Chapters Chapter 1: Dirty Horse Box
Author's Note
Please leave me comments. I love feedback. This story is solely based on image cover. It just sparked an idea in my head. It may have some clop in it later.
Chapter 1: Dirty Horse Box
He was getting tired of this. You'd think after nine months of this crap that he would be used to it but, no. It was still just as bad as when he got here. Quickening his pace down the busy Ponyville streets. He could see the castle. At least he is a little safer there than on the streets where it could….strike at any time.
This was…Anon. A somewhat normal-looking human male in a blue business suit. Maybe a little doh-y in the middle than some humans and a bit taller. Other than that he was your average Joe. At least on earth that is. Sadly because of a random crystal related portal that may or may not open up again in A THOUSAND YEARS, he was currently stuck in a place called Equestria.
This place was ruled by magical talking multi-colored ponies. Luckily for him, they had been pretty friendly. They got him a job, and one of the princesses of the land even let him stay at her castle rent-free. But, this was also the problem he was having here and that problem stepped right in front of his path as he was walking. He had to slam on the brakes not to crash into the mare that had entered his path.
A yellow furred mare had stepped in front of him. A blush already across her face. A sigh left his lips as he saw it. Those big green eyes staring up at him. She had done up her red rose hair to look nice. She had put effort into how she looked just to interact with him. Which met he couldn't just step past her even if it had been a long day.
"H-hello…Anon. I-it's fancy seeing you here." She muttered out.
"…Well we're in the middle of the street and you kind of stepped out in front of me so…" Looking down at her as he spoke with an expression of "PLEASE CELESTIA KILL ME." on his face.
"Ya….I mean…I just kind of. Ya know…I just wanted to um…" Rubbing her left leg with her hoof as she looked up at him the blush growing larger across her skin.
Arching an eyebrow at her before clearing his throat. "Whelp I better get going Twilight needs me at the castle and you know how she can be." Giving her a nod before quickly sidestepping her.
"Ooo right um….I AM ROSE. Wait…you already knew that. Umm COME BY MY SHOP. I…I have nice flowers." She shouted as Anon's pace went into a sprint walk.
That right there…that was his problem. It seemed in this world a human's scent had…an effect on mares and even some stallions. There were several problems with this in his book. He was pretty sure this was bestiality on his world and Mama raised a good Christian boy…or at very least he had some morals about him. The other problem was…he would enjoy an actual relationship…what these ponies wanted was…well, it wasn't that.
It was everywhere. At the castle, at his job and currently on the freak'n street. He had several close calls. Ranging from his female boss's borderline sexual harassment to Twilight's breaking and entering of his room one night to the point, to where he had to get someone to magic proof the room just to sleep in peace. He had not faltered though. He had not done a single act of…depravity with any pony.
Finally making it to the castle steps without any further issues. He almost smiled…that's when he spotted the purple furred Alicorn standing at the bottom of the steps her tail slightly wagging as he came close. It was almost adorable seeing her greet him with a wagging tail…if he didn't think her mind was currently thinking of ways to make him sleep with her.
"Hey, Anon." She said cheerfully.
"Hey, Twilight…" Muttering this to her not stopping to greet her as he made his way up the steps of the castle to the door.
"Wait! I just…" She shouted Anon stopping in his tracks as he turned around to her.
"Twilight. I am tired. It's been a long day and whatever it is. I have told you. I am NOT interested." Now scowling down at her.
She looked disheartened hanging her head slightly before shaking it. The expression on her face turned to determination. She flickered her long eyelashes at him slowly walking up to him. A blush appeared upon her face as she got closer.
"Hey Anon, can I ask you something?" Her voice softens into a gentle tone.
He arched an eyebrow at her and narrowed his glare allowing her to finish what she was saying.
"You wanna have a little naughty fun? You know, the naughty sweaty kind of fun? Just the two of us." Asking in a tone that almost sounded like it came out of Rarity's mouth.
He was scowling but, that scowl quickly turned to a smile as his brain processed what he was going to do next……
He didn't know how he had pulled this off. All he had done was told her to wait here in front of the steps and then asked her to step into a small metal tub he had gotten from the castle. Now he was holding a hose, spraying her with water. Written on the side of the metal tub was the words. "Dirty Horse Box." He was proud because he had just soaked a god-like being in this world with water with little to no effort.
