite dress! This makes Laughing Lungs not laugh so good, and Lively Liver keeps telling her that he didn't do it! Playful Pancreas knows Lively Liver wouldn't ever do such a bad thing and tries to prove that he is good. And down comes Kind Kidney to tell that Bad Bladder and Sad Stomach do bad, and all the other organs know the truth. Helpful Heart comes over to make happy again, teaching them all about friendship and honesty..." Ditzy dug out the remaining organs, including the heart, and dropped them into the bucket. As Roseluck's head lopped forward, Ditzy finished, "The end!"
"I think we've got everything we need!" Apple Bloom smiled, holding up the bucket.
"No, we still need to skin and debone Roseluck and collect the rest of the meat." Pinkie chirped.
"Oh yea!" Apple Bloom replied.
"Did I do good, Pinkie Pie?" Ditzy asked nervously, bowing her head and putting her ears back.
Pinkie gave her a huge hug, nuzzling her, "You did fantasterific!" She giggled, "I'm making you my new little sister! I love you, Derpy!"
"Yay! I have a sister!" Ditzy cheered, overcome with giddiness.
Ditzy, Apple Bloom and Pinkie Pie turned to me, who still had her head low and haven't said two words to anyone. I walked over to Ditzy. Ditzy braced herself, until I took her by surprise by throwing my arms around her.
I smiled and giggled, "You did awesome, Ditzy. I'm happy that you're part of the family."
Ditzy smiled and wrapped her arms around me, "Thanks, Frostie. You're the best."
"Now let's get to work." Pinkie smiled, holding up a knife, "We gotta make those muffins!”
All My Friends Are Heathens
~Obsidian Frost’s P.O.V.~
Another week, another playmate was chosen from the drawing. And this week, it was my turn to play. I was cheerfully humming Pinkie’s ‘Smile’ song to myself, as I made my way through the streets of Ponyville to Sugar Cube Corner. I trotted past the café, into the kitchen and opened the sugar pink door, descending the stairs to the dark basement. Pinkie Pie was already in the cellar, setting up tools and essentials needed for today's playdate.
Today’s playmate was a young Pegasus stallion strapped to the table, unconscious. His coat was a greyish lavender color with a dark grey mane and tail. His Cutie Mark was of a tri-colored rainbow. Yellow, orange and purple. I trotted over to Pinkie Pie, my hooves clapping upon the concrete.
"Ready, Frostie?" Pinkie asked me. I nodded with an excited smile, "I've got to go see Applejack, but I'll be back by the time you're done. You can handle this, right?"
"I’ll be fine.” I answered, waving my hoof, “You go ahead and have fun, Pinkie.”
With a smile, Pinkie waved and bounced up the stairs, out of the basement. I was feeling confident about this one. I’ve watched Pinkie and Ditzy enough times to know what to do. This isn’t my first playmate either.
I pulled off my legwarmers and set them on the table with the painted pony skulls. Then I started pacing in front of my playmate patiently, waiting for her to wake up.
It was nearly twenty minutes before the stallion regained consciousness. I skipped in front of him, smiling. The Pegasus stallion opened his cyan blue eyes and gasped lightly, looking confused.
"Where am I?" He asked weakly, then looked at me, "Who are you?"
"You don't remember me, Spectrum?" I asked calmly, still smiling. Spectrum stared at me, looking into my hazel eyes.
"I... I do know you… You were that monkey that ran away from Canterlot..." She replied, "You were Sunset Shimmer study partner..."
"Is that all you remember...?" I asked, lightly tilting my head.
Spectrum said nothing. My smile disappeared and I shot away from the Pegasus stallion, my light blue hooves clapping against the concrete floor.
"Maybe this will jog your memory..." I turned to Spectrum and clapped my hooves onto the concrete.
I closed my eyes as a spiritual blue aura enveloped my body and a ghostly image of a younger, human version of myself, with other fillies and colts pointing at the younger me and laughing…
"Monkey Face! Monkey Face! Eleanor’s a Monkey Face!"
Then the image switched to a present time me enjoying a book under a tree, in the Ponyville Park, until a lavender hoof kicked the book and stomped it into a puddle of mud.
“What do you think you’re doing, Mud Pony? These books are for Unicorns only!”
The image vanished into a mist. Spectrum's pupils contracted and he began to struggle against his bindings.
"E-Eleanor!" He exclaimed, "Uh... It's... Nice to see you again..."
I glared at the Pegasus stallion before me, "Spare me your pleasant greetings. I now know what it means to be a ‘Monkey Face’ and a ‘Mud Pony’." I whispered, my heart burning with anger, "Just because I’m an Earth Pony studying with Unicorns doesn’t mean I’m in a lower rank! I'm a Pony just like the rest of you! I even have a Cutie Mark!" I showed my Cutie Mark of a patch of night sky, purple wisps and a crescent moon.
"Okay, okay! I'm sorry I teased you!" Spectrum cried.
"No one is truly sorry.” I whispered, and then my voice grew in anger, “You laughed at me because you thought I couldn’t understand magic. Talking behind my back! You knew Sunset Shimmer was gone and Twilight wouldn’t stick up for me..."
