Gray Rock 2

Gray Rock 2 - Part 3

Discord came by later and was utterly incomprehensible, by accident I mean. He was so angry I'd caused this kind of chaos, without any powers, he couldn't string two syllables together. He finally had to write that as his condemnation of me and my effect. Along with a few insults which I shan't record here, due to their accuracy.

My also written response was 'You're an agent of Chaos, Chaos is my bitch.' He turned me back into a geranium and stormed off. At least this time I was aware, and the effect only lasted until Applejack found me and picked me up. Waking up to a tearful hug from Applejack is an experience worth having.

The guard has been temporarily assigned to the Apples. As a former rock farmer, she could be of use to them and me.

"Uh, so Twilight's spell would work on real ponies?" Applebloom asks from beside her grandmother in her rocking chair. Neither Apple seems willing to release their grip on the other.

"Shake Shale is a real pony. Cut her and she bleeds, tickle her and she laughs, that seems pretty pony to me," I reply, "So yes, Twilight has spells that can simply zap ponies out of existence."

"What's ta keep her from going Sombra?" Granny Smith asks.

I glance at Applejack who seems very interested in her hands and the floor. "Fear of disappointing Princess Celestia, which as I understand it caused a lot of other problems while I was a plant," I say.

Applebloom laughs nervously about that.

"So, nothing really," Big Mac says.

"Actually, this might be a good opportunity to drive the lesson about consequences home," I say, "I suggest you talk to your friends and neighbors, and give her the Zecora treatment. Lock your doors and windows when she walks by. Scream and run away when you see her. Wait until she goes out to visit the library. If she can't understand what others feel, make it personal, very personal, then she'll understand when it affects her."

"Tain't very nice," Applejack says.

"Not being nice is called triage, when you can only fix so many things, you concentrate your effort on what will not make it without help. You set aside what will survive without help and what won't make it no matter how much help is given," I say, "A couple days ago, Twilight and someponies were talking about Mare-Do-Well, so this is the same principle used on Twilight. She might ignore not having ponies talk to her, but being branded Sombra-reborn will penetrate."

The knowing look on Applejack's face indicated I'd lit the fuze.

"They ran from me," Twilight says, "From me."

"Well Sugarcube, I kin bust down their door and hold'em down to force them ya apologize," Applejack suggests.

"Oh, oh, I've got pins of all sizes!" Rarity adds, "Who needs voodoo dolls when you can use them directly."

"I can hit them with a rock," Rainbow says, then glances at the others, "It'll be a big rock."

"Naw," Spike says, "Just say the word, and dragon fire!" He lets out a puff of flame.

Twilight looks at Fluttershy who seems to be in pain. "You guys shouldn't talk like that, you're disturbing me, and Fluttershy."

"Oh, I wasn't disturbed, I was just having that thing after you're with someone special and the world goes all white and then comes back all glowy," Fluttershy says and kisses Twilight on the lips, "I can show you just how to hurt me and make it happen again."

In other news today, the screaming-unicorn, land speed record was broken on a closed course between Sugar Cube Corners and the Golden Oak Library in Ponyville.

Journal Entry - 1A+34

Clear Brook and Balustrade had no trouble convincing Twilight to take lessons in military ethics and responsibilities to civilians, enemy combatants and enemy prisoners. None of it was formal, but there was a body of legal precedent defining it generally.

Revealing that I'd rescued and shipped out of Ponyville the Pinkie clones that were most, I'd say mature but we are taking about Pinkie Pie here, was put on the back burner until Twilight fully appreciates the example she provided. I'm not going to ask why Spike had me help install a door inside the library. A door that doesn't lead anywhere, but Applejack agreed and gave me the day off so door it was.

Sneaky I've gotten used to, subtle and pony always seemed like antonyms. I'll learn what's going on later. Maybe I'll ask Twilight about books on torturing information out of people . . . okay, how is Nightmare part of this, and I don't know about it?

"Okay, I can see you in that tree, come out," I shout to, presumably Rainbow, as I work over the rocks in the farm plot.

Okay, this is new, I think as Twilight descends.

"Rainbow, don't like the look, not your colors at all," I tell Twilight.

"You said your people did bad things," Twilight said, "Like, how bad?"

"There was a guy who got the nickname Vlad the Impaler," I tell her, "And compared to some others, he was a lightweight."

She turns sort of reddish brown. "You think some of the monsters I've fought, didn't deserve to die?"

"Discord's around somewhere, Tirek wasn't you, Nightmare's in here with me, that leaves Sombra and from everything I've heard, he was so completely nuts it may count as a mercy kill, and it was Cadence who struck the blow," I say, "So you haven't killed too many of the big boys." I wait for her to sigh before adding, "That I've heard of. If every changeling was hurled from Canterlot with enough force to send Chrysalis over the horizon, what happened to the changeling who hit something on the way out, or were alone and wounded in a desert? But that's war, there are always casualties. I know Clear Brook and Balustrade have talked to you about this."