He was bursting with pride at this moment as he held a drink of water in his hand. This plan had almost been perfect only…his train of thought was derailed by something. A sound was coming from the princess. She was sniffling and crying. These weren't crocodile tears or anything, he found out the difference between the two in this world. Rarity gave him the waterworks every time he dodged her advances.
This was different. She was actually crying. He knew even on another plane of existence if he allowed her to keep crying his mother would phase into this reality to firmly beat him with a shoe. Turning off the hose. He rushed over to her with a towel in hand rubbing her down.
"NO NO. Stop. I am sorry! I took it too far. It has just been a stressful day!" He said rubbing her down her hair and back wiping the tears from her eyes.
"You hate me…and I am a dirty horse." She cried out still sniffling.
"I…I don't hate you…I just…. I just don't think a relationship should be based on sex." Saying this aloud he felt a cold chill down his spine as if a million other versions of himself across the Multiverse all cried out at once in disdain for his very existence.
"R-really?" Asking as he wiped her cheek with a towel.
"Yes. I don't hate you. Please don't cry." Smiling at her.
"T-then….w-what about a date? Just dinner at the castle…just me and you?" Asking sheepishly not looking him in the eye.
There was a long silence as he looked down at her. He had made her cry, humiliated her in front of the castle. He really felt if he said no he was going to be the biggest dick in the world. A sigh escaped him as he looked down at her.
"A date. ONLY a date." Replying to her softly.
Her eyes lit up as she rose her hooves wrapping them around him in pure delight. Great now his suit was wet. Still, she was kind of cute. Petting the top of her head as he then tried to free himself from her grip.
"Twilight let go….TWILIGHT! TWILIGHT!" Struggling to get her off of him.
This was going to be a very LONG…LONG
EXISTENCE. The Silence….
The kind of awkward that comes with a first date minus the small talk. They were just sitting in Twilight's study at a crystal table. Food was in front of them that Anon was just kind of picking at. He tugged at the side of his collar as he cleared his throat looking at her.
She had dolled herself up for this. She was wearing a bit of makeup, she had a flower in her hair. All he had done was taken a shower and put on the same suit he worked in. He couldn't tell if she was trying her hardest to seduce him by looking nice or if she was just trying to look her best for this.
Hell, there was even a lit candle in the middle of the table. Which didn't make much sense given it was midday right now. He guessed she was trying to sell the mood but, he was just put off by it all. This had led to the current conflict in his mind. He felt bad that she went through all of this for him but, at the same time…should he keep this going? He just didn't feel this way about ponies….or maybe it was just he didn't think they felt this way about him. He was still of the mindset that all of this was because of his damn scent.
Looking at Twilight her eyes had turned soft staring at him in awe. Just a ball of joy fluttering her eyelashes at him cutely. He just sighed at the look. Keeping this up was wrong no matter how he split it in his head.
"Listen Twilight I think we should…" Saying this as he sat up from the table.
Her expression turned to worry slamming her hooves on the table. "NO! Please?" Giving him the puppy dog eyes. He sat back down looking confused.
She closed her eyes and let out a few calming breaths. "I know you may not feel the same but, you have done so much for me…and my friends. You helped us through so much, ever since you got here. Your scent didn't affect me much at first but, over time…." She paused looking away as that blush appeared on her face again.
"It started to get worse. I think…it only really affects ponies who gain feelings for you." Saying this as she stood from her seat walking over to him. He was frozen unsure of what to do or even say at this point. He didn't like this that was for sure. He didn't want to crush her feelings but, at the same time. Could he even get over his hang ups and have feelings for a pony?
All that was silenced by her leaning her front hooves against his chest pushing her face upwards towards him. "Just one kiss….just one and then tell me how you feel?" Asking this as she closed her eyes and pushed her lips together.
"FUCCCCCKKKKKKK!" Was the only word that was repeating in his head as she leaned closer to him.
Before he could even utter something to possibly get him out of this. Their lips made contact. He had not kissed anyone in a while. At first, he didn't push back but, her lips were soft. It….felt kind of nice. His old instincts kicked in making his hand rub through the fur on her cheek. A warm feeling in his chest was beginning to swell up.