In one swift motion, I grabbed a scalpel and held it up in front of Spectrum's face, the blade about an inch from his nose. Beads of sweat started forming on his forehead as he stared at the weapon. With my back hoof, I grabbed one of my legwarmers from the table.
"See these legwarmers?” I asked, “They’re made of Cutie Marks from Ponies I've made baked goods into. But they’re a bit tight, so I need more..."
I balanced the legwarmers back onto the table again, and began moving my scalpel away from Spectrum's face and toward his right flank.
"No! Ellie, no! Please!" He pleaded.
I rubbed my chin in thought, then shook my head, "No, I don’t think I will stop."
With the scalpel, I carved very slowly around the tri-colored rainbow, as the Pegasus stallion howled in pain. Blood dribbled from the cut and down his leg, staining his coat. Once I was done with the circle, I slowly and carefully peeled the hide away from the muscle. Spectrum was actually shedding tears at this point. I turned to his other flank and did the same thing.
Once I was finished, I wiggled the two Cutie Marks in front of Spectrum's face, "Blank Flank, Blank Flank! Spectrum is a Blank Flank!" I sang.
"Ellie, let me go!" Spectrum sobbed, his body trembling from the pain, "Just... Just let me go and I'll... I'll move far away from Ponyville and won't ever bother you again!"
"I’m afraid I can’t do that, Spectrum.” I answered in a low tone, setting the Cutie Marks on the table. "Your number was drawn, so there’s no going back now.” Then I smirked, “As an ancient proverb says, an eye for an eye.”
"You're actually going to kill me and bake me into pastries?!" Spectrum shouted, not wanting to believe his ears.
"Mm-hmm!" I answered, nodding my head, as I set my scalpel on the metal side table. I took Pinkie Pie's favorite hacksaw and waved it in the air, "Tell me, Spectrum… Are you a good flyer?"
"Y-y-yes..." He whispered.
"Think fast!" I shouted, as I used the hacksaw to saw off his wings. Spectrum screamed like he'd never screamed before, struggling with the pain and clenching his teeth.
I giggled and clapped my hooves. I walked over to the hacksaw and pulled it out of the table, "I wonder what I'll do with your wings. I have no use for them and Ditzy has her own… Maybe Apple Bloom will have some use for them…"
"E…Ellie..." Spectrum gasped, her face soaked in tears.
"My name’s not Eleanor anymore. My name is Obsidian Frostfire Quartz Pie." I replied, examining the table of implements, debating on what to do next.
Spectrum let out a soft, defeated wail, hanging his head. I turned to my right and noticed the hot coals Pinkie had set up, and then nodded with delight.
That’s a good idea!
I took a long, thin, metal rod and set it in the coals to heat up. I rubbed my chin in thought, and then looked around. I needed something to protect my hooves from the hot rod.
I wandered around the basement, looking for something to protect myself from getting burnt. I didn’t notice that Spectrum has lifted his head, watching me. I smiled and grabbed an old dirty cloth from the table. It may be old and dirty, but it’ll do for now.
I returned to the table and set the cloth down, grabbing two metal objects. They were bent at each end so they looked like giant, dull staples. I forced Spectrum's mouth open, and as he tried to wriggle out of my grasp, I shoved the metal objects on either side of the stallion’s mouth, forcing it to stay open. I softly giggled, grabbed a pair of pliers in one hoof, the cloth in the other, and finally retrieved the rod from the hot coals.
Spectrum started whimpering as I grabbed his tongue tightly with the pliers, pulling it out as far as it can go. Then I slowly, with great suspense, brought the hot rod closer and closer...
The Pegasus stallion let out a high pitched scream as the white hot metal came in contact with his tongue, sizzling as it burned the flesh. This made me laugh maniacally, pressing the rod against Spectrum’s tongue as firmly as I could. When I felt it cool down, I threw the rod away and jerked on the pliers hard. With another blood curdling scream, Spectrum had his entire tongue was ripped out. He sobbed, blood flowing from his open mouth.
"You want your mouth shut now?" I asked soothingly.
Spectrum didn't answer, just continued to sob. I gave him a kind smile, taking the metal objects out of his mouth. As I watched Spectrum, I started to feel sorry for the young Pegasus. Spectrum looked up and his eyes met mine, spitting out blood.
Maybe I’m taking this a bit too far. Without her tongue, Spectrum can’t alert the authorities. Maybe I should let her go…. NAH! This is way too much fun!
With a shriek of laughter, I turned and bucked the pot of hot coals at Spectrum. He screamed as each rock collided with his body, leaving scorches in his fur and skin.
I hopped up and down, clapping her hooves with joy, "Great show! Do it again! Do it again!"
I picked up a coal with her teeth, and shoved it into Spectrum’s mouth instead. I blushed, giggling as Spectrum spat the coal out. His entire mouth was practically blackened by the burns. With another giggle, I trotted around the room to let off some excitement, singing the ‘Smile’ song,
‘Cause I love to make you smile, smile, smile.
"Come on, Spectrum! Smile!" I cheered, grinning at my playmate.
Spectrum's puffy eyes started to close very slowly.