"What about when it isn't war?" Twilight asks.

"Ask Zecora how she felt about you accusing her of witchcraft after she warned you about the Poison Joak," I reply, "It was Rainbow who nearly killed me upon arrival."

Twilight breaks down weeping. While I've gotten over my loathing of a lot of the manipulative tricks my household used on me, that one still hits hard. Instead of sympathy, it invokes rage.

"Go turn the rocks," Nightmare orders.

I do, not because she ordered but because it needed doing anyway. I leave Twilight to blubber and just calm myself turning the rocks that need it, and consider it a moral victory when I don't throw any at Twilight.

Journal Entry - 1A+36

A new crisis! Hooray, no more introspection and attempts at personal growth through self-examination. Twilight is saved! I sometimes think this place is conspiring to prevent her from being worthy of Celestia's trust and plans for ascension. After all, as soon as she tries enlightenment, it's all hooves on deck for the storm and focus on survival rather than personal problems. Maybe she's an adrenaline junkie and is only fully functional in a crisis so to feel normal everything has to be a crisis.

What crisis? Why Sunset Shimmer and Equestria Girls, what else? Yeah I know, they're early, but hey shiny CRISIS! Twilight went to talk things over with Celestia and Cadence about what happened, her friends' seeming insanity, and what deliverance from introspection and self-discovery are offered? The mirror opened and Sunset stole the Element of Magic.

The only thing even mildly amusing is how Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are walking on eggshells around me after having it revealed that there was a portal back to a human world, and they never said a word about it, although the fun part is I'm only supposed to know it's a portal, not any specifics. Although human is a stretch for Equestria Girls.

"Are there plans to send a rescue force through to reinforce Twilight and recover valuable Equestrian Property?" I asked. I'm only one of the Ponyville delegation ready, willing and able to charge to Twilight's defense. Who wants to go through High School again? Our response was a blank stare and nervous shuffling from the Diarchs, to Princess Cadence's confusion, since she's almost eager to go herself.

"If you can't send her boon companions and battle buddies, how about Discord?" I offered, "Is there someone else who might be of assistance? Someone who's been on another world?"

While Cadence grinned at me while she and the others nodded, the other pair practically fell over each other to shoot down that suggestion. "It is far too perilous to send you," Celestia said, "Although your willingness to sacrifice yourself is very noble."

The look of abject horror on Cadence's face should be heartbreaking, but it made me want to laugh. Nightmare providing a running commentary on the future alicornic discussions didn't help me keep a straight face.

"Well, Nightmare is curious about the strange emanation from the mirror, and that Princess Luna either never knew or never revealed to Nightmare the details of this portal," I said, "She can confirm that there is some magic, so Twilight won't be helpless, like a victim of Tirek would be. But it's strange, so the Element will have unexpected properties. Equestrians may be seriously altered in mind, body and soul if they are there too long."

"Laying it on a bit thick," Nightmare said, "Aren't you? I only suggested you tell them there's alien magic there."

I ignored Nightmare's carping, noted Cadence urging and pleading at the Diarchs with her eyes, and enjoyed the absolute squirm Princesses Celestia and Luna were going through as Celestia's former apprentice's fate was revealed.

"I'm sure Twilight will be all right," Princess Celestia said.

"You'd better hope not," I replied.

"Wha?!" Celestia said, as she, Cadence and Luna looked horror-stricken at me.

"What dost thou imply?" Princess Luna demanded.

"If she likes it over there too much, a powerful mage like Twilight could set up her own Empire, for Princess Celestia's greater glory of course. With the Element of Magic backing her up, she could establish an Equestrian colony, ruling the people there and teaching them what she knows about Equestrian mores and customs, and may find herself too busy to come back," I said as the trio grow more horrified by the moment as they all too easily fit Sunset Shimmer and Twilight into the mental box I'm drawing, "Well, until and unless something attacked her kingdom and she'd need some powerful help. But she could come back and get your help then, so with Twilight's track record of crises-attraction, she'd probably be back in a week, or a couple of months at most."

I could practically hear the calculations that Sunset's Empire was under heavy attack and her former student stole the Element to reinforce it. Then Twilight jumped right into the melee to rescue it. High School Drama is bad, but not that bad.

"Well, I'm sure there's a lot of people who'll be ready to help Twilight when she comes back, in triumph or tragedy," I said, and we left the trio of wise and noble alicorns squirming like worms on a hot sidewalk.

"Thanks, that was fun," Nightmare admitted, "Although how did you penetrate the veils about the portal? Considering that world is an embodiment of all the things you loathe I thought I'd kept it from you."

After a satisfying session, I told Nightmare, You talk in your sleep.

"Ugh, I must have been having a nightmare to think about the place," she said.

Well, I had a nightmare numerous time before I found out, I replied.

Journal Entry - 1A+46

I've been busy. With Twilight elsewhere, the apple bucking season over, and a desire to stay away from worried/bored Element Bearers, I headed down to Appleoosa to perform the dark magic survey of their lands for the chief. Clear Brook and Balustrade came with.