That warming feeling was quickly dashed by another warm feeling of her tongue invading his mouth. She coiled around his tongue. He tasted her for the first time then. This caused panic and his mind came back to him. He pulled out of the kiss with a pop.
"TWILIGHT. Remember this is just a DATE. TWILIGHT!" Shouting this at her to no avail as he saw her expression.
Her pupils were basically in the shape of hearts and she was panting slightly. He could see a small bit of sweat on her brow and her heart was going a mile a minute. In this moment Anon did something all great men had done before him when faced with a difficult decision regarding a woman…..
He decided to flee. "LOOK OVER THERE STAR SWIRL IS GIVING OUT SIGNED COPIES OF HIS NEW BOOK." Shouting this as he pointed his finger to the right.
This outrageous statement caused her eyes to become normal for a moment looking away from him going. "What?"
As she said this he would dash towards the exit of the room which there was only one. As he heard her body hit the floor with a thud. Thank Celestia for all of Rainbow dash's fitness training and helping Applejack on her farm. It had given him some endurance when it came to physical things. When he got to the door he would kick it open and keep dashing down the long hallway towards the front door.
"WAIT ANON!" He heard Twilight calling out as he heard her hooves pumping behind him.
As he ran he spotted someone he knew. A certain mare who had tried to ruin this world with some time magic. Starlight Glimmer, Twilight's current apprentice. She stopped in her tracks in the hallway waving at Anon not knowing what was going on.
"Umm Hi Anon I was jus…." She was cut off by Anon suddenly stopping beside her.
He wrapped his arms around her legs and picked her up into his chest. "HERE TAKE HER SHE WILL PROBABLY LIKE IT MORE." He shouted in his panic yeeting poor Starlight behind him like a football. He didn't watch what happened as he went back to running after throwing her. All he heard was two yelps and a crashing sound as he kicked open the front door.
After making it outside, he just kept running. Staying on the street was a bad idea so he just looked around. Spotting a building that looked oddly familiar he just dashed inside because the door was slightly open. He closed the door behind him and peered out the window looking out to the street spotting both Twilight and Starlight running past the building he was in.
A sigh of relief came from his lips. He was going to lay low here for a few seconds and then figure something out. His mind was racing. Why did he do that? He felt horrible but…he panicked. She put her tongue down his throat! It wasn’t that bad but, still, it wasn't something she should have done.
What was he going to do now? Maybe Applejack could talk to her for him and maybe he could lay low at her farm. Applejack had been one of the few girls who was at least respectful about his wishes even though she had feelings for him. All of these thoughts were suddenly dashed by a loud THUD.
A sharp pain came from the back of his skull as the room began to spin as he started to fall to the ground. "No Celestia I don't want your frozen peas. I take my coffee black…" Muttering out the madness of his now shaken brain as he rolled over on the floor his vision becoming blurry.
Only seeing the floating frying pan above him and the faint glow of a horn as he faded out of consciousness
Blinking awake he found himself back in the castle….in Twilight's room. She was on the bed dressed in silk lingerie. He didn't know how, but ponies wearing clothing was more sexual than them not wearing clothing. He tried to scramble upwards towards a door but, found the room had no such exit.
"Ooo naughty boy where are you going?" Twilight's tone uttered as he felt his feet leave the ground.
He was covered in a thin veil of magic as she lifted him to the bed. Throwing him down on his back. "TWILIGHT WAIT." He shouted
A hoof met his lips as she stared down at him. He didn't like the look in her eyes which was nothing but, lust. A gulp went down his throat as he found himself bound by magic to the bed. Locking his wrist and ankles in place. As she licked her lips looking down at him.
"We're gonna have some fun. Just me and you." Uttering this out with a girlish giggle.
He was sweating bullets now. He was tugging at the restraints trying to get free from this. "Come on Twilight. We're friends, right? You don't want to force your friends into something they don't like right?" He pleads to her smiling nervously.
"Ooo of course, but this thing down here seems to be enjoying this." Stating this while her hoof gently ran across the front of his pants.