"Oh no!" I gasped.
I quickly took a syringe filled with adrenaline and injected it into Spectrum’s side. His eyes burst open, and he gasped, coughing as he inhaled a lot of blood.
I smiled in relief, "There we go! You don't wanna miss the party!"
I trotted to the little table, scanning it over and trying to decide what to use. I frowned at the tools, feeling a little bored of them. I looked around the room, brow furrowed, and ears pulled back. Then I walked over to a large tool box, which Pinkie Pie kept in the basement, and started going through drawers to find something new. Suddenly, I gasped and screamed with a smile, picking something up with my teeth. I ran back to Spectrum with a spool of silver thread.
I set the spool on the table and giggled, as I started unraveling the spool. The thread sparkled in the dim light. This thread was stiffer and shinier than any other thread I’ve seen. That’s right. This isn’t thread. It was twine.
I hummed Pinkie's ‘Smile’ song to myself as I cut four long pieces of twine and laid them carefully on the floor. Once the twine was in place, I explored the vast basement again and managed to find a dusty old yoke in the corner, which I pulled back into my working area.
I began carefully tying all four sections of twine to the yoke. I smiled wide at Spectrum, who watched me with wide eyes an open mouth.
"Don’t worry, Spectrum…” I assured calmly, “We won't have trouble playing with this!"
Once I was done tying the twine to the yoke, I started tying the other ends to Spectrum's limbs. Spectrum groaned in fear, unable to speak clearly without his tongue, and tried to evade my advances. But it was no use. Soon the twine was tied to his upper arms and both his thighs.
Once I was finished tying the twine, I slid the yoke onto my neck and started slowly walking toward the farthest wall from Spectrum. I looked over my shoulder to see him wincing and struggling. I gave a small smile and a sharp tug. There was a shriek of pain from the stallion, which made me giggle.
With a piercing scream of a laugh, I started running as fast as I could. I could feel the twine being pulled taut as a result. Spectrum's blood curdling wails could barely be heard over my laughter as I continued running. The table that Spectrum lay on was firmly bolted to the stone floor, so it stayed perfectly in place.
I felt the twine begin to cut into Spectrum's flesh, blood seeping out at a surprisingly fast rate. He was yelling in pain.
Spectrum's screams became hoarse as his throat burned in pain. Then he suddenly threw up onto his chest. It was mostly blood and bile. He shut his eyes tight, panting and writhing as he heard cracking sounds...
Finally, with one last powerful stomp from me, Spectrum's limbs broke off. I lost my balance and fell into the wall; however I hit my head against the wall and I fell back onto the cold floor, trying to regain my composure. After a minute of being on the floor, I recovered and got back to her hooves. I turned to Spectrum and saw his arms and legs lying on the floor in a puddle of blood. I skipped and bounced with joy, leaping back over to the mute stallion.
I lifted myself to my hind legs and leaned against the table. Spectrum looked at me with tears in his eyes. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips against his burnt lips. Spectrum had no energy to fight back, or scream.
I released the kiss, returned to all-fours and I grabbed a syringe of paralyzing serum.
"This is paralyzing serum, Spectrum." I explained, "It's so you don't feel you don’t feel any pain when I cut you open. Then we can still play while I harvest!"
More tears poured out of Spectrum's eyes, but he had no energy left for screaming or struggling.
I delivered a shot of the paralyzing serum into Spectrum’s right side, and then patiently waited for a few minutes. After about five minutes, I poked Spectrum’s wound, “Does that hurt?” Spectrum shook his head. I smiled and grabbed the scalpel.
I turned and noticed Spectrum’s vomit on his chest. I frowned, put the scalpel on the tray and took a rag to clean up the vomit on Spectrum's chest. Once the area was clear, I took the scalpel once again and sliced him open and began pulling out organs.
"Ditzy usually told stories and Pinkie used to tell jokes." I explained, "I was thinking about doing the same, but I just thought of a song I can sing for you." Spectrum watched as his own innards were pulled from his torso. I started humming and began to sing,
'Here in the garden,
And then she smiled,
Happily waiting,
Happily wondering,
You keep on turning pages for people who don't care,
Finally something,
With the last organ to be thrown into the bucket happened to be Spectrum's heart, which stopped beating in a matter of seconds. Spectrum's eyes remained open, but they were blank and listless, staring into nothing.
I giggled, picking up the bucket, "Thank you, Spectrum. I had fun with you today.”
With that, I carried the bloody bucket up to the kitchen, where Pinkie Pie was waiting. I turned the ‘open/closed’ sign to ‘closed’ and began cutting up the organs in the kitchen, while Pinkie went down into the basement to skin and cut up Spectrum's remains. When she returned to the shop with the meat, she smiled at me.
"Wow!" She exclaimed, "You did a great job, Frostie!"
"Thanks!" I smiled, "I wanted to make it extra special for him because I knew he had a crush on me back in Unicorn school. I owed him a favor..."
I gave Pinkie my creepy Cheshire grin, and Pinkie Pie returned it with a terrifying smile of her own. We started laughing as we used the meat and organs to create baked goods, celebrating a job well done.