It was fun, for a distinctly skewed definition of fun. Sweeps and training in equal measure. Sometimes the sweeps discovered nothing. Other times the old history of Equestria came bubbling through.

"I thought that sheep were peaceful farm animals," Clear Brook shouted as she raced ahead.

"Shut up and fly!" Balustrade yelled as ghostly bolt after bolt whizzed by the pair from the host of phantoms pursuing them through the air.

"You suppose we should help them," I asked as the two fleeing pegasi got out of audible range, and the sheep ghost legion ignored me and the two buffalo warriors.

"How?" the brave asked.

"I should have expected that," I lamented.

Both survived that encounter and were much more attentive when I told them to hang back. The illusionary lake, and the restless spirits of a couple of battlefields provided more entertainment.

"The war has been over for fifteen hundred years," Balustrade explained to the faded, marred ghost in moth-eaten finery, "You are free of your oath, the Queen of all Ponies rules now."

"A pegasus?" the high, thin sound parodied a voice.

"She has lovely, powerful wings," Balustrade said, honesty rolling off him in waves, "As do her sister and niece."

The host of pegasi ghosts in ancient panoplies faded in the blazing sun, satisfied they'd done their duty and eager to attain their eternal rest.

"Not a word lad, until we're out of here," the old soldier advised as we strenuously didn't run shrieking across the sandy plains.

yhb 98765` was friendly enough, once we explained that we didn't intend to eat him. But I think I can explain some pony insanity now.

The braves were cowering, trying to blend in with the sand. Balustrade had fainted. If Clear Brook's eyes bugged out and opened wider, they'd pop out of her head as she looked up, and up, and up at the body that towered over us.

I was concentrating on the immense claws that sprouted from the raised leg before us, and considered the absolute forest of comparatively thin, staggeringly long legs running from the ground to the vanishing point that seemed to be stratospheric at least. The effect was of a spider with near infinite legs each tipped with two curved swords.

"Should exception be considered flavorsome again to force hiding upon this one," came from above, from the creature's knees for all I knew.

"Tell him we have no interest in eating him," Nightmare supplied.

How the heck would we chop off a piece and cook it? Those legs seem tiny compared to the body that passed by, but each one's the size of a tree trunk, I thought to Nightmare,

"It obviously remembers being much smaller, and a delicacy," Nightmare said.

You aren't telling me something, I thought, Don't ponies avoid meat?

"And Earth horses don't, think about why that it," Nightmare said, "Use your darkest imagination."

I did, shuddered and realized.

"We aren't going to eat you," I said to the leg before us.

"This can be verified how?" came the voice.

"I haven't eaten them," I indicated the two braves.

"You, that one, have eaten," the voice said, "Inside you, so deny it cannot you make."

"I didn't eat Nightmare, we're just having sex," I replied.

Having a chat with something the size of a small, tectonic plate, that is still deft enough to move without a cataclysm at every step was interesting. It went back to sleep and returned to it's underground dwelling. Returning to the village for the night was unnerving.

What's eating them, I asked Nightmare as the stares of the two braves continued boring into the back of my skull, Am I going to have to sleep with one eye open, or should we just slip away in the night?

"I think you have it backwards, they are afraid and not plotting against you," Nightmare explained, "Not the other way around."

Frightened people can do stupid things, I replied, And if not me then whom? Now I'm talking like yhb 98765`.

"They're afraid of Chief Thunderhooves. They have to report this to him," Nightmare said.

And he'll laugh at them? I asked, Some cultures that value personal honor are like that, no physical wound avoided to prevent a stain on honor or reputation.

"Close," Nightmare said, "It is about courage and great deeds. What they are afraid of is the Chief having to abdicate in your favor."

"What the Fuck!?" rang over the darkening dunes.

Nightmare was bullshitting me. What they were worried about was being believed, and worse, the warrior's trial. They had to come up with a test, which has to actually be a strain for the warrior, of their courage, not necessarily their battle prowess. As either one could easily beat me in a fight. Throwing spears at someone tied to a post and them not flinching is no good test for someone as insanely brave as I am. How they get 'Well, I'm gonna die if I fight anyway might as well talk to the monsters' to fit in courageous escapes me. I'd call it resignation. If it has to be legendarily mystical, I'd call it equanimity with a touch of Nietzscheism. If nothing matters, then why not be audacious?

I am not looking forward to the trial. Those are some confirmed badasses who've seen and done a lot in their lives. Most of them are not as sophisticated as Princess Celestia, but they are still twisted thinkers when they need to be.

Journal Entry - 1A+47

Today's the trial. A game with rules I don't know and objectives I can't easily guess. So I have to figure out the rules while I try not losing in my ignorance. Sometimes I hate my life.

I'm sitting in the shade, facing a handful of elders, also in the shade, and waiting. The day is a little chilly, and promises to be a little warm at the peak, but unless they are testing whether I'll fall asleep, get bored and wander off, have to go pee, laugh myself sick at Balustrade and Clear Brook gnawing their nails to the bone, or get hit by a passing meteor, I have little to worry about from the environment.