Letting out a scream….he finally woke up from this dream. His eyes opened to a throbbing pain in the back of his head. The first thing he saw was his wrist tied to a bedpost. He tugged on it before turning his head back upwards. What he was met with was a glare, a glare from a white-furred mare with a beautiful mane. It was Rarity glaring down at him with contempt. Currently straddling him seating herself upon his chest.
There was a pause before Anon finally spoke up. "So first question why did you hit me with a frying pan?"
Her eyes narrowed upon him yet decided to answer his question. "Well, you startled me by just coming into my home and slamming my door. I thought you were some kind of ruffian." Answering him with a bit of a tone to her voice.
"Ok….that reasonable I suppose. Now second question….WHY AM I TIED TO YOUR FUCKING BED, AND WHY ARE YOU ON TOP OF ME?" He shouted at her.
She huffed at him turning her nose into the air just barely peering back down at him. "Details darling. Details."
"….I THINK THOSE ARE SOME PRETTY IMPORTANT DETAILS RARITY." He countered
She arched an eyebrow at him. Simply remaining seated upon his chest as she used a bit of magic to pinch his cheek pulling on it.
"OW OW OW! WHY?" He asked. "YOU KNOW GOOD AND WELL WHY! I didn't believe it at first but, after hearing you call her name in your sleep. I think I have the right to be upset." She huffed.
He was baffled by her words. What was he saying in his sleep? That's when it hit him. His eyes widened.
"Ooo no. No NO! You've got the wrong idea Rarity." He explained.
"OOO I THINK I'VE GOT THE RIGHT IDEA MISTER." Stating this while pushing her hoof into his chest and leaning down to his face.
"After turning me down several times. Saying you just couldn't be with a pony. You take Twilight on a dinner date and then kiss her?" Snapping back up still throwing daggers at him with her eyes.
"First off. She kissed me. I didn't kiss her. Second I only did that because…I was kind of a dick to her today. I was just being nice. It wasn't gonna go anywhere! Also how do you know all of this?" Firmly replying to her glare.
"Wasn't gonna go anywhere? So you get the poor girl's hopes up and when she tries to get serious you run off on her? I found this out from Twilight after she came by looking for you with Starlight." Arching an irritated eyebrow his way while explaining this.
"I TOLD HER IT WAS JUST A DATE. SHE TOOK IT TOO FAR. I DIDN'T WANT THE KISS!" He shouted back this time his frustration at the whole thing leaking out.
"Why wouldn't you want to kiss her?" Asking firmly narrowing her stare once more.
"Ooo I don't know Rarity. Why wouldn't I want to kiss a pony? Hm? Oh! MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE WE'RE NOT OF THE SAME SPECIES!" He was getting tired of explaining this to ponies.
She looked dumbfounded by the reply. "That is such a minor detail darling!"
"OH WELL MISS RARITY IF IT SUCH A MINOR DETAIL WHY DON'T YOU DATE SPIKE THEN? HUH?" Turning it back on her with a smile on his face.
"ANON! Spike is a child. He is not even old enough for such things. Maybe if he was I would at least give him a chance, unlike some ponies." Turning her nose at him again.
“WHATEVER, JUST UNDO THIS? I WANT OUT OF HERE.” He shouted at her.
Her ears drooped back against her head. Her horn glowed again as her magic undid his bindings. She then slid off him onto the side of the bed. Looking down at the floor.
Anon rubbed his wrist eyeing her now. He wasn’t going to give into another sad pony. He was tired of all this. She looked back at him.
“I am sorry….I only did that because I thought you’d run off before I could even say anything. I wanted us to talk. I wanted to know why you ran away from Twilight.” She explained. “Still….I am sorry but….” She was cut off.
“But what Rarity? You thought tying me to a bed was a good idea! I thought maybe you’d take a hint after the first few times I rejected you. BUT, AS I CLEARLY SEE NOW. ALL YOU PONIES WANT IS YOUR SICK KICKS.” He shouted at the top of his lungs, his frustration bubbling over at this point.
There was an awkward silence for a moment. Anon just stared at her slightly seeing red. Was she gonna say something? She turned to him. She raised a hoof and slapped him. A popping sound echoed in the room. He held his cheek before whipping back around.
"WHAT IS YOUR…." He was about to finish when he was stopped by her expression.