It's not even a staring contest, the elders blink, one enters and another leaves, they chat amongst themselves in low tones. The only instructions were to sit and wait the elders' decision. No clue whether their decision started or ended the testing.

"So," a lithe squaw?/filly?/buffalette? sits about two arms' lengths from me and asks, "What's your best story about heroes?"

I hadn't been told to stay silent, so I begin, "They fight battles on the oceans of my world, in open water. They use cannons as big as tree trunks that fire shells that weight as much as a couple of full-grown buffalo. The biggest naval rifle ever put to sea were aboard the Imperial Japanese Naval battleship Yamato, at 80,000 tons she was the largest battleship ever built."

"Despite all that, the Japanese were losing the war. They'd conquered the Philippines," I say as I draw a crude map in the sand. A few other young braves and squaws had wandered over and seated themselves near the first who leaned over my drawing to offer a good look down her top.

Since I'd seen what a cute, little buffalo girl grows into, I ignore the show and continue my story. "They'd lose. Guarding the American invasion fleet were two powerful American fleets, Halsey's Third Fleet, the most powerful naval force on the planet, and Kinkaid's Seventh Fleet which could have defeated any other navy on Earth by itself. Part of Kinkaid's fleet was a unit called Taffy 3, a collection of small carriers, destroyers and destroyer escorts. The destroyers were the smallest fleet warships, and the USS Johnston under Commander Ernest Evans was one of them. He was an AmerInd, that is people from my country who used to live much as you buffalo do now, but he wanted to go to sea. He 'intended to go into harms way, and if you didn't want to go, you better get off right now.'"

"The escort carriers and destroyer escorts were generally designed as convoy escorts, they guarded merchant ships as they traveled to free up real warships to fight other warships. They had no business being in the same battle as the mighty Yamato, who out weighed all of Taffy 3 combined. In fact the Yamato's gun turrets were heavier than Evan's destroyer. Imagine fighting an enemy whose bow is heavier than you are."

"So these were second-line ships, full of second-line weapons facing the cream of the enemy's navy," I say, "The first is defending their fellow soldiers, the second is the only remaining striking power of their Empire."

I finished telling the tale of the Battle Off Samar. Most of the kids were wide-eyed at the incredible bravery and determination of the Taffy forces. The elders decided the test was over and pronounced me a warrior.

Thunderhooves later took me aside and said 'if your folk would risk everything and die for your kinfolk who you didn't even know about, as a matter of course, there's no trial you'd survive we could offer. Your humility and willingness to treat us the same is sufficient.'

It was a bit more flowery than that, but the implication was that nearly anyone from Earth would get the same treatment, unless proven a coward. I'd not only brought honor to me, but all of humanity. Not a bad couple days' work.

The train ride back to Ponyville will be an anticlimax, but plenty to report to her Highness.

Journal Entry - 1A+48

First thing to report is there's a fricken' dome of magic surrounding the town, and Twilight hasn't returned from her adventure. I'll probably kick myself when I figure out which villain it is, but right now I'm drawing a blank. Getting over, under or through the barrier is the first order of business.

"Don't do that again," Nightmare screams at me, a mix of fear and anger.

"I got through didn't I?" I gasp as I fall to my knees, appearing in the anteroom as I struggle to remain conscious.

"You nearly died," Nightmare replies as she holds my flickering form tightly as the effect of the barrier fades, "A pony wouldn't have died."

"A pony wouldn't have gotten through," I tell her, before I stabilize and am about to remain conscious.

I check myself over and find I have no physical wounds, although the agony of passing through the barrier had been excruciating. I stand and ignore the pounding and the shouts of Clear Brook and Balustrade.

"The other effect is psychological," Nightmare warns, "You're not going to take adequate precautions, or react properly."

How do you know that? I wonder.

"I had a hand down your pants starting a handjob and you didn't notice," Nightmare says.

Point taken, I think then privately add, I must really be messed up to have missed that.

The lurching walk into Ponyville passes in silence. The areas of pressed down grass as if something had been dragged over the ground clued me into whom we'd be facing.

There are a few very minor tricks Nightmare has learned how to do in the real world. Specifically, and she HATES it, she can make small parts of my body glow different colors. Not flashlight bright, and not really useful, and she really hates making light, think drinking coffee made with water out of the toilet bowl, even after you scrubbed and flushed a few times. Hence why I haven't mentioned it, it's not even good teasing material. But, if you had to drop trou and piss on something to save your life, you'd do it.

"Ah, the new host of Nightmare," I announce before Trixie can begin her introduction, "And with the name Trixie Lunamoon, you shall be Nightmare MOON! Bwahagha!"

Did you do that thunder clap? I ask as the echos die down.

"No, it's just the dramatic narrative," Nightmare explains, squirms, then makes the luminous purple cloud radiate around my eyes.

"Nopony will remember you as a performer, just the undisputed queen of the worlds! They will look upon your eternal beauty and despair! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" I shout as I approach.

Trixie's red-eyes briefly fade, then the Alicorn Amulet reasserts its power over her.

"People will remember Trixie! The Greatest Showmare of All Time!" Trixie shouts back and a few fireworks explode over her.

"Until you seized the Amulet, you were unworthy of hosting the Invincible Nightmare! You were unworthy of becoming the new Nightmare Moon! Just a strolling player! Not even worthy of hate, they kept your stuff after you ran away, the cowardly thespian shown up by the Shatterer of Worlds."

Trixie is about to retort, but the nightmare glow briefly fades and I'm able to mouth the word 'run', before the glow returns. "As my host you will be the focus of all attention, you won't have to play the chorine, the bit player, the faded jade. You will be the queen, and others will dance to your tune," I tell her.

Rainbow charges in, and both Trixie and I raise our arms, but she fires. Firing before me, she thinks.

"Yes, fall to the darkness of the Amulet, become more worthy as my host by the passing moments," I say, "Strike down this pathetic fleshbag, free my spirit so it can transcend you!"

That ends Trixie's plan to zorch me, and she throws up a barrier encasing me.

My screaming in pain isn't faked as I walk through it, but the pain is every dark memory, every time I was beaten for something I didn't do, every time my hard work was destroyed by my household, every time a bully picked me as the target, and every time my happiness was stripped away because someone more important thought it fun to do so.

Then I was through, and I stared at the horrified Trixie, but the experience had eliminated the glowing eyes. "Run, she only wants the amulet for your power up and your body as a carriage." I jerk and the glowing eyes return and the sympathetic expression fades to predatory.

Trixie grasps the Amulet firmly and makes a decision.

The damned amulet is hard, and heavy. Trixie knocked me cold with it, and then locked it around my neck. I can feel the rage of the amulet as it sought any power intrinsic to me and can find none, zero, nada.

Nightmare is laughing herself sick at the impotent rage as the amulet can't even talk to me coherently it's so mad.

Watching Applejack and Trixie putting Twilight in a headlock is an interesting sight to wake up to. I prop myself up on an elbow while three, naked, nubile women wrestle around on the floor. I wish I had a camera, or sold tickets.

"I'll set it up with me, Applejack and Celestia," Nightmare offers, "Maybe have them both take you on, first impaled on your dick gets to marry you."

Stifling the squawk from me and ignoring Nightmare's laughter nearly distracts me from the beautiful, dirty fighting Applejack and Trixie use to keep Twilight from spellcasting.

"Tickling her would work better," I say, distracting Applejack and Trixie enough for Twilight to close, but they slow her down as she gets in reach, and I show them how effective it is.

The future Alicorn-Princess is reduced to a squeaking, spark-tossing mess as she tries to fend off hands from all three of us.

"Okay, enough," Applejack declares, then stares at me, "And don't start in on me, we've gotta talk."

I pout at her, but let Trixie speak.

"It was all a trick," Trixie says, "If she'd been in her right mind, Trixie would have seen through the performance, but the amulet doesn't understand subtlety." She glances at Twilight. "You know the type."

Applejack just rolls her eyes and tries to hide a grin.

"All right, but what effect does the amulet actually have?" Twilight asks as she gets up and straightens her hair out of her face.

"It has given Nightmare a case of the giggles as it screams rage at the world, at me for being powerless, and at everyone involved in it being around my neck instead of a worthy pony's," I reply, "I wasn't lying, they still have your stuff in the mayor's office."

Trixie brightens immediately, then drops back into character.

"We could keep her around," I tell Applejack, "She's got rock farming experience, and maybe she can teach Twilight that there's more to being a unicorn than magic-slinging. That spells like Want-it-Need-It, the Pinkie Exterminator, the Parasprite Mutator, and that scroll of Star Swirl's aren't necessarily the answer to pending questions. That talking to us 'Everypony is crazy' normies might actually teach her about friendships. Instead of planning a magical lobotomy on a sleeping person who'd already solved the problem."

Twilight is looking horrified as she realizes I knew exactly what she was planning.

"I chopped the horn off the last pony who used mind-control on my friends, and I'm afraid I got a taste for it since it works so well," I tell Twilight, who squirms backward into a corner, both hands covering her horn.

"But I know all there has to be is Celestia's rules and Twilight would break into a glass case to retrieve her Element of Magic, can't break rules to recover hugely dangerous, flagrantly stolen, national treasures," I say and have Twilight's jaw hanging open, "Not when it might break Celestia's rules. Didn't the Crystal Empire teach you anything? Thousands of ponies' lives hanging in the balance and you were focused on getting a gold star on Princess Celestia's test. Did it ever occur to you that her real test was learning to say 'Screw your Rules Celestia, I'm doing what's right?' You seem willing to do whatever underhanded and immoral thing is necessary to stay in her good graces or satisfy your sense of what is right and proper. Frankly you need to learn from somepony like Trixie who can separate the character from the actor."