Tears were flooding down her face. These weren't fake either. They had real emotion to them. Yet again he found himself at the mercy of a maiden's tears.
"Do you really think that is all we want from you? It couldn't possibly be that we actually have feelings for you. Do you hate us that much? Are we that ugly to you?" She cried out almost choking on her words.
He didn't have a reply to that. He could deal with a lot of things but, true emotions weren't something he could counter easily with wit. Over these last nine months. He had gotten to know these girls pretty well. The sting of making them cry was….almost too much to bear. He wanted to hug her but, he felt that could send mixed signals like with Twilight. He wasn't good with words.
Yet he was still upset over it all. Twilight and now Rarity. He didn’t understand these ponies at all. He was a fucking human even if his scent was alluring why were they attracted to him? He just couldn’t wrap his head around it. He couldn’t even get girls to like him in his own world. Why would another species like him? Unless they just wanted something from him. There was another silence. She was about to speak again but, he really didn’t want to hear it.
Luckily he was saved by the bell in a way. There was a pounding at her bedroom door. Thankfully she had locked it. A voice called out from the other side of it.
"Um….Rarity? I don't know what you're doing but, Twilight and Starlight are back. They wanted your help with finding Anon." Rarity's sister, Sweetie Belle stated.
Panic set in once more as those words were uttered. He didn't want to deal with this. These ponies won’t take a hint and he knew they just be sad from what he was gonna say. He was already looking for an exit as he stood up from the bed. He then felt two hooves pushing against his chest.
He stared down at puffy eyes that were pleading with him to stay. "Anon we need to talk about this. Get everything out in the open even if….even if it is painful. For all our sakes" She said looking up at him. She wasn't gonna let him leave without a fight which was kind of a problem for him. He wanted out. He didn’t want talk. He just wanted to be left alone!
Whelp he was hoping lightning was going to strike twice. He pointed to the left of the room before shouting. "LOOK IT'S PHOTO FINISH WANTING A NEW MODEL." He shouted.
Her expression twisted to a blank slate just staring up at him with an arched eyebrow. "Do you really think I am that gullible?" She replied.
He smiled nervously before another wicked idea popped into his head. He would narrow his eyes at her forehead before looking shocked. "O my Celestia, Rarity is that a zit on your forehead." He stated.
She instantly ran over to the closest mirror looking over herself. "WHERE?" She shouted.
At that moment he booked it. He couldn't get out the door so there was only one option left to him. He made it over to her bedroom window slinging it open spotting the tree near it. Then looked down. It wasn't a very high drop but, it was still a bit of a fall. He let out a calming breath before leaping from the window to the tree.
Of course, this attempt ended with him going chest first into a branch. He then proceeded to fall hitting many branches on his way down letting out cries of pain as he did so. He finally landed on the ground at the bottom of the tree with a thud. Luckily he landed in the grass and most of the impact was to his back.
Staring back up at the window. He saw Rarity looking down at him. "ANON WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET BACK HERE." She shouted.
In response, he quickly got up to his feet and started to book it down the road limping as he did so. He wasn't going to do this. He refused to do this. He was going to run from this as long as he could. His mind flashed back to Rarity's words and tears in her eyes. He shook his head. To hell with it why should he care!
Yet in the back of his mind he felt guilt he knew what his mother would say. She tell him to face them and make clear how he felt. He just didn’t want make anyone else sad or break apart the friendship they had built together.
Chapter 4: Giving it a Try.
The sun was beginning to set on yet another day.
Another day of sweating and hard labor. A day Applejack was proud of.
The orange furred mare lifted her leather hat off her head, wiping the sweat from her brow as placed the hat back on her yellow mane. She trotted herself into the barn to put up the equipment for the evening. Then it was on to help make dinner.
She began to throw bales of hay into the corner of the room with few swift kicks. A loud groan came from the corner of the room as the bales landed. The sound was met with a raised eyebrow as she walked over lifting the bale up.
"Anon?" She let out the word in a question as to why the man was laying in her barn hiding behind a bale of hay.
"….Well I ain't gonna tell nobody if you ask me too but, why are you hiding in the barn?" Tilting her head as she asked the question.