I left Applejack and Trixie behind to deal with Twilight's rather delicate emotional state, but she's still pounding buttons I'd thought I'd desensitized. I know I can take off the amulet anytime I want, but it's powerless while I wear it, and therefore a net increase to the safety of Equestria.

Of course with my luck, the spirit of the amulet will be a voluptuous female, and then I'll have Nightmare and the A.A. in my head.

"Where are we?" I ask Nightmare as we walk through what I can't decide if it's a sewer or an abattoir. I look at the desiccated husks of ponies, griffons, the occasional diamond dog, and realize the hallway is the parchment-covered skeleton of a very large dragon.

"This is the amulet's digestive tract," Nightmare says, "It gives the creature whatever massive magical boost they want, while it eats their soul in the bargain."

"Then why are we walking inside it?" I ask.

"Only way in or out, and we haven't been here long enough for it to hurt us too badly." A sword and a slash and we have a hole we can walk through into the rest of the amulet's innards.

I take it in with a laughing Nightmare following. "Those are those who died when wearing the amulet," she tells me, "We're alive and thus protected. And there are two of us, it can't harm friends, bosom companions and in my case that makes three I have."

I take the hint and nuzzle her tits. Her hands slip into my pants and begin working Nightmare's real magic. My hands slip under her bustier and begin working her nipples. We're competitive so it becomes a race, which can hold out, and which can break the other's grip. I don't use the tickling trump, I want this to last.

This is the kind of teasing and fighting I enjoy. "I love you," I tell Nightmare.

She gasps, not because I've slipped my fingers into her slit and started working her nub with my thumb, but I've never specifically told her that. I've implied in deed and action, but never the words. It's unfair, she's proven time and again she deserves it.

She's crying now, nuzzling me and making happy noises. I work at making her happier.

As she goes, I let myself go as well. While our cries are rapturous, the answering echo is despair.

I wake to being naked, at full mast, and having bukkaked both Applejack and Princess Celestia who were a bit close when Nightmare and I climaxed.

The next thing I notice is the warm sand pouring off my neck. The Alicorn Amulet has disintegrated and the dust is growing finer and more dispersed by the moment. The two mares have seen the same, although the faceful of the mechanism for its destruction dampens their enthusiasm somewhat.

"Doesn't that go in the other end?" Applejack asks.

"There are lots of places," I say, and lean forward to give her a kiss.

"You'll get it all over," Applejack squeals and backs away, "It's gonna be hard enough ta explain this." She glances at Celestia. "Y'all got a clean up spell? Kinda subtle-like?"

A gesture and they are clean, although the smell lingers a bit around all three of us, or maybe it's the room, and the sheets.

"I think I can guess what you did, with Nightmare," Celestia says, "But how did you know . . . " She starts as I cover myself as the door opens and Applebloom sticks her head in.

"Tantric Magic would work?" I offer as Applebloom wrinkles her noise at the smell. "Nightmare and I destroyed the Alicorn Amulet, everything's normal," I tell Applebloom who nods, wrinkles her nose again and leaves.

"Thank you," Applejack says, "Granny Smith will figure it out, but Applebloom doesn't need to know, yet."

"I don't know how Nightmare knew, but if the Amulet stoked the hate of those who wore it, then ate the souls of those who fell while wearing it," I say, "It's logical that a loving couple could shatter it, especially from the inside."

"You blew it up from the inside," Applejack says and snorts, "I gotta tell Twi that, then watch as she figures it out. There's gonna be a whole new shade of purple when she does." At that Applejack starts laughing and Celestia joins in, but she sits on the bed and hugs me, Applejack collapses onto the floor as she laughs.

Journal Entry - 1A+50

I wish I could report we all overcame our personal and cultural hang ups and had group sex, but that didn't happen. So there's some work to do. I did tell both Applejack and Celestia that I loved them, in the other's presence, which caused both of them to blush, and I apologized to all three (Nightmare included) for not saying it earlier, but I needed to both heal and grow up to tell any woman that. That there's no female on Earth I'd tell that to probably remains true, but these three are a different makeup. Neither Celestia nor Applejack say anything, but both take my hands. I do tell them that there's nothing shameful about their desire for each other, which really makes them blush and act like teenagers on a first date.

I knew Applejack felt that way towards Celestia, but it's nice to know my guess that it went both ways way right.

Granny walked in. Celestia and Applejack immediately straightened up and tried looking anywhere but at each other. Granny had stripped the top sheet off the bed when she turned and absolutely glared at Applejack, and at Celestia.

I was about to intervene, and take the punishment, when Granny stopped me cold.

Granny sighed, still glaring at the pair. "Young'uns ain't got no sense these days," she said to Applejack, then to Celestia, "Even ancient young'uns."

While Applejack and Celestia both looked like they wished to disappear through the floor and hide for a thousand years, Granny turned to me. "You keep bein' crazy," she ordered, then turned on Applejack, "I ain't lettin' you make the mistake I did. Sometimes a mare is jist a lonely mare and needs treatin' as such." Her expression softened a bit when she looked to see if I'd gotten the message.

"Nightmare made that very clear," I admitted, "And we've taken steps."

I noted that Applejack was looking at her grandmother as Twilight might a new and alien species, while Celestia was showing equal interest in the whorls in the wood of the ceiling timbers.

Granny carried the soiled linens out. "Applebloom's in school, Big Mac's in the field and I gotta go into town. One shower total, and I'm still mare enough to tan your hide Applejack, and your man'll give it away however clever he thinks he is."

"I suggest we do as ordered," I said, "Besides we have to brief Twilight, if we don't shower before we do, it'll give the joke away."

I strongly suspect that Applejack and Granny Smith are going to have a very private conversation later. You being there is physical proof that your grandparents had sex, but nobody likes to think about it. But Granny and Celestia? That's something I'd want to know about, and get some pointers, unless she's implying she broke it off before they went that far.

Twilight proved as entertaining as promised. She put tantric together with the amulet bursting, and if she gone any purpler, she'd have vanished into the ultraviolet. Trixie promised to show her how that worked, and for an instant I thought Twilight had done just that, until I remembered she could teleport.

Trixie was having a new wagon and props made, and was giving a few shows to earn some bits. I suspect her battle against the evil of the Amulet would get all the blame for her reign of terror. I'd told her how the amulet worked to give it some verisimilitude, maybe heckle her first performance to make her the bigger woobie in the eyes of the Ponyville populace. She offered a few acting lessons beforehand, and an offer to travel with her.

I replied I liked the benefits of farming, and it was better to have lots of ponies around when trouble arrived, which it always did. Trixie only grinned, which turned Applejack a uniform burnt umber, and took her leave.

I was disappointed that Celestia couldn't stay, although she did admit to Granny in front of her family, 'I never blamed you for what happened.' But night, bed and rest beckoned and despite having slept through the past couple days, I was again exhausted beyond words.

"Uh, hi," I said to Applejack as she stood beside my bed.

"It seems everypony - even Applebloom thinks we have already passed this point, so it seems kinda silly dancing around it, worried what everypony will think about it," Applejack said, fidgeting with the hem of the shirt she often wore to bed.

I leaned forward and kissed her. "While I appreciate the sentiment, you're doing this out of duty, not because you feel it, and I'm so tired that I'd make a complete hash out of it. So if you wouldn't mind just cuddling, I think I can do that, and we'll see what the morning brings."

She gives me a shy smile and takes my hand as she climbs onto bed. Then looks around. "How do we do this?"

"Usually like spoons in a drawer," I said as I climbed in, "You'd be behind me with your arm draped over me, so I don't choke on your hair. But with your ponytail that isn't a problem."

"I think I got a better way, a pony way," she said as she lay on her back and pulled me on top of her with my head on her breasts. Then she pulled the covers up to my ears and wrapped her legs around mine. "Okay?" she asked nervously.

"Won't you be uncomfortable?" I asked.

"I snore on my side or stomach," I admitted and while I can't see it, I feel her skin warm with the blush.

Journal Entry - 1A+51

I've decided I'm going to kill Rainbow Dash. I'm going to skin her alive, and while thousands of outraged nerve endings lay exposed, I'm going to pluck out her feathers one at a time and set them on fire and lay the burning plumage on her flayed body. Then I'm going to fill her skin with salted, lemon juice and staple it back on her body. Then I'll get creative. Then I'll get mean.

Granny, Applebloom, and Big Mac had decided to let us sleep in, possibly to complete what Applejack had planned to consummate last night. We were just waking up, and enjoying the warm glow of the sun and the chance for there to be more, when who should start pounding on the window, screaming like a madmare whether we were done because something important was happening? If you can't answer, read the preceding paragraph.

Was it a dragon, some villain not chronicled on the show, a earthquake destroying the dam, Bab Seed bullying Applebloom, Celestia declaring herself Queen, or that Rainbow accepted into the Wonderbolts? Yeah, the last would be internally consistent with Dash's personality.

Yes, that's what it was, the Wonderbolts sent her an invitation to their training camp. How could I forget that? So on what could have been a marvelous day of me and Applejack, we all had to congratulate Rainbow on common sense breaking out among the elites of Equestria. And that's how I'll start skinning her.

"It's nothing special," I say as everypony else is adulating Rainbow.

" 'Nothing special'?" Rainbow Dash says back, in my face, "They're only the most elite flying team in the entire world!"

"The most elite flying team in the world are Princesses Celestia and Luna," I reply, "That isn't a testament to your awesomeness, it's them figuring out that the future of Equestria rests on the shoulders of an undisciplined goofball," I tell her, the look on her face couldn't be worse if I'd skinned her alive. Step one accomplished. "So go, learn, absorb everything they can teach you, because that letter also means they think you're redeemable. That maybe they can turn you into someone who can stand up under the pressure of your responsibilities. Maybe they'll give you the lessons that you can teach the rest of the team, your team."