A sigh left his lips as he got up from the floor wiping his suit off. He looked just as bad as he felt. Mud was on his shoes and pants. He was covered in sweat and…worst of all his heart was in knots. He seated himself on one of the bales of hay. He put his hands on the side of his head and hung head down simply not wanting to speak.
She seated herself beside him. "Ya know I can't help any thing if I don't know what the problem is…." She announced.
He feels a hoof touch his shoulder as he peaked up at her. A warm smile met his gaze. It just…made him feel worse though.
He hung his head lower letting go of his head. "Rarity…and Twilight. I went on a date with Twilight because I made her cry by taking a joke too far…then she tried to get serious and…I ran. I hid in Rarity's place by mistake. She tried to get emotional with me and I jumped out of a window to avoid it."
A laugh almost came out of her throat. She cleared her throat when he shot her a look. Then silence took the room as the look on her face dropped.
"Anon….can I ask ya something and you just answer me plainly?"
"Sure…Why not?" He replied.
"Why are you so against being with a Pony? I don't mean that to be disrespectful but, I think knowing may help me understand." Her tone was gentle or as gentle as she could sound at least.
"First of all. We aren't the same species. Second off…." He paused looking into her eyes. "What happens if Twilight or the others figure out how to get me home? Then I got to suddenly leave and possibly never come back." The reply was quick….and an easy excuse for him.
"Maybe Ponies are just different from humans then…I know a lot of folks who are with other things than just ponies. Shoot some date Griffins and even Yaks." She commented raising a hoof to his first point. "And let me ask you this….what if they don't find a way for you to get home? What then you just gonna give up on being with anyone?"
He leans back on his hands looking up at the ceiling. Should he just run again? Maybe he could just live in the Everfree forest. Just let the Timber Wolves have a good meal. That thought hit him hard. He was gonna pick getting eaten alive over just talking about his emotions….it was about 50/50 at the moment.
"I don't know…I just…don't know." That's all he could say. He just didn't know anymore. He didn't know what he would do if he was stuck here forever.
"Well then…would be that bad to then maybe….I don't know give some pony a try." She commented.
He went back to starring into those deep green eyes. His brain just said…FUCK IT. He turned to her and just stared at her. She tilted her head a little confused.
"Applejack. I know I turned you down but, would you mine if I…." He couldn't believe what he was about to ask her. "Kissed you?"
A blush swept over her face from the question. She didn't answer just staring at him wide-eyed.
"Is that a no….?" He said arching a brow at her.
"I mean….it ain't n-no but, I just….why you ask'n?" She muttered out.
"You made a good point. I never tried with a pony. I never felt an attraction to them...I wanted to see if maybe. I don't know…see what kiss felt like. I know you and…I do like you. You work harder than any pony I know. You are strong, kind, level-headed…" He expressed.
She looked away from him as tears rolled down her face. "I…I don't think I have the strength to get over you again if you don't…." She was cut off as he wiped her tears with his thumbs cupping her face.
"I…I know I'm asking a lot and…I could end up hurting you again….you don't have to..."
She then leans into his lips pushing against his as he was stunned for a moment but, pushed his against her's. She was warm….at least her lips were. He didn't know what to feel when she pulled back from the kiss. She just stared at him waiting for some kind of reply.
He stared into her eyes again. He didn't know what to feel about it. He just found himself leaning back into the kiss once more pushing deeper into her lips holding onto her face. He ran his fingers through her fur. Warmth is what he felt….that feeling soon spread to the rest of his body…and his heart rate picked up.
The kiss ended after what felt like years to him. She was one that pulled back panting. He released her face. His mind raced for a moment as he stood up from hay bale. He fixed his tie as his face narrowed into a stern expression.
"W-what?" Applejack stated somewhat confused by his actions.
He dashed out of the barn doors before quickly stopping and turning around going back to her. He quickly kissed her cheek. "DON'T WORRY I LIKED THE KISS BUT, I GOT TO GO DO SOMETHING. I WILL BE BACK." He shouted as he dashed out of the barn once again.
"I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO." He shouted at the top of his lungs as he raced past both Big Mac and Apple Bloom who were simply putting a few things away before the night came.
"Um….is he ok?" Apple Bloom questioned her brother as they both watched Anon run away from the farm.
"Nope." Big Mac answered.
Chapter 5: Facing his Problem.
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. 