"What lessons?" Rainbow asks.

"About leadership, and followership," I reply, "A team like the Wonderbolts is all about following orders, the plan, but it's also about speaking up when the plan is being formed." I look directly at Pinkie Pie, who cowers slightly, then at Twilight, who seems to want to be anywhere else, "Because hurried plans too often lead to disasters and tragedies."

Twilight practically cowers at the barb thrown.

I sweep the entire group. "That's what this team needs, the ability to tell their leader that she's got her head up and locked, change the plan, then follow without a hiccup now or doubts later. That's what they'll try to teach you."

Rainbow absorbs this hovering in the air, actually thinking for a bit.

She's about to dismiss it when I throw in, "You'll also find out how little you actually know about the Wonderbolts, flying and aerial maneuvering. So all in all it'll be a good experience as long as you leave your ego out of it. They'll break you down and build you back up. I'm just surprised they didn't send Fluttershy the same invite."

Fluttershy looks like she is going to say something, but hides behind Rarity instead.

"Methinks she got one already," Nightmare says.

Good to have you back, I think to her, Where've you been?

"Waiting in the wings so you couldn't claim I influenced you to Applejack," Nightmare says, "Little good did it do me, you tease."

"So my point is, when they make you a subordinate, look to being a good subordinate," I tell Rainbow, "When your leader suggests something morally questionable, unfair, or downright cheating, think about how would you want Captain Spitfire to handle it, and more than anything, talk to them! Your leader and the Wonderbolts. The whole point of you being there is to learn what it takes to be a member of an elite team."

Rainbow actually looks thoughtful. I never knew she had it in her. I suspect Lightning Dust is in for a rude awakening. Of course so is Rainbow, but that's a given.

Journal Entry - 1A+52

While I might have a tendency to put the boot in while the target is unawares, I hope I've grown enough not to kick someone when they're down, if they wouldn't do the same to me.

So aside from reminding Pinkie Pie that Rainbow has so much to learn she probably wouldn't welcome us showing up, and that she'll have a huge amount to teach when she returns so a big block of Rainbow-only time should be cleared for after, there isn't a lot to do. Trixie's wagon is going ahead and she's dragged Pinkie Pie out to discuss (dissect/critique) my rock farm to distract her. I took the innocent criticisms in stride, although I got most of my mistakes straight out of text books. Oh horror, scholars being wrong, how will Twilight survive?

Well, we'll see, because the three of us discussed exactly that where Twilight could hear, Trixie and Pinkie couldn't see Twilight, and those two fled like scalded cats as soon as they realized they'd impugned books in Twilight's presence. Considering the expression on Twilight's face, her completely disheveled mane, and that she was vibrating up and down a few inches, maybe running away would have been the better choice.

"The books are wrong?" Twilight asked, her calm voice contrasting her face and body expression which managed to capture both Jack Nicholson and Mia Farrow's in The Shining.

"Oh Grey Rock," Discord said as he entered the library and glanced around, "Sorry, forgot to buy flowers for a funeral." Discord vanished in smoke conveniently labeled 'puff'.

"It happens: ideas, fashions change," I said.

"Fashions, in sCieNce?" Twilight asked so sweetly.

"Sure, some scientists publish things to suck up to their patrons," I said, "After all, you still haven't denied ponies are a parasatoid species. In fact - you do just that when it's brought up," I said to the dissipating unicorn-shaped smoke cloud as I looked around the empty, main room of the library. "Exit, stage orchard," I said and fled.

I had to apologize to Spike as Twilight spent the next couple hours counting the hairs in her tail. The fact she could do it in a couple hours is scary all by itself.

Journal Entry - 1A+54

I've done it now. I didn't mean for it to spread like that. It was just a little prank on Pinkie Pie to get her mind off Dash's absence. I've heard there are outbreaks in Canterlot, Derpy took it to VanHoover, so the whole Postal System is affected, and the buffalo . . . so it can cross species.

Spike's got it, so that means the dragons aren't immune. What have I done?

" 'Gory, Gory what a hell of a way to die,'" Applebloom, Diamond Tiara and Granny Smith all sang together, "'He ain't gonna jump no more.'"

"What have you done?" Nightmare asked, her rage palpable, "That all my efforts failed so miserably to achieve?"

"You have no idea how sorry I am," I said for all to hear as I fled outside to Big Mac, Fluttershy, Rarity and Princess Luna singing the same song.

Journal Entry - 1A+55

Nope, nothing nada. There's no pony song catchy enough to break the hold of Blood Upon the Risers. I need to pull out the big guns!

" 'Two thousand men and fifty thousand tons of steel,'" Balustrade and Prince Blueblood sang.

"How is this an improvement?" Discord asked.

"At least they aren't singing about blood and gore and throwing up afterwards," I shouted over Celestia and Fancy Pants.

They belted out, " 'Firepower! Firefight!'" As Discord and I headed to a quiet cavern to decide on a new course of action.